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Her Side of the Bed (2018)
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[slow paced music] I took out a photograph From my collection Of the first day I opened my heart You sat by a tree You said you're my only bee I kissed you on the cheek My sweetheart A very small kiss Like the ones you won't miss We promised that we'd never part [slow humming] Now I walk without shoes With the first morning rain There's nothing to say I love you And you're throwing me away Like a can of hairspray I can't hold it in Still in love She lives. She breaths. Come on. She speaks. Rach, did you break up? [faint sobbing] [loud rock music] He met someone else. In front of all his friends he just told me "I met someone else." So I just left. He didn't even give me a warning. Let alone a chance to even say how I feel. I did everything for him. Oh, I know. You've just got to put a positive spin on it, right? You'll have plenty to write about. You know what? I'm just going to call him. I'm going to say "You made a terrible mistake"... No you won't, because you lost your boyfriend, do you want to lose your dignity too? I just need closure. He doesn't want you. Why is that not closure enough? [Rachel] Please just let me call him. I just want to hear his voice. Serious? Move along, people! Nothing to see here! Give her a break! She just got dumped by a guy named Goux. What did you say? His last name is Goux. It's French. I don't care. What? Are you going to marry a guy named Goux? Be Rachel Goux? Oh. Pardon me, Mr. and Mrs. Goux. Yeah, your table is ready. Okay, Nicole. Plus, he's a straight up goo. Like, I'm very surprised that he found someone else because who the hell would want to be with him? I want to be with him? Why? You are talented. You are intelligent. You can be very funny when you're not throwing yourself a pity party. Although I do see how this can be funny from like a tragic point of view. Mmm mmm. You're beautiful. Okay? You're going to find somebody worthy of you. He's not. He's a goo. [Rachel] More bubbles. Yeah, you want some more champagne? [Rachel] Yeah. Bottomless mimosas for you. [Rachel] I want... Ah, we found the bottom. There is no bottom, nope. I'm going to go upstairs and change because I've been wearing the same clothes for 31 hours. You know what? You smell like it. Oh, thank you. Awesome. Fuck you. Oh, I love you too. Kisses. What the fuck? Nicole, where's my bed? Fuck. I'm sorry? What's that? I can't hear you. You got rid of my bed? About that. Um, you weren't living here. I was paying rent. I wanted a meditation space. You can't even sit still for five seconds. How are you going to meditate? Are you kidding? Look at me, I'm Zen as fuck. You can literally mediate anywhere. Okay. I'm going to be real with you. I traded your bed for an ounce of weed and an army jacket. You traded it for what? For an ounce of weed and an army jacket. An army jacket? It's vintage from one of the world wars. Well I hope it's bulletproof because that bed was $4,000. And a graduation gift from my great aunt, who is recently deceased. So, namaste. I'm tapping into my third eye chakra right now, and I'm getting the feeling that you're upset. But you're going to share my bed, and we're going to be cuddle buddies, and it's going to be awesome. You're buying me a new bed. [faint knocking] Who's that? It's Cameron. What the fuck? We had plans, motherfucker. The world doesn't stop spinning because you got dumped by a goo. Oh, great. Because what I really wanted to hear was a 28-year-old loser from Bed-Stuy wax philosophically about existentialism. Oh hi, Cameron! Rachel, a pleasure, as always. Oh take off your shoes. We wouldn't want any track marks. Ha, ha, cute, cute. So, what are we celebrating, girls? Oh, we are actually celebrating Rachel, who has just today been emancipated from the shackles of Richard Goux's oppressive regimentation. Free at last, free at last! Thank God almighty we are free! To freedom. And to getting along? [loud rock music] So what did you even like about that guy, anyway? I don't know, stability? Yeah, well you're better off without him. Thanks, Cameron. Have you been with anyone since? [loud laughter] What do you mean "been with"? You know, "known" in the Biblical sense. I don't know, lain with. We broke up this morning. It's never too early for a rebound fuck. That's like the whole point. Oh you would, wouldn't you? I'm far from ready for that. What do you got to get ready for? You just lay down and spread your legs. Emotionally ready. This just further proves my theory. And which theory is that? That women can't separate sex from emotion. Whereas men can. Why? Because of the primal urge to spread their seed? Misogynistic bullshit. Hey, I'm not a misogynist, okay? I love women. Okay, that's real rich. [imitates pig] Thank you. [loud drumming] [Rachel] So let me get this straight. You can have sex with somebody, and never think about them again? [Cameron] Correct. [Rachel] I don't understand. [Cameron] I don't expect you to. You're a woman. [Rachel] I don't see what that has to do with anything. [Cameron] It's just sex. Okay, pardon me, excuse me. I have, I have a question. Is that how you justify having fucked a dude? Oh, come on. Wait, you fucked a dude? I did not fuck a dude. Oh, that's right, he fucked you. Wait, so he fucked you or did you... [Cameron] He did not fuck me. Just tell her the story. Okay. Fine. Yes. [faint clapping] Story time. So, we had this gig in Chelsea and afterwards I'm hanging out at the bar and this guy comes up to me and asks if I want to come over and do some coke? So I told him "Yeah." Naturally. And he says to me "Hey, I really like feet. "Is that okay with you?" Yes. So I was just like "Whatever." We're sitting on his couch and after, you know, a few lines of coke, he comes up to me and he removes my shoes. And I'm thinking, like, "Okay, he's going to give me like a foot massage "or something like that." So then he pulls down his pants... His dick rock hard! He takes my feet, presses them together, spits on it, and proceeds to fuck the hole in between my feet. No. It gets better. Just as he's about to finish, he looks me dead in the eyes and he says. [Cameron And Nicole] "Did you ever do this with your dad?" No! He fucking cums all over my pant leg. Oh my God. So what's the moral to this little story? That men can separate sex from emotion. Hence the phrase "It's just sex." I'm not sure that that is the moral to that story. Yeah, it also sounds pretty gay. True Yeah, well, you know, that's just a misconception of gender roles in our society. Well I suppose you think like when two girls hook up with one another they're just having a little fun? Don't think I forgot about that little lesbian rendezvous you had. What? You hooked up with a girl?! Yah, that little curly haired number from the studio. Wait, Naomi? She's old. Cunnilingus knows no age, only beauty. I can't believe you never told me this. Because it's meaningless. Contrary to popular belief, women can have sex without emotion. I want to know every detail. You know what? Why don't I just show you? What? Wait, wait, what are you doing? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Let me see them feet! [Rachel] No! Yeah, yeah girl. Oh yeah! My feet are virgins, and sacred. Well, it was much more romantic that that, okay? We were on cocaine. Hey. Hmm? Keep your chin up kid. Thanks, Cameron. I'll see you at Nicole's show? You get what you want You found a weak ground [Nicole] I miss you. [Cameron] Nicole. [Nicole] Stay. Please? Don't talk to strangers Don't care what they think 'Cause you will break your Alright, drunky. I'll see you, okay? You're moving too fast You're moving too fast You're moving too fast You're moving too fast A crispy bullshit A glass of water You're looking so hurt You haven't caught her Shake your habits How do you do that? Do what? See him, still? Rach, we are artists, with tortured souls. Much of the torture is self-inflicted. It's an illusion Illusion Ha Ha ha What are you doing? Are you taking a selfie? Mmm hmmm, I look good. Well use a filter. Okay. [Rachel] I can't believe you got rid of my bed. Like who does that? You bitch. Actually that's pretty good. Keep doing that. [Rachel] Is this what you did to Naomi? No. This, this is what I did to Naomi. Ah, you're killing me! Uh huh, go to sleep! I can't breathe, really. Sleepy time. - I actually can't breath. - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. [Rachel] I really loved him. I know. [loud ticking] [loud horns honking] Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Ugh, shit! Relax! I took the liberty of calling in for you. You what? I told them you ate some bad sushi and it's coming out of both ends. Good. Well I'm glad you told them it was coming out of both ends. Well I had to sell it. You're welcome. And now you can come to work with me. Oh, you have a job? Did anyone ever tell you you are such a precious gem when you are hung over? Here you go. Ugh, I can't even look at this shit. Don't look, just drink. Hurry up. Brush your hair. You brush your hair. [upbeat music] [Nicole] Yes. [Rachel] You hooked up with a girl? [Cameron] Yeah, that curly haired number from the studio. [Rachel] Wait, Naomi? Rach? Hmm? Let's get you into outfit number two. Everybody else take 10. Oh, thank God. Excuse me. Yeah, yeah, indeed. Yep, we are a full service studio. We do offer hair and makeup. Yeah we do have hair and makeup, absolutely. Stylists if you need. Okay, I have you on the books for Naomi on December 18th. Good bye. Shit. Hung over? Understatement. Are you comfortable down there, or... Yeah, I like the way the cement feels on my body. Want a cigarette? Oh, I don't smoke but thank you. Oh. [Rachel] Oh, thank you. Yeah. It's been awhile. Yeah, I've been kind of off the radar, I guess you could say. Back and better than ever, I see. Yeah, I mean it takes true talent to hold a bounce board. All that geometry. Hey, and don't forget my astoundingly strong tricep muscles. Yeah, you make it look really easy. You're welcome. [faint chuckling] Hey, so I'm doing this reading, and yeah, you should come. What are you reading? It's kind of sick and twisted. Childhood diary entries. Rewritten with an adult perspective and vernacular. But seriously, you should try, you should come. You're in luck. I'm going to be reading a passage about my first ever boner. So, there's that. [loud laughing] Oh, that's amazing. Hi, excuse me, slave. - Oh, wow. - Need ya. [Rachel] Okay, I'm being summoned. So off to work you must go. Hi ho. [Rachel] Hi ho. The dwarves. Yeah. [Rachel] Hey, thanks for the invite. [loud buzzing] Ugh, fuck. What's your problem? I have my meeting with Charles. Yeah? I think I'm just going to cancel it. Dude, you've been blowing that guy off for two months. When's your meeting? It's in 15 minutes. I'm not even dressed, I feel like shit... Okay so your meeting is in 15 minutes? Yeah, you're going. - No, you're going. - No. [Nicole] I'm very glad that I'm here because I'm a positive influence on you... Oh yeah, a very good influence. [slow instrumental music] You look like hell. Well that's funny, because I feel like an angel. How have you been? Oh, well, I've been great. My boyfriend took me out for a nice meal, humiliated me in front of all of his friends and then he dumped me. Well, you'll have plenty of time to make these changes. It's not about time, Charles. I just, I don't have the backbone anymore. Well there are lot of other writers out there who do. They're hungry for this. But I'm here because I see something in you. What do you see in me? I see someone who if she would just challenge herself, and push past the point of feeling uncomfortable, could do great things. And in doing so make me a lot of money. But right now all I see is someone who wants to throw in the towel when times get tough. This is a gift, Rachel. Don't throw it away. [slow paced music] [Nicole] Dude, look at you. You are prime for rebound sex right now. I'm not, I'm not even there yet. Rach, what is the point of us going if you're not going to flirt with the cute front desk guy? Well first of all, his name is Trevor. [Nicole] Whatever. And I'm not going to flirt with him, okay? Okay, I'll see you later, bye. I don't even know how, anymore. Look, you go up to him afterward, be friendly, smile. Tell him you liked it, whether you did or not, offer to buy him a beer. Well, what if he says yes? Good. What are you going to do? You'll be the third wheel. No I won't. Ernest is meeting us there. Oh, Ernest. Who is that? Your flavor of the month? Yep, tastes like money and Aqua Di Gio. Red pricklies, up my legs, starting from my toes and down my back starting from my brain. Coursed through my frame. All leading to one place. The center of my being. My penis was alive. Vigor was its name. What used to be a spongy flesh and a collection of filth was now a beacon like the lighthouse at Long Beach Island, it stood on end, shining. Was there a bone down there? [Narrator] Stop, this is special. Would it be this way forever? My pants were slightly disfigured, as if an elf was reaching through my jammies for Jesus' help. Jesus isn't real. The work itself was just so profound. He took an experience we could all relate to, males of course, and expressed it in a way that maintained the naivety of youth while incorporating the complexities of adult thought processes. Hey. Hey. Oh my God, you were so great. [Trevor] Thanks. [Rachel] You were really funny. [Trevor] Cool, I'm glad you came. Thanks for coming. Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Ernest. Oh, are you? Oh, he is. I am. Why don't we all get a drink. Yeah, yeah, I was going to suggest that actually. I know the perfect place. - Let's go. - Let's do it. [Ernest] Grand. I mean that vulnerability, that most people don't even delve into, and to take that and to share it amongst a group of strangers. I mean it's, it's provocative. [Rachel] Very provocative. Whoa. Thanks, man. Provocativeness in its boldest form. But I mean not just for the viewer, but for your own personal being. Nicole, can you please stop? I'm trying to have a conversation. Hands where I can see them, right guys? Hey, Trevor, did you know that Rachel is a writer? Oh, really? [Rachel] No. No, I did not know that. I'm not really a writer. I don't know. I haven't really put pen to paper in a very long time. Do you just have nothing to write about? There's always something to write about. You know what it is? I think it has to do with fear. You know? [Rachel] Yeah. Like we as artists, we're afraid that what we create is not going to be good enough. Or, you know, perfect. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. Sylvia Plath. You studied. And see, look at how well she turned out. Didn't she commit suicide? She did. Yeah, man. You know, it's hard to find inspiration. I'm sorry. I can't hear you. What was that? I was saying it's hard to find inspiration when your head is in an oven. [loud laughing] Ernest, I'm kidding. Sorry. Okay. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make a joke. Okay. Don't, don't try. No, but I am serious. I do think it is hard to find inspiration. Well if you sit around and wait for inspiration, it might never come, you know. But that's why I try to force myself to write every single day. Let the juices flow. Sometimes I'll sit there for hours. And other times, phew, stroke of genius. Hey, better than a regular stroke. I mean, I don't understand that from an artistic concept, but from a business standpoint absolutely. [Trevor] Yeah. [Rachel] Oh, wow. Please sick bitch I mean I don't want to impose my beliefs on anyone else, but it's just, my uncle died of lung cancer and he didn't even smoke in his life. But his second wife Marjorie smoked these big... Ernest? Shut the fuck up, okay? Okay. So tonight was oddly entertaining. I thought it was fun. It was fun. Hey, I was serious about what I said before. If you want to be a writer, I think you should be a writer. Write. The inspiration will come once you get out of your own way. Sorry. I'm like lecturing you. I'm being a total jerk. You're not a total jerk. I mean, God, with the amount of time I've spent feeling sorry for myself lately, I could have written like three self-help books. And like nine erotic novels. You're not a total jerk. I mean a quasi-jerk, maybe. That's kind of a given. A quasi-jerk. Here I am thinking I just ruined our first date. I'll rip your stockings. I don't care. Yeah right there. Right there, right there. The Holy Spirit. Mother, father, creator. With being the truth on the street. See, she's got the right idea. [Rachel] Praise Jesus. No, but look at her though. Isn't she beautiful? Just loving her life. Not giving a fuck about anything but the Big Guy upstairs. [loud honking] You think I could ever be free like that? Probably not. Yeah, you're probably right. Well, I think I better go. 'Cause I've got to make sure that Ernest is still alive. She is a man-eater That's very true. Good night, Trevor. Hey. Keep your head out of the oven. Okay, well I'll try. Bye. Bye. Keep your head out of the oven. Keep your head out of the oven. [loud moaning] [imitates bird calling] [Nicole] Oh hey! Oh, don't mind me... No, no, no, no! Hey hey, we're done, we're done. You go. So I'll call you tomorrow. When? Tomorrow. Looking forward to your call. Okay. I had a lovely evening... [loud slamming] [Rachel] So, you're going to call him tomorrow? [Nicole] I am literally never going to see that human again. He's somehow more boring than you are. Boring?! Let me tell you, I macramed a potholder last week, okay? On two cups of decaf coffee. Let's talk about boring. Do you remember when you use to be fun, Rach? We used to stay out every single night till six a.m., shit house drunk, dancing out little tushies off, talking the L train of shame home every morning. Oh yeah, and getting pussy scooped by the heinous bouncer at the Lit Lounge. Or how about when I was holding your hair back while you were puking up bile in Marcus Garvey Park? The dictionary definition, fun. God, those were the days. September 27th 2012. Cutting The Cord, A poem by Rachel Nolan. Nicole, don't. "When your mother's cervical cave "yawned upon your arrival "and met the sun halfway betwixt hither and dither, "love was made." Nicole, stop it. "Honeyed, and candid"... Stop! What?! This isn't funny. Are you embarrassed? This is who you are, okay? Look at us, we are youngish, better than average looking, weirdo artsy types living in the best god-damned city in the world, okay? I'd say we have it pretty fucking good. And you, you have a book deal. I don't have a book deal. Okay, I have a shitty manuscript that continuously gets ripped to shreds and it will never be good enough to publish and I'm fucking over it. Okay? Oh, Negative Nancy, I didn't see you arrive. Okay, I'm Negative Nancy now. I don't know, Rach, but I don't know who this is. Richard turned you into this conservative little cardigan wearing house trained Stepford Wife. This is not you. Okay, well since you obviously know me better than I know myself, if 'Rachel' was here right now what would she be doing? She wouldn't be here. She would be with Trevor having a hot and heavy make-out sesh. Depending on his worthiness, probably feeling his boner a little bit but keeping it classy and not fucking on the first date. Okay, is that what she would do? Yeah. She would. Well I don't know who you think I am or was or should be, but I'm not that person anymore. Yeah, well, maybe you should be. Because that person was fun. A lot happier than you are. [Rachel] Richard Goux made sense. He was not what I wanted. Deep down I knew that. But my life so far had been a series of unfulfilled dreams and unfulfilled desires. So I tried not to dream. Not to desire. Not to feel. An empty vessel I gave myself to him completely. Blended into him with the hope he'd mold me into something worthwhile. [Narrator] Hey, girl. [Rachel] Jesus. Jessica. You look like you've been dragged through the mud. Do you want to go to lunch? You know, not today. I'm sorry, I'm kind of... You always say that. Look, Jessica, Richard and I just broke up. I'm not really in the mood... I know. I saw it on the internet. You what? [Jessica] I was wondering when you were going to tell me. You don't have to... I am here for you. Okay? Okay, you just let me know if you need anything. Wow, thank you. You have value. Okay. [loud honking] [clears throat] I hate you. You love me. So I have to slave away at my dead end job while