We should've taken the elevator.
It wasn't that narrow.
A mezuzah...
What's your colleague's name again?
Saint Alban.
Never have guessed.
Hang on... Here.
Thanks.
Good evening.
Pleased to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Yes. I brought you some wine.
Thanks. Is it kosher?
No, it's an Anglus.
Never mind.
We'll drink it later.
Come on.
- Here we are.
- Smells good.
We're in for a treat.
Here.
- You left your son alone?
- He's 27 years old.
That's no reason, it's Friday.
It's Shabbat.
Hon, get the challah
out of the oven.
Khadija,
the challah, please!
Alain, you say the prayer.
- No...
- Yes, you're the guest.
- No, really...
- Go on.
- I don't have my glasses.
- Use mine.
- No...
- Leave him alone.
- He's not Jewish.
- Mom!
- He's not.
- Mom, are you from the Gestapo?
What's your name?
Gaash. With 2 'a's.
That's not Jewish.
- It is. It's Ashkenazi.
- Is it?
It's very rare.
You don't have to reply.
It comes from Lithuania.
You're not Jewish.
Mam!
I converted for our wedding.
I'll say the prayer.
You're not circumcised.
No.
My parents thought
it was too barbaric.
You see, he's not Jewish.
What was all that about?
They restaged the Nuremberg Trials!
I'm as Jewish as he is.
Just 'cause I can't read Hebrew...
if there's a raid,
they'll take me, too!
And me?
Sure, you too, honey.
You're going, too.
We'll all be gassed together.
Don't overdo it.
He's the one
who changed his name.
He's the one hiding.
I'm not ashamed of my origins.
I was born a Gaash, I'll die a Gaash!
Mind you,
Saint Alban is pretty smart.
I mean, Benchemoul Clinic
doesn't sound too great.
Your son's at reception
to see you.
I can't. I have a delivery.
Dad, spare a minute?
I need a word.
- Am I disturbing you?
- Shoot.
You know
that Gladys and I are in love.
Yeah, yeah.
- You like her, don't you?
- Yeah.
We're getting married.
- Who?
- Me and Gladys.
Ah, Gladys? Is she well?
The marriage...
I wanted you to know first.
Why me?
We were going to use St. Roch...
- Coming!
- But it's too small.
The Madeleine has a great choir.
- Why do you want a choir?
- Dad!
I'm so happy!
Calm down.
Deep breaths.
My son's marrying in church.
I didn't see him grow up.
Nor did I. And yet I was there.
Jesus was an Israelite, too,
to start with...
We all come from the same branch.
Yes. We're all like monkeys!
An anchovy pastry, Mr. Sapin?
I love Woody Allen.
And Einstein! Not everyone
could invent the relativity theory.
True, true...
Did you see Dad?
No idea where he is.
He must be off, getting drunk.
Well, that's it! We lost him.
Who?
Nicolas.
First Gisle,
now Gladys...
Couldn't she be called Rachel?
Gisle converted.
- She even chose the synagogue.
- Very nice of her, I'm sure.
You know what I mean,
they're not like us.
No, I don't.
Do they eat their children?
There's no need to be rude.
Ah, yes, I remember now.
Gisle wakes up,
hairs sprouting all over,
and rubs her bare body
against crosses, singing Wagner!
- You've drunk too much.
- No, not enough!
Not enough, Mom.
That was close.
Aren't you sick of it?
Only 2 games left.
I mean of your job,
your patients,
the apartment and everything?
Is it because of Nicolas?
He'll always love you...
We'll grow old and die.
That's all that's left.
C'mon, honey.
Let's finish the game, OK?
- We have it all.
- Isn't that what you wanted?
But it can't carry on like this.
- Ready?
- Yes.
Let's just finish the game.
- We're going cold.
- Just a minute.
Do you want to go
on a little trip somewhere?
Far away.
Leave everything behind,
start over.
We could go to...
I don't know, Chile?
Visit Valparaiso. I hear
the meat's excellent over there.
Just opposite
is Robinson Crusoe's Island.
Or we could visit New Zealand,
the Marquesas Islands
or Bora Bora?
No, I want to go to Israel.
- Let's stop then.
- Israel? Coming!
Happy birthday!
It's in 2 months...
It came in early.
The dealer couldn't keep it.
Lovely, isn't she?
Go on, get in.
Smell that? It smells new.
Look at this. Leather upholstery,
bucket seats...
Automatic gearbox which slips
into manual when you want some fun.
And best of all...
an electric top!
Imagine, it's raining,
the wipers are going.
Monotony, boredom...
And... Oh! All of a sudden,
a ray of sunlight.
Hey presto, press the button,
open the top... Bliss!
The open air!
It takes 6 seconds to open.
Like her?
I thought all this was over.
What about Israel?
Israel?
Oh, yes, Israel. Sure!
Yeah, sure.
This is extra. Try her out.
Go on.
I'll watch you.
Gisle!
Are you OK, Gisle?
Much better!
A chauffeur...
