What are you reading?
Aha, Mansfield Park.
I have never read Austen.
How is she?
Yeah? I was going to go and see
new Tarantino movie this weekend.
-Want to join us?
I'm busy.
Weekend thereon might?
What a weekend anytime suits me.
-What do you say?
-No.
Okay, okay.
When would it suit you?
I have a bad day. It would
be nice if I could be left alone.
It therefore means "no"?
-Fuck you!
Okay, then.
Happy reading.
Wait a minute. Did it really?
-Yes. I still have the clipping.
It took three days to clean up.
One foot was in a schoolyard.
-Horrible.
-A little girl got it in the face.
I mean your friend ...
and the little girl, of course.
I'm starting to digress a little.
It's not the beginning of the story.
-Start from scratch.
I'm sorry.
I try to capture your interest,
so you think ... "He's interesting."
I'm not here
to be entertained.
Sorry ... I'm really sorry
that I have made you upset.
Now, you will not be my friend.
It started with my inability
To say the right thing at the right time.
Start from the beginning, James.
MISFI
Good morning.
Geek
Fuck you, loser!
Geek
Dickhead
Unsuccessful
Idiot
Zero
-Hey.
-Hey, how was your day?
-Horrible. I got a football in the face.
Come and sit down.
Oh, thank you. Double burger with cheese.
I would fuck a donkey
a kiss from her.
Yes, it was good.
No cheese.
It was better. How was your day?
It took forever to work. Someone
idiot had thrown himself in front of the train.
So recklessly. Why does the
not from a building or something?
-Or in the sea.
-Just.
Jesus ... You should read this.
-What is it?
-Ldioten who threw himself in front of the train.
It's our idiot.
-That's Ian.
What I will miss him.
-I also.
Why did he say anything?
He should have said something.
It's so depressing. lan had
wished that we would have celebrated his life.
Hannah!
-Jeez!
-Hey.
-How have you been?
-Good.
James Bennet.
-Sure.
Ben-meister, JB.
-From School ...
Is that true?
-When did you come? How long were you there?
-L seven years.
-Some called me glans.
Yeah, right.
-James. How have you been?
-Good. Really good.
Besides today. Today is a sad day.
-How did you Ian?
I've only met him once.
-My parents knew him. What about you?
We were best friends.
We played Warrior Quest
and had pen pals together.
Are you going to go to the vigil?
-No, I do Pilates.
-Fun to be seen.
Yes, we should ...
So it was Hannah.
Player she not in another league?
She is half French.
-Poor Ian.
The only girl at the funeral
did not know who he was.
You're like one of the guys, Patch.
-I just got an email from Ian.
-Jeez.
-Maybe they buried him alive.
He has sent it before he died.
-A little geeky.
-I mean in a cute way.
-What is it?
It's a movie.
Hello, James.
This probably sounds crazy.
I have to tell you this.
I've decided to try
chat me up at a woman.
Does it not so ...
I have delayed the message ...
... You get it, you know what happened.
I Pallade no more. I have not
been with a woman since I was 18.
No one wants me.
I do not want to be laughed at.
I feel so alone.
I understand that you know how it feels.
But you are young. Promise me
not be a dejtls poor.
Go out and meet a wonderful girl
that you can live with.
Do not show this movie to anyone.
What sad. I knew
not that he was so oiycklig.
Poor Ian.
Should you take his advice ...
and learn how to talk to women?
I can talk to women.
I can. Piss off.
It was his last wish.
-Sir, you forgot Rupus.
-It cost me 700 pounds.
You kill the bats,
and then you fucking woman ...
Hey, gang.
Are you kidding me?
No, come on.
Yeah. Would not it be cool if
began to greet each other like that?
-No.
-What was the big surprise?
-Not so great.
I have bid with Jenny.
-When?
-Tonight.
Why is that?
I can not talk to women.
I have a tuft of hair in the throat.
I can not get a word out.
She babbles a lot.
Be yourself sjiv only.
Then I'll just sweat
and it gets really embarrassing.
We're having fun.
AAR dddet ...
Our friend killed himself.
Is that the theme from Warrior Quest?
Yeah, I downloaded it.
What is Warrior Quest?
-A game I play online ...
- ... When I'm really bored.
He's a magician.
-A magician, actually.
-What's the difference?
A magician creates magic by
use the elements, while a ...
Uh, would ...
would you ... I need the loo.
Do you drink them all?
-Have you heard of a worse o?
-Never.
Omit evaluation.
That's my job.
I was desperate.
How would I know that a mouse click
would change my life.
Do not be a coward dejtls.
Pickup School of frlor ...
Hello, my name is Zeus.
Welcome to my world.
sex with six men during their lifetime.
I've slept with tusentaIs.
This has not always been.
I was a wimp.
The typical medeimttiga nerd.
Still a virgin at 25,
and just kissed by a woman.
Until I discovered how to picked up.
As Leonardo learned to paint,
or Mozart learned to play the piano
-So I learned how to pick up women.
I did not stop there.
My goal is to teach all men
to be as good on women-
-As I am.
My book "How to stop being losers" -
-Has sold over five million.
It's yours for 14.99 today.
It contains the 50 basic rules you
need to change your life.
What do I look like?
Do not be a wimp.
