(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(LIVELY CHATTER)
There's no line right now
if you want to get another.
I didn't know we were getting
drunk tonight.
I'm getting drunk tonight.
You're more than welcome
to join in.
You can blog hung over,
you know?
Maybe we should just go.
I don't know.
I thought we could dance.
Don't you think that sounds fun?
Do you not want
to be here anymore?
I could text some people.
Can I finish my drink at least?
I'm gonna go get your coat.
(SIGHS)
I just wish they would respond.
They said the notification date for
accepted prose was noon today.
Fuck.
I'm trying to figure out
a good way
to describe Berlin
in under 140 characters.
For the Internet?
No, for right now.
We're taken.
(SCOFFS) I'd hope so.
Leah, this is Beau. We've been dating
for one year and three months.
So this is the famous Leah.
Do I curtsy now?
You'd have to stand up
to do that.
Mmm.
Well, I was living in Europe.
There's a party at a friend
of a friend of Amy's.
If you do decide to stay, my friend
Dan just ordered a lot of coke.
Really?
Hmm.
I guess we're staying now.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SIREN BLARING IN DISTANCE)
PAUL: 2.1 miles.
That's how far the city is.
Google maps.
- Siri.
- (CHUCKLES)
Wait, really?
(CHUCKLES) No. No.
Erin, actually. Erin Bower.
First and last.
(CHUCKLES) I like that.
Paul Chen.
(GASPS) For real?
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
That was rude.
I didn't mean this
to be an interrogation.
I... It's not like I...
I do... I do know who you are.
I mean, I've heard your name
around a lot, I guess. I...
I haven't read your book, but...
I mean, I... I want to.
I've... I've heard it's
really, really great. (SIGHS)
(GROANS) Can I start over?
I didn't mean to convey displeasure to
you by frowning like that. It's just...
I had a reading earlier
and I took a few bars of...
- Yeah. It's put me in a weird mood.
- (CHUCKLES)
That's okay. I'm, like,
always in a weird mood.
Huh. Seems like we can come
to some kind of understanding.
I'll draw up the deal memo.
My secretary will fax it to you.
What are the terms?
Quite favorable.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
Hello.
No, I think you have
the wrong number.
It's a... It's a joke.
No one called me.
- (CHUCKLES)
- No...
- BEAU: You're always vanishing.
- (SCOFFS) Oh, please.
- (CHUCKLES) What?
- No.
- Did I make you angry?
- (SIGHS)
It was good to meet you, Erin.
I'm gonna head back inside.
- Yeah. Um...
- (PAUL AND ERIN CHUCKLE)
Uh, have your secretary
drop off the deal memo.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll have it
notarized ASAP.
- I'd really like that.
- Okay.
What?
(SIGHS)
Is he from a magazine?
ERIN: Beau, slow down!
Beau, slow...
Beau! Beau...
Beau, please slow down.
Beau, please!
Can you...
Can you... Can you tell me
what's going on? I mean,
you're acting bizarre all night.
I'm on drugs.
Oh, was it worth it?
Are you having fun?
You should sleep
at your place tonight.
I can't have
this conversation right now.
I'm way too fucked up.
Why does it feel like if I go
now, things are gonna be over?
Maybe they are.
What... Are you...
Are you breaking...
Are you breaking up with me?
No. Just...
(CELL PHONE CHIMES) - Felt like that's
what I was supposed to say there.
Are you fucking serious?
Oh, my...
- Fucking asshole!
- Erin! Please...
MAN: Uh, these need
to be cataloged.
Guy who dropped them off said
one or two are first editions.
Okay, I'm on it.
MAN: Is this any good?
Oh. Uh...
Actually, I was thinking we could
book him in for a reading.
He's been doing a bunch
around the city.
You know him?
Well, not super well,
but he's a friend.
Huh.
Hey, uh...
Erin, I've been meaning to
talk to you about something.
Okay.
Things, um...
Things have been tight lately.
Uh, long and short is, I can't afford
to keep everyone on full-time.
I'm gonna have to
cut your hours a bit.
I'm sorry.
(SIGHS) It's... It's fine.
I mean, more time
to write, right?
ERIN: Waking up at 3:00 a.m.
I wonder if it can
really be possible
that I've gone through
25 years of my life now
without forming a truly genuine
connection to another person.
The kind of connection
where you know instantly
what that other person is
thinking at any given moment,
and where that horrible, mysterious
gulf between the two of you
is permanently bridged.
The dissolution of
subject-object connection.
The way you know what they'll
say in telekinetic advance.
The way a writer knows her character's
next desire she must repress.
Her unpublished need still met.
A finger.
Key.
Connection.
Muscle memory.
Muscle memory.
Muscle memory.
PAUL: There were times
when his memory
like an external hard drive
that had been taken from him
and hidden inside an unwieldy
series of cardboard boxes.
Or placed at the end
of a long and dark
and messy corridor.
