NARRATOR: This looks like
a quiet, peaceful little island...
...in the South Pacific, doesn't it?
Well, it is...
...since the United States Army
took it over.
- Is this high enough?
MAN: Right up on top.
Imagine, leaving out Brooklyn,
the capital of the world.
Yeah, imagine.
That's better.
Come on, let's see if the mail's in.
Okay,
I could sure use a letter from my girl.
- Chris Nyby. Chris Nyby, Nyby.
MAN 1: Here.
- George Nogle?
MAN 2: Here.
Chuck Hanson.
Hey, you guys, gather around.
Cookies from home.
- Roberts?
- Brooklyn, U.S.A.
Brooklyn, Brooklyn.
Having a big family helps sometimes.
Especially when they learn to write.
Anything for Corporal Ed Green, chaplain?
No, son, sorry.
I guess my girl got married or something.
How long since you've heard from her?
Fourteen months, sir,
and she was good dreaming too.
But lately,
I get her mixed up with Joan Leslie.
Then you're in luck, Slim.
A movie unit arrived with the mail
and some film.
I think I saw Joan Leslie's name on a can.
- We going to have movies here?
- Uh-huh. Tonight.
Maybe now you can find out whether it's
Miss Leslie or that girl back home.
Well, they've both got red hair,
that's what started the confusion.
WOMAN [ON FILM]: We'll be together soon,
later on. There's plenty of time.
MAN [ON FILM]:
But then why did you change your name?
WOMAN: Oh, nothing, Albert.
Helen thought it'd be a good idea...
MAN: That's what I mean,
she wants to break us up.
I don't wanna hear anything
against Helen.
But it's true. Day by day, she's
making a person out of you I never knew.
- She's no good, baby.
- Don't say that.
Everything she ever did, she did for me.
You've always been against her...
Joan Leslie's my kind of girl.
She looks like a guy could go
right up to her and say hello.
So she'd say hello.
So, what did it get you?
Me? I'll take Ann Sheridan.
Well, where would Ann Sheridan get you?
Right where you think.
[SINGING]
Oh, Grandpa loves his rocking chair
And Grandma loves her lace
But... It's... To me...
[STATIC BUZZING]
- What's the matter?
- Come on, where's that talking at?
- Where's the sound?
MAN 1: Come on, I ain't no lip reader.
MAN 2: Give us our movie.
MAN 3: Come on.
MAN 4: Fix that gadget.
What's the matter with you?
Sorry, boys,
the rain shorted the sound apparatus.
- You want to call it off or run it silent?
- No!
- We don't care about the sound!
- Give us Joan Leslie!
Yards of dames!
[MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
MAN 5: Girls, girls.
MAN 6: Yeah.
[MEN HOOTING AND WHISTLING]
She's beautiful.
You can tell by her eyes she's nice.
She's got about the prettiest lips
I've ever seen.
Well, Slim,
have you decided which was which?
Yes, sir, she's the one.
I've been dreaming about her,
and not that girl in Altoona.
I'd say you made a happy choice.
[ACCORDION PLAYING
"HOME ON THE RANGE"]
MAN: Hello, sarge.
- Hi.
How long you figure they'll keep us
in the hospital after we land?
I figure Slim and I'll be out
in a couple of weeks...
...then we get our leave...
...and then we'll go up to Frisco
for our orders.
We're sticking together.
We're going on a spree.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, Brooklyn...
...while you were taking your treatments,
I learned a new way to shoot craps.
- What did it cost you?
- Oh, forget it, I don't need any money.
When we get our leave,
I wanna sit in parks...
...and watch people
who aren't trying to kill each other.
[AIRPLANE ENGINE HUMMING]
Get up, Joe.
That's one of our own planes.
Those lights they're blinking mean
"welcome home."
So this is Hollywood.
The birthplace of the biggest beer bust
upon which you ever bent an elbow.
Come on, let's find it.
I don't wanna sit behind a beer,
I wanna see things.
My two-year thirst
ain't putting up with no sightseeing.
Take my lettuce, I don't wanna get rolled.
And help yourself to my dough.
I won't need it,
but I'll keep it for you.
- Meet you here at midnight?
- Okay.
- Are you hungry?
- Yes, sir.
Well, then you've come
to the wrong place.
I'll have the rib steak, please.
Sorry, bub, we've only got one rib steak left
and I'm saving it for me.
How about some barracuda?
We got too much barracuda.
No, I'm pretty hungry.
I've been every place today sightseeing.
- Hollywood Bowl...
- Great place to neck, the Bowl.
- Top row. Terrific.
- Well, I was alone.
I was hoping to see
some movie stars today.
Hey. I can't eat this soup.
- Why not?
MAN: Ain't got no spoon.
Oh, okay, bub. Catch.
You gotta treat your customers rough
these days, they might come back.
So you wanna see movie stars?
Me, I can't get into the Hollywood Canteen.
You, you got on your ticket, your uniform.
And they got good food too.
- Where is the Canteen?
- Cut through to Sunset Boulevard.
- You can't miss it.
- Thanks, I will.
MAN 1: Hey, don't forget me.
MAN 2: Sign mine, I wanna pin it up.
MAN 3: Hey, quit shoving,
give the Marines a break.
[BIG BAND PLAYING]
MAN 4:
Do you think that's Ann Sheridan?
MAN 5: Four bits it's Betty Grable.
- I hope it's Joan Leslie.
Air! Hey, fellas, I've gotta have air.
Oh, fella,
a man's gotta have some oxygen.
Even just a little teensy-weensy bit.
- Who gets this?
MAN 6: That's mine.
Gee, I thought you were Ann Sheridan.
[MEN LAUGHING]
With my new haircut and all?
You know, I'm mistaken for Ann Sheridan
everywhere I go.
With that mouth? I mean, face?
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, Mr. Brown.
That's all right, son.
You can say "mouth" if you want to.
A friend in the Army wrote me
that every time he saw...
...an invasion barge opening,
he thought of me.
Well, gee, thanks, Mr. Brown.
Come on, fellas, let's let him
finish his doughnut there. So long.
Thanks.
- First time in the place, son?
- Yes, sir.
- Is it true that all the big stars come here?
- I'll say it's true.
Humphrey Bogart waits on tables.
Hedy Lamarr makes sandwiches.
Errol Flynn has his own specialty:
He sweeps out the place.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[BIG BAND PLAYING]
- Say, isn't that...?
- It's Jimmy Dorsey and his band.
It slipped.
- Does Jimmy Dorsey play here every night?
- Or some other name band.
This place is just one great big jukebox.
- Can I have a seat up close?
- Oh, sure, just help yourself.
- Well, how much is it, Mr. Brown?
- Oh, it's free.
If you see what you want,
just reach for it.
- That is, the food.
- Oh, yes, sir.
I'll have my favorite guide
show you the place.
- Oh, Janie.
JANE: Yes, Joe?
- Will you show this gentleman the ropes?
- You bet I will.
Are you more interested in the ropes
or the food?
SLIM: Excuse me for gulping.
- Hungry?
- How'd you know?
- You look like the hungry type, come on.
Say, aren't you Jane Wyman, the actress?
Well, let's just say
I'm Jane Wyman period, huh? Come on.
- Do you work here too?
- Evenings.
My gosh, I thought movie actresses
got paid enough not to have to work nights.
Barbara, here's a hungry soldier.
Feed him plenty.
- Okay.
- You're Barbara Stanwyck.
How can you tell?
Because you look like you look,
only more so than I thought.
Well, I'm sorry
I'm such a disappointment.
Disappointment?
My gosh, I was more crazy about you
than anybody until...
What came between us?
- Joan Leslie.
- Oh, darn.
Well, maybe it's for the best.
Oh, can I tell my husband
it's all over between us?
I think so.
Think you can handle
a turkey sandwich, Slim?
- That would be wonderful.
- Chocolate cake?
- How did you know my name was Slim?
- Well, I'll tell you.
We got word from the South Pacific that
Slim was coming and to treat him right.
Boy, imagine me standing right here
and talking to Barbara Stanwyck.
I thought you were hungry, Slim?
I am, ma'am, but my stomach
sort of jumped up into my heart.
