Home Fries (1998)

1
Welcome to Burger-Matic.
Can I take your order?
The usual.
Vanilla milkshake.
Very tall...
...very cold.
$ 1.03. Drive through.
It's me, honey.
Drive through!
$ 1.03.
Honey, I did it, like you wanted.
Made a clean break.
My wife knows about us.
How?
She asked me if I was having an affair
and I said, "Yes."
Did you tell her about this?
$ 1 .03.
Here.
Keep the change.
You're closing up tonight, aren't you?
Let me give you a ride home.
I don't need a ride home.
I need a father for my baby.
Tonight, how about just letting me
give you a ride home?
All you want to do is poke dents
in the top of my baby's head.
Why don't you go home, you old fool?
Back to your wife.
- Someone will see, I tell you.
- Look at this guy!
Goddamn, what a driver!
- Who's doing all that talking?
- I got him!
Sounds like truckers.
Sally, you clean
the shake machine tonight.
There he goes! Don't lose him.
Don't lose him!
I cleaned the shake machine yesterday,
and I've got seniority.
- Who is that?
- And I've got a baby.
What's that have to do with it?
I almost cut my knuckles open
on that stirrer last time.
I was bleeding like a stuck pig.
We're losing him.
What's traumatic...
...is all that hillbilly music
you be listening to.
It's traumatic to him, and to me.
Where'd he go?
Talk to Billy.
Goddamn it, who is that?
- He's at your 3 o'clock.
- I'm on him.
That's enough.
Let's get out of here.
Who is this?
Who's on this channel?
Who is on this channel?
Roy, clean the shake machine.
You're newer and she's pregnant.
I'm lactose intolerant, man.
These headphones are messed up.
It's like a war movie.
I'm not shooting.
I'm not shooting!
Disarm it!
You disarm that.
I'm not doing it!
Disarm it!
Stop!
Disarm it!
It'll put the fear of God in him.
Stop!
Get a shot of the two of us.
I'll probably go
straight to hell for that.
I just couldn't pass it up
with him sitting like that.
What do you got?
His name is Henry Lever.
Works up at the cigarette factory.
I seen his car halfway
in the ditch over there.
Found these pills in the woods.
They're heart pills.
Got his name on them.
I figure he died of a heart attack.
I don't know why
he come out here to have it.
No sign of funny business?
Not that I could see.
Stop wasting that film then.
His wife been contacted?
No, sir.
Why don't you get on over there?
This is Roger in car 6.
I have a heart attack victim
at the Borderline Camp.
I need to notify the next of kin
of a Henry Lever.
Can you verify the address
at 1017 North Maple?
10-4.
You going to need a mortuary vehicle?
I think we can just fit
the body in the front seat.
You get the shell casings?
See y'all next month.
- Take care.
- See you next month.
You know, I think this went
a little too far.
You said we would just scare him.
We did just scare him.
Dead.
Did you get the shell casings?
Dorian! Did you get the casings?
I got the damn shell casings, Angus.
They're in my duffle bag.
We have some loose ends
we might have to deal with.
We got a woman and we got two guys.
Willie and Ray.
Not the people on the radio.
Or was it Roy?
I'm telling you, it's just
run-of-the-mill interference.
It's no big deal.
How big a radius is it?
What else is out there?
There's a sawmill.
There's Ted's Plumbing.
There's a Burger-Matic on 601.
I mean, there's nothing out there.
What?
That'll be $ 6.40, please.
- Ask her about the...
- Nice headphones.
- Are they VHF?
- She can't hear.
Find out if they're VHF.
- We were noticing your headphones.
- My headphones?
These! You know,
they are a real timesaver.
Saves a lot of running around.
I bet you sometimes catch
a little interference on them.
Shoot, you should've heard last night.
- A lot of talking?
- Yes, sir.
You know what?
Don't let any kids put
these toys in their mouths...
...because a baby girl in Texas
choked on one of these balloon racers.
Yes, ma'am.
Rest assured.
Y'all come back now.
Absolutely.
Radio headphones.
Hell, that is funny.
I mean...
...isn't it?
Mrs. Beatrice Lever?
I regret to inform you that we found
the body of your husband.
He's dead.
It looks to have been a heart attack.
Here we go.
You okay?
Heart attack?
Yes, ma'am.
But I always tell him to take his pills.
He always does.
He's very good about remem...
About remembering things.
Mom!
