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His Father's Voice (2019)
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Sure. Going halfway, that's farther than yesterday. Oh yeah that's fast, so fast. All right so move forward, right there. Yeah. Superman! Wanna relax, like I showed you? Like your mom did? Open your legs, open your legs. Oh no, not like that. Careful guys. Relax, there we go. You could climb up, but Princess Nora didn't know how to climb so she got the chair, she pulled it close to the cupboard. She climbed on the chair and tried to reach to the little door where the chocolate was kept. But then... Mmm! Spicy! Thanks. She's abandoned in a forest, pregnant and vulnerable. That is not something you do to the love of your life. She trusted Rama. She thinks it's just a pleasure trip. Imagine her agony when she finds out what was about to happen! No wonder she throws herself into the Ganga! But Ganga protects her. Her children are born in the river. Lava and Kusha. Twin boys. Marvelous! What's so marvelous about it? The imagination of the writer. Then, he should have imagined a story where Sita is treated better. A woman would have written the Ramayana differently. The audience will not accept that. Don't you see the irony of it? Rama exiled Sita to satisfy his people and you want to give our audience what you think they want? The Ramayana works. Just stick with it! Where is the need to get creative? Rama had Sita pass through the fire to test her purity. Where do we stand with this story? We'll worry about our audience later. Hmmm? There's someone at the back gate. The main entrance is on the other side. It used to be on this side. I came through the forest. May I come in? Of course. It would be easier if you open the gate. Hi. I think you can let go of my hand now. What is it to belong to Sita's Universe? Every dancer in our play must find an answer to that question. Skanda? I am looking for my father, Jon. Skanda, you don't recognize me? Where is my father? You've grown so much! Please. Will you tell me where my father is? Jon is not here. But he will return. When? Your father disappears often, days on end. But he will return. Please stay. Do you really want me to stay? Skanda, this is your home. Kris. Valli. Valli, take him to Jon's room. Would you like to look around first? Sure. You could leave your bag here. I hope Jon comes back soon. Yes. I wish he was already here. We sell more tickets when Jon's here. Is that all you ever think of, Sabapathi? That is Kausalya. Rama's mother. Pining for Sita, her daughter-in-law. Rama's mother? She loved Sita like her own daughter. That is Janaka. Sita's father. Sad, and angry, at the same time. Love the way it sounds! Yes. Sanskrit is the language of the Gods What's the story? It is the last episode in the Ramayana. Remember? Yeah. What's so special about the last episode? It is where Lava meets his father. Rama? Yes, for the first time since his birth. How old is he? Did his father send him away? Something like that. It's beginning to sound a lot like my own story. I have lost the habit. It will come back. This is Shiva. Parvathi and Skanda. Skanda? Yes. They have been here for a few years now. What happened to the house? Termites! It was eaten from the inside. Jon was hardly ever there. It had to be re-built. It's still here? Yes. I drive it now. Look at these kids! They will play here all the day long? I did that too as a child. Clay is good for the skin. I'm sure it is. Really? The water is warm on the surface and cool under it. We should join them some time. How about now? We could leave you here and pick you up on the way home. Come on, it wouldn't be as fun without you and the kids! Dad, can we build a mud pool at home? Sure, Kris. Yay! I would love that, Jon. How did you meet Jon? We met in Benares, on the Ghats of the river Ganga. My first trip to India, with my parents. Love at first sight? Pretty much! I think the way he told me the story of the Ganga, that did it for me. That's a beautiful story! My parents went into shock when I told them I want to marry him after being with him just a day. You got married at Benares? No, we never got married. Of course, you did! We call it the Gandharva vivaha. Gandhar what? Gandharva. That's when our parents don't agree. They will have to accept Jon some day. He makes a great father! Yes, he does. A father who can't say no. Nice! Thank you. Hey. Bed time? Come. Say good night to Mamma. You guys have fun playing? Yeah. Let's go. What does it mean? She is telling her lover paint a leaf design on my breasts. Put color on my cheeks. Lay a girdle on my hips. Twine my heavy braid with flowers. Fix a row of bangles in my hands. And jeweled anklets on my feet She is good! My mother is Indian, you know. Really? Yes. And your father? Austrian. Such a lovely combination! Yes, it is, no? That's him? That's not Appa. I see him like that. How? With my imagination, I make him my own. Can you teach me? Sure, Skanda. It's easy. But the imagination