Did you bring it?
Here it is.
Babe Ruth's hitter for his
29th and last home run,
before the Red Sox traded him
to the Yanks in 1919.
Bad luck for the Sox.
Collector's item for my dad.
Autographed?
- Careful.
- No way.
My dad'll give me a beating
if he knows I showed you.
- Let me hit it.
- Are you crazy?
Come on.
It's just a baseball.
- That wasn't the deal.
- Deals change.
Right, J.J.?
Wait. You said...
Batter up.
Don't!
Great.
You can't go in there.
I have to get my dad's ball.
He'll pound me
if I don't bring it home.
I'd take your chances
with your dad.
Whatever.
For over 50 years,
the Wicker House
has been abandoned,
scarred by time, feared by all,
its sordid history
filled with dark tales.
But what's the real story
behind the Wicker House?
Is there any substance
to the rumors
of countless murders
of immigrants,
slaves, prostitutes?
Then, in 1951,
a boy taken
by the house itself.
And now, decades later,
the mansion is left
without a new owner.
But its legacy continues.
Locals report strange noises,
movement behind the curtains.
And then there's
the constant stream
of mysterious disappearances.
So is it just
another urban legend?
Or is the Wicker House
really haunted?
We'll investigate next week
on Sinister Sites.
What, am I gonna stand here
looking like a jerk-off?
Somebody gonna yell "cut"? Cut!
That's terrible.
This is coffee.
Where's my Scotch?
You got five minutes for me?
Yeah, of course,
of course, of course.
Listen, sweetie, do me a favor.
Why don't you move my
lunch meeting by 15 minutes?
Make sure you tell the maitre'd
I want the same table.
- They can't screw me on the table.
- Yes, sir.
Okay, go on, go on.
That's fine.
Thanks, babe. Later.
Later, in the dressing room.
Did you get to see
some of the magic?
I thought we weren't
doing composites anymore.
You know, the fans
just think the CGI's awful,
and the whole thing's
just kind of tired.
Wow. Okay.
Uh, a couple of teenagers
in their parents' basement
write up a few negative blogs,
suddenly my hit show is tired?
Former hit show,
would be more accurate.
Walk with me.
So we, uh...
Ooh. It dropped two points
after the premiere?
It's worse than that.
You lost four points
with the 18 to 25-year-old male.
So we'll make some changes,
you know?
We'll add some
T and A, somehow.
Just set up a conference call
with my producers.
- They'll handle it, all right?
- We're a little bit past that point.
I already spoke to Tom
about some format changes.
Don't say or do anything
until we get the camera rolling, all right?
I'm just checking it out.
Is that a fresh coat of paint?
Tom's gonna freak out.
The location pictures were a lot creepier.
I am definitely getting
a lot of energy from the house.
Okay, well, that's good.
That's good.
But can we save that
for the camera?
- Bub is driving.
- Is that the producer?
Bub's a local hire.
- Who painted the house?
- That's a good question.
Who's got the key?
The bank Realtor, that's who.
Jeez, these local yokels.
I'm not too impressed myself, so...
What are you saying,
that I'm not a star anymore here,
- all of a sudden?
- No, no.
Don't you realize that
I just got offered ten grand
for a one-day appearance at
the Port Washington, Wisconsin,
comic book convention?
Buddy, I got fans.
You have fans, absolutely.
But you know this.
Everything's just changed.
It's the whole reality TV thing.
People want stars
to be regular Joes.
I'm not gonna make
a meal out of this.
We... We're not getting
our money's worth
with you doing cheesy bumpers
in front of a green screen.
Now if we were to mix in
a little reality show,
a big-name star
actually on location,
- that could play.
- Location? Yeah, right.
You guys don't pay me
enough for that.
If you don't,
the network's prepared
to terminate your contract.
Fine. I'll book a ticket.
That's what I thought you'd say.
I already booked you one.
- First class?
- Don't push it.
I gotta take this.
Ah, you prick.
So how was the ride
with the psychic?