Trying to win me over?
What are you doing?
It says Gash. Is your name Gash?
Of course it is.
Who do they think they are?
- Seriously? Gash?
- Yes, but with 2 'a's.
A palm tree!
Lovely.
So, there were Gashes in Bulgaria?
- Lithuania.
- Bet they didn't eat couscous!
Is it your first time in Israel, too?
Are you nuts?
It's my second home.
No, it is my home.
Israel runs in my veins.
Israel is my blood.
Israel is my life.
We honeymooned here.
And now, our aliyah!
We have the apartment, passport...
We're real Israelis.
And the kids' future is here.
Why are all those girls in fatigues
thumbing a lift?
They're doing military service.
- I don't wanna do that.
- You'll do as you're told!
Don't worry, hon,
you'll do what you want.
Right.
Let me show you around.
I know a kebab restaurant.
Where are you staying?
At the David Intercontinental.
- Doctor or lawyer?
- Gynecologist.
I won't send you my wife!
The taxi fare's on me.
No, really...
- I'll pay.
- Don't be so polite.
All Gashes here!
Gimme your cell.
Your cellphone number.
Hurry up. C'mon!
Look, they gave me
a disposable kippah.
Put your hands on the wall.
Let yourself be penetrated.
Can you feel it?
It's...
It's intense.
Really? You felt it?
Yes, it's strong.
- And you?
- Yes, of course.
Here!
Write a note.
Make a wish, a prayer.
To the wall?
Yes, to God.
That's why
there are all these papers.
- Here.
- What did you put?
I can't say.
What shall I put?
Make sure that Paris St. Germain
beats Marseille.
Now that would be good!
It's magnificent.
How much is it exactly?
Look, there are even orange trees
in the garden.
Sorry, my wife insists
on visiting houses.
It's a fad.
It's the same on every trip.
It must have a price!
Why are we here?
Why aren't we at Eilat,
swimming with dolphins?
We have no reason to be here.
This is the 3rd house.
Hello?
Oh, hello, honey!
It's midnight.
I was worried to death.
It's 11 in Paris? It's never too late
to phone your mom.
Oh, yes, it's a magical place.
If you could see it...
What are you doing?
Are you crazy?
I'm cutting the cord!
We'll never find the car.
I don't believe it...
It was good last night.
Yeah...
We haven't made love
like that in weeks.
8 months.
What?
We haven't made love in 8 months.
Are you sure?
Why call a guy I don't know?
I met him once at some conference.
I wanted to go see
the dolphins in Eilat.
This hospital manager orders
4 copies of your book.
That's almost half your sales.
You must go say hello.
Just call him.
I don't know where he works.
Can't be many hospitals...
I didn't come on vacation
to call hospitals.
No, it's out of the question.
I came here 14 years ago
and never looked back.
Do you know
what we're short of here?
- Talent like you.
- Oh, please...
Should I hide what I think?
Rosenbaum, head of gynecology,
is moving to Philadelphia.
I'd like to make you an offer.
Are you serious?
As serious as a tax inspector!
I must replace Rosenbaum.
Call me
and your contract will be ready.
Providence has sent you.
Are you a believer?
Nor am I!
I'd give my right arm
to have you.
Gisle!
Professor Siletsky.
Charmed!
"Sonograms of Placenta Previa".
What a book!
That marvelous fetus on the cover!
What's in that brain?
I'd like to look
at how all those synapses work.
He's a genius, you know that?
- Please!
- And not bad at tennis, I hear.
I used to compete,
won a few trophies...
- Really?
- Sure.
- Yes, in '82, remember?
- Stop it or I won't let you leave!
I'm coming.
Sorry, duty calls.
Delighted to meet you.
- Alain, see you very soon, I hope.
- Thank you.
Why are we here?
You know I hate cemeteries.
"Jacob Gaash".
I phoned around. This is
the only cemetery with a Gaash.
Dad mentioned a Lithuanian uncle
who went to Israel.
He's calling me.
Go on, then.
Me?
Yes?
Pardon?
- Yes.
- Pray.
- Pray...
- Kaddish, for the dead.
Need...
10 men.
Am n
Oh, yes, very good.
I understand.
- Thank you, sir.
- Don't mention it.
Thank you, sir.
Hi, I have family in France.
- Where are you from?
- Paris.
I love Paris.
Celine Dion, Adidas, paella...
My brother's there. Know him?
Shlomo Shapiro? Handsome.
Shlomo Shapiro, handsome?
No...
- Know Shlomo Shapiro?
- No.
All around, we'll plant 50-foot-high
palm trees we bring in from Egypt.
No expense spared.
It'll be really incredible.
On the top floor,
the apartments have a huge terrace
overlooking the gardens
and the patio.
It's the Tel Aviv of tomorrow...
today!
Know what?
I've kept one for my mom.
Gisele, what're we doing here?
- Take that hard hat off!
- No.
It's 4 hours from Paris.
Perfect for a second home.
Vacations, weekends -
you'll soon recoup the cost.
