Hum Tum (2004)

You and I...
Because I love you
Boys get together and go out
Girls get together and chat
How will we get together?
Deep in my heart, you and I
Daylongs of longings
whenever you're nowhere near
Who all were you with?
So if you love me?
Why didn't you profess your love
and you fought me off?
Now come into my arms
First of all God created the world.
Then he went off to sleep over it...
and He conjured up
a guy and He was glad
So He wanted to dream on and on.
That's when He made
His biggest mistake
He created a Girl.
Which done, He lost his sleep.
So we lost our sleep too. For good
And the world was split
into two halves
girls and guys, like you and I
So what do we do about
...you and I?
Renowned cartoonist Karan Kapoor's
debut novel "Hum-Tum"...
is a national bestseller
First week sales crossed 10,000 copies
with orders of ten thousand more
Karan Kapoor joins the press
in a first look after this grand success
How does a cartoonist turn into author?
Tried cartoons, now I'm trying words,
hoping to understand
...women, someday
Come to grips with that understanding?
Hopefully, after a few more books
And you'll write only on women?
Anything better, more interesting?
Notwithstanding your
digs at girls... - Indeed...
I think your novel is woven around...
your real life experience.
Look... when love is requited...
there's no story left to be told.
A failed romance isn't worth talking
And unrequited love?
True love never goes unrequited
It's consummated, one day or another.
Because life's a long while
Many such romances in your life?
Only one object of romance.
But the romances
she sparked were many
Silence
Mamma, enough
- Rhea, stop it
My daughter is going abroad...
Who else in the family ever went?
Who else in our colony? Ever?
I've packed lots of snacks for you
Spiced grams, pickles, sweets
Eat almonds every day,
sharpens your brains
I'll miss you Mamma
I will also, child
Hey gorgeous
Karan, where have you been?
Something forgotten
back in the car? - Yes
Oh car keys
You see...
- Don't even start
I don't care whoever she was.
Who said I was with any girl?
You got the passport, tickets?
Mom I'm going to America. To study.
I think I can take care of myself
Rubbish
Hey brother
Don't hey brother me, okay?
I got your passport, tickets
What would I do without you Mihir?
Grow up, okay?
Sure, Karan grows up someday
Hear that?
Thank God Shalini is in New York.
She'll take care of you
Don't remind me.
- She's your girlfriend
So? Never take girls too seriously
Girls are like buses.
There's one every
two minutes, traffic permitting
I disapprove of your attitude
towards girls.
And I've told you that before Girls...
Are mothers, sisters. I know
But not my sisters
You will learn to show respect to women.
Says who that I don't respect women?
I respect you, I respect Indira Gandhi
Mother Teresa, Mother India, Miss India
Sorry
Keep Him on your desk.
Lord Ganesha
Thank you for sparing me that melodrama
Look
One minute Rhea...
Mamma enough. I'm off
- Listen
I'll be late for my flight
I'll spank you
if you don't stop right there
Oblations from our Goddess of Succour.
Give it to the poor in America
Never argue, my child.
Do one good deed
then you'll deserve a good turn
My tigress. Bye, wish you
good luck.
Hoist those pants
Yes one minute
Your dad
- Your husband.
I wish you'd
mention him with a smile
Yes, I got the passport
I was thinking, this time for a change
why not holiday with
me in New York?
The way he talked,
I think he misses you
In all these seven years,
did he care to call me up even once?
Better for you if you
stay out of this mess.
Concentrate on your studies
- Yes, studies
Mihir, you'll take care of Ma?
Like you always take care of her?
You make nice-sounding parting shots
like take care of Ma etc... etc
Bye Karan.
- Take care
I hope he does fine
You're worrying about him?
I pity the girls out there
They don't know what's coming their way.
No hi out of the blue
I won't even glance at her.
Not even if she is eyeing me.
Praise the name of The Lord
Preserve the name of The Lord
Not one nice airhostess
you know beer-dinner-playing
hard to get was a waste of time
When it's too late to even say hi...
Then you ask for a magazine
Know what, for three hours we've been
only two inches from each other...
without knowing each other's names.
Why didn't you ask before?
Rhea Prakash
Karan Kapoor
You can call me Karoo
The makings of a highly
interesting acquaintance?
You and I
Not as in yourself and me
Let's make a guess. You're the tea type
Nice you avoid tea.
You know, tea types?
My mother prefers tea
Just what I was about to say. Tea types
are conservative mothers, grandmothers
Today's woman prefers coffee not tea
Hello... sleeping beauty... rise and shine
Our New York flight is six hours away
Airport squatting is boring.
Let's take a tour of Amsterdam
You got a visa. - How did you know?
I checked your passport.
- You rifled my bag?
You were asleep. I was bored.
So I thought how I'd kill some time
You don't open a lady's handbag.
Why what's inside a lady's handbag?
Okay I stand corrected.
I'd never do it again
I can't believe you rifled
my bag. - I said I'm sorry
Where are you headed? - I thought
we'd sight see Amsterdam
So where does our story end?
- Story? Ours?
Every one has a story.
So when we meet others, our stories meet
We'll spend lots of time together and
We'll look each other up in New York
Or we might say goodbyes
and never meet again
No matter how long or how short,
here's a tale of the two of us
Keep. Euro 1.40
- What was that?
My fare- Don't be silly.
Only 75 Rupees
Fifty-fifty.
Why must you spend on my tickets?
Yes, how are we related?
I was about to crack another bad joke
Here's where we are.
And there's where we're headed
Why do people smoke?
Unless you try how will you know?
It's amazing
Why do people smoke?
I thought we're taking this tour together
Why do you guys
always walk ahead of girls?
Why are girls always a step behind?