JIMMY:
And now, your favorites, Jack and Jane...
...to do a little number
with our band.
[SINGING]
What are you doing the rest of your life?
Have you any plans?
I thought if you hadn't anything set
Maybe we'd get together
I got nobody, nobody's got me
My heart's fancy free
So if you're not busy the rest of your life
Then I'll keep you company
What are you doing the rest of your life?
Have you any plans?
Nothing but time on my hands
I thought if you hadn't anything set
Maybe we'd get together
I got nobody
I happen to be
Footloose and fancy-free
So if you're not busy
The rest of your life
Then I'll keep you company
I got nobody
Nobody's got me
That means we're fancy-free
Gee
- Looks like I'll be busy
- Looks like I'll be busy
- The rest of my life
- The rest of my life
- And I'll keep you company
- And I'll keep you company
- Nice work, Jackie, you were swell.
- Thanks, thank you, John.
MAN:
Okay, boy, you're on.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Excuse me, Jane. Bye.
Use a cup of coffee, Slim?
[COUGHING]
- What's the matter, go down wrong?
- It was seeing you up close that did it.
I've had unkind remarks made about my puss
but I never made anybody choke before.
You've got a good face, Mr. Carson.
It's just that I've seen you in pictures.
When you came at me, I choked.
- Am I that bad?
- Oh, you're great.
But you know how it is,
you see somebody on the screen...
...and then you see them in the flesh,
well, it kind of gets you.
- Does it?
- Sure.
Especially when I know you've been
right up close to Joan Leslie.
- It's that way, huh?
- I used to dream about her in New Guinea.
Well, I guess she's been dreamed about
clear around the world.
Will you sit down at my table?
Don't mind if I do, but it's against the rules
for us busboys to sit down very long.
Please. I...
I want to ask you about Joan Leslie.
I feel that she's just like
the girls back home at heart.
You're perfectly right, pal.
She's not married or anything, is she?
No.
I wonder if it's because
she hasn't met a man yet who...
- Well, who feels about her the way...
- The way you do?
Well, yes, sir.
Well, I...
Slim, I wanna wish you
all the luck in the world.
Thank you, sir.
Watch it, fellas. Coming through here.
Let me through.
- Bette, is Joan Leslie on the list tonight?
- I don't think so. Why?
Some young Purple Heart,
fresh from New Guinea...
...just opened up his heart on Joan.
It was very funny or beautiful.
Bette, excuse me, fellas.
Bette, is Joan Leslie coming tonight?
Not that I know of.
The politest guy that ever walked in here
just asked.
- Tall and slim?
- I took him over to Stanwyck for refueling.
Don't get your hopes up.
He's been Leslie-ized.
- Will you stop? I've been Reagan-ized.
- What's cooking?
There's a boy that says he'll take on
all the Japs for one look at Joan Leslie.
Sounds like an easy way
to get a one-man army. I'll go talk to him.
- Jane, let's go and find out if she's coming.
- All right.
- Excuse me, will you?
- Sure.
Any of you fellas want my autograph?
[MEN LAUGHING]
JIMMY:
And now, the Golden Gate Quartet.
[SINGING]
Said the general to the captain:
"Pops, we gonna cause a commotion"
Then one early morn, they up and gone
The general jumped, he jumped at dawn
Said the captain to the private:
"Man, we gonna flannel the channel"
Then one early morn, they up and gone
The general jumped, he jumped at dawn
- Bye-bye
- Bye-bye
- Bye-bye
- Bye-bye
I'll see you in the sky at Versailles
- Drop in
- Drop in
- Drop in
- Dropping in
We'll have a barbeque in Berlin
Said the private to the general:
"Jack, my jeep is ready and steady"
Then one early morn they up and gone
The general jumped, jumped at dawn
The general had a groovy crew
A million lads and I'm telling you
There were white men
Black men on the beam
A real solid all-American team
He had tall men, small men
Fat and lean
The fightin'est crew
That you've ever seen
Every creed and color and every belief
From an Eskimo to an Indian chief
He had a Sergeant Swenson
A Captain Kelly
Corporal Rosen
And a cook, Morelli
Lieutenant Jackson
And a Private Jode
Then the general said,
"Let's hit the road"
We'll jump, two, three, four
Remember, boys, we've gotta win the war
Said the private to the general:
"Jack, my jeep stays ready and steady"
One early morn they up and gone
The general
The general jumped at dawn
MAN: Good evening, Miss Leslie.
- Good evening.
GIRL: Hello, Miss Leslie.
- Hello, Miss Leslie.
I got a call from Bette
to hurry right down.
- She's waiting down the hall for you, Joan.
- Thanks, Andrea.
Bette.
- Oh, hello, Joan.
JOAN: Hello.
Thank you so much for coming.
I hated to ask you to leave your party,
but this is special.
What's up, Bette?
- You know we don't often show favoritism.
- Yes.
But there's a boy who was wounded
in New Guinea...
...who's been shipped home
after two years in the jungle.
His doctor's given him an okay to report
for his transfer next week.
So he won't be here long.
And all he asks of his leave
is a look at you.
Oh, well, that's easy.
I'll give him a good look.
- Good.
- Hi, Joanie, I've fixed everything.
I found an old hat check in my pocket
with the number 77.
I gave it to the guy and made
like everybody had to have a check.
- For what?
- The winning number gets a kiss...
...from sweet Joanie. Get it?
- Gee, I...
- Isn't that setting a bad precedent, Johnny?
Well, this is something special. Go up to the
fingerprint room, I'll take care of the rest.
Are we going to be introduced first?
I hope.
I think that's the least we can do.
Hi, Johnny. I saw you last in Italy.
Hi. Oh, sure.
South of Cassino, I remember!
You like it better here?
Brother, this is heaven.
Hey, by the way, any of you fellas
got a red check with the number 77 on it?
Oh, I have, Mr. Garfield.
Are you sure it's got 77?
Yeah, look.
Well, come with me, you lucky soldier.
I didn't get any red check.
- No, I didn't get one.
- Neither did I.
JOHN: Bette?
- Thank you.
Miss Davis, meet Slim, the one-man army.
- Hello, Slim.
- Holy smoke.
You're Mrs. Skeffington.
I... I mean, Bette Davis, aren't you?
I saw you on the hospital ship before
you were even released on the mainland.
I mean, the picture.
That's one of the advantages
we have over you civilians.
We see the newest pictures
before you do.
We're about to witness a great moment.
Suppose you be chaperone?
SLIM: Isn't meeting you
what I won on this ticket?
- Oh, thank you, Slim.
- Follow me.
You know, it's all too rarely
in these hectic times...
...that a man has his dreams fulfilled.
Are you sure you've got the right man?
Yeah. Hey, by the way,
what's your last name, pal?
- Green.
- Slim Green...
...it affords me the greatest of pleasure
to present tonight's kiss-giver-outer.
The rest is in your hands.
Hello, Slim.
I didn't know you were quite so beautiful.
I don't know what to say.
So I guess you'd better kiss me.
- Good luck.
- Thanks, I'll never forget.
Well, I guess I'd better go.
- What happened to the sandwiches?
- What happened? Look.
If I could only get rid of
my daughters that fast.
Pardon me, Mr. Cantor, are you married?
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
- He's new around here, isn't he?
- Yes.
I ain't never seen you in person.
That is, except on the radio.
MAN 1: How about a song, Eddie?
- Come on, sing a song.
[CHANTING]
We want Cantor! We want Cantor!
I can be had!
We want Cantor! We want Cantor!
All right, gang,
now, what would you like me to do?
And don't say, "The dishes,"
I just did them.
MAN 2: How about that song?
WOMAN: Yeah.
All right, all right.
Before I sing, let me tell you what happened
on our last bond-selling tour.
It seems we got into this little town
where they had a beautiful hotel...
...and the proprietor's name
was Mr. Prackle.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
It is kind of funny, isn't it, huh?
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
Well, it isn't that funny, now, is it?
I'm sorry.
Did you lose your outfit?
What's your name?
Mine's Cantor. Remember?
You know, Eddie Cantor?
[SINGING] We're staying home tonight
Da, da, da, da...
What's the matter, pal?
