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Heavenly Creatures (1994)
Christchurch...
New Zealand's city of the plains. Here, when spring comes to Canterbury, daffodils bloom gay and golden in the woodland of Hagley Park. Through the park, tree-bordered, green-banked, the Avon flows, a small and placid stream. The riverbank is cool and green, a quiet haven from the bustle of the city. Nearby are tall buildings, busy streets, and the heart of the city, Cathedral Square. Every city street is flat, so there are bicycles everywhere. This is a city of cycling. Mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters all on wheels... cyclists of all ages from 8 to 80 ride to play or work each day. There are thousands of them, and only Copenhagen is said to boast more bicycles. Canterbury University College... weathered gray stone buildings, shadowed cloisters. It was here Lord Rutherford began a great career. The girls' high school stands in Cranmer Square, and not far away are the broad acres of Hagley Park, with playing fields for many sports. In spring, summer, and autumn, Christchurch gardens are gay and colored. Yes, Christchurch, New Zealand's city of the plains. Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! It's Mummy! She's terribly hurt! Please... help us! Sit. The imperfect subjunctive, like the imperfect indicative, indicates action in the past. He wanted her to give him the money. Translate, somebody. Quickly. He wanted her to give him some money. Put up your hand. I will not have girls talking out of turn in my class. Good morning, girls. Good morning, Miss Stewart. Sit. Miss Waller, class... this is Juliet Hulme. Juliet is joining us from St. Margaret, and prior to that, she spent some time at Queenswood in the Hawkes Bay. I am actually from England, Miss Stewart. Of course. Juliet's father is Dr. Hulme, rector of Canterbury College. Juliet has traveled all over the world. And I'm sure she's very eager to share her impressions of exotic lands across the seas with the girls of 3A. Hmm. Well, I'll leave you to it, Miss Waller. Juliet. You can sit over here, Juliet. We use French names in this class. You can choose your own. Now, irregular verbs in the present subjunctive... I doubted... that he would come. Excuse me, Miss Waller. You've made a mistake. "I doubted that he would come" is, in fact, the spoken subjunctive. It is customary to stand when addressing a teacher... Antoinette. You should have written "came." Oh. I-I must have copied it incorrectly from my notes. You don't need to apologize, Miss Waller. I found it frightfully difficult myself until I got the hang of it. Thank you, Juliet. Open your textbook to page 17. Right, I thought we'd do some life drawing today, so why don't you pair off into twos and decide who wants to model and who wants to draw? Oh, Juliet, you haven't got a partner. Oh, that's all right, Mrs. Collins. I'm sure I can manage without one. Pauline, are you with anybody? Good. You can come up here and pair up with Juliet. Draw some heavier lines there. You might want to change the color. Make it a bit darker. That's very nice, Joanne. Good heavens, Juliet. What on Earth is this? St. George and the dragon. Where's Pauline? Oh, I haven't gotten around to drawing her yet. I was going to pop her on a rock, but I seem to have run out of room. Sorry. I don't know if you've noticed, Mrs. Collins, but I've actually drawn St. George in the likeness of the world's greatest tenor, Mario Lanza. Yes, I know. It's very clever, Juliet. But when I set you a topic, I expect you to follow it. Now, put that down and start again. I think your drawing's fantastic. Ooh. Mackerel. Well, we'll have them for lunch tomorrow. Oh, let's have them now while they're fresh, eh, Honora? Well, I think you'll find our Mr. Bayliss isn't too keen on seafood, and I've got lamb chops in the refrigerator. Excuse me. Would you mind if I put my new long-playing record on? You're partial to a nice bit of mackerel, aren't you, Steve? Uh, well, actually, I'm not much of a fish man, Mr. Rieper. Oh, you have been splashing out. Oh, it's all right! I've got my board money. Hello. Well? Tell us. How'd you go? Got an "A," Mum. Oh. Oh, don't worry about it now. We'll sort it out after dinner. You go and put your record on. Doris Day. I think she's really talented. Got to be quick in this house, mate. Hey, isn't that that famous Irish singer, Murray O'Lanza? He's Italian, Dad. The world's greatest tenor. Stop it! You're spoiling it! - Oop! - Go away! And left... right... and left... and right... and left... One... two... Can I have another look? One... Lift those legs high, girls, keeping those legs straight. One... That's so impressive. Can I touch it? Carry on now. You're doing well. I've got scars. They're on my lungs. I spent months in bed during the war, ravaged by respiratory illness. Mummy and Daddy sent me to the Bahamas to recuperate. I didn't see them for five years. But we're together now, and Mummy's promised they'll never leave me again. I