It was fine.
Started talking about feelings
as soon as we got here.
I told her to save it
for the camera.
She mention a husband
or boyfriend or anything?
I didn't go there, Tom.
I don't go there. Okay?
Plus, Greg's your wingman
on those operations.
I'm camera.
That's all I do.
Okay, camera. Can you get
the van unloaded, please,
and see if we can get
our location open?
Should we wake your boy up?
Dude's been sleeping
since the airport.
Leave him.
That's the kind of job
I want right there.
Sit on my ass all day,
collect a paycheck.
Just chill.
Hey, bro.
How you doing, man?
I'm Tom Rule.
I'm the producer.
We didn't get a chance
to talk very much in the car.
- Yeah, you were in there on that phone.
- Listen, do me a favor.
I don't usually fire the P.A.
Until after the second day, so,
keep your mouth shut,
and don't cheat yourself
out of the overtime, all right?
Okay.
Who pissed in his Cheerios?
Dude, the ratings are down, you know?
Perfect.
Oh, jeez.
So did you get caught up
on your beauty sleep?
Yeah. Thank you.
Well, it's nice of you
to decide to join us.
You know, Greg, I like you.
But I would hate to have
to do this show without you.
You would.
Well, you know what they say.
The show must go on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How about that paint job?
Aw, man. What do you think
they were thinking with that one?
Extreme Makeover,
Haunted House Edition.
Yeah, that's not even funny.
I told them to leave it
exactly the way that it is.
It's the grimmer, the better.
Maybe we use it.
The house did it.
Quentin could sell it.
If he shows up.
You think he'll show up?
I don't think he's got
much of a choice.
You're right.
Oh, no key.
The Realtor will
be here any minute.
Dude. You really think
we need a key?
Right.
Freaky.
Boo-yah.
After you, Tombo.
House paints house.
House lets us in.
House feeds guests.
Whoa.
Now that's what
I call hospitality.
What else this house do?
- Hi, I'm Sarah. Nice to meet you.
- From the bank.
Yeah, yeah.
You listening? All right.
Tommy thinks
you're late, but, uh...
How did you open
the gate without a key?
We thought you
left it open for us.
You guys were not given permission
to stay here tonight.
- It's okay.
- It's not okay.
Where is Tom?
He's around back.
All right.
So?
First impressions?
Not as creepy as that sanitarium
in Santa Mira, but...
nothing that a smoke machine
and backlighting won't fix.
Me likey.
We'll set up in here.
This was not our arrangement.
You cannot stay here.
Okay, look, Sarah.
Tom's going to straighten
all this out...
The bank carries
a liability in this place.
You're permitted to film here
a few hours tomorrow,
not tonight.
- You're not covered.
- Great. Um...
Dude, should I just
put it in the car?
What... Uh...
- You're late.
- You're early.
Unpack the stuff by the fireplace.
- Wait.
- Contract issues.
- Okay, you know what?
- Okay, listen, listen.
Everything's gonna
be fine, kid, okay?
I'm just... I'm calling the bank.
On a Saturday?
Your supervisor must
really love her job.
Five daytime hours.
- That is what we agreed to.
- Okay...
Underline it.
Understand daytime.
You can scout today,
shoot tomorrow. That's it.
I understand, but we like
to shoot at night.
It's spookier.
We're offering you
national TV exposure here.
Millions of viewers.
Either you want to sell
this house, or you don't.
I'm starting to feel like
I'm doing your job here.
- Really?
- Whoa, whoa.
I'm sorry.
I still didn't catch your name.
And I'm not gonna get it. Wow.
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
He's being a jerk, all right?
- Really?
- I have to deal with it all the time, okay?
But look, I don't mean to put you
in a bad spot. We don't.
It's just easier for us
if we shoot at night. Okay?
- You have no idea, do you?
- Actually, we do.
We've done 48 shows
just like this, okay?
We control the horizontal
and the vertical.
The house is what we make it.
Well, I hope you're right.
It's just smoke and mirrors.
