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Hatching Pete (2009)
( Rhythmic Stomping,
Clapping ) Cock-A-Doodle-Doo! - ( Sneezes ) - ( Marching Band Playing ) Oh, Gosh. The Feathers. ( Sneezing ) Worst Chicken We Ever Had. That's Rooster. It's A Rooster. ( Sneezing ) Cock-A-Doodle-- Aw, Forget It. - ( Whistle Blows ) - ( Crowd Cheering ) Hey, Ms. Banfield, Sorry I'm Late. I've Been Looking For Camie Poole, Have You Seen Her Go Inside? I'm Sorry, Are You At Brewster High?E You're Kidding, Right? I'm In Your Biology Class. I'm Pete-- I'm-- I'm Pete Ivey. What's Up, Pete? Hi, Ms. Banfield. Oh, So You Know This Young Man, Cleatus? He Was Inquiring Of Your Sister.Abouts Pete Was? He's Trying To Find Camie So He Can Ask Her Out Finally. - How'd You Know That? - Dude, I'm Your Best Friend. I Pay Attention To Your Neurotic Ramblings. Oh, Here We Are. Pete Ivey, Check. - Thank You. - Okay. ( Sneezes ) Oh! Is That Brain? ( Gags) - ( Marching Band Stops ) - ( Students Cheering ) Tommy Thompson. Testing One, Two, Three. - Rooster Basketball... - ( Marching Band Playing ) Hey, Poole, You Better Get Your Tailfeathers Out On The Court. ( Chuckles ) "Tailfeathers." That's A Funny One, Skylar. ( Cheering, Shouting ) Camie! Hey! Hey-- Cheerleaders: Ready, Okay! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! - Hey, Jamie, What Up? - Beat It, Poole. You're Gross. - ( Gasps ) - Cheerleaders: ...Cluck, Cluck, Cock-A-Doodle... Seriously, Leave Or I'll Have The Wrestling Hurt You Again! Okay. All Right. So I Will See You Later. ( Cheering, Yelling ) - Hey, Sis, How's It-- - Move It, Poole! Oh! Ouch! ( Sneezes ) Camie! Hey! Hey, Pete, What Are You Doing Here? Oh, Me? Oh, I'm-- Well, I'm Here, 'Cause Um-- Well, I Had Something That I Wanted To Tell You. Well, It's, Kind Of More Of A-- A Question. Okay, Shoot. I'm Kind Of In A Hurry. Yeah. Y-Yeah. Um-- Well, I Was-- I Was Wondering If-- If You-- If You Would Go-- ( Mocking ) If-- You-- Would-- Who Is This Guy? Does He Even Go To This School? That's Just Pete. He's My Brother's Best Friend. Don't Care. ( Cooing ) Gonna Score 20 Points Today For You, Sweet Thing. ( Giggles ) - Bye-Bye, Pete. - ( Grunts ) See Ya! ( Groans ) Isn't Dill Awesome? Yeah. Yeah, Dill Is The-- The Aweseome-Ist. All Right, Well, I'll See You At The Game. See You At The Game. Loser. Had Enough Yet? Let's Get Out Of Here. ( Sighs ) ( Sneezes ) Cheerleaders: ...Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! ( Marching Band Playing ) - What Up, Coach? - Jam, Take The Gum Out. Let's Go. Get In Here. Jam, Tie Your Shoes. Let's Get It In Here! Come On! - Hey, Pete, How'd It Go With My Sister? - I Dry Heaved. Ball, Please. Thank You. Okay, We Have A Simple Goal For Tonight, Okay? We're Gonna Score More Than Seven Points. Oh, And Camie Seems To Really Enjoy Kissing Dill. Uh, Yeah, Pete. I Could Have Told You That. Dude's Always Over At My House. I Think He's Stealing My Mini Cologne Samples. Why Didn't You Tell Me Your Sister Was Dating The Captain Of The Basketball Team? Pete, Chill, Dude. Listen, I'll Level With You. Okay, I Didn't Tell You About Dill Because-- Because I Wanted You To Grow, Man, Experience New Things. I Mean, Just Building The Courage To Choke Out A Few Words To My Sister Took Guts, Major Guts, Man. I'm Really Proud Of You. Really? Thanks, Poole. - I Appreciate That-- - ( Cackling ) Nah, Dude. I'm Just Messing With You, Dude. It Just Slipped My Mind. ( Clears Throat ) ( Sneezes ) Hey, Son. Hi, Dad. What's Wrong, Son? Look A Little Down. Yeah. Just Got Some Things Going On. Woman Trouble? Well, Yeah. I Kinda Missed My Chance With A Girl I Like. Got Beat To The Punch, Huh? By The Captain Of The Basketball Team. Thing Is, Pete, If You Want To Get Noticed By Girls, You Gotta Give Them Something To Notice. Like When You Were A Kid, You Were Into Gymnastics. That Got You Noticed. Yeah, Everyone Thought I Was Weird. Okay, Bad Example. But, See, My Point Is, This Guy Plays Basketball. That Gets Noticed. Your Mother Didn't Even Know I Existed Until I Did Something Bold. I Got A Motorcycle. And Pulling Out Of The Dealership, He Rode Off The Sidewalk And Fell Over. I Have Poor Balance. ( Snickers ) Your Father Broke Nearly Every Bone In His Body. - Shake A Tailfeather, We Got 45 Minutes To Tip-Off. - Come On, Pete. - I'm Not Going To The Game. - What Did Your Son Just Say? Why Bother? Brewster Hasn't Won A Game Since Like Early Last Season. - Pete, If This Is Some Sort Of Teenage Acting Out - ( Door Opens, Bell Jingles ) Against Your Parents, We Kindly Ask You - To Leave Rooster Nation Out Of It. - Yes. - Hello, Cleatus. - Hola, Leon. ( Sneezes ) Oh. Sounds Like You Got A Cold. It's Allergies, But That's A Strong Guess. Doris... ( Whispers ) What's Up? Our Names Haven't Changed, Cleatus. We're Still Mr. And Mrs. Ivey To You. - That's Right. - Hey, Wait A Minute, Shouldn't You Be Heading To The Game By Now? Yes. Yes, I Should. Well, Come On, Roosters, Let's Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! ( Squawking ) We'll Do That. That's Where We're Going. - Poole, What's Up? - Dude, I Need You To Do Me A Solid. - Okay. - ( Door Closes, Bell Jingles ) Yeah, I'm Gonna Need You To Go Ahead And Be The Chicken Tonight At The Game. And I Need To Borrow Like 500 Bucks. What?! No! I Thought You Said That You Were My Best Friend. Okay, No Worries About The Money And No Hard Feelings About Filling In For Me Today. I'm Not Gonna Be The Chicken! What Is Going On? Pete, This Isn't Easy For Me To Admit. Okay? Okay... I'm Dying. ( Snickers ) - You're Not Serious. - Yes, Pete, I'm Serious. I'm Dying Inside Of This Foam Chicken Head. - Idiot. - Dude, It's My Allergies, Man. Okay, They've Never Been This Bad. I Mean, Principal Daly Got A New Chicken Head For My Costume. ( Sneezes ) He Thought The Bright New Colors - Would Boost School Spirit, And It's A Fine Plan, Right? - Yeah. I Mean, I'm Probably Gonna Be The First Person In History To Sneeze To Death. Then Quit. You Hate Being The Chicken. Pete, You Know I Can't Do That. Okay, It's My Family Legacy. - Don't Go For The Wallet-- - Yes, I'm Going For The Wallet, Pete. - I've Seen This-- - Pete, You Made Me Do It. Me. My Dad. My Uncle. My Other Uncle I Think That's My Aunt. My Granddad. Pete, You're Gonna Have To Do This For The Grandkids. I Don't Even Know What Makes You Think I Can Be The Chicken. I Practically Blacked Out Saying Hi To Your Sister. Okay, Pete, You Know What? That's A Sound Argument. I Really Don't Want To Get Into It. Maybe I Came And Asked The Wrong Guy. - ( Bell Jingles ) - Okay, Pete, If You Don't Want To Do It, I Guess I'll Just Go Talk To Keith Burke. You Know He Said He Would Pay Me To Let Him Wear The Chicken Suit. I Mean, The Guy Knows It's A Chick Magnet. - Wait. Wait A Second. - No, Pete, That's Too Bad. I Was Even Gonna Offer To Put In A Good Word To Camie For You. You Know, Her And Dill Are Barely Hanging On By A Thread. - Are You Serious? - Yeah. And I Know Little Sis Listens To Big Bro. I Mean, Come On, Pete. I Was Gonna Say A Few Choice Words On Your Behalf. Just Think About That. "Pete 'N' Camie." That's Catchy. Now It's Gonna Be "The Burkemeister 'N' Camie." It's Tragic. Poole, I Don't Even-- I Don't Know The Routine. Pete, Here's The Routine-- Ya Walk Around, Ya Flap Your Wings. Make Sure You Get In All The School Yearbook Pictures. Dude, I Don't Know. I'm An Awful Mascot. Man. Listen, I Heard At Mascot Camp They Make A Hypoallergenic Head For Like 1,000 Bucks. Dude, I'll Look Into That. But For Now, Can You Hook A Buddy Up? You Know, Poole, It's Not Exactly My Thing To Make A Clown Out Of Myself In Public. I-- I Usually Leave That To You. I Mean, What If Somebody Finds Out It's Me? Pete, Dude, I Need This To Be A Secret More Than You Do. Oh, Man. Come On, Man. Tommy: Yes, Rooster Fans, Another Big Game Today - As The Armadillos-- 18 Wins And Two Losses-- - ( Cheering ) Take On Your Own Ragin' Roosters, Who Are Zero For 20. It's Gonna Be Tough For The Roosters To Beat A Team Of This Caliber. And Here We Go! Whoo! ( Fanfare Music Playing ) Cheerleaders: Ready, Okay! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! So Are We Gonna Beat Those Armadillos Tonight? Cock-A-Doodle-Doo! Whoo! ( All Cheering ) Let's Go, Roosters! - Still Got It. - You Were The Best Chicken We Ever Had. Yeah, Well, I Think My Boy Cleatus Has Got What It Takes To Outshine Even Me. I'm Not A Loser. I'm Not A Loser-- Coach. Coach. We're On Air. Oh... - Tommy: To Tip-Off We Go. - ( Whistle Blows ) And The Ball Is Controlled By The Armadillos Downcourt. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Armadillos Score! - ( Crowd Moans ) - I'm Open. - Tommy: And It's Picked Off. - Oh! - ( Groaning, Shouting ) - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Coach: How Many Times Do I Have To Say-- - Worst In The Entire State! Hey! Put Me In! I Can Win A Jump Ball. ( Clucks ) That's Right, Dill Pickle, I'm Talking To You! I Told You Jam Can't Inbound! I Should Just... Inbound To Myself! Okay, Dill, Inbound To Yourself. Come On, Let's Go, Guys! - ( All Shouting ) - Announcer: It's Taken Away Again - By The Armadillos! - Please, Don't! Don't! - ( Crowd Groans ) - ( Buzzer Sounds ) Another Score By The Armadillos! Come On! Dill, Live Up To Your Hair! Okay? If I Had Hair Like That, There's No Telling What I Could Do. ( Sputtering ) ( Grunts ) Man! ( Grunts ) ( Moans ) - ( Cheering ) - Back On D! Back On D! Back On D! Back On D! Back On D! Okay, Let's Go, Let's Go! Oh! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - That Means You Stop Them From Scoring. ( Cheering ) Let's Get This Over With. No One Knows It's Me. Just Walk Around, Flap Your Wings, Be Generally Annoying Like Poole For A Couple Of Hours And Go Home. ( Grunts ) - Oh, Stupid Tail. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) Whoa! Oh. What's Up? All Right, Here We Go. - Hey, It's The Chicken! That's My Boy! - He Looks Good. - Get This Over With. - Go, Dill! This One's For You, Baby. Tommy: It's Taken Away Again! Smooth, Dill. Okay, Let's Go, Here. Let's Go! Come On! Come On! Oh, There We Go. Back On Defense. Getting Tired? I Am Just Watching. ( Buzzer Sounds ) Let's Go, Roosters! Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! ( Whistle Blows ) ( Crowd Groans ) Whoa! - ( Grunts ) - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Oh, Yeah, Very Funny. - ( Laughing ) Ouch. These People Are Harsh. ( Whistle Blows ) - ( Whistle Blows ) - There You Go. - Go. - Jam, Pass The Ball, Pass The Ball, Pass The Ball. Pa-- Time Out, Please. - ( Whistle Blows ) - Thank You. - ( Clucking ) - ( Girls Giggling ) - All Right! - Whoo! Forget It. Sorry, Poole, I'm Out Of Here. I Still Got A Little Pride Left. - ( Cheering, Shouting ) - ( Whistle Blows ) Cheerleader: All Right, Roosters! ( All Laughing ) I Hope Cleatus Is All Right. Oh, He's Fine. He's All Right. He's Got Padding Under Those Feathers, Right? Jack: Well, No, No. The School Didn't Spring For The Deluxe Model With Buttpads. So, Uh, Hey! You're Okay, Son! Shake It Off, Let's Go! - Cheerleaders: Okay, It's All Right, It's Okay. - ( Clucking ) We're Gonna Rule The Roost Someday! - Whoo! - What Happened? - ( Groans ) - Ready, Okay! - It's All Right, It's Okay... - ( Cheerleaders Echoing ) - It's All Right, It's Okay... - Oh. I'm Giving Them Something To Notice. - ...It's Okay... - Finally Got Your Attention, Okay. - Keep Watching. - ( Whistle Blowing ) ( Cheering ) ( Clucking ) ( All Laughing ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Clucking ) ( Clucking ) ( All Laughing ) Go, Rooster! Come On! Good D, Good D, Good D! Come On! ( All Laughing ) There We Go, There We Go! No, No, No! - ( Shouting ) - ( All Laughing Loudly ) Let's Go! Three! Three! ( Muttering ) Ah, Here We Go Again! Go Ahead! Just Go Ahead! Come On, Get Back, Get Back! Back, Back, Back, Back, Back, Back! - Come On! No! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Screams ) - Poole! Poole. - ( Clucking ) Just-- Okay. - ( Clucking ) - Don't-- Just Stop That. - Just Stop It, Stop It! - ( Clucking Rapidly ) Stop It, Stop It! Okay! Okay, That's It. That's It. - Get Off The Court! - ( Squeals ) - ( Whistle Blows ) - What? - Technical Foul. - What? - Did You See The Chicken Was On The-- - ( Whistle Blows ) - What Are You-- Come On! - You're Out Of Here! - ( All Laughing ) - There's A Giant Chicken! - You're Out Of Here! - Oh, Come On! - You're Out Of Here! - That's Ridiculous! ( Clucking ) ( Sputtering, Backfiring ) - Pete. - Hey. - How'd It Go? - Good, I Guess. You Might Want To Dry-Clean The Chicken. I Fell A Lot. ( Sneezing ) - I Guess Dry-Cleaning Expenses Can Be On Me. - Yeah. Okay, Thanks, Pete. And Rest Assured, Operation "Make Camie Fall In Love With Pete" Will Commence Tonight. All Right. Just Keep Me Posted. - Right. Good Night. - Good Night. Hey, Pete. Thanks. I Know You Must Have Hated Being The Chicken. ( School Bell Rings ) So, Pete, The Chicken Worked Good, Huh? - Nice One, Poole. - Wasn't So Bad. - Girl: Hey, Poole. - Good Work, Chicken. Thanks. - Whoa, Dude. - Boy: Good Job, Man. I Guess The Game Went Good, Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I Think It Went All Right. I Want Poole Expelled! He's A Menace! Hanging From The Girders, Teasing The Officials. It's Not Funny And It's Not Safe. He Made A Mockery Of The Team! Seems To Me The Did A Pretty Good Job Of That All By Itself. - ( Chuckles ) - Oh That's Nice, Fred. That's Great. Thank You For That. You Know, I Would Never Say Something Like That To You. - I'm Sorry, Coach, I'm Sorry. - ( Phones Ringing ) But Your Is Just Not Good. I Don't Know Whether It's Because The Athletes Are All Horrible Or Because You Need More Practice Being A Coach, But Let Me Put It This Way-- Right Now, That Chicken Has Greater Job Security Than You Do. ( School Bell Rings ) What Up, Fellas? Good Game Friday Night! Wow, Poole. You Got Some Guts. - Right, Boys? - Mm-Hmm. Thanks, Dell. Guts Kinda Runs In The Family. They Actually Called My Grandpa "Grandpa Guts." You Might Want To Consider A New Career Path, - Because This One Goes Straight To The Frying Pan. - ( Gulps ) That's Funny, Dill-- Frying Pan. Fried Chicken, Get It? - Do You Get It? - Yes, Floyd, I Get It. And I'll Be Going Now. Freeze! Let Him Go. Let Him Go. Let Him Go. Coach, He Made People Laugh At Us. He Belittled Us And You! That's His Job. He's A Mascot. One Feather On His Scrawny Little Head Gets Touched, You Go Three Rounds With Me, Comprende? ( Whispers ) Comprende? Understand. ( Grunts ) Okay. Knew That Was Gonna Happen. Thanks, Coach. I Feel Like They Were Channeling Their Anger At Me Instead Of Each Other. That's Just My Theory. - I Don't Like You, Poole. - Huh? And I Don't Like The Chicken, Get It? - Okay. - I Wish I Could Cut Those Boys Loose, Play Patty-Cake With Your Face, But I'd Lose My Job. And That Is The Only Reason You Are Still Upright. W-What Did I Do That