[WHISPERS]
I just kissed Joan Leslie.
No wonder. Why didn't you tell me?
Make way for a soldier
who's just seen action!
MAN: How about that song, Mr. Cantor?
EDDIE: All right, boys.
- Oh, Nora? Nora Martin?
- Here I am.
- Nora, we're gonna do the baby song.
- Good.
EDDIE:
All right, boys, let's have the house.
I'll just change my clothes
and come back and meet my wife.
- Irwin, sweetheart.
- Sally.
I didn't mean to call you home,
but I just had to tell you.
What is it, honey?
Well, you see, darling,
we are going to be three.
Your mother's coming to live with us?
- Oh, no, no, Irwin.
- No, no, no.
Well, we're going to get something
that looks exactly like you.
Sweetheart.
Now I know.
You're buying a cocker spaniel.
- Oh, no, Irwin, you don't understand.
- No, no?
Well, stop hinting. What is it?
- Well, darling...
- Yes?
We're going to have a baby.
A baby.
You and:
You're gonna be a mother.
- And I'm gonna be a father.
- Yes.
- I'm gonna be a father.
- Oh, Irwin, darling, please sit down.
Oh, are you all right?
Yes.
A baby.
I can't get over it.
[SINGING]
We're having a baby
My baby and me
You'll read it in Winchell
That we're adding a limb
To our family tree
While pushing that carriage
How proud we will be
There's nothing like marriage
Ask your mother and father
And they'll agree
Thanks to you, life is bright
I know it couldn't be brighter
Tell me, will a boy be all right?
She never heard about Ida
Someday he'll be the president
It may be a she
- We're having a baby
- We're having a baby
- My baby and me
- My baby and me
Sit down, darling, don't stand.
Sit down.
Already, I've started
knitting things for him.
- Really?
- Yes, look, darling.
Who you expecting, Superman?
- Mama.
- Papa.
Just think, it's my first one
The next one's on me
- We're having a baby
- We're having a baby
- My baby and me
- My baby and me
Thank you. Thank you, boys and girls.
Thank you very much.
- Nora, you were lovely in that number.
- Thank you.
You know, my conscience bothered me
kissing Nora with you good-looking fellas...
Come here, soldier! You. Yes, come on up.
Make him get up.
Come on up! Come on.
Give him a nice kiss, Nora.
Go on, give him a kiss, Nora, that's it.
Yeah, and now you, sailor.
Come on up, sailor.
Yeah, look at him, look at him go.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[HORN HONKS]
Hey!
Where have you been?
What's got into you?
I kissed Joan Leslie.
- What?
- I kissed Joan Leslie.
- Where?
- Where you usually kiss people.
- Upstairs in this fingerprinting room...
- Fingerprinting room?
Yeah, John Garfield and Bette Davis
took me up there and I kissed her.
Was Napoleon there too?
What do you mean, Napoleon?
Believe me, I only saw her.
And she just up and kissed you?
No, no, no.
I up and kissed her
and then she kissed me back...
...because I had this little red ticket
with 77 on it.
Slim, you come with me.
- Sit down, will you?
- Wait...
- I'm gonna take you to the hospital.
- Why? I feel great.
Okay, you feel great.
Tell me more about this little red ticket
with a number on it...
...that lets you get to kiss Joan Leslie.
You don't believe me, huh?
Yeah, I believe you. Sure, I believe you.
I'm gonna give you a chance
to prove it too.
MAN:
Good evening, general.
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
Good evening, general.
Good evening, general.
Don't let these three stripes fool you,
Mr. Sakall, I'm just a sergeant.
In Hollywood... In Hollywood Canteen,
everyone is a general.
You are looking for somebody?
I sure am.
I think you mean what I know.
I was in the last war.
I remember a weekend pass...
...pretty girl, a little music...
I'll just settle for somebody to talk to.
Somebody to talk to?
Well, time marches on.
Good evening, general.
Goodbye.
- Mr. Sakall.
- Yes?
May I?
Help yourself.
Goodbye, general.
- Mr. Sakall.
- Yeah?
Do you mind?
Help yourself.
Goodbye, general.
May I?
Help yourself.
ANNOUNCER:
Presenting: The Sons of the Pioneers.
[SINGING]
See them tumbling down
Pledging their love to the ground
Lonely but free I'll be found
Drifting along
With the tumbling tumbleweeds
I'm a rovin' cowboy
Ridin' all day long
Tumbleweeds around me
Sing their lonely song
Nights underneath a prairie moon
I ride alone and sing a tune
See them tumbling down
I really go for that cowboy music.
Me too, it reminds me of Flatbush.
Lonely but free I'll be found
Drifting along
With the tumbling tumbleweeds
Hey, that's Roy Rogers and Trigger.
[YELLS]
Boys and gals, it really is swell
getting a chance to be here...
...at the Hollywood Canteen,
to meet you all in person and say howdy.
This is Trigger's way of saying hello.
Trigger seems to like the ladies in here.
How about throwing them a kiss, Trigger?
Will you give me a kiss? How about me?
Oh, just one? Just give me one kiss.
Come on.
Doggone, he sure kisses juicy.
[SINGING] Wildcat Willy
Lookin' mighty pale
Was standing by the sheriff's side
And when that sheriff said,
"I'm sending you to jail"
Wildcat raised his head and cried
Oh, give me land, lots of land
Under starry skies above
Don't fence me in
Let me ride through the wide
Open country that I love
Don't fence me in
Let me be by myself
In the evenin' breeze
And listen to the murmur
Of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever
But I ask you, please
Don't fence me in
Just turn me loose
Let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the Western skies
On my cayuse
Let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountain rise
I wanna ride to the ridge
Where the West commences
And gaze at the moon
Till I lose my senses
I can't look at hobbles
And I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in
Just turn me loose
Let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the Western skies
On my cayuse
Let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountain rise
I want to ride to the ridge
Where the West commences
And gaze at the moon
Till I lose my senses
I can't look at hobbles
And I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in
I'm the rovin' kind
So if you don't mind
All that I can say is:
"Come on, Trigger
Let's be on our way"
Pal, I want you to shake hands with the
hand that shook hands with Roy Rogers.
- Look.
- Thank you very much, Miss Lupino.
Not at all.
Good evening, sergeant.
First night at the Canteen?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Well, can I show you the ropes?
Miss Lupino, you may show me anything
your lovely heart desires.
IDA:
Shall we sit here?
Thank you.
As a rule, Miss Lupino,
movie stars don't interest me none.
But you, you're different.
Really, sergeant? In what way?
Well, as Frenchie
in my battalion would say:
"You have a certain je ne sais quoi."
French.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
Yes, we adventurers pick up quite a bit
as we travel over the Earth.
I'll bet you're not kidding.
Well, go on, sergeant,
speak to me some more in French.
You adventurers interest me.
Well, there's "l'amour."
"Toujours l'amour," for example.
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
Well, I'm doing my best, sergeant, go on.
Leave us say that we're in
a little French salle prive for deux.
Okay, let's.
We have just consummated our potage.
That means soup.
It is la Nouvelle Anne.
New Year's.
- And it's nuit.
- Yes.
- Below is the bois.
- Charming.
Champagne.
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
[IDA SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
- What language was that?
- French.
French?
[CLATTERS]
Oh, no, you were doing very well.
Now, let's go back
to la Nouvelle Anne, shall we?
No, I feel my malaria coming back.
I better go outside.
Pardonnez-moi... Excuse me.
[BOTH SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
- Look, pal.
- Yes?
Take my advice:
This won't get you no place, I tried it.
- You tried what, sergeant?
- French.
Well, it just happens I was born that way.
- Bye-bye, Irene.
- Bye.
How you doing?
It doesn't look like Miss Leslie's here.
You think you got troubles.
Aren't you the boy
who won the kiss last night?
- Uh-huh.
- And you're back for more?
Gosh, just looking at her
would make me happy.
WOMAN:
Wow!
Oh, Irene, do you think
dancing will ever come back?
My feet feel like fire bricks.
Well, who's little who are you?
Oh, this is Patty Andrews.
- Hello, I thought you looked familiar.
- Well, I generally am.
