Hello, Mr. Tamalet.
Go on, do it.
No, you go.
Okay then, I'll go.
Move it! Enough is enough!
She's the girl of my dreams.
Ride your dream, bro.
He's into you.
Loser!
Nice jump. Are you okay?
Fine thanks.
I'm used to it.
Not used to wiping out, but...
Don't strain your eyes.
I was admiring your shorts.
They match your teeth.
Wait, Angie!
I thought
since you just got here...
maybe you'd like...
a knight in shining armor.
To show you around Paris...
Virgil, he's chatting her up.
Should I board-whack him?
No stress, Franklin.
This hotdog is lukewarm.
The catacombs! Ever been?
Yeah. Virgil took me
to a party there.
I have to go.
Give me your number.
I don't have a cell.
He closed his account.
Nagging ex.
Russian. Went berserk,
know what I mean?
I have to go.
Call when you get your...
cell phone.
Take mine! I'm Pierre!
Pierre with flair and red hair.
Peter the Tiger!
What are you talking about?
Forget it.
We're the kings of the world!
Mom?
Mom, are you still home?
I don't believe it!
Don't move
or I'll kill you for real!
Why is he here today?
For an hour.
I couldn't refuse.
Ice dragon in the fridge...
Yeah, right.
Go downstairs. Your mom's home.
Cool! Bye, Sid.
I'll clean up.
See you later.
I love you.
Can I have my birthday money?
- Now?
- Yes.
- What will you buy?
- I don't know.
It's all I can spare.
My big boy...
Enough, Mom!
Two Fritz Fries!
It's you. Still having trouble
adding up your checks?
Is your brain on strike?
Clear table 10.
And get their order.
See the time?
Sorry. I had homework.
- You don't need a PhD for frying.
- So I see.
What does that mean?
That you're right, Mr. Fritz.
You're right to say I'm right.
If you want to be
Rooster of the Month,
shape up, chickadee.
Yes, Mr. Fritz.
Good.
Mr. Fritz!
It's the 20th.
Can I get an advance
of fifty euros?
How much?
Forty?
Forty is...
Thirty?
- Twenty?
- That's not much.
Please Mr. Fritz.
My birthday's coming up and...
Thanks, Mr. Fritz!
I've always loved
making other people happy.
Happy Birthday!
I'd like a cheap cell phone.
My advice. Get the best.
How much?
Good news, Bobby.
Today's your lucky day.
Only 99 euros.
Nothing less expensive?
How much you got?
Thirty.
You need a plan?
A rechargeable card.
Thirty,
but you didn't buy it here.
There's nothing cooler?
Michael Douglas' phone
in "Wall Street. "
Or else...
Radio Com 2000. You want this?
Bobby,
if you want to blow their minds,
start saving.
It is your lucky day!
State of the art.
I-Smart, XHTML browser,
GPRS-compatible.
built-in double-headset,
P8F7, TZ4-3 and
a KGA-cam to share
life's special moments.
Hot sauce, instructions, charger.
It does everything but coffee.
It's 500 but for you, Bobby,
Amazing!
As Mao said: "Generosity brief
like wingspan of butterfly. "
Good battery life?
Don't know. It's broken.
For blowing their minds,
it's great.
Give me my money!
As Mao said:
"A deal's a deal, kid. "
It works!
I could never turn it on.
Give it back!
As Mao said: "Up yours!"
Check this out, Tiger.
- How much?
- 30 euros.
Thirty? Really?
I have a message!
"Your number is 0666 0666 06. "
And I don't even have a plan!
Take advantage of it, fast!
They chose me for the role!
I'm the one they chose!
She is too fresh, bro.
Chosen "Product of the Year. "
I'm finally going to be a star!
I'll tell you
all about the audition.
I'm so happy.
I love you, Angie!
You too, Margot!
- What show?
- It's The Hair Dryer.
"The Hair Dryer"
or "It's the Hair Dryer"?
It's The Hair Dryer.
I'll give her my number.
- You love your hair.
- I so love it!
Thanks so much, God!
