4 Days ago,
I is still a lucky man.
Thanks to my careful planning my life had been harmonious, simple and perfect.
And frankly, I would have never imagined such a situation.
Actually I wanted to do my girlfriend to marry him.
But now is my world head.
But it may also be that I'm the one who stands on his head.
PEKING
My parents always said to me,
you have to go into the distance, so there are no problems in the vicinity.
And if things get tight, you can not just burning incense.
Both proverbs have a deeper meaning.
And both proverbs are important to me, but it comes to the details of.
You never know when an important person comes into your life.
Therefore, I go three times a week for sports. I pay attention to my diet.
And every detail of my life I take several times under the microscope.
I have everything under control, without exception.
I mean, if some people do not too much back to me to my body.
In car salesman Manual are the three steps to success.
Be proactive, stay engaged, and kill your work with a smile.
Most think now that I'm a bore, but so is my life.
Also, I am sure that I have the best girlfriend in the world.
And with it, I have the most important project in my life. you know!
Hi, baby! What a coincidence, I wanted you to call grade.
Well, so what, I wanted to talk to you. I found a job in LA.
In America?
As a production assistant in the Wronald Wright studios.
Did not you tell me you want to become a lawyer?
Xiaoming, I think we should separate for a while.
Separate?
Xiaoming, you're 'n decent guy and you have everything under control,
but I think it's about time that I plan my life.
I know it is difficult, but the time has come. Take care.
Excuse me, uh, I have everything planned for us.
Suddenly it has torn my footing.
... Currently there are many reality shows in America, but one is the leader.
It is called "Punch Me", translated: "Hit me."
Punch me! Punch me! Punch me!
Oh, America!
Hi, I'm an actor Gary Buesheimer and save endangered species.
Yes, that's Hollywood! We save everything!
Then save my life and bring back my friend!
Yan Yan?
On your marks, get ready for ...
Yan Yan needs me. I'm coming! Wait, honey! I'm coming!
Give the sign! I'll go with you to America.
The!
So my day started this morning.
And turned as heaven and earth, I was determined to never,
to fly to the site to America.
All flights booked! Holy shit! This Kack-New Year!
Since you do not get time 's ticket to the Great Wall! I need to Yan Yan!
In order to regain my love I'd go through hell.
Just what moron buys tickets on so 'ner stupid website.
I have to strike, otherwise it's too late!
Good day. I am pleased that we meet. My name is Dawei.
My name is Xiaoming.
Ach so, to rein, yes?
Oh by the way, the tour group from Beijing consists of only two people.
So what I call destiny. These are only two of us.
The boy has Down 's wheel, but since it is not probably the only one.
Indeed?
If you need help, let me know, because both we are in the same group.
Now I want to sleep. I am really tired.
Good night. - Good night. Sleep well.
And the sharpest is: We visit the house
in the Drew Barrymore has lived in ET! You know ET?
"E.T. phone home."
You know, the ugly aliens with long fingers!
Of all my favorite movies ET is the number 1. What are you standing?
I'm not in your group.
I'm flying to LA to reclaim my girlfriend.
You want to win back your girlfriend? Aha!
If we were now in a movie, that would not run as smoothly.
Imagine if we were brothers!
Then we would see on such a trip many curious things.
I fire at you and support you.
In Jackie Chan movies, there is always a "sidekick"?
We could our film "Hollywood Adventures" call, that would be great!
We also go to the Warner Studios, where "2 Broke Girls" is rotated.
That's a hell of series! Ah? "What's up, bitches?"
Since playing with my Kat Dennings. The is so hot! Max!
In the premiere had "2 Broke Girls"
the highest ratings in over ten years. Crazy, huh?
I have to go to the bathroom. - Speak up, not that you're still bursting!
That guy sucks! The only talks about movies, as if the whole life just a movie.
At least have a film script, as happened nothing unexpected.
They have well thought out from the beginning.
Open!
AIRPORT OF LOS ANGELES
I'm Harvey Milsap. Now we want the thing even get to the bottom.
Thank God! I thought I had done wrong what.
This is a misunderstanding. I fell asleep on the toilet on the plane.
The guy next to me has gequasselt and gequasselt and chit.
Therefore I went to the toilet. To sleep!
Well, and then the machine has landed.
We have learned that you have built on the toilet a bomb,
around the machine to blow up!
Engaged in road safety! - Uh, what?
Sequentially! How was the flight? - 1314 to America.
Oh yes? - What did he say about America?
"Death to America."
Now we check only times that you have there made a "business".
Yes! - Let's see if that's true.
Hollywood Adventures. Hello, please come closer! Do not be shy!
Welcome to Hollywood Adventures.
My name is Wei Wei. I'm your tour guide.
It looks like you are still missing some. - We have a problem!
A Xiaoming have eaten something wrong. Therefore, he was constantly on the toilet.
But the airport police arrested him.
Troublemaker!
I did not know that a hurricane would come on two legs in my life.
Long live the Emperor!
My Emperor, please let's not have my head! I ask for forgiveness!