Was So Bad? Oh, Don't Play Dumb With Me, Mop-Top. You Know What You Did Out On That Court And Let's Just Say Some Feelings Were Hurt. And Hurt Feelings... Stink. ( Whimpering ) ( Crying ) ( School Bell Rings ) ( Applauding, Cheering ) ( Giggling ) You Were So Funny Friday Night. I Will Never Have A Wrestler Beat You Up Again. Ah-Ah-Ah! Ahem, Well, It Is Only Fitting That We Have Our Chicken Present - When We Talk About The Rooster Day Celebration. - Hi. I Need Two Volunteers From This Class To Be On The Float Committee. Oh, Come On, Citizens. ( Groans ) Pete Ivey. Hey, Pete. What About You? This Could Be A Great Way To Make A Name For Yourself, Huh? Think About It. I'll Volunteer, Ms. Banfield. Oh, That Would Be Wonderful, Angela. So Then It Is Angela Morrissey And Pete Ivey On The Float Committee, The Two New Kids In School. That Is Perfect. I Didn't Realize You Were A New Kid In School. - I'm Not. She-- - Save It For The Float Committee! Okay. Poole: Okay, All Right, Guys. One More Time. Cock-A-Doodle-Doo! Power To The Poultry. - ( Cheering ) - All Right. Yo, Pete! I'm Sorry, Guys, I Gotta Run. But There Will Be Another Show Later. - When, Later? - Huh? How About Later After School? You And Me? - So What Do You Say? - Yes, Please. ( Giggles ) Okay, Did Everybody See That? - Okay, Everyone. Let's Get Started. - Sorry I'm Late. I-- I Just Got Lost Again. There's Just So Much You Gotta Learn With A New School. Put A Dollar In The Late Jar. Good, So We Have Bob's Uncle's Tractor To Pull The Float. Let's See, What Else? - The Next Order Of Business... - Here, I Gotcha. Thanks, I'll Pay You Back. Maybe We Can Build A Big Rocket Ship And Paint Something On It, Like, I Dunno, "Go Roosters." Really? A Rocket Ship? That's The Best You Got? Rocket Ship? I'm Outta Here. Good Luck Without Me. It Was Just My First Idea. - What Else You Got? - Uh... Space Shuttle. - Hey, Listen Up. Angela's Got An Idea. - ( Door Closes ) Well, I Don't-- I Don't Want To Be Pushy Or Anything-- No, Hey, It's Wide Open. What's Up? Come On. Uh... Well... Um... Okay, Well-- Well, It Seems To Me Everyone Likes The Chicken, So... Why Don't We Try To Use Him Somehow? - I Like It. - Girl: Any Specific Idea? Put The Chicken On A Rocket Ship! ( Sighs ) Anyone Besides Bob Got An Idea? Angela! Angela, Hey! - Hey! - Hey, Your Idea Was Awesome In There. - Oh, Thanks. - Yeah. You're, Uh, Peter, Right? Yeah, Pete. That's The Name. Oh, Don't Worry. I'll Definitely Give You Your Dollar Back Tomorrow. Oh, Keep It. I've Got Like 20 More Where That Came From. ( Giggles ) Good. Hey, You Want A Ride Home? My Car's Just Right There. Oh, No, No, Thanks. I'm Gonna Walk. It's Kinda My Exercise For The Day, But Thanks. Really. I Like To Walk, Yeah. - Good For The Lungs, Right? - Yes, That It Is. I'll Walk With You. Don't You Have A Car? Well, Yeah. Yeah, But It's So Bad For The Environment. - Right. - I Was Thinking About Donating It To A-- - Like A Foundation. - Oh. Oh, Yeah? - Yeah. - Well, My Boyfriend Back In Houston, He Volunteers For A Nursing Home. They're Always Looking For Donations. Well, I Will-- I Will Strongly Consider Donating My Car To-- To Your Boyfriend. Cool. Yep. Um, Well, Uh-- I-- I--- I Better Go. So Bye, Pete. Bye. - Poultry In Motion, Right? - Cleatus! ( Giggling ) Poole: Cock-A-Doodle-Doo! ( Crickets Chirping ) ( Tv Chattering ) Here You Go. - ( Door Opens, Bell Jingles ) - I'm Not Hungry, Mom. - Yeah, - Poole? - What's Up? - What Are You Doing Here? Listen, Partner, We Gotta Talk. I Need To Know What You Did At The Game Friday. - I Don't Know, I Just Improvised. - Improvised? Like How, Pete? I Mean, Did Ya-- Did You Use Props, Catchphrases? Can You Please Just Give Me Some Details? I Don't Know. I Followed The Coach Around A Little Bit. - I Made Fun Of Him. - That Explains A Lot. I Got In The Other Team's Huddle. - That Got A Big Laugh. - Pete, You Do Realize That You Broke All Of The Mascot Rules, Right? I'm-- I'm Sorry. I Just Went With It. I've Never Acted Like That Before. It's Cool, Man. I Really Don't Care. The Important Thing Is I Might Be Kissing Jamie Wynn - By Week's End. - Yeah... All 'Cause Of Me. Don't Think This Is Going Unrewarded, Okay? I Mean, Um, Camie Was Just Asking Me About You. Whatever. Camie's Not Into Me. ( Gagging ) Really? Why Did She Ask If You Get Sweaty Palms When You Hold Hands With A Girl,Eh? - Why'd She Ask That, Pete? - ( Grunts ) - Really? - Mm-Hmm. What'd You Say? I Mean, I Do Sometimes, But It Depends. - No, Man, I'm Just Kidding. - ( Groans ) She Actually Hasn't Asked That Yet. But, Pete... I'm Prepared To Defend All Of Your Flaws. Okay, Here's The Deal: I Need You To Teach Me The Routine. All I Remember Is Everybody Was Staring At Me. And Then, I Don't Know, Something Clicked. Clicked? Pete, I Need Specifics. You Realize That I Will Probably Never Be This Popular Ever Again In My Life. I Know, Even Angela Morrissey's A Fan. - Morrissey's A Fan? - Yeah. Sweet. Okay, Pete. What Is It? I Mean, You Want To Be A Friend, A Best Friend? 'Cause That's What I'm Telling People That We Are. All Right, I'll Show You Some Moves. Perfect. Oh My Goodness, Pete. I'm A Genius. You're Gonna Be The Chicken Tomorrow. And I'll Be In The Stands Watching You Do What You Do. And You Can Count It. That'll Work. People See You In The Stands, They Know You're Not In The Suit. Pete, I'm Not Stupid, Man. That Base Will Be Covered. - Poole? - Hmm? Your Helmet's Backwards. - I Knew My Helmet Was Backwards-- - Just Looking Out For Ya. It's Gonna Be Fine, Pete. Okay? - ( Cheering ) - ( Fanfare ) Okay, Chicklets, It's A Whole New Ballgame. Now, Let's Get Out There And Show Those Dolphins What Roosters Are Made Of! Feathers And A Beak! Whoo! Okay. Get Your Hands In Here. ( All Clucking ) ( Cheering ) Tommy: And It's The Chicken. Okay, Let's Go. Way To Start Strong. I Like Where Your Head's At. - Got A Good Feeling About Today. - ( Cheering ) Yeah, Dill! Go, Dill! Dill, Ball! Hello There. Tommy Thompson With Rooster Basketball. 14 And Four Dolphins Coming In To Play Your Very Own - Raging Roosters, Who Are Zero For... - Let's Bring It In. ...21 In The Loss Column. Okay, Guys, Ready? Defense, Take Care Of The Ball. Defense, Take Care Of The Ball. Hands In, Here We Go. - ( Team Clucking ) - ( Chicken Clucking ) - ( All Laughing ) - ( Clucking Quizzically ) ( Clucking ) Roosters! - Tommy: It's The Opening Tip-Off. - ( Whistle Blows ) And The Game's Underway Downcourt. - And It's By The Dolphins. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) Okay! That's Okay! - Come On, Roosters! - Let's Go! - ( Cheering ) - You Guys Can Do It! Let's Go, Boys, Whoo! I'm Going All The Way. - Watch Out! - Whoa! Head Up-- ( All Shouting, Screaming ) - ( Whistle Blows ) - ( All Laughing ) Come On, Coach. They Just Scored Two Baskets - While You're Flirting With The Chicken. - ( Chicken Clucking ) - Get Out There, They Need Some Coaching. - ( Smooches ) - That's My Chicken. - Coach: Get Up. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Get Up! - ( Squealing, Squawking ) - He Started It. I Don't Care Who Started It. - Go. - Whatever. ( Buzzer Sounds ) Time Out! Get In Here! - Referee: Time Out! - In Here. You-- S-- ( Grunts ) And You-- ( Mutters ) Oh, And You-- I Just Can't... Stand It. ( Muttering, Grunting ) ( Hissing ) ( Grunting ) ( Clucking Angrily ) Roosters! Way To Go, Boys! - Hi, Cleatus. - Hi, Cleatus. ( Squawks ) - ( Giggles ) - Angela Morrissey, You're Looking Cuter Every Day. - Come Here. - Oh-Ee-Oh-Ee-Oh! ( Clucking ) - ( Giggling ) - ( All Laughing ) Referee: In Ball! Go, Go, Go, Go! ( All Cheering ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) Yes, That's Exactly What I Meant! That's My Chicken! Cleatus! Cleatus! Cleatus! Cleatus! Okay, Okay! - ( Giggling ) - Cleatus, Are You Crazy? What Are You Doing? ( Clucking ) It Was Sweet Of You To Pick Me To Run Away With. ( Clucks Shyly ) Crowd: Chicken! Chicken! - Chicken! - Bawk? I Think Your Fans Are Calling. ( Clucking ) Well, I Should Get Back To My Cheering. ( Clucks ) ( Clucking Softly ) Well, Thank You. ( Crowd Cheering ) ( Backfiring, Sputtering ) Pete! Dude, You Were Amazing! You Know, Now I Know Why Everybody Loves Me. ( Chuckles ) Anyways, I Gotta Run. I Got A Date With Jamie. - Isn't This Great? - Yeah, For You. Everyone Still Thinks You're The Chicken. I'm Just Boring Old Pete Ivey. Monday Morning I'm Gonna Be The Kid In The Back Of The Room Nobody Knows. Okay, Pete. I Mean, Maybe You're Right. You Should Be Getting More Out Of This Than All The Groundwork I've Been Laying Down With My Sister. - ( Laughs ) - Trust Me, Pete. - Dude, She's Coming Around. - I'm Sure She Is. Here's What We're Gonna Do. You're Gonna Be The Chicken Full-Time. All Right. What-- What Are You-- What Do You Mean, Full-Time? What About That Allergy-Proof Chicken Head Or Whatever? ( Stammers ) The Financing Dried Up. You Know, The Pta Shot Down Principal Daly's Request For The Thousand Bucks, Something About Fire Extinguishers Being A Better Resource Of-- I Don't Know. It's Politics, Man. Say, Poole, Does This... Custom-Built Hypoallergenic Head Really Even Exist? Yea-- No. ( Laughing ) No, Pete. No, It Doesn't. Why Do I Ever Believe Anything You Ever Say Anymore? Because We're Best Friends. Now, Pete, Are You In Or Are You Out? Well... I Don't Know. I'm Just Not Sure About Being The Chicken Full-Time. Well, I Mean, If People Were To Find Out That It Was Just Boring Old Pete Ivey In The Suit, They'd Expect Me To Be This... Hey-Check-Me-Out- I'm-Crazy Kinda Guy All The Time. And It's Not Me. That's You. Okay, Pete, I Don't Ever Recall Saying That We Could Let People In On Our Little Secret Here. Oh. Oh, So I Keep Being The Chicken, - You Keep Getting The Credit? - Yeah. - What?! - Pete, It's A Win-Win, Dude. Wait. Wait, Wait, Wait. How Is It A Win-Win? Uh, Simple. I Get The Benefit Of Fame, The Poole Family Tradition Lives On. Let's Not Forget About Jamie. And You-- You Get To Have Fun In A Chicken Suit. Pete, It Doesn't Get Better Than That. - It Is Kinda Fun. - Yeah, It Is. I Mean, I'm Kinda Good At It. Good? Pete. Dude, You're Amazing. I Mean, No Poole Has Ever Been This Good. You're A Natural, Baby. You Got All The Moves And Stuff. All Right. Yeah, I'll Do It. - Why Not? - You're Gonna Do It? - Yeah, I'll Do It. - Perfect. I'll Call You. - Cool. - All Right. You're Gonna Do It. - Yeah. - You're My-- You're My Big Chicken. - Why Not? - Okay. ( Door Opens, Closes ) I Want Him Gone, Fred! I Can't Keep My Mind In The Game! The-- The Crowd Isn't Even Looking At The Court Anymore. Excuse Me, Coach-- Something I Remembered I Had To Do. Let's See Here. Roosters Have Scored 24 Points All Season. Their Opponents... Hmm. ( Door Opens, Closes ) Okay, So After This, We Need 14' Of Chicken Wire. - Ah, Chicken Wire. - Mm-Hmm. That Would Be In The Wire Department Under "Chicken." Or Would It Be In The Chicken Department... Both: Under "Wire"? ( Laughing ) So What Did You Hear From Houston? - You Mean My Boyfriend? - Yeah. Well, He Made Captain Of The Debate Team. Oh, Sounds Like A Fun Guy. Yeah. Yeah, He, Uh... - Sure Likes To Argue. - ( Police Radio Chatter ) So, Pete, Um... Cleatus Poole-- He, Uh-- He's A Friend Of Yours, Isn't He? I Mean, Only Since Kindergarten. - Why? - Oh, No Reason. Just-- He, Um, Seems Like An Interesting Person. He's Complex, Isn't He? ( Laughs ) Poole? - Yeah. - I Just Never Really Considered The Concept. Well, I Mean, It's Like By Day, He's Just This, Kind Of Ordinary-- - Really, Really Ordinary... - Yeah, Ordinary. - ...Guy. - You Know, When He's The Chicken... He's Just So... Different. Well, How Different? - What Do You Mean? - I Dunno, He's-- He's Brash And Bold And Daring And He's So Funny. Angela, Are You Saying You're Like, Interested In Poole Because He's The Chicken? - Oh-- - Susie: I Found The Putty. It's A Little Pricey, But Good Putty Is Worth Every Cent. Did You Get Any Twine? Where's The Twine? I Didn't See Twine On The List. Come On, Twine's The Main Thing. You Don't Build A Float Without A Big Old Ball Of Twine. Come On, It's-- It's Back In The Twine Aisle. You Can't Miss It. Thank You. Anyways... Um... Oh, Poole. Oh, It's Nothing, Really. I Mean, He's Got A Girlfriend Anyways, Right? - Right. - And You Have A Boyfriend, - Let's Not Forget That. - Oh. Yeah, Yeah. - Yeah. - Of Course. All Right, Where's That Stupid Chicken Wire? - ( All Cheering ) - Yeah! Jam, Knock It Off! Give Her Pompoms Back Right Now! ( Clucking ) ( Squawking ) Ready, Okay! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! Whoo! Hey, You Wanna Go Somewhere After The Game? - Bawk. - Where? - Bawk? - Come On, Cleatus, Talk To Me. - Bawk Bawk. - We Could Miss The Bus. Have To Find Our Own Way Home... - Bawk? - Cleatus! Cut It Out! What's With The Silent Treatment? I Bet I Know. Poole's Not In There. - Bawk! - ( Laughs ) - ( Clucking Nervously ) - Of Course It's Poole. - It Is You, Isn't It? - Bawk! See? What Are You Getting At, Dill? Does Anybody Remember Poole Being This Funny? - ( Chattering ) - No. It's Only The Last Couple Of Games He's Come Alive. And You Don't Just Wake Up One Day And Be Funny. Whatever. Of Course It's Poole. Well Then, There Shouldn't Be A Problem To Check And Make Sure. ( Clucking Nervously ) ( Sneezes ) Whoo! It Was Poole. Told Ya! ( All Laugh ) Don't Scare Me Like That. Okay? Okay. Ready, Okay! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! Last Time! Throw 'Em In The Muck! Cluck, Cluck, Cluck! - Cock-A-Doodle-Do It-- - Ewww! Cleatus! My Hair! ( Chattering ) - Bawk! - What's The Matter, Cleatus? - What Are You Doing? - ( Clucks ) Oh, All Right. See You On The Court. Bawk. Pete! - Pete? - ( Singing ) Pete! Pete, Where Are You? Do I Need To-- Bawk! - ( Chanting ) Chicken! Chicken! - ( Marching Band Playing ) Okay, Let's Bring It In! Let's Bring It In! Wow. We Haven't Had A Crowd This Big Since We Won Two In A Row In '86. Huh? You Say Something, Coach? Yes, I Was Just Saying That We Have A Lot Of Paying Customers, Okay? So Let's Give 'Em Something To Cheer About! But They Didn't Come For Us, Coach. They Came Because Of... That Stupid Chicken! Yeah, I Wouldn't Pay To Watch Us Play. We Stink. ( Clucks ) Let's See If This Helps. - ( Clucking ) - ( Cheering ) All Right, All Right. Let's Get In Here. Come On, Ready? - ( Clucking ) Roosters! - Let's Go! Whoo! ( Whistle Blows ) No, No, Don't Do It, No. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - ( Cheering ) - ( Whistle Blows ) - Foul! - Foul! - Thank You, Good Call! - Cheerleaders: Go, Roosters! - ( Clucking ) - Let's Go, Dill. - Fans: Let's Go, Dill! - Bawk Bawk, Bawk! - Fans: Let's Go, Dill! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Yes! - I Did It! - ( Clucking ) - ( Fans Chanting ) Let's Go, Dill! - Coach: Let's Go, Dill! Bawk Bawk, Bawk Bawk Bawk! Let's Go, Dill! Let's Go, Dill! - ( Clucking ) - ( Cheering ) We Are Not Losers! We Are Not Losers! We're Not Losers! - All Right! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) No, No! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - ( Cheering ) Pass The Ball! Pass The Ball! Pass The Ball! Pass The Ball! Bawk! Aw! I Call A Time Out, Thank You. - ( Whistle Blows ) - ( Cheering ) - ( Cheering ) - ( Clucking ) Funniest Chicken We Ever Had! Coming Atcha! ( Clucking ) ( Cheering ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Cheerleaders Cheering ) ( Playing Out Of Tune ) Yes! We Scored 20! We Scored 20! That Was More Than We Had All Last Season! Whoo! ( Cheering ) ( Voices Echoing ) Whoa! - ( Screaming ) - ( Grunts ) ( Clucks ) - Thanks A Lot, Cleatus! - ( Clucking ) I Don't Think So. Ooh, Poole's Gonna Hear About This. ( Blubbering ) I'm Gonna Hear About This. Ow! Gosh, Pete, Watch It. - You Made Me Poke My Eye! - You Watch It. It's Not Easy Getting Out Of This Thing. Hey, Man. What's With You Saving Angela Out There? You Should've Saved Jamie! What Were You Thinking? You Know, Pete, You Weren't Thinking Is What You Were Doing. You Need To Get Your Head In The Game. It's Hard Out There, Poole. You're Reaping All The Benefits. I'm Out There In The Trenches, Man. Pete! I'm In The Trenches Too! Do Not Underestimate The Job Of Me Promoting You To My Sister, Okay? It's Subtle Yet Consistent. Seriously, I Should Probably Get Into Marketing When I Get Older. You Know What? No Offense To Your Sister, But I'm Over Her Now. Okay, Good, 'Cause She Wasn't Taking The Bait. I Think I Like Angela. Angela Likes The Chicken. If She Only Knew It Was Really Me-- Okay, Pete, Stop Talking Right Now. We Obviously Both Know You Can't Tell Her. I Understand This Whole Dual Identity Thing - Can Be Really Difficult On You. - Yeah. But Guess Who Else Has To Deal With It, Pete. - Superman. - Yeah, Well It's Lame Being Clark Kent - When Superman's The Only One That Gets Noticed. - But Clark Never Complains. - Oh, My-- - Angela: Cleatus? - Cleatus, Is That You? - We Had A Deal. There's No Backing Out. - Fine. - Fine. - Cleatus, Is That You? - Hey. - Hi. - ( Laughs ) Yeah, The Closet. - Right. - I Change In There Sometimes. I Know It's Weird. I'm, Uh... Kind Of A Shy Guy. Oh, That's Okay. I Like Shy Guys. Really? Good. 'Cause I'm Shy. - ( Laughing ) - You Just Mentioned That. - I Did. - Yeah. Look, I Just Wanted To Thank You For, You Know, Out There. You Saved Me From Getting Trampled. - I Saved You From-- That's Right, I Saved You. - Uh-Huh. Yeah, That's Pretty Sweet Of Me. You Know, This May Sound Kind Of Funny, - But You're Sort Of A-- - Superhero. - Yeah, I Know. - --Sensitive Guy, I Was Gonna Say. Yeah-- Well, Superman's A Sensitive Guy Too. Right, Of Course. You Want To Know Something Else About Superman? Sure. When He Makes A Deal With His Best Friend, He Doesn't Back Out. Oh, Yeah, Superman's Best Friend? Wait, You Mean Jimmy Olsen, The Photographer Guy? - Yeah. See, Superman Kept Promises With Jimmy. - Mm-Hmm. Super Promises! Right. You Know What Else Superman Does? He Saves People In Distress, Like You Did For Me. - So Anyways, Thank You. - Okay. I Guess You Are Kinda My Superhero... Today. ( Grunts, Thuds ) Hey. - Sorry. - Whoa. That-- - It's All Right. - Once Or Twice A Week. It Happened-- - So I'll See You Later. - I'll See You Later. - Yeah. - See Ya... When Later Is. ( School Bell Rings ) Pete. Poole. I Just Remembered, In Fourth Grade, I Lent You A Quarter For A Taco Boat And You Never Paid Me Back. Uh, Okay, Want The Quarter Now? I Wanted It In Fourth Grade, But Now Would Be Fine. Here's Your Quarter. Thank You. ( Rooster Crowing Ringtone Sounds ) Oh, You See That? I-- I Missed A Call. Yeah, I've Been Getting A Lot Of Calls Lately. Oh, Must Be Nice. Hey, Cleatus, It's Your Dad. Hey, You Want To Go Bowling? It's The Old Man. He Wants To Spend Some More Face Time With His Favorite Kid. I Can't Blame Him. My Stock Is Pretty High These Days. Makes Him Feel Good Being Seen With Me In Public. Whatever You Say. Yeah. We've Been Hanging Out A Lot Lately. He's Really Proud Of The Chicken. Or-- I Mean Me. He's Carrying A Picture Of Us In His Wallet Right Now. I Mean, Obviously He Thinks It's Me, But It's Really You-- Pete, I Cannot Take It Anymore! - What's The Matter? - Dude, I'm A Fraud. Okay, My Dad's Walking Around Talking About How Proud He Is Of The Chicken. But It's Really You, Pete. You Know, He's Proud Of You Because You're The Chicken! You Know, If He Knew How Bad Of A Chicken I Really Was, He Would Never Talk To Me Again. Poole, Your Dad Doesn't Care If You're A Good Chicken Or Even If You Are The Chicken. Your Family Loves You No Matter What. - You See, Pete, I Understand That In Theory. - ( Pats ) Trust Me, It's True. You're A Really Good Friend, Pete. I'm Really Sorry That This Whole Thing Has Been Really Hard On You. You Were Right, Though. You Know? We Should Just-- We Should Call It Quits And Let The Cat Out Of The Bag. Whoa, Whoa. What If I'm Not Funny Without The Suit? Come On, Pete. You're A Funny Guy. You Just Have To Let Everybody See That Without Wearing Your Chicken Suit. Come On. - Hey, Everybody! - No! Look, You Know What? Let's Just Keep The Cat In The Bag At Least Until After The Parade. I Mean, What's The Rush, Really? - Right? Your Guilt's Not Going Anywhere. - Yeah, I Guess. Look, I'm Sorry, Poole. I Can't Switch Right Now. Look, I Did You A Favor. Do Me One. - Pete! - What? - What Do We Do With The Twine? - Twine? Who Needs Twine? Have You Seen Angela? I Don't Know Where She Is. No, I Think She Might Have Gone Home Or Something. Well... Angela Organized This Whole Thing. Poole, Take Over. For Real Though, I Have Like A Mile And A Half Of Twine Here. Any Idea? Come On. You Could... Build Something. ( Sputtering ) Angela! - Hi. - Hey. Why Aren't You Building The Float? The Better Question Is How Come You're Not Building The Float? Angela, What's Wrong? - ( Sniffles ) - What Happened? I Got A Text Message Today From Houston. I Got Dumped In A Stupid Text Message, Can You Believe It? Coward. Did You Know That 86% Of All Long- Distance Relationships Are Doomed To Failure? That Sounds High. Yeah, Well, He Attached A Link. I Checked It Out. It's Pretty Accurate. Stupid Debaters. That Must've Been A Pretty Annoying Habit To Deal With. Must Be Lots Of Other Lame Stuff About Him. Uh, I Don't Know. I Don't Want To Rip On The Guy. He Broke Up With You With A Text. - Dude Sleeps With His Rabbit! - Weak. And He Refuses To Eat Anything That's Not Orange. - What A Loser. - And He Dry Heaves A Lot. Well, That's-- That's Kind Of A Clinical Condition. There's Really Not Anything He Can Do About-- Pete? ( Chuckles ) Um... Angela, Have I Ever Dry Heaved Around You? No. And Believe Me, I Would Have Remembered. Yeah, Cool. Well, We Can Talk About Dry Heaving Some More Or We Can Go Build A Float. I Think I'll Go With Building A Float. Me Too. Come On. Car's Right Up Here. I Think I'll Take You Up On That Ride. I Don't Think I Can Make You Walk. ( Marching Band Playing ) - Go Roosters! - ( Parents Chattering ) Can You Believe It, Deputy? All These People Voted For Me. They Didn't All Vote For You, Uncle Lou. It Wasn't Exactly A Landslide. Don't Call Me Uncle Lou. ( Crowd Cheering, Chanting ) ( Whistle Blows ) Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! Whoo! Whoo-Hoo! - ( Pop Music Playing ) - Go, Roosters! Whoo! Go, Roosters! Uh-Oh, Why You Holding Back Now? Don't You Know, It's Time To Let Your Inner Freak Out? - Uh-Oh - Uh-Oh Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Not When The Beat Is Kicki' Like This Does Why Should I Care About The Opinion Of Others? I Don't Want To Spend My Tie Hiding Under The Covers Scared To Let It Loose, Let Myself Go And Just Be Free So I'ma Do What I Do Best, That Means I'ma Do Me Okay, Now, Don't Stop Let It, Let It All Hemmed Up, Come On, Get With It If You Want To Hear It Go, But You Gotta Let It Flow Feels Good, Real Good Don't Be Afraid To Sing It Now Okey Dokey Karaoke, Everybody Get On Down Arms Out, Hands Up Push It Like You Had Enough - Come On, Let Me Hear The Love - Yeah! - Just Let It Loose Now - Everybody Hit The Floor - I Know You Know How - What You Holding Back For? So Let Me Shine On All My People, Now Let's Get To It - Come On, Just Let It Go - 'Cause That's The Way You Gotta Do It I Got My Girls With Me And No Doubt, They Are My Friends Don't Gotta Act Like Someone Else I Don't Have To Pretend Used To Be A Little Shy, Can You Believe It's True? But Then I Learned To Shed My Skin And You Can Do It Too Now, Don't Stop, Let It, Let It All Hemmed Up, Come On, Get With It If You Want To Hear It Go, But You've Got To Let It Flow Feels Good, Real Good Don't Be Afraid To Sing It Now Okey Dokey Karaoke, Everybody Get On Down Arms Out, Hands Up - Push It Like You Had Enough - What? Wait! - Come On, Let Me Hear The Love - Yeah! - Just Let It Loose Now - Everybody Hit The Floor - I Know You Know How - What You Holding Back For? - So Let Me Shine On - Yeah! Come On, People Now, Let's Get To It - Come On, Just Let It Go - 'Cause That's The Way You Gotta Do It. - ( Crowd Gasps, Groans ) - Man: What?! - Girl: Who's The Chicken? - Cleatus? Huh? Who's Uh-- Who Is This Cleatus You Speak Of? I'm Pecos Bill. - What? - But, Cleatus, You're The Chicken. ( Stammering ) But-- But My Son Is The Chicken. Why Isn't He In The Chicken Suit? Jamie: Great. Now I Totally Made Out With Poole For No Reason. Uh-- So Who's The Chicken? Man... Bawk! ( Squawking ) We've Been Bamboozled! Get Him! Man: Get That Chicken! ( Car Horn Blaring ) ( All Shouting ) I Was Hoping It Wasn't Poole. You Went And Dropped Your Hat, Uncle Lou. ( Laughing ) That Was Crazy! Oh, No, No, No, No! Okay! Okay! Jamie! Baby, Listen, This Doesn't Mean We Have To Break Up. Oh-Ho-Ho! We're Breaking Up! - Expect A Visit From The Wrestling Team. - Okay, Will Do. - Let's Get Him Out Of Here. - ( Poole Protesting ) Law Enforcement At Work Here, Folks. ( Siren Wailing ) Poole: Rock, Paper, Scissors. Rock, Paper, Sci-- You Know, It's A Lot More Fun When We Both Play. Hi, Uncle Lou. The Boys Found Your Car, But That Chicken Was Long Gone. - Don't Call Me Uncle Lou. - Why Not? Because People Will Think I Hired You Because We're Related. Let Me Get This Straight. You're The Chicken? - Officially. - Yeah, But Somebody Else Was In The Suit, Right? Oh, You're Both Smart. So Everyone Thought You Were In The Suit, But You Really Weren't. - Exactly. - So... Who Was In The Suit? Come On, Guys. I Cannot Tell You. We Made A Promise. Son, We're Talking Grand Theft Automobile Here. That's Gta-Mobile. So You Better Start Talking. Mm, Not Until I Get That Root Beer I Asked For, Um... About An Hour Ago. - ( Scoffs ) - Well, Go Get It. Yeah, Uncle Lou. Hey, Jack. - What's Up? - Lou, Can You Give Us A Minute Here? - Sure, Jack. - Thanks. Well, Cleatus, You Know, I Just-- I Wish I Understood Why You Did It. Dad, You Know What? I'm Allergic To The Chicken Suit, Okay? I Mean, Every Time I Put The Thing On, I Go Into A Sneezing Fit And My Body Gets All Itchy. I Mean, I Didn't Want To Quit. I Think The Main Thing Is-- Is That-- - I Just Didn't Want To Let You Down. - Yeah, Yeah. Let Me Tell You Something, Cleatus. I Was Allergic To The Chicken Suit Too. ( Chuckles ) Yeah. I Know. It's-- It Was Rough. I-- My Sinuses Got All Stuffed Up. My Eyes Watered. My Fingers Swelled Up Like Hot Dogs. I Just-- You Know, I Felt Like I Was Itching My Way Through High School. ( Sighs ) I Didn't Want To Quit Either For The Same Reasons. I'm Proud Of You, Cleatus. You Had The Guts To... Fly The Coop Like I Should Have Done. Thanks, Dad. But I Mean, You're Really Okay With Me Not Being The Chicken? I Know It's The Family Legacy. I'd Rather You Be My Happy Son... Than A Sneezing Chicken Any Day. Thanks, Dad. Uh, Dad? Yeah? - I Think I'm Allergic To Math. - Yeah, I'm Not Gonna Be Okay With That. Okay, Cool. Science? No. ( Panting ) ( Car Horn Honks ) - Hey, Pete. - Hey, Angela. Where Were You? I Didn't See You At The Parade. - Oh No, I Was There. - Oh, Float Turned Out Great, Huh? - Yeah. - Good Work. Aw, I Just Did A Little Sawing And Hammering, Clocked Some Twine Time. ( Laughs ) Hey, How About That Whole Chicken Thing? It's All Anybody Can Talk About. - Who Do You Think It Is? - The Chicken? Yeah. I Don't Know. I Mean, Do You Really Want To Know? No, I-- I Guess Not. I Mean, Yes. Well, I Mean... Do You Want To Know? Yeah. But I'm Afraid Once The Mystery's Over... So Is The Magic. - It's Sure Getting Colder. - Am I Crazy, Pete? - What? - I Think I Was Actually Falling For A Guy In A Chicken Suit. ( Giggles ) - Really? - You Don't Know How Relieved I Was To Find Out It Wasn't Poole. - Oh, Really? - Yeah. Do You Think The Chicken'll Come Back? Probably Not, So Long As Everyone Wants To Know Who's In There. Magic's In The Mystery, Right? You're Right. Wait. No, I'm Right. Okay, We're Both Right. ( Both Laugh ) - Hey, Do You Want A Ride? - No, I'm Just Gonna Walk. It's Kinda My Exercise For The Day. ( Chuckles ) Right. - Bye, Pete. - See Ya. ( Horn Honks ) See That, Pete? We Made The Newspaper. What Are You Doing Here, Poole? Look, Man, I'm Sorry I Got Caught. Dumb, I Know. But, I Mean, We Gotta Talk, Decide What To Do Next. What You Mean Next? I Stole The Sheriff's Car. So? Dude, You Had No Choice. You Were Being Chased By A Mob. You're Legally Allowed To Do Whatever You Want When You're Being Chased By A Mob. - It's In The Constitution. - Tell It To The Sheriff. I, Uh, Already Did. Oh, Great. Did You Tell Him Who I Am? No, Pete. I Was Slippery Like A-- Like An Oiled-Up Watermelon. Okay, Here's What We're Gonna Do. We're Gonna Let The Whole Thing Die, Right? We're Gonna Retire The Chicken And Let The Myth Grow. And Then Maybe At Our 30th Reunion, We Tell Everybody It Was You Who Turned The Chicken Into A Legend. - I Don't Know. - Me Either. ( Marching Band Playing ) Crowd: Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Attaboy, Deputy. - Crowd: Chicken! Chicken! - Ready, Okay! Hey, Roosters! Get To It! We Know You Can Do It! Do You Think He'll Come? I Wouldn't Count On It. Well, Aren't You Just Dying To Know Who He Is? Um... No. Not Really. ...Cock-A-Doodle-Do It. Whoo! Crowd Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Oh, Yeah! Go Roosters! We Rule! - ( Crowd Groaning ) - Man: Come On! Man: We Want The Chicken! - Girl: Oh, Man! - Man: Oh, Where Is He? Man: Let's Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! - Cock-A-Doodle-Doo! Come On, Everybody. - There's The Chicken. Kids, The Chicken Is Back! Whoo! - Oh, The Cops. - Get The Chicken! I Got Him, Uncle Lou. Law Enforcement At Work Here, Folks. - ( Chicken Whimpering ) - Let Me See. - Please, I-- - ( Crowd Gasps ) Wait A Minute. This Isn't The Real Chicken. - It's A Fake. - Sheriff: We Got A Copycat Here. Everyone Stand Down. Repeat, We Have A Copycat. Sorry, Folks. I Couldn't Resist. I Just Wanted Some Attention... - ( Handcuffs Clicking ) - ...And Love. - Come