spent ages in hospital, too, with my leg. I had to have all these operations. Osteomyelitis turns your bones to chalk. Took them two years to drain all the muck out. Cheer up. All the best people have bad chests and bone diseases. It's all frightfully romantic. Oh! Hi, Paul! - Aah! - Oh! The evil Prince Runnymede is escaping! Aah! Get him, Paul! Faster! Come on! Aah! The blighter's gone to ground! - Aah! - Ahh! Oh, God, Jonesy! Jonesy, stop it! Leave her alone, you rotten little turd! But she's an invader! Go away. We're not playing anymore. Go on. Bugger off. You said a swearword. I'm telling Mummy on you. And I'm going into your bedroom to break every one of your toys. I'm sorry. Oh! Oh, God! I'm so sorry. It doesn't matter. Of course it matters! It's Mario. What on Earth are these? They're egg-and-salmon sandwiches, and I gave them to you several days ago. Oh. Yeah, I thought I could smell sulfur. God, Henry. You're hopeless! Can't be trusted with anything as simple as lunch. Mother! Oh... hello. Mother, Jonesy broke Paul's record! Oh, dear. We must buy her another one. Would you like a cup of tea... Paul? Um, no, thank you. Well, Juliet's told us all about you. I hear you're very fond of opera. Now, which one shall we play? Juliet, your father is trying to study. Daddy can study while we're playing records. Why don't you go back outside, hmm? I'll be finished soon. Mario! Oh! Oh! Paul! Oh, God! Paul, are you all right?! I... I think... I'm dying. Don't! - Please. Please don't! Paul! - Ugh! You've been eating onions! You toad! - Oh! - Waaaa! - Wheeee! Ole! Oh, I wish James Mason would do a religious picture. He'd be perfect as Jesus. Daddy says the Bible is a load of bunkum. But we're all going to Heaven. I'm not. I'm going to the Fourth World. It's sort of like Heaven, only better, because there aren't any Christians. It's an absolute paradise of music, art, and pure enjoyment. James will be there, and Mario, only they'll be saints. St. Mario. To be known... as "He." "He." "Him." "Him." "This." "This." "That." "That." "lt." Absolutely not! Orson Welles! Ugh! The most hideous man alive! We... give praise... to the saints. Saints. Oh, wonderful, Mum! I got me self a pair of socks! Oh, Wendy. Oh. Oh, thanks. From Dad. Mario Lanza! Oh, thanks, Yvonne. I hope it's all right. It's from Whitcombe & Tombs. I decided that my New Year's resolution is to be more lenient with others. Pikelets! Yum! Aren't you going out? Not until 2:30. This is a private function. Go away! Oh! Come on. - Sausage rolls. - Come on through. Look who I found. Hello... Juliet. Hello, Mrs. Rieper. It's so nice to meet you. And so, in a blazing fury, Charles runs Lancelot Trelawney through with his sword, leaving Deborah free to accept Charles' proposal of marriage. I've heard your mother on 3 YA. The Women's Session has lots of lively debate. Well, actually, Mummy's left that program now. She's far too busy with the Marriage Guidance Council. They sound like a queer mob. Dad. I wouldn't want my private business being discussed with a complete stranger. Oh, no. Mummy's awfully good at it. She has deep discussions with unhappy couples and persuades them to give it another go. In two years, she's only had four divorces. She should really be working for the U.N. My wife's blaming me. Says it's all my fault. And how do you feel about that, Mr. Perry? Please... call me Bill. I don't know what went wrong. My wife feels that, uh... Oh, no. No. Let's talk about your feelings... Bill. Mummy's got a special technique called "deep therapy." What's that? I'm not sure, but it's proving to be very popular. Mmm. Eat up, Yvonne. It's my middle name. Yvonne tells us you're... you're good at making models. I adore anything to do with the arts. Well, we're... we're pretty handy with the old model making, too, eh? I've never cottoned on to plasticine like you girls, but I enjoy making anything out of wood. Oh. Are you a carpenter, Mr. Rieper? I work at Dennis Brothers... fish supply. He's the manager. This is the dining room. Do excuse us. Um, breakfast is between 7:00 and 9:00. The bedrooms are small, but they're very clean and comfortable. This, um, this story of yours... perhaps the school newspaper will print it when it's finished. Actually, Mr. Rieper, it's a novel. And we'll be sending it to New York. That's where all the big publishing houses are based. Is that a fact? Well, you'd better put me name down for an advance copy. We have decided how sad it is for other people that they cannot appreciate our genius, but we hope the book will help them to do so a little, though no one could fully appreciate us. Woof, woof. - Oh, go on. - Woof, woof. California, California verse. Aah! Aah! - Aah! - Ahhhhh! Charles clutches his wounded shoulder - as he gallops into the courtyard! Deborah awaits his return in their private boudoir at the very top of the tower! He smells her scent from 50 paces and urges his steed onward! He flings open the door and launches himself at the bed, ravishing her! Oh, God, yes! I bet