When you sell,
I'll find you a buyer in a day.
- When will it be ready?
- 3 months.
Maybe 2, God willing.
Okay, I'll do you a favor.
My brother's number in Paris.
Call him when you get back.
Give him 25% of the sum
to block the sale,
5% when you get the keys,
and the rest over 5 years
interest free.
I need a prompt decision.
We'll think it over.
Think what over?
Don't take too long.
They're selling like fruit cakes.
Did you call Shapiro's brother?
Who?
The real estate agent.
What?
- What?
- Yes, what?
What?
You said you'd call him last week.
What is this?
We have a good life here,
we want for nothing,
but we're not rolling in it.
Do you want to go?
Look, let's think it over... calmly.
Why rush into it?
I spent 20 years
raising our son, helping you...
- There's worse.
- Sure, but...
with Nicolas gone,
I have no reason to stay.
But why Israel?
Why?
We know nothing about the place.
I felt good there.
I wasn't a mother...
or a wife. I was me.
Just Gisle.
I was happy.
I can't explain it.
I want to go back to understand.
Understand what?
Who I am.
Look, we were on vacation.
It was sunny...
if you like, we can buy
a house down south,
but not too far south...
It's not so simple.
So, do we buy an aquarium,
adopt a dolphin and everyone's happy?
I may not be a good wife, but...
if you want a divorce, I'll go.
All right, Doctor?
Yes. See you Tuesday?
Get dressed.
You can't start over at 54!
I thought you'd lost your tongue.
Where will you live?
Oh, I forgot!
We bought a place.
- He's crazy.
- What with? You couldn't ever save!
- You don't even speak Hebrew.
- We'll learn.
You just don't realize...
What do you expect to find?
The land of milk and honey!
Bullshit! The land
of exploding buses, more like!
What's your problem?
Is it Israel?
Forget Israel. Let's say
we bought a place in Paraguay.
I'll be the first Jew
to play panpipes in a poncho.
You can learn the tango...
That's Argentina.
- They have excellent meat.
- Paraguay?
Argentina!
They always win Miss Universe.
Wrong!
That's Venezuela. 5 wins!
We're not going to Paraguay!
It was an example.
It's like saying Ghana.
What'd you do in Ghana?
Are you doing it on purpose?
Are you?
I'm going to Israel, Dad!
We're going.
- I'm against it.
- We're still going.
I'm against it!
Look, we're not joining a sect!
Don't talk to your mom like that.
You've been drinking.
When we talk,
we've been drinking!
The problem is,
you're ashamed of being Jewish.
And I was raised the same way.
That's why I'm leaving.
I want to know who I am.
Gefilte fish
and Yehudi Menuhin -
there's more to it!
Thank you
for spoiling your dad's birthday.
You say they're not like us.
I never heard you say,
"I'm Jewish".
Got a problem with that?
Are you ashamed?
Go on, say it: "I'm Jewish".
Don't be ashamed.
I want to say I'm Jewish.
I'm a Jew!
I'm a Jew!
I'm Jewish,
but I don't go looking for trouble.
Well, I am. I'll say it.
I'm Jewish,
and so are you, Mother.
Let's all say it.
Toi toi toi! I'm Jewish!
I'm a Jew!
How did thingamajig go?
Rabbi Jacob. How did he go?
That's it.
Sorry, that was 50 years
of repressed Judaism.
Gisle, did you put
this idea in his head?
What're you trying to prove?
Shut your face, Mom.
Don't worry, it'll be okay.
If it goes wrong,
you'll always have a job here.
It won't go wrong.
They promised him a great job.
Yes, I saw the fax.
- Are you happy?
- Oh, yes, very happy-
- And Gisle?
- She's delighted.
So, may God dilate you!
Right!
Thanks.
What are you doing?
Come here.
I won't kiss the carpet!
Come along. Something wrong?
It's nothing.
You have to go to the Jewish Agency
to put your papers in order.
It's Shabbat,
so it's shut until 8.
Why? I didn't think
the Jewish Agency observed Shabbat.
They're resting, sir.
It's their day off.
You're in Israel.
Over 3 hours to wait... Great!
Why did you ask for accommodation
at the hostel?
My wife's idea.
All the emigrants start off
in the hostel.
I'm not allowed to refuse.
Why do you all come here?
What attracts you?
The bombings, unemployment, the war?
We're Jewish.
There are no Jews here -
just Israelis.
So, what do you do for a living?
Lawyer, doctor?
- Don't tell me.
- Gynecologist.
- And I raised my son.
- Right.
Know how many
gynecologists there are?
- No.
- A lot.
It's a robot.
Are you sure it's here?
Looks bizarre to me.
Right...
okay...
You won't go to a hotel?
It's symbolic. I'd feel like
I'm on vacation in a hotel.
Right.
We won't last long here.
Well, Shapiro said the apartment
would be ready in 3 weeks.
Sure you want to stay here?
You think we can stay here?
Yeah, why not...
- Sure you want to stay?