We walk ahead to show the way
and we follow so we can support you
We decided not to see
boring museums.
When did we decide?
Okay, we're deciding now.
Museums are for kids, school
teachers and old people
I'm off
You'll leave me all alone?
You will leave a
girl all alone in Amsterdam?
How will I get to the airport on my own?
Fine. You go your way. I'll go mine.
Done with your museum?
God
- What have I done?
Why were
you staring at that girl?
Your x-ray eyes see
through dresses? - I wish
Karan how would you feel
if you were ogled at by a girl?
Thank God, not all guys think like you
Not all guys think like that?
You seriously think so?
You mean every guy is looking
for the same thing from a girl?
And what if he doesn't get it?
- We cover up with lies
Lies?
So what's your lie?
Your lies
When a girl smiles at me...
I tell my friends, look,
she gave me her telephone number
When she gives me her telephone number
I'll tell that I took her out
When I take her out,
I'll say that I held her hand
When she holds my hand, I'll say...
I kissed her
After I've kissed her,
I'll say...
And talking about us,
what lies will you tell your friends?
Why does she take
everything so seriously?
You'll never figure why...
no girl's ever like a guy
She thinks harder
but she knows lesser
Whatever her heart tells
she'll do quite something else
I'll never figure why
she isn't like a guy
There's romance lurking in her heart
but she wants you to make a start
And when she's rattled
It's her locks that she ruffled"
I mean you're all the same
We're nice friends,
I never thought of you that way
Sounds fine, but it
never came to my mind
Up close she says
you're so special
and soon nothing about
you is good enough"
What an awful shirt
What a haircut
Stop speeding
Stop hogging
Give me a break
Up close she wants to change your life
the spell she casts can ruin your life"
You'll fall for her words
then you'll know why...
what started with
a laugh ends in a cry
And you'll never figure why
she's so unlike a guy
If happiness is being alone
what makes you such a flirt?
The thousand gifts you shower on her
for what were all those flowers?
You didn't tell me your name
How about a coffee?
Can I drop you home?
When do I get to see you next?
It's a wayward life you've
lived living like a tramp
But you'll insist you're different
why are you so vain?
That wet towel on the floor
Cap of the toothpaste tube missing
Wear used socks inside out
Never knows how time flies?
How to live a life, she shows you
She makes something human out of you
Not one moment can
you live without her
And she knows what
you can't tell her
That's just why no girl's are like a guy
All sorts of strange dates
she'll always call to mind
Love can be forgotten
but forgetting a date is crime
On 1 st March, we looked at each other.
May 21. You touched me
June 6. I felt something stirring
Can't trust a guy,
these guys are so fast
Now he's here, now he's gone
no telling how long he'll last
Your Mummy-Daddy aren't at home?
Great! Can I come over?
Your friend is going home alone.
Poor thing, shall I escort her?
She'll lead you up the street
before she says yes
She's enjoying herself
while you're getting harassed
She's shy, that's why
But if she said yes ever
she's is avowed forever
That's just why a girl's
different from a guy
Someone, shut her up
All right, what's the quarrel?
Like a bee he comes singing his song
then he's busy,
I got the timing wrong"
Oh come on Rhea
Please, I'm busy or I'd never...
So what, you'll live
in my heart forever
The beauty he fell for
once is now so boring...
and before you know it,
his eyes have begun philandering
You can't live on love and fresh air.
Why not take up interior decoration?
I kissed you. You slapped me.
Scores settled?
Now you're going to listen
I thought you're a nice guy,
only a little stupid
And you got me all wrong
Because it was I who broke the ice
on the plane? Because...
I went out with you in Amsterdam,
tried puffing a cigarette...
you thought I was all laid out for you?
How true. Guys like you expect
only one thing from any girl
Such strange notions
You wanted to know?
How our story ends?
There's no story about us
There's only "The End"
and this is the end
Life's a long while
You and I... unlike other
guys and girls we won't fight
Stop whistling. It's not nice
I'm not whistling at a girl
You go whistling after girls?
You go whistling at girls
and you say I'm sick?
I never whistled at anyone
and I didn't say I wouldn't fight
No point telling the
truth to girls- Meaning?
For example, in that dress
you don't look fat
I look fat in this dress?
I don't look fat for the dress.
It's the pink.
Pink makes me look fat
Neither you nor your
dress is to blame.
Pink takes the blame
Oh God
I'm serious. I look slim in blue
I'll be back.
- Where are you going?
Where am I going... hot dog
One for me. - Okay
I knew! It's... you
I knew too. I'm avoiding you
You're still angry?
Rhea, I was only...
You transpired. It's bound to happen.
- Forget it. Now we meet...
after 6 months in New York.
Like I told you...
between us, there's a story.
- And what about your other story?
Which story?
- The one behind the tree...
in which you were doing whatever...
- Who me? No man...
Rhea? - Shalini
Rhea! In New York?
- Yes, studying fashion designing
And you?
- Columbia University
Rhea have you met my boyfriend?
Karan is your boyfriend?
- Yes. Ever since college In Delhi
Rhea and I were classmates in school.
Your friend from school? That's nice
We never saw each other
after we went to college
How do you know each other?
Karan. He's your boyfriend
Rhea is your friend from school
If one of you isn't telling
How you met up, I'll scream. Right now
No baby, no
Excuse me
- Come darling, I'll tell you
When we met in Amsterdam...
Shalini was still your girlfriend?
You went to Amsterdam?
Come, I'll tell you everything
Shalini, I'll tell you
how we met up in Amsterdam
I got some work. I'll see you.
- What work?
I'll tell you when I remember
Come here
He's a real jerk. I swear!