But a 500-ton Marine
took it out of me, dancing.
Aha!
Honey, I'm gonna dance your hips
right out of their sockets.
Oh, please!
I beg your pardon, young man...
...but exactly what did you say you were
going to do with Miss Andrews' sockets?
Dance her out of them, Mr. Greenstreet.
Say, Sydney, doesn't
that constitute mayhem?
Definitely, Peter.
And besides, it would be very gruesome.
Horrible sight.
Now, look, gentlemen,
it's only a figure of speech.
You know, like you'll say,
you'll tear a guy limb from limb.
You wouldn't really
tear a guy limb from limb.
Wouldn't we?
Oh, pardon me, sir...
...would you mind stepping outside
with me for a moment?
No, no, no, excuse me, gentlemen.
I gotta join my outfit.
All I wanted to ask him
is to join me in a cigarette.
- He didn't trust us, Peter.
- No.
And we are such gentle people.
Are we?
Hey, Sydney...
[SINGING] I'm gettin' corns for my country
At the Hollywood Canteen
The hardest working junior hostess
You've ever seen
I'm doin' my bit down here
For Uncle Sam
I'm a patriotic jitterbug
Yeah, yeah, that's what I am
I'm gettin' corns for my country
You should see the pounds fly
I'm gettin' down the waistline
And I don't even try
I don't need a DuBarry
Or a Westmore course
'Cause my weight's been taken over
By the Army Air Force
We're not petite as sweet Joan Leslie
But then we never mind
When those GIs knock us out
We're glad that we're the healthy kind
The way those cowboys from the prairie
Expect us to sashay
I think I'd rather two-step
With their horses any day
We're gettin' corns for our country
Though the goin' is tough
When we think we can't go on
We find we can't get enough
So if you hear of a soldier
Sailor or Marine
Tell 'em to look us up
At the Hollywood Canteen
I used to be aesthetic, they say
Oh, yes, I was, really, I was
I loved the drama, art and the ballet
But the Theater Guild
Came over and said:
"Forget about Pavlova
Learn to cut a rug"
So now we're jitterbugs
I'm gettin' corns for my country
Though I'm really all in
In a week from now we'll be here
With our usual vim
So if you hail from the Bronx
Des Moines or Aberdeen
Come down and ask for us
At the Hollywood Canteen
MAN 1: Sing us a cowboy song.
MAN 2: "Don't Fence Me In."
PATTI:
Well, all right.
[WHISTLES]
[SINGING] Oh, give me land, lots of land
Under starry skies
Don't fence me in
Let me ride through the wide
Country that I love
Don't fence me in
Let me be by myself
In the evening breeze
And listen to the murmur
Of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever
But I ask you, please
Don't fence me in
Just turn me loose
Let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the Western skies
Doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
On my cayuse
Let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise
I want to ride to the ridge
Where the West commences
And gaze at the moon
Till I lose my senses
And I can't look at hobbles
And I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in
No
Papa, don't you fence me in
Look, Chef Milani,
what I need now is some advice...
...from some of these romantic guys
you got autographs of.
Well, is Paul Henreid and Donald Woods.
In the kitchen, see? They washing dishes.
Gentlemen.
You know, some guys are born
with something inside them...
...that makes women melt.
You guys got it.
You ever see a woman melt, Paul?
Sure.
Why, every time Paul looks my way,
my blood pressure climbs higher and higher.
You see, Mr. Henreid? You got it.
Oh, that's because Mary Gordon stirs
something subconsciously primeval in me.
Go on with you now,
you'll have me blushing.
Subconsciously prime... What?
"Eval," primeval.
- Primeval?
- Certainly.
Haven't you heard, sergeant,
that we were all animals once?
Yeah.
And in some ways
we never got over it.
That's right.
Now, I think there is still some animal
in every man and woman.
You don't say?
How does a man horse
greet a female horse?
- They rub noses?
- That's right, they rub noses.
What does a man lion do if he sees
a woman lion come into his jungle?
- They rub noses.
- That's right, sergeant, they rub noses.
And what do we do?
We are frustrated, we don't rub noses.
And do you know why, sergeant?
Because we are civilized.
We don't exercise our instincts anymore.
That's right.
More exercise is what we need.
When woman meets man today,
what does she do?
- She don't rub noses.
- No.
But out of her subconscious
primeval background...
Ain't words wonderful?
...it doesn't matter whether the
man is handsome or dances well...
...she knows he's her man
when she sees him.
Because she's still got her animal instinct
way down deep inside her.
Fascinating.
Sergeant, since you're wearing
a South Pacific ribbon there...
...you might inject a little
color of the tropics into your line too.
Like what?
Oh, something like:
"In the far stretches
of the South Pacific...
...beneath the gleam of the tropical moon,
I dreamed of this moment."
Gentlemen,
I'm about to put your theory to work.
And may I say, furthermore,
that you have my undying gratuity.
I hope he won't be caught
with his instincts down.
Subconsciously primeval.
- Miss Alexis Smith.
- Hello.
What happens when a man horse
meets a woman horse?
I haven't the vaguest idea.
Then what happens when a man lion
sees a woman lion come into his jungle?
Well, I don't know. Does he roar?
No, he rubs noses, Miss Smith.
Sergeant, are you sure
you're feeling all right?
I feel wonderful.
But what do we do?
We don't rub noses.
We are frustrated.
Well, aren't you glad we don't?
No.
Because we don't exercise
our instincts enough.
Because way down deep inside,
we got something primeval.
And, Miss Smith,
when woman meets man today...
[MEN LAUGHING]
Tell us more, sarge.
Yeah, what happens
when man meets woman?
Go on, you muzzlers, hit the road.
I got a patent on this.
JIMMY:
We got Dennis Morgan here...
...to sing a song about you, you and you.
Dennis, how about the Yank number?
Sure, Jimmy. Excuse me, fellas,
I gotta give out with a song.
Speaking of what makes a nation
as great as the U.S.A...
...I have made an observation,
and I'm qualified to say:
[SINGING] You can always tell a Yank
By the way they call him Hank
By the way he talks and the way he thinks
And the way he likes to buy you drinks
You can always tell a Yank
You can always tell a Yank
By the way he hates a crank
By the way he shows that he's not afraid
To get up and call a spade a spade
You can always tell a Yank
He's the kind of guy
Wants a Yankee Doodle deal
Wants his apple pie
And his constitution
He's the kind of guy
With a lot of sock appeal
And he hates to heil a heel
You can always tell a Yank
By the way he drives a tank
To defend a thing called democracy
And save the world from tyranny
You can always tell a Yank
You can always tell a Yank
By the way his glass will clank
With a guy from Rome and a guy from Pinsk
And a guy from Shanghai, Wales and Minsk
You can always tell a Yank
You can always tell a Yank
By his friends on either flank
There's a guy called Slim, a boy named John
A kid called Chang and his friend Ivan
You can always tell a Yank
He's the kind of guy
Wants a Yankee Doodle deal
Wants his apple pie
And his constitution
He's the kind of guy
With a lot of sock appeal
- And he hates to heil
- A heel, yeah
You can always tell a Yank
By the way he eats a frank
By the way he fights for the Bill of Rights
And the right to love a girl in tights
You can always tell a Yank
CHORUS: You can always tell a Yank
By the way they call him Hank
By the way he talks and the way he thinks
And the way he likes to buy you drinks
You can always tell a Yank
You can always tell a Yank
By the way he hates a crank
By the way he shows that he's not afraid
To get up and call a spade a spade
You can always tell a Yank
He's the kind of guy
CHORUS:
Wants a Yankee Doodle deal
Wants his apple pie
And his constitution
He's the kind of guy
With a lot of sock appeal
And he hates to heil a heel
You can always tell a Yank
By the way he drives a tank
Forward, march!
To defend a thing called democracy
And save the world from tyranny
You can always tell a Yank
To get back to things primeval,
Miss Smith...
[MEN LAUGHING]
Make way for a guy with a theory.
MAN: Thank you very much for the dance.
- Thank you.
In the far stretches of the South Pacific,
beneath the gleam of a tropical moon...
...I dreamt of this moment.
Or am I being too bold?