Required much more effort
than he felt
motivated to exert
simply to locate.
In fact,
he felt increasingly unmotivated
to exert any effort
towards anything.
(MAN COUGHS)
(GULPS)
(APPLAUSE)
Any questions?
Uh, can you hear me?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Do you even know
how to grow mushrooms?
Mushrooms?
Yeah, in your book
you take mushrooms.
Do you know how
to grow them, sir?
Not really.
I have a problem with you.
Classifying your books as fiction
when they're obviously about you,
doesn't that make it a memoir?
- (SCATTERED CLAP)
- If I wrote a memoir,
I would call it my memoir.
I also would write
"I think" before every sentence.
You can't pretend
something is fiction.
Either it's based on your
experience or it's not.
But why can't he?
He's the one
who writes it, right?
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
You saved me.
I am forever in your debt.
Are people at your readings
always this weird?
Yes. That's why I have to
take sedatives before them.
Uh, you're on drugs at all
of your readings? (CHUCKLES)
- Do you want some?
- (SIGHS)
I think it's cool
you work in a bookstore.
Is that a sentence
from your memoir?
It's a hyperlink to
the question of,
"What else do you do when
you're not in this bookstore?"
I write. Well, blog.
God, that's embarrassing
to tell you. (CHUCKLES)
- What's it called?
- Mmm.
Here. It's, uh...
It's on Tumblr.
Um, can you hold this?
(BAG CLATTERING)
(KEYS CLATTER)
(SIGHS)
"I don't want to sleep but I don't
know what I'm waiting for."
- That's a nice name.
- (CHUCKLES)
Modern.
Actually, I already
knew about it.
(WHISPERS) I googled you.
(CHUCKLES) You googled me?
CALVIN: Paul! Yo.
We met a couple months ago.
Kyle's friend. Calvin.
Oh, yeah. Calvin.
(CHUCKLES) Um, anyway, I, uh... I
didn't know you were a writer.
But, uh, my girlfriend,
Mag... Maggie...
- Maggie... Maggie is a big fan of your books.
- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
And so we came out,
and I was like, "Oh, fuck,
it's Paul." (CHUCKLES)
So, yeah.
I read all your books
when I was in San Francisco
two years ago.
I was really manic. They helped.
Um, I told all my friends
that, uh, I had this feeling
when I came here,
um, we're gonna meet
and become friends.
CALVIN: Okay, baby, don't.
Anyway, um, (CHUCKLES) I was wondering
if maybe you wanna come tonight,
uh, to my parents' mansion in Jersey.
I'm having some friends over.
Your parents' mansion?
- Yeah.
- Like a really big house.
There's a foyer.
- Do you want to go to a mansion in New Jersey?
- Oh, I don't know. I can't...
We... We... We can drive.
We have a car.
Um, (CHUCKLES) well, Calvin can drive.
I can't drive.
- Actually, it's a really funny story.
- Maggie, don't do that.
When I was in San Francisco
and I was manic,
- and I stole my ex-boyfriend's ca... Um... (EXCLAIMS)
- CALVIN: Okay, don't.
- MAGGIE: Yeah. Yeah.
- You should come.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
Do you mind signing this?
CALVIN: Maggie...
I don't sign that book anymore.
Oh.
(MAGGIE CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
- Do you have a pen?
- Always.
I almost thought you were
gonna pull out a computer.
And I was surprised
it was actually a pen.
(CHUCKLES)
You're so funny.
Maggie, we went
to a book-signing.
That's a much
more perfect time...
I have a surprise for you.
(CALVIN AND MAGGIE CHATTERING)
(CHUCKLES) What?
(CHUCKLES) What's this?
PAUL: I got it from your store.
You bought it for me?
They probably don't pay you enough.
You're owed a gift.
Oh. Oh, you...
Do you accept?
(CHUCKLES) I accept.
(CLOCK TICKING)
Are you sure you want to?
I don't wanna be
corrupting an innocent
or anything.
Oh, no. You... You are.
You definitely are.
Here.
It's good shit.
My friend, Jasper,
makes it on his houseboat
in Red Hook.
Hmm.
Mags?
Yes.
(CHUCKLES)
Yes.
CALVIN: I'm really glad
you guys came.
How long have you been dating?
Oh, we're not...
We're not dating.
Really?
Really seemed like you were?
And what about...
What about you guys?
Oh, yeah. We've been dating
for two years,
but we haven't
had sex in four months.
CALVIN: Maggie...
(CLOCK TICKING)
Is it weird we're here?
Why would it be weird?
(LIGHTER CLICKS)
(DEEP INHALE)
(DEEP EXHALE)
I wanted to put my hand
on your leg just now.
Why didn't you?
Now I did.
- (LIGHTER CLICKS)
- (DEEP INHALE)
(DEEP EXHALE)
Do you wanna go for a walk?
Have you tried acid before?