He actually kissed me. I slapped him
Behind every successful
man there's a woman
Of course
That's because girls never
run after guys who don't succeed
You must rig the tent in four days
Mr. Mishra, we've organised
so many weddings together...
I've given you so much business.
And now in the eleventh hour...
no, you must do something. Please
Assurances and assurances.
Nothing ever seems to happen
Why are you staring at me?
Get on with your jobs
Nothing for breakfast?
I only got to ask for breakfast
and you break into tears?
The tent isn't up.
Mr. Sharma's wife is in labour
And even that cow is sick!!!
Why haven't you taken a haircut?
This is my Tom Cruise look
- Tom Cruise look!
I told you, stop organising weddings.
- Karan, please leave me alone
I'll make myself breakfast.
You want anything?
Karan, what are you doing next week?
- Next week?
I don't know about today and
you ask me about a week ahead
I've never planned so long ahead
Because you're going to
help me out with this wedding
I'm supposed to organise weddings?
- I'm not asking. I'm ordering you
No way! I can't do all this,
I won't get into all this
Sahib, what goes in between?
White flowers? Greens or marigolds?
What do you feel?
- Marigolds could be better
I used marigolds for my wedding.
- Then go ahead, why ask me?
Not Oye. My name is Jhallo Ram.
- Take your basket away
Susie, don't believe Natasha
She and I are just friends.
Nothing happened between us
I don't care. I just called to say
that boss has cancelled your leave
If you don't report for
work today you're fired
Let him do that
He was very serious
- Even I'm very serious
The Times of India has made an offer.
They'll carry my Hum-Tum cartoons daily
And the money is nice.
So who cares for this nine-to-fiver?
Right Tuka Ram?
- No. Jhallo Ram
The bride's people have arrived
Susie, the bride's people have arrived
Suji... the stuff for making
sweets? (Suji: Semolina)
Jhallo Ram. Unload the stuff
Where is the electricity generator?
Nothing's on time if I'm not around
Remove that basket
Nice venue for a wedding
A wedding villa is a fun place.
How far away is your bridegroom?
Hum-Tum! I always browse the strip
in the Sunday Times of India
My Hum-Tum is so popular among girls?
- Yours? Hum-Tum are very cute
Right. You and I are cute
Damn tent
Something awful always happens
whenever I see you
Whatever happened to your hair?
- It's my Tom Cruise look
You won't understand.
Not your level. This is fashion
What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
I'm in charge of wedding plans here
That's obvious. - Actually
it's my Ma. I'm helping her
That's so sweet. - Right? See, so sweet
What are you doing here?
- You're organising the wedding?
And you don't know
who the bride is? - Who?
You're marrying so late?
You could've mothered three
kids by now. Have you?
would've mended your mind
Some guys never change
My bags are inside the car.
Have them delivered to my room
You think I'm a porter? - Likewise
What's up? - How many kilos of candies?
Who wants candies?
I hate them. Who asked for it?
The bride's mother.
- Who chooses sweets for the wedding?
The bride's mother? Or I?
- You're the boss
Get ten kilos of pastries. - Done
Greetings. - Greetings
I'm the bride's mother. Sorry, you
should've said you hate candies
I'd never have asked for those
Aunty, I was only...
Aunty? How can you call me aunty?
Jhallo Ram where are you going?
- To buy your pastries
I was just joking. What did
the bride's mother ask for?
Candies. - Then candy it is
Buy 10 kilos. No, 15 kilos
Many thanks
You're Anju's son? - Yes Aunty
What's this cursed Aunty-Aunty?
In our times, we married early
we had our babies fast
If you insist...
you can add a Bobby with Aunty.
The name's Mrs. Parminder Prakash
But everyone calls me Bobby
Aunty. It is my pet name
If I may say so,
you're as beautiful as the
legendary danseuse Umrao Jaan
I've been noticing you all along.
Your poise, your grace...
today's girls have none of it.
Now take your daughter
Son... even I've been
noticing you all day,
striding like a tiger... showing off your
stripes to the girls. - Not I...
Come off it. Wish you good luck
Please... - Karan...
Yes Bobby Aunty? - Shut up
Shut up
Not Priya. Pooja
I think Priya suits you more.
Can I call you Priya?
Find a car for me
Your friends and family
just hijacked all the cars
And my designer wants me to try out
my wedding gown right now
Get me a cab
Here's a village.
You won't spot a cab
in a 12 mile radius
There's a way
Why aren't you attending the ritual?
You aren't supposed to meet your fiance
two days before the wedding
Is it an arranged match? Or love?
What do you mean? - Sameer and
I went to college together
He proposed
He's smart, sensitive,
successful, mature...
unlike you. Find-my-towel-type.
- What's find-my-towel-type?
Like someone who'd scream
from the bathroom...
Where's my towel, my shoes
...where's the newspaper?
Just peas and potatoes?
You expect your Sameer
won't ask you to find
his towel after the wedding?
In New York you lived with Sameer?
- Before my wedding? Are you mad?
Don't tell me you never?
- What?
Why should I tell you that?
- That means no. I knew it
Rhea, Pooja said your Sameer
is some computer engineer
Sounds quite serious and quite boring
Being a computer engineer dosen't
make him serious and boring
Unlike you, he isn't an immature fool
Had I been more mature,
you would've considered me?
Shut up Karan. I'm getting married
in two days. You're sick
Did I ask you to marry me?
She takes everything so seriously
I don't see your husband.
He's in the catering business?
You're in the weddings' business,
he's in the catering business?
Wonderful! Wish you good luck.
- No, he's a photographer
Even better! He's going
to shoot the wedding photos?
No, he's a fashion photographer.
Besides he doesn't live in India
In fact, we've separated. - So what?