she gets up the duff on their first night together. What's "up the duff"? Something you wouldn't understand. - Ugh! - Ahhhh! Tell me! I'm almost 10! You're 81/2 and incredibly stupid! Mummy... Paul and I have decided that Charles and Deborah are going to have a baby, an heir to the throne of Borovnia. What a splendid idea. We're calling him Diello. Well, that's a good dramatic name. Paul thought it up. Aren't you clever? Hmm. There... all done. Oh, look at you two... A couple of Borovnian Princesses if ever I saw them. My daughter... and my... foster daughter. Hilda, I can't find that letter from the High Commission. They want our passport numbers. Are you going abroad, Daddy? Your father's attending a university conference in England, darling. We'll only be gone for a few weeks. You're not going, are you, Mummy? Well, yes, I-I thought I might. It's, uh, a long time for your father and I to be apart. But I should go, too. Darling, you've got school. You've only just settled in. B-But... Who's coming to the shops? Me! I'm coming! I need some cigarettes. Put on your shoes, Jonathon! Oh! Julie! Julie! Julie! Julie! Look, Paul! What? - Look! - What? Oh, it's so beautiful. What?! Oh, it's so beautiful! Pretty flowers. Come with me! It's all right. You'll see. Come on! Come on! Look! Oh! Oh! Today Juliet and I discovered the key to the Fourth World. We have had it in our possession for about six months, but we only realized it on the day of the death of Christ. We saw a gateway through the clouds. Everything was full of peace and bliss. We then realized we had the key. We now know we're not genii, as we thought. We have an extra part of our brain that can appreciate the Fourth World. Only about 10 people have it. When we die, we will go to the Fourth World, but meanwhile, on two days every year, we may use the key and look into that beautiful world which we have been lucky enough to be allowed to know of on this day of finding the key to the way through the clouds. Ughhhhhh! Push! It's coming! Mnhhhhhh! Oh, God! It's a boy! Oh! Deborah... We have a son and heir. I shall call him Diello! Oh, you're such an incredible woman! I couldn't have done it without you, Charles. The empress Deborah has the most enormous difficulty fending off her husband, who tries to have his way with her morning, noon, and night. Thank you, Juliet. However... the queen's biggest problem is her renegade child, Diello, who has proven to be an uncontrollable little blighter who slaughters his nannies whenever the fancy takes him! That's enough, Juliet! I suppose this is your idea of a joke! No, Mrs. Stevens. I suppose you think it witty and clever to mock the royal family, to poke fun at the queen and the empire with this... rubbish! It's not rubbish! Sit down, Pauline! I really don't understand why you are so upset, Mrs. Stevens. I merely wrote an essay on the royal family, as requested. It doesn't say it has to be the Windsors! Sit down! A girl like you should be setting an example. To your seat. Stop it, Juliet! Mrs. Hulme told me they had found out today that Juliet has tuberculosis on one lung. Poor Juliet. I nearly fainted when I heard. I had a terrible job not to cry. I spent a wretched night. It would be wonderful if I could get tuberculosis, too. Come on, sit up. I'm not hungry. Oh, Yvonne, you've got to eat. You hardly ate any dinner last night. Now, come on. I'm not having you falling ill. I just want to be on my own for a while. Well, you may have forgotten that you were once a very sick little girl, but I haven't. All right. Do you think Juliet could stay here while her parents are away? Juliet's infectious. She'll be going to the hospital. But she'll have no one to look after her! Well, her parents won't be going overseas now. They have to cancel their trip. Don't worry about Juliet. Well, it's not too late to cancel our travel arrangements, if that's what you want. I'm sure you'll like it here. It's very tranquil. Oh, I've spoken to the matron. She promises to take extra special care of you. And you can carry on with your studies while you convalesce. It's for the good of your health, darling. Cheer up, old thing, hmm? Four months... fly by in no time. Juliet won't be allowed visitors for at least a couple of months, dear. I've booked you in for a chest X-ray just to be on the safe side. I thought I'd have a go at building the birdhouse on Saturday. Anybody want to give me a hand? You used to love making things with Dad, Yvonne. This evening, I had a brain wave that Juliet and I should write to each other as Charles and Deborah. I wrote a six-page letter as Charles and a two-page letter as Paul. She has entered into the spirit of the thing greatly. "My dear Charles, "I miss you and adore you in equal amounts "and long for the day that we will be reunited. "But as I languish here in this house of disease "and decrepitude, "my mind turns with increasing frequency "to the problem of our son. "Although only 10, "Diello has thus far killed 57 people "and shows no desire to stop. It