Gentlemen...
...are you members of the family?
Mom, are you all right?
Take it easy. What happened?
Are you all right?
Hello, Mrs. Vaughn.
You shouldn't walk in your condition.
My mama's car broke down.
I would appreciate a ride.
I'm just glad I saw you.
You heading home?
Yes, ma'am.
Do you remember where it is?
It's been a long time,
but I reckon I do.
When's the baby due?
Less than a month.
They still letting you work?
They're short-handed at the restaurant.
I work at the drive-through.
That way, customers can't
see my stomach...
...through the window.
Where's the father?
He's around...
...somewhere.
With his wife.
His wife?
Oh, child!
I didn't know he was married
until after I conceived.
He lied to me.
And he's been lying to her too.
She needs to know all that.
She needs to understand.
Honey...
...don't hold your breath
waiting for understanding.
I'm not going to do any waiting.
Thank you, Sheriff, for your...
...consideration.
Mom?
Can you wash these?
I'd appreciate your getting
that dog out of my kitchen.
He's clean. I just washed him.
So, your cheating stepfather
finally had his coronary?
It was a thing of beauty.
We had the timing down to the second.
It was perfect. I think I have
a head for logistics. Seriously!
- You did it.
- There was no bullets.
Just blanks.
No shell casings.
There was no tracks.
There's no signs of violence whatsoever.
There was no clues.
It was great.
You killed him.
Well, yeah, that's...
...what you wanted, wasn't it?
Angus, I never actually
used the word "kill."
Dorian, did I?
No, ma'am.
But he's dead?
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
He's dead.
No one will have to know.
What?
I mean, there's no real witnesses.
Maybe one.
The girl at Burger-Matic?
She doesn't know anything.
Maybe someone else there does.
Get a job there and we can
figure it out for sure.
I've successfully avoided
working there this long. You do it.
- You look perfect.
- Absolutely not.
- You've got that youthful look.
- I've got calls to make.
Sorry, Mom.
We'll make sure there's no loose ends.
Dorian!
Your hat.
Helmet, Mom. It's a helmet.
Get your helmet off my table.
I got to wear a hairnet and a paper hat?
Nobody over 14 works in a Burger-Matic.
I'm 24 years old.
Settle down!
Hi, Mary.
It's Beatrice.
I know, it's been awhile.
Just thought I'd let...
Henry's dead.
Henry's dead! I don't know!
Thank you, Mrs. Vaughn.
Mama?
I've made a decision.
Henry didn't tell his wife,
so I'm going to tell her.
- You can't go over there today.
- Why not? I'll find a ride.
Bad news at the cigarette factory.
At the cigarette factory?
What happened?
I hate you.
Believe me, I would do this if I could.
It's just you're so much better
at recon than I am.
I'm guessing no one knows anything.
It's just a matter of keeping
our loose ends tied together.
Just go in and mingle with the natives.
Take the pistola.
You think one will be enough?
Maybe I should take
a few hand grenades.
How'd that be?
Could you be more paranoid, please?
It's just in case, all right?
I'd appreciate it.
It's just, this is my first job,
not counting the Army...
...or the Guard, so...
Chill out.
Just go in there...
He won't ask me for a rsum?
It's not that kind of job.
It's the Burger-Matic!
Stand straight,
look him in the eye.
It's all about first impressions.
First impressions, you can do that.
Now go in there. You'll do fine.
Don't let anyone see the gun.
Really? I get the truck tomorrow.
It's not registered.
No one expects you to work today.
Why don't you call someone
to take you home?
I'll be all right, Billy.
You sure?
Let me know if you change your mind.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Sure.
Under "dependents" on this W-4,
think I should put "one" or a "zero"?
Never done the W-4.
My man, he carried a handkerchief
with him wherever he went.
Did somebody...
...die or something?
Come on, sweetie.
It's okay.
Let's suit you up
and get you going on the grill.
Roy here will teach you everything
about sandwich assembly.
Roy. Right.
How you doing?
This is how to make
a Big Buzz Double Cheeseburger.
Bottom bun, bottom beef, bottom cheese.
Middle bun, top beef, top cheese.
Special sauce, 3 onions, 3 pickles...
...some lettuce. Top bun.
Put it in a box, in the chute,
say "Big Buzz Double Cheeseburger."
Tell me about your headphones.
Don't be scratching yourself
while you assemble the product.