I beg your pardon, my Emperor!
My Emperor?
Do you realize who you wanted to put your hand in the ass?
He is the next Emperor of China. - Who are you?
Listening to you, I say this only once. The asshole of the Emperor is sacred.
How dare you, anyway? Just to clarify: I do not know this woman.
Moment! China still has no emperor. Or is it?
What? The whole world knows that China has an emperor.
Want confirm.
Can you see it? All the world knows that.
Not true?
I congratulate you. They cause grade an international incident.
Oh, no, everything is good! - We were misinformed.
Hey, I'm talking to you. I wanted to explain what was going on which grade.
Second, I'm talking to you! - I told you just saved your ass.
If I had not come, they would have deported you.
Then it would be the been with America. - Now I understand nothing at all!
Slowly the "ne romantic comedy is.
The main character does not like the actress. Cool!
Two B. - So hot I do not!
And you shall take place. Two B.
Hi. A gift for us. - I have to sit here?
Congratulation! You are 'n cute couple. - Thank you very much!
Have you booked the honeymoon package for us?
Hi. Leave 'ne message.
Class! It looks like in 'nem Hollywood movie. Good cop, bad cop.
This is a 5-star hotel? Looks more like 'ne flophouse for bums.
Have you! - And away!
Freeze! - Do you need help?
They were thieves! Thieves! The have my bag!
I should pursue. - Yes to spank them the ass.
I agree. I would have done!
As yet only your things were there. I'll borg what.
Welcome to America. Ha! USA! USA!
My motto is: Super room Super visitors!
Hey, the guy looks like Han in "Fast and Furious".
My name is Manny Love. And I'm the manager of this wonderful hotel.
Taxi! - What's the hurry, Bro?
None As for what taxis.
For the rest, no one may be removed from the tour group.
That's a question of liability.
The guy can not get out yourself. - That's what I mitgekriegt.
We are way assured.
Therefore, we can offer you that we keep your valuables.
Your decision. I would do it.
In exchange you get a pack of this Manny-Money vouchers.
They are valid on all our stops Hollywood Adventure tour.
Manny-Money. Since is it even 'n picture of me to let you know that it is genuine.
Am I right?
Xiaoming. Can you tell me once, what do you need a taxi?
Seeking my girlfriend.
And what does that mean? Do not tell me you sit on!
I told you, I'm looking for my girlfriend.
You do not think that I'm doing here with you honeymoon.
Do you do that on purpose? - No!
I've said this before not mean it. Will you forgive me?
I can not forgive you. I am sleeping.
Come to Tommy's Golf Shop. We serve the best clubs and balls.
Punch me! Punch me! Punch me!
The long collaboration between Film Director Wronald Wright
and the insanely famous actor Gary Buesheimer is over.
We know the two through their cooperation
the most successful box-office hits of the past decade.
Awaken from your sleep and be alive!
This is now past,
because after their last film "Another Man's Kiss"
caught Wright Buesheimer in bed with his wife,
the rising starlet Kelly Ashley.
Wow! It seems endangered species are not the only wild things
wants to free Buesheimer.
Oh, my sweet Kat Dennings, my goddess.
Okay, and beautiful smile. - The Oscar!
Sagt: "Cheese."
The is made of pure gold. - There you go, it is possible!
Hi. Leave 'ne message.
Hi, Yan Yan. It's me. I have to tell you a very important thing.
In this rating, the most famous mouse in Hollywood can be seen.
You can take a picture. - Baby.
Why staring at me this giant mouse on so? Is it because I'm 'n cool guy?
Imaginary you're not well.
Hi. Leave 'ne message.
Hi, it's me again. Somehow before the connection was lost.
I do not know if you got my last message. I wanted...
Fucker!
Okay, we have to leave.
What shoud that? I have degrees times two photos shot. Why such a hurry?
Plug your phone finally a. - Why then?
I am also a woman. When she thinks of you, they will call you back safely.
Something is wrong here.
Indiana Jones is not a left-handed. The us want to piss real here.
Ah! They. Hey there! Hey there! Remain standing times!
Stop the thief!
I have her! - No movement. FBI!
Leg pocket away! - Abolish the bag!
For the first time, I hope that what Dawei says is true,
that all this is a Hollywood movie only and does not take place in reality.
Wow, what 'ne performance! Real realistic.
These are real weapons. Take cover! - Real weapons?
Xiaoming, you need help? - Not necessary, thank you.
Yan Yan!
I want my phone! - Survival is better!
Captain America is alive!
And!
Steh auf. Lauf! Beeilung! The, the, the! Beeilung!
Now I have her call missed!
You should tell the others that you have to call. - Oh yes?
Quick off here going on, Hurry! Get out!
Hello, I'm Captain America!
Shit, what did I say!
Quick, give me the pole! - Can you catch?
Then give me the other, quickly!
See if it still 'nen are output. - Yet 'nen output? Take a look!
We must get away from here!
When it's time to jump, then jump!
Now come on! - You dare! Is not far.