Order the book-
-Book a Zeus-seminar
and change your life ... today;
Super Cheap Pickup School
Ampersand.
Brothers, men.
Humanity. tonight Ampersand
learn art-
-Give you a tool that will
To help you-
-To get her clit to vibrate by
arousal-
-To get the pussy purr ...
of voluptuousness.
You will walk with me
monks to pleasures abode.
Yes, sad but true.
I have been like you.
Sad, lonely,
And constant masturbation.
Drawn a whacking, played hide violin
-Run a Miss Right.
But it's the end of it.
Because I intend to learn everything.
everything you need to know to get
Near the feminine form.
Let life smile upon you.
Segertget has begun. Questions?
Light, please.
Yes, the mature gentleman in the back.
Is this the retired single night?
No, it is not. The corridor
down and three doors on the left side.
Goodbye. Jackass.
Hi, I'm James.
-Where is everybody?
They're not here.
The website is pie.
How did you find out?
-Pure luck and ...
I read computer science.
I fixed the broken html code.
Then I could book a ticket.
It was great.
I'm very good at my job.
I'm brilliant.
Yesterday evening I had a threesome with
a mother and a daughter.
It sounds wonderful.
No, the mother criticized
daughter technique.
All right.
It is good problem to have
if compared.
MrAmpersand? Are you going?
Yes, I'll switch on and go home.
I have booked and paid
for pick-up school.
It's not about money.
I want to learn from you.
Der is not your day today, right?
You said you knew how it was to
be lonely and sad and ...
Constant masturbation.
That has never applied myself.
-Then you are not ready yet, right?
-Well ... constant masturbation.
It's not just about me. All
my friends want me to do this.
I must learn from you.
I can fix the website.
Can you fix it? Entirely?
-Avbsolut.
-Free?
-For private tuition.
You are my friend. We have a deal. We go
to the pub and talk and then ...
... We begin field exercises.
Do you come here often?
Here, kid. Lower it.
It will give you hair on your chest.
-Are you related?
Me and Guy? Hell, no.
He helps me in
some lectures.
I fucked his mom.
-What are you doing?
I do not like cheese.
Do not like cheese? Everyone likes cheese.
That's why you got a cheeseburger.
You do not like cheese, that is.
The problem is solved. no more cheese.
I get mad at you.
He's out of here.
There have I told you before.
Okay, time to go.
-Will he be?
-Okay.
Can he go home yourself?
He lives a few stops away.
It's dark outside.
He'll be fine. Now we start.
I assume you read the "How to
stop being a loser "?
For the artist, guru, god, Zeus.
You have not read it then? Lucky for
you I can everything in it.
The Bible teaches you everything
and I can learn it.
I can teach you how to
stop being a loser.
The clues are in the title.
What is the first thing you want to know?
Come on ...
I know nothing about women.
It's clear.
I want to know ...
... How to start a conversation.
What is the best pickup line?
-Why did you do that?
-To trivialize the game.
The greatest game of all.
Pickup Game.
Rule no. 1
Never use a sleazy reply
Excuse word choice.
If it had been easy all run
around with Pussy Galore.
No, the ride is an art form.
Women just need to show some
skin and so they get their guy.
It is not so easy for guys.
Women are not as shallow.
-Three women, three numbers.
-How did you do it?
That's what I'll teach you.
You must do everything I say.
-Everything. Say hello to the girl over there.
-Hey, girl over there.
Piss off.
I need you.
-You have to give everything all the time.
-I give alit.
-Then behverjag 15 pounds.
-14 ... 1:05 a.m., if you work with me.
-1 5, decidedly.
Anyone who says he can teach you how to get
who you want, is an impostor.
-Guaranteed not you?
-Did I?
Yeah, you said it.
That was a metaphor.
For what?
-Just.
You go up to a beautiful
girl in a bar.
You say that she is beautiful and offers
her directly.
When she knows that you are lower
socially than she does.
In her g0n you have fallen.
Ampersand is
at a club, everything goes well.
He has fun, she has seen
and it is approaching.
She knows I do not
is a simple pole shot.
I ask the first question.
Excuse me, my friend bought a pink
shirt. Can he have it on a date?
Did you see that I just turned my head.
The body stays with coils. She knows
that she is not more important than the coils.
I think she has
lower social value.
-Should I write?
-Remember rule no. 8.
rule no. 8
Strive not too keen.
I'll choose some women
random. You should go up to them.
You'll find out what they bought something for
you want to give your girlfriend the same thing.
Should I really have a girlfriend?
-It disarms them.
You should be safe
so you can talk to women.
Ask that girl
of her purse.
-Now.
-Okay.
rule no. 31
Do not hesitate. Dive
-Hey, hey.
-Hey.
Yes ... Where did you get your bag from?
-Excuse me?
-Your Bag. I need ... girlfriend.
-The bag is beautiful.
Are you going to take my purse?
No, fflt. I want to ... I want
buy one of those for my girlfriend.
-I present.
Yeah, okay.
Sorry. So you want to buy a
similar to your girlfriend.
I bought it in a small shop,
Kelsons, near Oxford Circus.
I have a girlfriend.
Should I draw a map?
I have a girlfriend.
Okay, I'm drawing a map.
It is a little trendy shop.
They have cool stuff.
What hot it is.
-Here you are. Hope she likes it.