I promise.
It's movie magic, really.
Please?
Thank you.
My name is Sarah Minor.
Simon has my number.
If you run into
any problems, call me.
Thank you.
I could lose my job.
Here, grab this.
The camera.
Here.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Don't touch anything, man.
It's Tom's rules.
Sorry. Hey, who handles
take-out around here?
No, no, no.
Not that, Bub.
Nobody touches that.
Touch this.
Don't touch that.
Dude, don't you
make up those lines.
Listen, these work
on suction, okay?
Get it on the wall,
then pump it up.
A little suction, okay?
You get it?
We need one of these
in every room
on the far wall.
Tom will tweak the angles
once they're up.
Okay? You with me?
Got it?
This is what they, like,
climb buildings with, right?
Yeah, you sure can.
What's that toy, man?
This toy?
Well, this is no toy, okay?
Bub, this is Chucky.
Chucky, Bub.
Chucky's got balls of steel.
Literally.
He's a little bit higher up
on the food chain than you are.
All right?
EMF reader, infrared lenses,
DAT recorder.
Sennheiser MD-421 mic,
500-gigabyte hard drive,
lab kit. Okay?
Quentin had said
there would be free t-shirts?
Does that still happen?
You haven't had the talk
with him, have you?
No.
Hey, Bub, listen.
Uh, don't talk so much.
And just listen. Okay?
Stay out of the way,
stay out of the shot.
- Stay out of the shot.
- 10-4. Absolutely.
And just do what
we tell you to do...
and only what we
tell you to do.
- Is that okay?
- No problem with that.
Shh.
Is that his tech guy,
camera guy?
What's the deal?
Lead investigator.
Cinematographer.
Wasting everybody's time.
Don't do that.
- It's beautiful, isn't it?
- Oh, jeez.
Sorry.
You have to be careful
in a house like this.
Uh, yeah.
There is so much pain
surrounding us.
How was the drive?
It was fine.
Good.
Uh, I have your contract
in the van, by the way.
If you want me to get it,
I can bring it in.
- We can sign it now or later.
- Whatever you like.
Okay.
This is a very special house.
There's just...
There's just so much pain
and pleasure,
it's overwhelming.
Listen... Heather, is it?
Uh, let's wait for the cameras
to start rolling.
We'll get some interviews
and some close-ups of you
walking around the house.
You don't have to convince me
of anything, honey.
You got the part, trust me.
So you don't believe.
No offense.
I mean, really,
I just, uh...
I've been on the show
for four years.
I've been to over 50
haunted houses,
and the scariest thing
I've seen is a girl
that tried to pick up Greg
in a bar in Tuscaloosa.
I mean, you can definitely
walk the walk,
and you've got a great look.
So...
You know, I'm glad you're here.
Welcome.
You will be convinced.
Well, don't convince me of that.
Convince the fans.
Yo, man. 5:30.
Yes. Yes.
Hey! Pizza!
Call it out!
Anchovies
and a two-liter cola!
Piece of frickin' crap house!
What did you do, man?
Is somebody messing with me?
Where's the camera?
It's in the wall.
Get the hell out of here, man.
Go take care of your hand.
Yes, sir.
Guys!
Dude, there's something
not right about this house.
What do you mean?
There's ectoplasm in the wall.
Excellent. Bag it.
We'll do a segment on slime
and other spiritual excretions.
Where did the slime come from?
The bank Realtor, most likely.
Let me see it.
How did this happen?
Bub dropped it in the wall.
In the wall?
That's a strange place
to plant slime.
- It's yellow.
- Yeah. Like mucus.
The stuff we see is green, man.
It's never this yellow.
It looks like snot.
Look at it.
- You want to show it to the psychic?
- Yes, I do.
As soon as I get the lighting
set up for the other scene.
Where do you want
to do this, anyway, man?
Oh, in front of the old fireplace.
Classic.
It smells old.
- What you got there?
- Snot-cam.
What?
You take a look at it,
then you tell me what it is.
