WYATT: Hey, Mom.
I'm doing all right.
My narcolepsy is fine.
No, I haven't been
sleeping on the floor.
[guitar, whistling]
I'm fine.
Things have been good.
Really...
good.
No.
I have a job, remember?
Okay, yeah,
I'm just a temp,
but isn't every job
temporary?
If you work anywhere
long enough,
everyone's just a temp
in the end, right?
We're temporary beings
is what I'm getting at.
We all die eventually.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Didn't mean to be so dark.
Yes, I'm still a temp.
That's why I called.
[sighs] I'm gonna give them
an ultimatum today.
So some support would be nice.
Wait a second, Mom, hold on.
What are you guys doing?
Oh, hey, dude.
Just doing some day trading.
And why are you doing it
up here in the living room
and not downstairs
in your own bedroom?
Well, we rented out our rooms
for the night.
It's the sharing economy,
you know.
Sharing is caring, Wyatt.
Thank you, Barrett.
What happened
to the flat screen?
Yeah, we rented that out too.
TV is gonna
rot your brain, Wyatt.
Oh, okay.
So who'd you rent
your rooms out to anyway?
Oh, hey, look,
there's one of 'em right there.
Hey, are you guys
gonna eat this?
- Oh, hey, dude.
- Hi.
- Hey, is that the gordita?
- Not the gordita.
I'm sorry, Mom,
what were you saying again?
Nothing.
[guitar continues]
Fine, Mom.
I've been staying awake.
So how's Dad?
No, please,
don't put him on the phone.
[sighs]
Hi, Dad.
I'm not quitting.
I'm just asking for a promotion.
Yeah, I know, but I'm talking
about my career here, now.
Whatever.
Okay, I'll move home!
If I don't get the job.
But I'm gonna get it.
Look, I gotta go.
I'll talk to you
two later, okay?
[engine starts]
[car door closes]
Okay, ending global hunger.
Charities.
Where's the new stuff
we were talking about?
Well, on the top there,
there's an article
about endangered tortoises.
Endangered tortoises. Nice.
Let me ask you a question.
Who gives a, uh,
flying fuck
about endangered tortoises?
Okay, you know
what we publish here.
Things like
homelessness, drugs,
shameful deviant sex acts.
Raw human emotion
with an emphasis on tragedy.
But I can do that stuff too.
Listen, bring me something
good for the website,
and I'll consider it, okay?
Until then, I've gotta
keep you where you're at.
Thanks.
Or, you know, you can consider
a different route,
maybe a job in tech.
I just--
You might not be cut out
for being a journalist, bud.
Are you--
Are you meditating?
Wyatt!
Wait, you okay?
You need me to call you
an ambulance?
No, no, I don't need
an ambulance. I just...
I have narcolepsy.
Mild narcolepsy.
It's not a big deal.
You have fucking narcolepsy,
and you didn't think
that would be something
pertinent to tell us?
Fuckin' hell, man!
Jesus Christ.
Look, I'm sorry it happened.
I'm sorry, I was just...
[mumbles]
I just fuckin' fell asleep
in your office.
You fall over,
you crack your fuckin' head,
I've got a lawsuit
on my hands.
I don't want a lawsuit
on my hands.
The next time
you're in my office,
you fucking wear a helmet!
[xylophone]
[rock]
[cheering]
Oh, excuse me, bud.
[continues]
[door closes]
- Oh, you're back in your room.
- Oh, hey, man, what's up?
No one told me that we're
having a party tonight.
Yeah, it's just something
Barrett put together.
Super low key.
[man screaming]
Sounds like it.
So how'd it go today?
I'm still a temp.
That is so unjust, man.
I think it's time for me
to pack up and go home.
Stepping stones, man,
stepping stones.
Dude, when I started my website,
it was just me and a dream.
And now I've got
10 people underneath me.
Right, and how much do you
pay these people again?
$3 an hour.
But that is
a really good rate in India.
Microsoft,
those cheap bastards,
are only paying
50 cents over there.
$3, that's a lot, man.
You're Mother Teresa,
Mahoney.
Damn right I am.
Hey, come upstairs
for a while.
Maybe get drunk
and mush it in something.
WYATT: Not very Teresa-like!
ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to the world of Slice.
I'm Sean Cross.
Tonight on Slice News,
Wayne Bradshaw takes you
to the worst shooting gallery
in the entire
Western hemisphere.
Let's go to Wayne now.
Wayne, are you there?
We've got junkies galore
out here, Sean.
They call this neighborhood
The Haystack
'cause there's needles
everywhere.
Watch your step.
Here we go.
We got a couple people ready
to shoot up right now.
Let's get a close-up
on that needle.
Ooh, that's some great needle
footage, Wayne. Super gross.
WAYNE: You guys are out here
doing drugs every day, huh?
Yeah, you want some?
These guys are basically
fucked, Sean.
There's no hope for 'em.
They really, really are.
Looks super sketchy
down there, Wayne.
Smells like human feces
out here, Sean.
People don't just come fuckin'
take a shit at your house.
SEAN: Why don't you get
some more injection close-ups?
Show me some blood.
Could you guys shoot up
just like one more time?
We didn't really get
a clean take on that.
JUNKIE: You can just
shoot up your--
[rock]
[yelling]
Damn, Gina.
Oh, hey, Barrett.
Hey, listen, I want you
to meet my friends.
- Hi.
- This is Claire.
This is Stephanie.
They're from New Zealand.
They're staying with us
for the week.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Baby bird!
That was so sick!
Oh, you're pretty good.
That's gonna be good!
Bawk bawk!
[soft chatter]
- Nothing like modified.
- No difference.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Look who decided
to come out of his cave.
You know, I can't tell
who lives here at this point.
Feel like I'm living
in a flophouse.
Hey, you read the search terms
on the Craigslist ad.