I have a plan. Finally, I've seen enough movies.
Leave it better be!
Hurry up. The same has occurred the door!
Tempo, boy!
Record with the bag!
You're a fucking tour guide.
And you an idiot! Who said you have a plan!
Thanks for the soft landing. I'm going to the police.
That's' ne tremendous idea! FORGOT the airport yet?
The cops wanted to lock you up. Thank God you are the emperor.
Give me the bag, then I'll take you to the police.
Do you think I'm stupid? - Come on, give me the bag.
If you want to live, come with me!
I can not believe it!
I've got an idea!
Not enough!
There you are!
Who are these guys? And what do they want? - Nothing else, only the bag.
This thing? Then they give it a visit!
It would be better, you give me the bag, and then we part ways.
Then everyone is responsible for themselves.
It's out of the question!
Wait a minute, what's this? Do you deal drugs?
A horn of rhino? Spend the da not draus combs?
But you risk our lives? - What do you mean, is buffalo horn.
Rhino is ground, then you get a permanent stand.
That stuff is fucking expensive in America.
The tour group is just a cover for your business!
Your hawked Potency under the hand!
This is contraband in a big way! Those tourists also to the group?
That's a set-up. - That's the way it is. Except for the two of you.
Somehow, the uncovered too fast, I think. If that's' s screenplay,
then have already begun to turn before the author is ready.
Do not you feel ashamed? I'll bring the bag to the horn to the police.
It's not the way you think. - I would have liked 'nen popcorn buckets.
If you let me go yesterday had, then I would already at Yan Yan.
Hey, now wait a minute! You do not know you here, but I live here for years.
One suggestion: You give me the bag, and I'll take you to your girlfriend.
First you take me to my friend, then you get the bag from me.
Do we.
So we seal a deal in America. We have a deal.
Gut so?
Key! Here we go!
Oh, Agent Li, Interpol is not necessary. This is the responsibility of the FBI.
Before I have drawn attention to this smuggling ring,
operated with impunity before your furry nose.
If I were you, I would not talk but into deeds.
Dominions, procured me the rhinoceros horn and jerks,
which have taken over on the.
Holy shit! The Terminator T-1000! Away from here!
That's just the security guard. - No, that's the Terminator!
He comes back from the future to destroy humanity!
It consists of liquid metal and can transform into any form.
A killing machine! Away quickly!
You've seen too many movies. In thee haunting the head. Come down again, yes?
Scheiegal, I have to go in there!
However, it looks complicated.
Second, I've got an idea. - Be careful!
The whole thing is I really extremely embarrassing.
I do not think that they can fool the T-1000.
I forgot the tickets.
Perhaps it is still possible that we could see the backlot.
I do not want to lose my job namely.
See what I wear for 'ne stupid uniform.
Oh shit, which is equal to gouge out her eye with his finger.
Look! Nice shoes.
Always go straight, then turn right at the alien maternity ward.
It 's great building. Wronald Wright Productions. You can not miss it.
Thought of milk?
I'll be back with the milk.
There we are. War 'ne good cooperation. Maybe we'll meet again.
Only when I found Yan Yan.
We have a deal. What if she's not here?
I thought I could trust you. - Oh! Yes!
My Goddess! My beloved, my goddess, Kat Dennings.
I want to do to you back in time, even if it there is no electricity,
no Internet, no movies and series are.
The car is flying across it and it touches the guy on the finger. So 'n nonsense!
This is Hollywood. Nothing is impossible here. Huh, my goddess?
The next casting is for Jimmy Wilson. Jimmy Wilson!
Let's see if we come from behind. - I have a plan.
Oh goodness that seems neither?
Hi.
Hi. I'm sorry, here you are not right.
The woman has no idea that Dawei is a famous actor.
Yes, they do not know. - We came for the auditions.
This is Tong Dawei, my client.
OK. But are you sure you are right with us?
Wronald Wrights office, a moment please! - Do not believe us.
Uh, no, no. Tell her that ...
If you do not go, I call security.
Oh, now I understand. They swarm us from here because my client is Asian
and he can not participate for this reason at the audition?
Uh, no, I did not ...
I did not know that this is intended only for white actors.
I did not say.
Are you aware that we have a black president,
of getting upset about the lack of diversity in Hollywood?
Please be a little quieter, yes? I'm the casting director say
that Mr. Tang Dwyan ... - moment, Tong!
Sorry. Sorry! - DAWEI: That's okay.
I'll let them know that Mr. Tong is here. Please sit down.
If you need anything, water, coffee, Please tell about it. - Thank you very much.
Good presentation. - It is full it entered.
I still have not see anyone who can bluff as well.
How do you mean?
You are talented. Man does not realize that you are lying.
You think me 'ne liar?
One thing I swear to you. Whoever spreads a crap about me, which is due!
That's not what I meant. I mean, you're good actors.
Oh yes? Well fine, then let's talk about your talents. - What about me?
You're a control freak. Everything should run according to your plan. - Is that bad?