And by the way, we're gonna do
the psychic interview...
Right in front of the fireplace.
Spookier.
Yeah, classic.
I got it.
Hey, Greg, tell me this, man.
How many people did they say
actually got killed here?
Over 200 years, nine dozen.
Prostitutes, slaves,
um, visitors.
Till that kid that got lost here
in the 1950s, nothing.
It does feel different here.
What do you mean?
It just feels
like we're being watched.
How's the feed?
Chucky's on fire, man.
Where's Bub?
Bub!
Bub!
He cut his hand.
I told him to go clean it up.
What, did he leave?
He couldn't have, man.
I've been here the whole time.
Now, that's interesting.
We have ourselves
a little mystery here, fellows.
Let's use it.
Yeah.
Boom, gone.
This is great.
This is just great.
What?
We need to go up.
No. We'll send Chucky up first.
Give me a wider angle.
Yeah.
Bub?
We've been in the house
for about 92 minutes now,
and already some very strange things
have started happening.
First, we arrived in the kitchen
to find a refrigerator
full of fresh food,
uh, indicating that
there might be a presence here
that was expecting us.
Physical? Nonphysical?
We're not sure.
But we're about to find out.
It's about to get real, folks.
One of our team members
has gone missing.
This house has proven
to be full of surprises here.
Uh, we've never seen
anything like it.
How was that?
- Good.
- Good.
We're getting
a strong reading right here.
Whoa!
Greg.
Hey, we're getting
the good stuff.
- What? What's the reading?
- It's off the charts.
Did you see anything?
This kid's playing one smooth trick.
Right there.
Back that up.
All right. Tighter.
All the way.
Okay, now, can you
crop that right there?
There.
Are you okay?
The presence in this house
is malevolent. We should go.
That's great.
Let's get another take of that.
Yeah. Oh, yeah!
I love this house!
We're having a killer show here.
Somebody help me!
Bub!
All right.
Greg and I will go
upstairs and investigate.
Simon, you film Heather getting
some responses off the monitor.
Heather, I'm looking
for some action here, okay?
You know, uh,
spice it up a little bit.
Every house has a spot.
In some cases, it's the attic.
Other cases,
it's a cellar, shed.
You remember that church
that we went to in Missouri...
how hot it got when we
got near the bathrooms?
Same kind of situation here.
Of course, it turned out
to be the furnace.
It did freak me out, though.
Whoa!
Okay.
Looks like somebody
got creative
with some Krazy Glue.
Let's, uh, get that sample there.
That's good.
That's not...
What, is that real?
That's good.
Please, help me!
Help me!
- Wait, wait.
- What?
Did you get my reaction
before I left the frame?
Come on, man.
He sounds scared.
- Listen...
- Bub, where are you?
Bub!
Bub!
- Old houses like these...
- Bub, where are you?
Have an endless supply
of little nooks and crannies
- like this one.
- Come on, man!
And in them...
Whoa!
Bub!
You never know
what you're gonna find.
Bub, where are you?
Bub!
- Pretty spooky stuff.
- Come on, man! Bub!
Greg, this bedroom's clear!
Get away from me!
Please stop!
Video down!
Hey.
What was that?
Okay.
I'll get you going up.
You're a lot of help.
Wait, wait, wait.
Come on, people!
Transmission's down!
Check your connections!
Oh, yeah!
Guys!
You all right up there?
Bub?
Hey, the kid's not here!
He's not here now, but he was.
Or somebody was.
Don't touch it.
Record it.
Listen to this.
Oh, God!
I'm sorry.
Let me up.
Please, let me gol
Answer me, son.
What is it, EVP?
I reversed the playback
and slowed it down a bit.
- Man, it sounds real.
- Yes! Let me go!
- It's probably transmitted.
- Stop!
Where's Bub?
"And if any man hears my voice
and open the door,
I will come in..."
Look. Right there.
Zoom in on that.
Back up, like,
a frame or two. Right.
What is that,
a glitch in the tape?
It's too localized.