- Yes.
It reminds me of your student room
back in the day.
Your passports.
The restroom's there.
The shower's in the hall.
Can we have a spare key?
This isn't a hotel!
Give me everything back
when you go. Clean!
1 saucepan.
2 forks.
2 plates.
1 electric kettle.
1 toilet brush.
1 roll of toilet paper.
Clean, too?
Your administrative forms
to be filled out and given in.
You have time.
Tomorrow, please.
Is there any hurry?
You want to become Israeli or not?
Well, we really did it.
We did.
You haven't called Nicolas?
- No.
- Well, now...
Really? That's better.
You're doing well.
Did you flush?
A thousand times.
Think it'll stop?
No!
Bravo. Thank you very much.
Good bye.
You were told we're full.
Don't stay here.
Yours is the only class in French.
You can't miss the start of a course.
I'll work hard, I'll catch up.
Talmud classes, Jewish thinking,
modern Hebrew...
You don't even know what you want!
I chose it all.
Unless you have other options...
Such as?
Dog training, knife throwing...
Go home. I can't help you, lady.
Good day!
- Good day!
- I'm not leaving.
What do you mean
you're not leaving?
- I left everything to come here.
- That's your problem.
I could do voluntary work.
I have lots of free time.
Will you ever leave me alone?
No.
I've been waiting 3 hours.
Is it always like this?
But I am French. I'm French.
I'd like you
to welcome a new student.
Hello.
I'm Rabbi Yossi Raphaelson.
Welcome to our group.
You missed the start of the year.
Are you familiar
with the concept of Tsimtzum?
Not really.
The Tsimtzum,
by the void it introduces,
represents the paradigm
of "indifference
in the undifferentiated".
The otherness in the separation,
the distancing, the differentiation
from which no fusion
will be possible any longer.
What are they doing?
strangling ducks?
Don't be mean. It's nice to have
a musical accompaniment.
Oh, what lovely eggs.
Very pretty...
Good morning.
Good morning, hon.
- Good morning.
- Yes, good morning.
Good morning!
Oh, I see!
Thank you very much.
Good.
- My name is Alain Gaash.
- That's easy.
No, "ima" means "mom".
Oh, yes, mom, right...
What language will you work in?
Except you!
Oh, come on!
Promise me
you won't work nights.
But of course!
You know...
I'm not as young as I was.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
Gaash! My friend!
What a nice surprise!
Pleased to see you.
So pleased!
Admiring Oswaldo, my hamster?
It's incredibly well-made.
The eyes... See that?
Looks like he's looking at you.
- You think so, too?
- Yes.
Very original.
Tell me... When did you arrive?
2 days ago.
I am pleased to see you!
Staying long?
I've moved here.
About that job you promised me...
- Sorry?
- You know, the job.
You did promise me a job.
And I was right to.
We need people like you.
SQ?
So... what?
Is Dr. Rosenbaum
still moving to Philadelphia?
- He still is.
- Ah, that's good.
But he's a bit behind schedule.
Family trouble.
He should be leaving
in 2 or 3 months, maybe 4.
- 4 months?
- Or 2.
But we don't earn much in Israel.
We envy you in France.
Look.
Recognize him?
He's a pal. We always have a game
when he comes to Israel.
He's a nice guy.
So, 2 or 3 months? Sure?
Certain. God willing.
In the meantime,
see something of the country.
- Do you know Galilee?
- No.
The north? It's magnificent.
Got a car?
- No.
- How do you get around?
By bus.
In Israel you need a car.
A fast, stylish car
that reflects who you are.
I think it's your lucky day.
Look at this beauty.
Weren't we being careful with money?
In Israel you need a car!
Don't worry about the money.
The job will be vacant
in 4 weeks, maybe 3.
They're keen to have me.
Quiet, isn't it?
Sure, there's nobody.
Maybe it's their day off.
They must've downed tools
the second we turned our backs.
There must be a simple explanation.
Yeah, we got screwed!
I never should have listened to you.
Shapiro's gonna hear from me!
There's a message in Hebrew!
How perverted is that?
Mr. and Mrs. Gaash, hi there!
Where's our apartment?
They said you were abroad.
Nice there?
Did they?
They should be ashamed!
Still, you've found me now.
You're a crook!
I'm glad my friends can't understand,
'cause that really hurts.
Would a crook live here?
The apartment
hasn't progressed at all.
I won't lie to you,
it's at a standstill.
A tiny problem
with planning permission.
It could take 3 months,
3 years, never.
Give us our money, Shapiro!
I'd love to, but I can't.
They froze the accounts.
Do you know where we're living?
Look, take a plate, eat something...
You can't buy us
with a couple of cutlets!
- I'll sort it out.
- Why trust you?
You have no choice.
I'll find something for you,
something nice.
- Soon?
- Soon. God willing...
What do you put in this sauce?
I had an urgent call.
Is the container here?
Mrs. Gaash, there's a little problem
with your container.
A problem?
Yes, just a small problem,
don't worry.