Will I eventually get my own
set of headphones?
Got to crawl before you walk.
Learn product assembly...
...then you get headphones.
Put together this cheeseburger.
I don't know. Think I'm ready?
Ever hear anything weird
on these headphones?
Like interference?
Yeah, man! This ain't Radio Shack.
Put this thing together!
Put the pickles on before the onions.
3 pickles, not 4.
This ain't Pickleburger.
Only give them 4 if they ask.
I know it takes time.
You need practice. You got to move.
I mean, how do you make a Whopper?
That's Burger King. Billy hear
you say that, he'll fire you.
Let me try again.
I mean, Roy, what kind of meat
are we using here? This is...
Hi, Mama.
Hi, baby.
Happy birthday, Benny.
Does Benny and his friends
like Buzz Burger-Matic?
I'll go get him.
Ls this an initiation or...
The kids'll dig this. Buzz moves
real fast though, all right?
You have got to run around these kids.
The theory behind Buzz is
he's a supersonic robot...
...that delivers food
at lightning speed.
Ls that the theory?
You've always got to
walk and talk real fast.
Otherwise, the kids won't buy it.
Do I get paid extra for this?
No.
I got a theory about that.
Where do I change, Billy?
There's a rule about
disrobing in the restrooms.
You got a car?
Just find a place, all right?
I appreciate it.
Where you going?
Get your sorry ass out here!
You too.
What?
I want you all to sit down over there!
Hands up!
Stay the hell out of my way!
Happy birthday, little man.
Hi, sweetheart.
Honey, you sure showing good.
What is wrong with you?
I want y'all to know
I ain't with him anymore.
I haven't been with him since
the 14th day of July this year...
...when I slapped a restraining order
on his big, fat, drunk ass.
You don't think I'd tote a gun
to my child's 7th birthday...
8th birthday, fool!
8th birthday, then. Fine.
I ain't letting no judge...
...tell me when I can see my kid.
Shut up, woman!
You're Buzz Burger-Matic.
We didn't do it.
Why are you in the freezer?
You're not a cop?
Get out there!
Bring your hat.
Come here, son.
Look who's here to see you.
Please leave that man alone.
Come on over here.
Look who I brought you.
Suit up, Buzz, and wave to my boy.
Hello there, Benny.
Come on!
You're going to do us a show.
Hey, kids, this here's...
...Buzz Burger-Matic.
Y'all like him, don't you?
Buzz? Save my ass here.
Do something funny.
- Like what?
- Rack your brain.
Move fast.
Buzz Burger-Matic, he moves fast.
Hyperspace!
Come on! Hyperspace, little buddy!
You got a quarter?
Anybody have a quarter?
Just a quarter?
Look at that, little buddy!
Look at that.
Look at that, a brand-new quarter!
- Happy birthday!
- I could've done that!
Kick the mud out his butt!
Come here!
I got a magic trick for you.
How about I make
your freaking head disappear?
- Be careful.
- Hell, no! Kick his ass some more!
What the hell is wrong with you?
I don't think he meant to hurt anybody.
How do you know that?
He's my daddy.
His name is Red...
...just like it says on his hat.
When he's sober, I've seen him
shoo wasps right out of the house.
But when he's drunk, he gets stupid...
...and ornery.
You son of a gun!
You didn't even have any bullets
in that thing, did you?
What do you think I am, a maniac?
I'd have kicked his ass,
but I blacked out.
What am I supposed to do?
There's a guy with a shotgun.
Kids everywhere. What do you expect?
You pull some karate move
on a big, fat, drunk guy?
And you're wearing a clown suit?
Robot suit.
Like we need the publicity.
You couldn't cower
like everybody else?
You press charges?
No. Guy's wife beat me to it.
Good.
What'd you find out?
Nothing much.
"Nothing much" meaning
there's nothing much to find out?
Or "nothing much" meaning
"I just sat around in my robot suit"?
"Nothing much" meaning "Eat me."
There's nothing to find out, Angus.
Nobody knows anything in there.
Are you 100% sure?
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
You're not 100% sure.
I am 100% sure.
This requires extreme precision
on your part.
And you're not being precise.
We have no room for error here.
Shit!
I guess I'll have to get a job there.
- What?
- You get your wish.
You get to stay home
from school tomorrow.
I'll go and clear this whole thing up.
I'll take care of it.
I'll take care of it, all right?
I'm already in there...