I've separated from my husband too.
It was a matter of life and death
Bobby, you're a wonderful
example of perseverance
Somewhat true. But Anju,
you've got it going for you
You run a thriving wedding business.
And all you have is one son
You haven't a worry in life
Of course I worry. Mention marriage
and Karan runs scared
Why?
Marriage is the end of
love and romance
Taking a potshot at marriage?
Does he know what love and romance is?
What would she know?
She's getting hitched
You tell me, did Adam
and Eve marry? - No...
They didn't and they basked
in their un-marital bliss
Look at legends. Romeo and Juliet.
Did they marry?
No. - They didn't
Did Heer marry Ranjha? - No
Did Shirin and Farhad marry? - No
Ever wondered why? - Why?
I'll tell you why.
Marriage would've
spelled doom for their romance
They could never have
become legendary lovers
So I tell you, if you wish
to find true love, never marry
Fall in love, like me
What rubbish
Nonsense
Yet every romantic legend stopped
short of a wedding? How come?
You ever heard a story told about
the romance of any married couple?
Of course.
And everyone in the world knows
Emperor Shah Jahan
gave his wife Mumtaz
the finest tribute to love. Taj Mahal
Chocolate heroes
They're screaming for love...
these roadside romeos...
but they'll duck the wedding
Chocolate heroes
Deep down inside whatever he is...
he'll put up a heroic posture
All day he's ogling books...
full of girlie posters
He'll say life's a carnival...
but marriage is trouble
So show him the door
Chocolate hero
Talk of marrying...
and he throws a fit
Talk of living-in...
you'll find he swears by it
In every girl he finds romance
But commitment, not a chance
He'll never find Juliet
so Romeo loses his shirt
Chocolate heroes
He'll grow up to become
an ageing beast...
and the coughing will rack
his ancient chest...
he won't find a helping hand...
then he'll miss love's caring wand
When he is abandoned,
then he will repent
And then finally,
he will remember me
The bridegroom has come.
What's all this excitement over?
Fetching the bridegroom?
He's bound to turn up, isn't he?
If he fails to turn up...
then you've reason for excitement...
the bridegroom is missing...
What a naughty boy
Where ends our story?
Story? Ours?
A story is happening around every one.
When we meet others, our stories meet"
There's no story about us. There's only
The End
I wish Mamma was here
You know she's busy at home.
If she could've come, she would
Carrying prayer candles
What? - Always transpires
with prayer candles
Mamma, I thought you wouldn't make it
I was held up
I thought I'd miss your flight.
But Karan took care of everything
Friend's colony?
I live in Friends Colony too
Sorry, I lied. Actually
I live in Kailash Colony
But now that we've met
Let's meet up more
No use
No use. You'll end up taking her out,
splurging on her...
And when you're dropping her home
you'll hope she asks you in for coffee
She won't
How can you say?
Even I did my bit. But don't worry
my success rate wasn't hundred percent
Many a times, I was
left thirsting for coffee
You think I don't think like you?
For you as many girls as you wish?
For me, only one for a whole lifetime?
Don't worry, Rhea didn't
make a wrong decision
No boring scenes as in when I suddenly
realise that you're in love with Rhea
Even if he does, too bad
We need women more than they need us
And somewhere inside all of us guys,
there's a kid who refuses to grow up
No matter... how feeble
she might seem...
but in here we're far weaker
But you won't understand now
The day you find your Rhea, you'll know
You always appear just
when I've forgotten all about you
Which means, you think of me
all the time when I'm away
I never meant that
If you wish never to see me again...
you must think of me always
Because when you've
forgotten all about me...
I'll make my appearance- Yes
But if you're thinking of me always
you're actually wishing you'd see me
Right?
Yes... no...
That's why a boy and a girl
can never be friends- Why?
Because you girls always end up
talking about love
Then you and I
will never be friends
Dad, will you ever be on time?
I'm no poet
But my pretty one...
ever since I've seen you...
poetry just dawned upon me
I had heard of love, no doubt
But I didn't know what love was
I remained confused
as confusions generally are...
and remained an enemy among friends
Yet I'm no foe...
but dear pretty one...
having seen you...
I've learnt to make friends
And I was no poet
Nice? Awful?
Your Dad isn't an international
photographer for nothing
Could I find her phone number?
Now Paris? Aren't you tired of
shifting base every year or two?
What's tiring about it?
In the last eight years I've done
New York, Milan and now Paris
Who are you running from?
- Your mother
I won't talk ill of
your mother in front of you
Dad! Not even behind my back
A man has a right to live his life, no?
If not my wife, whom do I criticize...
my neighbour's wife?
Even after all these years of living apart?
You still consider her your wife?
Mom was upset when
we shifted from Delhi.
She's settled down
Your room is over there.
- Thanks
Part of my last year's
photo exhibition
Snacks? - Yes please
Your wife is fine, Dad
Did I ask how she is?
Not in as many words
Good day, mister. Coffee or tea?
Good day, madam. Coffee or tea?
- Coffee.
Like I said, life's a long while
We keep meeting
That was bound to happen
Every time we meet
something always goes wrong
You haven't changed a bit
What are you doing in Paris?
- I run a little boutique here
What are you doing here?
I'm pursuing love between"You and l"
Remember my cartoon characters
Hum-Tum?
You won't believe it, the whole
country is raving about Hum-Tum
Publishers wanted me to write
a novel about Hum-Tum... in which...
they fall in love. Because Paris is
the most romantic city in the world...
here I am, catalysing their romance.
And it's so awful, you're walking out?
No, it's my station.
All the best for your Hum-Tum
Say hi to Sameer
Sameer is no longer part of my life
That's a sandwich.