(SIGHS) Only once.
And, um...
I rode around on a Toronto
City bus for five hours.
Beau and I do drugs sometimes, but it
doesn't always feel the same with him.
Beau is that guy
at the party, right?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Um, I was gonna
call him my boyfriend, but I
don't think that's true anymore.
- We don't have to talk about it if you don't want...
- Oh, no, no, no.
It's just, um,
in a process of...
- Recontextualizing?
- Reconstituting.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Renewing?
(SIGHS)
- Hey, look. We're in sync.
- (CHUCKLES)
When I was in fifth grade,
I used to wear purple and put
glitter on my eyes every Friday,
because I thought that...
(SIGHS)
if the aliens came, they'd
see me and they'd just...
(CHUCKLES) They'd just, like,
take me away.
That's neutrally good.
Can I tweet that?
(CHUCKLES) But I... I...
- I said it.
- I'll just save it to drafts.
Let me think about it.
Where'd you think
they'd take you?
Just away.
(CHUCKLES) Anywhere.
Um, when I was in
the fifth grade,
I was on a plane...
and I... I saw this brown dot.
I thought it was a UFO.
Um...
I think, at first, I was aware
that I was faking it,
but I think
I convinced myself so hard
that I made myself
forget that part.
(BREATHILY) Did you tell
anyone you saw a UFO?
I didn't care if anyone knew.
(GASPING)
I was just like, "I saw a UFO."
I was extremely bored back then.
I was like a bored robot.
(GASPING)
Hey, where you going?
Hey, wait. Wait.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I'm sorry. I just...
I had, like, this crazy
rush of emotions,
and it's just like...
Being here with you is...
- I don't know how to talk to you.
- Okay. Okay.
I mean, you're just like
an idea. You're not...
Okay. Okay. Just...
Just... Just breathe.
- Okay? Just breathe.
- (BREATHILY) So weird.
- Just breathe in. Breathe. Breathe in.
- So weird.
- (BREATHING DEEPLY)
- Okay.
- In. In.
- So weird.
- (EXHALES)
- Out.
(COUGHS, CHUCKLES)
- Is that better?
- You think... You think I'm crazy.
You...
(LIVELY CHATTER)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Sometimes, I wonder
what the point is.
Will anyone give a shit
in five years?
(CLICKS TONGUE) In two?
There's a project
I've wanted to do for a while.
Basically, I would
document everything
that happened to me.
Uh, livestream it,
or maybe just record it
and edit it later.
Make a movie about life.
Wow. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Just, like, a collection
of unrelated scenes.
But I never started.
I think I might be more likely
to complete it if...
If someone else did it with me.
- Me? (CHUCKLES)
- Yeah.
It would just be
our lives, but we film it.
- (BEEPING)
- (EXHALES) Okay.
Just pretend
like it's not there.
(CHUCKLES)
Okay.
(SNORTS)
PAUL: You don't have to.
No, if... If you want to,
I want to. Yes.
(SNORTS)
(ERIN COUGHING)
(SNIFFLES)
(CLEARS THROAT)
- PAUL: Greetings.
- (CHUCKLES)
So, what scenes is our movie
going to have?
First is "Heroin." We inject
each other with heroin.
- Then work on...
- (EXCLAIMS)
Then we work on stuff
on our laptop.
Have you ever been in love?
- Um...
- Or, no, okay, "Cocaine."
We go to nightclubs and bars
with no other plan other than to
snort cocaine every 15 minutes.
(CHUCKLES) That's great.
(BEEPING)
PAUL: Do you ever feel like
you're a robot?
Like you're just on autopilot?
ERIN: More than me
feeling like a robot,
I feel like everyone around me is
one and I'm the only one who isn't.
Do you think I'm a robot?
ERIN: (WHISPERS) Check this box
to prove you're not a robot.
- (CHUCKLES)
- You come up with one.
Um... How about "Or Something"?
You know, if you were a robot,
you'd do it.
- If you were a robot, you'd do it.
- (EXCLAIMS)
ERIN: Power down.
We say "or something"
hundreds of times in a montage
sometimes with context
to convey
a wide range of meaning.
"Or something?"
Do you have an example?
I'm tired of your uncertainty
in specifying commitment
or something.
(LAUGHS)
I like it.
Are you afraid of dying?
I honestly don't care if I die.
- Really?
- It's fine if I die.
Life won't matter
after I'm dead.
ERIN: What about drugs
in terms of your life?
I think it's sustainable
as long as I'm healthy.
I don't do drugs very often.
But it feels okay with you.
Like we aren't...
using them wrong.
I don't normally
do drugs often either.
ERIN: I've never done drugs
two days in a row.
Unless you count
prescription drugs.
Then I've done drugs
lots of days in a row.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Do you ever feel like it just
sucks to live in the world?
What do you mean?
Like, I don't feel
like the world
can provide us with enough
to satisfy us.