It's too persistent.
It looks like fireflies.
So many spirits.
So many spirits.
Look at the way
they're hovering around him.
- It looks like they're protecting him.
- From what?
Now what is that?
Back up like a frame or two.
What is going on here?
She's sick, man.
Oh.
Is that hair?
Oh, my...
Wait, take it slow.
Okay.
You okay?
I'm sorry.
No, you don't have
anything to be sorry about.
Something in this house
got inside of me.
Sammy's going to take you
to get looked at, okay?
I'm not leaving.
Look, I don't want
to argue with you,
but it's a liability issue.
I have to stay.
Nobody can help Bub but me.
I don't think you can.
No, I can.
Trust me.
Okay.
Okay.
Victims.
The Book of Revelation, 3:20.
Book of Revelation.
Let me go.
"Oh, behold,
I stand at the door and knock..."
Please!
"And if any man hears
my voice and open the door,
"I will come in to him,
and will sup with him, "
Please, stop. No.
"And he with me."
Please.
Do you repent?
I'm sorry.
Let me go. Please.
Answer me, son.
Answer me, son.
Do you repent?
Please stop.
Repent for your sins?
I'm skinned alive,
and they're all around me.
It hurts.
Do you repent?
She won't go to the hospital.
I can't figure out
how they did this.
I mean, we just hired
this kid yesterday.
What are you talking about?
Bub.
He's on the radio and it seems
like it's in real-time.
Listen.
Do you?
I repent. I'm sorry.
What, do you think she's right?
I have no idea anymore.
Hello?
This is Simon McCallister.
This is an emergency.
My address is...
Hello?
Hello? Who is this?
This is Simon McCallister.
This is an emergency.
- My address is...
- Who is this? Uh...
Are you in the house?
Help me, Simon.
- Is this Sarah?
- Simon?
From the bank?
Who is this?
Simon?
Oh.
Simon?
Help me.
Okay.
Unit 17, report...
Walkie check.
It was there..
Then it was gone.
Did it record?
No.
All right, staff meeting.
Come here.
Okay, here's what
we're going to do.
Let's finish the show.
We'll find Bub,
and then we'll get out of here tonight.
Dude, what is wrong with you?
This house is haunted. Huh?
And you want to keep shooting?
Hello. We're ghost hunters, man.
This is what it's all about.
No, we are not.
This is a show, man.
But ghosts can't hurt you.
Remember? Right?
Tell that to Bub and Heather.
This is bad. We need
to get out of here now.
Okay, what about Bub?
What, do we just leave him here?
Well, I don't see how
filming's going to help him.
Okay, right.
Exactly.
No, not exactly!
This is my show, Greg.
For the first time,
we might have the real deal.
Oh, so now you think
it's the real deal.
You say that like
that's a bad thing.
It is, man.
Look. I don't know
what's going on here.
We're in a dangerous place.
We need to get out of here now.
If you want to start
playing producer,
consider the insurance risks.
What is wrong with you?
This is our chance, man.
This is our chance
to do something big.
Dude, I'm scared. All right?
I'm scared.
Now, usually you are spot on,
but I'm with Simon.
And we need to get
out of here right now.
What about Bub?
Damn it.
Hello?
Simon!
What are you doing here?
Your friend, she needed help.
She was in trouble,
so I called the cops.
You called the cops?
No, there's no way.
She doesn't have your number.
I called 911.
- What?
- What?
- The call must have gone to her.
- I'm confused.
I heard Heather's voice
on the phone, too.
Is everyone all right?
No, not in the least.
The house called her.
That's the only explanation.
The house wants her here.
What are you saying?
Get your camera.
Get your stuff.
Bub?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I messed up.
Bub!
Oh, my God.
What was that?
Oh, my God.
Looks like flesh.
Oh, my God.
What's this?
Look out!
Help.
Damn.
We got to get out of here.
We got to get out of here!
We got to get out of here!
Got to get out!
Open!
Get us out.
Get us out!
Get us out!