If you'll excuse me, I hate goodbyes.
Look, I'm the white sheep of my family.
Let's go someplace where we can talk?
We hostesses are not permitted to leave
with the servicemen.
And besides,
I have to be at the studio quite early.
My life to this moment
has been a total loss...
...because I ain't seen
your beautiful puss in pictures.
Well, I work at the studios.
I wouldn't turn down an invitation
to come to watch you work tomorrow.
Oh, I'm so sorry, but you see,
I give so much of myself to my art...
...there'd be so little left for you.
A crumb would be a banquet.
And besides, I'll be all tied up
with Humphrey Bogart all day.
We're testing.
You passed my test
the moment I laid my orbs on you.
Would you settle for a dance?
Would a starving man
settle for a beefsteak?
I like these novelty bands
that play music the way it was written.
Now, isn't there something about me that
makes me stand out from these other guys?
Well, yes, now that you mention it.
Well, what is it?
Gee, I don't know,
all a girl's got to go by is her instinct.
That's it, you got it!
You're subconsciously primeval!
[MEN LAUGHING]
NOLAN:
Luscious!
Good night, sergeant.
I have to save myself for my art,
you know.
I have to report in San Francisco Monday,
I'd certainly like another...
- ...look at Miss Leslie before I go.
- I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
SLIM: What's the matter, pal?
- I'm off women for the duration.
Isn't that an unfortunate attitude to have
at the Hollywood Canteen?
Happens to be the way I feel, ma'am.
Look, this is the last dance tonight.
Shall we have it together?
Okay.
What's the kitten's name?
We've tried very hard
to find a name for it.
Have you any suggestions?
How about...
Yes?
Anybody ever tell you
you look like Joan Crawford?
Well, yes, my husband has.
- You dance good, light as a feather.
- Thank you.
- You're a dead-ringer for Joan Crawford.
- Am I really?
Don't look now, but I am Joan Crawford.
You're...
- Joan Craw...?
- Yes.
Oh, somebody get some water.
Quick, he's fainted.
Joan Crawford.
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
You know, Slim...
...when we was mildewing in the jungle,
I kind of resented these canteens...
...and the guys who were lucky enough
to be here instead of there.
I won't resent it no more.
And I used to figure that Hollywood
was a place with all false fronts.
Nothing false about them
we seen tonight.
Gorgeous.
Yeah, she certainly is.
You know, I don't wanna get sloppy
about this but it kind of got me.
All them famous people being
friendly and democratic.
Democratic.
Democracy.
That's what it means, Slim.
Everybody equal, like tonight.
All them big shots
listening to little shots like me...
...and being friendly.
- Slim.
- What's the matter?
- I danced tonight!
- Quiet!
No, look!
I don't need my cane no more!
Hey, hey, look! Listen, you guys!
[MEN GROANING]
Look, I got rid of my extra leg!
Look, will you!
[SINGING] I left my cane
At the Hollywood Canteen
I left my...
MAN 1: Quiet.
MAN 2: Go to sleep.
NOLAN: I didn't even miss it!
MAN 3: Quiet.
That's wonderful, sarge, wonderful.
It was that dame
with the instinct that did it.
Something subconsciously primeval
passed on betwixt us and I forgot my cane.
Why didn't you tell me, Slim?
I was thinking about something else,
I guess. I didn't notice.
There's nothing like a leg of your own
to stand on.
Oh, that bread.
I could hire out
just to stand here and drool.
SLIM:
It sure smells good.
Good old American flowers.
- They sure top them jungle orchids.
- I'll say.
May I serve you?
No, ma'am, I'm just smelling.
Miss, have you got any of them flowers
what eats flies?
WOMAN: You think that'd be appropriate
to send to your girlfriend?
I don't send my girlfriends no flowers.
I always say a good smack
on the kisser pays off more.
Sell my pal a daisy. He wants
to know whether he and his dream girl...
- ...was meant for each other.
- One on the house.
- Thanks a lot. Oh, fine.
- See?
NOLAN: Say, look,
that sign says passion fruit.
I didn't know it came that way.
What do you get for passion fruit?
- As fruit or as juice?
- You mean, you can take it like juice?
Well, most people do. A dollar a bottle.
Slim, give me one of my dollars,
this I gotta try.
NOLAN:
Hey, look, your girlfriend.
SLIM:
Miss Leslie?
Oh, hello, are you shopping too?
No, ma'am, we're just looking.
You remember me?
Well, of course I do, you're Slim.
- I kissed you at the Canteen.
- I know.
I... I... I just want you to know that kiss,
it didn't put you under any obligations.
Oh, I understand.
But it sure was beautiful while it lasted.
- I'm glad you liked it.
- I sure did.
Miss Leslie,
I'd like you to meet Sergeant Nolan.
- How do you do, sergeant?
- Greetings.
Do you want me
to carry your vegetables to the car?
No, thanks, they're not very heavy.
Well, it... It's wonderful seeing you again.
Thanks,
it's nice seeing you again too, Slim.
- Well, goodbye.
- Bye.
Oh, you Romeo.
You chicken-hearted Bo Peep.
"It was so beautiful while it lasted."
Why didn't you get in there and pitch?
She said it was nice seeing me again.
Give me my bottle of passion-fruit juice.
Here.
Johnny!
Number 999,822
just came through the door.
- Won't be long now. I gotta go back.
- Okay.
All right, sit down, everybody, sit down.
Sit down, that's the idea.
Now, you fellows in the back,
sit down, will you, please? Thanks.
You know, this is the biggest night
in the history of the Canteen so far.
Around here we don't celebrate
anniversaries in terms of months or years...
...but in terms of how many of you
we've welcomed into this place.
Alan Hale just told me a number,
999,822.
That means the millionth soldier
or sailor or Marine...
...is gonna walk through that entrance
and we wanna celebrate it.
While we're waiting, I'd like to give a quick
run-through of how this place was born.
Bette Davis and the rest of us
thought it'd be a good idea...
...if we found a place where we could say,
"Welcome to Hollywood," and, "Thanks."
This is the place we found.
At first, it looked like a
kind of an abandoned dump...
...so we sent a circular around
to all the movie folks...
...and asked them to pitch in and help.
All the movie unions in town said,
"Okay, we're with you 100 percent."
First came the janitors...
...then came the carpenters,
on Sundays and holidays...
...and then the electrician fixed the wiring.
Meanwhile, the set designers laid out
blueprints and plans.
Then the painters came with their buckets
and brushes and made the place like new.
And the studio artists
painted the murals you see.
The signs came from the sign painters.
The trucking companies sent us trucks, and
folks chipped in on chairs and furniture.
The musicians' union started
lining up the music.
The planning committee had to keep
way ahead.
Actresses, gatemen, cameramen,
stenographers, directors...
...the whole motion-picture industry
pitched in to help.
The girls from the studios
volunteered to be junior hostesses.
They're not only actresses and secretaries
and script girls, they're grand kids.
I can't finish this story
without bringing to the mike...
...the lady who worked harder than anybody
to bring this Canteen into being.
Our first president and still our president.
Get Bette Davis.
- Front and center.
- I have to go.
What? What is it?
Did the millionth man come?
- This is all for you.
- Well, what about?
Come on and say thanks.
I don't know what Johnny could have said
to bring forth this very warm greeting...
...but whatever it was,
I'm perfectly sure I don't deserve it.
- Tonight is a big night here.
- I've already said that.
Have you?
What number's coming through?
What number is it, Alan?
Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand,
nine hundred and eighty-nine.
MAN: Nine hundred and ninety-nine
thousand, nine hundred and eighty-nine.
JOHN: Will you make an aisle, fellas?
Just make an aisle so he can get through.
That's right,
busboys, will you give us a hand?
That's the idea.
I see the millionth man, a sailor.
But these two babes from Lockheed said
they'd be at the Palladium hot or cold.
I know, Joe, but...
Come on, Weenie.
All right, so they don't show up,
we can come back.
What do you got to lose?
Are you sure my chick's good-looking?
Redheaded.
Okay, the Palladium it is.
Like you say, what have we got to lose?
You'll be very sorry.
And you'll be very happy.
Allow me to be the first to congratulate
you, soldier, and just step this way.
