(Whistles)
- There's room here.
- Thanks.
- Are you on your own?
- (Whistles)
-Oh, here you are, Joanie, give him to me.
- No, he's all right, Mum.
Oh, no, he'd love to come to Granny.
Wouldn't you, duckie? Yes, there you are. Look.
Here we go again. (Tuts)
- Oh, l'm so sorry. Are you two together?
- Well, we were, but er...it's all right.
Oh, no, no, l'll sit there.
(Laughs)
- Have one of mine?
- Oh, no, no.
- Oh, it's all right. l've got lots more.
- Oh, thanks.
- Ever been to this part of the world before?
- No. You?
- Yes, l was stationed near here
when l was on ops.
- Oh, were you in the RAF?
- Matter of fact, l was.
l thought l recognised the RAF type.
- l was in the WAF.
- Good show!
Let that be a bond between us...
if you know what l mean.
- (Whistles)
- Have you been to the holiday camp before?
- (Whistles)
- l come every year.
Oh, it's wonderful. You'll love it.
Always something going on.
They've got two marvellous dance halls.
- Do you dance?
- (Whistles)
- You will before the week's out.
- (Whistles)
'Ere, Dad, you take him a minute.
- Wipe his hands first, l've got my best suit on.
- Let Granny wipe your hands, duckie.
(Baby cries)
- Aw!
- Let me have him, Mum.
- No, you had him all the way down.
- l'd like to.
- No, he's all right.
Why don't you let her have her own kid
if she wants him?
l want her to have a proper holiday.
That's what she's come for.
What do you think l've come for? Oh!
TANNO Y: Farley Radio calling all campers.
Welcome to all our new guests.
We hope you had a good journey
and that you're ready for the cup of tea
waiting for you.
The Redcoats will show you the way...
- l can't see our cases anywhere.
- Don't fuss, you'll get 'em all right.
Where's Harry?
- Oh, Harry, there you are!
- Don't worry, Mum!
Joe, l can't see anywhere where it says ''Ladies.''
What about this?
- Well, that says ''Lasses.'' That can't mean me.
- lt certainly don't mean me.
- lt's either one thing or the other, love.
- Oh, dear.
Harry!
- Harry!
- Yes, Dad?
- Here you are, this is you.
- Thanks, Dad. See you later.
Oh, Joe, l wish we was all going to be together.
l don't like them splitting us up like this.
Oh, come off it, Mother.
You're always worrying about something.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Are we gonna be shipmates?
- That's right.
l'll toss you for who chooses the bunks. You call.
- Heads.
- lt's a tail.
- l'll stick to this one, you have that one, OK?
- OK.
My name's Gardner, Jimmy Gardner.
My name's Harry Huggett.
Here by yourself?
No, worst luck. l had to bring the family with me.
- Brought your girlfriend as well?
- Not likely. l've come for a holiday.
- Gosh! ls all that chocolate?
- Yup.
Four months' ration. All counted.
Saved it up for my girlfriend.
- What? ls she coming here?
- Yes, she should be in by now.
l don't go for dames myself.
- Through with women, eh?
- That's right.
Well, don't you worry.
You'll fall over the kerb one day, same as l did.
Well, l'm gonna see if she's come aboard.
- Ah, good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
- ls that my bed?
- Yes, l left you the one in the corner.
That's very sporting of you.
- Cigarette?
- No, thank you.
- Fond of music, l see, eh?
- Yes.
l do a bit of strumming myself.
Mostly boogie-woogie stuff.
- What on earth are you going to do with all that?
- Play it.
- What, here?
- Yes, l'm deputising for the orchestra pianist.
- Oh, that's not much of a holiday for you.
- Oh, l don't mind.
- Do you know this part of the world?
- No.
Not exactly Monte Carlo, is it? Dear old Monte.
l remember a wizard weekend l had there.
August, '39 it was. Wonderful weather,
wonderful wine, wonderful women.
Especially one. Daughter of a count, she was.
We had a flutter at the casino one night,
and just as we were completely cleaned out,
l opened my cigarette case,
saw a hundred-franc note, so l said...
Oh.
(Laughter)
(Knocking)
Everything all right?
- May l come in for a minute?
- Well, er... Do you mind?
That's all right. l was going out anyway.
Michael, we mustn't. Not here.
- Why not?
- Someone might come in.
What does that matter?
Oh...it would all have been so wonderful
somewhere else.
Darling, it is a job, and we're together.
- But there's so many people.
- That makes it easier.
l'm frightened. l keep thinking they know.
That girl, she looks at me so strangely.
Don't be silly, darling.
How could she possibly know?
Michael, supposing we're found
and made to go back.
Nobody knows where we are,
or what we're doing, or anything.
We've got one whole week together.
Let's make the most of it.
Darling.
Er...Miss, can you tell me if a Miss Helen
Andrews has checked in yet, please?
- Miss Andrews?
- Yes.
Miss Andrews has cancelled her reservation, sir.
- Cancelled it? Are you sure?
- Quite sure.
Well, did she leave any message for me?
My name's Gardner.
- Mr James Gardner?
- Yeah, that's right.
- There's a letter for you.
- Thank you.
- Hungry?
- No.
- Find out about your girl?
- Yes, thanks.
- l thought you were saving that for her.
- l was.
Four ruddy months l went without my ration
so she could have it. Crazy on it, she was.
When l was stationed at Pompey l used to see
her in the evening, and she always used to say,
''Have you got any chocolate, Jimmy?
l do love chocolate.''
For four months l didn't have a bite.
l even bought a ration off a bloke
who had bad teeth!
- Then she goes and walks out on me.
- No!
The times l thought to myself:
what wouldn't l give now for a bit of nutty?
Then l thought:
no, l'll save it all for her, she's worth it.
l must have been mad!
Well, l'll show her!
Well? What are you gonna do?
l'm gonna eat it!
Every ruddy bar of it, even if it kills me!
l think they've overbaked my new perm.
When l go out in the weather,
it frizzes up like anything.
- l think it's very nice.
- So it ought to, considering what it cost.
Still, l always say, what's money for?
You don't get much chance
to spend it in service,
so why not blow it all on your holiday
and have a good time? Don't you think so?
l hardly know.
l haven't had a real holiday for 20 years.
Coo! Whatever sort of job did you have?
Why didn't you change it?
l couldn't.
You see, l was looking after my mother.
She died two months ago.
We always went to Torquay in the summer.
Always the same rooms, full of old people.
- All with patent medicines on their tables.
- l know.
ln the morning, l used to push Mother
in her Bath chair along the front,
until she'd say...''Well, dear,
l think we've had the best of the day.''
And then... then we'd go in.
ln the afternoon, we knitted, and in the evening,
we sat up till the nine o'clock news. Then bed.
Then another day just the same as the last.
Poor Mother. l know she tried not to be difficult.
And l really think she was very happy,
in her way.
But you weren't, eh?
Well, you couldn't have come to a better place
than this to take you out of yourself.
l hope you're right.
At any rate,
l felt l couldn't stand Torquay again ever.
l wouldn't go anywhere else but here,
not for the world.
l shall come back even after l'm married.
- Are you engaged, then?
- Well, not exactly.
But l'm expecting to be by the end of the week.
- Why, is your young man here, then?
- l hope so.
Ooh, he must be this time.
Every year l says to myself the same thing.
''Elsie Dawson,'' l says,
''There are five thousand people in this camp.
Suppose two thousand are males
and half of them are free and unattached.
Surely one of them must be looking for you.
lt's up to me to spot him first.
Before anyone else, if you follow me.
That's the trouble. They never do.
Follow me, l mean.
Do you think man is still the hunter?
l don't know much about that sort of thing.
TANNO Y: Farley Radio calling all campers.
We would like to remind all parents
that there's a special tea served daily
for all children who do not want to stay up
for the evening meal.
Don't forget, take the kiddies
to the Junior Games Room at four o'clock.
- Does that sort of thing go on all the time?
- Pretty well. Why? Don't you like it?
l don't think l can stand it.
Oh, you'll get used to it.
ln a day or two, you won't notice it at all.
Everything okeydoke, sister?
Hey, Steve, come here.
- What's the matter?
- This cork's loose.
So what? l er... l had one for the road.
Huh. l should think you did.
Well, here we are. Meal tickets for two.
-You keep your mind on these and not on that.
- OK, OK.
But er...what about a quick one
before we start in?