Let me guess. You've planned the life of your friend,
but they never asked if she has plans of his own.
That's why she left you. And you run after her.
That is my life! You're a criminal, disguised as a tour guide!
You do not know how developed your life, what is right or wrong.
Well, now let's see Yan Yan down to finally part ways.
Okay, the next one is Tong Dawei. - This is me!
Well then, come over here!
Next, on, on the screen. On the mark. Exactly there.
May the force be with you. - Very much.
To infinity and beyond!
I am the king of the world!
Oh, my God, who is horrible! Where did we get it? discovered on YouTube?
Interesting! Okay, could we please hear a dramatic monologue?
A speech perhaps?
Should I call security?
One, two, three ... Action!
What life has in store for me, I will never forget the words of my uncle:
"With great power comes great responsibility."
This is a gift from God, as we know. But it's also a curse.
I did not understand a single word. Although I am Asian, but not as a!
If there is a performance full of emotion and truth,
lets them language superfluous.
No, I understood the deeper meaning,
because the words have penetrated into my heart.
That you should write, people, you're witnessing the birth of a superstar!
We have the seventh apocalyptic traffic policemen found.
Bravo, Sir! Bravo!
I already knew that it is something special when I asked inside him.
The boy there is the Asian DeNiro. - Yes!
A pretty little fellow!
Ah, Wronald Wright. - That must be place Yan Yan.
Are you sure that it works here? - One hundred percent.
Here is not a stinkin 's photo of me.
Did you find something? - Not a trace.
I wanted to let my hair grow until butt. The cut is impossible.
It is determined on the set. Here it is not, anyway. This is the mask.
Hm, what you can do with such a head everything.
... Shooting in the Hollywood exhibition.
The police have taken suspects into custody,
including a businessman named Bung Ho Lee, as Manny Love known.
I'm just a Korean immigrant who wants to live the American dream.
When this incident ...
We should change our appearance. - Smile some games. What's wrong with you?
The hat makes' nen others from you. Do you like him?
And what do you think of this shirt? That would be you, is your size.
A smile, a smile, a smile!
Health, my friend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's up man? Ye are two movie stars.
I have the package. I'm on my way to deliver it.
Give me my passport, then I'm out immediately. Listen, uh ...
Hi, honey, you missed me? - Do you want a ride, Miss?
Oh, there's also Dougie. He drives us to the location. Yan Yan is there.
Oh thank you very much.
Hey.
Oh. Do not mind him. He's wild. Say hello, open land.
Sit back and relax you. Now it's off to the set
How long since the ride? - Two hours.
Have you ever made, Dougie?
I'm going for ages. And so I will not proceed, I have my navigator!
Was sagt er da?
- h...
I do not want to be impolite. A biscuit? - No. Thank you.
Is quite irritating.
Hm, good stuff! - Hey, there's with you any biscuits?
Do you live on the moon? We serve a lot of fortune cookies.
Sure, you dud! - Nevertheless, I have talent.
That's why you're doing well. - I'm the big DeNiro.
Well, who do we have here? Mr. Manny Love.
Do you have any idea how much trouble are you?
Bros, you have to believe me! I'm not a lawbreaker.
I love the American law, I love America.
The since you seek. I did not know that the Hollywood Adventure Tour
just a cover for their illegal activities.
I gave you my consent,
my hotel and my records to search.
You will notice that they used me.
I am ready to cooperate, if they go to jail.
Dougie!
- Morgen!
Stay on the road, right? Hm? - Do not be upset!
Dud! - Dud.
This Manny certainly means you much.
Manny? That's ridiculous! Because of him, we have all the trouble.
I have to smuggle people cheat every day.
This has happened to me. I am a criminal. I trusted the wrong person.
And the rhino horn, what happens to it? - I think that I could get out.
With the money I could buy somewhere for a new passport,
brand new start and back to go home to my family.
How old are these chicken legs?
Dougie! Dougie! Wake up! Dougie! Wake up!
Wake up! Wake up!
Dougie! Wake up!
Dougie? Dougie? Whether the dead by the impact?
If you found in a film with a dead Americans, that's bad.
Its my fault. I should take the helm.
No, my. The studio wanted us go out there so tomorrow.
I surrender, Sheriff.
I was the one who Dougie yelled, "Now!"
The get anyway with nothing.
If you were not here, we would have long since bitten the dust.
You're so right with what you said in the elevator.
Oh. And I've just thought up.
Can you ever start?
Wow! You're great!
Hey, wait, we have not yet entered! Wait a minute to us, Dougie!
So what's going on? Here determines comes right over a car.
My cell phone was still in there.
Dawei, tell me, if this were a movie here, what would happen next?
The fact that we run.
What have you got in your hand?
The "Golden Bird", which my father gave before his death.
I was eight. I remember well how he gave it to me.
The streets were full of people.
And we ran through an alley. Suddenly there appeared a type.
He tried to tear down the necklace my mother.
But my father wanted to prevent it. Since the type pulled a gun.
My parents died before my eyes.