you get to sleep all day? I was working. Uh huh. I'm so sure. I have just developed the final piece for my show. A self-portrait. Wow. It's part of a much larger installation of course, entitled, are you ready? Photos of My Nipples. I've always said that nipples are the eyes to the heart. You've never said that. Well, I'm saying it now. So I try to get a nip pic of every new person I meet. Black nipples. White nipples. Puerto Rican nipples. Pierced nipples. Pretty nipples. Engorged nipples... Okay, that's a lot of nipples. Let me take a photo of your nipples. Oh, hell no. Okay, just one. Just the wonky one. Richard always liked my wonky nipple. He said it was like bringing another woman into the bedroom. That's weird. Yeah. Anyway. Show me the one-eyed bandit. No, what are you doing? Get off of me. I'm going to get you. No, stop! I'm going to get you. [loud camera shuttering] Kill yourself. That's mine. I don't think so. You've got your problems I've got my happiness How do I look? Hold on. Dude, I am so happy for you. Shut up. Seriously. I remember my first Quinceanera. Oh, because I look like a pinata. And because you're full of sweet things. Shall we go inside? Yes, we shall. [upbeat music] What? Why do you think she should cover herself better? Because I can see from my eyes, I can see her... That's exactly why she needs to be naked. Because you have a vulture ass opinion... [Male] Well she can at least, you know, show me her tits. They're just kind of like hiding. That's like [faint speaking]. [Trevor] Hey. Hey! Where's your bounce board? Oh, my God, I can't believe I left it. Is there a lost-and-found around here? You know it should never leave your side to begin with. God, you're so right. I need one of those little pocket ones so I can whip it out and be like, oh, find your light! You know? [Nicole] Hey. Hello. [Nicole] Can you hold this? I've got to pee. Sure. Hey Nicole, how ya doing? Hi, Trevor. [Rachel] Okay, maturity. Let me know if you see Cameron, okay? [Rachel] Sure. So, I got you something. [Rachel] You did? Oh my God... It's no big deal. It's just, I saw it and I had thought of you, so. Ah. This is so great. Yeah, yeah, no problem. You just write your thoughts in it, or not. Haikus. Or you know, my first ever boner. I can write about that. Endless possibilities in that. This was really sweet. [faint upbeat music] [techno music] Hey. You will never guess who is here. Who? Steven Anthony Lawrence. I know. I invited him. He really likes photography. Yeah and your nipples, as I recall. Look, Steven Anthony Lawrence is the Willy Wonka of drugs. Okay? His apartment, the Chocolate Factory. Anything could happen. If my top just magically happened to fall off, I can't be held accountable for that. Ladies. [Rachel And Nicole] Steven! Come to papa. Wow, did you skin this yourself? You must have been working out. Oh you ladies are so funny. Nicole, your pictures are so beautiful. Thank you, Steven. I've always said, "Nipples are the eyes to the heart." Okay, that is not at thing. Especially the self-portrait. They are as divine as I remember them. Steven, you're making them blush. Ladies, I wanted to give you something. Pure M D M A. Steven, are you trying to seduce me? Because it's working. Have fun, ladies. Claudia? Bring that ass back here, girl! Remember that musical with the song about beans? Or was it greens? Did you just take that? Mmm hmm, your turn. I'm not taking it. You're going to let me go down the rabbit hole by myself?! No, you didn't even think about this, we didn't talk about it... Steven Anthony Lawrence is a trusted source. You know this. No, it's not him. It's just I don't, I don't, I'm scared. It scares me. Rach, there's a reason they call it Ecstasy, okay? Plus you've done it like a thousand times. I've done it four and a half times. Half because that one time we went to that warehouse party that definitely wasn't Ecstasy... Take the the damn pill. [upbeat music] The nipple is a very intimate part of the body we don't often have a chance to share. My project affords my subjects the opportunity to express themselves and their nipples with freedom. [fireworks popping] I'm changing lives, people! Excuse me. Ah! Steven, I will never forget the time when you went and got burritos and I let my wallet at home. And you bought me that burrito. I don't think I've ever paid you back. It's cool, yo. [Rachel] Are you sure? Hi, can I borrow her for a minute? Yeah. Thanks. I love you. [upbeat music] Hi, how big are my pupils right now? Pretty fucking big. Let's dance. Hey. Do you want to go pee? Yeah, let's go pee. Hello, I'm rolling balls right now. Oh, God, it's hard to pee on drugs. Well why don't you quit trying so hard? [loud splashing] You hear that? That's the sound of the stream of consciousness. You are a genius. Thank you. I saw you give your girlfriend googly eyes. Why are you so upset? Because it's fascinating. Well if you're so fascinated by it, why don't you just do it? Why her? I don't know. She's been eating pussy since 1982. [loud laughing] No, I mean why her and not me? Is it because I'm not pretty enough? No, you're obviously just way too classy for me. I'm serious. Really? Um, well, okay, one, you're my best friend. Sure Two, you don't even like girls. And three, you get weird. I do not get weird. How do I get weird? You're really, you're going to make me spell this out for you right now? Okay, well with every guy you've ever dated and every guy you've had sex with for that matter you get really clingy and weird. I do get weird. Sometimes everything just feels so out-of-control. I just can't... Rach, you are completely missing the point. Okay, this is you. Are you ready? You're looking at your watch, you're like "Hmmm, what time is it?" The time is always a clock. Okay, the only time you have any semblance of control is in this current moment. This is the only moment that we're ever in. This is the only moment that ever exists. This moment right now? Yeah, the now one. What are you doing? [upbeat music] Arise It's your turn now Come to the river To wash our bodies away [faint knocking] [loud banging] Let's go. Jesus. Not a Bentley right? What the fuck, a Bentley? Yeah, that's wack. Yeah, thank you. Oh my How do you've grown now Outside human But on the inside you're all soul [Nicole] Come home to bed away to. I'm done. Look at the way these lights just intertwine with one another. It's like they're all a family. Well you know what they say, "Home is where the heart is." That's what they say in Scotland. It sounded better in my head. I'm sure. Second star to the right and straight on until morning. I'm king of the world! God, wait, what movie are you doing? Titanic, what are you doing? Peter Pan. Oh, that's right. I can fly! Oh, so good right now. What do you want? [faint drumming] Her eyes how they've turned now Black and shiny Her greed as