OK. Only remember, we've got to
make our expenses, and a bit over.
There's a... There was a bit on the bus
that er...l'd like to make over.
- Did you see it?
- Yeah.
Bit too up and down for my liking.
l like mine just a little more straight.
The day you like something straight,
l'll hang the flags out.
Well, here's to a spot of luck.
We don't need luck.
Just you deal them in the right places.
Come on, let's go out and find the customers.
Blimey! Haven't you finished unpacking yet?
You're like the donkey's tail! All behind! (Laughs)
l'll put this across your behind
if you don't turn it up.
- Found 'em yet, Mother?
- No.
You'll have to wear what you've come down in.
l can't. They draw my feet something chronic.
Baby's very quiet. See what he's doing, Joe.
And tell him not to.
My shoes! And my toothbrush! lt would be!
- You might look after him, Mother!
- l haven't got eight eyes like an octopus!
Did you pack my hair oil like l asked you, Mum?
Oh, did l? Wait a minute.
Yes, l remember packing it plain as anything.
'Ere, you remember me putting it in,
don't you, Joe?
l can't remember nothing. My mind's a blank.
What do you want to go round
putting that muck in your hair for?
You don't want me to go round looking like you,
do you?
One more crack like that and l'll crown you!
Haven't you two finished unpacking yet?
That's right, come on, roll up, roll up,
plenty of room inside. What do you want?
- Can l help you, Mum?
- No, dear.
Just leave me alone and l'll sort everything out
in my own good time.
- Sure?
- Yes!
You are in a mess.
l think l'll take baby for a walk.
No, dear, he's all right.
Nearly his bedtime anyway.
You get out and enjoy yourself.
- What about you enjoying yourself?
- l like having him, he's no trouble.
And you ought to have a good time
while you're on holiday.
lt's supposed to be your holiday too, you know.
l'd be quite happy
if only everyone'll leave me alone.
- All right.
(Baby grizzles)
- Here's the iron.
- Come on, Harry.
MOTHER: Now perhaps l can get on.
You shouldn't keep the kid
away from her so much, Mother. lt ain't natural.
lt ain't natural for her not to have an 'usband
and she won't find one
moping around with a kid.
All right, all right!
- What did you say you did with my binoculars?
- Oh, you and your binoculars.
Makes me wild every time l look at them.
Fancy swapping our good pram
for rubbish like that!
- What good's a pram to you?
- Now, Joe, no need to be vulgar.
- Where's baby?
- How should l know?
Well, look! l can't do everything!
Hello! You've been quick!
l don't believe in wasting time.
l'm putting on the wolf bait straight away.
- Who's the wolf?
- That RAF type. We've got a swimming date.
Why don't you come?
You might find someone too.
- l don't think l will, if you don't mind.
- Oh, snap out of it, Joan.
You didn't come here
to spend your time knitting.
We all know you took a bad knock
when Bill was killed, but that was ages ago.
- Only two years.
- Look, Bill was a grand type.
But you can't spend forever
carrying a torch for him. He wouldn't want you to.
l'm just not interested in anyone else.
l might as well go about looking like
a wet weekend cos Ronnie's on the Rhine.
l'm sorry, it's just the way l feel.
- l don't think Ron would like it if he knew.
- Oh, Ron wouldn't mind.
When we got engaged, he said
he wasn't the type to tie a girl down.
- He's very broadminded.
- Perhaps it's just as well he is.
Are you going to tell him
everything you do this week?
He's not that broadminded, dear!
Come on, get into your swimsuit
and let's give the locals an eyeful.
TANNO Y: Farley Radio calling all campers.
Dinner will be served in two minutes'time,
so will you please make your way
to the dining hall now?
Dinner in two minutes. Thank you.
So l said, ''Where are we?''
And the navigator said,
''l haven't got a clue, old chap.''
l remember it well,
that was the night we bombed Hamburg.
And, boy, was that a wizard prang!
- l thought you said you were in fighters.
- No, that was way back in 1 940.
l was shifted to Bomber Command,
mostly on night operations.
l can quite believe that.
Excuse me, is this seat taken?
No, come along in.
l was feeling a bit cold this side.
Thanks ever so.
l say, haven't we met before somewhere?
l'm sorry, l don't think l've had that pleasure.
TANNO Y: Good evening, campers.
Enjoying your dinner?
ALL: Yes!
TANNO Y: Well, that wasn't much of a response,
was it? Let's try again.
ALL: Yes!
- l think it's gonna be all right here.
- lt better had be.
All that sort of stuff gives me the willies.
l could do with a hand of cards, myself.
l suppose you wouldn't care for a game?
No, l can't shuffle a pack. l've hurt my hand.
Oh. What did you do to it?
Well, l was leaning out the front of my bus
one day and ran over it with the front wheel.
(Laughs)
- Huh?
- Like some more plums and custard?
- l don't want mine.
- No, thanks.
- Do you ever play poker?
- Well, er...not much.
You'd pick it up in no time.
Why don't you come to our chalet one night?
TANNO Y: Hello, campers.
Still enjoying your dinner?
ALL: Yes!
- What's the matter, Val?
- l was just thinking.
Supposing Auntie phones the school
and finds l'm not there.
lt doesn't matter who she phones
or what she does. She won't find us here.
- You promised you'd forget it.
- l'm sorry.
l will try.
TANNO Y: And now, campers, we've a grand
entertainment for you tomorrow morning.
At 1 1 o'clock, there'll be a display of trick diving
in the swimming pool.
All those wishing to enter
for the tennis tournament
must hand in their names before 3pm.
- Sure you won't come with us?
- No, not tonight. l'm tired.
OK.
Joanie! Joanie!
Look, drop that into Harry as you go by.
lt's his hair oil for in the morning,
you know what he is.
- OK. Good night, Mum.
- Good night, dear.
Remember, you're here to enjoy yourself,
so don't worry.
l'm all right. And don't you worry
about you know what.
Joe? Oh!
(Knocking)
Oh, l just came to leave the hair oil for Harry.
? You put your left arm in
? Your left arm out
? You put your left arm in
and you shake it all about
? You do the hokey-cokey
and you turn around
? That's what it's all about
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? That's what it's all about
? Put your right arm in, your right arm out
? Your right arm in and you shake it all about
? You do the hokey-cokey and you turn around
? That's what it's all about
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? That's what it's all about
? Put your left leg in, your left leg out
? Your left leg in and you shake it all about
? You do the hokey-cokey and you turn around
? That's what it's all about
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? Oh, oh, the hokey-cokey
? That's what it's all about
Well, campers, that's not too bad.
But l still think you're feeling a bit strange.
So l'd like every lad to turn to the lass on his left
and give her a big, friendly kiss!
Well, now that we're all quite happy,
let's have a spot of Knees Up, Mother Brown!
? Knees Up, Mother Brown
After all these years, fancy behaving like that.
l tell you, l was only doing
what the bandleader said.
lt's the way you did it.
l don't know when l felt so ashamed.
TANNO Y: This is Farley Radio
calling all campers.
Here is your announcer
wishing you all a very good night.
Good morning, everyone!
Farley Radio calling all campers.
Good morning to you once more.
There's a bright and breezy day
waiting for you outside,
so show a leg, lads and lassies.
Rub the sleep out of your eyes and get ready
for another grand session of fun and games.
(Jaunty piano)
lNSTRUCTOR: Change!
lNSTRUCTOR: Change!
lNSTRUCTOR: Down!
One, two, three, up!
One, two, three, up!
Ooh! l've had about enough of this, Joe.
Stick it, Mother. Good money we're paying
for this, we don't want to waste it.
Hey, sailor, you dropped something!
Oh, it's you. Hair oil.
Look, l'm terribly sorry about last night.
l didn't seem to feel too well.
What do you expect
if you stuff yourself with chocolate?
- Who told you?
- Your chalet mate. He's my brother.
- Oh, then you know about er...
- Yes.
- You're packing it up, aren't you?
- Yeah, that's the idea.
- Why?
- Nothing to stay here for.
Four months l've been looking forward
to bright lights and lovely grub,
- and what do l find when l get here?
- There's plenty of both here.
Bright lights and lovely grub doesn't mean that.
lt's sailors' talk for going on leave,
meeting your girl, having a good time.
Bright lights and lovely grub.
That's what everyone wants.
- Yeah, well, they don't get 'em.