Kegs, 420 friendly,
bacchanalia, debauchery.
Hey, have you ever noticed
that hatchback over there?
Yeah, I think it's been
there for a few months.
Some weird girl
lives inside of it.
That's what you get when
you have good street parking.
It's like a beacon
for transients.
I wonder who she is.
Listen, man, I think
we need to collectively
raise our standards
as a household.
We do not need another
drifter in this house.
SEAN: You know
what we publish here.
Homelessness, drugs,
raw human emotion
with an emphasis on tragedy.

- Okay, I'll leave.
- You don't have to leave.
It's a great spot.
That's why you knocked
on my window?
To compliment
my choice in parking?
No.
You know me, right?
You-- I mean, you see me.
I live right around
the corner.
We're like neighbors.
I guess I was just
being neighborly.
Okay.
Hi, neighbor.
I'm Wyatt.
Fern.
So what do you
really want, Wyatt?
I guess I just wanna
get to know you.
What's a girl, who doesn't
seem like a drug addict,
doing all the way
from Montana,
living in her
'88 hatchback?
Well, it's an '87,
and I'm a total meth head,
You got any?
Um...
Was I really that convincing?
No, no, of course not.
Um...
You want a car-warming present?
Oh, because at the very least,
I must be an alcoholic, right?
No, obviously not.
Girl living in her car,
there's gotta be
something wrong with her.
This was stupid.
I'm really sorry
and embarrassed,
so I'm gonna leave you.
You have a good night.
Wait, don't go.
I mean, I don't
wanna get arrested
for soliciting
a prostitute, so...
just get in.
You want me
to get inside there?
Yeah.
Come on, give me that.
This isn't so bad, actually.
Why here?
A lot of people
park on this block.
See that red truck back there?
This construction worker
parks there every day.
He leaves on the weekends,
probably to go back
to see his wife and kids.
And that little white car
right there,
this old woman named Margaret
lives there.
She's from Vermont.
So basically like
any car with shades on?
Yeah, or else it'll steam up
from your breath,
and cops look for steam.
Where do you shower?
Who says that I do?
You smell like
Head & Shoulders.
The YWCA.
Do you like always let
strangers into your car?
No, but when I read
your articles,
I knew you were harmless.
You stole my stuff?
You threw it in the trash.
I mean, what kind of guy
who writes about pet adoptions
and county fairs
would hurt me?
Besides, I need something to do
while I'm sitting here
all night.
Well, I guess it could make
good toilet paper.
I don't have a toilet.
There's some pretty good
stuff in here, like...
Something about tortoises.
Yeah, I know.
I wrote about tortoises.
No, seriously. I mean...
they've been adapting
to the deserts for eons,
and then we just come through
with our strip malls
and gas stations and just
pave right over their homes.
It's so sad.
Yeah, it is.
That's why I wrote it.
It's too bad nobody
gives a shit, I guess.
I give a shit.
I give lots of shits.
I mean...
I know what you mean.
Why are you here?
I work for this company
called Slice.
It's not working out
so well though, so...
I think I'm just
probably gonna go home.
That shitty clickbait company?
Yep.
Your stuff's better than that.
Gee, thanks.
Who's he?
No one.
I mean, he's like
everywhere on your car.
Can you take the hint that
I don't wanna talk about it?
Sorry. I was just
trying to be friendly.
He's my dad, all right?
Did they ever find him?
No. Assumed dead
since I was nine.
Then I got this
a few months ago.
"Dear Fern,
your father needs your help.
He's in Los Angeles.
Sincerely, Dr. Green."
Dr. Green?
Some street guy.
We searched the shelters
and databases,
but can't find him.
If you need to,
you can stay on our couch.
We have surfers all the time.
I don't surf on couches.
- We have a shower and a toilet.
- I'm fine on my own.
I don't what to say.
I just wanna...
do something.
Thanks, Wyatt.
Hey, wake up.
Oh, my God.
Sorry. I guess
I overstayed my welcome.
I deserve it for getting
drunk with a stranger.
What about you?
You just slept
in a weird girl's car.
You should really think
about that, Wyatt.
Okay.
I'm kinda kidding.
But kinda not.
You wanna come inside?
I'll make you breakfast.
I don't belong in your world.
Well, maybe you should
give me your number
- in case you need anything.
- I don't have a phone.
Well, then maybe
I can find you one.
I don't want it.
The Internet's terrifying.
I've got laundry to do
and then I have work, so...
- Work?
- Yeah.
I work at the thrift store.
Where do you think
I get all these cool rags?
Well, it was nice talking.
It was... decent.
[engine starts]
So did you have
a good time last night?
Yeah, actually.
I met a really
interesting girl.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, the one in the hatchback.
[gasps]
I stayed in her car
that night too.
- Oh, no, really?
- Yep.
Dude, that's classic.
It's almost as good
as the time that Barrett
banged that chick
with one breast implant.
Actually,
it's nothing like that.
We just talked.
- What?
- Yeah.
I think I'm gonna help her
find her dad.
Huh?
I'm gonna write an article
about it for Slice.
It might get some clicks.
And she's into that?
I'm gonna change her name.
She's not probably
gonna read it, so...
Sounds like you've
got it all figured out, man.
Dude, nice wheelie,
by the way.
Thanks.
So Barrett really
slept with a girl
who only has
one breast implant?
Yeah.
We called her Sili-con-solo.
He would just put
the deflated breast to the side,
and he would just
work up on the good one.
You know the funny thing
about that story
is that when she
finally got an implant
put on the other side,
she stopped
answering his calls.
Well, that seems about right.
After all, he really is
a one-breast caliber kinda--
Hey there,
little lemoncita
Uh, excuse me.
Would you happen
to know anybody
by the name of Dr. Green?
Come down,
I'm trying to meet ya
Fuck you!