worries me, Charles. " "My dearest, darling, Deborah, "affairs of state continue to occupy my time. "I have to report "that the lower classes are terrifically dull. "Only yesterday, "I was compelled to execute several peasants "just to alleviate the boredom. "Diello insisted on coming along. "In fact, he made such a fuss "that I had to let him wield the ax himself. "Heads did roll... "not just the prisoners "but the royal guard, my valet, "and several unfortunate onlookers copped it as well. " "Oh, Charles, I am despaired enough "to put Diello in the hands of the cardinal "in the hope that a good dose of religion will set the young chap on the right path. " Hello again. How are you getting on? It must be awfully hard being away from your school chums. I've got something here that you might just like to have a look at. Unfortunately, the miracles of modern medicine can only go so far in combating an illness like TB. That's why I'm here, because... Reach out, Juliet! Reach out for Jesus! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Yvonne! Yvonne! Paul! Paul! Oh! Oh! I'm so happy to see you! Don't get too close. She's still not 100/o. Hello, Juliet. Hello! We brought you some fruit. Oh, thank you so much! Your letters are wonderful, Charles! Well, that's, um, coming along nicely. Oh, I'm the matron's favorite patient, and she showed me her special stitch. I love the color. It's for you. Oh! Goodness, me, what a lot of letters. Ha. Are your parents enjoying their trip? Oh, there's a couple of unopened ones. I'm saving them for a rainy day. - I know it's hard for you being in here, but it is for the good of your health. They sent me off to the Bahamas for the good of my health. They sent me off to the Bay of bloody Islands for the good of my health! I'm sorry, Mrs. Rieper. I'm feeling quite fatigued. Well, we don't want to tire you out, dear. Oh, can't you stay a bit longer, Paul? No, we've got a tram to catch, Yvonne. Bye. You know, this is quite something. You're damn clever. So, Deborah is married to Charles, and this chap Nicholas is her tennis instructor? Yes, but there's nothing between them. Deborah would never go for a commoner. Nicholas has got his eye on Gina, an amazingly beautiful gypsy. Looks like you, Yvonne. Juliet made it. This is really quite incredible. I'd bet you girls know the entire royal lineage for the last five centuries. Oh, yes, it's all worked out. You'll never guess what's happened. What? John has fallen in love with me! That idiot boarder? Yes! How do you know? Did he tell you? Well, uh, no, but it's so obvious. Is that why you haven't replied to my last letter? Oh. No, silly. I'm only teasing. He's only a stupid boy. Yvonne. What do you want? I can't sleep. Can I borrow a book? Shut the door. This looks interesting. Some of these knitting patterns look damn complicated. Have you tried the tea cozy? It's damn cold, isn't it? Do you think I could hop into bed just for a minute... just to warm up? My feet are like ice blocks. Well, you should've worn your slippers. Come on, Yvonne, I'll catch my death. Tsk. Just for a minute. To think that so much could happen in so little time caused by so few. A terrible tragedy has occurred. "No, girls, it isn't 'O,' it's 'E'!" And she goes, "Eee!" As if someone was jabbing a pen into her. Silly old trout. I love you, Yvonne. And then in history, we've got this senile old bat, who goes, "And Charles II "met Nell Gwyn aboard a boat, "and he was a wealthy, young prince, "and she was a pretty, young thing, and these things do happen." God, it's no wonder I don't excel in history. Do you love me as much as I love you? Of course, my darling, Nicholas. My... my name's John. Well, I like "Nicholas" much better. You can call me anything you like. What are you doing? Nothing. Oh, bloody hell! Go to the house. You've broken my heart, Yvonne. I lay there mesmerized. It was just too frightful to believe. When I got up, I found Father had told Mother. Coming to Lancaster Park today, Mr. Rieper? Oh, where's John? He said he'd walk with me. John is no longer staying here. Shot through this morning, said his old mom had taken sick. I had a nasty, foreboding feeling at first, but now I realized my crime was too frightful for an ordinary lecture. From now on, you are sleeping in the house, where we can keep an eye on you. If you think for one minute that your father and I will tolerate this kind of behavior, you've got another think coming! You're only 14! You're a child! What on Earth is the matter with you, Yvonne? You know what can happen with boys. Don't you have any self-respect?! Can I go now? Oh, you think you're such a clever little madam! You had your father in tears last night! My God, what a disgrace you are. You shame me. You shame the family. You're nothing but a cheap little tart! Well, I guess I take after you, then! You ran off with Dad when you were only 17! Nana Parker told me! You're going to be late. I'm terribly cut up. I miss Nicholas terrifically. Mother thinks I will have nothing