I was then brought up by our butler.
He was a nice man and was loyal to my family.
Now I travel the world, to learn everything about life.
Finally, I will take over my father's business.
Is that true? You're like Batman!
A huge boots.
However. - I wanted to be sure.
What is behind? - That has been 'n giant here.
America!
Here's' nen big barbecue boots. Man Barbecue! I Riesenhunger!
Come on, come with me over there is the store.
Comic types. Somehow I'm still not hungry. - Let's get away.
Come on!
Reach for the sky!
Stop it, what about this nonsense? - The will make us shallow.
I'm the guy who plays' nen guy who dresses up as a different type!
I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love it.
Are you kidding us, boy?
We need to come up with what. - Why so serious?
Punch me! Punch me! Punch me!
Beat me. - I want what?
hit me! - Are not very close?
You left the phone in the car and he took off with it!
No need to shout at me so! Want even more problems?
You're a liar. A liar who lied to their friends!
I beg your pardon? - Your whole life is just lies and deceit!
Even the impact is faked.
Here 's window must be open. It was like 'ne light breeze.
Whiskey for all!
Beautiful trick. They are excited and your nose is bloody.
You've got 'n mighty thud it.
I am so sorry! I did not strike so hard.
I've got it coming to him.
And what I said before, I did not mean it.
You know what? You're not the first idiot who travels by half the world,
to find the person he loves.
Tell merely no baloney! You feel the same?
Sometimes, because making love blindly. - Is he in the film?
Not everyone in Hollywood is in the movie business.
I always thought he was the right thing.
One day he said to me, he would tell me something very important.
I immediately thought of a request.
So I made my hair, the nails, and I bought an expensive dress.
I thought it would be for it appropriately.
But then ... - Then he made the request?
Yes, but a others.
Well, since it was clear that he is only one of the dishonest types.
And the worst thing is, he never told me all these years, the truth.
I'm sorry for you. - Oh, you know, past is past.
Today I feel good.
Only I feel towards my parents guilty.
They told me he would be unreliable
I then go under any circumstances to America.
They were crying and begging. Unfortunately, I have enforced my head.
I wanted to go to America to lead a good life.
I was ashamed to return home.
Well, and then I found this job as a tour guide.
I did not know that this was only a cover for a smuggler group.
But you should still be able to leave when it's you noticed.
Manny is' n very crafty guy. He knows America well.
And if the cops catch him, he will blame it all on me.
... Then we hold it in place.
So, we have checked your story. You may go.
Thank you very much. Thank you for your hospitality, gentlemen.
Speaking of hospitality, please be my guest at the Five-Star Motel.
I give you also 10 percent discount.
That will never happen. - I admire your honesty.
For that, you get 15 percent.
But do not tell Mr. Stock-in-ass.
That should be our little secret.
Well, who do we have here?
Troublemaker!
Rise and shine, people! Rise and shine, people! The sun is laughing!
Rise and Shine!
Good morning, you lovebirds. - Tomorrow.
Is my little cousin. Should fit you.
Hunger? Ham and eggs? - Unfortunately, we have to go.
We have a long way to go. - On foot? Out here?
At sunset vultures poking in your bones.
Maybe, but we do it already.
No, no, you have to get out riding style. On the Hog!
On the Hog? - That sounds very powerful.
Did you really 'nen driving license?
I guess because we need high. We have made it equal.
Do you?
Wait! If this is a film that takes me the snake bite in the butt.
And Xiaoming would poison suck me out of my butt, to save me, right?
Your film is shit!
"During the filming of an animal was injured." We cut out.
leave seems to be genuine.
Hello? Hello? - Is anyone here?
Here's some living soul?
Away from here!
I can not believe it! Are you Robocop?
You shoot so incredibly good. Where did you learn that? - From movies.
I think that's your gun. - Tell's anyone.
All right. - Cut! Cut!
Were we in grade 'nem film it? - Cut! Cut!
Cut!
What was that? What was that! The car should not roll over!
The car should go directly into the building, after which it explodes!
Have you changed? - No, sir.
Someone that has changed. Who has changed?
Who dares behind my back to simply change any things, huh?
You, you with the beard! Have you changed?
Can any of you change anything here? so are movies shot?
"Wronald will never know of our affair. He is like an idiot standing there."
"But what makes that when we have so much fun around a bitch?"
Fuck you, damn you, Gary Buesheimer! Huh!
Fuck you, Gary Buesheimer!
Who should be fucked? - Gary Buesheimer.
He slept with the wife of the director. - Great! The hardcore version.
Divorce is hard. But making movies is harder.
So when I say that the building will explode over there,
then this means that the building will explode!
Uh, the building is just explode?
Who the hell are you huh? Do you know what you hired her?
You just ruined my four-million-dollar action scene.
Your she gets from the pasture, bring them behind the barn and shoot them!
Xiaoming -? Yan Yan?
Yan Yan do not tell me you had something to do with this guy.
I wish I could say that. I am so sorry.
Ow, ow, except. Again in the back. Always I get stitches in the back.