- Well you won't get it by running away!
- Well, l won't get it if l stay here now.
- Rubbish!
- You've paid for your holiday, haven't you?
- Yeah.
Well, are you gonna let her
take that away from you too?
No.
Look, er...if l stay here,
will you come and have a drink with me?
- l don't drink.
- What do you do?
l was just going for a swim.
You can come along if you like.
- OK, it's a date!
- Only no strings.
- How do you mean?
- l don't want you to get any wrong ideas.
l'm just gonna be someone you know.
The girl who lives next door. OK?
OK!
- Oh, quick! Can you help me?
- Oh, what is it?
The girl in my chalet, she's fainted.
- Better fetch the camp doctor.
- Right.
- What's the matter?
- She's fainted.
Leave her to me. l'll look after her.
- You'd better help me put her on the bed.
- Yes.
No pillow. lt's only a faint, l think.
The camp doctor's on the way.
Oh, please leave her to me.
She's so afraid of strangers.
- Oh, all right.
- Oh, l'll do it.
lt's very good of you.
l'm afraid l always stuff my handbag too full.
l really must get it mended.
l do hope she'll be all right.
Val.
- Val, darling.
- ln here, Doctor.
You'd better go, young man.
You can see her later.
(Gentle tune)
And when l saw both engines burning,
l thought it was curtains for me.
l give you my word, it looked like being the end
of the House of Hardwick.
- Are you the only one of the family left, then?
- Oh, all except my old man.
When he dies, the place comes to me.
l don't really want the house.
lt needs a regiment of servants to run it.
l think l'll let it to a school
and move into the home farm.
- l suppose you live there all the time.
- Oh, good heavens, no. Only weekends.
l've got a little flat in Park Lane
l use during the week.
Like me. l only come for weekends, too.
The rest of the time l'm in town.
Not Park Lane, though.
We must meet up one evening,
have a spot of dinner.
There's a marvellous place in Mount Street.
The head waiter knows me
and can always get us something special.
- Oh, l'd love that.
- Another drink on that?
l don't think l'd better.
l'm a little out of practice.
Nonsense. Drinking's like riding a bicycle.
Once learned, never forgotten.
Here we are.
Just this one. Then l must go and see
what my poor girlfriend's doing.
- l've left her alone all evening.
- You'll do nothing of the sort.
- Who's gonna stop me?
- l am.
You and who else?
- You're hurting me!
- l'm so sorry.
- l don't know my own strength.
- No, you certainly don't.
Caveman.
l just heard a rumour
there's a beautiful moon outside.
- What does that make me?
- Very dangerous.
Drink up, let's go and see if we can find it.
- l don't know that l can trust myself with you.
- l warn you now, you can't.
l'll take a chance. l still know how to scream.
- You know what l fancy tonight, Mother?
- There's a concert on, and a dance.
No, l'm in the mood
for a nice quiet game of snooker.
- Snooker? Oh!
- You can watch.
lt's better than jitterbugging.
What about it, Harry?
- Me? Oh, sorry, Dad, l can't play it.
- Well, it's time you learned. l'll show you.
l haven't got the time. l've got a date.
- Some other time.
- Blimey!
He's in and out like a puff of wind in a colander.
Kids? l don't know why we went in for 'em.
They want to enjoy themselves.
Only human nature.
Well, there's a deal too much human nature
in the world these days.
- How could there be?
- Well, there is, and l don't hold with it.
Look, Joe, if you want to play snooker
how about teaching me?
Don't be daft. l wouldn't know where to start.
Snooker's a man's game.
Well, are you coming to the concert,
or aren't you?
- Oh, Joe! Yes!
- (Laughs)
(Knock)
- That must be him.
- All right?
- OK.
Now remember, don't roll him too hard.
Take it easy tonight.
You don't have to tell me.
Oh, it's you! Come on in!
- Oh, hello, Harry boy.
- Hello.
- So you made it.
- Yes.
- Have a fag.
- Thanks.
- Take a pew.
- All ready, eh?
''All ready, eh?'' Hear that, Charl?
l should say we are.
You don't believe in wasting any time.
l've got an 'orrible feeling
l'm gonna walk back from this holiday.
- l see you've got the drinks.
- He don't miss nothing, do he?
'Ere, gulp it down, boy.
Plenty more where that come from.
(Coughs) Good stuff.
How old is it?
- As old as it's ever likely to be.
- (Laughs)
He knows the right stuff when he tastes it,
eh, Charl? Fix him up with some more.
l... l can never shuffle, can you?
No, l'm all thumbs when l do it.
Yeah, same here.
Well, what are we gonna play for?
We've got to play for something.
- Otherwise there's no interest in the game.
- No, l... l suppose not.
Of course l don't play a lot myself.
- (Laughs)
- Oh, hear that, Charl?
What's he trying to give us, eh?
How about a bob limit?
A bob? Well, l was thinking of a tanner.
l mean, just to start, like.
OK, Harry boy, tanner it is. We don't mind.
We just play for the love of the game.
Don't we, Charl, eh?
lt's lucky he's letting us off light,
l'm playing with my holiday money.
Same with me. All l've got left. Nine quid.
Ni... N-Nine quid?
Why, he's a blinking millionaire!
l mean, nine quid's nine quid, ain't it, Charl?
Certainly is.
Oh, little me! Right, off we go.
First time round.
Er...um...that's right, isn't it?
(Laughs) A pontoon first time round!
Harry boy, this is your lucky night!
(Yodelling)
? A beautiful sight to see
? You've heard the song of the farmer's sow
ow, ow, aye-di-di-dow
? l'd like to be a farmer's boy
and pick myself a wife
? (Mimics donkey) Oh, what a beautiful life...
Dance.
? lf ever you go down on the farm,
just watch next time you go
? And see the farmhands doing their work,
the going is rather slow
(Yodels)
? (Mimics donkey) A beautiful sight to see
? You've heard the song of the farmer's sow
ow, ow, aye-di-di-dow
? l'd like to be a farmer's boy
and pick myself a wife
? (Mimics donkey) Oh, what a beautiful life
Well, that's my little party piece, folks.
Now it's your turn. You know the number.
Bobbing Up And Down Like This.
All together. Are you ready?
(Piano intro)
? Sons of the sea, now
? Bobbing up and down like this
? Sailing the ocean
? Bobbing up and down like...
Hurry up there, Ma, you're a couple of bob out.
? They may build their ships, my lads
? Bobbing up and down like this
? But they can't beat the boys
of the bulldog breed, now
? Bobbing up and down like this
All together!
? Sons of the sea...
- Let's go for a walk?
- Why?
l feel seasick.
? Sailing the ocean
? Bobbing up and down like this
- Well, he certainly cooked us, Charl.
- Roasted us proper.
- Are you sure you've got to go home?
- Afraid so.
Dad would create if he went to my chalet
and found out l wasn't in bed.
That's all right. Suits me.
You want taking in small doses.
- How much are you down, Charl?
- Oh, about 1 2 and a kick.
- l can see you and me walking home.
- Yeah, you're darn right.
l must be down over a quid.
- What have you made, Harry boy?
- 31 bob.
lt's not bad, eh?
Er... l say, l hope you don't mind.
No, come off it! We're not kids.
We knew what we were doing.
You won it, you keep it.
- Come back tomorrow and give us our revenge.
- All right, sure.
l expect your luck will change.
- Tomorrow night, same time?
- Tomorrow night, same time.
- Do you think we ought to, Charlie?
- Oh, it's only fair.
lf it was the other way round,
we'd want to carry on.
- We can't pull out just cos we're losing.
- All right.
- See you tomorrow, Harry boy. So long.
- So long.
Good night, Harry.
(Door closes)
(They laugh raucously)
- Shall l see you tomorrow?
- You don't want to spend all your time with me.
- Oh, l do, you know.
- lt's bad for you. You want to mix a bit.
- Who with?
- All those glamorous blondes at the pool.
l haven't noticed any.
You come round tomorrow,
l'll point them out to you.
All right. What time?
Oh, l can't. l forgot.
l promised Mum
l'd go on that coach trip across the moors.
All right, l'll come along
and make sure you get back safely.
No.
Look, l'll see you at 1 1 o'clock.
- Good night.
- Joan!
Hey, you two!
Would you mind shoving off?
This isn't a reception area and it's booked.
l'm sorry, we didn't see you.
- Good night.