Hanging in the sun
Ba baduda
ba ba ba baduda
But I need you now
Ba baduda
ba ba ba baduda
Won't you please
come down
Hey there,
little lemoncita
Won't you come down
I'm trying to meet ya
Hey there,
little lemoncita
Won't you come down
I'm trying to meet ya
You've been having fun
Ba baduda
ba ba ba baduda
Hey.
Yo, come on, man,
scoot over.
Wake up, come on.
My dogs are barkin'.
I'm sorry.
[inhales]
You know, they're giving out
free meals
down there at the church.
You should get yourself one.
I don't suppose you would
know anybody named Dr. Green.
Let's see.
Green, Green, Green, Green.
Oh, you mean Dr. Gangrene.
- Yeah, I know her.
- Her?
Mm-hmm.
She lives up under Sepulveda.
She's a real doctor,
you know?
Why do you call her
"Gangrene?"
'Cause she's got gangrene
on her foot.
Oh, well, then I guess she must
not be a very good doctor, huh?
She amputated it herself.
She's real smart.
Look, this--
this is really helpful.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
Just don't call her that
to her face, all right?
I found her.
You'll have to excuse me.
I'm being hypnotized
by this machine.
Far out.
But on a cooler note,
Dr. Green, I found her.
- Did you say her?
- Yeah.
Didn't you do your laundry
last week?
I'm always doing laundry.
Come on, let's go.
Wait, what about your--
What about your clothes?
I'll get 'em later.
I guess this is it.
I hope she's not
a bridge troll.
[soft guitar]
[guitar continues]
Dr. Green, are you in there?
Maybe she's not home.
Hello, Dr. Green?
Dr. Gangrene?
DR. GREEN:
Who is it? Who is it?
Um, it's Wyatt, and--
Who are you?
Transportation Authority, huh?
No, no, we're not.
Who told you
to call me Gangrene?
It was your friend,
the old guy.
I'm not friends
with an old guy.
I am not going back
to that shelter.
We're not taking you
back to a shelter.
We're not going
to hurt you, please.
I'm just looking for my dad--
Simon.
Yeah.
I sent you the letter.
Oh, my God.
I'm Dr. Green.
It's so nice to meet you.
Likewise.
- Can you let me friend go now?
- WYATT: Please?
Sorry, kid.
I didn't mean it.
Dr. Green.
It's okay.
Wyatt. Pleasure.
Let me put this away.
Sit! Sit, sit,
sit, sit, sit.
It's dirty, it's filthy,
I know,
but it's just I'm not
expecting any company.
Just sit, sit, sit.
Come on.
It's just a miracle
that you're here.
Why did you send it?
Oh, honey, he told me to.
You know,
you're all he talks about.
I think he thought
maybe it might be better
if it came from some kind
of a neutral party, you know?
See this?
He built that for me.
I met him under this bridge.
He should have
sent it himself.
Oh, honey, he's sick.
He's always been sick.
You see that behind you there?
Now, he said
he carved that for me.
But that's not my face, right?
That's your face.
That's not me.
He always used to carve
things like this.
He's got cancer, Fern.
What?
Doesn't wanna go
to a hospital.
He's gonna let it
finish him.
That's why I wrote you
the note.
When was the last time
you saw him?
About two weeks ago,
I guess.
There's a place called
Murphy's Ranch.
It's one of his favorite spots.
It's up in Topanga.
Were you two at all...
Yes, we were.
He's a hard man
to hang onto.
Maybe I was better off
without him.
Now, if you believe that,
you wouldn't have
gotten in your car,
come all the way down here,
now, would you, huh?
You have to see your father.
He should see you again.
He should see what a lovely
young lady you've become.
It was nice meeting you,
Dr. Green.
No, you don't have to go yet.
We can't waste any more time.
Well, listen, kids,
if you need anything,
you need anything at all...
Oh, I can't believe
you're here.
I just can't believe it.
If you need anything,
you call me.
You come right here.
You come right here.
- Thanks.
- You have any questions--
We will. Thanks.
- You know where to find me.
- Okay.
WYATT: Hey.
Do you really have a PhD?
Berkeley '71,
Philosophy.
You be careful of her.
She's like her papa.
[guitar]
Gotta say,
your dad has great taste
in getaway locations.
He must love it here.
Was he, um, decent
when he was around?
Yeah, from what I remember.
I mean, sometimes
I'd look into his eyes,
and he just wasn't there.
My grandparents said
the last time they saw him,
he was slow dancing with a
Barbie doll in the living room.
Well, maybe
they ran away together
and started a family.
That'd be nice.
WYATT: Are you scared?
I'm always scared.
Anybody home?
Hey, look at this.
Hello?
Think I could fit in here?
No, don't do that, Fern.
- I think so.
- Fern, seriously?
- Yeah.
- Fern!
Whoa.
It's so cool in here.
Hey, you should come in here.
Nah, I'm not really
a derelict-structure kinda guy.
He's here!
He's-- He's in there?
- Garbage?
- No.
Sardines.
They were his favorite.
Those could be anybody's.
You know that, right?
No, it's his brand:
Beach Cliff.
He's here.
He's definitely here.
Come on,
we have to go find him.
- Okay.
- Come on!
Your dad has
a brand of sardines?
[guitar]
[knocking]
Hello?
Hey, look.
This is his.
And this is his stuff.
What's this?
It's a medical bracelet with
his name on it. Lynn Blade.
Wait, I've read about
that place.
It's a psych ward downtown.
What is this place?
[pounding]
Why can't we get in?
Maybe he's here.
Goddamn it!
I just want him to be real.
I promise he's real.
What just happened?
Is this a joke?
Wyatt, Wyatt.
Are you okay? Wyatt!
- [snoring]
- Huh?
This is embarrassing.
What the fuck was that?
I fell asleep.
Wow.
That boring, huh?