On. - ( Crying ) Janitors. Let's Go! Huddle Up! Well, If There's No Chicken, I'm Gonna Get On Home And Soak My Feet. - Out Of My Way, Dill Pickle. - Watch It. Out Of My-- You-- ( Grumbling ) - Man: Come On, Let's Get Out Of Here! - Come On! Where's Your Spirit? Woman: Let's Go Find The Real Chicken! - Poole. - Tommy: To Tip-Off We Go. ( Whistle Blows ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) Whatever. Come On, Let's Go. - ( Whistle Blows ) - ( Buzzer Sounds ) Frank: Friday Night's Game Was The Biggest Crowd In Rooster Basketball History. For The First 10 Minutes, Anyhow. Seems To Me People Only Come To See The Chicken. Hmmm, You Know, I'm Pretty Sure People Go To Basketball Games To Watch Basketball. But Maybe You're Right, Maybe They Just Want To See A Chicken Act Like A Fool. It's Becoming An Economic Issue, Coach. - ( Groans ) - There's Been A Substantial Increase In The Sale Of Game Tickets. Most Importantly, The Town's Pride Quotient Has Increased Significantly Friday Nights. Now It's A Simple Question: How Can We Get The Chicken To Come Back? Well, I Suspect One Thing On His Mind Is The Little Matter Of The Sheriff's Car. Well, I Spoke To Lou And He's Willing To Drop All Charges. What? That's Not Fair, He Stole The Sheriff's Car! Come On, Corky, Who Here Among Us Has Never Stolen A Sheriff's Car When We Were Young? Huh? Anyhow, The Chicken-- Let's Not Forget The Reason He Stole The Car In The First Place Was To Prevent Himself From Being Unmasked. We Need To Convince That Chicken That If He Shows Up Again, He Won't Be Touched. Well, How Are We Gonna Do That? Ah. ( Feedback ) So Our Objective Is To Get The Chicken Back. We're Certain That He Is Here Among You At This Very Moment. Whoever You Are, We Want To Assure You That All Vehicular Theft Charges Have Been Dropped And That No One Will Expose You. Whoever Even Tries, Will Be Given Double Permanent Suspension. And Endure Eternal Misfortune Which I Will Personally Inflict! Coach Mackey Speaks For All Of Us. We Need You Back, Chicken. Come Back, You Big Chicken! We Love You! And We Need You. ( Cheering ) I Can't Believe I'm Actually Doing This. I Can't Believe He's Actually Doing This. ( School Bell Rings ) It Can't Be Keith Burke. He's Too Short To Be The Chicken. - What About Bobby Nevin? You Never See Him At Games. - Oh, Yes. Hey, Pete. How's It Going? Good. Good. What Are You Guys Doing? Oh, Just What Everyone Else In School's Doing. Trying To Figure Out Who The Chicken Really Is. - Oh. - Hey! Maybe It's This Pete Ivey Guy, Whoever He Is. Camie: No Way Is Pete Ivey The Chicken. Pete Ivey Is Not Smart Enough, And Pete Ivey Is Not Cool Enough And Pete Ivey Is Not Wild Enough. - I'm Standing Right Here. - Yeah. Angela, Who Do You Think It Is? Uh, I Have No Idea. Maybe Keith Burke? He Seems Like He Could I Guess.Kind Of Guy, That's What I Thought! It's Totally The Burkester. Mm-Hmm. - Bye, Pete. - Bye. ( Police Radio Chatter ) Boy, I Hope The Chicken Shows Up. Oh, Lou, You Mind Leaving The Handcuffs In The Cruiser? Fred, I Will Not Arrest The Chicken Should He Choose To Return. ( Grunts ) We've Been Stood Up Again. I Am Tired Of Looking Like A Fool. - Where's That Chicken That's Supposed To Be-- - Ow! "Oh, The Chicken'll Be Here, You Just Wait." Yeah, We Need The Chicken. ( Crowd Shouting ) - Oh, Boy. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) Why? Why? Why? - Oh, Why? - ( Whistle Blows ) ( Crying ) Stu-- Stupid Chicken! ( Buzzer Sounds ) Pete: What Is That, Suze? We're Gonna Use This Tonight To Signal The Chicken. It's Not Our Best Idea, But We're Desperate. Suze, How's My Rooster Signal? Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy. Best Idea I Ever Had. Good Luck. Personally, I Think The Chicken Has A Better Chance Of Seeing That Than This. What Is This? Didn't You Hear? Tommy's Challenging The Chicken To Come On "Rooster Talk" Today And Explain Why He's Called It Quits. Hi, I'm Tommy Thompson And We Have A Very Special Guest On "Rooster Talk" Today. The Pride Of Brewster-- The Chicken. ( Cheering ) ( Giggling ) ( Electronic Voice ) Hello, Tommy. Yes, The Chicken's Voice Has Been Electronically Altered To Protect His Identity. Chicken, Let's Get Right To It. Why Have You Decided To Hang It Up? Well, Tommy, Because Under These Feathers, I'm Not Really Mascot Material, Just An Average Guy. - I Love You, Chicken! - ( All Laughing ) I Think That Proves You're Anything But Average. - You're The Sparkplug Of Our School. - ( Clucks ) You're The Spirit Of The Whole Town. That's A Lot To Live Up To. Well, Seeing How As How The Roosters' Last Remaining Game Is Against The Mountain Lions, Number One In The League, It's Going To Be Tough To Avoid A Shutout Season Without The Chicken. I Think They Can Do It! Right? Let's Bring Out Someone Who Believes They Can't Win Without You. Coach Mackey! - ( Cheering ) - Boy: Yeah, Coach! Coach, You Think You Can't Win - Without The Chicken? - Bawk. I Am Positive We Can't Win Without The Chicken. - Bawk? - I Love The Show, By The Way. I'm A Big Fan. If I Can Get A Picture With You Afterwards, - That Be Kinda-- Kinda-- - ( Clucking ) Ah. - Chicken? - Bawk? Just Hear Me Out, Okay? Look, If You Come Back, I Promise... I Won't Throw My Clipboard At You Anymore. And-- And-- You Can Break Through The Big Paper Sign Before The Game. - ( Clucking ) - Huh? What Do You Say? Give Me A Wing? - ( Clucking ) - Oh, Come Here, You Big Lug. All: Awww! ( Applauding ) - ( Blubbering ) - Bawk? So I Guess This Means The Chicken Will Be At The Big Game Friday? I'll Be At The Game, But I'll Be In The Stands With All The Other Students. ( Crowd Groans ) Tommy: Well, If This Is Gone For Good For The Chicken... Can We At Least Know Who The Man Is Behind The Chicken Suit? Let Me Answer That With Another Question. Why Doesn't The Lone Ranger Take Off His Mask? I Give Up. Why? 'Cause The Magic's In The Mystery. Once You Know, The Mystery's Over, And So Is The Magic. Pete, Dude, We're Back In Business. And Check It Out. I Even Got The Suit Dry-Cleaned. - Great. - Dude, The Chicken's Risen From The Ashes. You Know, Kinda Like The Phoenix. They're Both Birds, Right? I Thought We Agreed We Were Done With That. But Pete, The Chicken's Off The Hook. You Heard What The Coach Said. He Said If You Show Up At The Game, They Won't Arrest You. I Mean, What A Beautiful Country We Live In When A Chicken Can Steal A Sheriff's Car And Run Scot-Free-- I Mean, I'm Just Saying, God Bless America. No, Poole, You Were Right Before. You Know, We Should Just Let This All Die And We Can Have A Good Laugh About It In 30 Years. But, Pete, You Said That You Wanted People To Know That You Were The Chicken. I Mean, You Tried To Tell Everybody At The Rally. - You Were Ready Then. - I'm Not Ready Now. Maybe I'm Never Gonna Be Ready For People To Know It Was Just Boring Old Pete Ivey In The Suit. What Are You Talking About? You're Gonna Be Famous, Man. - People Are Gonna Love You. - Yeah, But What If They Don't? Poole, What If People Stop Liking The Chicken Because They Knew It Was Me? Pete, If That's Seriously What You're Worried About, Then You Need To Look At It Like This, Man: You Can Live Your Whole Life In A Shell... Or You Can Hatch. No Guts, No Glory. Eh, Glory's Overrated Anyhow. Whoa. I Hope You Know What You're Doing, Man. 