...so I'll just keep
nosing around for us.
Mom better not find out about this.
We're home!
Looking for something?
Prophylactics.
Rainbow-colored ones, at that.
Not yours?
No, ma'am.
They belonged to your rotten stepfather.
And not for my benefit, obviously.
I never felt any rainbows.
Now, Mom, you don't need to...
They haven't been opened.
I can only assume that whore of his
preferred things au naturel.
Was there something
that we could help you find?
Get that dog out!
Look, Rex! Come on.
Your stepfather gave you that dog.
Yeah.
Why?
Was there something we could
help you find in particular?
Artifacts of your stepfather in general.
A woman's address in particular.
I want to know who that jezebel was.
Jezebel.
That's a good one.
Oddly enough, I dreamt
about her last night.
I couldn't see her clearly,
having no idea what she looks like.
But it was her.
I gathered that she was Caucasian.
An interesting observation,
because her body was black.
She had the body of
a huge, hairy, black ant.
A queen ant.
About as big as a bus, I would say.
Just a dream, but a disturbing one.
What did the big ant do, Mom?
I'd appreciate your using a Kleenex.
I raised you better than that.
I'm just scratching.
Damn it!
She shamed my family.
We'll find her, Mom.
Don't worry about it.
We'll take care of it.
What are we, the Mafia?
Not another one.
Now, this is a real bad idea.
I'm serious, Angus.
I can't stress that enough.
Big ants?
Big ants?
I really don't like it
when she talks like that.
It's disturbing, you know?
I hope she doesn't talk
like that around her friends.
That ain't going to get her
elected president of the DAR.
Yeah. Well, she's fine.
It's weird.
Remember that story about the woman
that bashed her husband's head in...
...with a frozen leg of lamb, cooked it
and served it to the detectives?
No evidence.
I mean, that's pretty creative.
But I think the perfect murder
would be something more pedestrian.
Something like a household accident.
Like a faulty gas stove or something.
When we find this woman,
we'll have to know what to do.
I'm guessing she doesn't have...
...a convenient heart condition
like Henry did.
What? No, listen!
No more, all right?
We can let Mom carry out
her own vendettas.
Maybe we're overthinking this thing.
Why don't we just find this woman,
pop her with a .22...
...and take her someplace
no one will find her?
This thing went through the grill hood
into this cement beam.
Morning, darling. I hope things
are better for you today.
They are.
Where'd you get that bullet?
Sweeping up the parking lot.
Reader's Digest.
"Drama in Real Life."
I need to pay for this shit.
It's a gift for your baby.
It's an AH-1 Cobra.
I fly them for the Air National Guard.
The Vietcong call them
the Muttering Death.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
If you press that button...
...the little missile will shoot off.
That's how it's designed.
And it's non-toxic.
I think.
You fly these?
The real ones. Me and my brother
are both helicopter pilots.
Y'all serving breakfast?
I want an Egg-Matic sandwich.
We're kind of weekend warriors
at this point...
Anybody home in there?
I'm sorry, sir.
We are not open yet.
We fly these at the base.
Maybe you could come out for a visit...
You ain't open? Since when?
I'm sorry, sir.
We are not open for 15 minutes.
I apologize.
Listen, Sally...
...about yesterday...
If you're in there, you're open!
Give me the manager.
I'm sorry about your dad.
I'm sorry about how I lost my temper.
And about the cops too.
And the gun.
My daddy doesn't exactly
bring out the best in people.
Especially once he's had a snootful.
But he thought you
handled yourself very well.
Girlie! Are you listening to me?
Get me the goddamn manager!
I better go get Billy.
If this place burns up,
we ain't got no jobs.
Hey in there!
I didn't mean for you to come out.
That young lady works
extremely hard in there...
...and I think she deserves
a great deal of respect.
And you're not showing
her respect, are you?
That makes you not welcome
at Burger-Matic.
I think you ought to leave.
Hold on, let me get out first.
Dorian?
Sally? Yes, ma'am?
I was just wondering,
have you ever heard of Lamaze?
You know, natural childbirth?
Yes, I have.
Down at the Y they have Lamaze classes.
They're every Tuesday night.
Starting tonight.
Only thing is...
...you need a partner
and I don't have a partner.
Think of a cervix opening up.
Very nice, Dawn.
Open.
Very nice.
Remember now, we're breathing
for our baby.
Breathing for our baby.