Narcolepsy.
Seriously?
Why didn't you tell me?
You just scared the crap
out of me.
I thought I had a handle on it.
Jesus.
It only happens when I get
emotionally triggered.
How do you drive?
I don't know.
I try to stay calm,
listen to smooth jazz,
avoid road rage.
You know, when I was a kid
in like school,
all the students would just try
to get me so riled up and angry
so I'd pass out and wake up
with a bunch of
marker drawings on my face.
- Aw, that's so terrible.
- I know.
Wait, does this mean
that you're gonna fall asleep
every time we kiss?
I guess we'll just
have to find out.
- You look alert.
- Yeah?
[shouting]
Jesus!
Sorry. I thought
you were park rangers.
We didn't see anything.
We're not gonna tell anybody.
What do you think I'm doing?
Do you think
I'm making meth in there?
Goddamn it! I'm tired of
people thinking that
just 'cause of the way I look!
What about me says
I'm making meth?
It's not what I'm making!
What are you making then?
Making angel dust, PCP.
It's not meth.
That's gross, you know?
It's not a big deal.
Gotta make something.
It's hard to get a job
out there for a felon.
We understand.
Yeah, no, we're not
judging you at all.
Thank you.
Actually, that...
You actually don't even know
how much that means.
I need to hear that sometimes.
WYATT: You're welcome.
Do you wanna buy some?
Do you know a guy named Simon
who lives out here sometimes?
Yeah, I know him.
Haven't seen him
in a few weeks though.
If you see him,
that bastard owes me money.
This homeless powder
isn't free.
He does PCP?
[chuckles]
He dabbles.
You should try
the Star Hotel downtown.
He's usually there
with the other degenerates.
Thanks.
Hey...
you're not gonna tell anyone
about me, are you?
We have no idea where we are,
so that would be impossible.
I trust you guys to keep my
clandestine drug lab a secret.
Really?
No.
Hey, wait!
I was kidding!
I was just--
It's lonely out here, man!
[bongos]
I'm gonna burn him down
- I'm gonna burn him
- I'm gonna burn one
Down
That's it.
Do you two knuckleheads
ever work?
By the way,
rent's due tomorrow.
Oh, dude, I didn't tell you.
- What?
- My uncle died.
Barrett, um...
I'm sorry.
I don't know what to say. I--
No, it's great, man!
I inherited 20K, man!
That's $20,000!
So I was planning,
not next week,
but the week after
to do like a work search
and try to find a job.
Not happening now, dude!
Well, in at case,
I guess congratulations.
My uncle's gone
He's in the sky
I got the cash,
and I am fine
Nice to meet you, sir.
Hey.
Don't say "sir."
Say "bro."
You haven't met Farid yet.
No, I have not.
Yeah, he just got in
from Delhi.
He's one of my employees
over there.
Nice to meet you, bro.
Ooh, you gotta let
those cool down, dude.
They are very hot.
So anyway, uh...
kinda have Fern coming over.
Cool.
The homeless chick, right?
Let's not call her that
ever again,
if you don't mind.
And if it's at all possible
for you guys
maybe to like,
I don't know, clear out?
[knocking]
Or not.
[sighs]
Come in!
[door closes]
Guys, this is Fern.
Hi.
Hi. These are my roommates.
I'm Barrett.
How do you do?
It's nice to finally meet you.
Hello.
We've heard so much about you.
So you know
why I'm here then.
I think you're going
to dinner, right?
To save your souls
from the coming apocalypse.
What?
The government's
watching us right now.
CIA, NSA, FBI,
Homeland Security.
Everybody knows that.
It was on 60 Minutes.
No, seriously.
They've got
this whole place bugged.
They're all working together
to orchestrate this one.
The end of humanity.
We must go underground!
They're listening to us
right now, I promise.
We have to fight back.
Really, bro?
Really, bro!
We have to fight
the bastards.
You have to help yourself.
You know the truth.
I can see it in your eyes!
- I don't.
- Fern, let's just get going.
We have a reservation.
Just calm down.
Just look at me.
Look at me, Fern. Listen to me.
Fern, can you hear me?
Fern, Fern, look at me, please.
Look at me, Fern!
Can you hear me?
Fern, are you there?
Oh, my God, that's--
- [laughing]
- You are--
You're certifiably insane.
Come on, let's go to dinner.
I gotta say,
your level of commitment
is really commendable.
Guess I'm just not great
with first impressions.
You know, they're never
gonna let you come back.
That was my intention.
[laughing]
I'm sorry I couldn't take you
to a real restaurant.
Don't worry about it.
I live off of this stuff.
I know what time
every fast-food breakfast ends.
That's an admirable quality.
Seriously, try me.
Um, Burger King.
12:00.
- Taco Bell.
- 11:00.
- Arby's.
- Yuck.
I'd rather skip breakfast.
I thought vegetarians
were like huge foodies.
I can't afford to be a foodie.
[chuckles]
Of course.
- I live in my car...
- Mm-hmm.
I eat french fries.
I guess you do make a point.
And seriously though,
that girl's mental.
Honestly, it probably was
the best date I've ever gone on.
Date?
Chill with a girl.
Either way, it was amazing.
Whoa, dude.
Where'd you learn that?
Saw it online.
- So guess what.
- What?
I finished the article,
and Slice is gonna
put it on the website.
No shit!
Hey, congrats, dude.
Yeah, it's a good thing
we got going.
For you and her,
or you and the job?
Both?
Hey, I think our form
is looking pretty good.
Yeah?
I think we're ready.
- Okay, let's go.
- Let's do it.
So what happens
after she finds daddio?
I don't know.
I'll just play it by ear.
- Shit!
- No.
Whew!
MAHONEY:
I think we need wetsuits.
- Nother day.
- Nother day.
[guitar]
SEAN: Oh, Wyatt, my man,
there you are.