Meant to be eaten, not ogled
Should I call her up Dad?
- Certainly not
Wait till the next summer
I want to talk to her,
I want to know what happened to her
She isn't the same old Rhea
But she doesn't have a nice impression
of me.
Hope she doesn't get me wrong
If you wish to do a good turn,
do it. Don't hesitate
If you keep mulling over it
you'll end up nowhere
Who will eat that food? Your Dad?
Not a bad idea, who wants to diet?
Can I speak to Rhea?
Who's calling?
I'm hearing Hindi after ages
Umrao Jaan, is that you? - Umrao Jaan?
Aunty, I'm Karan. Karan Kapoor.
Mrs. Kapoor's son
Is that you Tiger?
Where are you calling from?
I'm calling from Paris.
You needn't raise your voice
Shut up, I'm tired of talking
in hushed tones
Blast their diction, they always
seem to be conspiring in whispers
If you're in Paris aren't
you coming over to see us?
Give me your address and
I'll be over in a flash
Address? You know how
these names sound
...I went to school till 8th standard
Yes I can manage English,
but this language...
never heard anything like it
French... never speak what they write.
More like they are gargling.
I'll give it a try. Write
It's a red building on the street.
I can't manage the name of the house
Made of olden type red bricks
Sometime in life some things happen
and you lose faith in God
Did Sameer and Rhea hurt anyone?
Just after their first anniversary...
like everyday Sameer
was leaving for work
Some college students jumped
a traffic signal for the fun of it
And in a moment's time,
Rhea's life changed forever
Time was when she lit up my life
whenever she came home
Nowadays she's so quiet...
She left America, India...
and now she's here...
where she knows no one
and no one knows her
I think she wants
to get lost in the crowds
Now it's as if Rhea is lost herself
My Rhea lived life on her own terms;
in life's hands, she suffers her defeat
Just met your mother
Can I share your umbrella?
In life, how often...
Sometimes whatever happens to us...
God what am I saying?
Whatever I say, what use...
You're home
And you couldn't even say
how you liked the conversation
Thank you Karan - What for?
For what you've been trying to say
Hey Rhea, can I borrow your umbrella?
One minute... your phone.
Who is it? - No idea
This is such a problem.
I grasp
Neither the language nor the cuisine
I end up eating what I never ordered.
And I get to return your umbrella
No Karan. Not lunch.
I'm busy tomorrow
He only asked you out for lunch
You could've said dinner
All day you sit at home.
You could do with an outing
What a life. Home-to-boutique-to-home
I'm only watching my thriller
Lovely song. Shammi Kapoor is a star
My darling baby
Finding that Chinese
restaurant was tough
You said you'd be busy.
So I thought let's have lunch here
Come on, I am famished
Why are you doing this, Karan?
Why this expression of sympathy?
This is the reason
why I didn't
return to India after Sameer died
I hate seeing people pitying me
The food bill. 32 Euros
Your share is 16 Euros. Remember?
You only said fifty-fifty
Can we eat? I'm really hungry
Lovely food
How did you find out I like Chinese?
- I never knew. I love Chinese
Eat in peace.
Let me take care of her
Pretty child. - Thank you
Something about me?
- I only said she's a pretty child
You picked up French so fast?
Must know the language where you live
I seem to be able to make do
with Hindi anywhere in the world
If they don't know Hindi
I make sure I teach them some
If I don't teach Hindi
to those French kids...
you can change my
name to something French
But if I succeed, you'll
do as I say. - Do what?
Chuck up every woe
Chuck it, I'm with you
Try and smile once
Let hues of the Spring
blossom once again
Sing a new song, strike a new melody
It's a new season, it's a new day
Chuck it...
chuck every woe
Chuck it, I'm with you
Unleash new joys,
sing a new rhapsody
Let loose your moorings
ride new waves of ecstasy
Get the bounce on your feet
let dance the sands at your feet
Feel your spirits rise
and reach for the skies
It's the only life you ever had
through twists and turns, good or bad
Hug every moment, get life's feel.
Smile, life's joys you can steal
What are you doing? My bags...
I don't run a hotel.
If you're living
with me, you'll socialize with me
If you're seeing only Rhea
find someplace else
Out you go.
You're not staying with me
These dramatics don't suit you.
Open the door
Spending so much time with a girl
doesn't suit you either
By the way, is it serious?
What an awkward monologue with
a door.
On one condition.
You'll introduce me to Rhea
Rhea has invited us to lunch tomorrow
The door was open?
You think I'm a bad dad
who'll lock his son out in the cold?
I'm a bad boy
Excuse me...
Is Karan in?
I am Arjun Kapoor. Good day.
- Good day. I'm Nicole
Welcome
Namaste. - Namaste
So you are Karan's "bau'ji"...
- "Bau'ji"?
Myself Mrs. Parminder Prakash.
You can call me Bobby
I'd rather call you Dimple,
the actress who played Bobby
Your Bau'ji is very
colourful, Karan. - Dad...
Flowers for my Umrao Jaan.
- Lovely flowers. Nice boy
I wish I had carried those flowers
Please come in
Do come inside
Nice house. - Thank you
So you've taken after your father
Son...
I want to see Rhea married again
You ought to talk to my mother
She organizes weddings
Silly, I didn't mean that
You aren't talking about me?
- I love my daughter dearly
Would I ever want her to marry
someone like you?
Thank God. I was scared
Life is meant to be lived
...to the fullest
I know what Ioneliness means
At least I had Rhea
After I'm gone, who stays with Rhea?
Everyone of us needs someone...
For company, love, support
But I have a feeling
That Rhea will refuse to agree
That's why she is living here.
But whom will she find here?
