1
,
never Kool Aid
Sippin' on D'Usse, psych
Came a long way from G'burg
Puttin' in work like Ferg
New York, to L.A.,
Hawaii and Japan
I'm the man, least
I'm feelin' like I am
Got the whole wide world
in the palm of my hand
But don't give
a, I'm Sam I am
What that even mean, I don't
know what you talkin' 'bout
Why nowadays everybody
got a palm out
PLP, yeah that be me, and
that be what I rhyme 'bout
I have arrived, all you
rappers are in timeout
RattPack, where you at
Everywhere worldwide
I know you been waitin'
for this world to collide
B-O-double B-Y
H-A-L-L and Folarin
'Bout to take it back
like Doc and Marty
Inside the DeLorean
I am no historian, but here
to make my predecessors proud
All you, not allowed
I put it on everything,
I really want a cop out
But I did good
for a drop out
Hop out the coupe,
chicken heads go crazy
Gotta sound swag when
the flow get lazy
What up, what good, where
you at, what you been on
Anybody step into me,
I promise they get, on
Better hop up on the train
'Fore you miss the chance to
Hop up on the, hop
up on the train
'Fore you miss the
chance to get on
Mixtape Bobby, that's
the type of, I spit on
Woo
And it's on now
Everybody know
that it's on now
I'll be damned
- 107.9,
Atlanta's home for hip-hop.
Night tracks is
sponsored by Fye.
Get that futuristic high
with Fye, coming soon.
And coming up, we're dropping--
- Okay, we got a
biggie burger, wings,
two waters, y'all want sauce?
- Boy, you know
we want that sauce.
- Yeah, we wanna get
it real wet.
- Okay, 10.48, drive on up.
Come on now, come on
now, you gotta survive
I said you gotta survive
Damn, now what you
two little fine
rich girls doing eating here?
Whole Foods out of
gas or something?
- We in the mood to
get reckless tonight.
- You wanna turn up with us?
- Hell yeah.
- Let's go smoke out
back, three ways.
- Yo, where you get weed from?
Yo, it's been dry
as hell around here.
- Everybody's down bad.
You have no idea what we
had to do to get this pack.
Come here.
- Whoa.
- Woo!
- Spark it up, baby, yeah.
- So look, I'm working
for this company
called Too Smack'd,
it's like a app.
Like, that delivers
snacks to weed-heads,
you know what I'm saying?
And it's called Too
Smack'd 'cause like,
you smacking while you snack.
- Oh my god.
- You get it?
Too Smack.
Y'all got me too high.
- You ain't really high
until you hit this.
- That looks like a purge mask.
- Come on, baby.
- Okay, a little bit.
- Are you ready, all right.
- Here's what's up.
- What the?
- We're gonna go inside
and you're gonna give us
all of the cash in the register,
or we're gonna deep
fry your meat, cool?
- Damn, man.
Why y'all gotta go all
Clermont twins on me like that?
- Our Xan dealer don't take
Daddy credit card no more.
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
- Well what in the sweet
hell have you got going on?
- I got robbed.
- By who?
- Savages, they was big
and it was a lot of 'em
and I fought 'em off
for as long as I could.
- Boy, you know the first rule
of working the night shift
is you can't leave the
store unattended, bro.
These people out
here are animals
and they will kill your mama
for a damn egg sandwich.
Now I gotta go back
here and see if we got
the damn thugs on the videotape.
- Video?
- Roger, man, let me impeach
you on a little wisdom, man.
If you wanna be in charge,
you've got to follow
the rules, bro.
You gotta be a sheep
but not a outside sheep.
You wanna be an inside sheep,
'cause outside sheep get ate.
A sheep, remember
that at your next job.
- Next job?
- Yeah, 'cause I'mma
have to let you
go, man, you fired.
And I need that shirt back.
- Oh no, no, you can't, yo,
you can't take this shirt.
I got a meeting at the
bank and I need this shirt,
I left my shirt at home.
- The shirt is
property of Zesto's,
I need that shirt back, man.
- Fine man, I'mma do my own
thing anyway, keep the shirt.
- Man, what the hell is this?
- Ah, I left that in the pocket.
- I guess you had
a hell of a night.
- No, no, that's mine, dog.
- It was in the shirt so I
guess it belong to Zesto's now.
That shirt is horrible,
undershirt dirty.
How you get ketchup
on your nipple?
Bye.
Anybody else wanna get fired?
- Not me.
I'mma do my thing
coast to coast
- Good afternoon, I'm
Calvin, you Hayes?
My man.
- Yeah, I'm Hayes.
- Can I get you anything to
make the ride more comfortable?
AC, bottle of water, go to
the back, get some loud?
- Did you just offer me drugs?
I'm gonna have to take
two stars off your rating.
- Wait, for real?
- No, I'm just playing.
ATL is dry as dust.
- Yeah, it is.
- Why do you think I'm in
this sketch park right now?
- Let's go to my office.
We are open for business.
This is that sky
high, Mr. Hayes.
You hit this, you're
gonna be staring
at the sky for three
hours like this.
- On the contrary, that is bunk.
- You just gonna
disrespect me like that?
- I've seen pocket
lint that's better.
- Well go on and smoke
your pocket lint, then.
Go on and smoke your pocket
lint with your rude ass.
'Cause you ain't
hurting my hustle.
Just my feelings.
Get out my car, Mr. Hayes.
- Really?
- Nah, I'm just
playing.
You could've bought
some weed, though.
- Every time.
Hello sir, may I
borrow your shirt?
I'll give it right back, dog.
- Roger?
Hey, it's Alicia,
from high school?
- Yo, yeah.
Wow, you look amazing,
like Angela Rye amazing,
like Jemele Hill amazing.
- Okay.
- You look good.
- I was going for Taylor Rooks,
but I'll give you
points for trying.
- Good looking.
- So, how have you been?
What are you doing here?
- Trying to get a
loan for my business.
- In that shirt?
That's a raggedy-ass shirt,
you look like you did a
little army crawl to get here.
- It's a long story.
- Yeah?
Wish I had time to hear it.
This is my boss, I gotta go.
It was good seeing you.
I'll see you later.
- Aight, shy business lady.
Where are you, cuz?
We got our meeting at the bank.
- Oh baby, that feels so good.
Are you smashing right now?
- No, boy, I'm making
mashed potatoes.
- Yo whatever man,
just hurry up, dog.
- Bitch, I told you
to get off the phone.
Your stroke ain't
even that good.
- So your company
name is Too Smack'd?
- Yep, it's an app where you
deliver snacks to stoners.
- Do you have any collateral?
Something, you know, of value
that could guarantee the loan.
- Oh, yeah.
Check these out.
These are good as cash.
I got Waffle House,
man, this has like 6.50.
I got a IHOP, I
got a Jiffy Lube,
I have like four or five on it.
That's good, right?
Man, I can't never count on
you for nothing, never ever.
- Listen, stop
pressing me, okay?
I told you I was cooking.
Oh, green eggs and ham.
- Man, shut up, man.
Yo, we missed out on a
bank loan 'cause you did.
You really need to tighten up.
- Yes, and just because we cuz,
that doesn't mean
I got to help you.
- You stay in my mama basement
for free, what you mean?
- You stay in your
mama basement.
- It's my mama!
- It's my auntie.
Yeah, fool.
- Ha ha, well, well, well.
Two brokest,
mustiest boys I know.
Through here stankin',
messing up the community.
What's up Calv, you
here for the re-up?
- Hell no, I can't even give
your dirty ass weed away.
- Whoa.
- Count your blessing,
this is the only weed in town.
I had to mix
that with oregano.
- Basil and cilantro.
- Talking about my weed,
what's wrong with him?
- You got me looking stupid.
- Hey, Big Bang can't make
nobody look like nobody.
Big Bang only make Big
Bang look like Big Bang.
You got you looking stupid.
You know who I am?
You know who grass you on?
You know who almost
property this is?
If it wasn't for
the city owning it,
you know who would own this?