Listen, great work
on the article.
Yeah, thanks,
I appreciate it.
I'm just curious why
you changed the title though.
I never said I slept with her.
Buddy, it's clickbait.
And you know what?
It's fuckin' working 'cause
people are clicking, okay?
You're not gonna believe it.
It's the top link on the site.
People are sharing it.
They wanna know
what's gonna happen.
Listen, I can't wait
for the next installment.
The readers can't wait
for the next installment.
Take the rest of the month off
and finish the story.
[pats table]
WYATT: I think they're closed.
We have to get in.
It's open.
Damn it.
FERN: Hello.
FERN: This must have been
a really classy hotel.
Do you really think
your dad would live in here?
I don't know.
Probably.
What's over here?
Hello.
Anybody up here?
If you are, don't jump out
and surprise us.
Just... say hello.
You know, the more we hang out,
the more my life is starting
to look like a horror film.
You're welcome.
Wanna take a bubble bath?
Go for it.
Hey, look.
Look at this.
It's him, all right.
"Lynn Blade Asylum?"
"Diagnosis: bipolar disorder
with schizoid tendencies
and suicidal ideation?"
Jesus, Dad,
what don't you have?
You look surprised.
It's weird seeing it written out
officially like this.
They used electric shock.
Geez, they still do that?
[door slams]
- Let's run.
- Let's get out of here.
- Which way is out?
- I don't know. This way.
Aah!
Oh, my God, are you okay?
Ow. Looks like it hurts.
Ah!
When you do that.
Sorry.
Ow. Okay.
I'm gonna wrap it up.
It's like very bruised.
Oops.
- Is that okay?
- Yeah.
Good as new.
Thanks.
Yeah.

So what are the illustrations
all about?
I don't know, just...
things I imagine while
I'm lying here at night.
Can I have this one?
You like Dick-Nose Fern?
Yeah, I think she's beautiful.
She's all yours.
Here.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Hey, guys.
What's up?
Have a seat, buddy.
Okay.
What is this,
like some sort of...
family meeting?
No.
- Listen, I just--
- It's an intervention, Wyatt.
Intervention.
I'm gonna begin by reading
my letter, but before I do,
I want you to know...
everyone in this room
loves you very much.
"Dear Wyatt, you've been
a really great friend of mine
for a long time.
I miss you, buddy."
MAHONEY: Shut up, Barrett.
Ever since...
you met that homeless chick,
you've put us
on the back burner.
Now all you do is you
trample around the city
on all these little
adventures.
And what about us, man?
You've gotta get help, Wyatt!
Beautiful.
Does anyone wanna
maybe tell me
what the fuck
is going on right now?
I've done some research
on Fern.
What? Why?
She's not who she says she is.
She's making it all up.
She's a faker, bro.
Farid, what, you too?
That's right, Farid.
She's a charlatan, dude.
That's not--
Yeah, she's like a gypsy.
She's after something.
I mean, it's clear.
No, fuck it--
That guy that you've
been trying to find,
it can't be her dad, okay?
She's from Arizona.
And, dude...
she's married.
- Please! That's bullshit.
- It's all online.
She doesn't even have
a fucking Internet connection,
let alone a cell phone.
MAHONEY: Fern Montgomery.
From Scottsdale.
She's running away
from her old life, man.
Don't kill the messenger, bro.
Fuckin' A, Farid.
Sorry. I'm just trying to help.
Hey, where are you going?
Oh, excuse me.
Would you take a dollar
for this toaster oven?
Oh, it's $3.
It has a great big dent in it.
See right there?
Yeah, that's why it's $3.
How about $2?
I'm sorry.
It's already only $3.
How come you won't work with me?
I come in here all the time.
All the proceeds
go to charity, so...
Why does this store
suck so bad?
Right, well, um, it's $3.
Let me know if you would
like to buy it. Thanks.
[bells jingle]
So you heard about
the toaster sale too?
Sure, Mrs. Montgomery.
That's not my name anymore.
Hey, you shouldn't bring
your domestic disputes
into the workplace.
Very unprofessional!
Just take the dang toaster,
lady, okay?
No! I don't want it anymore!
I'm never coming back
to this stupid store again!
Look, I don't owe you anything,
all right?
You decided to help me,
remember?
Oh, no, I remember
I totally fell for the bait.
I just wanna know
what the hell's going on.
What is this all about
anyway?
I mean, is...
Is Simon even your real dad?
Just leave me alone, Wyatt.
Hey, where are you going?
Hey, you can't leave!
What about the store?
Um, honor system,
everyone, okay?
Just name your price and
leave the money on the counter.

[continues]
I just...
I just want you to be
who I think you are.
I like that person.
I want her to be real.
I'm sorry about the way
I acted earlier.
- I was being a jerk.
- It doesn't matter.
I didn't want you to think
I was a bigger mess
than I already am.
My mom died three years
after Simon disappeared.
My godparents in Arizona
adopted me.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
She liked pills.
The hatchback was hers.
I used to sleep in it at night
in my godparents' driveway.
It still had her scent
back then.
Are you married?
Legally, yeah,
but not emotionally.
I never really loved him much.
Do you think he's out there
looking for you?
No. When I got Green's letter,
I saw it as my chance to leave.
Tomorrow we'll go talk
to Dr. Green.
What's the use?
Well, this is beyond you now.
I'm invested in this.
Well, that really
sucks for you, Wyatt.
Seriously, it does.
Well, I guess I don't care.
WYATT: Maybe we'll see
the green flash tonight.
What's that?
It happens
when the sun goes down,
right before it disappears.
It's really rare,
but I've seen it happen once.
It's supposed to mean
good luck.
It only really happens
in pollution anyway.
Oh, hey!
I was wondering
what happened to you two.
Did you find him?
No.
Well, the man likes to wander.
Where is he, really?