He's the millionth man.
Folks, the millionth man!
[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]
It's Slim.
- Johnny, you arranged this.
- I swear it's on the level.
Girls, he's all yours.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- I've kissed you before.
- That's right.
You didn't know
you were somebody special, did you?
No, ma'am. Am I?
Yes, you're the millionth man
to enter the Hollywood Canteen.
Gee, that's... That's a lot of men.
It is, and that's why we wanted
to do something about it.
So we decided to let the man
who was actually number 1 million...
...celebrate for all the rest,
as an expression of our gratitude...
...to the men who have already come
to the Canteen.
And to those we hope will continue
to come until the war is over.
The studios and the merchants
of Hollywood have contributed gifts...
...as a symbol of their appreciation.
And as the official representative
of our first million men...
...Corporal Green, they're all for you.
There's a hotel suite reserved for you...
...there's a car waiting
at the back door for you...
...there's an evening
at any nightclub in town...
...and every studio
has cordially invited you to visit them.
And last,
but I don't think least...
...you may choose any actress in town
as your date for the weekend.
[MEN WHISTLING AND CHEERING]
Golly.
The millionth man's first words were,
"Golly."
Did you mean I could have a date
with Joan Leslie?
BETTE:
What do you say, Joan?
I'm flattered and honored
to be chosen, Slim.
I'll try to show you a good time.
I... Golly.
I... I... I can't believe it all.
We'll have your gifts
sent over to the hotel, Slim.
I have a buddy out here.
Could he bunk in with me?
- Of course, what's his name?
- Sergeant Nolan. He's out here someplace.
Would the corporal's buddy
please come up to the stage?
Me!
[BAND PLAYING]
- That's nice going, fella.
- Thank you.
- Congratulations, Slim.
- Thanks.
Gee, all these congratulations,
it's just like a wedding.
Just like a wedding.
How'd you do in your test
with Humphrey Bogart, beautiful?
Oh, they're crazy about me.
Mr. Bogart said he never got so much give
from anybody.
What's "give"?
Well, it's how you look at someone...
...when somebody says something
to somebody about something.
I know what you mean.
You got more give than I ever got.
- You're gonna be a star?
- Oh, I guess so.
They want me for a seven-year contract.
I'm only going to give them five.
- They're very upset.
- I know how they feel.
Wanting seven and only getting five.
I know just how they feel.
Joanie, how about
singing a chorus with the band?
- All right, Jimmy. Do you mind?
- I'd love it.
[SINGING]
Good night, sweet dreams
Tomorrow's another day
Till then, sweet dreams, sweetheart
Good night, sleep tight
I'll see you along the way
In dreams, sweet dreams, sweetheart
May angels up above
Watch over you
And keep you safe, my love
Until the dawn breaks through
Good night, sweet dreams
Tomorrow's another day
Good night, sweet dreams.
Sweetheart
- Good night
- Good night
- Sweet dreams
- Sweet dreams
Tomorrow's another day
Till then, sweet dreams, sweetheart
Good night
Sleep tight
I'll see you along the way
In dreams, sweet dreams, sweetheart
CHORUS:
May angels up above
Watch over you
And keep you safe, my love
Until the dawn breaks through
Gosh, when you sang right at me,
it made my knees weak.
Good night, sweet dreams
Tomorrow's another day
You gonna sing again tonight?
No, I'm your girl
for the rest of the evening.
I thought maybe you'd like to go on
to the Mocambo from here.
- Let's duck out the back way, shall we?
- Let's.
Here they come, let them have it.
Just like a wedding.
Are you the millionth man?
- Yes, sir.
- The keys to your car.
Compliments of
Hollywood Motor Car dealers.
- You mean, I get to drive this all weekend?
- Yes, sir.
Isn't this wonderful?
I'll say it is. Everything's wonderful.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
- Are we going right?
- Mm-hm.
Just head for the Sunset Strip,
but watch out for the boulevard stops.
Yes, ma'am.
- "Yes, Joan."
- Yes, Joan.
When I was watching you in New Guinea
in the rain, I never knew...
[HORN HONKS]
[TIRES SCREECH]
If you wanna look at me,
save it for later, will you?
All right.
Rice. Call the photographers.
- Hello, Joan.
- Hello, Eleanor.
May I present Corporal Green?
We met at the Canteen,
you're one of the girls I got kissed by.
Mm-hm.
I was on the first shift tonight.
- And this is Helmut Dantine, Slim.
- How do you do?
SLIM: How are you?
- Eleanor told me about you.
- Would that be rice in your hair?
- Joan, is this what it looks like?
- It's rice, Johnny threw...
- Well, congratulations.
MAN:
Mr. Dantine's car.
If they keep on with those flashlights,
I won't be able to see you.
- Shall we go on home instead?
- Let's.
- Miss Leslie, is the rice on the level?
- What do you think?
PHOTOGRAPHER:
I guess it is.
This is where I live.
Oh, the folks are at the movies.
- How can you tell?
- We have a signal.
When that light's on,
that's where they are.
I don't think they'd like it...
...if they came home and found just us
in the house.
Well, couldn't we just
sort of stand out here and talk?
Maybe we could talk better out in back.
There's a place to sit down there. Okay?
Oh, swell.
You'd better hold my hand
so you won't stumble.
[DOG BARKING]
- That dog sounds like he has asthma.
- He's mine, and he hasn't.
[CLATTERING]
JOAN: Oh, I was just going to warn you
about that garbage can.
Was it empty, I hope?
It feels like I got some coffee grounds
in my pants.
Oh, I'm sorry, Slim.
- Quiet, Wooly.
- What'd you say?
Oh, I was just talking to my dog.
- Nice Wooly. Nice dog.
- Good boy.
This is my friend Slim.
- Oh, Wooly, get away.
- Nice boy.
Here... Here's a stick, I'll get it.
Come on, Wooly, come on.
Go get it.
You all right?
I don't usually go around
falling over things like this.
Oh, that's all right, you couldn't help it.
You'll feel safer when we sit down.
Oh, Slim.
Darn it, my sister put out the croquet set.
Are you hurt?
Maybe I'd better crawl to the swing.
- Guess I'm just not the romantic type.
- I think you are.
I wish I was, with you.
This is wonderful.
Do you sit here often with fellas?
Oh, not very often. Why?
Oh, I just wondered.
I guess I'm jealous of every guy
that ever sat anyplace with you.
Oh, don't think of things like that.
You're my date.
Let's pretend that we've gone together
for a long time.
- Well, maybe if I sat a little closer?
- Mm-hm.
What were we talking about?
About pretending we'd gone
together a long time.
- We have, if dreaming counts.
- Oh, it does, it counts a lot.
I dreamed of you after you kissed me.
You dreamed of me? Honest?
Honest. Shouldn't I have?
Oh, of course you should.
Why, I mean...
Well, I think it's wonderful that
you'd take the time to dream of me.
What with you and everything.
Dreams don't take much time.
Sometimes they're fun.
I know.
You know, I used to dream about you
in New Guinea.
I was having a wonderful dream about
you once when the Japs came over.
Oh, what an awful way
to put an end to a dream.
It didn't end there, it just started.
It's going on right now.
You're nice, Slim. I like being with you.
Remember what you said about pretending
we'd gone together a long time?
Mm-hm.
Well, if we had, I wouldn't have been
sitting way over there where I was.
I'd be sitting right here.
Just like this?
Not exactly, I'd...
I'd have my arm around you too,
for instance.
All right, let's just sit that way,
for instance.
Wow.
What's the matter?
I can't believe it's me sitting here
with my arm around you.
[HUMMING]
Hear the mail plane?
That isn't the mail plane,
it's my heart beating.
Oh.
[CAR APPROACHING]
It's my folks.
I wouldn't want them to meet me
with coffee grounds on my pants.
You go out the back way, then, come on.
I'm... I'm sorry, Slim.
So am I.
Gee, I wanted tonight
to be different than this.
Me too.
[FOOTSTEPS]
Aren't you going to kiss me good night?
That makes up for everything.
Good night, Slim.
Good night.
- Good morning, gentlemen.
WOMAN: May we come in?