The ship did leave, it did arrive...
There was a problem on the way.
Damage in transit.
- Serious?
- No, not serious.
A tiny little storm.
They threw your container overboard.
- That's all.
- Pardon?
They threw it... overboard.
Our container?
They can do that.
It says so in the contract.
That's international maritime law.
What can I say? That's how it is.
Fortunately, you're insured.
Ah, here it is.
1,821 shekels?
I worked it out for you.
That makes 332.12 euros.
Sign here and I'll let you go.
332 euros?
All our belongings were in there.
Is that Tel Aviv?
What's going on?
You're an hour late.
We said 2:00 o'clock, it's 2:02.
No, we said 1:00.
No, 2:00.
- 1:00.
- No, 2. Well, never mind.
Your phone was off.
The battery's dead.
Where were you?
Doing things.
What things?
It's the first time in 25 years
you ask me that.
That's not true.
It's not. What were you doing?
We said 1:00.
- You already ate?
- I was waiting.
I was stressed out.
I only ate half.
But we said 1:00.
Well, enjoy your meal!
You avoiding me or what?
From the airport.
Gash, like you!
Simon!
Oh, I shaved off my moustache.
Don't I look younger?
So, you've moved here?
Mazal Tov! Lunch is on me.
Got an appointment?
They make me come everyday,
so who cares? C'mon.
I already ate.
I kept calling you.
Playing hard to get!
- I didn't want to impose...
- Let's eat.
My number's nearly up.
Don't you feel at home here?
Breathe in.
I breathe better.
Why did I wait 40 years?
Unbelievable!
Where's the certificate?
Pardon?
- What's wrong?
- It's not kosher.
- What?
- Problem?
You speak French?
Where's the kosher certificate?
You wanna eat kosher?
Eat at home!
You wanna tell me what to do here?
I'm Israeli born and bred,
I did military service.
Don't lecture me.
Now get out.
See this little logo?
That's kosher.
In three days, I open
my own restaurant.
I'll beat 'em all!
Are you asleep?
Soundly.
Maybe we did say 2:00 o'clock...
Good night.
I'm pleased to see you, my friend!
You called me. Any news?
I have some great news.
I booked a court for 5 PM.
I hope you're not busy.
I'm not busy, I don't have a job.
Well, a game of tennis
will cheer you up.
Can I start my job any sooner?
What did I say? Six months?
- No, three.
- Ah, yes...
Three months.
Remember Dr. Rosenbaum?
- Yes.
- Going to Philadelphia.
- Yes.
- His wife's pregnant.
- So?
- Well, that's it.
What's it?
He's staying. His wife wants
to give birth in Israel.
They'll leave in one or two years.
So, I have no job?
Exactly. You took the words
right out of my mouth.
Don't you have
any other special skills?
Such as?
Do you play an instrument?
Is this a joke?
Okay, I may have something for you.
Call my cousin, Ronny.
He may be able to help you.
He sometimes has vacancies.
Mr. Gaash!
Ronny Zimmermann.
I've heard a lot about you.
- When can you start?
- Right away.
What does the job involve?
Two sprays with the blue aerosol
on the plastic.
Use the yellow spray on the leather.
Then, take out the floor mats
and vacuum them.
You'll soon get the hang of it.
Siletsky?
There must be a misunderstanding.
I'm a gynecologist.
I need to practice
as soon as possible.
Thank you.
Don't help me, will you?
Maybe I should have told you, but...
I've met somebody.
You've met somebody?
An extraordinary person.
A brilliant mind.
He gives lessons on Jewish thinking.
It's fantastic.
You've nothing to say?
There's nothing to say.
He's picking me up.
I want you to meet him.
- He'll be here in 5 minutes.
- Here?
- Yes.
- Where'll we put him?
Hello!
My husband, Alain Gaash.
Rabbi Raphaelson.
Pleased to meet you.
Rabbi Raphaelson...
You're very young...
Funny...
I thought rabbis were all old,
with long, white beards
and dandruff...
Pleased to meet you.
This is for you. Some cakes.
There's some Hamentaschen,
Lokshen Kugel...
- and Apfelschnecken.
- Thank you. How kind.
Are you really a rabbi?
I mean, a real, real rabbi.
A rabbi with diplomas.
I've been a rabbi for four years.
I used to play sport.
He was in the national
beach volley team.
You've made it nice, Gisle.
I recognize your touch.
- What...
- I don't know what's wrong.
- Must be the heat.
- Go get a glass of water!
Here, sit down.
- Thanks.
- The water!
What you had planned
seems doubtful now.
This'll do you good.
We're going to study.
Isn't it forbidden on Shabbat?
- No!
- Can I come?
Sure. You're most welcome.
No, I'll stay here.
I have work to do.
I feel a bit better.
Alain, you're very lucky
to have a wife like Gisle.
Well, I'll see to the cakes...
Where were you?
I was worried to death!
You thought about me?
You left your cell.
I nearly called the police.
- You thought about me?