What's going on with him?
Well, he's here.
Stay there.
There, you see?
[chuckles]
Oh, I'm getting so old.
I'm so sorry.
This is him.
This is all him.
He's all here.
That's mine.
That should never
have been in there.
Why didn't you show me
these things earlier?
He just dropped it by.
Didn't even bother
to wake me up.
He must know you're in town.
Where is he going?
If you didn't find him
at Murphy's Ranch...
Shady Acres.
He's gonna be at Shady Acres.
A rehab?
No, no, no, no, no!
It's a refuge.
To get off the drugs
you got him on?
I didn't get your dad on drugs.
I might do a little
smokey-smoke, kiddo,
but your old man,
he likes to self-medicate,
and there's nothin'
he won't take.
You don't mind me asking,
why do they call you Gangrene?
This is what happens
when you cut your foot,
and you don't get it
taken care of in time.
What do you think?
Is that making you happy?
Your father carved that.
He did such a good job,
nobody knows I even have it.
I can walk a couple of feet,
you don't even tell.
You don't have to cut
your toenails anymore.
No, but the termites,
my dear, are a bitch.
So do you know what you're gonna
say to him when you see him?
Not at all.
How 'bout we practice?
I'll be Simon,
and you can be you.
Okay.
[Southern accent]
Hiya, Fern.
Hey, Dad. Didn't know
you were a Southerner now.
Do you remember me?
I spent some time
in the Ozarks.
Oh.
I did a lotta thinkin'
back there.
I... I thought about you.
I understand if you
don't wanna forgive me.
Yeah, I know, I get it.
You're a pretty
messed-up dude.
Guess I can't blame you
for being the way you are.
Maybe I'm the same way.
You think you're the sa--
I mean...
You think
we're the same way?
Guess we'll see.
Mental illness
comes out in your 20s.
Did for you, right, Pops?
That's my girl.
[phone chiming]
Um, hello?
SEAN: Wyatt, my man.
Yeah, Mom, do you mind
if I just call you back later?
Yeah, I'll talk to you soon,
okay? Love you too. Bye.
Why is your mom calling
right now?
Um, she's just, uh...
She's just emotional.
She really wanted me
to move back.
Are you going to?
No.
Why would I...
I mean, are you...
Where are you
gonna go anyway,
after we figure this all out?
Hey, guys, come down.
I got some drinks
with your names on 'em.
Come on, let's go.
- Shall we?
- Yep.
[laughing]
- It was Barrett's girlfriend?
- Yes!
In India, we don't even talk
to a girl before we're married.
It is ridiculous!
Hey, we need shots.
Really?
No more shots.
More shots, more shots,
more shots!
- More shots?
- More!
- More.
- No!
Yes.
Here, you get the big one,
big guy.
- Great.
- He's my bestie best.
Here you go.
- Thanks, bestie.
- Here you go, man.
And okay, we're gonna toast.
To friendships.
[coughing]
No more.
Yeah, hits the spot.
- I can't--
- [phone chiming]
Um, hey, guys,
I gotta go make a phone call.
No!
Yeah, no, don't worry.
I'll be back. I'll just...
FARID: Don't go.
- This is our time, man!
- What a mama's boy.
- Don't go on without me, okay?
- Okay.
What a fuddy-duddy.
I think I'm gonna go to sleep.
MAHONEY: Hey, that's not--
that's not the couch.
SEAN: Keep suckin'
on these teats, Wyatt.
You're makin' mama proud.
About that,
I was trying to cover.
Oh, you can call me Mom.
That's cool.
You know, your story's
really interesting, by the way.
Thanks.
My mom left
when I was little too.
Wyatt told you about my--
Was I not supposed to know?
We need it by next week.
No problem, I just...
I don't know. I think
I should tell her, honestly.
Think about
what's important, okay?
Your career or this girl?
I know, I know.
Ooh, okay.
You know, it's pretty insane
that you live in that car.
Why do you say that?
I mean, you're
way too attractive for that.
Um...
Thanks.
I mean, you could totally pull
off living in your car though.
[laughing]
I concur.
Look, Wyatt, you're good,
and we could really
use a guy like you.
- You mean that?
- Of course, man.
There's been talks
about moving you up
to full-time
fuckin' staff writer.
That's-- That's amazing.
I would really like that.
[laughs]
So much body and volume.
Look at that beautiful shine.
Is that Pantene?
- Yes, it is! Very good.
- [laughing]
[sniffs]
Is that Head & Shoulders?
Yeah, it is!
[laughs]
I knew it.
No, of course.
[hiccup]
I-- I really wanna work
with you guys.
That's all I ever wanted.
Then finish the job.
Okay, no, um, I'm sorry.
I'm just really drunk and--
- Yeah, I am too.
- I have to go.
[vomits, groans]
Fuck.
I just woke up.
What happened last night?
We got drunk.
Well, I know you got drunk.
You slept over.
Yeah, I know.
I don't even remember
falling asleep.
I found you on the floor.
Yeah, that sounds like me.
I need to eat.
You wanna go somewhere?
No, I've got stuff to do.
But I thought we were
going to the ranch.
- Okay, what's up?
- Nothing.
Are you angry at me?
No, I--
I just gotta go.
Fern, wait.
Oh, man, dude,
my head's killing me.
Hey, should we be
concerned about Farid?
Fern was acting
really weird this morning.
Kinda left without saying bye.
Well, she does have ovaries.
Oh, fuck me.
MAHONEY: There's my champ.
Did anything strange happen
last night after I left?
No. We just talked.
Just talked, huh?
I was asleep, bro.
Drunk as hell.
What happened last night?
We just made out for a second,
and she backed away.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, yeah, no, no, no.
I got the story, man.
I get it. No, no.
I had a few drinks in me,
I was getting a little wasted,
one thing led to another,
before you know it,
I got my hand around her,
yeah, I got it!