-Who?
Yes, my girlfriend.
There she will do.
She will love it.
-Have fun.
-How was it?
-Wow, goddammit only.
I was really nervous when
I walked up.
I do not think she noticed.
-Not a chance.
I can. I'm going to a party in
weekend and then I can do this.
I hang on.
I'll teach you party trick.
No, it's friends from Warrior Quest.
Going on an exclusive party?
I hang on, it will be wonderful.
May I 50 so kommerjag.
It is a redhead drb0rta.
Ask her about her hair band.
Party!
Jeez!
Interesting.
Hi, Winnie. How are you?
-Hey. Good to see you.
Cannon!
I like your badge.
"Cat sees you."
It's history's worst party.
I've been on worse.
Really?
-Sure. Where is Tom.
At Oxford included ethics in the course.
It is as if kreationisten
opposes biologist.
But you will never
realize that you are wrong.
You will go to the grave
and think that it is right to eat meat.
Who are you?
-Tom.
Who invited you to my party?
Brazil ... All that passion.
All exotic food. I feel really
not to anyone food from Brazil-
-Besides Brazilian nuts.
Do you like nuts?
-Yes.
-In Brazil we say, frutas secas.
-Frutath, secath?
No, frutas secas.
What beautiful.
When do you typically eat Iunch?
Usually in the afternoon
with my boyfriend.
With your boyfriend ...
Do you hear that sound?
It's the sound of my range.
Now it is getting moves.
It must be drinks
you mixed at all, Patch.
Or that someone spiked the bonfire.
-What?
-That sounds reasonable.
-A body should be well fortified?
It's an alcohol-free punch.
Jeez, that's Hassan.
He is Muslim.
It's your round, Hassan.
I have a friend who is inside
on spirituality, new age ...
She believes that the finger you choose for
ring tells something about you.
-What does this, then?
-In Greek mythology ...
Symbolizes ... this finger
Poseidon.
Independent of all other gods.
Have you chosen the finger, then you are
a formidable independent girl.
It is said to have a vein that
goes all the way to your heart.
-Do not go all the veins to the heart?
-Shut up.
He has driven the
trick thousands of times.
I'm waiting up there.
I will not be long.
-Fuck you, asshole.
You're a piece of shit, your sexist.
How can I be sexist?
I lskarju women.
You can not use them
as sex toys.
I neither see nor hear you.
There are the big balls
as thuds against your skull.
I need a key.
-Go to the left, I told you.
-James.
Hi, guys.
I was looking for my new friend.
-The guy with the hat?
Up there.
What's going on?
-Bends and cuckoos, as usual.
Do not drink the bonfire. It is laced.
You're welcome.
What would you rather have, large nuts,
or a giant cock?
Cock, of course. When choosing a girl a
guy because he had big nuts?
Ampersand?
-Ampersand?
-Fuck you!
-Ampersand ...? May I come in?
-Yes.
Where did you go?
Sorry. I can come back.
Do not worry.
She sees you probably do not even know.
She knows enough just being here.
Is that really okay?
Yeah, it's cool.
It was she who took a large
drink and invited me up here.
How could she have been so drunk?
I saw that she drank torso.
-It can be interpreted as a little abuse.
-Fan.
Should we stop?
Yes, stop now.
-I am on now. could you ...
No, no, no.
-Do not say you ...?
-How do you think it feels?
I came into the eyes of another man.
Omie - accidental male
interference when ejaculation.
-Yes.
It's a dangerous syndrome.
-Have you heard of it?
I figured it out.
I have personally worked
therapies for recovery.
You can mention it to mrAmpersand.
Tell him that it
happens to the best.
Mexico.
-Dr Learner? Are you okay?
-Do not worry.
Continue.
What's going on?
I sort out your life, James.
What are you doing on my computer?
-Do me with your sick porn.
-Do not do it.
-Too late.
-Dejetade you Asia stuff?
No, I'll just do it.
No, Ampersand.
-My Porn? That was all I had.
-Oh my God, you have to go out more.
-Even more important. You need to lie.
I had lots of kndissex.
Any time you have been online, you would have
been out and picked babes instead.
Do not touch my stuff
and deleta not my files.
Damn, I feel bad.
You dejetade well otherwise?
Except where Warrior Quest junket.
-Have you deletat it from my hard drive?
I dejetade all characters online.
-It took several hours.
-Ampersand, you've ruined my life.
You killed my dog.
You have no dog, James.
Are you kiar?
Talk with Ampersand now.
Watch the little Ampersand now. That's it.
Come on. Good boy.
Look behind me.
Who is he on the wall?
-Lan.
Do you want to be like him?
What did you call him?
A dejtls poor.
Want to get rid of those?
Then help me to help you.
Gee, James. Look around you.
Your life is a skithl.
The room and everything in it.
Oh my God. Everything smells of
meat and male obesity.
Are you married to your hand and gives
you sjiv a rvnyp.
-What kind rvnyp?
-You know, when you ...
You have to start from scratch.
You have to change everything. Become a new
man, creating a new world.
Start from scratch.
Out with the old, in with the new.
Is that true?
-James?
-Yes.
I'm your blind date.
Rule no. 10
Never underestimate yourself
Add in?
Are you my blind date?
Yeah, what the hell. Put yourself.
rule no. 22
Strive not desperate
-I really like your bracelet.
