1
Good evening, my dear friends.
Let us undertake
a cinematic journey...
through the world of fantasy.
To this end, I have dug up a few major
movie treats from my Film archives.
Let's begin with an ancient picture that
was gathering dust on my Film shelf:
The Mummy
The Mummy
The time has come again.
The mummy has found some reason
to awaken from its century-long sleep.
Naturally, the mummy falls in love
with an unknown girl...
whom it mistakes
for its long-lost love.
Why are we afraid
of that stiff blockhead?
Everybody should be familiar
with the subject of the next Film:
the creation of an artiFicial being
from body parts of the dead.
We all know the story.
In this castle,
Dr. Frankenstein has his laboratory...
where he created a man
from corpses.
He and his servant Fritz
are on the verge...
of breathing new life into the creature
with the help of electricity.
Now, Fritz! The time has come.
At last I know what it means...
to feel like God!
Of course, the calculations of our
brilliant scientist don't pan out...
and the creature only does
what monsters will do.
Then, one night,
something horrible happens.
Why did you do that?
Create a woman for me,
or you will end up like Fritz.
Dr. Frankenstein knows the monster
will kill him too if he resists...
so he creates
a bride for the monster.
There is your woman!
What are you doing?
She's ugly!
Yes, she was ugly indeed.
In its boundless rage,
the monster pushes the button...
that can destroy
the entire laboratory.
So much for Frankenstein.
But let's get back
to the mummy...
because it's about to seek revenge.
The Revenge Of The Mummy
Short and painful, this revenge!
Now on to something
completely different.
A superhero!
The world-famous Captain Berlin.
This time he must contend
with an alien...
who has just landed
in his apartment.
Captain Berlin Against Hyxar
Listen to me, Earthling.
I am Hyxar...
the terrible bounty hunter
from space.
My master, Mr. Wind,
has sent me...
to destroy you, Captain Berlin!
So prepare for battle!
On to battle!
My God!
This can mean only one thing.
I must transform myself!
You can't run away from me.
This is a case for Captain Berlin.
I must save the world!
My family is in danger!
Well, that, too,
was resolved quickly.
However, what happens when we ravage
and pollute our good Earth...
and, as a result, a giant dinosaur
breaks free to the surface?
This mine is a waste dump
containing hydroxynometaline...
one of the most toxic substances
our civilization produces.
Gazorra. : The Beast
From The Depths Of The Earth
Yes, I will report it.
Commander, a very serious radio call
on channel 1 3!
A gigantic creature has emerged
from the earth...
near the hydroxynometaline stockpile!
What? That's impossible!
All armored combat units
ready for attack!
We will get the creature!
Fire! Fire!
Yes, good! Roger.
Commander, the monster
has reached the city.
Oh, my God!
My research leads me to believe...
that this dinosaur
is a gazorrasaur.
This is a dinosaur species that
has been extinct for millions of years.
Then the time is ripe!
We can Finally try out
our giant combat robot.
Stop! Please rethink your actions.
After all, this is
an invaluable jewel for science.
I must insist
that you catch it alive.
Logically speaking, this is true,
but it won't get us far.
The super giant combat robot
is a secret weapon.
We have never tried it before.
It has super-hyper-mano-facture
turbines...
and several super weapons
on board, of course.
It will put an end to this Gazorra.
I'm telling you:
You will regret this!
But at least leave me the bones!
Humankind will thank me.
Giant combat robot,
forward march!
Good. Thank you.
Commander, bad news. Operation Robot
has unfortunately failed.
Damn! This leaves us
with only one last option: the bomb.
- Where is the monster?
- At the train station, Commander.
Very good. Then we'll put
the bomb on a railway car...
a remote-control railway car...
and let it slam into the beast.
May God be with us!
After this classically tragic ending,
it is very difFicult for me...
to present to you
the following modern bloody horror.
But not to fear!
Let it roll!
This is the home
of sex-offender Bruno.
It seems he's not home yet.
Well, I suppose
he's still out hunting.
Oh, I hear something.
Let's listen. He's coming.
Come here. Now!
Well, after this
I can only wish you bon appetit...
and say good-bye to you blood-lickers
until next time.
Good-bye.