This must be the husband.
I'm just the partner here.
He's cute.
I need you to scoot in here.
Establish eye contact.
Breathing.
Good. Holding hands.
Hold both hands. There you go.
Eye contact here.
You're here to support your partner.
Nice.
Very nice.
Very nice...
...moms and dads!
We're going to make a little shift
in our positions now.
Moms, turn around with your back
to your partners.
Turn with your back to your partner.
Here we go, back to your partner.
Turn your backs.
Dads, wrap your legs around your...
Wrap your legs around your mom's body.
There you go!
Good, back into him.
Good. Lay back in.
Just let him cradle you there.
Very nice.
We're going to do the effleurage.
That's the gentle circular motion...
...the gentle massage
of the abdomen here.
Good breathing.
Just relax back here.
Just let that jaw relax.
Very nice.
Remember, a relaxed jaw
means an open vagina.
Very nice.
Breathing. Let's breathe.
Support our partners with breath.
Put your focus on your partner.
Gentle circular massage
of the abdomen...
...opening and relaxing the cervix
those last two centimeters...
...to allow the baby's head
to softly drop down.
Let's get to our feet.
Partners, help the moms up, please.
We're going to do that
junior high school slow dance.
So everyone up.
Slow dance.
Arms. There we go!
Moms, arms up.
And dads, you're going
to put your arms around...
Just a slow dance.
Think of slow dancing in junior high.
There we go.
You're going to support her.
Spread our legs out here
a little bit. Good.
Pant breathing.
That light, delicate...
Good. Legs shoulder-width apart.
Good. Didn't get pregnant
with those legs together.
That baby won't come
if your legs are together.
Open up and relax...
...and allow your cervix to open.
Pant, pant.
Excuse me.
Bless you.
Thanks.
You can just drop me off right here.
I'll take you up to the front door.
If that's okay.
I'll get that for you.
How come you never asked me
why I need a Lamaze partner...
...or about the father of my baby?
Yesterday I sort of got it was
a touchy subject, so I...
I know how I look to everybody.
But I feel like I was raised right...
...and I can't help the rest.
But I'll be a really good mother.
I know, Sally.
Shit!
I'm sorry.
Thanks. Thanks for coming.
I'm real sorry.
- Where the hell is he?
- I don't know.
I don't know where he is.
We're here for you, Bea.
Thanks, ma'am.
Thank you, sir.
What are you thinking?
What does this say?
- It says I'm late.
- What does that say?
It says I'm a half-hour late.
It says 8:36, is what that says!
I'm very, very sorry.
What about how you ruined the night
for Mom? Feel bad about that?
Look at what you're wearing.
Why not just wear your damn
robot suit to the great big wake?
Come on! I mean...
Right! Good idea.
Good thinking!
God! Coach Adams.
You need a jacket.
The wake's almost over.
Nobody cares what I wear.
Mom cares. Mom cares.
This is her night.
Are you trying to ruin this for her?
Are you trying to make her look stupid,
robot man?
Call me if you need anything.
Good morning, Billy.
Man, I knew you was FBl.
Hi, Roy.
Got to go to a funeral today.
Whatever.
I have to attend a funeral.
"... To our Lord Jesus Christ.
We commend to Almighty God
our brother Henry."
He's my husband...
...not my brother.
Give him back!
"Ashes to ashes...
...dust to dust.
The Lord bless him and keep him, the
Lord make His face to shine upon him...
...and be gracious to him.
The Lord lift up His countenance
upon him and give him peace.
The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want."
Bottom bun, bottom beef, bottom cheese.
Middle bun, top beef, top cheese.
Special sauce, lettuce,
onion chunks, two pickles...
...top bun and box it.
Bastard!
How dare you do this to me?
Mom, sit.
Sorry.
"The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the path...
Excuse me. Sorry.
Excuse me.
"Yea, though I walk through
the valley of the shadow of death...
...I will fear no evil...
...for Thou art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me."
Dorian, are you feeling well?
What made you kick over the flowers?
My foot was asleep.
Stop it!
She was there.
The woman Henry was seeing.
Who was she?
I don't know.
I could feel her. Like the sick,
sweet smell of a cow's breath.
Makes sense, though,
if she really cared.
There was a lot of women there.
There was a lot of women
from the factory.
Maybe I should check out
the funeral register book and just...
...see.
Maybe I ought to nose around
the factory a little some too.