Yes, in the back! Full purely in the back.
Who has the thing parked here, huh? Who parked that in my scene?
That was you, sir. - Then propelled's gone!
The explosion is gone off prematurely. Is anyone hurt?
I bare. Pretty hard even. - Oh, you poor thing! Do you need help?
Yes! Today I hurt myself to see if I can still feel.
You are so cute. Well, come in my trailer.
Maybe I can help you to feel something else.
Why are you building again such crap?
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, really sorry. Only because of you I came.
I do not want that we separate. Perhaps there is a way.
Xiaoming, I know what you feel for me. Honestly.
But do not get me. I have found here what I wanted. Something I love.
You're right. I am on your side. I want to be with you.
Xiaoming! - I'll do anything for you.
Yan Yan -! Es ist vorbei, Xiaoming.
Yan Yan!
Please, go now.
Yan Yan?
Can you imagine what he went through to ...
Who are you? Do you have something to do with it? - He has flown halfway around the world,
lost, just to see you almost his life.
Do you know how hard it is, how to find him such a decent man?
Sure, sometimes it's boring, stiff and a bit old fashioned,
and certainly he tries to impose his will.
But he is a man who is true to his word.
And he would sacrifice everything he has, for your love.
For you he would give his life.
So a man I'd never let go. Give him one more chance.
Xiaoming, wait! Do not run away!
I have enough. I have enough. What I thought me to fly here?
You followed your heart. Now you have to face the truth.
Which is? The thing is clear, right?
Incidentally, I thank you that you helped me to find Yan Yan.
Honestly, thank you very much.
Second! I forgot to film this important moment.
I am not in the mood. Dawei, I warn you.
This is exactly the right time. The hero must be only at the low point,
thereby exploded his energy to save the world.
I'm telling you for the last time. This is not a fucking movie!
And I'm not a hero! I'm just a big idiot in the desert.
Marvelous! Can you the word "idiot" more stress and the phrase saying again?
Okay, me that's enough. Goodbye, ladies and gentlemen, the end has come!
Cursed!
Did you lose something?
You know what I love about a good apple pie?
He must not be too sweet.
There are things that are so sweet, because you get animal abdominal pain.
Others are not sweet enough. An apple pie has to be in the middle.
Between. And it belongs to the diet. And we want to be reasonable indeed.
Is this the happy hour back, or here a horror film is rotated?
Oh, I almost forgot. Here's your mobile phone, Bro.
Do not worry, my partner take care of in a secret location to them.
Oops!
Here. Take them and let them free. - I beg you! What do I look for?
Do you think I would have the trouble made to me with this ingenious import thing
uncovered and your name in the Bulls,
then to be a delivery boy, while the FBI me ass smells?
Bro, there 'nen reason why I tricked you.
You make the supply and bring me my money. This is not a game, Wei Wei.
That's just a very sensible business decision.
That's the address of my buyer.
You go there, lieferst off and bring me my money.
Then you get the girl back in one piece. Breeze.
He wants us to take the risk and bring him the money.
I've taken care of your transport. If in the parking lot. You have 24 hours.
A minute later, and I miss her personally two balls.
That's' ne totally exciting.
Is this the right address? - Do you need help?
Stay in the car!
So, in really good films of the Sidekick will never sit in the car.
Hi guys. What's going on? - Rick Fox! Los Angeles Lakers!
Three-time world champion, led by Rick Fox.
We are here to deliver the package. - Cool.
No no. First of coal, then the goods.
Ladies, you can apologize briefly? Gracias.
Listen, so does not that. You give me the bag, the coal you get afterwards.
No. - Xiaoming, here what's wrong.
We can come back later. - It does not work. I want to have the money.
No money, no Yan Yan. - Believe me, here's what lazy.
Is that a yes? - I want to see only the coal!
Yes. OK. Come in.
be very cool. - Clear.
Simultaneously, the ribs are done. turn once more and put it on the plate.
And then there's enjoy!
Yes / Yes! We can start now! Holt times your dish, girls.
Hey, Gary. Two friends looking for you.
Gary Buesheimer, that's the guy from the movies.
Hey.
We have your Rhino here! - I'd not so rumposaunen.
Rhino! In here!
In the bag 's whole Rhino should be hidden?
Uh, yeah! In here! - Release me!
Did you as also happens to be 'ne giraffe in it?
I know a Greenpeace fundraiser when he stands before me.
The work of a true environmentalist never ends.
Come into the house. I present you a check.
I know people. This is pure luxury. The do not care.
You know, while a golden cage may be golden, but he is a cage.
In the spotlight you have to be the good guy,
working hard and tidy donate money.
But the best thing about Hollywood is, it is the only place in the world,
where you can be someone else.
Everything here is fake. You just have to believe it.
And if you believe it, it also believes the audience.
If you have a little imagination, anything is possible. Checkmate.
Of course we are all ordinary people in the end.
And everyone has their little quirks.
Tomorrow, for example, is my annual Pink Party.