I made a mistake.
You know, I would expect
this stuff from Barrett,
this being Scum Palace
and all, but you?
I thought it would
help the story.
How does that make any sense?
You're way too invested in her.
You said it yourself.
This should be about business,
not romance.
Can't you see that?
I want you to move out.
You don't mean that.
Why wouldn't I?
We're geography friends.
I only hang out with you
because I live with you.
If I met you on the street,
if I just didn't
even really know you,
I would never
hang out with you.
I thought it wasn't
about her, man.
She doesn't even know about
the articles yet, does she?
I'm sorry that
you had to witness that.
I'm disappointed
in the both of you.
I'm low on coolant.
Yeah, me too.
So you wanna talk
about Mahoney?
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have.
Do you like him?
No. He's repugnant.
So why did you do it then?
I'm low on oil too.
Could you just stop looking at
your fucking car for a second
and talk to me?
You know what?
Maybe I'm just not ready
for this, okay?
Why are you shutting down?
'Cause that's what I do.
You said to me--
You said you were scared
of happiness back in the woods
because it ends eventually,
right?
Everything ends when you die,
so what, does nothing matter?
I can't believe it, Fern,
like after everything that
we've been through together,
after everything
I've done for you, you just--
You just go behind my back.
It was just overwhelming, okay?
So I freaked out.
I freaked out because...
because I like you.
I like you a lot.
I just thought
it would be a way out,
and I wouldn't
have to be scared.
I've had a lot of broken
relationships in my life, Wyatt.
I'm sorry.
It didn't mean anything
to me, okay?
Can we just forget about it?
Please?
Honestly, I don't care anymore.
Let's just--
Let's just go to the ranch.
Let's find your dad.
We're so close.
Thanks.
You're a good person, Wyatt.
No, I'm not.
I'm not, actually.
Fern, I should tell you.
Um...
What?
I...
What is it?
What?
Wyatt?
Wyatt.
[snoring]
Just sleep.
It's okay.
Just sleep.
So what were you gonna tell me
right before you passed out?
Oh, I don't remember.
The place is so green.
It does exist.
I guess this is it.
Dr. Green wasn't
lying to us after all.
Look, they have archery.
Exciting.
Stop the car.
- Stop the car!
- Okay, okay!
[guitar, whistling]
- I knew it.
- He can paint too.
Simon?
Simon!
Hey, look, look.
Look at that one over there.
Hi.
Hi. I'm Bill.
I run Shady Acres.
Hey, I'm Wyatt.
Nice to meet you, Wyatt.
And you must be Fern.
Yeah.
Your father told me
you'd come.
Your likeness is
all over this place.
So what do you guys do here?
We provide help
to anyone who needs it.
Let me show you.
Here we rehabilitate
the mind, body, and soul.
These are the main grounds.
Some of the buildings
are a little drab,
but your father was commissioned
to put a friendly face on them.
- See that mural right there?
- Mm-hmm.
Your father painted that.
Simon was
an incredibly talented man.
What do you mean, was?
He used to talk about you
like you were always
in communication.
What's with
all the past tense?
Fern...
your dad passed
four months ago.
It was peaceful,
in his sleep.
I'm so sorry.
I'll give you a moment.
Fern...
Fern, I'm sorry.
I can't believe he left again.
He didn't even wait for me.
He's gone.
Don't, don't say that.
I mean...
WYATT: I'm sorry.
I wanna go home.
Okay.
What was he like?
He was a good friend.
I didn't know much
about his past.
[chuckles]
Well, I don't even think
he knew.
He just told me
that he had a daughter,
and everything he did
was for her.
I don't think
I'll ever understand him.
Your dad suffered from
schizophrenia, big time.
He was picked up for roaming
the streets, sometimes naked.
On more than one occasion,
we petitioned the authorities
to let him stay here,
rather than be sent to prison.
Simon was no criminal.
He just had
mental health issues.
He looked happy.
He was great,
when he was taking his meds.
Easy to get along with.
I'm glad you came, Fern.
He's still here,
in a way.
[birds chirping]
Where's his grave?
There isn't one.
Someone picked up his ashes from
the mortuary before we could.
[sighs]
Gangrene.
[knocking]
We need to talk, Dr. Gangrene.
Fern?
Hey. Hey.
Do you wanna sit down?
You know why we're here.
No. What?
Why did you lie?
- Well, Fern, he asked me to.
- Oh, please, yeah, right.
What would you have done, huh?
What would you have done
if I told you he was dead
in the letter?
Would you have come? No.
You would've stayed
right where you are.
He wanted you to see
all the things that he's built.
He wanted you
to get a glimpse.
It wasn't fair.
Don't tell me about fair.
I live underneath
a fucking bridge, Fern.
Guess what, honey?
Life isn't fair.
Your father wanted you
to see how he lived
the last days of his life,
and that's what he did.
So you put clues
all over the city
and just sent us
wandering around.
What?
Come on, the masks,
the medical bracelet,
the files?
That was all you, right?
That would be insane.
Yeah, that would be insane.
What is this?
The ashes, you have them.
No, I don't.
Will you just stop
lying to us?
You keep them
in that yellow container.
What are you talking about?
I don't have his ashes!
Yes, you do!
Hey, what are you doing?
No, no!
- Oh, my God!
- No, no!
I got it, Fern!
Be careful!
- Fern, take it!
- You son of a bitch!
No! You son of a bitch!
- [snaps]
- [screams]
[groaning]
You broke my fucking foot!
Don't! Fern!
Thanks for all your help,
Dr. Green.
Don't do that!
Don't, please.
It's all I got.
It's all I got of him, please.
I hope everything
works out for you.
Don't! Fern, Fern!
Fern, it's mine!
Fern! Fern!
I'm gonna keep some of him.