Thank you.
I really like your hair.
But your bracelet I really like.
Hey, can I ask your opinion?
Howdy.
rule no. 3
Revealing no embarrassing secrets
It spreads everywhere.
Look.
My chest muscles seams really.
It's panic button.
I bought the shirt because I
put on a little muscle.
Rule no. 47
Do not reveal your geeky devices
I was debating with an idiot on the web
who believe that Middle Earth is flat?
Hello? Centrifugal forces.
You talking to me?
I was not looking at you.
Well, I did.
You are really good looking.
A parish priest, a nun and a ...
What did you say?
Rule no. 17
Never be boring
What is the best thing to have
sex with 35 year olds?
I do not know. What is the best?
There are 30 pieces.
May I offer you a glass, ladies?
Let me buy you a drink.
rule no. 45
Never prude when it comes to sex
I remember a guy. He was
obsessed nipping my ear.
Foreplay is good, but sometimes you want
you just skip it.
Guys think the only thing you want
is massage and foreplay-
-When in fact sjiva want
a juicy fuck.
Rule no. 6
Do not be stingy
Look, you have to pay for the extra
Naan bread. What did I tell you.
Jeez, you know how expensive they are?
I do not know ...
-Check it out here. This is me.
You think you're Marty McFly?
Hey, back to the present.
I choose, you wear them.
rule no. 35
Never reveal your plan
-Oops!
-Wow, condoms.
You were a confident one.
No, they are a friend.
You have to change your body language.
Gesturing, maintain eye contact.
Be one of those people who want to listen to.
rule no. 49
Do not be a loser
-It has not been so good, huh?
-Do not be depressed now.
It takes time to learn. The dating is
an art form. It takes time to learn.
You meet a lot of obstacles.
But remember one thing.
Call me never ever again.
Some do not have the ability to
talk to women.
Yes, really.
I did not think you would criticize.
Did Ampersand you with
regain self-confidence?
Yes, I suppose so.
I tried some new tricks.
A lot.
-Oh, it's that time of the month?
-Excuse me?
It must be tough with
mood swings and bleeding.
Are you going to start a conversation
by asking if I have my period?
No, I just tried.
It's original, I must say.
-Do not forget the brave.
Yes, but you have to work a part of it.
-My name is James.
-Charlotte.
It's probably a much better opening
than the "time of the month".
I should have taken the cat food.
Like, I see that we
both like urinating.
Bye, James.
It's not mine.
Welcome to the training center
if you want quality girls.
This is the place to go,
No more geek parties.
Who you hang out with will determine
how you are perceived.
If I hang out with cool so
they think I'm cool?
Tonight, you are with me. so people will
to think that you're some sort of god.
I'm with you.
-Yes. that we drink on.
Hello.
Look, do not stare, James.
Thank you. Thank you!
Bar!
We must take. It is Hannah.
Hannah? What is it you?
I thought you liked her.
-Yes, but I'm not ready for this.
-Oh, come on. Look at me.
Relax, focus. Ampersand looks
that you do not look stupid.
Barry!
-Ampersand, what's up? What are you drinking?
-A bottle of your best champagne.
-The house pays?
Yes, the house pays.
Women. do you want some toast with us.
My friend James has just a SAI company for 200 million pounds.
I read it in the newspaper today.
- Barry, bring some glass out.
Here we go. Another.
Hi, Hannah.
-Hello.
I did not see you.
I thought you saw me there.
No, I do not have my glasg0n.
-How are you?
-Really good, like ...
Who is your friend?
-Someone I just met.
He seems nice.
-Do you like it?
You look really different.
Do you like it?
-Yes. Do you come here often?
Do you run into me?
Completely 0kej if you do it.
May I see.
Oh, God, Pete! How are you?
-Lovely. What are you doing here?
I'm waiting for some friends.
This is James.
Never thought I'd see you
here again after last time.
Jenny was so mad at you.
I fucked her anyway.
What nasty you are.
No, I know you like it.
I was thinking of buying a little to drink.
-What a beautiful dress.
Thank you, it cost a fortune.
What have you been up to?
I have had the hedge full, baby.
-You should talk to Hannah.
-We go ... Look.
-Fan.
-This is not for me.
Get out! Go back there and
take control of the situation.
Do not let the situation
take control of you. Do not forget:
AHIG - alpha male in the group.
Say it with me.
One more time. The alpha male of the group.
Take the bull by the horns.
You have balls like watermelons and
you slurp them in the face at him.
Yes!
Remember it was bildilgt spoken.
Look what I come up with.
You must try them.
-What are you talking about?
-Pete's adventures on a HD.
Are not you a little young
for middle-aged crisis?
It was no good. It gets you, Pete.
We're going to change clubs. Linked you on?
-Absolutely.
-I gotta go. We are doing well on this?
-Okay.
-May I your number so ringerjag.
Yes, why not.
You get my card.
See you soon. Cool.
- Hello, I forgot my jacket.
Pussy.
Ladies, feast awaits.
Good evening, gentlemen.
-Not tonight, sir.
I'm with him.
-No, you're not.
-Well, with Ampersand and girls.
-Not tonight.
-Ampersand!
Ampersand! No. No. No. Ampersand!
What the hell are you doing? You are a fucking pervert!