Maybe check out Henry's old office.
That's a good idea.
You're going to run me off the road!
Stop it!
Don't mistreat your brother.
Hi, there!
Hello again.
You want to see Sally?
Come on in.
I'm real sorry about your husband.
That rat bastard?
Forget about it. Come on in.
I'll look around to see
if she's decent.
Baby?
Look who's here.
I was in the neighborhood
so I thought I'd...
...stop by.
Billy told you I had to go to a funeral?
You okay?
Yes.
Big country music fan?
Yeah. I have always dreamed
of being a big hit singer.
You sing?
No.
But you want to be a singer?
I dream of being a singer.
I think that's why
it's called a dream.
I wanted to talk to you
about something...
...that we talked about yesterday.
Would you like to go for a ride?
Sure.
We could go look at
one of the helicopters.
The real ones.
I'd like that.
You want to see the helicopters?
Mama, I'll be back in a little bit.
Ls that it?
Yeah, that's it.
Young captain!
What you up to, Randy?
About half-mast, at least.
Who's your lady friend?
Randy, this is Sally.
Sally, this is Randy.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- The pleasure's mine.
When y'all expecting?
I just came by to show Sally
where her tax dollars are going.
Get in the cockpit.
I don't think that's a good thing...
It's a $ 10 million aircraft, Daddy.
Good vibes for your baby.
Careful.
She's all right.
There you go.
Got to have a helmet
to sit in the cockpit.
How do I look?
Like you were born to it.
This is exactly where Dorian sits.
Copilot-gunner.
20-millimeter Vulcan cannon
under the chin.
You sight it by eye through your helmet.
Whatever you look at gets smoked.
Just a sec.
Turn your head now.
There you go!
Just the trick for your young captain...
...to crap thunder on the unsuspecting.
Can you get us some Yoo-Hoos?
I'd appreciate it.
I'm reading you.
You done good, son.
All right, then.
I'm sorry.
It's nothing. I'm all right.
I really need to...
Do you mind if I ask you
about the father of your baby?
His name was Henry.
He was older than me.
Did you love him?
At one time.
But not now?
He made it hard for me by lying to me.
I don't think you can
love somebody that lies to you.
He found out I was pregnant...
...and tried to talk me
out of having it...
...and suddenly turned out
to be married.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, you know.
I got to tell you something
that's important.
It's real important.
Ls that what you wanted to tell me?
I liked it.
I want you to know...
...I plan on introducing myself
to Henry's wife.
I don't think that's such a good idea.
I really want to have the chance
to explain myself...
...before she finds any pictures.
What pictures?
Pictures of Henry and me.
Nothing bad.
Where would she find pictures
of you and Henry?
Ln his office, I think.
That's where he keeps his stuff.
Thank you.
I'll find my way out.
Grab some cartons when you leave.
On the house.
Find anything?
- What's happening?
- Exactly. What's going on?
Are you trying to score
Brownie points with Mom?
What do you got in your hand?
Are those pictures?
- Let me see.
- It's nothing special.
Can I see them?
Thank you. Very much.
Legs.
Look what we have here.
We got her.
Who?
We got her.
Who?
I can't believe she...
...had the audacity
to smile at me at the funeral.
She smiled at me.
Did you see that?
What do you plan on doing,
peeking in her windows?
If you're coming with me...
...put on this because
you're reflecting light.
She lives in a trailer.
A trailer!
How perfect is that?
So what?
So what?
Angus!
What the hell is that?
You said you'd just spy on her.
Get in here and shut up.
Wait a second. This is bad.
It's genius.
Doors are all locked from the inside.
No signs of forced entry.
No fingerprints.
The perfect murder.
It came to me last night
in a beautiful flash of inspiration.
Carbon monoxide?
Yeah. Very hip right now.
Where will the cops think
the carbon monoxide came from?
I don't know, faulty gas stove.
Things happen all the time.
It's all electric!
Vitas Gerulaitis.
I've got 2 words for you too.
Damn it, Dorian!
Let go of that!
Goddamn it!
Settle down!
Turn it off!
Turn it off. It's not her.
It's not her.
She's not the one.
Not the woman he was seeing.
- What are you saying?
- Think about it.
- When was the picture taken?
- I don't know.
At the last factory Christmas party.
So what?
So who was most likely
to take the picture?
- I don't know.
- Mom.
What are you saying?
You think Mom's so feeble...