But son, if we can find a
nice boy I think it'll work out
So you're looking for
someone conservative, homely...
Because interesting boys like you
Never make nice husbands
What happened uncle?
Nothing, just remembered someone
I met her a few years ago.
She's very beautiful
The only beauty I could never capture
In my camera
nor into my life
I should not be asking, but...
- Then don't ask
Come in, I'll tell you
I was just back from London
after a course in photography
Then I met Anju
Anju's world was very different
from mine.
She was plain Simple girl.
With a strong mind
That's the quality in her
that sets her apart
You may have conquered the world, but...
We married
To make each other happy,
initially we made our compromises
Like where-are-you-going, who-is-she?
Maybe I was not prepared for marriage
Afterwards questions that had
never been raised cropped up
I guess I was not ready for marriage.
With time, there was more work,
more quarrels. In a fit of rage...
I took up a six-month
assignment in America
She asked not a question,
I gave no answers
For six months I waited for a call
from her;
maybe she waited for mine
Then six months became a year
and years became ages.
On one count I'm grateful to her
She never let Karan feel
the distance between us
I don't know why I'm telling you this
...I never even confided in myself
Neither to me
Wish you had tried atleast once...
So neither have you
been able to forgive me
I forgave you long ago, Dad.
But I never got over what you did
Maybe you ought to say sorry
to someone else
You must think I'm evil
No one's evil. Evil
are the times that befall
You're saying I've fallen
into evil times
There you are. Come inside.
I don't serve a bad lunch
Sure... - Out there
it's colder than Amritsar
I never could bring up
this topic with my dad
If you tell anyone I cried
The one with the dog?
You're incorrigible!
I wonder what her mother's like. - What?
Rhea, father and son are incorrigible
Let's go in.
You aren't dressed yet?
Not going to the airport? Get dressed
Spare me. - Why?
I can't bid goodbyes
Getting late, I should make a move
Remember, we met at the airport
After that first meeting...
Of course not
That's why you tried to kiss me
Only tried?
Then I hated you so much all
because...
you didn't know how to talk,
you had no respect for women...
you were so ill-mannered and irritating
After all these years
you remember everything about me?
Did you hit upon a story
for your Hum-Tum?
I have something in mind. In the end
who know's Hum-Tum may fall in love
You know Karan, I didn't think
I would ever admit this to you
We're going to see each other
very soon. Guess why?
Because though life's a long while
we have very little time
Are we going to be friends now?
Friends? But you always said
you'd never make friends with girls
Pretty girls are the exception
And I am not pretty! - When did I say that?
Are you saying I'm pretty?
Rhea is coming after 3 days? - Yes
Whose friend is she,
yours or mine? - Mine
And am I your chauffeur
or secretary? - Neither
Then why do you want me to
pick her up from the airport?
Because I want you to marry her
You want me to marry Rhea?
- Exactly
Come on Mihir, you're
perfect for each other
If Rhea is perfect
why don't you marry her?
I can't marry Rhea. - Why?
I'm the sort a mother
would warn her daughter about
I know Rhea. She needs
a mature, experienced guy
In three days, Rhea is coming.
Pick her up at the airport
If you don't like her
you needn't see her ever again
When did I say yes?
- You didn't say no
I can't believe it
...I'm doing your bidding
If Rhea realizes that I'm introducing
the two of you
After the wedding,
can I tell her we're married?
Not bad!
Already contemplating the marriage?
Rhea is putting up with her aunt.
She knows the address
Come on, I'm busy. Hang up
Australia fields so well
even in video games
Yes... you?
Karan's friend. Not chauffeur so...
So you are Mihir.
Myself Mrs. Parminder Prakash
How handsome
You're just like Karan described you
Karan described?
No... he didn't. He only said
Mihir would receive us in his stead
You couldn't tell me that before?
- Such a long flight. I'm at wits' end
Something cropped up suddenly.
Karan is busy... so I had to come
Suddenly? But you said
Karan informed my Mummy about you...
The car is parked outside. Shall we?
Which car do you have?
Just asking, because
we've got so much luggage
There's something about India
The country has a smell of it's own...
Iook, kids defecating along the kerb
Nice to be here
Son what do you do?
- I run a business in computers
I see. How much turnover?
Rhea is also a computer buff- Really?
Not much, except office computing
Karan says you run a store in Paris.
- Not store. Boutique of Indian designs
Boutique is a store, no?
You come into India and you grab
a paper! Always reading
Times of India carries Karan's Hum-Tum
This Karan is... - Yes Karan...
Yes this Karan is...
I just joined the chorus
In Bombay you don't
disconnect phones at night?
You're angry? Okay I'm going home
I'm famished.
Can I find something to eat?
Mamma is right.
Your country is your own
Who told you to live in Paris?
If I stayed in India, everyone would've
begun to insist that I marry again
After Sameer died,
I wasn't interested anymore
You can't stop loving someone because
he's dead. I'll always love Sameer
But does it mean that you can't
pick up the threads of your life?
True. But to start afresh
one needs a good companion
Not someone in an arranged marriage.
- What if you might find someone?
I think arranged marriages work
Let's pretend I'm here
to look up an arranged match
Pretences at 2 am!
Hello Rhea I'm Champak Bhumiya
Your aunt's niece's daughter'
friend speaks highly of you
She says we're perfect for
each other. Made for each other
Not Champak Bhumiya.
If a genuine, smart guy...
asks you whether
after so many years in Paris...
will you be able to adjust to
Bombay life? With me?
Okay what were you asking?
- After Paris...
will you be able to adjust in Bombay?
- More important than the city...
is adjustment between people.
If two people are happy together...
Bombay or Paris, what difference?
After the marriage, will you work?
- You don't want me to work afterwards?