is all yours. He looks so different, Amma. I like it! Come, let me tie your dhoti. Come. I get a better view now! That's Jon's room. That portrait? It's Jon. Yeah! You dance? Yes. You look familiar. Who are you? Kris. Kris? I could have guessed by that mole on your cheek! How you have grown! Kris, wait! Welcome home. You were playing Rama. Yes. Were you just pretending to miss Sita? He looks so much like Jon. I tried talking to him. But he is not the Kris I know. Who knows how he has lived all these years? His mother cut us off completely. I somehow feel responsible for everything. What's for dinner? Chickpea salad. Mmm, Sundal. Parvathi, they are not going to have any appetite for my salad now. It is an offering from the Ganesha temple. It's delicious! It's very tasty, Amma. Clara. I have upset her. Kris, I got a new song for you Yeah? Show me. It is simple. You see. Wanna try? Try Valli. Here we go. Everybody! The beginning. Everybody! And compassion. Please. Anger. Yes, anger. Courage. Nice, Valli! Fear. Something you are afraid of. Disgust! That bad smell and taste. Astonishment, wonder! It is peace. The balance of all the emotions. What is that again, Valli? Compassion. Laughter. Astonishment. Marvelous. Kris, Valli, come. Time for your lesson. Mom, can we practice a bit more time? Clara, we are done now. Come. Go on. These wind turbines are built on high ridges, on the sea coast, or open plains. That is because there's a lot of space and much wind can come. Can't we build one here? It'll be a little bit expensive to do that. And it's huge, they are huge! They are most productive if there are many together. You see this little small ladder here. Imagine a human being here. It's so huge! And it takes a long time to climb it. Very long time to climb. And it's much bigger than the trees we have here. So, sometimes they go up here to actually clean or repair it. Who wants to go to the beach? Yeah! Mom! We can study the wind at the beach. Okay, go on and change. Come on Meet you at the gate! Come with us. Yes mom, come with us! Okay. Let it go, Parvathi. I know why my mother chose you, for me. Why? Because she knew, I would always love you, like she loved my father. I think it is the other way around. She knew I would always be with you. You think your father is still alive? That's what my mother believed, till the very end. I choose to believe the same. He wouldn't have let her die, if he had been here. Yes. She missed him a lot. Absence can kill. The only image I have of him, is a picture. Sometimes, I will his image to move and to say something to me. He speaks. I cannot hear his voice. All this for a father I haven't actually known in my life. How much more terrible it must be for Kris? I hope Jon returns soon. I hope so too! Lava is Rama's son! He has been blessed with the power to invoke celestial weapons at will. Play it with a little more gusto! Look at how she's playing Chandraketu! Try to match that energy. Vishwa, it's four, not five! Kris, you do it! Nice, Kris! Thank you. That's how it is done. You did a good job, Kris. Valli, Skanda, come, walk with me. Lovely evening, isn't it? Yes, it is. I would like to tell you a story about my parents, about your grandparents. A long time ago, when my mother Kannamma was about your age, there was a terrible drought in this village. Her teacher taught her a composition imbued with the power to make it rain. She prayed to the Goddess Annapurna for her blessings. And the rain that followed her dance made Kannamma famous. Do you know the composition, Amma? Yes Valli, I do. I'll teach it to you some day. I'd love to be able to make it rain. It's so cool. I'd like to learn it too. I'll teach you both then. Now, for my story. Kannamma made a vow to the Goddess to thank her for the rain. She would dance at her temple, at Devaprayag. Where's Devaprayag? It is where river Ganga begins, up there in the Himalayas. But she never made it there. What happened? Your grandfather was with her on that journey. They reached Haridwar, 100 kilometers short of Devaprayag. He left her there by the river bank to attend to a sick man and never returned. He was doctor, wasn't he? Yes. My mother was pregnant with me then. But she didn't know it. Neither did he. What could have happened? Kannamma waited in Haridwar until she found out she was pregnant. There was an epidemic of Tuberculosis in that area and she didn't want to get infected for my sake. And so, she returned home. Did she go to Devaprayag? No. How could she in that state? She returned home. What about Dada? Kannamma heard about a doctor working high up in the mountains, trying to save a whole village affected by the disease. She believed it was him. She believed he would come back to her once it was all over. But he didn't. No. Perhaps, he would not have left her had he known she was pregnant. I know what it is to grow up without a father. What made you come back? Every night, for the past few months I've been having this dream. In it, I am swimming, trying