Usually a man waiter does this, but they're
in defense factories or fighting someplace.
I always say a woman's place
is in the hotel room.
Are you really married to Joan Leslie?
Holy smoke!
This is awful, it...
It isn't fair to her. She won't like this.
This is terrible.
Oh, I'm sorry, ladies.
You'd better get out of here.
Slim.
- You're gonna ask her to marry you.
- What do you mean? I wouldn't dare.
What have you got to lose?
Go on, ask her.
All right, all right,
so you don't have to ask her to marry you.
Grapefruit?
Why, Mr. Warner sent word down
that the whole studio is yours.
He even sent our prettiest
messenger girl to guide you.
NOLAN: What? You said you were...
Messenger girl.
Huh.
You all through being tied up
with Humphrey Bogart, sweetie?
I was told to take you to Stage 4 first.
Congratulations, corporal,
and a hearty welcome to the studio.
Thank you.
I guess we're roosters
of another feather today, eh, officer?
I guess so.
Is this the stage where you're testing
with Humphrey Bogart, sweetie?
Joan Leslie and Zachary Scott
are doing a scene.
Follow me.
MAN:
Quiet, everybody.
All right, action.
ZACHARY:
You knew I was strapped.
JOAN: Obviously, else why would I
wire you the money?
ZACHARY: Exactly, and now you know why
I sent it back, I'm no paid escort.
- You're just too proud.
- Do you think I'd humiliate you?
I'd rather be humiliated
than disappointed.
ZACHARY: Then this may be news to you,
I've chucked architecture.
Because after six years
of work and study...
...it still won't pay my train fare
to visit the girl I love.
JOAN:
Then why don't you kiss me?
Why don't you prove it?
MAN: Cut. Print.
- All right?
MAN:
Fine. Relax, kids.
Hello, Slim, I didn't know you were there.
- You know Zachary?
- Hello.
Hello.
Excuse me.
Slim?
Do you like that guy very much?
You mean Zachary? Of course I do.
Oh, shame on you.
Hello, sergeant, it's nice to see you again.
- Goes double, Miss Leslie.
- Hello.
- Hello, Miss Leslie.
- Come on, Slim.
- Did you see the papers?
- That's why I'm here.
Sit down, Slim.
By the way, my family wants to meet you.
Dinner tonight at 7?
Fine.
JOAN:
Scared?
- Well...
- Oh, you don't have to be.
Now that my pal is in good hands,
you may lead me astray individually...
...if your art hasn't taken too much
out of you.
What would you like to see next?
Beautiful women.
Follow me.
This way to the beautiful women.
"Positively no visitors." In the Army,
you can get shot for going by that.
Maybe you're somebody special.
How nice.
Follow me.
Sergeant?
All my life, I dreamed of such a moment.
And I didn't even know where I was at.
PRINZ: All right, call everybody on the set.
- Okay, LeRoy.
- Mr. Prinz?
- Yeah?
- This is the millionth man's friend.
- Wanna take a look at what's going on?
- You bet your sweet life.
- Fine, just take this seat right here.
That's very kind of you, Mr. Prinz.
PRINZ: Everybody all ready?
MAN 1: All set.
- All set, sarge?
- Yes, sir.
Okay. Let's look, boys.
MAN 2: Take it away, boys.
MAN 3: Take it up.
Hey! Hey, whoa!
Wait a minute.
Hey, let me out of this thing.
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
That's why I didn't get in the Air Force.
I get airsick.
[NOLAN SCREAMS]
Whoa. Great Caesar's gho...
Ground, come to me.
Hey, this is okay, it's very interesting.
- You like it, huh?
- Yeah.
How would you like to look
through the finder?
- Finder?
- Sure. Here, go on, take a look.
NOLAN: Who's that?
- That's Joan McCracken.
Star from Oklahoma!
- You're just in time for a full rehearsal.
NOLAN: That, Mr. Prinz, I gotta see.
MAN 4:
Music!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's very interesting.
Humpf.
Hello, I'm Slim.
Well, I'm Joan's sister, Betty.
Won't you come in?
Slim, this is Mother and Dad.
- How do you do?
- We're glad to see you.
Yes, I've looked forward to meeting you.
I guess you didn't like
what was in the papers, sir.
Joan explained.
Sit down?
You know the old saying,
"Say it with flowers."
What does that mean?
Oh, you know,
if you love somebody, you...
I bet you wish she'd hurry up.
I'll get her.
- I see you have the Purple Heart there.
- Yes, sir.
I was in the wrong place
when a shell exploded.
You know, son, I think I'm beginning
to understand what Joan sees in you.
Oh, how awful,
you had to face the family without me.
It wasn't half as bad
as I thought it was going to be.
Well, I mean... That is...
Oh, you know what I mean.
Yes, dear, we know what you mean.
Come along, Father, and carve the ham.
We'll give Joan a night off.
Look what I brought you.
Oh, they're lovely, thank you.
- Would you like me to put them in water?
- Would you, please?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
Do you like them?
They like you too. I could tell by their eyes
when I came in.
Think they could tell from my eyes
how crazy I am about you?
You say the darndest things, Slim.
It's gonna take a long time
getting used to you.
I wish we had a long time.
Dear heavenly Father,
we thank thee...
...for all thy blessings on this house
and on our loved ones.
Bless, we pray thee, the guest at our table,
watch over him and protect him.
And we pray thee, O heavenly Father...
...bless all those throughout the world...
...who are suffering
in body, heart, mind and spirit.
Grant them thy infinite benediction...
...of hope and strength and faith
and peace.
Amen.
Thank you. I feel very privileged tonight
to be asked to introduce...
...one of the world's greatest violinists.
He's in town for the Philharmonic.
Mr. Joseph Szigeti.
Thank you, boys and girls.
We are going to play "The Bee"
by Franois Schubert.
Thank you, Mr. Szigeti.
- It's been a happy experience.
- Thank you.
This is more or less of a classical evening
here at the Canteen.
As you know, Mr. Szigeti represents the
finest of the European school of violinists.
We also happen to have
a man here tonight...
...who is one of the greatest,
if not the greatest, American violinist.
[AUDIENCE MEMBERS LAUGHING]
Thank you, Miss Davis.
The nerve to play "The Bee."
See, "The Bee" was written exclusively
for me by Franois Schubert.
BETTE:
Well, do the best you can.
Oh, Jack, Mr. Kaufman has generously
consented to accompany you.
How nice.
Mr. Kaufman, I don't know how well
you know Mr.Szigeti...
...but it just so happens
that he practically stole the...
Oh, Mr. Szigeti, I'd like to introduce myself.
My name is Benny.
- Oh, yes, yes.
- Benny, the violinist.
America's foremost violinist.
Why, I thought you were
a radio comedian.
Oh, I do dabble in radio occasionally,
but music is really my racket.
And incidentally, I want to congratulate
you on the rendition of "The Bee."
- Thank you.
- Which I had intended to play.
Oh, I am sorry about that,
but really if you had only spoken up...
Well, I wouldn't worry about it...
...because I have other numbers
up my sleeve too, brother.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Hm.
But, Mr. Szigeti, I was just thinking,
instead of playing a violin solo...
...it might be a rather good idea
if we played a duet together.
Why, that could be rather amusing.
Is there anything in particular
you would care to suggest?
Oh, I don't care,
you suggest something, anything.
It really makes no difference.
How about:
"The Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso"
by Saint-Sans?
Oh, the "Ca... The Capriccio... Oso."
Yes, I could take the "Introduction"...
...and you do the "Capriccioso."
Oh, I would do the "Capriccio..."?
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, you see...
...that number never seemed
to get anywhere.
I mean, people don't hum it.
How would you like to play...?
I have a suggestion.
How would you like to play,
"Love in Bloomioso"?
- "Bloomioso"?
- Yes.
Well, I don't think
I've ever heard that one.
He's supposed to be
the world's greatest violinist.
Well, then maybe something else.
How about "Souvenir"?
"Souvenir"? Which "Souvenir"?
- The what?
SZIGETI: Which "Souvenir"?
- Which?
SZIGETI: Whose?
- Whose?
- Any "Souvenir." I don't care as long as...