more to do with him, but little she knows. Nicholas was pleased that I was so early. We sat around and talked for an hour and then went to bed. I declined the invitation at first, but he became very masterful, and I had no option. I discovered that I had not lost my virginity on Thursday night. However, there is no doubt whatsoever that I have now. Charles! Gina! It's great to see you here! Deborah? Deborah?! Deborah?! Ah! Diello! Careful, Gina, we almost lost you. Ugh! For you, my lady. Deborah. I didn't hurt you, did I? I've got to go home. I love you so much. Oh, Pauline! Ah! - Daddy! - Daddy! Oh! There, living among two beautiful daughters. Of a man who possesses two beautiful daughters, you cannot know nor yet try to guess the sweet soothingness of their caress. The outstanding genius of this pair is understood by few, they are so rare. Beautiful boy! Mummy! Oh, darling! Ha ha! Hello. Welcome home. Yvonne! Stop! I still love you! Compared with these two, every man is a fool. The world is most honored that they should deign to rule, and I worship the power of these lovely two with that adoring love known to so few. Yvonne! Ah... pretty. Argh! Ugh! 'Tis indeed a miracle one must feel that two such heavenly creatures are real. Both sets of eyes, though different far, hold many mysteries strange, and passively, they watch the race of men decay and change. Hatred burning bright in the brown eyes with enemies for fuel. Icy scorn glitters in the gray eyes, contemptuous and cruel. And why are men such fools they will not realize the wisdom that is hidden behind those strange eyes? And these wonderful people are you and I. Mrs. Rieper, may I come in? Yes, of course. Thank you. an imaginative... ...and spirited girl. Look, if she's spending too much time at your house, you only need to say. All those nights that she spends over, she's assured us that you don't mind. Uh, no. l-lt's rather more complicated than that. Since Mrs. Hulme and I have returned home, Juliet's been behaving in a rather... disturbed manner... surliness, um, short temper, general irritability... most uncharacteristic. You sure I can't tempt you to a nice sherry, Dr. Hulme? Uh, no, thank you. The thing is... Yvonne hasn't been herself, either... locking herself away in her room, endlessly writing. My wife and I feel that the friendship is... unhealthy. No arguments there, Dr. Hulme. All that time inside working on those novels of theirs... they don't get any fresh air or exercise. I'm not sure what you mean, Dr. Hulme. Your daughter... appears to have formed a rather... unwholesome attachment to Juliet. What's she done? She hasn't done anything. It's the, um... it's the intensity of the friendship that concerns me. I think we should avert trouble... before it starts. Now... Dr. Bennett's a good friend of mine. He's a general physician, but he has some expertise in child psychology. If Pauline is, indeed, developing in a rather... ...wayward fashion, Dr. Bennett is the ideal man to set her back on track. What about your studies? Are you enjoying school? Are you happy at home? Answer Dr. Bennett, Yvonne. Yvonne... Mrs. Rieper, perhaps you, uh, you wouldn't mind waiting outside, hmm? Do you like your mother? No. And why is that? She nags me. And that's why you like to stay with the Hulmes. Or is it because you want to be with Juliet? Do you... like girls? No. Why not? They're silly. But Juliet's not silly. No. Yvonne, there's nothing wrong with having a close friend. But sometimes things can get... too friendly. Such associations can lead to trouble. It isn't good to have just one friend. My wife and I have several friends, and we enjoy seeing them on a regular basis, and it's all perfectly healthy. Perhaps you could think about spending more time with... boys. You don't want to hurt Juliet's feelings, but I'm sure she'd understand your having other interests outside of the friendship. I mean, there's all sorts of clubs and hobbies that you... Bloody fool. Uh, Mrs. Rieper... Uh, h... homosexuality. Oh. I agree, Mrs. Rieper. It's not a pleasant word. But let us not panic unduly. This condition is often a passing phase with girls of Yvonne's age. But she's always been a normal... happy child. Oh, it can strike at any time, and adolescents are particularly vulnerable. What about the vomiting? Uh, she's lost a lot of weight. Physically, I can find nothing wrong. I've checked for TB, and she's clear. I... I can only attribute her weight loss to her... mental disorder. Look, Mrs. Rieper, try not to worry too much. Yvonne's young and strong, and she's got a loving family behind her. Chances are she'll grow out of it. If not, well, medical science is progressing in leaps and bounds. There... there could be a breakthrough at any time. Oh. It was a rather snobbish conception... Mother woke me this morning and started lecturing me before I was properly awake, which I thought was somewhat unfair. She has brought up the worst possible threat now. She said that if my health did not improve, I could never see