Hush. I'm almost famous.
At the audition
they said they loved my hair.
I came to say
I got my new cell.
Wicked ugly! Wasn't there
anything redder and grosser?
Did you find it on eGay?
Toys for blind baby boys.
What brand is it?
No brand. I get it...
If you want to get together,
give me a call.
It's getting hot.
Don't hold your breath.
Yeah.
I'll think about it.
He's putting the make on you
with a totally gross cell.
All red and pathetic.
In New York a guy sent me
an SMS a minute to date me.
How classy!
- And?
- I gave him my Nana's number.
They must be having a ball!
She didn't take my number.
Forget her. She's a nitwit.
I downloaded
two John Wayne movies on it!
It sucks.
I'm waiting for the HP3.
It's 3 times better.
Move. Only poor people cram.
The first row's taken.
Go kiss ass on Tatooine.
- How's your mom?
- Shut up, Franklin.
- You like that we jack off on her?
- I had a ball!
Soupir, Bijaoui,
It's not Sid's fault! I...
Okay, D'Harcourt. You too.
Anyone else? No?
Page 56.
Variable temperature.
We all jack off on her...
This classroom
is not a microwave oven.
Thank you.
Who can tell me about Celsius?
I can!
A temperature scale
based on decimal thermometry,
created in 1742
by a Swede, Anders Celsius.
Very good, Charlotte.
Absolute zero equals "t"
and zero equals
-273. 15 degrees Celsius.
- Who can tell me...
- I can!
Except Charlotte,
who doesn't even know my question.
What is the coldest substance
used by man,
nearing absolute zero?
Sid Soupir's brain.
Very funny, Husson.
But you're wrong.
It's liquid nitrogen.
-196 Celsius...
Hellll-o, Margot.
Your friend barfs
at the color red.
Let Hell's flames
lick her head.
You startled me...
It's so damn hot in here.
I'm burning up!
We were studying the Celsius scale.
I guess...
I lit the Bunsen burner
to see if it worked.
You're facing suspension,
maybe even expulsion,
and all you do is guess?
I swear.
I can't remember a thing!
She got the call
then lit the hair.
Who called?
I don't know.
I can't remember.
Nn!
Momo!
Be careful.
He'll lock you up.
In the tank!
Enough, Tamalet.
Margot, can I see your phone?
Private number.
You can go.
I never meant to hurt her.
I swear, Clemence is my friend.
My best friend since kindergarten.
When I walked into the class,
she's the first girl I saw.
I could never have done that.
You see these fish?
I watch them all day long.
They manage to communicate
from bowl to bowl.
These fish are more evolved
than we are.
Don't you agree, Lieutenant?
Look, Sid. 40 euros
for a bag of Speed Demons!
Can I help you?
Is Ben here?
No, Ben retired.
This place is mine now.
He retired at 27?
Who are you?
You here to bust my balls?
That's my wife!
Hands-off,
eyes and dicks too, okay?
These cost 28 last week...
If my prices are too high
try the supermarket!
It's too much.
If you want, this is 17 euros.
Like it? And this is free.
People in boardsports
are usually cool.
I'm sorry. What's your problem?
It's not mainstream enough here?
Too underground?
I may sell boards
but with you I'm just bored.
Now get lost.
Sushi, did you hear my joke?
Amazing!
He's a total asshole!
I almost beat his face in!
Right...
- Almost, I said.
- Yeah, right... almost.
"Angie, I've never
met anyone prettier. "
No, that's not it.
Your eyes are rubies
lighting my nights.
Unless her eyes are brown.
I can't remember.
Have you been to Italy?
No?
Neither have I.
Angie, you're hot.
You're too hot. I'm hard.
Thinking of you gets me hard.
You're hot.
Hello?
Sid?
Angie? How long
have you been on the line?
In fact... rubies are red...
As for Italy...
I wasn't talking to you...
I take Swedish experimental
class theater.
I mean theater class.
Experimental porn?
No. Swedish.
- It's Swedish.
- Is it?
Invite me to the opening.
No.