to reach my father. He's standing in the water, singing to me. But before I can reach him, I drown. I wake up breathless. It's impossible to sleep after that. Do we have to be cast in stone to keep smiling like that? We were so small! Your grandparents? I feel strange looking at this picture now. Why? It's only now I know their story. Amma kept it from me all these years. I think she shared it to help me. It's a deep pain. She didn't want you to carry it as well. I know. But I wonder how many other secrets she keeps! There's something I haven't told you. What? I was afraid to dance with you the other day. Afraid? Why? I freeze. Sometimes, it's as if my feet get nailed to the ground. What do you do? It gets worse if I struggle. So, I try to do nothing. And yet you danced with me. You are brave! I just felt safe with you. It's a strange coincidence. What is? You are returning after 12 years. So? That was Lava's age when he meets Rama for the very first time. A father he'd never seen before. But you know Jon. Do I? He must have changed too. Sometimes I wonder about Parvathi Akka and my father. What do you mean? I wonder if she's the reason he decided to stay. She cannot be the only reason. My father is like a brother to him. And Parvathi Akka? Go, yay! Whoo! So what did you guys learn today in class? We learned the nine sentiments. Food! Ready. Oooh. Clara? Yes, please. Thank you. Valli. Thank you. A little more? No. Okay. Kris. A little more? Oops. No, no, no. We don't eat noodles by hand. Come, I'll show you. Take the fork in your right hand and the spoon in your left. You take some on your fork. Yeah, and then you roll it around. It is like dancing with the noodle. Yeah, and then you can eat them so nice without getting dirty fingers. Tasty! Mmm. Yummy! I'll make some more. I think it's not going to be enough. Jon! This is not funny! You are setting a bad example! Sorry. Jon, stop it! They need to learn how to eat properly. Come on Clara, it's not such a big deal. It is for me! Clara has become very strict. Yeah. She's being so hard on Dad. Jon is silly sometimes. He likes to make us laugh. It's hard to see them fight. Yes. It makes me sad. I am here for you, Kris. Honey, do we have any biscuits? Why are they coming after so long? They want to meet their grandson before they get too old. Why are you so stressed? Just be yourself. You are a grown woman. They'll just have to learn to respect the choices you've made. They still have to get over my choice of you. Please be nice to them. It's not going to be easy for them to see what you put us all through. What? Hey, that's not fair! When have I forced you into anything? I just want to get away from here. You're always around Parvathi. I wonder sometimes if it's only about music between you both! You never want to go anywhere! Shh! Keep it down. You don't get it. Do you? No. No, I don't. Did you think about what I said? Yes. My answer is no. Why not? Because he's my son. He's my son too. I don't want to put him through this. Let Kris stay with Parvathi if we are going to be fighting. I am his mother, not Parvathi! Just stop fighting with me! Nothing I say is right. What happened to us? I can't talk to you either. Do you love me? Switch off the light. I need to sleep. Kris. Kris! Kris! Hey, Valli. Your bed is not comfortable? The water is warm. I must have dozed off. You were a tree before. Now you are a fish. Come along now, everybody is waiting. Give me my clothes, Valli! Come and get them. If you insist. Come a little closer, Valli, please. You must be feeling like the Gopikas that Krishna stole the clothes from. So you want to see me naked? Did you find Skanda? Yes, Amma. He was sleeping in the mud pond. Mud pond? He was naked. You saw him naked? No, Amma. Then? His clothes were by the pond. Amma. Yes. Was Appa ever jealous of you and Jon? There were moments. So? What do you want to know? Nothing. What are you writing? My diary. Could I look? Oh, okay. I thought you would be sleeping by now. Parvathi, I didn't see you. I couldn't sleep. Why not? I keep hearing this melody and I can't figure out what it is. It's killing me. Hum it. That is Hemavati. It is one of my favorite Ragas. Jon, stand here. Remove your shirt. Let your hair down. You are just as naked when you sing. What do you mean? Your voice has a quality of wild abandon, passionate, without decorum and all consuming, claiming for itself, all who chance to listen. I have never received a better compliment. Clara, stop! Why are you doing this to us? To us? There is no us! Us is over! Kris needs me too. Yes, he does, so come with us. You know I can't just leave. I have commitments here. We have programs. I'm their singer. You decide, what's more important to you. Your son, or your stupid commitments! This music is my life. How do you expect me to leave all this? All this? Or Parvathi? She's my friend and teacher. You are blinded by your jealousy. I'm leaving. You make your choice now. I'm doing this for Kris. He needs to go to