I think the world's good enough,
on average.
- I haven't killed myself.
- (CHUCKLES)
If I killed myself,
I could say the world is bad
because I would have evidence.
Sometimes,
I even think I'm happy.
Like, a good level of happy?
Like more of a flat line.
(ERIN CHUCKLES)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
LEAH: Hey!
Hey, Erin.
I thought that was you.
How have you been?
I'm okay.
Well, look, I know
that it's a Sunday,
but, uh, Daniel's throwing
a party tonight.
I told Beau, but he said that you
guys weren't really, like, talking.
You're talking to Beau now?
What happened with you guys?
It's nothing.
We're just on a hiatus.
You should come.
It'll be, like, so good for you.
I was thinking of
reorganizing my closet.
- There's this video I saw online...
- LEAH: Fuck!
Oh, my God. Okay.
God, it's everywhere now.
(CHUCKLES)
Life is hard.
I gotta go, uh,
but you should come.
Yeah. I'll try to make it.
LEAH: Peace!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
BEAU: Stealing alcohol?
- You scared me.
- Can I ask you something?
Without you getting offended.
ERIN: Okay.
How are you holding up?
You're looking a little frayed.
I'm fine.
BEAU: Just asking just to
make sure that you're okay.
Breakups can be difficult.
(LAUGHS)
- BEAU: What?
- (CHUCKLES)
You know,
I actually thought you were
gonna say something nice.
Maybe you were going
to act like a human.
But now what?
You're fucking Leah.
BEAU: Leah's just a friend.
You know what?
I'm seeing someone too now.
It'd be rude not to tell you.
He's a writer. Semi-famous.
He's been called
"the voice of his generation."
I don't want
to do this with you.
(SIGHS)
You know,
I'm making my own movie now.
It's a documentary.
BEAU: About what?
My burgeoning new relationship.
BEAU: (SCOFFS) Your burgeoning
new relationship?
Yeah.
Can I just give you a hug?
Only if it's a platonic hug.
Wait.
PAUL: You saw Beau yesterday?
(EXHALES) Yeah.
He, um...
He told me that
he wanted to hang out again,
but I said
I was doing other things.
Do you think
you'll talk to him again?
Probably not.
I have a surprise for you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
It's MDMA. (CHUCKLES)
You bought me ecstasy?
My mom keeps sending me these
panicked emails about
all the drugs she thinks I'm taking
because of stuff I posted online.
"I don't understand why you must reject
me with your terrible behavior."
"When I send you an email I would
like you to respond to it".
"Your father may continue to
unblinkingly support you,"
"but I see what you post
on your web feeds."
"Actions speak louder
than words."
"It doesn't matter to you whether
you have a mother or not."
- Do you feel bad reading that...
- While I'm on drugs?
No. No, I just feel like
she's ruining the drugs.
My dad used to, like, smoke weed
and make me smoke weed
with him every night.
I used to really sad about it
but he'd just get mad
if he didn't smoke.
Yeah.
I don't want her to feel like
she's failed as a parent,
but I don't really want to
respond to her emails either.
We used to have these
crazy screaming fights.
What about?
When I was in high school,
I used to think the only
solution to the anxiety
I was feeling all the time
would be for me... For her
to create all these
rules and punishments
that went way beyond reasonable.
To take my control away.
She didn't get it. She...
I wanted to punish her back
for not understanding me.
You know, they moved here
so I could become a...
A doctor or a lawyer.
Or something else immigrants
want their American kids to be,
but then I told them
I wanted to be a writer.
You know, when I was
in college, they...
They gave up
and went back to Taiwan.
You don't think they went back to
Taiwan because of you, do you?
It was part of it. Yeah.
After that period,
I decided it was just easier
for me to be emotionless.
More like I was
when I was a kid.
ERIN: How much more?
A lot.
PAUL: Can I read you
something I wrote?
"They walked arm in arm
down the street.
"Reality had taken on the look
of a children's storybook.
"Joanna asked Alex
if he'd ever been in love.
"Alex thought about it
for a moment.
"A light blinked on and off
in the sky".
"He imagined being taken up
to the UFO"
"and bathed in the radiant glow"
"of a many-tentacled synthetic
examination probe."
"Maybe that was
what love felt like."
I wanna go somewhere with you.
- We could fly somewhere.
- We could go to Niagara Falls.
If I go to Niagara,
I would peak on ecstasy
in a one size
too large rain slicker
while the boat takes you
under the water.
That's too cliched.
I would sit
at a high stakes poker table
in an Indian casino wearing
sunglasses and a baseball cap,
- smoke a cigarette...
- Better...
Then say,
"Too rich for my blood, baby."
We could get married
at one of the stupid chapels.
There's a lot of ions
in the water.
(EXHALES)
So it's really romantic.
(JINGLE BELLS PLAYING)
(LAUGHING)
PAUL: Ah, this is what the universe
created, after whatever billion years.