good as new Slip slide Watch your fingers This feeling is fragile Thigh highs, belts, and boots Is this okay? Oh Chief you are the rhythm on my fancy Underneath the ribbons and the furs Ecstasy in form of candy But the world can't be seen through a pill Ooh Ah Ooh Ah Don't take I'll give it Don't take I'll give it Oh Chief you are the rhythm of my fancy Underneath the ribbons and furs Ecstasy in form of candy But the world can be seen through Oh Chief you are they rhythm of my fancy Underneath all the boots and spurs I believe you are the shaman incarnate Don't take, I'll give it to Don't take I'll give it to Don't take I'll give it to you I love you. I love you, too. Rach. You're going to be late for work. [piano solo] [Nicole speaks foreign language] [Professor speaks foreign language] [speaks foreign language] [professor speaks foreign language] It's beautiful. Oh, I'm so excited. - I'm sure I am. - I'm so excited. [Nicole] Well, [speaks foreign language]. [professor speaks foreign language] [Nicole speaks foreign language] [professor speaks foreign language] [slow paced music] Excuse me, miss. Miss? Is a paper bag okay? Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Baby it's so early Wow. It smells like a dream in here. You did all this for me? I love you. Let's kiss a little longer Let's touch a little longer Just stay a little longer You will never guess who I saw today? Go ahead, guess. Never mind, you'll never get it. What? Professor Petrini, my old Italian professor. Oh really, what happened? Okay, so I see him on the train. I go up to him, I'm like [speaks foreign language]. He totally remembered me. He told me I was one of his favorite students. And I'm feeling kind of bold and I was like "I had the biggest crush on you". And he's like "I know". He fucking knew, can you believe that? And then he says to me "If you're good "I will show you my nipples. "If you're great I will take you to Italy "and show you my Naples." Right. Hello? Are you alright? Yeah, no, sorry. That's really funny. Yeah. Kizmet. He's so hot. Nicole, he's like 100 years old. I know, he's like old-man hot. That's the best kind. Is this for us? Yeah, I made brisket. Your favorite. Oh my goodness. Oh shit. Hot. Yeah. I just pulled it out of the oven. One stroke of her finger tips and my heart fell. Leaden into the pit of my stomach. And the next stroke rose up again to the back of my throat. That exhilarating feeling like the first drop on the Coney Island cyclone or standing behind the curtain, poised, waiting to enter the scene. My whole life I've been my biggest adversary, standing in the way of my own pleasure. Now all I want is that feeling. That touch. Again and again. [faint ringing] [Nicole] Hey there. Hey. What's up? What are you up to tonight? I don't know. I rented this bizarre film called Dog Tooth. Wow, cool. Let's watch it. Cool. See ya later. Okay bye. Hey. Didn't get to say bye last night. [Trevor] No worries. [Rachel] So, bye and hi. P. S. I've been writing. [Trevor] Can't wait to read it. That is, if I have the privilege. Of course, after all you are one of my, you are my muse. [loud knocking] [Jessica] Knock, knock, knock. Hey, hey. Hey, you're in a good mood. Over Richard so quickly? You're right. It's none of my business. I was just going to say that like, what's it been, less than a week? You know, in spending some time apart I'm starting to realize that Richard may not be the right person for me. I'm really happy for you, Rach. [Rachel] Well, thank you, Jessica. You know, don't let a man bring you down. You are absolutely right. Hey, do you want to get lunch? Fab. Let's go now. I'm starving. So yes, I mean there is a part of me that wants to see her get over Richard because, you know, she's my best friend and I don't want to see her suffer and all that. But there's a slightly larger part of me that just doesn't want to hear her whine about it. Yeah, she does love to whine, doesn't she? [Nicole] Yeah, but still. Well listen, if you can help her, help her. And don't worry, I'm sure even Gandhi felt some self-satisfaction in all of his altruism. You know what? You're right. And I am much like Gandhi, only thinner. [Naomi] And more humble. Cameron suggested we get her laid. You're talking to him? No. Well, it's not a horrible idea. Just make sure you get a guy to bone her. Don't you do it. [light chuckling] You know, she and Trevor were totally digging on each other. - I could just... - She, no. What? She is way too good for him. - Oh, are you serious? - Are you kidding me? [Nicole] You're such a fucking dick, dude. Come on. Fine, hook it up. He's always liked her for some bizarre reason. You know what? Maybe I will. And sure, you should do that right now because obviously I don't need any help here. T-Bone. Yo, yo, yo. So, are you working hard? On my friend Rachel I assume? Not really work, per se. Let me tell you something. She totally digs you. Yeah? Yeah. You know, it is really hard to tell. Oh my God, I so feel that. You know, you know what it is? Rachel is the like shy, silent type. You know, you've got to put in the work. Like the full court press and shit. Full court press? Okay. Well thank you, Nicole. Hey, no prob, Bob. So Amber was going out with Justin. And you know what she found out? They're related. I mean it's like second cousins like once removed or whatever but like still, like ew. But she still agreed to go out on a date with him, and so she was telling me about it and I decided to be like "Sure, it's so great" whatever. And then she told me this, and you can't tell anybody. I won't, I swear. Okay. She said that after giving him oral sex, she felt so guilty about it that she cried on his penis. [Rachel] Oh my God. I know, I can't believe it. It's totally embarrassing. [Nicole] Make your famous popcorn for Dog Tooth. What are you so happy about? Who's that? [Rachel] It's nobody. No, like seriously who was that? Oh my God, what's his name? It's nobody you know. Plus I don't want to jinx it. Well be careful, Rachel. You know, you don't want to rush into these things. You still have a fragile heart. [perky Italian music] [loud honking] [loud screaming] [speaking foreign language] This movie is so weird. I know. [loud screaming] I'm cold. Oh my God, look at this. [Rachel] She called herself an open book. Which may have been true. A book with faded print. Written in a language with no rules. No structure whatsoever. But so intriguing is the art of the chase. So attractive is the... [loud slamming] Trevor really likes you. Have you talked to Cameron at all? Nope. Maybe he was getting his feet fucked. It's the only viable excuse. It was weird the stuff he was saying about sexuality. Yeah, I try not to listen when he speaks. The stuff about like women not being able to separate sex from emotion. Oh yeah, and about us chowing each others' boxes. And look, we put it