I mean yes. Okay.
Why did you call?
No reason. Just to say hi.
Okay. So hi.
Hi.
Okay, so bye.
How embarrassing.
Dialed Numbers
Margot.
You're still here? You'll be late!
So long, honey.
I'm in Math.
I'll call you later.
So so sorry
Screw U!
My cell was in my bag.
I never touched it.
So she called you.
- It was a Dialed Number.
- So your cell dialed it alone?
I'm too hot!
- But it called Angie.
- You hit the wrong button.
- I don't know her number.
- Lay off the chicken.
- Soupir!
- Yes?
Zero for talking.
Lower your average a bit.
But...
Bastard.
Stand up.
I asked you a question.
You heard it, I assume.
Sure.
And the answer is...
e to 1 minus 3x
over 1 plus e to minus 3x.
I said... no calculators.
I don't have one, I swear!
Pass that up.
They do advanced math now?
I'm sick of these cell phones.
I warned you.
That's illegal!
Two hours detention.
Six hours in one week!
See? You're finally
getting good at Math.
I brought your chalk back.
Sorry!
Give me that.
He's crazy. Is it trashed?
- Not a scratch.
- Can I see?
It showed the answer.
Maybe someone sent it by SMS.
Not them.
Their six IQs combined is 2.
How about a weekend in Venice?
Why not? I love Italians.
Someone's making fun of us.
Happy Birthday, Sid
Hello, ma'am. Is Pierre in?
Bonjour, Servus, hello, Sid.
He's in his Zimmer,
in his room, in the chambre.
Yeah, here I am!
I thought you had no cours,
no Schule,
no class this morning.
We have to go to the library.
To work on our Physics.
Thank you, Sid.
What would he do without you?
Beats me.
I pray for you and your mom.
Save it for my report card.
See you later!
Strudel!
- It knew it was your birthday?
- God knows how...
Get rid of it, Sid.
Take it back. Trade it in.
No way.
This phone is special.
Hitler was special too.
I'll give you 30 euros
to throw it away.
It gave me a free number,
called Angie alone,
answered in Math,
and wished me "Happy Birthday. "
That's what scares me.
Hand it over.
It's Sid's birthday today.
Six hours of detention totally sucks.
Can you help us out?
Please?
I was freaking.
I was up all night.
Hello?
Mr. Tamalet's office.
Principal's Office
Miss Fleury!
I can't hang up!
Hello. This is Sid Soupir.
Hello, Mr. Tamalet.
No, it's Sid Soupir.
I recognized you, Mr. Tamalet.
She thinks I'm Tamalet.
Vanessa, listen up.
I decided to cancel
the boys' detention.
Yes, sir. I'll call downstairs.
Anything else?
Yes, I decided to change
the cafeteria menu.
From now on, McDonald's Party!
Big Macs, fries and Coke for lunch.
Real Coke.
- You mean for the students?
- That's right!
And...
stop wearing underwear!
- This is so wild!
- You're telling me?
- Come on...
- Where to?
This is Aladdin's lamp!
What are you doing?
In case we only have 3 wishes.
Hey phone, can you organize
a little trip for me?
Cut it out!
Calling A Travel Experience
Go for Hawaii!
Mr. Mazeau?
Chewbacca.
Squirrel.
Hamster.
Raccoon.
Guinea pig.
It was a pig from New Guinea.
It was...
a Guinea pig.
You're dynamite!
Come back...
Chinchilla alert!
They destroy eggs
by dropping them to the floor.
Anything else?
Aladdin would kill
for these sandals.
Yo bro,
we're the kings of the world!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Go on, swallow...
Go on.
It's so good.
This is so good!
Again.
- I need to ask a favor.
- Whatever you want.
Tomorrow I'm seeing
my dad and his twat.
Can I use your phone
to get my parents to make up?
No.
What?
- I need it.
- What for?
I don't know. To try stuff.
I get it.
No, Tiger!
I know it sounds weird...
but I think I should stay with it.
It's like it chose me.
Don't stare like that.
It's my cell, bro.