Here you lie, finally,
in a permanent home.
Well, sorta permanent.
I hope you found the peace
you've been searching for, Dad.
Rest in peace, Mr. Darby.

I was kinda hoping he'd be
some sort of millionaire
with a big family,
and then
I could really hate him.
But I just kinda
feel bad for him now.
Well, I think that's better
than hating him.
Hate's easier.
Move in with me.
[scoffs]
You don't want that.
I do.
You can get a job,
get back on your feet.
I don't know.
I'm not asking you sign
a one-year lease with me, okay?
It's just move in,
we'll try it,
and we'll see
how it works, okay?
Okay.
Here's a cupboard for you
to put your clothes in.
- Thanks.
- And actually, you know what?
You could use the closet
as an art studio.
Oh, yeah, that could work.
We can move your stuff
in tonight.
We'll go job hunting
next week.
- [urinating]
- You can park in the garage.
Guys won't mind.
And you know what, actually?
We have a laundry machine
that doesn't even need
quarters.
So you know,
no more Laundromat.
How's that sound?
"Her father is mentally ill,
and she, it seems,
is mentally ill too,
but I still love every moment
spent with her."
Okay, Fern,
I was gonna tell you,
I swear.
"Sometimes I envied
her tough life,
wrought with pain
and struggle,
mine being a prepackaged
suburban nightmare of boredom."
You used me.
You used me too.
You used me to find Simon.
I didn't knock
on your window that night.
Okay, look, all they want
is one more article from me.
The ending
to this sad, sad tale.
- I'm not going to submit it.
- Why not?
I shouldn't have done this
in the first place, okay?
You're right.
They're a terrible company,
and I just wanted
to impress them, okay?
And it was just
gonna be one article,
but it ended up
being another, and...
I hurt you.
Please believe me
when I tell you
that if I could erase every
single word that I ever wrote,
I would.
I'm gonna go sleep
in my hatchback.
Fern, please.
I've got a lot to digest.
Okay.
[door closes]
[guitar]
Tiger in the jungle
I know that you
You play rough
Tiger in the jungle
Fern? Fern!
That's been your kinda job
Tiger in the jungle
You ain't got everything
Hey, have you seen Fern?
No. She left the store
unattended.
She's banned.
Tiger in the jungle
You have made it
this far, but
Tiger in the jungle
I know who you are and
Tiger in the jungle
We'll have to wait
and see why
But for the moment
Your secret's safe with me
Tiger in the jungle
On the street astray
Tiger in the jungle
Your teeth is vertebrae
The tiger in the jungle
You is not home free
The only thing
chasing you is man
But man is me
Tiger in the jungle
It's here you are
You okay?
I saw some kids doing
some parkour earlier.
Looked so fun.
I looked up
some YouTube videos on it,
and I wanted to try it,
but I didn't wanna do it alone.
I think you need
to take a break, man.
Startin' to scare
the neighbors.
Yeah, the lady next door
thinks you're peeping on her.
I told her you're doing a crime
watch for the neighborhood.
So what do you say?
Wanna go do some urban running
before you get put on
the sexual predators watch list?
Where could she have gone?
Anywhere.
She could literally
be anywhere
in the continental
United States.
Well, you did know what you
were getting yourself into.
Look, I'm--
I'm sorry I...
I'm sorry I called you
a geography friend.
Hey, don't be.
I deserved it.
I've got a therapist now.
Seriously? Really?
Yeah. Farid suggested it.
You know, that Farid guy,
he's pretty smart.
[phone chiming]
Sean again.
Hey, now you can
finish your story.
I actually been avoiding him.
What, are you crazy?
Dude, she abandoned you.
She just left
without saying a word.
It was all my fault.
You did help her out a lot.
You know, maybe she left
to help you finish your story.
You really think so?
Yeah, man.
Now go finish it.
[soft guitar]
[knocking]
Hi, Wyatt.
Hey.
You don't answer your phone?
I was worried sick.
I've been kind of...
busy.
You find Pops yet or what?
Yeah, I found Pops.
Brilliant!
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
So let me guess.
He is a...
He's a circus performer.
- He's dead.
- Oh, come on.
That's no fun.
Let's do this.
Let's twist it up
a little bit so that he--
Wow, this is a really big spot
you've got here.
Let's twist it up a little bit
so that he is a cult leader,
no longer dead.
No, I don't think
I'm gonna do that at all.
What do you mean?
He can't just be dead.
Sean, I'm not broadcasting
her life anymore, okay?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. I'm done.
Come on, man, seriously.
The advertisers love it.
I don't care what
the advertisers like, okay?
I'm-- I'm done.
Are you fucking kidding me?
After everything
I've fucking done for you?
You haven't done squat
for me, Sean.
I'm done.
Look at me.
You're never going
to amount to anything.
Do you know why?
Because you're worthless
human trash.
[dirge]
SEAN: You fucking narcoleptic
piece of shit!
Go fucking cry to your mommy
'cause it's a tough world
out there, Wyatt,
and you just go and sleep
and let it fucking pass you by!
[dirge]
Hey, Wyatt.
Hey, Bill.
Welcome back.
I brought you a gift.
You look good.
Thank you.
Just wanted to stop by
and show you this.
"Shady Acres Ranch:
Rehabilitating Mind,
Body and Soul."
You wrote this?
Yeah, I did.
This is amazing.
It's on newsstands
all over the town,
so you should get some donors.
Thanks so much, Wyatt.
Thank you for this.
It's my pleasure.
Anyway, I gotta go.
Just thought I'd let you see.
Wait.
You going up
to the hill again?
I sense a green flash tonight.
You say that every time
you come by here.
Gotta be right
one of these days.
Let me know
when that day comes.

And additionally...
[organ]
The newspaper read
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
God bless, God bless,
God bless
Z-E-R-M-A-T-T-S
[organ]