How do you feel?
- A little depleted.
- What?
Kinda tired.
You should not have even
started feeling it yet.
- What?
- Wait, we only took the MDMA, like, 20 minutes ago.
(CHUCKLES)
Mmm, I forgot. (CHUCKLES)
Oh.
I thought maybe the drugs
were fake.
(EXHALES)
You see, when God is working,
a prophet is not a preacher.
They speak from
the mouth of God.
And He said, "How you will
know my prophets?"
He said, "You will know them
by their works."
So, I have to show you the proof that
his here is made by God himself.
You see, when God is using you, it's
different from you in your normal body.
He take you out of you
and He control your mind.
And He control your thinking.
And you will hear His voice
talking to you from the heaven.
Praise the Lord.
And this symbol here
represents the sun.
This one right here.
Everywhere you go in the
world, you see the same sun.
Hallelujah.
(INAUDIBLE)
Two options I'd like to
discuss with you,
just so you're informed of
all the services we have here.
We have an extensive list.
Are you aware of our packages?
There's The Lovers. The Hot
Night, The Honeymooners.
The Aloha Special. The Portuguese Wedding.
The Liberace.
- The Viva Niagara.
- ERIN: Yeah, that one.
MARSHA: Ah, Viva Niagara.
That is a Elvis-themed wedding, tailored
to the Niagara Falls experience.
Then there's the matter
of the witness.
- Do I look like a pineapple. (CHUCKLES)
- You'll be needing a witness.
If you don't have a witness, one
can be provided for you. Jose!
His fee is $50.
You may film Jose.
- Jose's often filmed for a lot of ceremonies.
- Say hi.
PAUL: Oh, good. That's good.
MARSHA: And don't forget
to tip your witness.
REVEREND ELVIS:
Come on, it's time to go.
Hi, come on. Let's go.
We're gonna get you married now.
Here we go, honey. There's Paul
right there waiting for you.
Paul, how are you?
- I believe you know this girl.
- What?
All right, I want you
to get up there.
Great, great.
Well, guys, here we are
in beautiful Niagara Falls,
ready to join you two
in beautiful marriage.
Now, marriage is a beautiful bond
that grows and grows and grows.
And as you grow, you share.
You share your lives together.
You share times together.
You even share with Elvis.
- Uh...
- Paul, I'm only joking.
You know what, kids?
Let's get started.
Paul, please place the ring
on Erin's finger.
- PAUL: The ring?
- The ring.
- PAUL: The ring?
- The ring.
PAUL: The ring. REVEREND ELVIS:
You got a ring, didn't you?
- No.
- You didn't get ring?
- No.
- You know what? It doesn't matter.
- We're gonna start off like this.
- (LAUGHS)
Paul, I want you
to look in Erin's eyes,
and say, "Erin. I take you to
be my beautiful wife"
"in sickness and in health,
for rich or for poorer,"
"till death do us part."
Erin...
Say it.
I take you, uh...
(EXHALES)
Hey, you know what, Paul?
Don't worry about it.
(LAUGHING) - We get the gist.
We get the gist.
Okay. We got it. Erin, look into
Paul's eyes and repeat after me.
"Paul, I take you to be
my beautiful husband..."
I take you, Paul,
to be my husband...
(BOTH LAUGHING)
REVEREND ELVIS:
"In sickness and in health."
In sickness and in health.
- "For richer or for poorer."
- For richer or for poorer.
"I'll always be
your teddy bear."
- Teddy bear.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
REVEREND ELVIS: "Never give you
cause to have suspicious mind."
Never have you...
suspicious mind.
REVEREND ELVIS:
By the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
Paul, you may kiss
your beautiful bride.
Little more, you got it.
Little more.
- Oh!
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(ALL CLAPPING)
REVEREND ELVIS:
Dance with each other.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
So good.
I always believed
That love lasts forever
Like a force of nature
And when I saw you
(LAUGHING)
You were soft as a teardrop
Strong as a flood
But I was falling for you
Falling for you
Dance with your wife.
So I kissed you again
At the rainbow's end
PAUL: Hold my hand!
Hold my hand!
(ERIN WHIMPERS)
- What's that?
- (ERIN EXCLAIMS)
REVEREND ELVIS:
It comes with the package.
Comes with the package.
Just smile.
Smile. Just smile.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
- PAUL: Married!
- (ERIN WHOOPING)
(BOTH WHOOPING)
BOTH: Married!
Married!
(SCREAMING)
(CHUCKLES) It tickles.
(ERIN MOANING)
PAUL: Yes, married.
I don't know, like, a week.
We're in Niagara Falls.
Um...
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.
Call me back later.
Yeah, no. It's good.
It's okay.
- ERIN: What happened?
- Um...
Uh...
My parents called.
I told them we got married.
What did they say?
Um... (CHUCKLES)
My mom had a heart attack.