Okay, take it.
Thanks.
Anti-Redhead Activated
It really is in love with you.
Are you crazy?
I told you.
It's all mine.
- How are you?
- Okay...
D'Harcourt,
say hi to mom.
Assholes!
Very funny, guys...
Let me go!
Close your eyes.
It's PG-13.
Help! Her Macintosh iPod!
Help us!
Shit! Get moving, guys!
My bag!
Wait! My bag!
- You okay?
- Careful!
Go on, get them!
Beat their faces in!
Follow me!
I know the way!
- There they are!
- Bastards!
They're dead meat!
We've got them!
Hello, Sid! Hello, Sid!
- You did tai-chi?
- Catechism.
- Choirboy?
- I'm a lousy singer.
She's crazy!
They stole her iPod.
- Arrest them.
- Let me go!
Thanks.
This belongs to me.
Get going.
And keep her on a leash.
I wish.
You're some skateboarder!
Actually I forgot a lot.
What can I do to thank you?
Nothing, honestly.
I do this every day.
If you're free,
we can go have dinner.
Sorry...
I need to study for the History test.
I haven't begun.
Want the topic?
Why do guys
always show off with me?
I'm not Virgil.
Come with me.
- Virgil is the phone's 2nd victim.
- So?
Throw it away! In the garbage.
Or drown it.
Finito, terminada, kaputt.
And the History topic?
It's going too far.
Tiger, relax.
It's not like anyone's dead.
Call Fouque.
Go on, angel.
Think about it, Sid.
This is serious.
- Hello?
- Mr. Fouque?
Is that you, Soupir?
He recognized you.
He hears you! Hang up!
Can I have the topic
for tomorrow's test?
Of course, Soupir.
"The French Empire
from the 1850's to 1960".
Thanks, sir.
Colonization?
The bastard said
not to study that!
Is that all?
No, I have an idea.
Out with it, boy.
Really? You think so?
I'll think about it.
- It's awesome!
- Do we give it another chance?
- What about the victims?
- They asked for it.
We have a bald bimbo
and a one-armed bully.
Get rid of that cell phone!
For my birthday,
a Mexican porn movie!
Let me go!
Hitting on my babe?
She's not yours.
I'll tell you once, Soupir.
Forget about her.
Dream on!
What's happening?
Did you just hit puberty?
- Hair starting to grow?
- I'm not scared.
Shit.
Hold on, don't move.
I'll help you, okay?
Virgil!
You're playing with your life.
You hear?
Feeling better?
I'll make you sorry.
Hurt you real bad.
Sid, don't!
Go right ahead. Be my guest.
No, Sid!
- He busted my car and my arm.
- How will you jerk off?
I have no idea what happened!
Strike.
No, Sid!
Hellll-o, Virg...
Are you retarded or what?
You know what, guys?
Sid promised Angie
the topic for tomorrow's test.
You know the topic
and don't tell your friends?
He hates the new color
of your car.
Touch him again
and you'll regret it.
We have plenty of time.
No math. Mazeau's absent.
Chill, Virgil.
If he gives Angie the topic,
you'll get it too.
Get my bag.
Your cast must really hurt.
Move it, I'm in pain.
Asshole!
I'm gonna get laid!
You okay?
I hope you bag your babe.
Time's up!
Hand in your tests.
Stop writing.
Here, sir.
I answered everything!
- Hasta la vista, Tinky Winky.
- Cool color.
Not bad, huh?
Except for the fringes.
Killer look!
One Big Mac each!
Big Mac, fries, Coke.
It's better than Hanukah!
- Nice haircut, Angie.
- Who did it? Margot?
How did he get the topic?
You and your friends
could have thanked him.
Only poor people thank.
Thanks.
- For you-know-what.
- De nada.
Eat with us.
Come on.
Come on!
Don't let me go alone!
You're not eating?
No...
I'm not too hungry.
Thanks so much
for the hair solidarity.
Thank you.
It means a lot to me.
Can I cut your meat?
That must be
a Soupir family tradition.
Men cut meat for men.