- Of course. Come to bed.
Can I lie down next to you?
You really thought about me?
Can I snuggle up to you?
My darling...
I have to tell you
something important
for you, for me, for our future.
We need to change.
I've thought it over, Alain.
You have to get circumcised.
Did you hear what I said?
I think I'm going to be sick.
Shit!
Scams, murders, burglaries...
All between Jews... It kills me.
I put my boy
in a religious school.
They insulted him.
He didn't understand.
He can't speak Hebrew.
Cheer up,
I got you the sports paper.
- today's?
'Yep, a present!
You're the best!
Coffee's on me.
No, you're working.
I don't want to disturb you.
Well, it's not exactly busy.
- They'll come for lunch.
- It's 3 o'clock.
It'll be full in the summer,
what with all the tourists.
You pick up French radio?
Sure, I've got the right gear.
Cherbourg and Brest,
41 degrees.
Paris and Nantes, 48 degrees.
Rain in Lyon...
Rain!
Great song.
I'm the heir of Place Dauphine
Place Blanche looks pale
The milk trucks are full of milk
The street sweepers full of brushes
It's 5:00 o'clock
Paris
awakens
Paris
awakens
The transvestites go shave,
The strippers get dressed...
Enough!
How are things with you?
Find a job yet?
Gisle wants me circumcised.
- You're not?
- Why does everyone ask that?
Is that all you're interested in?
You brought it up.
Yes, 'cause
she no longer wants us to make love.
- I'll show you.
- No need.
You'll want to have it done, too.
Here I come.
No!
Be reasonable.
What if someone comes in?
- Look.
- What?
Isn't that something?
Yes, but...
What's wrong?
Has an elephant escaped
from the circus?
Shit!
Mr. Gaash...
You know, you don't speak Hebrew,
you're not young...
All I can offer you right now
- is free vocational training.
- What kind?
Whatever you want. You choose.
Here are the brochures.
Computer skills, word processing...
I'm a gynecologist.
I don't want training.
Mr. Gaash, do you know how many
gynecologists there are in Israel?
A lot.
Get that.
Who was it?
Fabrice.
From that game show!
Who?
Go back to sleep.
Is it early?
I'm meeting a big professor...
a leading light...
Feibelman... I told you about him.
Must be a good sign.
I'll see what he offers.
I won't sell myself short, you know.
How are you?
Voluntary work isn't too hard?
Washing laundry and hanging it up...
never did anyone any harm.
Thank you, Gisle.
You're a big help.
Do you like music?
Oh, yes, with a passion!
What kind?
The classics.
Handel, Bartok?
Van Hahn, Aerosmith.
Yes, that's good, too.
Listen to this.
Oh, yes, it's...
It's dynamic!
I'm not in the mood.
You won't make love anymore?
What?
Just say so.
Just come out and say so.
I thought
Israel would bring us closer.
I'm trying so hard,
you turn your back on me.
I'll never get circumcised,
do you hear, Gisele?
Never!
This is you.
We operate...
And this is what's left.
There's plenty left!
You bleed a lot.
- Is it painful?
- No!
Five seconds, that's all. It's nothing.
NOW,
look at this short film.
It's not Bergman,
but it's instructive,
very instructive.
Circumcision in Hebrew is milah.
It means "cut",
although the complete expression
is Brit Milah.
Brit means "alliance",
the promise God made to Abraham,
then, to all the people of Israel.
- Are you getting all this?
- Sure. Brit Milah...
The cut... the Alliance...
The psychological impact
of circumcision
has been studied many times.
Sigmund Freud,
for example, asserted
that it could have
serious consequences
on the individual's
psychological state.
It increases homosexual tendencies.
An increase in aggressive emotions.
A loss of self-esteem...
Regressive tendencies.
Problems of...
of sexual identification.
But if you want my opinion,
that's all a pile of crap.
It's nice of you
to invite us to party with you.
It's only natural.
I'll help you fit in,
show you the real Israel.
We fit in very well.
Your friend's pretty.
Yona?
Yeah, not bad.
Her father wants us to marry.
I think he's right.
You'd make a fine couple,
right, Gisle?
Except she is
a world-champion lesbian!
What was that?
I said you're a lesbian.
She's like all girls her age.
She's brain-dead.
No...
Do rabbis normally smoke marijuana?
Alain, there are 613 commandments
in the Torah.
Not one says
not to smoke cannabis.
Nothing on humus, either!
Me?
You smoke now?
Hello.
- How are you today?
- Why do you ask?
Lie down.
I said, lie down.
Show me the little Gaash.
What?
You didn't shave, old man.
No-one told me to.
I give it a regular trim.
It goes down well!
OK, let's go.
C'mon!
Rivka!
- How about an anesthetic?
- No.
It'd be a pity
not to feel anything.
Just a little jab?
In 35 years,
you're my first adult!
They've all come.
Aren't you pleased?
I'm delighted, but you hurt me!
Can I see?
No!
C'mon, let's go!
They'll be gone in a week.