Jesus, Paul.
- Is she okay?
- Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
No, they want to
fly us out to Taipei
to see her and for a honeymoon.
Um...
It's two-for-one.
Um...
Wow.
- Are you okay?
- So you'll come?
(SOFTLY) Of course.
- Are you sure?
- Uh, absolutely.
(SOFTLY) Absolutely.
Sometimes, you say yes to
things you don't wanna do
just because you're in a...
Your "yes" phase.
What... That's not true.
Like when?
Sometimes, I feel like I make you
do more drugs than you wanna do.
Sometimes, I don't wanna
do the drugs but then
I convince myself
and usually it's a good idea.
- Are you convincing yourself right now?
- No, no.
I'm not. I promise you.
I want to come, okay?
I promise you. I really do.
Babe. I wanna come.
I promise.
Can you think of a new word
for computer than computer?
I don't know.
I don't think my question
makes sense.
Maybe there can't be
a new word for the same word.
Maybe.
Sorry.
I'll let you sleep.
Hi, Mr. Chen. I'm Erin.
It's so nice to meet you.
Thank you both for coming.
Come in, come in.
ERIN: It's kind of heavy.
- Erin.
- It's so nice to meet you.
- How are you feeling?
- Old.
You put sugar in your tea?
You're not supposed to use
sugar after a heart attack.
I think it'd be best if no one uses
sugar, not just people in recovery.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
- You look tired.
I'm taking Erin
sightseeing tomorrow.
We'll be in my room. Come on.
Uh, we can make breakfast.
No, we'll be fine.
She wants to eat local food.
(SIGHS) Um...
I think my mom put them in here
to make me use less drugs.
There's so many.
You look so cute.
(CHUCKLES) Look at you.
It makes me uncomfortable.
Why?
You look so happy in them.
I would be uncomfortable seeing
that many of anyone's face.
Paul... (SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
Have you seen this app?
It calculates how many times you're
gonna see your parents before they die.
You put in where they live, and
where you live, and their ages.
God, that's so morbid.
I got six for my dad, but my mom's
heart condition gave her two.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
ERIN: Put that away.
(MRS. CHEN SPEAKING MANDARIN)
PAUL: Okay.
(MRS. CHEN SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)
All right, they're leaving.
Let's take them.
I still can't get them open.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
The laptop.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
writing are connected for me.
Okay?
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
It's a good thing we came.
There is this app
I wanna show you.
- It calculates...
- ERIN: Paul. Bye.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
I feel like my mom knew
we were on drugs.
Uh, she seems nice. I wanna
get to know her better.
I feel like we're deceiving her.
I wonder what it's gonna be
like for us, two weeks here.
Do you think she likes me?
Yeah, I can tell she likes you.
Um, I just think she thinks
about drugs a lot.
- Is she addicted?
- (CHUCKLES)
Wildly.
Do you ever have to
distract yourself from us?
Um...
In other relationships, I use
food or drugs to console myself.
But, um...
That's not us, so that's good.
Well, we... We do use drugs.
But not to console ourselves.
I think the thing that really
matters to me the most
is just not getting fixated
on things neurotically.
What kinds of things?
Anything.
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMEN OVER PA)
ERIN:
With my first boyfriend, Kent,
he used to go down on me and then
we'd do it missionary style.
It just got really boring
really fast.
(EXHALES) Beau and I
had a lot of sex.
What?
Sometimes, it felt like he was
having sex with himself.
How did that make you feel?
People have different
priorities in relationships.
(ELECTRONIC CHIMING OVER PA)
I don't think
sex is a big thing for me.
Train's coming.
(SOBBING)
Hey, what's going on?
What's wrong?
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
- Let me know what's wrong.
- I don't know, I just...
Huh?
I feel like
I'm an insane person.
- Hey, you.
- I'm so sad.
Your serotonin receptors
are just misfiring, okay?
I know.
You're right. You're right.
You're right. You're right.
(MR. CHEN SPEAKING MANDARIN)
any readings while I'm here.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
book was large for a writer my age.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
ERIN: This place is beautiful.
Yeah, I used to come here with my mom and
her sister when I was really little.
I have these strange,
disconnected memories
that feel really religious.
I don't know if I could feel
that way about something.
It's supposed to represent
the light of wisdom.
What's up?
Nothing. Nothing, it's fine.
Really?
(OBJECT CLATTERS)
I just think my body is all
out of whack from the flying.
I think.
And the drugs?
Yeah, and the drugs.
Okay.
(ERIN COUGHS)
(RETCHES)
(COUGHING)
Did they have a bathroom?
Oh, yeah. (CHUCKLES)
PAUL: I remember
going to Epcot as a kid,
and, uh, this show said that families
were going to have two robot dogs
and a robot maid,
and live in self-sustaining
underwater spheres by, like, 2008.
Technology doesn't have that
kind of wonder for me anymore.