Shut up.
Funny guy.
- Soupir never told you?
- Enough, Virgil.
His dad dates a go-go boy.
Actually he stopped dancing.
I bet he did.
When your dad finished,
could he even walk?
When his dad finished what?
Call Virgil.
You can be an ass.
Cool it. Just chill.
Yeah, I'll go chill.
- Who did you call?
- What's up?
Girls, this is for you!
You, Miss, stay to the end.
You, music!
Everyone, together!
Get down from there now!
For you, Angie!
What smooth moves!
Watch this, bitch!
Husson!
Enough of this nonsense!
Everyone in my office!
Not just your Cooper is mini!
Want a real man, Angie?
At least you won't suffocate!
Are you okay?
I'm fine, thanks.
Sorry about lover-boy.
All we did was kiss a little.
Still...
You're so sweet.
It's you who needs consoling.
I'm used to them.
- I need to say something.
- Me too.
What you did was great.
Defending your father
and his friend...
Life's like
a box of chocolates.
You never know
what you're gonna get.
Virgil and I
were supposed to see a movie...
- You want to go with me?
- No, forget it.
No, let's. I'd really love to!
Okay. Pick me up Saturday at 7.
Seven it is!
What a knock-out!
I thought it was my mom!
Did you mutate?
You doing a Polo fashion show?
Not a hint of Polo here.
- What smells?
- Why are you here?
- Excuse me?
- What?
What what?
What?
AC/DC. The concert.
Angus is in Paris, dude!
I'm sorry. I spaced it out.
Julien's working your shift.
- We've planned this for weeks.
- I know.
So shed the clown suit
and let's go.
I'm going out with Angie.
What?
I invited her out.
Actually she invited me.
Is this you, Sid?
Is this you?
I spent 6 hours in line
for these.
I'll take a bombshell over AC/DC.
Your cell nuked you.
No. I'm 17 now. That's all.
Can't you see the change?
The penguin suit, the attitude.
Even what you think! Enough Sid!
AC/DC is playing
and you talk of bombshells!
Listen to me!
The concert's not the problem.
This is your problem.
This is my big break.
I can't let it pass me by.
If you want to stay a loser,
I'm not stopping you.
How can you talk like that?
You can't understand.
We're too different.
Earth to Sid!
I'm your best friend, remember?
Siamese twins since the age of 3.
We're not brothers.
Your parents are loaded.
We have everything else
in common.
Skateboard, AC/DC.
Our fathers both left.
Same month too.
- Mine left for another guy.
- My mom was a Playboy bunny!
Good night.
Bye. I'll be back early.
Are you okay?
I'm going to Cuba...
The land of Che.
Can you imagine?
What are you wearing?
I traded my comic book collection
for this on eBay.
It's crazy.
Why are you going to Cuba?
I don't understand.
It says:
As one of our faithful customers,
A Travel Experience
invites you "All the Way to Che".
First class...
- Five-star hotels...
- Where do you see that?
The cross... I mean the star...
This is crazy. It's crazy...
Can I borrow money for a taxi?
Sure, honey. Why not take a limo
while you're at it?
- You don't understand.
- I do.
I understand if she likes you,
she'll take the subway.
All the way to Che!
- What about my Lego house?
- I can't.
Please.
What's on your hands? Nutella?
You know how much this suit cost?
Pain in the neck!
Is Fritz okay for tonight?
He said so!
And if not he can go die.
I'll tell you the problem.
Every night
I want to see your face
here at ten and Soupir's at seven.
What's the difference?
We switched shifts.
The difference is
there are rules.
We all need rules and order.
What if we breaded
before we battered?
Or if the sun stopped
orbiting the moon?
Something is definitely
out of orbit with you.
Mr. Wiseguy!
When Columbus
discovered the moon,
he had no idea you'd be working
till 1 a. m. That's right!
- 1 a. m. ?
- Yes. Soupir is fired!
You'll do two shifts
for the price of one!
Open your mouth
and you'll get breaded
before battered!
Of course.
- You okay, Dad?