You have to imagine it
tastefully redecorated.
It's the Israeli style.
You're more France, Versailles...
Chteauroux!
We'll repaint all this.
There's a window here.
Another one there.
Two windows!
You'll love it.
I envy you.
But it's only temporary?
Yes, but nice temporary!
Excuse me!
Sorry about that.
- Who was it?
- Nothing important.
Who was it? I'm interested.
Your rabbi, wasn't it?
- Yes, it was Yossi.
- Handsome Yossi...
You go in the kitchen to talk?
- That's nonsense.
- Yeah?
You're always with him.
Yossi this, Yossi that...
I do all I can.
I even had my dick cut off.
And believe me, it hurts.
It feels like I'm peeing razor blades.
How could I have thought
that a woman
who wanted my foreskin off
could love me?
What next?
I play beach volley,
buy a G-string?
Rollerblade with a thong up the ass,
looking at the stars?
No way!
I'm not Yossi
and I never will be!
Is he a good lay?
There's nothing between us.
There is. Me. I'm leaving.
Couples ain't natural. It's like
piloting a submarine: gotta learn.
I better go. Gisle will worry.
One for the road.
She'll worry if I don't go home.
I don't want her to worry.
Well, I'll be going...
The heaviest case to carry
is empty.
You driving?
Drop me off in Paris!
Would you like a drink? Tea?
Alain's gone.
We had a fight. He yelled at me.
He's jealous.
He thinks I'm cheating on him.
And are you?
He thinks there's something
going on between us.
Interesting...
- Between you and me?
- Yes.
Did you say he was wrong?
Why? Is there really
nothing between us?
I think I'll make us some tea.
Can I sleep on your sofa tonight?
What is it, Gisle?
I couldn't sleep.
I made some French toast.
Do you like that?
And I finished the milk.
Kiss me.
SQ?
I can't.
Isn't that why you're here?
I'm sorry, I...
I didn't imagine it to be like that.
What did you imagine, Gisle?
I don't know.
That you were in love with me?
I don't know what came over me.
The picture
you must have of me now...
What picture?
Distorted, dirty, impure...
Appalling, right?
Is that all?
Alain's the man for you,
not your rabbi.
It's him, not me.
Check the register.
I know he stayed here.
Gaash.
Alain Gaash.
I have proof.
I found a parking lot ticket
in his pocket.
Just a minute.
You must have seen him.
Look closely!
He's my husband.
I know he stayed here.
Oh, sure, I recognize him.
He comes every day.
I think I saw him today.
Who was he with?
- Here you are.
- Thanks.
Well, it needs furnishing now.
- It's just temporary, right?
- Sure it is.
My cousin's good value.
He recovered my suite in suede.
There's no need. Our furniture
is arriving soon by ship.
We must sort that out.
It should've arrived weeks ago.
No need, the container's gone.
What's that you say?
The container's gone?
That's right. I went there.
It got damaged in transit
and they threw
the container overboard.
Well, I'll call you
as soon as I have any news.
Don't worry, we'll get 'em!
You didn't tell me.
Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Welcome!
I am neighbor corridor.
Nothing to break!
I want to break something!
What'll we do?
25 years of our life washed away!
Sure it's gone?
Who told you that?
The man told me
it happens a lot.
I don't give a damn!
I want my stuff!
It's okay. No one's dead.
We'll sleep on the floor,
then improvise.
I don't want to!
I'm sick of improvising!
I'm a gynecologist.
I refuse to improvise.
I want something concrete!
I'm concrete.
I don't believe it. Gisele, honey...
Come on, Gisle...
You're crazy.
Why didn't you tell me before?
25 years of our life washed away...
Now what?
Krapschnick, aged 67.
Former locksmith. I couldn't
leave you without a mezuzah.
I was the first
to move into the building in 1976.
Welcome!
Welcome.
The neighbor
put up a mezuzah for us.
Won't they ever stop bugging us?
Rosa heard that there was a problem
with your furniture.
Oh, shit!
Hello?
So, Mr Expat...
What am I? Chopped liver?
Michel?
Out of sight, out of mind!
You don't even call your old pal.
Oh, I'm swamped!
Got a job?
What do you think?
At the hospital.
That's great.
When do you get off?
Around 6:00 pm, as usual.
OK, I'll pick you up from work.
- What?
- I'm here for a conference.
You're in Tel Aviv?
- Proctology and Judaism.
- Great.
- I'll pick you up in 1 hour, okay?
- Yes... See you.
Not if I see you first!
Tel Aviv!
Shalom, colleague!
- How are you?
- I'm exhausted.
I haven't stopped.
Just finished
separating Siamese twins.
Good to see you.
I'll buy you a drink.
I didn't come
to visit the parking lot.
Show me around.
- But...
- Come on.
You see...
A big corridor, the patients...
They're the nurses.
The rooms are very comfortable.
Who are you?
Cheese, cheese.
He's an excellent proctologist.
Okay, we'll see you for dinner.
It's the same on all five floors.