- Joan!
Wh-Where shall l meet you?
l'll see you outside the ballroom at 1 1 o'clock.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Bad staff work, old boy.
You shouldn't have let her get away.
Now, then...where was l, hm?
TANNO Y: Attention all campers.
Will anyone finding the bottom half
of a lady's swimsuit in white plastic material
return it to the office building,
as the owner should have it
in time for the beauty competition.
The trunks of a lady's swimsuit,
white plastic material. Please hurry.
Oh, Harry! Stop it!
(Groans) lt's as hot as the south of France.
When l shut my eyes,
l can almost imagine l'm back there.
When you open them again,
you must get a bit of a shock.
Not a bit. The first thing l see is Angela.
- Anything in the paper, Mother?
- Not really, no.
Why keep your nose buried in it?
- Because l can't look up and keep my modesty.
- Oh, come off it!
lt's no good.
l don't hold with all this undressing in public.
- lt's good for you. Lets the sun get at you.
- l don't want the sun to get at me, thank you.
- Well, l can't see anything wrong with it.
- Can't you?
Look at those two girls over there. You wouldn't
think they were wearing anything at all.
Well, they are. Worst luck.
Joe Huggett, that's enough!
Either you put those things away
or l'm going!
All right, all right!
- Aren't you coming in, Binky?
- Wish l could.
l'm afraid the old ticker's a bit dicky.
Ever since l spent five days
in my dinghy in the North Sea.
l'm gonna have a swim.
l want to keep my weight down.
You won't, my dear.
A friend of mine at Oxford with me,
a Harley Street specialist, says that people
always put on weight on a holiday.
That's because some of 'em
put on too much side.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
- What's become of the matelot?
- l don't know and l don't care.
- Why don't you come in?
- l can't swim.
l nearly can. Only l need someone to teach me.
- Will you?
- l haven't got the time.
- You've never got the time for me.
- All right. ln you come.
- What'll l do?
- Well, the first thing is don't be afraid. Come on.
Supposing l fall in and get drowned?
What'll we do then?
Don't fall in again!
(Squeals)
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
- Who was that?
- Just a girl.
What do you mean, just a girl?
lt was that woman from the dance hall, wasn't it?
Well, suppose it was?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
a man of your age!
What am l supposed to do? lgnore her?
You better had, if you want me to stay here.
Look, the beauty competition starts
in 20 minutes.
- Tell me what l'm supposed to do about that.
- Give me those things, for a start.
OK, OK.
Anything for a quiet life.
l always think men like red toenails.
Don't you, Miss Harman?
l'm afraid l wouldn't know about that.
- Oh, you're writing. Sorry.
- That's all right.
ANNOUNCER: Hello, campers. Are you all
getting ready for the beauty competition?
lt starts in five minutes. Come on now, lassies.
Give the lads a treat.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
Don't be late. You've just five minutes left.
That fella's voice does something to you.
As a matter of fact,
it reminds me of someone l used to know.
You must have hated him
for it to worry you like that.
No, l was very fond of him.
That's why l came here, really.
l don't get it.
There used to be a camp here in the last war.
l mean the one before the last, in 1 91 8.
Alan, he was the man, was stationed here.
- l came up to say goodbye to him.
- Go on.
That's all. l never saw him again.
lt's silly of me to be talking about it.
lt's a long time ago.
l think if you don't talk about things
you get all bottled up inside.
But there, l expect you want to get on
with your letter.
- Where does the announcer's voice come from?
- The control tower.
Control tower?
lt sounds like a prisoner of war camp.
That's right. Only we're the prisoners! (Giggles)
Yes...
..we're the prisoners.
ANNOUNCER: One more announcement
before the beauty contest.
lf you want to rise high in the world, why not
pay a visit to Farley Airport near the foreshore?
Flights every half hour till 6.:00pm.
Charter a plane and take a bird's-eye view
of your chalet, if you can spot it.
- Hello. Are you feeling better?
- Yes, thank you.
- Nothing serious, l hope.
- No, just a faint.
Aren't you going in for the beauty competition?
- l want her to, but she's not feeling very good.
- l'm all right, l just don't want to be stared at.
Come along, Michael, you'll be late.
ANNOUNCER: And now, campers,
the beauty competition is about to begin.
So will all beauties please join the line
now parading round the pool over there?
This is Gerry Wilmot, your holiday camp MC
calling all beauties.
Come along there, girls. lf you don't come
of your own accord, we'll come and get you.
- Oh, come on, Joan, it's only a lark.
- Oh, l don't want to.
lt'd be different if l'd done myself up
as you have.
Me? My dear, l haven't done a thing!
l look an absolute mess.
Oh, come on. You don't need to be really pretty.
Come on, my dear!
Join in with all the other lovelies.
- l'm not going in.
- Oh, yes, you are!
Come on, Bill. Upsadaisy.
MC: That's the idea!
Now we're really getting somewhere!
But surely there are more beauties
who'd like to give the boys a treat?
Don't be backward about coming forward.
Get right on the end of that line
parading round the pool.
Say, you must have been beautiful babies.
Just look at those eyes, those teeth, that hair!
Yes, sir! Every colour
that comes out of a shampoo bottle.
Blondes, brunettes, redheads. l've never seen...
Yes, it's not a bad collection of fillies.
But you should have seen the turnout
at the Battle of Flowers at Monte.
MC: Get a load of those luscious limbs.
Remember though, just look, don't touch.
- Hiya, blondie!
- Ow!
(Posh voice) Oh, l say, what a smasher!
And now our visitor, the celebrated film star,
Miss Patricia Roc, has arrived!
MC: Now girls, l want you to stop and sit right
where you are now, on the edge of the pool.
Then go up to the rostrums three at a time.
Go up, face the judges, turn round once,
and don't forget to smile,
and the very best of luck to you all.
(Applause)
(Applause)
(Applause)
(Applause)
(Drum roll)
MC: Well, ladies and gentlemen, the judges
have selected the winners and here they are.
First... First is No.77.
No. 77!
Joanie!
Oh, it's our Joan!
- Congratulations. You really deserve it.
- Thank you.
Good old Joanie! Well l never, Dad!
Fancy our Joan!
What do you expect?
She's a Huggett, every inch of her.
Bred in the bone, son, that's what it is.
She always was a good-looking kid.
- Takes after my sister Edie.
- Your sister Edie?
She's nothing like her. She's the spitting image
of my Aunt Agnes, and you know it.
- l can tell you which one she's like.
- Oh, can you? How?
The one you can't rely on to keep a promise
is the one she's like.
- Ooh!
- 'Ere, just a minute!
l want to know what he meant by that.
Don't go interfering, it's not your business.
- My own daughter not my business?
- She's not your daughter, she's mine.
You let her manage her own affairs.
Jolly good show! You made the rest of them
look like a lot of cold Spam.
- Wait a minute! Where are we going?
- You want to be rescued from that mob.
- Did you see that?
- Yep.
Of all the nerve!
- l suppose he's got loads of money.
- Rolling in it.
Course he never spoke to her before,
but now she's the beauty queen...
- l don't know about you, l feel like a drink.
- OK, sailor. Could certainly use one.
l think people who pinch other people's people
are the end. Don't you?
That's right.
- Can't trust anyone these days.
- That's right.
- Can't keep anything to yourself.
- That's right.
lf it hadn't have been for me, she wouldn't have
gone in for the competition at all.
Yeah, that's right.
Finished your drink?
You weren't going to suggest another one,
were you?
- No.
- Oh.
Hello. l was just looking for you.
(Piano plays)
- What's the matter, Val?
- Go on playing, please.
- But Val, l...
- Don't stop.
- l don't want you to stop.
- l can't go on playing while you're crying.
Darling.
Oh, Michael.
Darling, what is it?
Michael, we... we've got to get married.
We must.
l didn't mean to tell you, but...
l'm going to have a baby.
MlCHAEL: Val! Are you sure?
That doctor, when l fainted, he told me.
Michael, what are we going to do?
We'll find a way.
What?
l don't know.
But we'll find something.
(Sighs) Darling...
..everything's against us.
Hello, girls.
- l knocked for you last night.
- l heard you.
- You mean you were awake?
- l was shelling peas for tomorrow's dinner.
Let me past, please.
- Now look, l want a partner for tennis.
- Try some other department, this one's busy.
- Snap out of it. l thought you were intelligent.