Big Bang.
- Big Bang.
- You know why they
call me Big Bang?
You know why, do you remember
why they call me Bing Bang?
- 'Cause you the
spark that started it all.
- Say it like it's the
Pledge of Allegiance.
- 'Cause you the spark--
'Cause you the spark
that start it all
- Hey, hey, I ain't got
no record deals over here.
- Come on, man.
- You trying to get signed?
Only thing I sign is
death certificates.
You hear what I'm saying?
Everybody know I started it all.
This trap house right
here was a regular house,
and then I had them build
it into a trap house.
It was nice and I said, why
it look so nice out here,
tear it up, break it down.
This trap house is a monument.
- Monument.
- Commemorating washed
up drug dealers.
- Washed up?
Heard your bitch ass got fired.
- How you know that?
- I know everything, I
knew before you got fired.
You wanna come work for me,
I got a grill right here.
I got a grill for
him to come work on.
I'mma fire you too.
I'mma let you work half a
day, then you outta here.
All these rappers out here,
talking they been trapping.
They ain't been trapping.
2 Chainz, there
wasn't no 2 Chainz.
He had no chains on.
I gave him one chain one day,
next day I seem him
again there go another.
He's like, I'm 2 Chainz.
I smoked out with a dude
named Mark Zuckerberg.
Smoked him out, he was like,
I can't even feel my face.
What he do?
Make Facebook after that.
I introduced Jay-Z to Beyonce.
I introduced Whitney to Bobby.
But it was a time when
they needed each other,
and then things--
- Man, we don't got
time for this, man.
- What you got time for?
You wanna work?
Hey yo, Roger.
- What?
- Remember Alby.
- What you talking about?
- I'll be at your
mama house later.
- Aight look, right,
check this out.
- Nope, next, mm-mm.
Look at her, cuz.
She built like Big Bird.
- Are you body shaming, bro?
How you gonna be
broke and picky?
- Look, let me
show you something.
Show you how a player I
am, I'mma DM her, right.
- She read it, but.
- Man, how she gonna
leave me on read, man.
She ain't even that cute anyway.
She needs to stop skipping
leg day with her little ugly.
Roger, what was that?
- Nothing, Mom.
- Do I have
to get out of my chair?
- No, Mama, stay in your chair.
- All right
then, I'll stay in my chair.
- What is that?
Hey, look at this.
Get back, fool.
- Grab that.
- All right.
- What's that?
- Some kinda weed bible.
Look like instructions
for growing
some kinda super
weed or something.
- Yeah, that's good,
but we need to smoke
the blunt that's on
front of it here.
- We don't know what that do.
- Who cares, Roger,
don't nobody care.
It's better than the
twigs we been smoking.
- That's true.
- Race you.
What, huh?
- Yo, what is happening?
- Oh, one, two, three.
I'm glad that's over with.
- The hell just happened, man?
- I'm freaking out man, we
must be back on the west side.
- Somebody's coming, man.
- Oh shit, Roger, I
forgot to tell you this.
I had a dream last week and
this is how we both die.
- Who the hell are you?
- Yeah, identify
yourselves right now.
Wait a minute, are we supposed
to have helmets 'cause
y'all got helmets?
- No, we just hot boxing.
They look fly, don't they?
- Where are we?
- You just smoked
yourself a one-way ticket
to a player's party.
- Players party.
- Who are you?
- It don't matter who I am.
- That's right.
- It only matters what I know.
- Tell 'em.
- That is the gas.
The loud pack.
- That loud pack, ha ha.
- I ain't never seen
nothing like that
in them little
projects y'all hang in.
- Never.
- This is so beautiful,
I just need a minute, y'all.
- Is this heaven?
- Does this look like
heaven to you, fool?
Y'all wouldn't
make it in anyway.
- Why are we here?
- Y'all found the
Weed Bible, right?
- Right?
- Yeah but,
what do we do with it?
- Goodness.
- Learn how to grow some weed?
- Duh!
- This book could
change human history
and obviously you
both been chose.
- Both of you.
- I knew I was special,
I knew it.
- Too soon, way too soon.
- Let me learn you
little fellas something.
- Learn 'em something.
- Marijuana's been
around since B.C.
- You know what that is?
- Before crack, sure have.
- It's before Christ,
man, before Christ.
- I got the before
part right, though.
- Now that that
y'all call loud,
we have another name for.
It was called sinsemilla.
- Sinsemilla.
Give 'em something else.
- Acapulcoco.
- Give 'em something else.
- Kush.
- Give 'em another.
- The purple.
And this right here my
friend, is the ultimate bud.
It's gorgeous.
- It smells like angel farts.
- Farts of an angel.
- What's it called?
- It's called...
- I wonder how you spell that.
- You smoke it, you
don't spell it, dummy.
- Now this weed right
here will give you
supernatural ability to fight
off evil, dangerous things.
Make sure you protect
this bible with your life.
- Your life, you heard him.
- Come on.
- Go on, hit 'em one time.
- Hell, what year is it?
Who am I?
- Bruh, I feel like the universe
just twerked on my face.
That weed is evil.
Let's hit it again.
- I feel you, but
wait, that's how
we can get our money,
cuz, with the weed.
- I'm in.
- Think about it, we
try and get loans,
ain't nobody gonna give
dudes like us a shot.
- I'm in.
- Ain't no weed
in town right now.
- I'm in.
- And if we grow
this, we can sell it
and make enough money
to start our business.
- Bitch, didn't I
tell you I'm in?
And you not listening, I'm in.
I am in, in.
Damn, cuz, I been selling
weed, I'm just bad at it.
Look, I'm tired of being broke
and I'm tired of staying
in your mama basement.
- What
wrong with my basement?
- Ma, stop listening.
- Then stop
badmouthing my basement.
- I'm sorry, Auntie.
Girl, you know I
love your basement.
I love everything you do for me.
- All
right then, Calvin.
- Let's grow.
Dance with my dogs in
the nighttime, woof
Trap, with the
chickens like Popeye's
Money changing
colors like tie-dye
I'm just tryna get
it, I ain't tryna die
She got a big ol' onion
booty, make the world cry
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
Hold them bands down
Hold your mans down
Who told you
come around, who
Get that trap sound
Designer clothes,
fashion shows
Trap house made of gold
Control the bag now
No need to brag now
And put the mask down
We livin' fast now
Finest, finest grows
We can go, coast to coast
Watchin' me whip up,
still be real and famous
Dance with my dogs
in the nighttime
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
Keep watchin' me whip up,
still be real and famous
Dance with my dogs
in the nighttime
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
In the kitchen, wrist twistin'
like a stir fry, whip it
In the kitchen, wrist
twistin' like a stir fry, woof
- Hell no, man.
- All that work for nothing.
- Waste of damn time, cuz.
- Hell.
Oh hell naw.
What goin' on, cuz?
We gon' be rich.
We'd like another chance
to win your business, okay?
Now, we done upgraded
our product line.
Roger, show him what we got.
- Damn, man.
- Exactly.
- That's what
I'm talking about.
- This ain't just any weed.
We like to think of ourselves
as the Apple of weed.
We're about to be in
everybody's pocket.
- See this right here,
it's all the case.
When you're tryna to turn up--
- Turn up.
- Turn down--
- Turn down.
- Turn your life around.
We ain't trying to pull up.
- Pull up.
- Pull out.
- Pull out.
- Or maybe pull over.
- Stop!
- Oh, damn.
- I think you oh damned
a little too early.
Okay, okay, we gotta do this.
You gotta record this, 'bout
to get this on WorldStar.
Landscape, fool, you
gotta catch everything.
Hey man, y'all better
watch where y'all going.
- You were at a stop sign.
- Yeah, it was my homeboy fault.
- What, let me
tell you something,
you never apologize, okay?
There's three rules of living.
Rule number one,
never apologize.
Rule number two,
you never give out
your government name, okay?
Rule number three,
you never throw out
cups that get free refills.
- What?