And I've done all the planning. You see, and for what?
The public thinks this is a fundraiser
for vulnerable Dodos or so 'n shit.
But actually it is, we dance with the devil.
And again everything is an illusion, but a necessary, addictive.
If someone comes to my house and cries on my lawn in front of all the guests
some nonsense about a rhinoceros horn,
then the smoke and the levels begin to buckle,
and people begin to recognize you, the real you.
And all the work that has been invested to create this illusion,
go down at once the goddamned drain.
Why could you not your mouth shut?
Okay, okay. Here it is. Let them go and take me. OK?
What? You want to play like heroes in movies?
In reality, this is not working.
Run!
Fast!
Where are you going, baby? The Fiesta begins but just beginning.
That's it. That's it.
Only four days ago I was happy and felt comfortable and satisfied.
I thought I had the perfect plan for a full life.
But I had not thought that, if I hang with his head down,
the world is upside down and suddenly you do not know which way is up and down.
Are you okay, Troublemaker?
I'm so sorry. If I had listened to you, we'd gone earlier,
and would not be here ...
Do not talk nonsense. This is all my fault.
Definitely not. Nevertheless, I think we are a good team.
I find even ... - time, take out the garbage.
Dawei, how did you ... - Shh!
Is Dawei there? - Does it might help?
And.
You do not know when it's over, right? - What's going on, Xiaoming?
Hey, I've beaten Rick Fox of the Lakers ko.
I beat Rick Fox of the Lakers ko.
Why did not you used earlier?
Because I ask all the time if you need help. And you say no.
Now we're pretty fucked up.
The Rhino Horn is gone and the coal we did not get.
But there must be some solution.
What comes because now question? We can trade anything.
We have only ourselves.
What is there just now happens Dawei? What have you done with the guys?
After the death of my parents I learned various martial arts,
that I may be stronger and can protect my friends.
I know how we can save Yan Yan.
Will Manny meet somewhere with us? - As long as his bodyguards are.
Can you lay it on the cross Manny and his bodyguards? - Children's.
Dawei, I think you're a big hero, I'm not.
I'm just your friend. - That's what a real hero says.
So you come up with and fight with us?
When it is time to act, act! Running as a hero by the world!
Buesheimer? Gary Buesheimer? It is the buyer, yes?
Correct. - Did he give you $ 500,000?
Jep, down to the last penny. - Nice that everything went so smoothly.
It is reasonable, just like you. - Ah.
Good. I heard that he is to be a difficult test.
Well, you never know who to believe. - Frankly, it was very cool.
We were still a while in his house.
We got the coal. You Yan Yan. Let us swap.
Bring them to the corner ... - Whoa, sister. I say at what is running.
But we have the coal. - And I got the girl.
Currently it is not riddled with bullets.
So, I'll tell you now how it works. We do it on the Pink Party.
Pink Party?
- Yes, because I always wanted to go there.
If Buesheimer and you, as you say, now you are best friends,
should it be a problem to get us a few invitations for the party.
You're become a VIP. but Is' s breeze.
Yes. Yes, of course.
It's just ... - I want to talk to Yan Yan.
Xiaoming asks whether it Yan Yan goes well.
Hello?
Xiaoming -. Yan Yan.
I've heard you want to save me, but I do not think ... - Yan Yan.
See you at the party, man.
Which party?
The exchange shall be at the Pink Party, among all the people there.
In this party one comes only by personal invitation.
The Pink Party is the most exclusive event in Hollywood.
Not even the employees know the location of the party until it takes place.
And we must make the exchange under Buesheimers nose,
which is likely to be quite difficult.
This is Hollywood. Everything is possible here. Nothing is impossible.
Impossible! Get out!
What's happening? Do you have tomatoes on the ears?
Frankly that already.
Oh, I'm concerned we can try if it was hard of hearing so times.
No!
Still 's director who feels lonely and empty. Commend him a pet!
Hey, what did you just say about me? - Uh, he said he understands your feelings.
Oh, you understand? You understand my feelings?
Yes, you sneak on my film set, ruined my action scene,
and now you are asking me for help!
Why should I order everything in the world to help you?
Three words: Fick Gary Buesheimer.
Barbara, put through any calls.
Give me the invitation.
All right.
Hi! - Why do you have a dress?
Just so I can feel really comfortable.
Who is missing is Yan Yan.
His people will be there with her. I see this to me.
And where is Buesheimer? - He'll still. Where is Yan Yan?
Come on, bro, I'm not that stupid. Huh? Where's the cash?
Great!
Schaff purely the princess.
There he comes! Gary Buesheimer is here! - Hey, Gary!
Sorry.
Uh, hi -. Hey!
Say nothing. I know what you mean. This city, right?
Everybody likes them, but it is a cage, a golden cage.
But a cage is still a cage, am I right? - Cage?
You understand me, right? I love your eyes. Are you from Spain?
You're so mysterious. - Mysterious?
Yes, but sometimes you can see behind the mystery.
Sometimes I feel that I can look into a person.