Greg, go calm him down, please.
What is it?
I don't know.
Can you talk to it?
No, I can't.
Can you try?
I can't.
Sorry.
Dude, you got
to calm down, all right?
Or you're going
to go into shock.
And there's
no outside help, okay?
Look, just take
deep breaths, man,
or you're going to pass out.
Look, come on.
Look, breathe with me.
Come on, man.
I should never have called 911.
See, but that's just it.
Dude, it's not your fault.
She came and not the cops.
Huh?
The house did it.
Answer your phone, Tom.
My life is in peril here.
Jesus.
Uh, man.
Does the Big Easy Taxi Company
have a health department?
Oh, God.
The taxi needs an air freshener.
In fact, you know what?
You don't clean a cab like this.
You incinerate it.
Oh, man, I work
in network television.
This is...
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, you know the show
Sinister Sites?
Aha! You recognize me now,
don't you?
Take a good, long look,
'cause every breath I take
in this death cage Petri dish
of scurvy could be my last.
Get out, you son of a bitch!
You know what?
Show some self-respect
and torch this thing.
Jesus, I never should
have left Los Angeles.
Huh.
Aw.
Disgusting.
My suitcase!
My suitcase!
It's famished.
I got to get out of here.
Okay, so the house is haunted
by a lot of ghosts.
Some intelligent, some residual.
But it also seems
like the house itself is alive
or possessed or whatever.
The dominant presence
isn't in the house.
It is the house.
Well, then how did it
get that way?
Desmond Delacroix.
Who?
Great.
Somebody else
that doesn't do any research.
Follow me.
Desmond Delacroix passes away
after 37 years on Wicker Lane.
The story goes that he was
obsessed with eternal life,
and he used his slaves to pursue
this obsession in the dark arts.
He practiced witchcraft
on his slaves.
Voodoo.
Well, he did die.
But the story goes,
the evil lived on...
for centuries, in fact.
The last owner
passed away in 1941,
and there wasn't
any violence until 1950,
when that boy I was
telling you about
wandered onto these grounds.
Samuel Lewton.
That's the okra farmer...
All that stuff in the kitchen.
Victor Jacques Tournier.
Yeah, he was a sort of...
Tool maker.
Those are his tools in the attic.
Right.
The other owners were
Robert Webster Wise,
a preacher...
Abraham Marker...
He was from Utah.
Occupation, violinist.
And a judge with
a taste for botany,
Justice Radcliff.
The greenhouse.
Let me show you something else.
I found this in here earlier.
It chronicles the history
of the house.
According to this,
Delacroix made his slaves
bury the bodies
of their dead relatives
in the foundation and the walls.
Looks like it was a way
to build psychic capacity.
He found a way to store
and generate psychic energy,
and then the other owners,
he influenced them.
Influenced them?
Or possessed them?
What's the difference?
So are we saying
that this house is alive?
Is that what I think it is?
A house of bones.
Tom, this is Quentin.
For the fifteenth time,
answer the phone.
This place better have a shower.
So if it is alive,
we can kill it.
Yeah, like,
rip its heart out...
But where's the heart?
And that's assuming it's got
the anatomy of a human.
Well, these plans the city gave us
are going to help us.
- The bone was brittle.
- So?
If one room's unhealthy,
the whole house is.
It's like it hasn't been fed.
So why's it keeping Bub alive?
Maybe it wants more.
These plans are all wrong.
This one's plans for
a whole 'nother house.
It's going to put you
on the right track, though.
We need to find the plans
to this house, the blueprints.
And they've got to be in this house.
Okay.
We'll conduct a search.
But nobody goes alone.
Right. We'll go top to bottom.
Greg, you and I
will do the searching.
Simon, you stay downstairs.
You're going to be
our eyes and ears.
Heather, you stay with Simon,
and just keep doing whatever
it is that you've been doing.
Okay, we're going to be on the radio.
The house is wired.
We do have that to our advantage.
The house is going
to try to manipulate you.
If anything happens,
just trust reality.