- I'm gonna snap you in
half, you little punk.
My boss is gonna be really,
really upset about this.
- Nobody give a damn
about your boss.
Your boss can kiss my ass.
Is that Lil Baby?
- That's Lil Baby.
- What the hell going on man,
y'all see this big ass boat
in front of y'all, man?
- Wait, wait, wait.
What if I offered you a truce?
- A truce, man, I don't
need to do truces.
- Nah, we made it
man, it's good .
- I'll tell you if it good
or not, lemme see.
- What, what are you doing?
Gonna get your ass kicked.
- Shut up, look.
You see, look again.
All right.
- Hey man, I ain't gonna lie
man, that's some good .
- I told you.
- Good , that
strong or what.
What the hell we doing
right here, anyway.
- Y'all hit us, Lil Baby, you
wail-wail-wailed the .
He wailed it.
- Um, we hit your car
on accident.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on,
y'all talking about
this right here?
- Accident.
- Man, I ain't even trippin',
don't even worry about it, man.
- For real?
- Yeah, it'd be a shame to be
upset on such a beautiful day.
- We gonna get some
fries, let's ride.
- Well, I'll be damned.
- I told you.
- Yo, why you still recording?
Don't nobody wanna see no video
of some guys becoming friends.
- Man, you don't get it, do you?
We supposed to fight those dudes
but the weed made us get along.
- That was incredible.
I mean, I've never
seen weed do that.
This stuff has superpowers.
- Exactly.
- You know what?
We about to own this town.
Everybody finna be a superhero.
Let's go!
Nobody got it like we
got it, who you foolin'
- My car
won't start, goddammit.
Business is booming and
everyone want a Porsche
Now I can't find my
wallet, no more contortion
Can't tell me nothing,
I been making a fortune
- Lou, how can I help you?
- I mean, I wanna enjoy
my job, but I hate kids.
- Got the perfect thing for you.
Business is booming,
money be moving
We don't be losing,
what y'all be doing
Business is booming,
money be moving
Nobody sleeping on the
job, got me snoozin'
- Come on, for real?
- Come on.
- Yo, what's up OG?
- All the goddamn
people on the spot,
all up in my goddamn smoke
box on my grill, man,
goddamn running crazy, boy.
You know what I'm talking 'bout?
- I don't know what he said,
just show him the weed, man.
Hope you ready
for the boom now
All of my partners is busy
- Roger, we are
turning the block up, baby.
Told you it was gonna work.
We 'bout to get some money
Hands in the bag like
I'm holding both jokes
Business is booming
- No one talks to me.
I think it's because
I'm the only white kid
at a historically black college.
- Nah, you just lame as hell.
You gotta loosen up, brother.
- I just want people
to see the chill,
charismatic me, not
this anxious mess.
- You so anxious
but this the weed
that's gonna calm you down.
Nobody got it like we
got it, who you fooling
Business is booming,
money be moving
We don't be losing,
what y'all be doing
- Over here, this
is where rich people live.
- Who the
hell gave him the key.
- Now Quenton, you
know I have to know
how dreadful was that
outfit she had on?
- Honey, it was ugly
and it was an outfit.
- What did you say to Portia?
- None of your damn business.
- What you mean,
none of my business?
- What I said.
Ladies.
- Uh-uh, he's messy.
- He's acting real funny.
- Man, when I tell you these
bitches are wearing me out.
- We got what you need.
Take a whiff of that.
- Ooh, I'mma try, let you
know how this work out.
I'mma go live my
best life with this.
- Yeah.
Blood, sweat, and tears
running dry, need a donor
Hands in the bag like
I'm holding both joke
Business is booming
- I don't give a damn who--
- Get on
over here, Quenton.
- Get in here.
- Get your ass over here, boy.
- Open me up, cuz.
- How much we got?
- About this much.
- Aight.
- I mean, this town so dry,
we're finna be
making all the money.
I'm talking baby wipes instead
of toilet tissue money.
I'm talking brand new car money.
I'm talking getting yourself
out your mama basement money.
- What's
wrong with my basement?
- Damn, she got some good ears.
- 'Cause you're so damn
loud, man, come on, man.
- You know I love
your basement, Auntie.
We been getting
all the money
All the money
Oh damn.
- Aw damn, our
super weed is gone.
They got the bible too, cuz.
- Damn.
ere's our ?
- Boy you better slow down,
run up on my side
house like that.
You wanna come around the front,
you wanna address me properly.
Come up talking
their broken knees,
act like they having a
Cracker Jack or something.
- Did you see somebody
go in my house?
- Did I see somebody what?
Do I look like
the house watcher,
or Big Bang the watchdog?
No, I watch no goddamn house.
I've just been
sitting with Co-Sign
and these beautiful ladies,
and this dude I don't know,
looking at that cloud up
there shaped like the booty.
It's amazing.
- Ain't nobody worry
about that, man.
Somebody went in my house
and stole our whole stash.
- See, that's what happens.
Look at you, just
decide you wanna
sell weed and
start selling weed.
Can't just do that,
you can't just sit down
at the dinner table and start
eating without praying, boy.
You probably got ghetto taxed.
Probably, that ghetto tax real.
- You took it?
- Did I say I knew
anything about it?
I'm just saying, maybe things
like this wouldn't happen
if you showed Big
Bang some respect.
- Respect, respect, here you
go talking about respect.
- Yeah, like Aretha.
- Bro, that's all you
ever talk about.
Yo, we don't owe
you nothing, bro,
this man act like he
invented selling weed.
- I'm telling you.
- Ain't nobody else invent
selling weed but me.
I been trapping since before
trapping was trapping, aight?
That's what I do.
You ever heard of Selma?
- Yeah, I heard of Selma.
- Yeah, that's why
they call it Selma.
I used to sell my
weed down there.
They was marching for that,
and other things important
in the black community,
but we was part of it.
- Yo man, we get it,
you old as hell, bro,
but where's our weed at?
- Who you calling old,
you seen my outfit?
Boy, I'm fresher than zest.
Boy, I'm so fresh, people
don't say, take a shower.
They say, take a Big Bang.
Lemme tell you what
y'all should do.
If I was y'all,
which I never y'all,
'cause I don't wanna
be standing there
looking up at Big
Bang like, please,
Big Bang, help us,
who stole our weed?
If I was y'all,
this is what I'd do.
Search around, you're looking
in the wrong place right here.
Go down there, ask the
Asian people down there.
You ain't asked them?
The white people over there,
being got all their
windows blacked out.
- We didn't check
the white people.
- You ain't even see, they
go in and out the house.
They could be in there
murdering people.
I'm not saying that
they stole anything,
'cause that would be racist.
I'm just saying, check the,
what you do is check
the high school.
Oh, them high boys down
there, they got no respect.
All they looking for
is somebody to get.
They got the face all day.
Maybe they got your .
- Is that a booty cloud?
- No, look more to the left.
- Damn, booty cloud.
- That's
the booty cloud, woo!
- Yo man, why you wearing
that stupid-ass hat?
- What's wrong with it?
I used to wear it
back in the day.
You gotta understand,
cuz, we gotta blend in.
Come on now, gotta trust me.
- Come on, man.
- Come on, twizzler head.
Students, please report
to the buses for the Verdant
Biokinetic field trip.
- Aight, now check this out.
We looking for kids
with clean kicks,
'cause that mean
they stole our stash.
- Bet you they did,
I bet you they did.
Oh snap, it's McMullen.
- Yup, McMullen.
- Oh, I did not know he was
still the principal here.
- He is.
- He can't see me.
Can't see me.
You know he's still mad at me.
- You know why.
- Bro, it was a senior prank.
- Man, you smashed his wife.
- On his desk.
- While the PA was on.
- Oh, I'mma be on
the honor roll now.
- What the!
- Can I get, a swirl.
It's a souvenir.
- I hate that hat.
- Listen, the kid
has gotta wear pants,
that's not up for debate.
Coochie king.
Oh, it's on.
- Hey man, why is it so quiet?