the Hulmes again. The thought is too dreadful. Life would be unbearable without Deborah. I wish I could die. This is not an idle or temporary impulse. I have decided over the last two or three weeks that it would be the best thing that could happen altogether, and the thought of death is not fearsome. Oh, thank you! Oh, Wendy. I've got me self a pair of socks! Is it hurting, dear? Your leg. Have you got pain? My New Year's resolution is a far more selfish one than last year. It is to make my motto, "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may be dead. " Hi, Paul! Hi, Paul! Hi, Paul! Ready... Smile. This arrived today, Yvonne. My name is Gina. It's a letter from the school, from Miss Stewart. What does Old Stu want? She says the standard of your work is slipping. At this rate, she doesn't think you'll get school certificate. Who cares? I care, and your father cares. We want you to get a good education. I'm educating myself. You're failing English! You used to be the top of the class! I'm doing my own writing! Don't think these stories are going to get you school certificate! You don't seriously think anyone's going to publish them? What would you know? You wouldn't know the first thing about writing! You're the most ignorant person I've ever met! You're rude... rude and insolent! And I don't think I should keep a horrid little child like you in school a minute longer. I don't want to be in bloody school! All right! Well, you go out there! You go out there and get a job, and you damn well pay your own way! I think I'm going crazy. No, you're not, Gina. It's everyone else who's bonkers. Let's go overseas. You mean travel by ourselves? Where shall we go? Not the Bahamas. It's bloody awful. Of course! It's so obvious! I know... I'll lean back and put my hair on my shoulder. Then I'll look just like Veronica Lake. - Oh, great! - Stay still, or else they'll be blurry. Oh, well, hurry up! It's freezing! Oh, just a couple more. I know... I'll lean forward now and I'll show more cleavage. Those girls are up to something in the bathroom. I think they're taking photographs of each other. Just leave them alone, Henry. I'm prepared to tolerate that Rieper girl's presence, but I will not stand for any... you know... hanky-panky. I'm sure it's all perfectly innocent. I'm sure they'll notice things missing. They'll blame the bloody housekeeper. She nicks stuff all the time. This lot's got to be worth 50 quid. I can try my father's safe. I'm sure I can get the keys to his office. That's great! We'll have the fare in no time. As soon as those bods in Hollywood cop a look at us, they'll be falling over themselves. Oh, it'll be amazing to meet James in person. I just know we'll hit it off brilliantly. And Guy Rolfe and Mel Ferrer. And Mario! - oh, I can't wait to do the love scenes! But what if they're married? Oh, don't worry about that. We'll simply murder any odd wives that get in our way. I rose at 5:30 this morning and did all the housework before 8:00, including taking Wendy her breakfast in bed. I feel very pleased with myself on the whole, and also the future. We are so brilliantly clever. A good shot, Hilda. Ah... excellent. Boys and girls, what have you been doing? Aah! Direct hit! Gave his trousers a jolly good soaking. Everyone will think he's peed himself. Ha! Damn it! Net fault. Bloody Bill is sniffing around Mummy something chronic. Hmm. I thought he was supposed to be terribly ill. That's what we were led to believe. Henry... I'm terribly worried about Bill Perry. He's just had this spell in hospital. He's got nowhere to convalesce. No? I-I've offered him the flat. He really shouldn't be left alone... not in his condition. Yeah. I was so looking forward to the ambulance arriving. There's something desperately exciting about bodies on stretchers. Oh, God! Bill! But it wasn't like that at all. Bill! I hope the trip didn't tire you. Hello. Not in the least. What a splendid place. - Hello. - Hello. It used to be the servants' quarters, but it's... it's very comfortable. Oh. Corker. Mother was completely taken in. Do you think bloody Bill's trying to get into her drawers? Too right. But he doesn't have a show. Nobody gets into Mummy's drawers except Daddy. Poor Father. Don't worry, Gina. Mummy and Daddy love each other. Thanks, Prof. You have alienated the professorial board and completely compromised the good will of the council. You could've at least been a bit more reasonable about the forestry school. I stand by the report I made last year. Canterbury College should not be diversifying... Henry, it's just not working. Surely a man of your caliber is needed back in England. I have my daughter's health to consider. She requires a warm climate. Dr. Hulme, let's make an effort to avoid a public embarrassment. You have until the end of the year to find a new position. Bill, it's not right. It's not right. - When? - Not now! You're a dreadful flirt. Just washing my hair now, Laurie. Won't be a moment. Is she still in there? Come on, Yvonne. You've had enough