I can not be a pervert;
I Arju innocence.
He jumped through the window.
I'm going to talk to the manager.
There you are.
I almost did not enter.
James.
I'm going to get drinks.
I'll call you ...
-Where have you been?
-Whatever. I have her number.
I'm going to get girlfriend.
-Calm, Romeo, you have much to learn.
James. Check there.
It's Todd Stroper, the man who
created infidelity trick.
The man next to him is Uncle
Flamechux-
And next to him is Heracies.
Then Zeus also be here.
He's in the building.
-Fuck that. This like you.
Is not that where Kelly-Ann Cooper?
-Holy shit!
Kelly-Ann Cooper, she wants
I have a mouthful of.
-This I must see.
-You stay here.
-This may not be on.
-Come on, Ampersand?
-Practice on your weak points.
Why insult I women?
It is 0m it, James.
You have to do it with aplomb.
To: "spit on me?"
Or. "You have such beautiful nails."
Then you ask if they are genuine. No,
she replies. You look a little disgusted.
I can not explain it more for you.
The rest you have to learn yourself.
I can not be here all the time,
but over there I can be.
I'll get her number and show
them to Ampersand, the great-
-Will rock cock with the big boys.
-Why are you talking always about penises?
-Bye, James.
Good evening. Do you mind
I take the chair?
What we talked about?
Ar you always so cocky?
For the most part.
We talked about what it annoying
is when guys come across one at the pub.
I know what you mean.
I hate when that happens to me.
Is that your real hair color?
-Yes.
I thought it looked dyed out.
-It is not.
-What are you doing?
-I am Kelly-Ann's assistant.
And you?
-I am Kelly-Ann.
The singer? Have not you heard
"Work it baby"?
-No. Have you just published it?
No, it was number one in the summer.
Work it baby? Yes, motherfuckers.
I know what it is.
That chorus sounds like
a horse slaughtered.
No. Yes, but I let
not like a horse.
No, my goodness.
You do not look like one either.
Would anybody have more to drink?
-You spat on me.
-Excuse me?
I have a girlfriend.
I'm back in the country in August.
I'll be sure to call you.
It has been a great pleasure, Kelly.
Oh my God. It was fun.
You're cute. What did you say your name was?
-James.
-Like James Bond.
-Yes.
-My name is Clarissa.
-As in at ... oroform.
-Which nails. Are they authentic?
No, they are fake.
Trist. They look okay though.
You hate them, right?
I look like a cheap whore.
I finally found a nice guy
who hate me-
-Because of my stupid,
stupid. stupid nails.
Oh my God! I am a monster.
-It went no further.
I need more training.
I broke the 23 th rule.
-Did you chloroform?
I tried to stop me sjiv
from saying chlamydia.
He was.
Sit down.
-Anything else you mentioned?
-Her nails.
Step into my office
we will discuss-
-How to address a woman.
We will get up early tomorrow.
-There was no question.
You know who it is?
It's Hand-Henry.
What should he do?
I do not know, James.
You do not fuck with someone called
Butcher or four-fingered Phil.
-I like my hands.
-Silent.
Hold out your hand.
There was a misunderstanding with the girl.
I gave her a compliment.
Hold up your hand!
Strange.
Your life line is a straight fine line
throughout the palm-
-Which means you get a long
marriage and healthy children
And will live happy
for many years.
It does not give you permission to be
disrespectful to the opposite sex.
-Next time ... What is your name?
-James.
James. next time,
feel after ...
... In your heart. Okay?
Embrace your inner beauty
and let chi flow in the body.
Do not let the universe suffocate you
and make you confused.
Do you understand what that means, James?
I will be kind to women.
Precisely.
Kila away.
It was nice, Mr. Hand.
Nice.
Kiliar ...
It's a hell of a mess here.
Health Ramone that I am unhappy.
The evening has been a disaster. We go.
How much trouble can you have?
We drink up and go.
Ladies, carriage waiting, and you are
welcome to join us.
Get out. We googled Riliox.
You are the two monsters.
-Do you work Riliox?
-Are you monster?
-They own the place.
-Experiments on you baby?
People exaggerate.
You may not order black coffee.
celebrate Christmas or experimenting on children.
Shame on you. - Spring.
would you take a walk?
Stop, you bastards!
-Rillox Corporation?
That was the first thing I came up with.
-Ampersand.
-Zeus. God. You are ...
I saw what you did. Good job.
Kelly-Ann Cooper is an A-celebrity.
You managed to seduce her-
-Which is great publicity for us.
My mission is to satisfy
women, and you, my lord.
-Not tilifredsstlla, but ...
-Relax.
A bright future awaits you.
If you show your worth-
-And I'll show you a world
you've only dreamed of.
Am I worthy, my lord?
I have a girlfriend.
Come on, Ampersand.
The guys from the club
chasing us still.
Ampersand!
Come on now.
I've been thinking about Zeus guy.
He was the one who-
-Commit fornication with Princess Jasmine
and Suzanne Peters.
-Film star?
And the princess. Fucking lucky hurt.
-Ampersand saw him as a god.
-Not so strange.
I agree.
Hannah?
Never book a date
a Friday or Saturday.
Are you free this weekend?
She'll think you partying.
Do not sit at home and washes away
semen of pajamas.