- Like, don't nobody
wanna skip class, man.
Yo, Wesley Snipes.
- Oh my god.
- Damn, what happened, skirt?
- Poor kid.
Oh my god, what your face?
- Goddamn, these kids.
Oh.
Come on, man, we're
about to get robbed.
You don't wanna
rob us, we broke.
- Would you mind taking
our picture, sir?
- Huh?
- We just got a A
on a science project and
we wanna text our mom.
- Take a picture?
- They kids, man.
- Don't you ever reach for
your damn jacket like that,
put your phone in your pocket.
I almost knocked
y'all the out.
- Sir.
- Yep.
- He called me sir.
- It's the braids,
I done told you.
You smell that?
- Right here, right here.
Pot, we're going in that door
and we gonna get
them punks, come on.
- Yo, Mr. Crandall.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Can we get high?
- You guys scared
the piss outta me.
Why are you not
on the field trip?
- Boy, that boy high as hell.
You don't remember me?
It's Calvin.
- Roger.
- Hold up, lemme do my move.
- Calvin, yes I remember you.
- What's up!
- You graduated?
- I mean, you know, I
walked across the stage.
- You walked, yeah for sure.
- I was there, you know.
- So what's up?
- We got a little neighborhood
business that, you know,
me and my cousin have
started up, right, you know,
'cause we trying to
change our life around,
'cause I graduated, right?
Some of our business
supplies have been misplaced
and it was brought
to our attention
that some of the people who
might have misplaced them,
they probably go to this school,
so we just wanted to say
hey, you know, speak to 'em.
- So you guys are dealers?
Somebody copped your product.
- The whole stash, man,
they took the whole thing.
And this smells rather familiar.
We was wondering if
you could help us
find out where you got
it, 'cause you know,
it's kinda hard to
come by now, you know?
- You're telling me.
Dealers all over town
are completely sold out.
It's like somebody's
buying in bulk.
Open a friggin' chronic Costco.
Found this canister
earlier in the cafeteria.
I haven't seen it before,
but let me tell you,
it is dank as fudge.
- I smelled it.
- What he say?
- I don't know.
- This smell like angel
farts, this is our stuff.
- Looks like Russians,
talk to Ivanov.
They're in the Magic
Kitty, strip club downtown.
- Russians steal everything.
They done stole our election
and done stolen our weed.
- Calvin, I know
you're in the building.
I found your hat.
If I find you, my friend,
you're going down hard.
- Told you not to wear
that stupid hat, man.
- It's my favorite hat, cuz.
- Sounds like you guys
need this more than I do.
- I do, 'cause I'm going down.
- You homewrecker!
- Here you go.
- Come on, man, grab me some.
The gym, gym.
- Dang.
- I told you if you ever
stepped foot in
this school again
I'd beat you senseless.
- How's our wife?
- That super weed made
you fly, cuz.
Dunked on your ass.
Uh-oh, what's going on?
- Come on, man.
- What happened?
What happened to my power?
- Out of the
way, move, move, move.
Calvin!
Damn it.
- That was crazy.
That weed got us high for real.
You always got me doing
- Can't believe we alive, cuz.
- Man, get your ass up, man.
- Time to go to the strip club.
Man, can't believe
I lost my hat again.
- Perfect.
- Alicia?
Yo.
- Roger?
- What's up?
- Hey.
- Ha, ha.
- This is my--
- Sorry, I got bugs in my mouth.
My name's Calvin.
- Cousin Calvin.
Anyways, this is where you work?
- Yeah.
- It's dope.
- So are you guys with the kids?
- We um, volunteer chaperone
at the school sometimes.
- Uh, people left their
kids with you guys?
- Yeah.
- What about that?
- I'm just playing.
All right, you guys are
gonna get the full tour,
and don't fall asleep
like you used to in class.
All right guys, my
name's Alicia Harmon
and this is Verdant Biokinetics,
so let's start with my
favorite part of the tour,
employee lounge where there's
free soda and snacks, come on.
- What is you doing?
We ain't got no time
for no full tour.
We ain't got time
for no drinks, Roger.
You forgot, we go to
strip club, the Russian?
- Yo, the booty
club gonna be there.
You see that lady up there?
Yo, just let me
finesse this real quick
and it's gonna be all good.
Plus, she said there's free
soda, so we all Gucci be good.
- Don't nobody give a damn
about no drinks, Roger.
You know what, they better
have liters in there
'cause you sound
thirsty as hell.
- Man, shut up.
- Founded in 2013,
Verdant Biokinetics
makes everything
from rocket biofuel
to nutrient-dense baby formula.
- Well, I hope they don't mix up
the baby formula
and the rocket fuel.
Babies gonna be blowing
up all over town.
- We're working to
improve the mind,
the body, and the world.
- Hello.
- Oh, and look, there's
our CEO, Miss Ana Cheever.
- Hey, everyone,
sorry to interrupt.
I just want to
say how happy I am
that you're all here
today to be part
of our inner city
youth outreach program.
Alicia is helping us to be
a fully woke corporation.
- Woke?
- You're all so brave
and so beautiful.
You have such bright,
bright futures ahead of you.
And just remember,
don't do drugs.
Unless, of course, they're
one of ours.
I'm kidding, I am kidding.
- Thank you for
that, Miss Cheever.
Let's give it up for her.
- This lady is wack.
I'm finna go find me a
place to smoke, I'm out.
- Why don't we head
into our VR room,
where you guys can fly with bees
through real honeycombs, yeah?
- Access granted.
- You figure it out?
- Oh yeah, you know,
I'm math as hell.
Yo, so, what
happened to the tour?
- I left them in the auditorium
with a science movie,
so you know, they're probably
all diddling each other by now.
- I like science movies.
- I bet you do.
- What's up with your boss like,
crying about the inner city
kids, dressing like Erykah Badu.
Is she like, serious?
- Yeah, she means well,
but she can just be
a real line-crosser.
That woman stresses me out.
- Word, yo, when I get
like that, yo, I get high.
Yo, I actually got some,
if you wanna smoke?
- I stopped smoking in college.
- For real?
Like, you never smoke?
- I guess, I don't know,
I just started
focusing on my career.
- I feel that, I'm all
about my paper too,
but yo, I gotta smoke,
like I gotsta stay high.
- Well, you're cute,
so you can do that.
See, this is what I'm talking
about, the CEO needs me.
- I'll be here if
you change your mind.
- Shouldn't you
be with the kids?
- Kids, kids.
- Roger, it's this way.
- I knew that.
- Uh-huh.
- Nobody in here.
Time to smoke my blunt.
Ooh, that too hard.
Nobody.
- Help me, help me.
- Want me to help you?
Let me take your picture.
- Now, come on here.
- Why you so strong?
Get off, I can walk.
- Yo, what's going on?
- Ain't none of
your business, sir.
- It is my business,
he's with me.
- Well then you need
to come with me, too.
Come on, now.
- You snitch.
You're stupid.
- Come on, man, damn.
- Fye is causing
some side effects.
- This is very, very bad.
These results are horrendous.
- Well, should we
delay the launch?
- No, absolutely not, our
stock price would plummet.
- Ow.
- Try it, man.
- Sorry to interrupt.
- What is it?
- I found these two
wandering around the halls
and this gentleman was
in a restricted area.
- Who you calling a gentleman?
I am not not gentleman,
I am a grown man.
- What's going on?
- These two claim to
be with the high school
but none of the other chaperones
has ever heard of 'em.
They say they're with you?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
Yep, I'm taking
them to lunch today.
They're actually
community leaders.
- Oh, community
leaders, wonderful.
- Calvin, Roger.
- Yeah, it's Officer Community
Leader Calvin at that.
And Obama was a
community leader.
- I miss Obama.
- He was a deacon at his church.
- We're gonna go.
- Take them to Chez Jane,
it's the best soul
food in Atlanta.
It's on us.
- He only liked brown
M&M's, did you know.
- Thank you so much,
love you brothers.
know what I'm saying,
giving us a ride
back to the whip and all that.