Stand your ground.
Yeah. Don't do anything stupid.
What are we looking for, anyway?
Blueprints. They're going
to be rolled up in tubes,
just like posters.
Well, well, well.
Glad you can make it.
Let me introduce you
to this beautiful single-family home
on a lovely tree-lined street
that you should call home.
Well, well, well.
Glad you can make it.
Oh, my God.
They're all around me.
They're...
They're all around me.
Just keep breathing.
They won't hurt you.
Glad you can make it.
Let me introduce you
to this beautiful single-family home
on a lovely tree-lined street
that you should call home.
They can't hurt me.
They can't hurt.
Tom!
Tom! Tom!
Let me introduce you
to this beautiful single-family home
on a lovely tree-lined street
that you should call home.
Well, well, well.
Glad you can make it.
Tom!
You got to come up, man.
Somebody.
Oh, God.
We're going downstairs
to check on them.
- Simon.
- Just stay here.
- Well, well, well. Glad you can make it.
- Tom!
Let me introduce you
to a stunning home,
perfect for you and the in-laws
on this immaculate
tree-lined property.
This house can be yours.
This house can be yours.
This house can be...
Open. Come on.
Come on.
Tom!
Greg?
Greg, are you all right?
Simon?
Tom?
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, oh, God.
Please! Oh, God!
Oh, God.
Who's got the gun?
Help him.
Simon, Simon.
Let me see.
Stop.
Stop.
Please, please.
Oh, God.
No.
No.
What happened to you?
Ghost on meat hooks.
I jumped out of the window
to get away,
but I don't think
it's going to let us leave.
I got hypnotized by
a realty commercial.
Don't ask.
I got my eye drilled out
by Chucky.
Had to deep-six him.
But that's cool.
Look what I got.
This is too much.
Lovely.
I hate haunted houses.
That's a bit creepy.
I don't get paid enough for this.
Got to get a shot of this.
That is hilarious.
Can't be.
Disgusting.
Oh, no.
Tom!
Are we both seeing Quentin?
Yeah.
Whatever we do,
we cannot let him in here.
Okay, how do we keep him out?
It hears us.
Quentin?
Is that you?
Who do you think it is?
The door's jammed.
Please, please, please,
tell me there's a working
shower in there
with hot water
and some fluffy towels.
Hey, what are you
doing here, man?
Well, for starters, my job.
Unfortunately.
Now? Here, tonight?
- Are you holding the door?
- Listen to me, man.
You can't come in here.
It's not safe.
It's dirty,
and there's a lot of smells.
You wouldn't like it.
And also,
the show, Sinister Sights,
it's finished.
Are you working
for the network now?
Actually, Quentin,
I'm looking after you.
Over budget on the last five episodes,
that's you looking out for me?
- Actually...
- You know what, if it wasn't for me,
you'd still be licking stamps
in the mail room right now.
Actually, Quentin, I've managed
to keep my job in spite of you.
You want to take
a look behind me, pal?
Maybe we can do this inside.
It's pouring.
You picked the wrong night
to play producer, pal.
Executive producer.
Now get Simon
to unstick this door.
Tell Greg to order some sushi.
Who's running this circus,
and why isn't anybody
answering their cell phones?
This house is not like the other houses.
Look. The main water line...
It's coming into the house
from a totally different point.
It's the old slave quarters.
It looks like they built over a well.
And why would anybody do that?
It's too visible.
The well is where they would
dump the bodies,
so they built over it.
The slave quarters.
Somebody is going
to have to talk to him.
Are you filming this?
- I am not in the mood.
- Just send him to the back door.
Simon, come on.
Quentin, listen, man,
this door is hopeless.
Go around the back.
In the rain?
You're going to buy me
some new shoes.
I hate locations.
Quentin, it's not safe
in here, okay?
Who's she?
She's the psychic, man, okay?
Just listen.
We need your help
getting out of here. Okay?
Everything's over.
Why does everybody
keep saying that?
There's no time, man.