Friday at eight o'clock?
It works fine.
Talk to you later decide
where we're going. I must stop.
I have driven up your first date. You
'll eat sushi at my friend place.
You get the restaurant's top table.
Use sweeping gestures when expressing
needs. It makes you look confident.
We would introduce
the small spacecraft ...
Do not stay in one place for too long.
Then your date stiff and dull.
Once you have begun to thrive together
will you go to a smaller place-
-Where you can get a little more intimate.
I've always wanted to dress me up
and go to the opera.
It sounds like a nice evening.
-May I ask a question?
-Yes.
-Do you wear always ring on that finger?
It's comfortable.
I have a spiritual friend who says
that if you wear the ring on the finger-
-It leads straight to the heart.
What if she notices
that there is a pick-up line.
That would never happen.
-But ...
-No.
Silent.
Do you have a pick-up line?
No.
Sad that you are trying to manipulate me.
I thought you were genuine.
You're like everyone else. A sad zero
trying to lie to get laid.
I have had enough.
I tried ...
Have a nice evening.
You got caught. Hannah is not stupid.
She has probably heard all
pickup lines. She is gorgeous.
Hannah, I sincerely apologize.
-James.
-Hannah.
Sorry I used the
pick-up line.
I was nervous and I like you.
I hired a guy
who taught me some tips.
I want to make up yourself by going to
It's not ...
-You do not have the right clothes, but ...
I bought this beautiful dress.
It is your size.
In cool.
It's not my storiek.
It's too big.
Yes, it is too large.
We can go home to you first.
You are a madman. It is the finest
someone has done for me.
Is that a yes?
No, I'm going to yoga.
So do I.
James, I'm off tomorrow.
-Okay.
I'll call you tomorrow. See you.
Calm.
Turner was one of the founders.
The painting is seen as crucial
of early Impressionism.
I am deeply impressed.
Wait a minute. Kissed you Hannah?
I did more than that.
-Did you ...
-Many times.
What do you do?
You eat your ...
-Continue.
Are we in a safe place?
We're in my room and you tell
your story. Continue.
All right.
-Ampersand.
-Casanova. Did jealous tips?
I'm taking it easy with tips. Hannah
will come to know the real me.
Poor Hannah.
Will you pass next?
You can not. I'm meeting Hannah.
I'll let you know when I have time.
-Who is it?
-Continue.
Hi, Spatch.
-Patch.
-Does that James? Is he okay?
Sure. He was supposed to meet Hannah.
He always meets Hannah now.
I was in the neighborhood
and wanted to check how you are feeling.
-Why were you in your neighborhood?
I wanted to meet you.
You want to come in?
You're a little tiger.
Gladly.
We have a rock band.
-Are not you out and rape?
-Your mother.
-Mom?
-Already done. She enjoyed.
What are you doing?
-I do not like cheese.
I thought everyone liked cheese.
I do not live with my
roommates Ionger or alone.
It's to hell.
-Move in with me.
-Okay. Cheers, roommate.
What have you done?
Ar you not giada?
Is not that too early?
I feel it's perfect.
Does it help to pinch my ass
during sex not to come?
-Questionable.
Can we focus? Is it so?
Do not worry. There are two girls
which probably parts of a brain.
Go over there. Keep calm,
confidence and make eye contact.
It is important.
You look, without staring.
-What do you do if she is blind?
-Is it real issue?
This is brilliant. Sorry.
no sunglasses, asshole.
The rAmpersand. Just a moment.
I like to talk to him.
I can not wait.
The trick is so amazing
you never gimmer it away.
I'm going to guess which card you have chosen.
Ready?
Is that the right card?
-No.
See you there, Zeus. Thank you.
Hello there.
-Pitch, right?
-Patch.
Is James too?
He's at the gym.
He has gained weight
so we thought it was best.
All right.
I'll just get my DVDs.
-Come in.
I've cleaned while James has been
gone. It was a real den of robbers.
Where's the card on James and Ian?
I posted a picture of us. Nice, huh?
-Lovely. Where's the photo?
I threw it.
-Why?
That was James's best friend is dead.
Is he dead?
You were at the funeral.
Was it Ian?
-Where is it?
The container outside.
-Where is it?
-You can get infected by diseases.
Oh my God.
People watching, Pitch.
Pitch!
all right?
Ampersand. Sit down.
My lord.
Ladies. Thank you.
-A little crowded.
-Kelly-Ann Cooper is back.
-Do you still have her number?
-Yes.
Call her. If you manage to seduce
megastar Kelly-Ann
-I will personally nominate you
the Year award player.
If you pass it, the price is yours.
Thank you. It was nice to see you again.
-The same.
Nice to meet you three as well.
I found it.
Hannah?
-Where did you go?
I have to check my Facebook page.
I see.
I must go.
Give it to James.
Please be careful with it.
I have so much pain.
Everything all right? You see a little foam out.
-Have you met Patch?
-No. but she'll get their films.
She got them last week.
What happened to my photo?
I T0G it out of context when I
plastered and the maid ...
-Did I say that we have it?
Why?
She cleans.
She threw it out by mistake.
I searched for two hours
before I found it.
You know how much it means.
-I know.
Defected to the container
and downloaded it?
-Yes.
-Wow.
You have phobia of that kind.