How extraordinary!
See you tonight.
OK? Later.
Visit all five floors.
Thanks, Alain.
Good to see you both
looking so happy.
I mean it, you've adapted very fast.
At the time, I wouldn't have
bet a dime on your chances.
It's getting late.
When does your plane leave?
No, we're not leaving for two days.
Great! Come to our place
for dinner tomorrow.
No, that's not a very good idea.
Our furniture hasn't arrived yet.
Come, anyway, and see the apartment.
No? How about a nightcap?
I feel like dancing.
That's a great idea!
Let's not be a nuisance, hon.
Alain has to get up early for work.
He showed me around.
They're real specialists!
Tell me...
Do you communicate
in French or Hebrew?
Right!
It's time for bed.
I need 8 hours' sleep...
if I don't get 8 hours,
my hands shake.
True. It's essential
in his line of work.
It's like washing cars.
Apart from the overalls.
I don't work at the hospital.
I wash cars at the Intercontinental.
A doctor!
Excuse me.
Alain, I think
you should do something.
Go on, push!
Stop, stop. That's it.
Deep breaths. Calm down.
Take your time. Breathe.
Easy now...
Thanks...
OK, push, push, push!
Push! Push, that's it!
Yes! That's it!
You've done it!
A fine boy!
Hand me a cloth!
Thank you, Doctor!
You have a boy. A handsome boy!
What a nice surprise!
Do play a set with us.
I filled up with air and gas
and vacuumed her. Here...
Don't thank me.
Call me, okay?
I've nearly finished the first coat.
Come see.
What are you doing?
Put that down. Give me your hand,
we're going. Enough.
Going where?
Home. It's over.
- Home?
- Home to France.
Are you serious?
Take a look around you.
What are we doing here?
There's nothing for us here.
We're not from here.
Look at this place.
All the tenants gave us their trash!
What is this painting?
Do you like it?
It makes me feel sick!
I think it's pretty.
You've changed, Gisle.
We have to leave. I got you a ticket.
The plane leaves in 4 hours.
We're going home,
back to our real life.
- My real life is here.
- But what about mine?
Are you giving up
at the first hurdle?
What do you want to go back to?
We spent 25 years looking,
we finally found it.
And you don't even realize!
Come on, we're going home.
Here...
You're not listening.
Go if you want to. I'm staying.
You're not even a real Jew.
The flight's at 9:30.
I'll wait for you at the airport.
Last call for Mr. Alain Gaash.
Please come to Gate number eight.
Flight AF722 boarding immediately
for Paris Charles de Gaulle.
Thank you.
Let's start again.
Why did you check in that suitcase?
I've told you 100 times,
I'm going to Paris.
- Why Paris?
- I live there.
You live in Paris?
I lived there.
You said you lived in Tel Aviv.
Yes, I live in Tel Aviv.
Why were you going to Paris?
I don't know.
You don't know why?
Because I...
Because you live there?
No, I... I live in Tel Aviv.
Why didn't you get on the plane?
Why didn't you answer the calls?
I didn't hear...
I didn't understand.
My Hebrew is very bad.
You don't speak Hebrew?
Very badly.
Prove it.
Can you make holes
in the universe with your eyes?
We know
your mama sleeps with bunnies.
We have the photos.
You're very good...
The travel agency said
they sold you 2 tickets.
Yes.
It was for my wife.
For your wife?
Where is this wife?
In Tel Aviv.
Tel Aviv...
Gisle Gaash,
ne Carette.
36 Shalom Yehuda Street.
If you know the answers, why ask?
Why did you come to Israel?
Are you Jewish?
Yes, I am Jewish.
Do you know a Dr. Brant?
Yes, so what?
He circumcised you...
recently.
You're not Jewish.
Who are you?
Where are you from?
What do you want?
I'm tired. I want to go home.
Home... Where's that?
Home...
I'm tired.
I don't understand.
Eat, Alain, eat.
No...
Can I have a cigarette?
Help yourself.
Thanks.
She's gone to her mother's,
she'll come back.
I know.
I'm not always a great husband...
It's...
the build-up of stress...
No... It's...
Don't belittle yourself,
don't make yourself feel guilty...
She just needs some time.
She needs head space.
Understand?
There always comes a time when...
when this happens.
It's only natural.
Are you happy here?
It's okay.
Thank you.
Keep me posted, okay?
Thanks, Alain.
I understand.
I'm staying here.
You hear? I'm staying here.
Open up when you're ready.
Gisle go.
Gisle go!
Not understand? Gisle go!
Where?
Gisle, stop!
Gisle, you're making a big mistake.
Gisle Gaash...
Running away isn't a solution.
Turn around.
Turn around, Gisle Gaash.
Gisle, turn around.
You were right.
We're staying, honey.
- No, we're leaving.
- We're staying.
- We're leaving.
- We're staying!
- Leaving.
- We're staying, honey.
Okay, if you want, we're staying.
Are you sure?
Will you ever leave me alone?
- No.
- Oh God.