- Perfect.
And it's "Mister Fritz".
You must be Sid.
Hi. I'm Angie's mom.
Go on, she's upstairs.
That's Tara.
She's gentle as a lamb.
Big dogs scare me.
Yeah but...
She's part of the family.
Yeah, I know...
Wow! You too...
- You're not answering?
- What?
The phone?
It's my mom's line.
Take care. She's an original.
- I love my sculpture.
- Mom...
- It's signed by Mike Bullet?
- Yeah.
Eddy, I'm Mike. Angie's father.
You're his daughter?
Finally a friend
who knows modern art.
You know
you have a very geometrical face!
Do you pose?
Think it over, Eddy.
That there...
is me.
It's "Sid", Dad.
Okay, let's go.
Goodbye.
Any problem, just call!
Mike Bullet's daughter!
- Your car?
- At midnight it becomes a pumpkin.
- Student permit?
- You can be my teacher!
Did you turn the heat on?
It's like a furnace.
This is poor-boy music.
I have much better.
- Feel like stripping?
- Shut up.
And turn that off.
You two want to kiss?
Make it fast. I won't look.
I blacked out.
I remember my phone rang
and that's it.
That's weird...
Margot got a call
before starting the fire.
So what?
And I got a call before the crash.
But I can't remember from who.
World Mobile: "Use our plan
or plan your funeral!"
Screw you!
Who do you keep sending
messages to? Your mom?
Screw you!
Save your psychological problems
for a shrink.
I'm gonna kill you!
Shut up, you two.
Go talk to Angie.
Because I won't spend all night here!
You see that?
It's Soupir!
In your dad's car!
- They're in your dad's car!
- Drive!
Drive, I said! Drive!
I have to tell you something.
It's hard to believe...
My cell is pretty special.
Shit, I left it in the car!
Too scary for you, Pampers?
You steal my date,
my babe,
and my dad's car?
He lent it to me.
He likes it more than my mom.
It's his car.
He won't even let me drive it yet.
He's right.
Get the keys. We're history!
This car is sweet!
I can't believe they did that.
- Go to the cops.
- I can't.
Why not?
The car isn't mine.
I borrowed it from Virgil's dad.
You didn't.
I did.
You live in a museum.
With an Aston Martin
and a garage full of others.
- And your clothes...
- I have stuff.
So what?
Well I don't.
Girls who have it all
like boys who have it all.
Judge a book by its cover
and count those chickens.
You don't need to dress
like a Polo ad to exist.
Sorry.
You're right.
This jacket
is so uncomfortable.
High heels may look good...
but they really hurt.
Nice!
You're right.
And your tie...
it's not too tight?
And your dress?
Don't worry.
Virgil will return his dad's car.
I'm not worried about his car.
It's the cell phone
I left inside.
We're not going to chase it down.
You'll get it tomorrow.
I told you.
It's different from other cell phones.
It's special.
Look! Pampers forgot his phone!
Toss it!
Hey guys! It's ringing!
This is Sid Soupir.
Hellll-o Franklin!
Sid Soupir...
is not your peer...
What am I doing here?
Hey guys! I fell out!
I'm totally unharmed!
I fell out!
SMOKING KILLS
Did you like the movie?
Yeah... I loved it.
Can you call Virgil
for my cell?
- You're obsessed with it.
- It's one-of-a-kind.
Sid Soupir?
You know what? Follow us.
- Come on.
- What's wrong?
- Keep away from him!
- What now?
He told Franklin to jump!
He casts cell spells!
- He's a psycho!
- Virgil, David: go home to bed.
- Lock him up!
- It's the truth!
- That's why we came here!
- Don't let him make any calls!
Careful, Angie.
He's a sicko!
Sit.
I had a baby, haven't slept all week.
I'm not in the mood.
So I'm only going to ask once.
Is this your phone?
Yeah it's his.
What's going on?
Franklin Tour is dead.
- What?
- He jumped out of a car.
His friends claim Sid called
and persuaded him to jump.
He was friends with my son.
A bully, but not suicidal.