...she'd take a snapshot
of this romance...
...and not do anything about it?
Come on!
What's that?
You can't touch everything.
You get fingerprints all over.
You're not even wearing gloves.
Come on, Dorian.
Wake up.
No, not her.
How do you know?
Please!
See her thick ankles?
Girl stomps around
on corned beef cans.
Nope, I would have known.
I would've smelled it on her.
Besides, she's a lesbian.
So she couldn't have been
the one Henry was seeing?
Next time use your head
before you try to kill someone.
I'm glad you were thinking.
I saved his life.
Wouldn't have had to
if you'd had the right house.
Stop putting him up to this.
Putting him up to what?
Mary-Louise Heartfield
certainly has let herself go.
Beautiful skin takes work.
What?
This is a roll of 24 exposures.
I have 20 pictures.
I got it, Mom.
You live here?
You're Henry's son.
I'm his stepson.
Do you recognize her?
How could I? All I can see by this
is she looks like...
...a big black ant.
I can have these developed for you.
Good job.
- Go away!
- Just let me talk to you.
I didn't know till yesterday.
That was real nice of you
to let me go on and on about Henry...
...and not tell me you were his stepson.
It's not easy to explain.
I understand. You wanted to find out
what kind of tramp he...
Now, that's not it at all.
Then what is it?
All I can say is...
...this is a strange situation for me.
Especially since I like you.
I mean...
...I really, really...
You wily bastard!
I bailed him out today.
If he jumps bond again,
you can kill him.
Come on in the house.
The coffee's on.
Don't worry, baby.
It'll be okay.
No offense about the last time we met.
I get that liquor in me and...
Seriously, it's all right, sir.
Shit!
I knew I only had to live long enough
for someone to call me "sir."
Don't cuss in front of the youngster.
Okay, sir.
That's going to be $4.59.
I love you.
Why are you doing this, Dorian?
I think you ought to go on home.
Women!
Good luck to you, chief.
Afternoon.
Pregnant.
Sally, this is my brother, Angus.
This is Sally.
I recognize you from the Burger-Matic.
Yeah, right.
I guess you know about me.
I am real sorry for any pain
that I caused your family.
And most of all...
...I just want to get the chance
to tell your mother that.
Then we can all stop
bothering each other.
How about if I bring her by sometime?
You're both welcome anytime.
And I hope to see you.
Goodbye.
It was nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
You are so screwed.
If you could just
be rational for a second.
Rational? Rational?
Like rubbing bacon with the girl
that's carrying Henry's baby?
I didn't rub bacon with anybody!
What?
I can't believe you!
- Don't hurt Mom!
- Why?
Why, Dorian?
Damn crazy!
Why would you do this to me?
You were my favorite.
I'm asking you to be
understanding about this.
This girl, Sally, is a good person.
She'd never do you harm on purpose.
You know that.
You heard her.
She'd never hurt this family.
Would you leave us alone, please?
Do you remember a long, long time ago...
...our counting game?
I had such terrible stomachaches
after your father left us.
Debilitating.
I'd be in bed for days.
You started getting stomachaches too,
and we had them together.
Do you remember?
What was the only thing that could
make the stomachaches stop?
Counting.
That's right, counting.
Dishes in the sink
and raisins in the cereal.
Steps to the school bus.
Remember how upset we'd get
if someone made us lose count?
I can feel it.
Our family's breaking apart again.
What did you mean when you said...
...Dorian was your favorite?
Angus, I love you both.
The difference is this much.
Yes, ma'am.
I need to talk to a detective.
I can't speak up, I'm sorry...
Hey, man.
Stop!
It's an emergency!
Please.
Hold it!
Come on in.
Nice of you to finally join us.
Your mother and I have been talking...
...and she seems very understanding.
How could I not be,
after all we've both been through?
Why don't you offer the man a drink?
You look like you could use
a few hops there, chief.
Where's Angus?
He went to get ice.
He'll be right back.
He was here?
Your brother had us in stitches.
Didn't he, Red?
Didn't he?
Yeah, that boy's a cutup!
He was in the house? Angus?
He went to use the bathroom.
What are you doing?
Do you have gas?
Do you have gas in the house?
Sometimes he gets a bit high-strung.
You're high-strung!
You are high-strung.
Dorian, you're scaring us.
Why are you acting all normal?
Come in here and have
something to eat with us now.