- Are you kidding
me, you just gave me
an excuse to get
out of the office.
Let's go get that lunch
I just lied about.
- Uh-uh, we ain't
got time, ma'am.
We're kinda in a rush.
Have you ever eaten
at Magic Kitty?
- Yo, he's kidding.
We should go to
Zaxby's or something.
- Well if you want the best
wings, you go to Magic Kitty.
Let's go see some booty.
- Okay but look, there's a
reason we gotta go, okay?
- We gotta go see some
Russian gangsters, okay?
They stole our weed and we
ain't really got a plan.
And you can die.
- Okay, well as long
as I'm not eating
a boring-ass salad
bowl at the mall,
I'm down for whatever,
Calvin, let's go.
- You said you
want a ride or die.
So that's what we're into,
people that just wanna die?
If you a bad chick, let
me hear you say, yeah
Little booty, big
booty don't care
You got your own
car or your own crib
You said he calling but
you leave him on read
Just sway wit
it, sway wit it
Kinda geeked up, sway wit it
You see him
looking, sway wit it
Sway wit it, sway wit it
Met a dude named Wes, said
he checking for the best
- Sup baby, you wanna dance?
- No, I don't really want no
dance right now, maybe later.
But I know what you can
help me with, though.
You know where I
can find Ivanov?
- Sorry, I'm working.
- You working, oh but
you can't find Ivanov?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I know what
you're looking for.
- Where the hell my weed at?
- I got no need for your weed,
'cause I got so much
money it's funny.
I got money.
Popcorn playa.
- Nigga just made it rain on me.
- These wings are so good.
- These breasts and
thighs are good, too.
- Woo, go girl.
- Now that ain't
courtship right there.
I hit the hundreds, cuz.
- Hey, buddy.
- Uh-uh, I told you
I ain't want no dance.
- I heard you're
looking for Ivanov.
- Yes, and tell him
when you see him
I need to talk to him,
the boss is here.
- He is not a he.
- What you
talkin' 'bout, blondie?
- I am Ivanov, Irena Ivanov.
Let's go.
- Y'all heard
the Terminator,
we gotta get the
hell up outta here.
Let's go see what
she's talking about.
- Okay, let's hear it.
Why are you coming in here
and disrespecting my business?
- No, what's disrespectful
is you're stealing our weed
and passing it off
like it's your own.
- Calm down, Calvin.
- No, ain't no calm down, cuz.
I'mma calm down when y'all
give us our weed back.
- We don't steal weed.
You are wasting my time.
Bogdan, get rid of them.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not
here to cause any trouble.
- No, Alicia, ain't nobody
scared of Thievin' Seagal.
You hear me, I'm about to
go left and right like a--
- Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
What if I offered
you guys a truce?
Y'all like smoking weed, right?
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
Now we do business.
Hey, this is my design.
- Your design?
- This college kid, he
come into my tattoo shop.
He say, "I want cool
Russian tattoo."
But this guy, so
I designed weak dick.
He must like, he
put on weed jar.
- And what's the
name of this kid?
- I don't know, but he have
red-black sweatshirt
with pussy on it.
Pussy cat.
- South Atlanta
College, right, yeah.
- I think we're going
to school after all.
- You're not going anywhere.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- What's going on here?
- We give you good information,
now you give me something.
I want her.
- Me?
- You are classy hot,
not like other girls.
I want to see you dance.
- I would
like to see her, too.
- You work for me now.
- We need a plan.
We gotta get up
outta here, y'all.
- Calm
down, I got this.
- Your girl done did this
before, yes she have.
- Man, shut up, dog.
- Go Alicia!
- Irena, Irena!
- Damn.
- Run!
- You crazy, the hell rose you?
Come on, y'all.
- Let's go.
- What is you doing?
- Come on!
- Let's go!
Girl, what was you
doing in there?
- You said
we needed a plan!
- We didn't say kick
the Russian in the head.
- Ooh, damn, girl.
- Yo, I just feel
like, we've been such
a bad influence on you,
you know what I'm saying?
Like, if you need
to get back to work
or whatever you were doing,
me and my cousin, really,
we got it from here.
- I can't go, I literally
can't go back to work today.
I'm high as hell.
- Which one of these students
do you think smoke weed?
- All these kids smoke weed,
you're gonna have
to talk to them.
Just gotta know
what to say, watch.
Football players, which one
of y'all got that weak dick?
Damn.
I didn't name it.
I didn't name it!
- All right, it can't be
that hard to find a kid
who smokes weed on
a college campus.
- I think I know somebody.
- Uh-uh, follow my cuz.
- Well, well, well, if it
ain't Robbin' and Stealin'.
- Nah, it's Meegan and Steffi.
- Oh, hey, Zesto's,
what's up?
- Oh.
- Sorry about what
happened the other night.
- Hey, didn't
you get our apology joint?
- Yeah, I got it,
and I got fired.
But it don't even
matter right now,
y'all need to tell me right
now, who sells this weed?
- Right now.
- We don't smoke weed.
- Are you serious?
You're gonna tell
me that right now?
With a straight face, after
we just smoked a pound
in the back of your
Benz the other night?
It was, they made me
do it, it was weird.
- Boy you ain't got
to explain yourself,
stop acting like that.
- I know, I just--
- He smoke weed.
Listen here, chocolate,
vanilla, stop playing.
Where's our weed?
'Cause if you don't tell
us where our weed at,
Alicia here gonna kick
y'all ass, ain't that right?
- Mm-hmm, yup, yup.
You don't wanna, ha.
Don't test me, I
already drop-kicked
one little goofy bird
today, just like that.
- She don't look crazy.
- Yeah, you ain't
scaring nobody.
Those pants are from J.Crew,
I wore them to a bar mitzvah.
- Oh, okay, all right.
- Uh-oh.
- Oh.
- Look here.
- Okay, okay, okay.
This guy named Tobin, he's
got the best weed these days.
- It makes you feel like Beyonce
riding a horse like, bareback.
- But I heard he's
like, huge and scary,
so I wouldn't mess with
him if I were you guys.
- Don't nobody care
about that, okay?
I know krav maga, you
hear me, you hear me?
Listen here, y'all ain't
ready for this crane.
- So uh, where is
this Tobin dude?
- He's sponsoring a
party at Theta tonight,
but y'all can't get in,
it's for frats only.
- Plus you guys, I really
wouldn't mess with him.
He's like, the Soog
Knight of Atlanta.
- Soog Knight?
- You mean Suge?
- Whatever.
- Ooh, y'all gotta stop
watching black movies, okay?
'Cause you're ing
up the culture.
- It's like the same thing.
- It's okay.
- Come on, girl, damn.
Boy you got a problem
better figure it out
All you selfie-taking naked
gotta watch your mouth
I'm just a Midwest player
with some balls from the south
- Ooh, this thing lit.
Oh, they let everybody in here,
okay, I see what's happening.
- Where you think we
gonna find the Tobin dude?
- I don't know, we
gotta split up, baby.
I think I'm gonna go that way.
Ladies!
You ever met a guy who been
to another dimension, okay?
Ham, bank just dropped,
I'm about to go ham
Pretty and the fly
when they see me go ham
Shittin' too hard
for the radio
I'm about to go ham
Ham, bank just dropped
I'm about to go ham
- Damn, I should've
went to college, ooh.
What's up, baby?
Yes, yes, lady.
Can one of you ladies
help me find Tobin?
Tobin, no?
Ooh, girl, that's why your
wig stinks, don't do that.
- Hey my man, who you with?
- Oh, I'm looking for my boy
Tobin, you know where he at?
Tobin!
- I ain't ask you all that.
It's a private
party, who you with?
- Oh, who I'm with, I'm
from another chapter.
Minnesota, mm-hmm.
Theta all day, baby.
Theta all day.
- Hell
yeah, Theta all day.
Theta all day, baby, okay.
We 'bout to step, we
down a man, hop in.