- l am. Too intelligent.
Well, whatever l've done, l'm sorry.
- Now, will you play?
- (Gasps)
Not if you insist on breaking my wrist!
All right, Romeo.
Hold on here while l get my racquet.
- l'll be waiting.
- You'd better be.
- Where's Angela?
- Gone to get her tennis racquet.
- So you got your own way again.
- Well, it looks like it.
You know, l don't think l like you at all.
Well, don't let it bother you. l shan't.
Did your father ever give you a good hiding
when you were a kid?
He tried it once and l nearly bit his thumb off.
He never tried it again.
Nice little chap.
Seen Jimmy lately?
The last time l saw him he was at the pool,
teaching a smashing redhead the breaststroke.
How interesting. l'll go and watch.
Cheerio.
See you at the Old Bailey.
Hey, sailor!
l want a word with you.
- What about?
- You owe my girlfriend an apology.
- l do?
- Yes. She didn't let you down.
She waited three quarters of an hour
at the ballroom.
Yeah, so did l.
Then you must have been at the wrong one.
- l didn't know there were two.
- Well, there are.
You'd better think fast,
you've got some explaining to do.
- Where is she now?
- ln the lounge with Binky.
With him?
She's keeping him out of mischief
while l get my tennis things.
He's my bloke, Jimmy.
- l wouldn't leave him with the prettiest girl here.
- l happen to trust Joan.
- l wouldn't trust him with my grandmother!
- lf she's anything like you, she'll be quite safe.
- Do you mind if l sit here?
- Hm?
No, of course not.
Oh, dear, l feel worn out.
- How come?
- l dreamt l couldn't sleep last night.
This morning l'm as tired
as if l hadn't been to bed.
You want to stay awake next time
and get a good night's rest.
What's the matter? Smut on my nose?
No, it's just l'm sure
l've seen you somewhere before.
- l never forget a face.
- That's the Hardwick profile.
Once seen never forgotten. Cigarette?
That's it! Now l know.
lt's all coming back to me. Hendon.
What are you talking about?
Your cigarette case. Don't you remember?
You were staying at the Old Bull at Hendon.
l was working there.
And you left your case behind.
- Really?
- Yes.
lt was in the drawer of the table by your bed.
l found it when l come to do the room.
You were ever so grateful.
You gave me a pound note.
So l did. Fancy you remembering.
l didn't often get a tip like that, l can tell you.
l remember thinking,
''That's a real gentleman, that Mr Baker.''
Mr Baker.
That's what you were called then.
Mr Geoffrey Baker.
- l remember bringing your letters up to you...
- Ssh! Not so loud!
Now look, Elsie, you're a smart girl.
And l'm going to take you into my confidence.
l'm here on a special job. lncognito.
- What's that?
- Oh, you know. Different name and all that.
- A sort of disguise.
- Why?
Scotland Yard have sent me down here
on a special job to keep a look out for someone.
Who?
Look, you must keep this to yourself.
- Promise?
- Cross my heart.
- You've read about the Mannequin Murderer?
- Yes.
Well, we believe he may be here.
- (Gasps)
- Ssh!
Here?
lt's only a guess,
but l've been sent down to keep a look out.
- Oh, l'm ever so glad you were.
- Don't breathe a word to a living soul, will you?
ELSlE: You never can tell
what'll happen to you on a holiday.
Listen, it's not the sort of thing to talk about.
lt's our secret. Just you and me.
Just you and me. Oh! Doesn't it sound romantic?
Angela!
- Where's Joan?
- How should l know?
- Where is she?
- l don't know and l don't care!
- She was with you last!
- Take your hands off me!
- What have you done with her?
- l haven't done anything with her!
lt's what you would have done
if you'd have had the chance.
- l thought you were going to play tennis.
- With that lady-killer? No thanks!
- What's he done?
- Need you ask?
- Someone else?
- Wonder he can keep count.
- Never mind. You're better off without him.
- Oh, leave me alone!
l'm feeling mad.
- Anyway, why aren't you with Jimmy?
- l haven't seen him.
You know what he did yesterday?
Waited at the other ballroom.
- That's his story.
- No, l think he was telling the truth.
After what happened with Binky,
you think he's telling the truth?
Maybe you're right, pal.
You bet l'm right. From now on,
l'm going to find myself something better to do.
- Oh, where are you doing?
(Knock)
l thought l'd drop in and let you know
l've done him good and proper.
- Done who?
- This bloke Binky.
- You beast! Where is he?
- l don't know. l don't care much.
Oh, Binky!
- l-l-l thought she'd...
- You'd better go and wash your face.
Oh.
- Lovely view, ain't it, Mother?
- Yes.
There seems to be more sky here, somehow.
That's because of the houses.
But there aren't any.
That's what l mean.
- lt's nice having time for a real talk, isn't it?
- Mm.
l can't think when we had so much
to say to one another, can you?
No.
Quiet, isn't it?
You know why that is.
Cos we haven't got the children with us.
Funny how you never realise how fond you are
of children till you get away from them.
- Joe.
- Yeah?
Joe, seeing all these women at the camp
all poshed up,
it makes me wonder sometimes
if l'm not getting a bit dowdy for you.
What, you? Don't be daft.
Women who go larking about in a pair of panties
and a brassiere are all right at the seaside.
Give me something plain in the home.
Oh, Joe, that's nice of you.
Joe, l wonder when we was last
on our own like this, you and me.
l can tell you when. lt was on our honeymoon.
Oh, that was a lovely afternoon.
Remember we took a threepenny bus and
walked over the golf links to the waterworks.
Oh, Joe, let's go there again one day.
We will.
The next Saturday after we get home, we'll go.
Ooh, no, not that Saturday, dear. That's
the Saturday you're whitewashing the kitchen.
lt'll have to be the Saturday after.
Well, l can't do that one.
lt's my darts match at the Legion.
Oh. Oh, well. We'll go one day.
Yeah. One day we really will.
(Fairground music)
- How old is he?
- Just 1 8 months.
lt's a lovely age, isn't it?
You must be very proud of him.
JOAN: l suppose l am.
ESTHER: What's his name?
JOAN: Jeremy.
l spoil him dreadfully.
l'm afraid l'm a very bad mother.
ESTHER: Nonsense. Babies love to be spoiled.
Have you taken him
to the Punch and Judy show yet?
- No, where is it?
- l'll show you. l often go and watch myself.
- But children are more fun than the play.
- (Laughs) All right.
- 'Ere, just a minute.
- Hello.
- ls that kid really yours?
- Yes.
- You never told me.
- You never asked me.
- You're married, then.
- Of course l'm married.
You don't imagine l'd have a child
if l wasn't, do you?
l wouldn't know. Maybe if l imagine less
about you in the future, l'll be better off.
- Suit yourself.
- Thanks, l will.
Oh, Miss Harman!
l think l've got something of yours.
lt must have dropped out of your bag
the other day when you came in.
Oh, thank you.
Yes, it is mine.
l wouldn't have lost it for anything.
l couldn't help looking.
- ls that you?
- Yes.
- And the soldier?
- Just someone l used to know.
We were going to be married on his next leave.
- Was he killed?
- l don't know. We could never find out.
His name wasn't in any of the casualty lists.
l waited and waited...
but he just didn't come back.
l'm so sorry.
The world's full of unhappy people, isn't it?
You shouldn't think that at your age.
You ought to be happy.
But you're not, are you?
No.
This morning, l passed the ballroom
and l stopped to listen.
He plays beautifully.
How long were you there?
Just long enough to know
that you're very upset about something.
l wish you'd trust me. l might be able to help.
You can't help us. Nobody can.
What's the trouble?
We want to get married and we can't.
Why not?
My aunt wouldn't consent, for one thing.
- Have you asked her?
- Oh, yes.
What about his parents? Won't they help?
He's only got a mother, and she's terribly poor.
She couldn't do anything.
Then Michael must make up his mind
to get a job.
But he doesn't know anything except music
and he can't earn anything at that yet.
Besides, his career means everything to him.
He's worked at it ever since he was a child.
l couldn't ask him to give that up just to keep me.
There isn't only you to think of now.
ls there?
- Then you did hear!
- l'm afraid so.
And l'm glad l did.
Perhaps l can help you now
when you need it most.
- No-one can help us. lt's hopeless.
- Listen, my dear.
Leave me alone. Leave me alone!
Stick.