"Souvenir."
We could play "The Souvenir."
Oh, that one I haven't played in years.
I haven't played it since I was that high:
Oh, good, good. Well, shall we tune up?
- Let's tune up.
- All right, sir.
A? Could I have A, please?
No, no, A, A.
Just a second.
Mr. Kaufman, could I have A, please?
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[PIANO PLAYING]
I'll take it now.
[SQUEAKS]
It's an old violin.
[SCRATCHING]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Do let me finish.
Honestly, folks,
can you tell the difference?
[SCRATCHES]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Hi, pal.
- Where's Joan?
- At a radio rehearsal.
She's meeting us here at 9:30
to take us to the train.
If she's taking you to the train,
I got scientific plans. See you later.
Someday we may have
a millionth junior hostess.
Maybe then we girls can have
our choice of you men for a weekend date.
- I think that'd be jolly decent.
WOMAN: Whom would you pick?
Oh, I've already picked him,
but he knows none of us girls...
...can make dates for when we leave,
so he's safe.
I did so want to go up to Hollywoodland
and discuss scientific things with him.
- Where's Hollywoodland?
- Oh, up on top of everything, sergeant.
What of a scientific nature
is there up there?
Well, that all depends
on who's being scientific about what.
Well, I see, yes.
Suppose a fellow had an interest in things
subconsciously primeval...
- ...and he was up there?
- He'd have to take a taxi to get there first.
Suppose he took a taxi?
He wouldn't know where to tell
the taxi driver to go, would he?
What's the poor guy gonna do?
Well, I suppose all he can do,
since it's 9:00...
...is to go to the corner of Sunset and
Cahuenga Boulevard and get in a cab there.
And then what?
Well, if he waits long enough...
...maybe somebody will come along
and snuggle right in beside him...
...and tell the driver where to go.
What if there's nobody nice enough
to do all that?
I think there will be.
Yes, but how can you tell, old girl?
Well, it's merely a matter of instinct,
old boy.
[NOLAN HUMS]
And a little science helps sometimes.
Well, end of my shift, bye. Miss me.
Charming people, quite odd.
I haven't the vaguest idea...
...what they were talking about,
have you?
- No.
- No.
ANNOUNCER:
Fellas, here he is, Carmen Cavallaro.
Thank you very much.
And now, boys and girls,
with your kind permission...
...we would like to play our version
of "Voodoo Moon."
Thank you very much.
And, now, folks,
we have a great big surprise for you.
If you'll kindly move back
and make a great big circle...
...and you gentlemen,
please move the tables out here...
...we'll be very happy to present...
...the world's greatest
Spanish-Gypsy dancers:
Rosario and Antonio.
[ROSARIO SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
- Hey!
- Hey!
- Hey!
- Hey!
Tonight we have
a very distinguished visitor.
Our millionth man,
Corporal Slim Green.
He told me that last night when he
was chosen, he was too startled to speak.
Now he's found his voice
and he'd like to say something.
So, gentlemen, your representative,
Corporal Slim Green.
Fellas, I guess any of you who were here
last night and saw...
...how I was lucky enough to be number
1 million were kind of ashamed of me.
All I said was "Golly."
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
I know I let you down.
That's why I wanted to come back up here
before I shove off tonight.
I happened to be number 1 million...
...but I just represent
every fella who's ever come here.
I might have been a soldier, a flier, a sailor
of the British Commonwealth of Nations...
...or a Chinese air cadet,
here to learn to fly.
I might have been
one of our friends from Russia...
...or one of our own colored boys.
I might have come from
the Philippines across the Pacific...
...or from down under,
from New Zealand or Australia.
Or maybe been a Free Frenchman.
I might have been
one of the boys from South America.
Or from our next-door neighbor Mexico.
Or maybe escaped from Norway
or the Netherlands or Denmark...
...or Greece or Poland or Czechoslovakia
or any of the countries.
I might have been wearing kilts
like a Scotsman...
...but believe me, if I was, you could see
my knees shaking right now.
So I was all of you fellas rolled up into one
when they made this short leave...
...in Hollywood
into some kind of paradise for me.
We've seen people we've dreamed of,
up close.
And we've found them all as real
as they are famous.
They wait on us, they wash our dishes.
Gosh, they come up here every night
to make us laugh or even choke up a little.
But whatever they do,
they make us forget for a while...
...where we've been
or where we're going.
Still, I think we'll remember longest,
that most us arrived here lonely.
But after coming to the Canteen,
we weren't lonely anymore.
So, Miss Davis, when I just said,
"Golly," last night...
...I was feeling as grateful
as all the boys are.
Except that we can't put it into words.
So instead of saying, "Thanks,"
we just say, "Golly," and never forget.
Thank you, Slim.
You've given us something
we'll never forget.
And wherever you go,
our hearts go with you.
Thank you.
Come on, Slim, we'll miss our train.
You and the guys run along.
I'll meet you there, I've got a lift.
Famous last words.
Slim.
I'd like to say goodbye and thanks.
- "Thanks," Miss Carlisle?
- Mm-hm.
For letting us know that the things we do
here are important to you boys, appreciated.
Well, they certainly are, ma'am.
I'm supposed to sing now.
Any request before I go?
Well, Joan and I have got
sort of a theme song.
- "Sweet Dreams, Sweetheart"?
- How'd you know?
I saw your face when she sang it for you.
Good luck.
KITTY [SINGING]:
Good night, sweet dreams
Tomorrow's another day
Till then
Sweet dreams, sweetheart
Good night, sleep tight
I'll see you along the way
In dreams
Sweet dreams, sweetheart
May angels up above
Watch over you
And keep you safe, my love
Until the dawn breaks through
[CONTINUES OVER RADIO]
Good night, sweet dreams
Tomorrow's another day
Good night
Sweet dreams, sweetheart
My darling
Here we are again
Don't you realize the whole thing
was a publicity gag?
So you had a date with Joan Leslie
for a weekend.
So she got her picture in the paper.
Okay, the gag and the weekend's over.
Last call, Slim.
We're the last jeep out of here
and we can't wait any longer.
Okay, I'm coming. Give me 30 seconds.
SLIM [IN VOICE-OVER]:
Darling...
Dear Joan...
...I have to leave now.
If this has all been a publicity stunt,
I don't care.
Because you made me happier
than I ever expect to be again...
...as long as I live.
Goodbye and thanks.
Slim.
KITTY [SINGING]:
May angels up above
Watch over you
And keep you safe, my love
Until the dawn breaks through
Good night, sweet dreams
Tomorrow's another day
Good night...
Next time Miss Leslie comes to the
Canteen, will you give her this, please?
Oh, sure.
Well, goodbye, and God bless you.
Thank you.
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Last call: First section of the Lark.
Last call: First section of the Lark.
Reserved for the military.
No civilian passengers.
- I guess it's time to go, dear.
- I guess it is.
Last call for the Lark.
Reserved for military only.
Leaving on Track 7.
Goodbye, you wonderful package
of animal instinct.
Every time I look
at the Hollywoodland sign, I'll remember.
I'll meet you there after the war,
and we'll unscrew all the bulbs.
All aboard. All military personnel
aboard the train immediately.
Slim, come on.
All aboard.
- Goodbye, Angela.
- Goodbye.
Tallyho.
Come on, pal, she ain't coming.
Climb aboard, men,
you're holding up the Lark.
Come on, men.
[TIRES SCREECH]
- Oh, thank you, captain.
- I hope you find him.
So do I.
[MEN WHISTLING]
MAN:
All aboard.
Joan!
MAN: All aboard!
- Slim!
I ran out of gas, I had to hitch a ride.
I got your note.
Oh, darling, it isn't that way.
Then it's all right
to keep dreaming about you?
- Please, and me too, you.
- Maybe you wondered...
- ...why I never told you I loved you.
- Oh, you didn't have to.
I do.
- Maybe if I get back...?
- Oh, you will, you'll get back.
- Maybe we can sit in our swing again?
- You bet we will.
And I'll put away the croquet set
so you won't fall down.
- Gosh, I wish I could kiss you goodbye.
- So do I.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
You've given us something
we'll never forget.
Wherever you go,
our hearts go with you.