Just listen.
This house... It's like the caves.
Remember?
It's just different.
We need you to tell us
what's in that shack.
Does somebody have a key, or do you
want me to just gnaw through the chain?
Or maybe somebody
can let me in the house
before I kill one of you
for some ratings.
Do you think we're joking?
- What the...
- We're out of options, man.
You're all we've got.
Please.
But that...
Go.
Go! Please!
Yeah.
Damn it.
I need a hot tub right now.
It's a well.
- You were right.
- So all these years they've been feeding it.
Well, well, well.
That's why we're all still alive.
The house isn't as strong
without fresh bodies.
I mean, we've all seen
how it feeds.
So if we don't feed the house,
the house dies.
Why are we talking
about feeding it?
Am I the one that's actually
going to have to say it?
It's looking for a caretaker,
and we have
a fresh body to feed it.
No, Tom.
We take it to the well,
and this ends, Greg.
We don't know that for sure.
Oh, really?
You know, before you came along,
this was a real cushy job...
no real ghosts,
just us shooting grainy footage
of us scaring ourselves.
First show with you on board
and we got two dead people.
Bub may not be dead.
Well, he might as well be!
The other caretakers,
they figured this out.
If they keep the house fed,
it lets them go
about their business,
and I say we do the same.
Heather.
Come on, you going
to let me in or not?
The key to the slave quarters.
It's on one of the chimes.
Let's go.
Tom.
We do this, and at least
we have a chance.
Put her down.
I have an idea.
Is this for real?
Get the hell out of here.
We're doing you a favor,
even if you don't deserve it
because you don't.
What did I do?
- You don't like the rain?
- No.
Go find a tree to sit under
because you're not getting
in here. Okay?
Uh...
Go.
- You really think this is a good idea?
- Shh.
I've got to say, this is all very
out of the ordinary for me, okay,
but I'm going to play along.
I'm assuming this is part
of the show at this point.
I'll be back.
Take that.
Somebody's getting fired for this.
I found it!
Help me.
If I help you...
I'm next.
Hey, Greg, I've got the key.
Tom.
Tom!
We have to do this now,
or we're never going to get out of here.
The house is only
getting stronger.
- I've got to get Tom.
- Why?
Something's not right.
I'll be back.
Tom.
The house never leaves a trace.
I know that now.
We can't stop it.
Oh, my God.
Tom, snap out of it, man.
It's daylight soon.
We're going to get out of here.
I like you...
But you're wrong.
What are you talking about?
Evil has always taken
residence in this house.
And we can't stop that.
Jesus, that's deep.
I can't do this.
I know what you're thinking.
Look, she's gone.
We do this, and we all
get out of here.
It's over.
Come on, girl.
One...
Two...
Three.
It's stuck.
Simon!
Simon!
Somebody help me, please.
Please.
Bub.
Somebody help me.
Please!
Bub.
Bub.
I'm sorry.
Please don't leave me.
Please don't leave me.
Bub? Where did he come from?
Get him out of here. Now.
Bub? Where did he come from?
Bub?
Where did you get this?
- Where did you...
- Nobody survives this place.
Nobody.
Simon.
Sim...
Go to the van.
I'll get Bub and Tom.
You.
I told you to keep your mouth closed.
Bub!
Heather!
Tom!
Where you going, Greg?
You have nowhere to return to.
Tom, you're stronger
than this, all right?
- You can beat this.
- Nobody beats the house.
We're family, man.
Look at me.
You don't have to leave, Greg.
We can work together again.
Where's Heather?
Man, what have you done?
When I'm done,
there won't be a single trace.
You know, Greg, sometimes
the greatest foundation for change
is to stay right where you are.
Hello. Are you here?
Tom Rule?
Oh, Mr. Rule,
we're the Holdens,
you know,
the ones you contacted
about spending the night
at the House of Bones?
Well, well, well,
I didn't think you guys
were going to make it.
I remodeled the upstairs
especially for you.
This will be so exciting.
Welcome.