time. - - Yvonne! Yes, yes, yes. You open up this door right now. I'm bloody dressing as fast as I can, for God's sake. Open this door! Mother gave me a fearful lecture along the usual strain. I rang Deborah immediately, as I had to tell someone sympathetic... how I loathed Mother. Mother told me I could not go to llam again until I was 8 stone and more cheerful. All week I have looked forward to going to llam, and now this. She is most unreasonable. I also overheard her making insulting remarks about Mrs. Hulme. I was livid. I am very glad, because the Hulmes sympathize with me, and it is nice to feel that adults realize what Mother is. Dr. Hulme is going to do something about it, I think. Why could not Mother die? Dozens of people are dying all the time... thousands. So why not Mother? And Father, too. Yvonne... Come on, dear. Now shut your eyes and make a wish. The balloon has gone up! - What on Earth are you talking about? Mr. Perry's ill. I've brought him a cup of tea. Would you care for one, Juliet? Don't try and fob me off. It's going to cost you 100, or else I'm blabbing to Daddy. Mister... Perry and I are... in love, Juliet. Hilda... Your father knows about us. Until other arrangements can be made, we've decided to live together as a threesome. I don't care what you do. Paul and I are going to Hollywood. They're desperately keen to sign us up. We're going to be film stars. What are you talking about? It's all arranged. We don't need your bloody 100 anyway, so stick it up your bottom! Deborah told me the stupendous news. I'm going out to llam, as we have much to talk over. Hello! Deborah was still in bed when I arrived. - Oh... - Oh... Dr. Hulme asked us to come into the lounge to have a talk with him. Your mother and I... are getting divorced. The shock was too great to have penetrated my mind. It is so incredible. Poor Father. Dr. Hulme was absolutely kind and understanding. He said we must tell him everything about our going to America. He was both hope-giving and depressing. We talked for a long time, and Deborah and I were near tears by the time it was over. What is to be the future now? We may all be going to Italy and dozens of other places, or not at all. None of us know where we are, and a good deal depends on chance. Dr. Hulme is the noblest and most wonderful person I have ever known of. One thing Deborah and I are sticking to... through everything, we sink or swim together. Your mother and I have talked things over, and we've made some decisions. I'm resigning from the university, and I'll be taking up a position back in England. But, Daddy, you can't just leave me here with Mother. I thought it best if you accompany your father. Is Gina coming, too? Of course not. I'm not going to England without Gina! You're not going to England, darling. I'm leaving you in South Africa with Auntie Ena. That chest of yours isn't getting any better. A warmer climate is just what you need. For the good of your health. Ahhhhhh! The Hulmes will look after me. They want me to live with them. Don't be so ridiculous. You're our daughter. You belong here with us. I belong with Deborah. We're going to South Africa. You're not going anywhere. You're 15 years old, Yvonne. You have to let me go! We'll talk about this when you've calmed down. I felt thoroughly depressed and even quite seriously considered committing suicide. Life seemed so much not worth the living and death such an easy way out. Love, you can still write to each other. Anger against Mother boiled up inside me, as it is she who is one of the main obstacles in my path. Suddenly a means of ridding myself of this obstacle occurred to me. If she were to die... I cannot begin to attempt to measure the inestimable value of Dr. Hulme's contributions to Canterbury College, both social and official. We wish both him and Mrs. Hulme all the best for the future. Everything's going to be okay, Gina. Mr. Perry promised to give me 50 for my horse. That's 120! Just another 30, and we've got the fare! It's no bloody good. I went to the passport office today. They won't give me one till I'm 20! But that's not true! I've got one! No... I need my sodding parents' consent. Oh, don't cry, Gina. Gina, please don't cry. We're not going to be separated. We're not. They can't make us! They can't! They can't! They can not. Off me! I hate you! Yvonne... Don't be like this, love. I did not tell Deborah of my plans for removing Mother. I have made no decision yet, as the last fate I wish to meet is one in a borstal. I am trying to think of some way. I've just had Hilda Hulme on the telephone. What now? She says Juliet's in a terrible state. She's uncontrollable. I've told her Pauline isn't going to South Africa. She refuses to accept it. Well, I expect you've heard the same from your own daughter. Um... Yvonne hasn't spoken to me for... um, nearly two weeks. Yes. Well... it hasn't been an easy time for any of us, Mrs. Rieper. She's cut us out of her life, Mrs. Hulme. It's been causing her mother and I a lot of worry. What I'm