school! You're using Kris to punish me. You don't love him. You just love yourself. So, why don't you come along and prove that you love Kris more than yourself! I can't leave. Just leave Kris and go wherever you want. I'll take care of him. Like hell you will! She owns you. Don't you see that? He will be running around getting dirty while you are waiting for her. I want a different future, for Kris, for myself! Stop! I'm begging you. Don't do this. It's too late. This is Rudraksha, tear drop of Shiva. It will protect you. Wear it always, Skanda. Why did Shiva cry? Because his son was going away from him, far away! Come, Parvathi. We cannot make it more difficult for him than it already is. Dad, will you come visit me? Yes, Kris. Yes, I promise. I love you. I won't let you go, Kris. Your father sings with his soul. I don't always understand the words. But it never matters. Why? He listens to me singing. Then he sings his own song, using his own words. What's it like to dance to his music? It's a part of our life. So, when he disappears, like right now, there is a void. There's something of him in every song I've ever danced to. Did you take to school in America? In the beginning it was really bad. Everyone made fun of me. I didn't understand anything of their, their rules. I didn't speak to anyone. I found it hard to breathe. I didn't understand why all of a sudden none of you were there for me. That's what hurt the most. I told myself that I was to blame. That Dad didn't love me anymore. That you and Parvathi Akka, you didn't care. We were not able to reach you. We tried for a long time! All the letters that Jon wrote to you, to your grandparents address were returned. Where were you? Everywhere! We never stayed in a place for more than two years. That explains it. I thought you knew where we were! Kris. Kris! Go change, Kris. Go on. It is Jon who showed me this place. It's so peaceful. We used to come here for our walk together. Did he think of me? Often! Where did you go when you left here? America. To live with my grandparents in San Jose. That was for the first two years. After that, Mom got a job in New York. That was for a year, then, London, and after that, Perth. Wow! I would love to see those places too. Some day! Yeah. But I missed Kaavadi. I missed all of you. How did you stay in touch with Bharatanatyam? I was 18. We had just moved to Perth. There was a Kalakshetra teacher staying in our neighborhood. One day, I just really wanted to dance. So I joined her classes and I never stopped going after that. Did it happen during practice? It happened in class too. That's terrible. No, it was a good thing. My teacher saw me standing there like that, you know, all of a sudden, rooted to the ground. We talked. I told her of my life in Kaavadi and everything that had happened since. She helped me understand that I needed to reconnect with my father to dance again. She really helped me see that. You'll be okay, Kris. You'll see. There was no one to protect Sita in the forest. Sita is the daughter of Mother Earth. She doesn't need protection. It is Rama who became vulnerable when he sent her away. It's so true what you say! Without Sita, life loses its charm for Rama. She accompanies him into the forest only to watch over him. Ravana lost everything when he offended her. Has Rama no role now? If you ask me, the epic should be named Sitayana. I agree. You are beginning to worry me. The public will not like this. The story has to start with Sita pregnant, all alone in the forest. Why would she be alone? I see the forest deities worshiping her. That is so true! Beautiful! Is that Sita? No. It's my mother. Yes. She was pregnant with you. We were celebrating. That painting in my room, it's of my Dad. Isn't it? Yes, Skanda. You've painted him like a guardian deity. That is how I see him. Kris, there's somewhere I'd like to take you. Where? Come on. Your daughter has a mind of her own. Sita should hate Rama, right? For what he did to her. But she doesn't. How's that even possible? Because she understands him. That what he had to do, is what he did. Even though it is terrible beyond imagination, it is love that made her understand. Do you think my parents understood each other? The question is if they loved each other. I don't know. What is love, without understanding? True. You see that name? Skanda Ashram. We missed you, Skanda. May I ask you something? What is it? Were you ever jealous of Amma and Jon? Yes. But, only until I saw the painting. The one that's hanging inside Jon's room? Yes. Then, I understood. I couldn't be jealous anymore. Jon is back! We've always been together, Kris Nothing could separate us. Not all this time. Not all this distance. Every time I sang, I sang only for you. And every time I danced, I danced only for you, Dad. Will you come with us to Devaprayag? The Himalayas? Yes. We'll fulfill your grandmother's vow. You see, Jon is a success even when he crashes a performance! |
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