Listen kid.
I may have size 14 feet,
but I'm no clown.
Did you steal an AC Cobra
license number 25 LKY 75
registered to Victor Husson?
- No, he lent it to me.
- So why was it reported stolen?
Can I see your student permit?
Shall we start from the beginning?
Name, address...
Captain Hook
Lieutenant Hook here.
No, "Lieutenant".
Sure thing.
Who cares about a dead kid
and a stolen Cobra?
Case closed.
Here's your phone, kid.
Can I have you shown out?
We're fine, Captain.
Lieutenant.
Nighty night, kids.
- Unbelievable...
- Have a blast!
What happened in there?
You should have seen his face.
Like a fried chicken wing.
Imagine his tombstone:
"Here lie the remains
of Mr. Fritz.
"Bring your own barbeque sauce".
Dialed numbers: Captain Hook
You okay, Sid?
Sorry I have to go.
Go home. I'll call you!
Wait! You can't do this to me!
Why did you do this?
What did I do?
Why? Tell me!
I LUV U
Pierre!
Tiger!
Mrs. D'Harcourt?
Mon petit sucre,
my Zucker, my sugar!
You know how
to drive a woman wild!
I almost had an orgasm
au telephone.
am Telefon, on the phone.
Fais-moi l'amour,
make love to me.
You got it wrong.
Mein Strudel,
my apple pie,
mein Wienerschnitzel,
Give me your Knudel.
- Take my Knudels. They're yours.
- Stop it!
Let's combine our Knudels.
You bastard!
It's the phone!
Your phone turned you
into an asshole.
I need your help!
Tiger!
Mrs. D'Harcourt!
The game ends here, my friend.
Get out your tool,
my little handyman!
Ambulance?
Where did you come from?
We are standing in front of
the world's largest necropolis
containing the bones of
- brace yourselves -
six million Parisians.
From the Duc d'Orlans
to Mr. and Mrs. What's-his-name...
Let's move forward.
This bottomless pit is bottomless,
but still 520 feet deep...
Go back where you came from.
- So long, honey.
- Bye, princess.
- Have a good trip.
- You'll miss your plane!
I was right.
- Franklin and Fritz...
- It's no coincidence.
Not in one night.
Your boyfriend's a killer.
Long-distance. One call kills.
Sid didn't make any calls.
He never left my side.
It's obviously him.
It's obvious
that it's obvious!
What is it, Angie?
His phone called by itself.
In a plastic bag, alone.
Then the cop's phone rang.
He answered and became...
really nice.
And he let us go.
We'll be late for Spanish.
I think this is yours.
Be careful, next time.
You could have busted it.
Tiger...
Everyone's talking.
I'm glad you're here.
I'm happy to see you, dude.
I heard about Fritz too.
I was really scared that you...
You were right, Tiger.
I can't destroy it,
can't shut it off.
I can't lose it!
There must be a way to stop it.
- Answer, Sid
- No, don't!
Okay, we'll talk.
If I start acting weird,
knock me out.
Hellll-o Sid.
You're the one
my heart chose.
The hour of your death
rings close.
It's a machine!
In you I live,
in you I hide.
Friend or foe?
You can decide.
You're not me!
You don't live in me!
We don't belong together!
I don't love you! Go away!
I know the girl
for whom you lust.
For our love to live,
die she must.
Okay, the phone works alone!
But Sid's innocent!
Don't answer!
You think his phone is...
Is what? The devil phone?
Yeah, maybe.
You wanted to scare me?
Nice try!
Now I'm getting the heebie-jeebies.
You should have seen your faces!
It was way too funny.
It's your mother.
Hello, Mom?
- Who's there?
- Just a friend. What is it?
Lower the flame under my resin.
I may be late.
You'll be fine, babe.
Listen, babe, hands off.
Why don't you all
just get the hell out?
It's Mom!
It's Mom!
It's Mom!
It's Mom!
It's Mom!
It's Mom!
It's Mom!
It's Mom!
What a mess.
It's Mom!
It's my mother.
Yeah, he's here.