I think every woman should work.
Not as a pass time. Serious work. Like you
Now what about kids.
- What about kids?
Not you. Aren't you supposed to ask me?
Whether I love kids?
Yes, do you love kids? - Of course
First I want a daughter.
Beautiful, intelligent. Like you
I'll make a fine daddy
If I find someone like me flirting
with her, I'll break his legs
You think that will make you a fine daddy?
- Look you'll make a fine mother
What harm if I spoil the kids a little bit?
So I do all the hard work
and you have all the fun?
Yes, look at it from my point of view
and it's a wonderful marriage
A puppy is all it'll take
to complete the family portrait
Let's call him Tommy. - Awful name
Okay Tommy. On one condition.
You take Tommy out for walks
I'll only feed him morsels from my plate.
"Tommy, take"
Apart from spoiling the kids and Tommy
what else will you do?
What else is left to be done?
I'll live happily ever after...
with my kids and Tommy
...and of course, you. Sorry
So I come after the kids and Tommy.
With you. - I come after
the kids and Tommy?
Mention me after the kids and Tommy
and I'll hack you into small bits...
and I'll feed you to Tommy.
- Okay I'm sorry. No more kids-or-Tommy
I'll always love you
more than anyone else
See how easy it is to discuss
an arranged marriage?
We almost got married
How are you? - How are you?
You look gorgeous.
- I ought to be telling you that
Sit. How about coffee, tea, juice?
- Just coming from our place
And you know Mamma never lets
me leave before breakfast
How is she?
But Rhea, these formalities...
Actually Karan's dad
has sent it for you
He's fine
Rhea, I'm the one
who makes your Ma laugh all the time
And you make my Mom upset
as soon as you step in
Don't fall for what she says
I hope they send 150 pieces. I'll pay
after I've checked the consignment
If I find a one-piece short
in the shipment... - God! One piece...
how much poorer will it make you,
how much richer will he become?
You women are forever cribbing over
one Rupee, one potato, one coriander leaf...
why fight over trivia?
- It isn't about money. It's principle
But why discuss principles with you?
Yes Mihir, come over, park the car
Mihir is coming?
- Yes... I forgot to ask you...
how did you find Mihir? - Okay
But what is Mihir doing here?
- I thought we'd have lunch together
Here he is
So how was your shopping?
I wasn't shopping. It was business
I'm hungry. Where are we going for lunch?
What happened?
- Lunch reminds me...
I have to meet Diana.
- Who's this lady?
Just a friend. Met her a week ago.
Strictly business
Not your first lunch date with Diana?
- Lunch, yes For the first time
Couple of days ago
we went out for dinner
You go ahead and have lunch.
I'll see
you afterwards for coffee. Got to run
I know a great joint for grilled fish.
I don't like grilled fish
Where to? China garden? Delhi Durbar?
- I forgot... Mamma has cooked lunch
Will you drop me home?
Next to your place
there's a Dosa Diner
Today's my birthday
Strange! Karan never told me.
- Karan must've forgotten
Strange, you never reminded me
it's your birthday
Sorry, I forgot that you forget.
- Never mind. Eat cake
Something tells me
I'm forgetting something
Enough of your apologies!
You forget that you invited me?
I waited for you for ages
Don't ask me how I know you're Rhea
What sort of birthday? No champagne?
Mihir you didn't tell me what you do.
- I run a computer company. Micro India
We design computer systems
Really? All the computers in
my office were sourced from you?
Wiz Entertainment.
- You're Diana Fernandez?
No wonder your voice sounded familiar.
We've spoken several times on the phone
You actually spoke to her or you heard
of her conversations over the phone?
After so many conversations
now we meet... amazing
How amazing
Karan, what a boring song. - Awful song
To that song, for the first time
I danced with a girl
We danced pretty close
Just let them be. - She's a...
How strange. For the many times that
they talked business, they never met
One chance meeting
and they've taken to each other
Somewhat too fast. Who'll say
it's their first meeting?
Sometimes the first look is enough.
Sometimes it takes so many meetings
What? - True
Yes
Your last chance
...no second last chance
I mean Mihir and Diana...
you know...
Mihir and Diana, they're so unlike
I don't know how they liked each other
They're so different
It's widely accepted that
the more varied the match
the better it is for the relationship
She makes up for her husband's flaws;
he makes up for his wife's shortcomings
Which makes for a perfect marriage.
- Rhea, you ought to be writing a book
Principles of Marriage by Rhea
Tonight I'm happy... elated
Guess why?
I just got engaged Mihir and I...
and the person instrumental
in getting us together... is...
If Rhea liked Mihir,
if Mihir liked Rhea...
then you and I
wouldn't have been here today
Karan tried his best to make
Rhea and Mihir fall in love
Then I materialized I guess I got lucky
So... cheers to Rhea once again
Oh Mihir, I love you
Please give me a chance to explain
You've no right to scorn me
Scorn? I was arranging your marriage.
I went away to Paris to avoid this
You know it... because out there no one
would be arranging weddings for me
I don't get it! Why won't people leave
a girl in peace until she's married?
Is marriage the sole
purpose of life for us?
Without a man in her life
a woman's life is incomplete?
What tangent are you getting at?
- And you Karan?
I never expected you to behave like this
Over something so little...
- It's nothing so little
Not everything in life is a joke
So what now?
Do we sit down for a quarrel?
Forget it You don't get what I'm saying
I thought you and Mihir...
- What about Mihir and I?
How can you think like this?
Did you ever ask me what I want?
I only want to see you happy
You think I'll be happy with Mihir?
- Will you be happy with a guy like me?
Now why are you quite?
Love is the problem, isn't it?
Karan was right.