And you have eyes that can not lie.
I have a magic dust that blows you your brain and tickle your soul.
Has your soul ever tickled?
Where is Yan Yan? - Come on, Bro. Soak up the party.
I welcome even the man whose life I have improved for years.
Wait! Wait! - What is?
You want him not interfere while he is employed.
What can I say, I'm a fan.
Mr. Buesheimer, it has been an honor to do business with you.
Businesses? Who are you?
Let us go out of the cage.
All these years I have your needs met.
Are you coming? I need your sexy wand.
How did you get in here? - Dead easy. I'm still friends.
Friends?
I thought you had you taken care of the types, huh? Obviously not.
My parents have always said:
You have to go into the distance, so there are no problems in the vicinity.
This is Hollywood. Nothing is impossible.
If we do not come to the Pink Party, we throw our own Pink Party.
Whether big things or little things, you should always have a plan.
Where's Gary Buesheimer?
And remember, it always comes down to the details.
The car salesman manual describes the three steps to success.
Be proactive, stay engaged and eliminate the work with a smile.
$ 500,000? - You get so again.
Fick Gary Buesheimer, remember?
The director brings his actors on stage.
In Hollywood, nothing is impossible.
You just have to believe in it, even if only one driver is replaced.
I have never really understood what my parents really meant.
Only through my time in America, I understood her advice.
You have to go into the distance, is not to worry about the future,
but to have the courage to face a new problem.
Bro, the deal is off. - Do you think you can rip me off? Huh?
We can not let escape this son of a bitch.
Here I am!
Dawei, help me now! - Got it, man!
Get out! Take care of the!
Hey, the key! - Thank you.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey, thank you lend me your car.
Hey!
What's going on here? - Zip your lips!
Give me the bag! Fernando, you are useless, get out!
You all disappear! You're Fired! I do not want you to see!
Damned useless shit gang! Okay, baby. Let us dance away!
We will do that, baby! Oh yes, we will do.
Wronald? Whoa!
Stop the crap! Let me out! - Do you think well! This is for Kelly!
Eight, nine, twelve thousand.
Safety takes priority.
Beginner!
Strap yourself in, Pretty.
Xiaoming, rette sie.
Hasta la vista.
The fucking bastard escaped us.
Fahr Du!
What you up to? - I'm supposed to listen to my stomach.
Worth it!
Accelerate! Overtaking him!
Hold on! Let me out!
Shoot his front tire.
You're Robocop. Trust me.
Now I got you!
Is a breeze.
So what's only in the film. So an action is completely unrealistic.
Have not you always been told us, that's Hollywood, because nothing is impossible.
I told you that dost thou vindicate yourself as a hero, Xiaoming.
You saved me.
Hands up! Nobody moves! - No movement! You're surrounded!
On the legs!
This is Gary Buesheimer, the movie star and philanthropist.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will ...
Oh, you're like a Christmas pig! - ... Be used against you.
I'm not interested. - God is the disturbed!
That's enough. Incidentally, your last film was shit.
Put your hands behind your back. - Do not Jump, Bro.
Shut up! - I'm an innocent immigrants.
At the end of a film is always all the problems will be gone dissolve.
The good ones have saved the world. The hero gets the beautiful girl.
And love is victorious.
Goodbye, Troublemaker.
Your friend gave us.
I say it for the last time: This is not a fucking movie!
And I'm not a hero! I'm just a big idiot, middle of the desert.
Can you emphasize the word idiot more and the last sentence to say it again?
Do you think I would have the trouble made to me with this import thing
which works great, uncovered your name at the cops,
then to be a delivery boy, while the FBI me ass smells?
There 'nen reason I've tricked you, Bro.
For you will make the delivery. - You may go now.
You'll bring me my money.
And this is not a game, Wei Wei, but only 'ne business decision.
Movies have a think over again that everyone can find the one that belongs to him.
And then the two live happily together until the day she died.
But life is no Hollywood movie. Life is life.
And genuine love upsets a total,
so you would do anything to make the other happy.
Even if it means that the other must disappear from his life.
In real love there are no guarantees. Nothing is predestined.
There are no fireworks and no Hollywood happy ending.
Miss Zhao Wei Wei.
Welcome to your new life. I am your guide Xiaoming.
Uh, is there anything special that you want to do during your stay?
I just really tells something about the happy ending in Hollywood movies.
Forget it. I did not say anything.
Troublemaker.
Please come to bed. I'm bored way.
Hey, free country. Have not we forgotten something?
Was sagst du? Radio, na klar! Ah!
Oh no. - All done. Thank you very much.
A wonderful stay in America. - Put on the gloves!
Sorry.
That you come to our country, does not mean that we come in you.
Even 'ne Recording!
You saved me.
Child's play. - Stop that!
Shit, the cattle has pulled the trigger! - Everything full. Come out, Piggy!
All men in the beds! No, I mean, all hands on the guns!
No!
No, no, I'm not.
Welcome to America.
Flap, the first!
Hollywood. Here I come!