all into practice. Should we talk about that? What is there to talk about? We're cool, right? Yeah. Sorry about Cameron. Don't be. Good night. [melancholy music] [loud slapping] Do you want to go to lunch with Jessica and I? No thanks. I have a date with the professor today. Oh. What are you doing with that? What do you mean? Like, what are your intentions? To go to lunch, maybe take his photograph? Are you trying to, what, date him? Why not? He's brilliant. He's charming. Devastatingly handsome. You're just going to end up hurting him, Nicole. I know you. You're going to have your fun, and you're just going to toss him aside. It's not going to last. Well, like you said, Rach, he's an old man so I'm pretty sure he knows how to handle himself by now, but thanks for your concern. You look really pretty. Thanks, you too. [melancholy music] [Rachel] Tell the professor I said [speaks foreign language]. [Nicole] And this is why we're here. I don't know what it is with all the beautiful things in here I keep going back to this. Isn't it gorgeous? Absolutely. Like you, my dear. Stop it. No don't stop, keep going. [loud laughing] Here, please do me the honor of posing right here on this pillar. Oh no, no, no. Please, Professore, you can't, you have to. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, okay. [Narrator] You've reached Charles Harwell. Please leave a detailed message. Hey, Charles, it's Rachel, Rachel Nolan. Look, please give me a call back, okay? Thanks, bye. Okay, ready? [Nicole speaks in foreign language] Professor, I don't mean to alarm you. You are extremely handsome. Now, don't break character. Let's go, let's go, stoic, serious. Ready? Okay. [Nicole speaks foreign language] [loud ringing] Hi, mom. [Mom] Hi, stranger. Mom... Oh I know, I know. I'm putting it on a little too thick, but I just miss you, that's all. [Rachel] How's dad? Oh, you know dad. He's the same. He's fine. Hey, how are you? How is work? Oh well, you know, it's a paycheck. Every week. Yeah? How is that essay thing coming along? It's a novel, mom. And it's, it's going to fall through. Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Well, I always say you only learn by bad experiences. Yep, you do always say that. Rachel, I know the nine-to-five isn't all the glitz and glamour that you could imagine, but you are a sensible girl, and I don't know, maybe you could do that writing thing as a hobby, huh? Or just for fun. Yeah, fun. Yeah. And then when you and Richard, you settle down and talk about raising a family. You're really going to appreciate having that paycheck once a week. Believe you me. The boundaries of relationships are a farce. You know, they're just like, they're not there. Because when you're in a relationship, you're in it. Well no one's like really in it, in it. You know what I mean? It's just me and I'm all alone. My heart was once like this. But now it's this. I mean, you know how I'm feeling. You were in Vietnam. Hold on. I'm going to make a call. Hello? You've got to, you've got to press dial. [loud ringing] [loud honking] Hello? Wondering where I am? Where are you? I don't know. Where are you? I'm walking home. How much have you had to drink? Not enough. Because my heart is still [blows raspberry]. Please find out where you are. How am I supposed to do that? Hand the phone to someone less drunk than you. That would be anyone in the bar. [loud thud] You've got it. Hello, can you help me? I don't know where I am. Oh, oh hello? Honey, she's at Louie's. [Nicole] Gracias, can you give her the phone please? Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you. [Attendant] Sure. You're really like. Here, thank you. Oh jeez, I'm so sorry. Okay, sure. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. - Ah, it's okay. - I'm sorry. [Attendant] This will pass. [slow paced music] Dee de dit. Dee de dit. Whoo! This one's for you, Roger! Look at me now boys! Okay, Shirley Temple. Time to go home. Nikki, it's so good to see you! Oh, look, look. This is Roger. [Nicole] Hi Roger. His mother is Greek. His father is not Greek. Great. But, we're going to be travelling the world together on his motorcycle. Okay, it's time to go home. I don't even have a motorcycle. We're actors. We're just here, we just got off set. This isn't even a real goatee. Roger, I don't care. Okay? Time to go. No I want to... [loud thudding] [Nicole] Been in the city long, or? Well, I studied biochemical engineering at Cornell, but then I moved back to the city to pursue acting. Oh, really? That's.. You know what, this is us, so why don't you just let her down, gently. Roger and his blushing bride. Thanks, Roger. Could I take a photo of your nipples? I like it when you sit with me while I'm in the bath. While I'm bathing. Well I like it when you don't drown, so. Don't be mad at me. Where's Roger? He's in a better place now. Here you go. Here you go. [loud vomiting] So you getting trashed is obviously not getting you over Richard, so we need to find a new tactic. I don't want to get over Richard. Besides, Roger and I are getting married. You need a rebound guy. Not Roger nor any of the other Sons of Anarchy. Like a real human being. Like Trevor. Can we just go to bed? Yeah. Carry me. [Nicole] Okay, don't slip and fall, okay? Pick me up. [Nicole] Okay. [slow paced music] I love you. You too. Let's just go to bed, okay? The bed had suddenly become crowded. The space between us unbearable. But who had changed? Was it me? [loud vibrating] Charles. [Charles] Rachel, I'm returning your call. Right, thank you. Is everything all right? I mean, you didn't sound well. Yeah, everything is fine. It's good. Great in fact. I was calling to tell you that I've been thinking about our conversation, and, [faint beeping] and I've been writing. It's a new piece. It's inspired. It's passionate. I think you're going to love it. Yes, well I, [faint beeping] I look forward to reading it. Yes, do. I won't let you down again. Rachel, I hope you know this is not about you letting me down. Now if you need some more time, I'm sure... Charles, I'm so sorry. It's Nicole on the other line. I think it may be an emergency. I'll call you soon okay? Hello? [Nicole] I'm picking up your stuff. What? When are you going? I'll come meet you. [loud doorbell ringing] No, I'm already here, it's happening. [Rachel] I'm on my way. Hey, Rach? Rachel? Stay where you are, okay? Hold on. [loud knocking] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, Nicole. Richard, hi. I'm just here to pick up Rachel's things. I'll be out in just a few, okay? [loud classical music] Hmm. [Richard] Alright, this way. [Nicole] You have a beautiful home. Did your grandmother help you decorate or? I go to a lot of estate sales. [Nicole] That makes all of the sense in the world. So how is she doing? She's great man. She's actually like really good. Really? That's good to hear. She