It's, like, some day,
the universe
is just going to be a computer.
And we're all pawns in the universe's
grand plan to become a computer.
And life
is just a cosmic replay.
(ERIN SCOFFS)
That seems kind of paranoid.
I mean, you can't just opt out
of day-to-day experience.
That would be stupid.
Being studied by millions of
entities a billion years from now.
Can I tell you something
that's been on my mind?
Yeah.
(STUTTERS)
You, kind of, speak to
your mom like she's a kid.
I mean...
I was surprised. I've never
heard you talk like that.
It used to be much worse.
I'm just saying, okay? (SCOFFS)
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
You're going to be fine.
(BLOWS NOSE)
Yes?
We should take a lot of MDMA
tonight so we don't fight.
Cool.
So what's the plot of Taipei's
Most Michelin-Starred Restaurant?
We'll improvise it.
Are you feeling your MDMA?
I'm feeling things big-time.
(CHUCKLES)
One big-time style, please!
Let's go!
(PAUL EXCLAIMING INDISTINCTLY)
Okay. Use the NPR voice.
Don't smile.
We're here
in the flagship world's
first four-star
Michelin restaurant
in beautiful Taipei, Taiwan.
PAUL: Let me do it.
Let me do it.
(SIGHS)
This is the first four-star
Michelin restaurant in the world.
They had a grand opening
tasting menu of fish patties.
It's been said that
he's actually the rightful
founder of this place.
Someone stole his idea, now he
comes and eats here every night,
and weeps in the toilet.
(MIMICS SOBBING)
ERIN: Over there is
an installation art piece
- meant to represent world peace.
- Fantastic.
This is where the district managers
hold their weekly meetings.
This little lady,
she's been Employee of the
Month 36 months running,
since she was four years old!
Amazing!
And him?
This little bad boy? He's the next
candidate for the new chicken sandwich.
You could be eating him
next month, folks.
We'll miss you.
Fantastic!
It took them five whole years
to photoshop this.
They had to wait for Adobe to
answer a question that they had
on their message board.
- It's the mother brain.
- (BOTH EXCLAIMING)
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
- Skype.
- Skype?
- Oh.
- Vacation.
- Skype.
- Vacation. Vacation.
- Skype.
Oh, it's depleted.
Hey, can I ask you a question?
Uh, yeah.
Um, did you take
a pregnancy test?
(SCOFFS)
Did you go through the trash?
It was just in there.
Well, then you'll see
that I'm not pregnant.
I think it was just the drugs.
Do you think you should be
on birth control?
I don't like how I feel on it.
Doesn't matter to me if I come
somewhere else or use a condom.
Okay.
I just feel like
if I was pregnant,
we'd both be on the same page.
Um, can you explain
about the page?
Paul...
- I mean, I just...
- We got married.
Yeah, for the movie.
Look, (SIGHS) I just feel
we got in over our...
Hey, Erin, wait! Wait.
No, Erin, wait, wait!
That not what I meant.
Well, then, what did you mean?
What do you think all of this is?
Hey, no, okay. You're my wife.
This means a lot to me.
I don't want to lose you.
Do you think
I want a kid right now?
You always talk to me like I'm
not in control of my life.
- Fuck!
- What are you talking about?
- Erin...
- I said let go of me!
- Okay, no, hold on.
- I said let go!
I'm not doing this with you
while we're on molly.
I'm sorry
if I ruined our evening.
I was... I was enjoying it.
So was I.
Are we okay?
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have yelled.
Everything just got
really confusing, really fast.
It's just, like, a really
fast, generalized sadness.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Try to be happy.
I'm worried I'm broken.
You're gonna have to replace
me with a newer model.
And it's just really weird
doing this every night while
we're here with your family.
- I'm a tourist here, too.
- Sure. Sure.
I's true. So it's not just you.
I'm gonna go back and go to bed.
(INAUDIBLE)
(DOOR CLOSES)
PAUL: Could you
not touch my stuff?
- (PHOTO-FRAME CLATTERS)
- Okay. I'm sorry.
I feel like you're not
respecting my space.
Your space?
Hey, can we talk about this?
Hello?
PAUL: What?
What's happening here?
- What's happening?
- Get off of this.
Don't grab things from me.
Why won't you listen to me?
I am.
You're not.
You're just multitasking me
like another device.
That's not true.
(ERIN SNIFFLES)
(CELL PHONE CLICKS)
(TYPING)
(TYPING)
(SNIFFLES) This isn't me.
This is...
I can't control my emotions
and my circuits are all
misfiring. I just...
Maybe I...
Maybe I need to go
on medication.
It's not good for you.
Well, how do you know?
- You could become dependent.
- Did you read that somewhere?
- No.
- Well, then, how do you know?
I just don't wanna fight
with you.
I think I need to...
(SNIFFLES) I think I need to spend
tomorrow alone. Is that okay?