She wants to talk to you.
Your mother?
That's a toothpick.
- Is she deceased?
- Yes.
But I'm still a virgin!
Stop it! Don't start!
Shut up!
You fucking killed him.
Tara, come back!
Tara, heel! Heel!
Let me.
I'm good with dogs.
I'll take care of it...
- Nice little doggy.
- David!
Me David, friend of Milou.
Sit now!
Sit!
Like a poodle.
Don't insult it.
Oh my God! Stop it!
- But you looked weird.
- Yeah, right.
You always look weird.
Angie?
Maybe she left for school.
Let me ring!
- You okay?
- No.
Stop it!
Come this way!
- Unbelievable.
- Damn...
It's me, Mom!
Who's the old cow?
My mother!
- She'll be fine. I hope.
- How awful!
Awful!
Margot, David, Virgil, Clemence
are all dead in the kitchen!
- What?
- The police!
- It'll call them right back.
- Destroy it, Sid.
I tried! Water, hammer,
blow-torch, microwave!
Not a scratch!
It's indestructible!
Mom's compactor!
It'sforpressingthemetal.
It'shydraulicandincrediblystrong!
What was that?
- Who killed the dog?
- I did.
Tiger!
Come here!
Sid!
Put it there.
A 5-letter code.
Sucks!
That's not her style.
Rodin.
Doesn't work!
- It doesn't work!
- Monet.
- Csar.
- The Emperor?
The sculptor.
He makes... like your mom's.
Zidane!
- Start it!
- We need a 5-letter code!
Try "Angie".
It works!
It's over.
It's over.
Okay, it's dead.
No, we're dead.
"We're dead"
doesn't sit well with me.
Dad always said if you fall,
back on the board.
So stand up
and figure this out.
Got an idea?
Maybe.
- What is it?
- I better not tell you.
Hurry up!
As you can see, sulfuric acid
is incredibly corrosive.
Can you kill a cell?
Go back out. You're too late!
Please!
This cell phone must be killed!
Where's everyone?
All dead!
D'Harcourt,
what did you smoke?
Ouch!
Don't answer your phones!
Don't pick up!
No, Charlotte!
- That felt good!
- Miss Jolimont!
If you answer,
I'll whack you!
The three of you...
What?
The three of you,
to the principal's.
Can you stop a cell
from calling?
Yes, I...
- Answer!
- Sure I know.
How?
Shut it off.
I just told you that we can't!
Sir, they've gone bananas.
Take this!
It's for you, Mrs. Ronssin!
Answer it!
Are you okay, Mrs. Ronssin?
Mrs. Ronssin...
Remember when Cecile
wouldn't date you?
- What?
- I told her you were gay.
Why tell me now?
We're gonna die.
Oh shit.
Tallyho! Let's go!
Run guys, tallyho!
I have to tell you.
- I love you.
- Oh yeah? Thanks.
I was hoping...
Sorry but we never
had much time for...
you know what.
You're right.
Come on.
Your hands are cold.
What?
Angie, you're a genius!
Grab the phone.
At minus 196 Celsius...
All matter freezes!
I h8 U Bitch
My feet are cold.
Give me a hand!
Here I am!
It's mine!
Let me through!
Tiger!
The container!
Throw it!
Hellll-o, Peter.
Kill them, Tiger.
Kill Sid for me,
and my Prince you will be.
Tiger... my lover.
How did you do it?
- What?
- How did you do it?
I stopped by the infirmary.
I love you, bro!
I love you too.
I love you too.
Thanks, Tiger.
Good thing I came.
My best buddy!
Remember you told Cecile
I was gay?
I told her you had scabs
on your balls.
We're at the deepest part.
Deep 500 or deep 10,000?
Deep enough
that we can put this behind us.
Go on.
We're not making a mistake?
Shouldn't we give it
to the police?
Or keep it, just to make sure?
"My precious... "
It's nice spending a weekend
together in London.
I'll go for a walk.
Back in a minute.
Goodbye you all...
Does anyone happen
to have a Kleenex?