- What about you, kid?
- Stick.
- Pay 21 s.
- That's me.
- 1 8, me.
- Ah, never mind.
You can't win all the time.
Here you are, Charlie boy.
Here you are.
- Off we go again.
- No more for me.
- l must get back.
- Ah, you can't stop now.
You'll get a winning hand any minute.
You didn't ought to leave the table
when you're losing.
Sorry, l... l'm cleaned out.
We'll er... We'll take an lOU.
No. l've lost enough.
What about these?
There's a tenner here, you know.
- l'll pay you.
- When?
Tomorrow.
You wouldn't let us down, would you?
l'll get it. Honest l will.
Well, l shouldn't be too long about it.
Otherwise we might have to show these to Dad.
l said l'll pay you. l will.
Well, that's got to the bottom of that little well.
Who's next on the list?
We'll er...
We'll have a look round tomorrow morning.
l've er...
l've got other things to think about tonight.
(Clicks tongue)
Hello. Haven't you been in yet? l've
a good mind to push you in like you did me.
Pack it up! l'm not in the mood for larking about.
Oh, dear. Did you get out of bed
the wrong side this morning?
l've a good mind to drown myself.
Don't be silly, you can swim.
What's up? You look as if you lost half a crown
and found sixpence.
- l've lost a darn sight more than half a crown!
- Let's look for it, then.
Don't be daft.
l've been gambling. l've lost a fortune.
Gambling? How thrilling!
lt may be thrilling to you, but l've got to find
a packet of dough from somewhere!
Well, l've got three pounds in the post office.
You can have that if you like.
Three pounds? That's no good.
lt'd be just a drop in the ocean.
Oh.
What will you do, then?
l shall just have to end it all.
Or else go and tell Mum.
(Laughs)
Off you go.
Mum, l must talk to you. l... Oh.
Well? What is it?
Mum...can you lend me 1 9?
1 9?
Why, whatever for?
l've lost it.
But how could you? You never had 1 9 to lose!
No, that's just it.
You don't mean to say you've been betting.
No. Playing cards.
Oh, l'll pay you back, Mum, l promise l will.
l'll... l'll sell my bike.
What, and go to work in the Rolls Royce,
l suppose?
l'll give you five bob extra every week.
lt's no use, Harry, l just haven't got it.
You'll have to ask your dad.
- Oh, l'd rather go to prison.
- Oh, don't be silly.
Cor, the sea ain't half nippy!
- Had a swim?
- No, he hasn't.
He's in trouble, Joe.
l'm not surprised.
Breaking some girl's heart, l bet.
He's lost some money gambling.
Well, blow me over,
if there isn't one born every minute.
- What have you been playing?
- Pontoon.
You must have been potty.
- Well, come on, how much?
- 1 9 quid.
1 9 quid?
What was you playing for, gold bricks?
- Do you know how long 1 9 quid takes to earn?
- Of course l do.
Could you...
- Could you lend it to me, Dad?
- Oh, no, my lad.
You got yourself into this mess,
get yourself out of it.
Oh, Joe, don't be hard on him.
What am l gonna do?
Don't ask me.
You should have thought of that last night.
Learn your lesson, same as all the others.
Thank you for nothing!
- You didn't really mean that, Joe.
- Of course l did.
A son of mine can't handle a pack of cards?
lf l'd have gone to my old dad and told him l lost
1 9 quid, he'd have tanned the backside off me.
- Oh, Joe, he's so young.
- Well, it's time he stopped being young.
Give us my shirt.
ANNOUNCER: Farley Radio calling.
This is Farley Radio calling all campers.
Don't forget the grand parade starts in ten
minutes from the north entrance. Thank you.
l must be off. l wouldn't miss the grand march
for anything.
Well, ta-ta. Thanks a lot.
ANNOUNCER: May l remind all campers
once more to assemble at the north gate
if they wish to join the grand parade.
Everyone is welcome. The more the merrier.
So come along and join the party
starting in ten minutes.
And now for the general programme
of today's events.
At 1 0.:30am,
there's a boxing session in Farley Stadium.
Valuable prizes for the winners of each match.
At 1 1.:45, a special film show will be given
in the theatre, including the Farley newsreel.
Come along. You may be lucky enough
to see yourself on the screen.
At 3.:00pm, there's a grand party for children,
with a comedy conjuring show thrown in.
All kiddies are welcome.
And now l'm going to give you all
a personal invitation for tomorrow evening.
lt's the farewell dance of the week.
The ball starts rolling at eight o'clock,
and l hope everyone will be there
to keep it rolling.
We want this to be a really memorable night.
And for that reason,
we'd particularly like all those of you
who have no friends or family here with you
to make an effort to come along.
You won't regret it.
Paul Jones has a knack of bringing lonely
people together better than anyone else l know.
And with very happy results.
So don't forget, l shall expect you all.
Tomorrow's dance is the last of the holiday
and the one you will remember
till you come again next year.
And you will come again, won't you?
Who's there?
Who is that?
Oh, l'm sorry.
l ought not to have come.
No, don't go. Did you want me for something?
As a matter of fact, it was your voice.
lt reminded me of someone l used to know
a long time ago.
l'm afraid you must think
that sounds very foolish.
Oh, no, it often happens.
Strange how easily a tone of voice
can bring back the past.
You know...yours sounds vaguely familiar to me.
- Does it?
- Yes, l...
- Perhaps it's...
- No, no, don't tell me.
Go on talking, let me see if l can place it.
Do sit down, won't you?
Since l lost my sight,
voices mean a great deal to me.
Yes, l suppose they would.
You'd be surprised how much
people reveal through them.
Much more than they realise.
Do they?
Oh, rather!
You can almost tell what they're thinking.
Oh, that must be very embarrassing sometimes.
lt's odd, but...your voice does strike a chord
in my memory and yet l can't quite place it.
Have we met before?
lf we did, it was years and years ago.
Ah, there you have me.
You see, l was blown up by a mine in 1 91 8.
l lost my sight and my memory too.
No-one knew who l was.
l didn't even know my own name.
- How awful.
- lt was for a bit at the time.
But l've been extremely lucky.
- Lucky?
- Well, in meeting my wife.
She used to come and read to me
when l was in hospital.
- You're married, then?
- Oh, yes.
Very happy. We've got two sons.
- Would you like to see a picture of them?
- Oh, thank you.
There they are.
Yes, they're noisy little devils, but...
They must be a great consolation to you.
They are. Life would be very empty
without children, wouldn't it?
Yes.
There's only one thing that troubles me.
l can't help thinking there may have been
people who were fond of me
but were unhappy because they think l'm dead.
That's why l was so interested when you said
you thought you knew my voice.
Am l the man you thought you knew?
No.
You're not the man l knew.
l'm so glad you're happy.
l've every reason to be.
Come over here a minute.
(Singing outside)
Out there.
Do you see what l see?
- What do you see?
- One of the strangest sights of the 20th century.
A great mass of people,
all fighting for the one thing
you can't get by fighting for it - happiness.
When l first came here, l...
l thought l couldn't stand it.
The noise, the crowd.
The frantic...search for pleasure.
Then l saw it wasn't really a crowd at all.
Just separate individuals.
Each one of them with a different set
of problems and worries, hopes and fears.
Each one of them tired and dispirited.
Eager for peace...
..and yet frightened to be alone.
And l thought if l could help to make them happy
just for a while,
if l could enable them to forget
their everyday anxieties while they're here,
then l've done a little to repay
the great happiness the world has given me.
l'm sorry if l sound a bit pompous over this,
only people have been so wonderful to me
that l felt l...
(Telephone rings)
- Excuse me a moment.
Yes?
MAN.: Would you tell them that
Valerie Thompson is wanted in the front office?
Oh, yes, all right. Right away.
Just one moment, l've a short announcement.
Attention, please. Attention, everybody.
Will Valerie Thompson go at once
to the front office?
Valerie Thompson wanted
in the administrative building.
Someone waiting to see you. Thank you.
Look here, we seem to have been talking
about me all the time. How about you?
Are you going...
lt's very unusual, but l think you can use
the camp controller's office for a while.
Thank you.
That's it. Come on, Val.
- Don't, Val. Don't let her upset you so much.
- l wish l were dead.
Oh, come, my dear.
Surely things aren't as bad as that?
Valerie's aunt, she's turned her out of the house.
l know it's my fault. l shouldn't have come here.
l just don't know what to do now.