- No, I got asthma,
I can't really--
- Hop in, bro.
- Let me go use the bathroom.
- Hey yo, we got one.
- Okay, later, later.
- So, you got a man?
- Roger, do you really think
I'd be here if I had a man?
- Yo, I'm just asking.
- I love this song,
let's go dance.
- Don't kick me in the head.
Who told you you could
walk in here like that
Who told you you could
light up this room like that
Who told you you could kill
all these girls like that
And every time they here you
know you got that kickback
So you somebody, somebody
Ooh you somebody, somebody
Ooh you somebody, somebody
Must be somebody, yeah yeah
- Uh-uh man,
what y'all doing?
Come on, get off me, brother.
I ain't come here for that.
- Yeah.
- Right now,
this is where you wanna go?
- I got it,
I got the wing, girl.
All right, I cover y'all back.
I'll be in the back.
Oh, you people are crazy.
- Theta
flip, Theta flip!
- Come on bro, Theta
flip, let's go, I got you.
- I got asthma,
don't make me flip.
It ain't good for my heart.
- Theta
flip, Theta flip!
Theta flip, Theta flip!
Ow!
I'm good.
- Damn.
- No harm, no foul,
all right, I'm okay.
- It's our founding
brother's ashes.
- You said it's who?
- Our founding
brother's ashes, man!
- I got dead people all over me.
- Yo, that ain't no damn Theta.
Stomp that bitch.
- Move, they're trying
to kill me, move.
Let's find somewhere to hide.
Oh yeah, let's hide in here.
Can I join y'all?
- Come on.
- Oh.
- Oh.
That is wrong.
- You just need Jesus.
- Come on, cuz.
Get back here, punk.
- Where they
at, where they at?
Check all the rooms.
- Man, I told you, stay low.
Now what we supposed to do,
tell me how we're supposed
to find Tobin now.
Hey yo, let's go see
if Tobin got any more of
that killer weed, man.
- See, I told you
we gonna be straight.
Yep, that's our weed.
- It's
a security breach.
Some scrawny dude with no
dance skills and his friends.
- Scrawny dude,
I'll fight that--
- Wait a minute,
can't just go in there
all maniac style like that.
We need to have a plan first.
What weed we got left?
- We ain't got no
damn weed, Roger.
We ain't nothing but shake.
- Hold up, remember
when we was kids
and we had no weed then,
we snuck up on my mom,
take all the little roaches
and shake, put it together,
and make a super joint.
- I see what you're going for.
It's Captain Planet.
- Call on him.
- Let's do it.
- Mr. Planet sir,
we call on you today
because we need your
help more than ever.
We was wondering if
you could slide down
and help us out with
some of that good-good.
- He ain't pick up,
hang up the phone.
- Leave a message.
- Come on, let's go.
- Thank you, brother.
- That's it, bro.
- Are you guys okay?
- It's
part of the process.
Trust me.
- Goddammit.
I'm okay, I'm all right.
- Damn fool.
- All right,
now everybody be cool,
don't nobody make a move.
- Y'all didn't have to
kick the door in, man.
It was open.
- Boy, if you don't get your
Missy Elliott-body-having
ass out, boy I mow your ahh buh.
I'm talking about
big top, little leg.
Look at him, you should've
joined a sorority,
'cause you know why, you got
Titties
- Get his ass.
- Boy look at you, you got
a check on your forehead.
I bet your tattoo artist
in the third grade.
Good check, ugly.
- Get his ass.
We didn't come here to play.
- Right.
- Where's Tobin?
- Sup, bitches.
- Wait a minute.
- Oh hell no.
- I know you ain't Tobin.
Business is booming,
money be moving
- Give us our weed
back, white boy.
- No, no, I'm not
giving anything back.
I've learned an
important lesson.
That lesson is when
you have amazing weed,
everybody's nice to you.
Even if you're a
nerdy white virgin.
I'm not a virgin,
I've had so much sex.
- No, no, I know
another lesson your ass
about to learn today,
little virgin white boy.
When you steal people's
shit, it's repercussion.
We coming back to cap that ass.
Alicia, whup his ass.
- Wait,
can we not go there again?
- Hell yeah, and
another thing is,
that tattoo you got on your arm?
It actually says weak dick.
- What?
No, no, the tattoo artist
said it meant cool sex guy.
- Oh, sweetie.
- Get the hell out of my party!
Yo, I'm king of this frat now.
- What?
- What?
- What?
- What the hell you just say?
- I'm just, I'm
playing, it's a joke.
- Wait a minute,
everybody shut up.
Everybody pause, stay there.
You know what, I'm
tired of y'all.
We superheroes,
and you know what?
When our superpowers kick in,
Ain't no telling
what we gon' do
You don't wanna see this.
Uh, Roger, what's
your superpower,
'cause I think mine diarrhea.
- What is he doing?
What?
- What happened?
I smell dookie.
- You don't need to
worry about that.
Uh-huh, did y'all see that?
Did you see that, did you
saw that masterpiece, huh?
We ain't playing no games,
no telling what we do
when our powers kick in.
- Yo, that's not our
Weed Bible, look at this.
- Kama
Sutra for Small Men?
- Give me my book back.
- Oh.
- Whoa.
- She be hitting
you from the back?
- That's normal.
- What you got going on, what
kinda fraternity is this?
- Where's our Weed Bible?
- I don't know what that
is, I just bought your weed.
Some dude sold it
to me for cheap.
- What dude?
- I don't know, some dude
going on about a booty cloud.
- Big Bang.
- He can have that.
- Now we smoke our finest
brother's ashes in his memory.
- Thetas.
- Oh.
- I guess smoking dead
people really works.
- What's up, negros?
in downtown Atlanta,
brought to you by Fye.
It's the future of high,
it's Fye, launching tomorrow.
- I know
everybody's excited about that.
- Trap house, there's
so many wonderful things
I could say about you,
but I don't feel like it.
- Big Bang, where's
our Weed Bible?
- What, what you talking about?
- We know you got it,
because Tobin told us.
- So Tobin told you
I had the bible,
so just 'cause Tobin told you
something, you believe Tobin?
- Where the bible at?
- Okay, all right,
yeah, I got it.
All right, I sold him some weed
and I ain't got
none of the rest,
and I ain't got your bible no
more, either, sold that too.
- To who?
- I don't know,
some white people.
White people wanna buy
stuff, you sell it to 'em.
Some company called
- Verdant Biokinetics?
- That, say it again.
- Verdant Biokinetics.
- Yeah, that's them
right there, man.
They were all in
a panic to get it.
They almost ripped my
arm apart, some of 'em.
We all need it, we all need it.
And they paid me a lot of
money, that's how I'm retiring.
Big Bang outta here, ha, bang.
- What would a big tech
lab want with our weed?
- I don't know, they said
they gonna make some like,
smart blunt, that's
what it was called.
Fye, and it was fye,
too, they let me try it.
It was amazing, nice clean burn,
fruity flavors, I
think it's the future.
Although the comedown, it's
a little bad, little shaky,
but hey, more weed
better than no weed,
you know what I'm saying?
And they white people,
why not trust 'em?
- And you ain't know
nothing about this?
- I know they've been developing
something for a while now,
but I don't know what that has
to do with your Weed Bible.
- Grow house, the Weed Bible,
how you even know
about all that?
- Man, I've been banging
your mama for months now.
I saw everything.
- Bro, who up there
smashing yo mama, bro?
- I don't know and I don't
wanna know, man, turn this up.
- Ooh
baby, look at him.
- Turn up the TV, man, come on.
I don't wanna hear that.
- Bang, bang, bang, bang,
bang.
- That was you?
- Man, don't act so surprised.
I done told you a million times.
- I thought those were
just yo mama jokes.
Wait, so, you taught
me how to ride a bike.
It was at my fifth
birthday party.
Are you my daddy?
- Hell no, I ain't
your daddy, boy.
- Thank god.
- Look at me.
- He's got a point,
he got light skin
and you black as hell.
- I was just being nice to you.