After you wash your hands.
Food.
Potato salad?
That's a nice touch, Mom.
That's my potato salad!
That looks real good.
Mabel! Mind the boy.
She's not who you think she is.
Hold it, Red!
What the hell are you doing?
Me and Angus killed him.
We killed Henry.
We did it for Mom.
She wanted him dead.
Henry was having an affair
and she wanted him dead.
We chased him in the chopper.
You heard it over your headphones.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted us to scare him.
I'm sorry.
You've been having
the nightmares again, haven't you?
You didn't kill anyone.
Henry died of a heart attack.
You're a good person.
You're a real piece of work.
- Where's Angus?
- I don't know.
Settle down, now!
Don't struggle, honey.
We'll get you professional help.
You're a good boy,
just like your mama said.
Now, settle down, son!
We understand.
What the hell is that?
Goddamn!
Come on!
Come on!
Goddamn it!
Run!
Come on! Come on!
You goddamn son of a bitch!
You want to run?
Watch your head!
Stay with me!
- Run! I got you!
- He's shooting!
Why is he shooting at us?
Get over, Ma!
Sorry, he's gone crazy!
You think?
You happy now, Ma?
What are you on...?
Stop the truck and let Mom out.
I said stop the truck...
...and let Mom out of the damn truck!
It's true.
- What's going on?
- Why don't you tell her, Mom?
Tell her how you finally
drove Angus over the edge.
Stop the truck, goddamn it!
You gave Henry a heart attack.
Oh, God, it is true?
Damn it, stop the truck!
Hold on!
Shit!
You hate me. I don't blame you.
Take me home!
Let me out!
Now's not the best time.
Just hold on!
Turning around!
Oh, shit!
Dorian, damn it!
Remember in Lamaze class...
...how they said extreme stress...
...can bring on labor?
You took her to Lamaze class?
Hold on!
We'll get you to the hospital.
Damn it!
Oh, dear!
Are you reading me?
I'd appreciate a clear shot here.
You...
...and Mom get out of the truck.
We're all staying right here.
We've got a baby coming.
Put Mom on.
Say something to him.
Tell him he doesn't have to do this.
What the hell are you doing?
Aren't you happy?
Aren't you happy now, Mom?
What?
What?
What's happening to my family?
Don't cry.
Don't cry.
I'll make it better.
Damn it!
I know what to do.
Angus, we can talk about this.
What is she doing?
Trying to get us killed.
Get out of the truck.
I'm not going anywhere.
Don't you see she's using you?
You understand that?
One...
...two...
...three...
...four...
...five... six...
Stop counting.
Just look at her, Angus!
Think those are real tears?
That's how she looked at the funeral.
She's always making you feel like crap.
You're better than that.
You're...
A good person.
You're a good person,
a people person.
You're good at a lot of stuff.
I'm your brother.
And you are family,
and I love you.
What?
You'll never be able to make Mom happy,
no matter what you do.
33...
...34...
...35...
...36...
...38...
...39...
...40...
...41...42...
...43...
...44...
...45...
...30...
I hope someone can explain
to me exactly what happened there.
Watch your toes, Ma.
Are you the father-to-be?
The father-to-be's dead!
I'm the stepbrother and I'm also
the father's stepson...
...but I'd like to be the father-to-be.
You can't be the father
and the brother at the same time.
That's the kind of thing
that messes kids up.
Then you're not immediate family.
I'm the Lamaze partner.
Right, Sally?
I'm sorry, sir.
You need to tell her to relax her jaw.
Bottom beef, bottom cheese,
middle bun, top beef...
...top cheese.
Special sauce...
...chopped onions...
...two pickles.
Top bun...
...slide it in.
Bottom beef, bottom cheese...
Suit up. She's asking for you.
I'm your brother.
Stepbrother, actually.
Technically, your father
was married to my mother.
And he's also my stepfather.
So I think we're pretty much okay there.
Now...
...your mother...
...wasn't married to your father...
...but your father was married...
...to your grandmother.
You probably won't
be seeing a lot of her.
But I do want you to meet...
...Angus, your stepbrother...
...my brother.
He's got a short commitment
to the state...
...but the main thing...
The thing...
Family's the thing.
And you got that in spades.
You know, you got the greatest
mother in the world.
Whatever you want to call me,
I want you to know...
...that I'll always be there
for you too.
I don't think he got all that.
We'll make sure he does.