We'll see about that.
Take her to my chalet, Michael,
and look after her. l'll be there in a minute.
Oh, thank you.
Can l speak to you for a moment?
- l don't think l know you, do l?
- l'm Esther Harman.
l'm a friend of Valerie's.
lf you've come to plead for my niece, l might
as well tell you you're wasting your time.
l've finished with her and l've told her so.
- You mean you've turned her out?
- Yes.
A young girl like that?
What do you suppose will become of her?
That's no concern of mine.
She should have thought of that before.
- You're very hard.
- Am l?
Valerie's not my child,
but l've given her a home for the last 1 4 years.
lt's meant a great deal of sacrifice
to bring her up properly, but l've done it.
And this is how she repays me,
by bringing disgrace upon a decent family.
- Oh, it's not as bad as that, surely?
- lsn't it?
How can l hold my head up
among my friends now?
Can you hold your head up if you turn
a helpless girl into the street, in her condition?
You're not trying to defend what she's done!
l don't defend it, but l can forgive it.
Well, l can't.
l don't think we'll discuss the matter further.
l've a train to catch.
You can't just go like that and...
and shirk your responsibilities.
Valerie's not my responsibility any longer.
Let her go to the man
who's the cause of the trouble.
Haven't you ever made a mistake yourself?
Never one of that kind, thank heaven.
lf you'd ever known what it means...
to love someone else better than yourself...
..l think you'd have understood Valerie
and forgiven her.
But l'll tell you this.
lf you go now, without saying one kind word
to that poor child...
..the thought of what you've done today
will haunt you for the rest of your life.
- And to think she romped home.
- Well, l told you.
- lf you didn't back it, it's your fault.
- All right, don't rub it in.
l'm not, l'm just telling you.
l got it straight from a bloke whose uncle
washes Gordon Richard's second car.
- And wasn't l right?
- So what?
For once in your life, you've got a good tip.
Excuse me.
l couldn't help hearing what you were saying.
- Do you know what won the 3:30?
- We were just talking about it.
- lt was Laughing Lady.
- Gawd!
- Are you a racing man?
- l like to have a bit on now and then.
Anything for a flutter, you know.
Not forgetting the pools, of course.
- So you like a gamble, do you?
- When the missus isn't looking.
- How's the hand?
- Hand?
Oh, that was for the old lady's benefit.
- What are you two lads drinking?
- Scotch, thanks.
- What about you?
- Same will do me nicely.
Two Scotches, please, miss.
l like a bit of fun when it's going.
Trouble is, it's always going.
(They laugh)
- 'Ere, what were you thinking of doing tonight?
- Oh, nothing special.
Maybe go have a look at the dancing.
Not much else to do except booze up.
Look, we've got a bottle of Scotch in the chalet.
- The real stuff, too. Pop across and have one.
- Lead me to it.
We usually have a quiet game of cards.
Passes the time away.
Suits me.
- Oh, hiya, kid.
- Hello.
We're taking our mate here
over to the chalet for a little game.
- You don't object to the girlfriend coming?
- Me? l'm all in favour.
- Hey, l came for a drink!
- We've got some over there.
OK. lf you really have.
- Here, Joe, l've got a smasher for you.
- l've got one for you, too.
That reminds me of the one about the caterpillar
and the ladybird. (Laughs)
- (Laughs) Cigarette?
- Ta.
Fetch Joe a drink.
(Laughter inside)
Well, what's it to be? Poker? Pontoon?
Oh, l don't mind. Pontoon is the game
where you have a banker, isn't it?
Do you have two cards or three?
l don't remember.
- Two to start with, old man.
- Of course.
lt'll come back to me.
l'll get the hang of it in no time.
Pontoon's where you either stick or twist.
Stick or twist. That's it.
Well, l won't twist you blokes,
you can be sure of that.
Well, that's the fella, my lad.
- Hello, Mum.
- Hello, dear.
- Want anything?
- No, thanks, Mum, l...
l just came to see how you were getting on, like.
Oh, not so bad.
l'm a bit tired tonight.
There's... There's nothing l could be
doing for you, is there, Mum?
Harry, are you feeling all right?
Yes, l'm all right.
Bar being fed up to the back teeth.
l'm sorry, dear.
l still can't lend you the money.
Maybe l can bring Dad round.
Don't talk to me about Dad.
lf you ask me,
he's nothing but a whited hypocrite.
Harry, what a thing to say about your dad!
This is serious, Mum, straight it is.
lf you'd seen what l'd seen,
you'd know what l mean.
Out with it, then, for goodness' sake.
No, l'd er...better not say anything.
lt'll only make mischief.
Harry, l'm your mother and you must
tell me everything. What is it?
lt's Dad. He's gambling.
No!
Fact. He's playing pontoon in the chalet
with them two chaps and the blonde.
- You're off your head.
- l tell you, l saw it with my own eyes.
After the way he let off at me, too.
Pot calling the kettle black, l'd say.
Can't believe it of Joe, l simply can't.
My word, l hope they put him through it.
l bet they will, too.
Oh, dear. First you and now Joe.
What am l going to do?
Never mind, Mum. You've still got me.
l'll look after you. Honest l will.
l'll pay 20s.
- That's me. That's better than two, innit?
- You should have shown those up.
lf he's going to start this sort of caper,
l'll go straight to my sister Daisy.
- Honest l will.
- Why should you get out?
He's the one to go. And l'll tell him so.
Stick.
Beginner's luck, that's what it is.
l haven't had a pack of cards in my hand
for months. Make your stakes.
- lt's a change to see them losing.
- Shut up, you.
- Don't you shout at me.
- Shut up or you'll feel my hand on your face.
(Tuts) No need to quarrel, children.
What are you boys doing?
- l'll stick.
- Buy one.
Cost you half a crown.
Come on.
- Stick.
- Got something good, eh?
Well, now, what have l got? Ooh, 1 3.
Well, l'm blessed. l take everything again.
- You're not finished, are you?
- Yes, l have. Haven't you got enough?
l'm not tired.
l'm finished too. You cleaned me out.
Well, well, well, and l thought
l was settled for the evening.
- Wouldn't like to throw your watch in, Steve?
- No, l wouldn't.
Even if you are broke,
you won't need your bus fare home.
Shut up, you!
All right, that settles it. l'm going.
You coming, Joe?
Yeah, might as well
if the lads don't want to play any more.
- Take me with you.
- All right. As far as the swimming pool.
- And then?
- lf you're not out of my sight in ten seconds,
l'll throw you in.
(Whistles)
Hello, Mother. Not gone to bed yet?
l wonder you dare speak to me, Joe Huggett.
- What's up?
- You ought to know what's up.
- l wouldn't have believed it of you.
- Believed what?
Don't you play the innocent with me.
l can see through you.
- So can l.
- l'll see through you if you don't say what's up.
Don't you start shouting at me, Joe Huggett.
And don't look at me like that, either.
lf you think l'm slaving my fingers to the bone
while you chuck your money away
like the man who broke the bank at
Monte Cristo, you can think again.
l'm going to Daisy's, and you can get one of
your ladyfriends to clean and cook for you,
cos l've had enough of it.
Blimey, what's all this in aid of?
Harry saw everything.
Hm. Found out, am l?
There you are, Mum. See?
He admits it.
- Nothing more l can say, then, is there?
- Nothing.
Before l go, maybe you'll take these
as a farewell gift, like.
My lOUs!
- Where'd you get 'em?
- l won them.
- But, Dad!
- And a bit more.
There's your nine quid, Harry.
Mother, here's four quid for you.
Buy yourself a new hat or something.
Joe!
- How did you do it, Dad?
- Those two lads are just beginners, son.
They like to play with five aces.
- Five aces?
- Mm.
l went one better.
l played with six.
Oooh!
Ooh, Joe, you are a one.
? The Teddy Bears' Picnic
- Michael?
- Yes?
Come here.
Yes, darling?
l've thought of a way
we can be together for always.
How?
We shouldn't have to worry about your mother,
my aunt, or money or anything.
That sounds too good to be true.
Michael, look.
- Val, you're crazy.
- No, l'm not, l'm saner than l've ever been.
l see it all quite clearly.
No, Val. No!
You're afraid.
No, l'm not.
You don't love me any more.
Oh, yes l do.
lf you really love me, you won't let me suffer.