That's what you do,
you be nice to the kid
to get close to the mama,
and she let me hit it.
- I heard that.
- Damn, your mama
got some ears on her.
- We know.
- There she is, baby, ha!
So fine walking
down those stairs.
- Hi, baby.
- Hi, baby.
You smell good.
- I know.
Roger, listen, I told Bang to
get your butt out that gang.
- Had to do it.
- And you, ooh.
- Did I do good,
did I do?
- You did good, baby.
Ooh!
- Oh my god.
Mom, I can't unsee
stuff like that.
- Unsee this too.
You want to see it again?
- No, I don't want
to see it ever.
- I got tapes.
You should see the other stuff.
- Bang, why am I still carrying
this darn suitcase?
- I don't know,
but you shouldn't carry
nothing but my heart.
- And where's that whip of yours
you keep telling me about,
it's a quarter past.
- Bang, there it is
right there, look at it.
- Ooh, we done came up, baby.
- Bang ain't playing
no games, got to go.
- Open my door for me, honey.
- I will.
- I'll be back in two weeks.
Don't you drink up
all my Fanta, boy.
Hey Daddy, honey.
- You get in there, sweetie.
- Oh, lemme get in here, ooh.
Get in, baby.
Work that thing, babe.
- Bye, bitches.
We rolling.
- Wow, so that's that.
- So um, this is
where you guys live?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- If Big Bang took
our bible and sold it
to that tech company,
I'm thinking,
let's just go get it back.
I mean, Alicia, you
work there, right?
So I'm sure it's no
problem with getting
the CEO to hear us out, right?
- Well, hold on, guys.
Today's been...
I don't even know what today's
been, but I can't do that.
We're talking about my job
here, my whole career, no.
- So now you're
a corporate girl.
Thought that place
stressed you out.
- Yeah well Roger, no offense,
but you wouldn't
know the first thing
about holding down a job.
- Yeah, I wouldn't know
the first thing, huh.
- I worked my ass off
to get to where I am,
and I put it all on
the line for you today.
- Just 'cause you work
at some big fancy job,
that don't mean you
better than anybody.
I ain't no bum.
- Okay, well why don't you just
say what you really mean, then.
- What I'm saying is,
you look real strange
working for them people
that stole our stuff.
I'm just trying to figure
out what side you're on,
'cause right now you're
looking like the feds.
- Okay, what I'm not
gonna do is this, so bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye!
- Bye.
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
Hell's she saying.
Talking all that,
where you going, cuz?
- I gotta fix this,
cuz, you know that.
- Goddamn.
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey
- Uh-huh, that smells
real familiar, ma'am.
Why aren't you smoking
your little Fye?
- I'm sorry, can I help you?
Oh, you're Alicia's
community guys, supposedly.
- Yeah, and that's our weed.
- Oh, well congratulations.
My complements to the chef.
This is the best
weed I've ever had.
You're doing a service
to your community.
My assistant got
this off the streets,
he got your little
cookbook, too.
So there won't be
any more of this.
- So you got our Weed Bible.
- Through a subcontractor,
so it's all legit.
- Big Bang is not no
damn subcontractor, okay?
He stole that from
us, it's not legit.
- Oh, that sounds
like a you problem.
Sorry, my ride is here.
My assistant, Hayes.
- Hayes, how could you
do this to us, bruh?
- Sorry, bruh, I'm
up for a promotion.
- I should've dropped
your ass home.
- You should've binbied his ass.
- Oh, we didn't
just buy your weed.
We bought everybody's weed
and what we couldn't
buy, we just took.
So the town is thirsty now,
and guess who has the
cool, refreshing answer?
Fye.
- Man, what you know about Fye?
- Oh, well according to
the Urban Dictionary,
fye is slang for fire,
as in, Fye is on fire.
- Yo, I knew all that
woke was fake.
- Who me, fake?
Oh believe me, I am 100% woke.
You should be thanking me,
I did you people a favor.
- You people?
- Fye has all the
benefits of marijuana
while speaking to
the modern consumer.
Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, syncs all
your contacts, and it's legal.
There isn't gonna be a stoner
in Atlanta without one,
and then the rest
of the country.
Dealers go to jail,
but I'm gonna be rich.
- I knew you was a
snake woman, I knew it.
- Damn braids, man.
- Aw, sorry, not sorry.
I have a launch
to get ready for.
Fye is the future of relaxation.
Here gentlemen, try some.
Much love, brothers.
- Fire her ass up.
- Let's go, Hayes.
- Yo man, I just
can't catch a break.
It don't make no sense.
- Man, to be honest,
cuz, forget the weed,
forget the Bible, we might
as well just start over,
get a brand new hustle.
- Nah man, I'm tired of
starting over with you.
It don't work.
We wouldn't even be selling weed
if you would've just
showed up at the bank, dog.
- Man, I been hustling to
help you with your dreams.
I don't give a damn
about no snacks.
I'm just trying to be
a good cousin, bruh.
And you know what, you
gonna stop blaming me
for all your problems that
go wrong in your life, man.
- I know you're not
finna smoke that.
- Oh, this getting smoked.
- Shoot, my
wig goddamn came off.
- Boy, you need to
clean this room up.
- Yo, look at Roger
over here sleeping.
Waste our time, let's get him.
- Baby Powder, what the
hell you doing here?
- We heard about the Bible.
- Mm-hmm.
- I did what you said
but it's gone now.
- It's gone.
- I let y'all down.
- You didn't let us down.
You let the people down.
- The people.
- You screwed up.
I oughta knock the
green juice outta--
- Thanks.
That was helping me a lot,
making me feel better.
- Let me explain
something to you,
see the Europeans--
- School him.
- They took the weed
and they gentrified it.
- The saltine crackers.
- They came in and mixed it up,
put their own bells
and whistles on it,
man, and made it they own.
- You listening?
- And you gotta stop them.
- How?
The weed you gave me
gave me superpowers, man.
Without that, I'm just
a broke-ass stoner.
- Yeah, that's true.
- Boy, that weed
didn't give you no superpowers.
- Boy, you not a
part of the Avengers.
Ain't no Black
Panther up in you.
But he right.
- But how?
I don't understand.
- You were just high.
None of that was real other
than what you was thinking.
- Boy,
just think about it.
- Goddamn!
- That weed
ain't get you no superpowers.
- What the hell's he doing?
- All that other that
you thought was happening,
that wasn't real.
- Duh.
- Yes, you were just high.
- Just high.
- The point is,
it's not the weed,
it's you.
- It's you.
- This is your destiny, boy.
- It's your job Kool-Aid head.
Save the weed.
- Save the weed.
- Save the weed, wait.
Wait, hold up, if the
power wasn't real,
how am I talking to
y'all two right now.
- Oh.
- You not talking to us.
It's all in your imagination.
You're sitting on
the couch high.
You smoked 30 blunts, you bum.
- You bum.
- Come on with it.
Come on, come on.
- Ooh yeah, it's time.
- Come on.
- It's time.
- Yeah.
- Get him.
- Let it fly.
- Ha ha!
- Damn.
- Hey cuz, did a
gorilla in a cowboy hat
come talk to you, too?
- What, no, Baby Powder did.
- What he say?
- He said we need to stop
Ana and save the weed.
What the gorilla say?
- I don't know, he
was speaking Japanese,
but you know what,
Baby Powder is right.
We gotta stop her ASAP, cuz,
'cause I smoked that Fye.
- What happened?
- My body's still acting weird.
- Yo man, we gotta
stop that leech, cuz.
- And there's only one way.
Assemble a team of pot heads.
I'm on a mission
and I won't stop
- Oh, kids, party's over.
My dealer needs me.
Scram.
- Cheers.
- Yes.
- Ooh, I got a text.
Hell no, they trying
to take our weed.
- The hell you got going on?
- Oh, uh-uh.
Look, I'mma holla
at y'all later,
I gotta go, I'll be back, okay?
- Where are you going?
- Baby, be your own
gay best friend, hear?