suggesting is that we let the girls spend these last three weeks together. We would like Pauline to come and stay with Juliet until she leaves. Is that a good idea? Perhaps I could telephone you tonight, Mrs. Hulme. Yes, yes. Of... of course. Charles! Charles! Charles! Oh! We've realized why Deborah and I have such extraordinary telepathy and why people treat us and look at us the way they do. It is because we are mad! We are both stark raving mad! d... when a birthday is near... d All the cast of the saints are mad, too. Dr. Hulme is mad, as mad as a March hare. d... the loveliest night of the ye-e-e-e-e-ar d Halt! It was the first time I had ever seen "lt." Deborah had always told me how hideous he was. Is that you? You're through, Harry. Come out. You haven't got a chance this way. What do you want? You might as well give up. "It" is appalling. He is dreadful. Come back! I have never in my life seen anything in the same category of hideousness, but I adore him! Bah! Ah. Hurry! Hurry! Gina! We talked for some time about "lt," getting ourselves more and more excited. We enacted how each saint would make love in bed. We spent a hectic night going through the saints. It was wonderful... heavenly... beautiful... and ours. We felt satisfied, indeed. We have now learned the peace of the thing called "bliss"... the joy of the thing called "sin." I'm coming with you. Yes. I know what to do about Mother. We don't want to go to too much trouble. Some sort of... accident. People die every day. Our main idea for the day was to murder Mother. This notion is not a new one, but this time it is a definite plan which we intend to carry out. We have worked it out carefully and are both thrilled by the idea. Naturally, we feel a trifle nervous, but the pleasure of anticipation is great. Only the best people fight against all obstacles... in pursuit of happiness. We both spent last night having a simply wonderful time in every possible way. I was picked up at 2:00 p.m. I have been very sweet and good. I have worked out a little more of our plan. Peculiarly enough, I have no qualms of conscience. I arose late and helped Mother vigorously this morning. Deborah rang, and we decided to use a rock and a stocking rather than a sandbag. We discussed the murder fully. I feel very keyed up, as though I were planning a surprise party. Mother has fallen in with everything beautifully, and the happy event is to take place tomorrow afternoon. Next time I write in this diary, Mother will be dead. How odd... yet how pleasing. Mummy! Mummy! I am writing a little of this up on the morning before the death. I felt very excited and... The-Night-Before-Christmas-ish last night. I am about to rise. Juliet? Hurry up. Ah, thought I'd lost you. Mummy... Oh. Oh... You've got roses in your cheeks. Oh, I haven't seen that in such a long time. Oh, bye. Have a lovely time, darling. I will. I'm so looking forward to it. Bye, Daddy! See you tonight! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's enough bread to feed an army. Hello. Hello, Juliet. Oh, what a nice outfit. Thank you. I, um, bought it especially, Mrs. Rieper. Oh. Fruit. Oh, pop them in a bowl. Let's go upstairs, Deborah. I wrote the first 10 pages of my opera last night. All right, then. Ugh. Do you feel all sweaty? Oh, I feel sweaty. It's a three-act story with a tragic end. Your mother is rather a miserable woman... isn't she? I thought for hours about whether Carmelita should accept Bernard's marriage proposal... I think she knows what's going to happen. She doesn't appear to bear us any grudge. ...but in the end I decided against it. I thought it would spoil all their fun. Affairs are much more exciting than marriages, as Mummy can testify. It's true. He was spotted in the lingerie department, eh, Wendy? There's nothing wrong with Sir Edmund Hillary buying underwear for his wife. He was a very nice man. I-I bet it was thermal underwear. I bet... I bet he pitches a tent in the middle of their bedroom, and they have to pretend to be on a mountain. That's enough, Yvonne. That man's a credit to the nation. Right, who's going to help me clear away? I will, Mum. Anything to get away from Laurel and Hardy. I'd better be getting back. - Bye, love. - Bye. Have a nice outing, you lot. Bye, Dad. Bye, Mr. Rieper. Well, I'm going to make myself a bit more presentable. Isn't it beautiful? Let's go for a walk down here. Come on, Mummy. Oh, no. I'd like a cup of tea first. Come on. You have it. Oh... no. I'm... I'm watching my figure. But you're not fat, Mrs. Rieper. Oh, well, I put on a lot of weight over Christmas. Go on, Mum. Treat yourself. All right. Yvonne, love, w... we should be going back. We don't want to miss the bus. Juliet... You button up your coat. You'll get a chill. Look... Mother. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Aah! Aah! - Gina! - Hurry! - Aah! Don't! No! Don't!! Aah! Gina. Do not leave. I'm coming! I'm coming! Don't go! You can't! No! I'm sorry. No!! |
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