I did it for your sake.
What turjag have.
no one has done anything like that for me.
Come here.
I'll call him. He forgot
his best friend's birthday.
We have been planning it for months.
He's safe with Hannah.
It's bad enough that he never
hits us, but now have I had enough.
Here you go, asshole. You look horrible out.
Thanks for your encouragement.
Have you ever full?
We are busy.
-You do not have time to breathe.
It's never fully here.
-What do you know about pubbranschen?
I'm sorry.
-Drink your beer.
I wait until everyone comes before I
'll tell you one thing. Where is Patch?
She said: "I do not see shit
for all the money in the world. "
What have I done?
-Do you not know that?
That was why I asked.
-You missed lance birthday.
That was last Tuesday.
-Fan.
-Do not be cracked.
We were not there.
But we barely knew him.
-We had it if it was our best friend.
-Thank you.
-Good afternoon, boys.
I got Guy's first girlfriend.
Is not he too young for that?
-Because he was a mature woman.
Brilliant.
-How's it going with your girlfriend, Neil?
-It's over.
Her parents have given her
curfew during final exams.
Tough. It was so close.
I really thought I would get
to it. She was 16 and byxmyndig.
Very close.
I want to tell ...
-Hey, baby. Have you told him?
I would just do it.
We have news to tell.
Hannah and I'm moving to Canada.
For Montreal.
Fantastic, is not it? You can visit
if you want, but call first.
Hannah's dad has fixed
a cool job for me.
I'll do film posters
and webpages ...
-You have only been together for three months.
-3.5.
It's ...
-Congratulate James.
He moves into a romantic city
with his dream girl. He's not a loser.
I just want to ...
-Do not tell him what to do.
-It does not. Now we go.
I'm coming.
I'm sorry.
She's a bitch.
She listens to Celine Dion?
She botched "Titanic."
-Be happy for me.
We're trying to say ...
I do not want to hear.
Hannah is my dream girl.
You remember that? She does everything for me.
Here omdagen rooted her in the garbage.
Would you do that for me?
For an idiotic fotos sake.
Be happy for me.
James!
I'm coming.
Lingonberry Week.
James, it's completely idiotic.
It's a nightmare.
James used to take care of this.
Why is Tax after me?
Look busy.
-Come in.
-Hello.
James. I thought it was a customer.
-How are you? How's business?
I have been busy.
I have new things to you.
-New plans.
-You should not go, right?
I'll go today.
Is not it crazy?
I start my new job on Monday.
I had to meet you
one last time and thank you.
Before I met you was me
a zero. A dejtls poor.
Because of you, I have a new life,
new girlfriend and a new job.
no more signed, no more
sci-fi convention or Warrior Quest.
I am your premier success story.
Do you know what you do?
It is Hannah. I've been down
in her as long as I can remember.
Can not you be a little happy
for me?
Sure. Good luck, James.
Come here.
Take care of him for me, Guy.
Make sure he does not get into trouble.
I just want to make one last stop.
Hello, Tom.
-If you go now?
-Yes.
I will miss you.
-Come here.
-Take care.
-Do you really do this?
Yes. I have thought long
and it feels scary-
-But she crawled around in garbage
to find the photo on the lan. Unbelievable.
She means everything to me.
-Good luck.
Is Patch here?
She does not want to see you.
I see. Can you tell her ...
Come on! The taxi is waiting.
Can you tell her that I always ...
It's ... You know.
-Bye.
What he sees in her?
She wants him well.
In what way?
What convinced him
about the photo of him and Ian.
It subjected
and Hannah were in the trash.
What do you do?
James, wait! Hell.
What should we do?
-We are on the fourth level.
He leaves the country with a liar.
The relationship is based on lies.
What else has she lied about?
I'll call him.
He turned it off. What do we do now?
There.
-To airport - fast.
-Calm in the Storm.
God created Adam and Eve,
not Adam and Steve.
How can you have that kind of opinions?
Do not be so prejudiced.
What is your problem? Is it okay
that two men suck cock?
Your tabloid-reading pigs.
I read no tabloids. Got that?
I'm sorry. We need the airport.
Get out of my car!
Damn.
I'm sorry, Patch.
-Now, James lost.
What did you think
about our afternoon, Kelly?
Wonderful, Ampersand. I liked
Have your shaved cock against my cheek.
Nice, Kelly. I like having
Your shaved treasure to my lips.
Damn.
-Hello?
We need a ride.
I can not. I'll eat lunch
with Kelly-Ann Cooper.
-The desserts consumed in hotels.
James goes to Hannah for good.
He told me that. It was loaded.
She has lied to him. James think
she does everything for him.
He thinks she found the lance photo.
We have to stop him.
Most conditions
is built on lies.
James has made his choice. Let him
ride. I have an important date.
Okay, selfish pigs.
I thought James was your friend.
Hello there. My name is James.
What were you saying? A dejtls poor.
My friend James has just sold
Rillox Corporation.
Ampersand! Come here.
I have soon girlfriend.
-You have a lot to learn.
I had to thank you.
I have a new girlfriend, new life
and new job. Thanks to you.
Damn.
Zeus, the rAmpersand.
I have ended up in a thorny seat.
You know well?
It will be wonderful.
Fashion, art and skiing.
And a perfect boyfriend.