Valerie! Michael!
Hello, you two. What a climb, isn't it?
l'm quite out of breath.
l saw you as l came up the path and l thought
we might walk back to the camp together.
lt'll be company for me, if you don't mind.
My goodness! Look at the time.
We'll have to hurry
if we're going to be back for lunch.
You were terribly near the edge just now,
weren't you?
lt's never wise, l think.
That's the way accidents happen.
l'm desperate about all this.
l just don't know what to do for the best.
How old are you, Michael?
- 20.
- You're still only a boy, aren't you?
But you've got to make a man's decision.
The whole of Valerie's life
may depend on how you treat her now.
What do you mean?
How much does your music mean to you?
Well, it used to mean everything...
..until l met Valerie.
And now?
l still think l might be pretty good.
Mm.
lf you were the only one to be considered,
l'd say take your chance.
But you aren't.
There's Valerie and the child.
Just tell me what you want me to do.
- You may have to give up music and take a job.
- Of course l would, like a shot.
But l still can't see the way out.
l think l can.
When my mother died she left me a big house.
Much too big for a lonely old woman like me.
You and Valerie
had better come and live in part of it.
Oh, no. We couldn't do that.
Why not?
That's very kind of you, but that's no reason
why we should sponge on you.
Oh, you'll have to do something in exchange.
- What?
- Two things.
First, l want you to see that Valerie never has
an unhappy moment because of you.
l'll do my best.
The other's more difficult.
l want you to go away on your own
for an hour or two
and make up your mind about yourself.
Maybe you could be a great pianist.
Maybe you're only a second-rater.
Somewhere, deep down inside yourself,
you'll know which it is.
Only, remember, there are very few geniuses,
and a great many fairly clever young men.
And an awful lot of the clever young men
are playing trios in tea shops or holiday camps.
You go and think about it.
lf you're sure it's got to be music,
we'll find a way.
lf you're not, we'll have to find you a job.
But in either case, Valerie comes first.
Agreed?
Agreed.
? Lively jazz
What about you and me shaking a leg, Mother?
- Not tonight, Joe.
- Come on. lt's our last chance.
- What's eating you?
- Old age and arthritis.
You go and have a dance. l'll watch.
All right, old timer.
Not dancing, Mrs Huggett?
Bad show. Let's show them
a spot of pukka boogie-woogie.
l've never boogie-woogied in my life.
You haven't?
Well, now's the time to begin. Come on.
No. Ooh.
- Come on.
- l can't dance.
l'll teach you. Come on.
- Hello, kid.
- What's wrong with me, Jimmy?
You look all right to me.
Maybe l use the wrong toothpaste or something.
Perhaps it's because you squeeze the tube
from the middle. Come on, let's dance.
The next dance is an excuse-me waltz.
Change your partners as often as you like.
Boys, if you see a nice girl,
now is the time to grab her.
All together now...
? Waltz
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Fine thing. Old age and arthritis.
''You dance, Joe, l'll watch.''
l couldn't help it, Joe, he swept me off my feet.
l didn't see you struggle.
A girl can change her mind, can't she?
You'd better start changing it back again, then.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- You've got a nerve.
- Ah, you know you like it.
- That's what you think.
- Oh, let's make it up. This is the last night.
You don't deserve it.
All right.
Here, here, laddie, have a go.
There's a little lady standing here solo.
- She's waiting for someone.
- A lot you care.
There, lassie. All yours and coupon-free.
Get together. That's it.
Good luck.
- l'm sorry.
- What about?
- Well, this.
- Not exactly your fault.
l didn't want to force myself on you.
Since you're here,
you might try and look as if you're enjoying it.
l am.
Perhaps l am, too.
Joan, you mean...
- You mean...
- Something like that.
Ah!
(Singing outside)
lt's the crowd coming in
for the last night get-together.
Let's slip out for a walk.
l'm not very good at walking.
l wasn't thinking of walking very far.
(All sing rousing song)
Well, what do you say?
You really mean it? Seriously?
l thought l'd made that quite clear. Will you?
- All right.
- Darling.
- l'll dash into town tomorrow and buy the ring.
- Take me with you.
Of course.
We'll go by bus and catch the later train.
- Good night, Binky.
- Good night.
No. Don't go in just yet.
Let's walk down the road by the sea.
No, it's too late. l'm tired.
lt's quiet there and we can be alone.
No, Binky, not tonight.
- Please.
- Hey, there's no need to get rough.
- You won't get anywhere with me that way.
- Come on, don't be a little fool.
That hurt, you big brute.
Come on.
Don't forget what your mother told you.
Keep out the long grass and keep on walking.
Jimmy.
Come on, you two. lt's not a reception area.
This seat's occupied.
l'll see you in the morning. Good night.
l'm sorry, chum,
but you shouldn't have let her go, you know.
Pst, pst. lt's only me.
- Oh, hello.
- l was just going in. Any news?
- What about?
- That chap you were watching.
Oh, that. No, nothing yet.
You'll tell me when there is, won't you?
Yes. l'll tell you.
Who is it you suspect?
Look, we can't talk here. Come for a walk.
What, now?
Just down the road by the sea.
We mustn't be seen whispering here like this.
All right.
- Take my arm. lt won't look so conspicuous.
- All right.
- And don't keep saying ''all right''.
- All right.
lt's very dark, isn't it?
- Keep going.
- Mind. There's a stream.
l've been ever so excited
since you told me you were a detective.
l haven't been able to sleep at night.
l think to myself, ''Fancy Elsie Dawson
knowing a man who tracks down famous killers!''
Some people are like that.
Everything happens to them. Like you.
l mean, you've been in the Air Force,
you've seen different countries,
met exciting people.
Nothing ever happens to me.
What are we stopping for?
You're trembling.
What's the matter? Frightened of something?
Too near the edge?
Frightened?
l've never been frightened in my life.
Never.
All right, you're not, then.
We ought to be getting back and you still haven't
told me what you want me to do.
Let's stay here a while.
- lf you want to.
- l do want to.
What's up?
l'm just getting a drink.
Might as well see what you're doing.
Put that out, you fool.
All right, if you prefer the dark.
TANNO Y: Attention, please.
Will all those leaving today
hand in their chalet keys to Reception.
And, campers, kindly remember-
light luggage only on the coaches.
Heavy luggage on the lorry leaving
the north entrance at 1 1 o'clock. Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
lt may be nothing really. lt's Miss Dawson.
l share a chalet with her, M42.
And er...
Well, it's just that she didn't turn up last night.
l see. l'll report it to the Camp controller.
l wish you would.
You see, she's not the sort to stay out.
l quite understand. l'll report it at once.
Thank you.
Goodbye, campers.
We hope you've enjoyed your stay here.
l wish l were coming on your train.
You don't mind if l write to you?
- No, of course not.
- l bet you think writing's silly.
- Of course l don't.
- You do really, don't you?
- No, l said l didn't.
- All right, then, l will.
Goodbye, Harry.
Goodbye.
Coming, Angie?
l'm waiting for Binky.
l can't think what's happened to him.
He said he'd meet me here.
(Knocking)
- Come in.
Oh, hello. Are you the new tenants?
l'll be clear in a jiffy and you can have
this beautiful suite all to yourselves.
- Had a nice holiday?
- Not too bad. A bit of a mixed crowd.
That's an advantage sometimes.
Yes, plenty of people to choose from.
But just look at this chalet.
lt's more like a prison cell.
ln that case, you're going to feel quite at home,
Mr Hardwick.
Squadron Leader, actually.
How did you know my name?
Actually, l don't think that is your name, is it?
Wouldn't Geoffrey Baker be nearer the mark?
- What the devil do you mean?
- Geoffrey Baker, alias Hardwick.
We have a warrant for your arrest
on a charge of murder. l have to warn you...
Look out.
Smart idea of yours, Baker, hiding in this camp.
lt's taken us five days to pick up your trail.
Oh?
l said l'd have a week,
and, by George, l've had it.
You've had it, all right. Come on.
We'll look after your things for you.
(Sighs) lt has been lovely, hasn't it, Joe?
Best holiday we've ever had. Roll on next year.
l don't know how l'm going to face
a carpet-sweeper again.
Go to Mummy.
- l've got it.
- Got what?
- Binky!
- What about him?
l should have thought of it at once.
He must have dashed off to buy the ring.
He'll be waiting at the station. You'll see.
You hope.