(WOMEN CHANTING INDISTINCTLY)
(GONG TOLLING)
(GONG CONTINUES TOLLING)
ERIN: Paul spoke about how, eventually,
the universe will just be a computer,
which I'll also be a part of.
From that computer's
perspective,
it won't even matter
if I'm never a famous writer,
or am too anxious to communicate
with the world around me,
or have no friends.
Everything will make a,
sort of, monochromatic sense.
Everything will be equal.
You should sleep
before you travel.
ERIN: Oh, I'm...
I'm not tired.
You and Paul always stay up late
at the computer, I suppose.
Yeah, we're making a project.
Did he tell you about it?
There've been many projects.
I never understand
this videoing.
It's like a movie, but real.
"Real," yes.
I'm sorry we didn't get to spend
more time with each other.
Maybe next time.
Good night.
It's been very nice
having you both here.
Thank you for hosting us.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Needs pepper.
Yeah.
Thank you.
(CRIES)
(GRINDING PEPPER)
Hello, everyone!
Um...
I'm Erin, and I wanted
to talk to you about today.
Um, well... (CLEARS THROAT)
Today has been...
I was thinking
of re-organizing my apartment
and I just thought there might
be something in that for people,
like, re-organizing your apartment
for a life of isolation.
I am just thinking about apartments,
and solitude and... (CLEARS THROAT)
I just feel like, in each
successive phase of your life,
- you should reorganize.
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
Oh, hold on a second.
(CHUCKLES)
Whoa...
I came to get some stuff.
Yeah, I'm really busy.
You can't just turn up.
That's not how it works.
You have to text first.
I'm gonna see Calvin and Maggie
at Birdy's, tonight.
You should come.
I don't think
that's a good idea.
Yeah.
- I'm going...
- Bye.
- Wait. Hold on, wait. What about my stuff?
- Okay, fine.
(SIGHS)
There's just too much pressure
to be depressed.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
As a writer.
Is there anything
I can do to help?
No.
No, I don't think so.
Is there anything I can do
to help our relationship?
Is that still what
we're calling it?
We are still married.
I just don't want
to tell anyone what to do.
Least of all, you.
You wouldn't be, you'd just
be answering my question.
Do you ever feel like
you're relating to someone else,
but really, you're just
relating to yourself?
Was Taipei really that bad?
Terrible.
Paul told me he enjoyed it.
Really?
I mean, you could get a divorce.
Why did we even get married?
Why did you get married?
To piss off my mom.
Oh, yeah, actually?
- No.
- Oh. (CHUCKLES)
No, not really.
Explain this to me again.
We take them, but we don't talk.
We only communicate
non-verbally.
Not talking, I think, is the kind
of communication that will help us.
(PAUL MUTTERING GIBBERISH)
(PAUL BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
What are you thinking about?
- What are you thinking about?
- Paul, we're not talking.
No. Oh, no, this isn't what I...
This isn't what
I expected at all.
Oh, I can't breathe.
(PAUL MUMBLING)
Oh, God, please. Oh, God.
I think I overdosed.
I overdosed!
ERIN: Paul, you can't overdose
on mushrooms.
Oh, God. (PANTING) Okay.
Erin, Erin,
you have to console me.
Erin, you have to console me.
Hey, you have to console me.
You have to console me. Please.
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Please,
you have to console me.
You have to console me!
But you're just a projection.
You're just a projection!
(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
Oh, my God,
you're just a projection.
(GROANS)
Why'd you let us do this?
It was your idea.
(GROANS) You should have
never let us do this.
(PANTING, MOANING)
Am I going insane?
(PAUL CONTINUES MOANING)
(PAUL GROANING)
(SIGHS)
(COUGHING)
It took them five whole years
to Photoshop this.
They had to wait for Adobe to answer a
question that they had on their message board.
PAUL: It's the mother brain.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
(MAN SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
PAUL: You don't have to.
No, if... If you want to,
I want to. Yes.
(KEY CLACKS)
(SIGHS)
(PAUL GROANS)
Morning.
You know what?
I'm happy I'm alive.
(SNIFFLES) I deleted it.
- Deleted what?
- I deleted our footage.
I'm sorry. I just...
(SNIFFLES)
I really wanted it to work.
But we didn't back it up. Why?
I know, it's just me.
I'm talking about the footage.
It was something
we made together.
We don't have to stay married.
- It's not that easy.
- Why not?
There's so much out there.
There's so many places to go.
So much to see.
And I just don't
wanna wake up one day
and realize that it's too late.
I want you to know that I tried.
I did. I really, really...
I really tried.
(SIGHS)
I'm trying to find the words.
It's so hard to describe.
It's this movement...
That's the word. That word.
It's "movement."
What?
(SNIFFLES) I'm just...
I'm trying to work out
where I am,
and I haven't
found that out yet.
(EXHALES)
I gotta go. I'm sorry.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
Erin, wait.
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)