certainly loved plushies. That she does. Sorry. It's alright, Richard. I mean, you guys both kind of knew it was going south for awhile, right? Yeah. I guess so. [Nicole] You know, you're just so conservative, I don't think she's really free to be herself. You know what I mean? [Richard] Right. But she's doing so much better now, so I'm glad it was a clean break, and no hard feelings, right? None. Well, hey, it's been real. Peace out, Goux! Later. You should have seen the look on his face. Fuck. I should have snap-chatted it. Defending my honor. Wow, you're a better boyfriend than he was. Hey, Rach, remember when we talked about you getting weird? [faint beeping] Hey, hold on a second. Oh my God, it's him. What? Richard. Hello. Hello? [Richard] Rachel, how are you? Doing well, Richard, very well. That's great to hear. You were pretty shaken up when you left. I thought for sure you'd call. Anyway, I was thinking maybe we should go get a cup of coffee so we can talk about it. It would be nice to get some closure... Richard. Yes? No. [Richard] What? Bye. [Female] Who are you talking to, Richie? Oh, no one. [light classical music] [loud music] [Nicole] Nicole's phone. [loud beep] Nicole, you will never believe it. Guess who grew a pair of balls? He asked me out for coffee, and I was just like "No. "No." And I hung up the phone. It was amazing. Call me back. Call me. [upbeat music] Ooh ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh ooh Good luck with that Iawaska. The question is, where is your girlfriend tonight? Well, she's right here actually. [Nicole] No, stop it. [Narrator] Yes, it is my way disgusting way of saying I'm single [Nicole] Oh, okay. Well your misfortune is my fortune. Hi. Oh, hey Rach. Guys, do you remember Rachel? Hey, Rachel. Nicole, can I talk to you for a minute? Yeah, sure. I'll be right back. What's up? What are all these people doing here? All of these people are friends from work. I invited them over. Trevor is not your friend. You didn't even know his name until this week. Well I thought that maybe you would want to see him. Don't you think it's a little fucked up? You, are you on your moon cycle? Tough day at work. It happens to the best of us. Hey. Hey. Is she all right? Yeah, no she's fine. You know what? You should go upstairs and go get her. Make her come down here. What? Yes, go. Please, dazzle her with your wit and charm. No, no, no, no... Yes, if anyone can get her to come down it's you. In fact I order you. You go. You go now. Go. Okay, alright, alright. I will not take no for an answer. Okay, here, take my drink. Okay, thank you, you go. I'll go get her. You need two hands. [Trevor] Is this where all the cool kids hang out? Hey, Trevor. Hey, I don't want to interrupt you or anything. Oh, no, you're fine. Come on in. Cool. May I sit down? Yeah, please, have a seat. [Trevor] Nice couch. Yeah, thanks. It looks like a smurf got murdered. It did. I buried it in the back. So watch out. Wild. Pretty wild. I see that you've been putting my little gift to good use over here. Yeah, I've about filled every page. Let's open it up, first page. Are you making love in here? Do not move a muscle. Stay right there. Nicole, I'm really not in the mood. Look, you can't deny me, okay? It's for my next project. It's perfect. Do not move. This is the famous photographer Nicole Weinberg. We can't deny her. Smart man. Okay, one photo. That's all I need. Okay, now why don't you lean in as if you're whispering sweet nothings into Rachel's ear. Go ahead. Perfect. I think you're cute. This is so stupid. You two, are beautiful together. Okay? Now come downstairs my anti-socialites. Yes, she has a point. I guess. My lady. My lord. [faint whispering] Michael put the beast away. The policia are coming. Hey, are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Okay, I'm going to go get you a drink. Okay. Fuck you, put it in your god damned mouth. Put it in your god damned mouth. [Nicole speaks foreign language] I am loving this. Please wear a condom. Good to see you, call me later. I love you. Bye. And good night, Trevor. Good night. A penny for your thoughts? Do you ever feel like you don't really know yourself? It's terrifying, because you start to look at your relationships and you think, like, "How well do I know this person?" Like truly know them? And how could I? How could I know someone if I don't even know myself? [loud train horn] And you start to think, like, how much of them is real? Or how much of them is this myth I made up? You know, am I deluding myself? Am I just looking for any random sack of meat to project my hopes or my dreams, or, God I don't even know what I want to say. No, no, no, no. Hey. Hey, I definitely get it. I just, I really need a friend right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't really, I didn't mean to come on. Hey, I'd love to be your friend. Yeah? Yeah. I'm going to head out. And I'll see you around. Okay? Okay. Cool, have a good night. Sorry about earlier. [Nicole] Don't worry about it. It's just there were all these people here when I got home from work and just didn't... [Nicole] Hey Rach, remember that conversation we had at the gallery where you talked about not wanting to be needy or weird? Well, you're doing it and it makes me not want to be around you. You're going out? Yep. See ya later. Cool, have fun. [solemn music] [loud buzzing] [loud buzzing] Hello. Hey, what's up? Hey, I'm kind of busy, what's up? Well, are you going to be home later or? [Nicole] Yeah, I think so. Cool, let's hang out. [Nicole] Cool, sure. See ya later. Okay, bye. [loud buzzing] [Trevor] Hey, it's Nicolas Cage. It's Trevor. Honey, I'm home! Where are you going? I've got a date with the professor. I thought we had plans. I have Chinese food and booze. We'll eat it tomorrow. Chinese is better the next day anyway. Well, where are you guys going? Some restaurant in Fort Greene. When are you going to be home? I don't know. What's with the inquisition? I just thought we had plans. You'll survive. Okay? See ya later. [slow paced music] I try to feel it inside But the fire that we had is all gone Sometimes you think about why As the sand in the hourglass runs [Rachel] I run toward it. Gaining velocity, yet the distance grows. And still I dread a misstep for fear I may lose it completely. But in reality, it's already gone. But you know I would But you know I would Only let you down You know I'm gonna change We look for comfort where we can't find it. Like a dream instantly forgotten the moment you reach the good part. I wanted to freeze time and just live in that moment in tandem. Like a dream, instantly forgotten. Afraid of admitting what I'm afraid of. A sickness that doesn't want to be healed. [loud knocking] Ugh, it's you. When it's over It's over It's over now Nicole? Nicole. Nicole? Hey, where's Nicole? Nicole is on a date with an