It will be wonderful.
-Chin up.
-You are right. Sorry.
I've always dreamed about this.
-Everything is going so fast.
We become like a perfect couple
that one sees in advertisements.
You are right. We go to the arcade
and beats ihji time.
We are not children.
-Champagne?
James! We'll never find him.
There they are.
James!
-Hey.
-What's going on?
We want to say goodbye to our friends.
Can you give us a minute?
-Two.
-Good to see you.
-Hannah said she rooted in the trash.
-It was me who crawled into the trash.
It's true.
She has manipulated you.
-That's not why you came?
She's a bitch.
I promise it's true.
-So what? Everyone can make mistakes.
She lied to you.
I lied to her.
I used his pickup lines
for several weeks.
I'm in love with her.
You're obsessed with her.
You forgot
Your best friend's birthday.
It was my fault. Leave her outside.
She does not allow you to remember.
You almost never hits us anymore.
-They are waiting, James.
I must go.
If she loved you she would not
having to manipulate you.
-It would not you also do.
-Come on.
I must go now. I'm sorry.
-Look at her.
-Planet!
She's not even physically fit.
-Bye. Sorry.
You do not have a relationship
to be happy.
Buddies before brides.
-What was that about?
-They want me to stay.
Pix Loose wretch. You need them
not anymore. We'll start a new life.
-You become rich as an economist.
-Economist?
It's no big deal.
The job as a graphic designer was
appointed. You get to work with economics.
-I do not want to work in finance.
It's a hgstatusjobb.
-Think about what we can buy for the kitchen.
-It struntarjag in.
I want a fun job.
Do not you care?
It's clear.
-You do not show it.
People are starting to look at us.
I know it's difficult, but it
Sorry, I'm nervous. I have
a premonition that this does not work.
-I made a sandwich.
Thank you.
-What is the application?
-Ost.
Tuck into.
It is our flight.
Montreal - now we will.
What are you doing?
-My friends are right about you.
-You do not care about me. You are sjivisk.
I'm sorry?
I must go.
-It's over if you go now.
You'll never find a girl like me again.
do you want to be a loser for life?
Yes, indeed.
James!
-Be careful what you wish for you.
Really?
-What is it?
-That was a clich.
I think it is great.
I was hoping for something more insightful.
I see what your friends are saying.
-Did I upset you?
-No.
-Are you mad at me, Dr. Learner?
-Continue.
All right.
-Do you have room for one more zero?
-James.
We thought we'd lost you.
-Never.
Come to daddy bear.
rule no. 50
Never forget your friends
Now's me confused. States you
it's good to be a loser?
Nine times out of ten, they are not zeros.
I think they are winners.
What if they are zeros.
We say that they are probably not
it. Do they think that they should read our book.
-On how to stop being a loser.
That was Zeus book.
We say that they probably do not even
are zeros.
You are in all cases a zero.
You did not put on Patch.
She is betuttad in you
and only an asshole could miss it.
-Nobody doctor says something like that.
-Answer the question.
What are you a doctor?
You point to a dipiom. They can i
print on your computer. What do you do?
I torture people.
I'm sorry?
I'm talking to people.
-It sounded like you said ...
I know I'll be late.
I'll apologize.
I apologize, Mr. Bennet.
London traffic is ...
What are you doing here, Dennis?
I have said that you do not
may sit in my chair. Move over.
I pray 0m excuse.
Do not do this again, Dennis.
It's not good for you.
Who is Dennis?
He is patient
I'm going to meet at five.
He often sneaks in, sits down
in my chair and pretend to be me.
All right.
It's a great story
and would be a good movie.
-Hey.
-You did not have to wait. Thank you.
How'd it go? Are you cured?
-Not directly.
Was it not as good as you thought?
-It pstrjag not.
Patch.
Do you ...
-It's nothing.
-Say.
Why are you looking like that?
You're an idiot.
We go. It starts to rain.
Wait a minute.
Would you drink a glass with me?
We will do this tonight.
Would you drink a glass with just me?
Just you and me?
-Are you asking me on a date?
What if I did?
Then maybe I'd say yes.
Then maybe I'll ask.
What's going on?
Precisely.
It is not necessary.
I changed my plans.
Are you related?
Remember that what people
see you with is ...
You have to understand ... What the hell!
Stop pretending ...
When you are out and socialize with people ...
When people see who you hang out with ...
It's something people ...
Damn, soon I'll kill myself.
Do people think I'm cool
if I hang out with cool people?
That's right. Now we got to it.
-Assholes.
Wait a minute. It will be soon.
Double Penetration.
Fuck you.
Hitler had only one test technician.
I wish I had a big dick.
I tried ...
Thank you.
I tried to get into.
I'm just Tili me.
The Great Hercules.
Sorry.
Guys ...
Hannah has not ... What the hell.
Is not it wonderful?
Come and see where the hell you want.
Should we sleep in the same room?
I do not really know.
You want to touch me where I pee?
Yes, and poops.
What are you doing?
-I do not like cheese.
I thought you liked 0pcs.
-Fan. What could I say?
I do not like cheese. Four difficult words.
There's nothing wrong with cheese.
RELISH
Pigs.
I will probably be
a dejtls poor lifetime.
You gave up pretty easily.
If it were not for Ramps Sand
I feel evil.