'Cause You're Letting A Whole Lot Of People Down. This Is Your Fault. ( Team Clucking, Squawking ) All Right! Do You Little Chicklets Believe You Can Beat Those Lions?! Not Without The Chicken, No. What? I'm Being Honest. Even Coach Said It On Tv. Okay Okay. Okay. I'm Saying We Can. And There Are 500 Rooster Fans Out There Who Believe You Can Win Without The Dang Chicken! They're All Just Gonna Leave As Soon As The Chicken Doesn't Show Up. So What? Maybe They Will, But This Is Our Last Game, Men! Do You Want To Go Through Life With The Honor Of Being The Only Winless Team In 46 Years?! - No, Sir! - Is It True We Haven't Won One Single Game? It Is Absolutely True! - Now Do You Believe We Can Beat Them Lions?! - All: Maybe! - I'll Take It! Now Let's Go - ( Marching Band Playing ) Crashing Through That Sign Like Raging Roosters - And Show 'Em Who We Are! - ( All Shouting ) Actually, You Know What? We Should Probably Not Go Through The Sign... In Case The Chicken Shows Up. I Sort Of Promised It To Him. ( Squawking ) - ( Crowd Roaring ) - ( Cheerleaders Cheering ) ( Voice Cracks ) Okay, Let's Do This. Cheerleaders: Whoo! It's The Final Game Of The Year Here In The Big Chicken Coop. Our Very Own Raging Roosters Will Try To Score Their First Victory Of The Season Against The Undefeated 25 And 0 Mountain Lions! Can They Do It? Can They Do It? Our Fans Think They Can Do It. So Let's Do It. ( Pop Music Playing ) - ( Whistle Blows ) - Tommy: To Tip-Off We Go. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - ( Crowd Groans And Cheers ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) Aww! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - ( Groaning Loudly ) Well, It's Been An Interesting Season. - Can't Win 'Em All. - Can't Win One, Actually. ( Whistle Blows ) Come On, Pete. Where Are You? Oh, No, This Is Horrible. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - ( Groaning, Cheering ) No! Dill! Time Out, Time Out, Time Out! - Time Out! - ( Whistle Blows ) Whoo! Go, Roosters! Whoo! Go, Roosters! Jam, Protect The Ball, Okay? Please, Protect The Ball! - Say It With Me. - Both: Protect The Ball. Mackey: You're Killing Me! Okay, Here We Go. Oh, Thank Goodness. This Is It. This It It. Not Pay The Electric Bill? This Is The Best Two Grand The School Ever Spent. Pete: Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! - ( Crowd Cheering ) - Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! Get The Banner. Get The Banner! Well, Here Goes Nothin'. ( Pete Screaming ) Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! - ( Cheering ) - Yes, Finally! Attaboy, Pete! Er-- Duh-- Chicken. I Knew You'd Show Up. ( Giggles ) - Eww! - Sorry, I Ju-- I Was Excited About The Chicken Showing Up. ( Pop Music Playing ) - Yeah! Yeah! - Whoo! No Matter What They Say, I'ma Pick Me The Only Person That I Want To Be I'm Letting Loose, Coming Out Of My Shell I'm Doing Me Because I Do It So Well Arms Out, Hands Up Push It Like You Had Enough - Come On, Let Me Hear The Love - Yeah! - Just Let It Loose Now - Everybody Hit The Floor - I Know You Know How - What You Holding Back For? - So Let Me Shine On - All Right, People, Let's Get To It - Come On, Just Let It Go - That's The Way, You Gotta Do It Okay, Listen, Guys. The War Is On And We Have Got To Win It. And Now We Have Our Secret Weapon. Okay? So Keep Your Heads Up, Your Butts Down, - And Let's Win This Thing, Okay? - Team: Yeah! - Let Me Get Your Hands In. Ready? - Just Let It Loose Now - Everybody Hit The Floor - I Know You Know How - What You Holding Back For? - So Let Me Shine On - All Right, People, Let's Get To It - Come On, Just Let It Go - Yeah, That's The Way You Gotta Do It ( Clucking ) Roosters! ( Whistle Blows ) - Yeah! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Yes! Yes! - The Roosters Score! - Whoo! - I Dunked A Basketball. I Have A Player Who Can Dunk. I Have A Player Who Can Dunk! With A Scoreboard And People Watching And Everything! Guys, Did You See That? I Dunked A Basketball! ( Playing Rock Music ) Come On! ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Clucking ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Chuckles ) Press Press Press! Yes! ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Clucking ) Roosters! ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Whoo! - Time Out, Time Out! They Called Time Out. This Is Great, You Guys. Good Job, Good Job, Men! ( Music Stops ) ( Cheering ) Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! - Chicken! Chicken! - Come On, Chicken. Take That Chicken Head Off. - Yeah, Come On, Chicken. - Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! - Chicken! Chicken! - Come On, Chicken! Show Us Who You Are! We Can't Take It Anymore. What Do You Say, Pete? Maybe It's Time To See What It Feels Like To Stand In Center Court For A Change. - Chicken! Chicken! - Come On, Pete. Show These Guys. Poole's Voice: You Can Live Your Whole Life In A Shell, Or You Can Hatch. I Guess It's Now Or Never. Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! ( Regal Music Playing ) Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Let Me Give You Hand With That, Pete. ( Crowd Chattering ) You Knew? Who Is That Fella? That's Pete! That's Pete Ivey! - It's Our Boy. - That's Our Pete. You Rock, Pete. That's Our Pete! ( Cheering, Shouting ) Whoo! The Kid Makes A Darn Good Chicken. - How Did You Know? - "The Magic's In The Mystery." You Told Tommy, Remember? Crowd: Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! - Whoo! - Your Fans Are Calling... Again. No Time Outs, All Right? I Want A Full Court Press. I Want You To Go For The Steal, If You Don't Get It, I Want You To Foul. We Can Do This! Get Your Hands In Here, Ready? Roosters On Three. - One, Two, Three! - Roosters! Let's Go! ( Playing Rock Music ) Yeah. - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - ( Screaming ) Yes! Yes! Press, Press, Press! - ( Tommy Chattering ) - Trap Him, Trap Him, Trap Him! Tommy: Stolen Again By The Roosters! The Roosters Are Taking It Upcourt. I Can't Believe It. - Yeah! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - Tommy: Roosters Score! - Yeah! Whoo! - I Dunked It Again! - Oh, No He Didn't! - No, He Didn't! Ah! - ( Groans ) Tommy: Roosters Down By Two With Only Eight Seconds To Go! - ( Whistle Blows ) - Crowd: Eight! Seven! Six! Five! - Four! - Yes! Press Again! Three! Two! One! - He Shoots-- He Shoots-- - ( Buzzer Sounds ) The Ball's In The Air! - ( Buzzer Sounds ) - ( Cheering ) They Did It! We Won! Yeah! - Yes! - Whoo-Hoo-Hoo! Bawk! ( Cheerleaders Screaming, Grunting ) ( Giggling ) ( Clucking ) Oh, We Won! ( Girls Screaming, Cheering ) Yes! Yes! Yeah-Ha! Whoo! I Am Not A Loser! ( Whimpers Excitedly ) I Told You I Was Falling For A Guy In A Chicken Suit. Is It Okay If I'm The Guy? ( Laughs ) Pete! Dude, They Love You! Put Your Head On. ( Pop Music Playing ) I Have A Secret I've Been Dying To Tell And I Would Have Told You Sooner But I Think It's Just As Well And Now That We're All Together And It's Time To Celebrate So Take Your Call Your Mom And Dad And Tell Them That The Party's Never Gonna Stop I'm Ready To Rock I'm Ready To Rock Whoo! One, Two, Three, Four, Tell Me What I'm Waiting For And It Feels So Good Tonight Like I Knew It Would, All Right And I Just Love This Starlight And If You're Building Up For A Long, Long Time And A Crime That's About To Pop I'm Ready To Rock Ready To Rock Pete: Cock-A-Doodle-Do It! One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Whoo! Come On, Come On, Whoo! I'm Ready To Rock. |
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