old man. Why lie you get me so high My desire blocks out the sun I hate orange chicken. I try to keep it in line Maybe I'm just not the one What are you working on? [Rachel] Nothing. But you know I would But you know I would Keep it under cover We could have each other But you know I would But you know I would Only let you down I can't have you drinking alone there. Things just don't stay the same no more no more You know I'm gonna break You know I'm gonna break your faded heart When it's over She's really upset with you, you know. What, did she say something? No. Of course not. So, who are you upset with? Nobody. Myself, I guess. Well that's pointless. I'm just going to call her and see what time she's coming home. [Cameron] She's on a date. She'll answer. [loud music] I'm really sorry. Do you mind if I? I'm sorry. [Nicole speaks in foreign language] [professor speaks in foreign language] [Nicole speaks in foreign language] Where were we? It's her. What's her? The reason why you're upset. You have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, don't I? I mean I dated that thing for two years. Don't say shit like that. Well you obviously have some shit you need to say, so fucking say it. Say it. She's an inconsiderate fucking bitch. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. No, I didn't, I didn't mean that. You're right. She is an inconsiderate selfish little bitch. It's everything on her terms. She's my best friend. Come on. You grovel under her like a sick puppy. She's the authority on your life. I mean she cares so much about you? Here you are drinking yourself into oblivion. And she can't even take your phone call. Quite being such a fucking pussy and do something about it. You know I'm gonna change Things just don't stay the same no more no more You know I'm gonna break You know I'm gonna break your faded heart When it's over It's over, it's over now When it's over It's over, it's over now Stop. Stop. [Cameron] What? No, get off me. [Cameron] Fuck, what? [Rachel] This is a terrible mistake. You need to go. Go. Get the fuck out of here. Are you serious? Just like two peas in a fucking pod. Hi, Cameron. Nicole. [Nicole] Are you fucking kidding me? Nicole, listen to me. Is this a fucking joke?! Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?! We didn't have sex, okay?! What did you do? We made out. And he fingered me a little bit, but... [Nicole] Oh, my... Nicole. Congratulations. Here is your reward for being the most selfish cunt in the universe! Oh, I'm selfish? Yeah. Yeah you are. Wow, you might be an actual human being. I never knew you were capable of feeling emotions. I don't like to tell you how I'm feeling because I don't want to burden you with the dark and depressing shit that runs through my mind all day! But you don't have a problem unloading, do you, Rachel? Oh, burden me? You're the one that is so fucking wrapped up in your own world that you can't even see how badly you've hurt me. How did I hurt you? Not everyone is like you, Nicole. You go from one guy to the next, and you take what you can get and disappear. You can't just go around doing whatever the hell you want and not expect normal feeling people to get emotionally involved. How?! How did I hurt you? We had sex. And then you go around pretending like everything is fine - but it's not. - No. - And you know that. - No, no, no! [Nicole] We hooked up one time when we were on drugs. Oh, really, Nicole? Was that it? Because you seemed very lucid at the time. I'm not a dyke. Neither are you. Oh, my God. I am so fucking sick of people telling me who I am and what I want. Bullshit! Rachel Nolan, the perpetual victim. I'm not going to fucking pity you, okay? You, you were very clear on what you wanted that night. You practically begged me for it. And I just gave you what you wanted. So you can honestly say that you didn't feel anything? Not a thing. You're above it all, aren't you, Nicole? Maybe you didn't feel anything, but I did. I was really fucked up, okay. I didn't know if I was in love with my best friend. But I know I was alone, and you were conveniently absent when things got weird. That fucking killed me. So what did I do? I did something stupid, and it was wrong, and I was wrong and I am so sorry. It's just I wanted you to feel something. I wanted you to feel how I felt. Because I was hurt and I wanted, I wanted you to hurt. I have nobody to blame but myself. I am so glad that you've reached enlightenment, but I can't forgive you. Nicole, please. Don't. [upbeat music] Nicole, may I please have you autograph? Sure thing. Big night tonight, huh? Yep, you coming? I'll definitely try to make it. Cool, see you later. Yeah. Absolutely. Naomi. [Charles] Yes, that sounds great, Judy. [Judy] Yes, alright. Thank you, Charles. We're all very pleased over here. As are we. [Judy] Yeah, bye bye. Good bye Judy, thank you. How does it feel? I don't know. I guess it hasn't really hit me yet. Thank you, Charles, for everything. You've earned it. [Rachel] Hey, sorry I'm late. Hey, don't worry about it. So? I sign the papers on Monday. Yes! Yes. Oh, I'm taking you out this weekend to celebrate. Yeah, you are. Will Emily be joining us? Ah, no. Ah, lady-killer? On to the next one, huh? I think I'm going to date myself for awhile. That's good. So, are you going tonight? Maybe. Are you? No. She doesn't want me there. I think she would. [instrumental music] To my biggest challenge What a curse To live with such regret My blood's too thin To love your kind Won't coagulate in time To unfulfilled desires In the name of Love and respect [Rachel] I had set ablaze the bridge we built in our bed. A path once easily crossed was rendered crumbling charred remains. But fire is an instrument of change, of purification. I'll miss her. Always. But when one chapter ends, another can begin. Maybe we never fell in love Maybe we never Maybe we never fell in love Maybe we never Fell in To never caving in And calling you When you popped into my head To being strong enough To turn you down When you did My blood's too thin To love your kind Wont coagulate in time Maybe we never fell in love Maybe we never Maybe we never fell in love Maybe we never Fell in [slow paced music] I wont drink I'll say too much Puff my chest And act real tough Swallow down All this pride Raise my glass to toast this night God knows I tried Maybe we never fell in love Maybe we never Maybe we never fell in love Maybe we never Fell in Arise It's your turn now Come to the river To wash our bodies away Oh my How you've grown now Outside human But on the inside you're all soul Oh chief, you are the rhythm of my fancy Underneath all the ribbons and furs Ecstasy in the form of candy But the world can't be seen through a pill Her eyes How they've turned now Black and shiny Her greed as good as new |
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