You only live once
Homies in the back so
we gotta live it up
- , boys, trouble,
that damn weed need me,
I'll be right back.
I'm on a mission now
But it's worth a shot
You gotta let me on
You gotta let me on
You gotta let me on
- Somebody actually needs me.
You gotta let me on
You gotta let me on
You gotta let me on
- Roger.
- Thank for coming out.
- Mm-hmm.
- We really need
your help getting
to the press event tonight.
- Oh, so you just came
here to ask me for help?
You're not gonna
apologize for anything
that you said the other day?
- You called me a bum.
- Actually, you
called yourself that,
but if the shoe fits,
sweetie, wear it.
- Shoe fits.
- Uh-huh.
- Yo, I'm sorry.
Did you know your boss the
one who dried out Atlanta?
- Shh, you know how paranoid
you sound right now?
Maybe you should stop
smoking so much weed.
- I'm serious, she did
it so she could sell
her new weed gadget
without competition.
Yo, Fye is messing people up.
I got the pictures to prove it.
Look, Calvin got these.
These are the Fye test subjects.
I need your help.
- Okay, okay, and
stop, stop, stop.
- Whether
it's stress at work,
the bills piling up,
or the kids driving
you a little crazy,
there's lots of times you
wish you could get high,
but you just can't, until now.
Introducing Fye,
the clean, safe,
totally legal
alternative to weed.
Take it anywhere, from the
beach to the boardroom.
Fye does it all.
There's no more need for weed.
Now, there's Fye.
- Hey, my name is
Blake Johnston,
and when I need that futuristic
high, I smoke that Fye.
- Uh, C.
King, thank you.
- D. Nuhz.
- Now,
please welcome
our founder and
CEO, Ana Cheever.
- All right, thank you, yeah.
All right, all right, yeah.
Did you like what you saw?
You like it?
Okay, okay.
Marijuana is a problem
in our community,
and making weed legal
is not the solution,
but replacing it with
something better, cleaner,
and safer is a solution,
and we've done just that.
And it is Fye.
- All the weed in Atlanta
is hidden somewhere
in this building and
we gotta find it.
- Don't even trip, I
already got somebody on it.
- My cousin.
- Attack your ass.
- Now, when I
started my company
back in my dorm at my
women's liberal arts college
where I studied--
- Uh, get your ass
back, thanks.
- Let's do this.
- You got it, babe.
- Babe?
She called me babe,
she called me babe.
- I heard, I heard.
- Other than that,
my vision never--
Technology bring
the world together.
Oh, that is not part
of the presentation.
Technical difficulties.
Can we get this fixed, please?
- Thanks, Ana.
Hi everyone, my name is Calvin
and this here is
my cousin, Roger.
- Uh my mic, can you get
my mic back on, please?
- And we came here
today to stop Verdant
from destroying
one of the greatest
American institutions,
marijuana.
- Can we get security
up here, please?
- Check it out.
I don't believe this.
- Get it in there.
- Oh.
- Child,
you oughta see
all the weed they got in there.
- That's at least a gram.
- Weed is not the problem.
- Talk to 'em, cousin.
- The man is the problem.
Actually, in this
case, the woman--
Y'all women.
- Security, please?
Security, please?
- Yo, we're dying out
here, we need that smoke.
- Hey Jasper, how much longer?
- A goddamn rush job
like this
Gotta get it right, the
weed gotta be
Talking about, you feel me?
- Uh, two minutes?
- Weed is natural, okay?
It's not some machine that
you could just plug up
into the wall to get
a charge up, no, no.
This woman over here is turning
y'all into junkies for profit.
Fye is not fly.
Look what it did to me.
- I had nothing
to do with it.
- Look at it.
Yes, weed coming from my
nipple, this is what Fye did.
- I told you not
to smoke that .
- Bro, my nipples be
leaking, bro.
- Move the meat,
boy that goddamn meat
better move, boy.
The goddamn smoke gotta
goddamn fill up
- Real weed.
- Real weed.
- Come on, y'all.
- Real weed.
- Real weed, real.
- Let's get back to the
presentation, shall we?
- Hold up, there's
something very important
I want you guys to all
know about my boss,
the wonderful, caring,
community-minded,
super woke CEO.
- Alicia, thank you,
finally someone's
talking some sense around here.
- My friend Calvin there,
he actually recorded something
that you guys should see,
so let's just go
ahead and hit it.
Oh, oh no.
Wait, no, no, no.
Okay, all right.
- Oh, we didn't
just buy your weed.
We bought everybody's weed,
and what we couldn't
buy, well, we took that.
Well, we took that.
Took that.
And guess what, the cool
refreshing answer is Fye.
Me, a fake?
I assure you, I am 100% woke.
Dealers go to jail,
but I'm gonna be rich.
You should thank me, I
did you people a favor.
Thank me, I did
you people a favor.
- You see, and my friends
Calvin and Roger here,
they're the ones that
tried to stop her.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hey man, get off me and go
arrest a white woman for once.
Get off of me.
- You know what,
I'm just gonna go.
- Why's y'all
waiting, you didn't wait on me.
- Real weed!
- Real weed, real
weed, real weed, real weed.
- Now, to
celebrate the return of weed,
please welcome Blac Youngsta.
Twerk, girl I wanna
see you, twerk
I'll throw a little
money if you twerk
I don't really think
you could twerk
Twerk, if you
broke go to work
Make that big booty twerk
Make that big booty twerk
Pop it, stop it,
drop it, pop it
If I hit Alexis Skyy
I'm a, rocket
I ain't got no, heart
I can't be loyal to you
You weren't here
from the start
Twerk, girl I
wanna see you twerk
I'll throw a lil
money if you twerk
I don't really think
you could twerk
Money don't walk, I
gotta go and get it
Shake that booty,
I'll come visit
If you thick, I might hit it
Can I touch that booty
That booty, that
big ol' booty
Shake that booty
Can I lay on the booty
Mike Tyson on the booty
Copyright that booty
Throw a xan we might act up
Kamikaze, 'cause you
know we all strapped up
Your, she want me, 'cause
she seen a nigga stacked up
But I can't keep her, I just
want to beat her back up
Now I'm in the 'Rari
switching lanes
Pull up to the street
and they all know my name
Now I got a bag, and
my baby chain swing
- Yo, I'm sorry I
ever doubted you.
I should've always knew
you were ride or die.
- Yeah, well, this is the
best time I've had in...
Actually, I don't even know.
- Me too, yo, so like,
when we going out?
- Look at you,
being all assertive.
- Well you know,
we did just disrupt
a multi-million
dollar corporation
and we saved weed, so
I'm feeling kinda good.
- I bet you I can make
you feel even better.
- You can make me feel better.
- Yeah.
- Goddamn!
- I mean.
- Get a room!
I feel good, I feel great
I feel good, I feel great
I feel good, I feel great
Hope you feel the same way
I feel good, I feel great
- Yo, 2 Smacked,
got a ravioli nachos
and a gumbo dog for you.
- Yeah, Roger, that you?
- Yo, Cecil dude,
what's happening.
- Just in here starving, bro.
So you still out here
tryna scrounge around
and be a delivery boy, huh?
- Nah man, actually
I own 2 Smacked, bro.
- Word.
- Yeah, we just closed
another round of financing,
putting our value
over 150 million.
That's my whip right there.
- That's you?
- Yeah, man.
- Wow, why you out here
delivering the food?
- Ah, I just like staying
connected to the customer.
You're the customer,
I'm staying connected.
You're my last drop before
we go somewhere special.
My girl just got upgraded to
VP, so she earned a raise.
Ain't that right, babe?
- I'm waiting, babe.
- Gotta go, man.
Enjoy that.
- Damn.
I think I just got ate.
All night I been
watching you
So tonight you're
leaving with me
I been waiting my whole life
- Let's go.
It's on now
We forever young
- Let's go.
Let me check your fouls
Two technicals
but you beautiful
- What are we doing?
- Make this thing fly.