A boy and a girl can never be friends
Because love always comes in the way
How long will you hide
your feelings from each other?
If you expect Karan to make
the first move, forget it
That fool doesn't even
realize he's in love
No one knows Karan more than I
Every year he forgets my birthday, but
each little word about you, he remembers
If not love what else is it?
Loves you dearly
True love is so hard to come by
it happens only once in a lifetime
To have found this
joy twice you're lucky
Simple. I'm not a nice guy
Not a nice guy and
when it comes to girls...
first class scoundrel.
- He's one of us
You get it?
For the first time in my life
I wanted to do good for a girl
Did I do anything wrong? - No
I did. - You did? - Big mistake I did
Big mistake... I broke her heart
The tears... welled up from her heart.
I made her cry
Made her cry?
When her tears stream down here...
why do I ache in here?
Her eyes, her tears
And here it aches?
Is this any justice? - No
Oh yes it's justice
This is justice
If the burden of both tears and pain
were hers, what justice would it be?
Were her tears and her pain to be mine,
justice would be done.
Understood?
Understood. - What can you understand?
She says I don't understand anything.
If I never understood anything...
how come I understand
I'm no match for her
Understand?
Understood. She's coming for you
She isn't after me- Behind you
Hide the glasses.
No drinking in front of a lady
But I can drink because
I'm not a nice guy. Pass my glass
Karan, come home
Rhea, I'm not a nice guy
Not nice
Let our sighs caress
Let subdued heartbeats race
This moment craves... a tryst...
yours and mine
Your eyes let me enchant
In your arms take me as I relent
This moment craves... a tryst...
yours and mine
Let our sighs caress
Slumber's caress smears
the kohl in your eyes
Oh was it a fleeting
carnival of dreams?
Let desire consume us
body and soul
Leave yourself to rock
amid abandon and ecstasy
This moment craves... a tryst...
yours and mine
Caress me...
like symphony's strings
Darkness hidden in your tresses...
let loose, liberate my nights
Wait till night's veil
slips away from her bosom
Wait for dew to moisten her petals
But this moment craves... a tryst...
yours and mine
Calm down
Don't take God's name in vain
Where's Rhea? - She isn't coming
You had a fight with her?
I left it in the car
You don't say shit inside a church
We were supposed to come
together, no? I waited for you
I got busy over here
I can't even face her
Idiot, even his tie isn't matching
What must she think of me?
Why did we take so long
to know each other's minds?
Whatever happened was wrong
Why does it feel so perfect?
I've lost her forever
I don't want to lose him, ever
Is this the end
of our relationship?
The beginning
of a new relationship?
How can I start this conversation?
Please, say something Karan
Whatever happened should
never have come to pass
I mean, I should never have done that
We ought to get married
Yes we ought to get married- Why?
Why do you want to marry me Karan?
Don't get me wrong Rhea
- You're getting me wrong
Do you feel that
whatever happened was wrong?
Yes Rhea. The mistake was mine
Then we ought not to
commit another mistake
We ought not to make another mistake
by marrying for the wrong reasons
Don't get me wrong.
- Enough Karan
You need not say anything more
Need not say anything more
From the outset
I never liked that Mihir
He was always evading questions
How annoying
What makes you laugh?
- I'm not laughing Bobby
You've been laughing at me forever
on the sly. Sarcastically
Where are you going with those
Huge bags? Our flight is next week
What happened, my child?
I'm leaving
I don't know where
...for how long
For four years I kept you away from
your country, your relatives
This time I want to go away alone
I want to come to terms with
my life, with myself, on my own
Let me be on my own Mamma, please
Rhea my child...
home for me is wherever you are
I'll never even ask you
why we're going or where
But don't tear yourself away from me
I'm coming with you. Period
Wait, I'm coming
My darling baby
God can't be everywhere.
That's why He made mothers
Have you finished your breakfast?
What's the matter? It's been two days
and you're completely uncommunicative
And there's no news of Rhea.
Have the two of you had a fight?
This boy is too much
You're not listening, you aren't talking,
you aren't answering phones, doorbells
Just like your Daddy
Whose son is he after all?
You?
Can I come in?
What are you doing here?
- Coming directly from the airport...
to see you. How have
you been? - I'm fine
It shows. How's Rhea?
- What do you want to ask?
I want to know why you're running
away from your life. Like I did
What? - In my personal life...
I took a lot of wrong decisions
which I have come to regret
I had the loveliest, the most
loving wife in the whole world
But I never could understand her
Finally I realised how much
I had been given and what I had lost
Every father wants his son to follow
in his footsteps.
I must be... the first father in the
whole world who prays everyday...
may my son never become like me
But sometimes when I look at you...
I fear I may have passed on to you
my legacy of failures.
I fear... you may lose faith in relationships
because of me
But then I look at Rhea
and my fears are allayed
I feel she's the one who can extricate
my son from the orbs of my shadows
Rhea called me in Paris yesterday
to tell me that she's leaving forever
She'd say no more but I realised
you've proven that you're my son
No one else could ever break
a heart so full of love
Dad I'm in love with Rhea.
But how can she love a guy like me
It's what we fail to grasp about women.
How can they love morons like us?
someone I ought to have worshipped
God never gave me a second chance
You're about to make the same mistake.
Know it, He won't give you a next chance
Karan, where are you going?
After all, I'm your son Dad. In matters
of the heart I'm slow on the uptake
But now that I know, I'm not wasting
The second chance God never gives.
We ought to seize it ourselves...
like my son is doing
Like our son?
For 3 hours we've been only 2 inches
apart
and we don't know each other"
You rifled my bag?
Why must you spend on my tickets?
- Yes, how are we related?
You're organising the wedding
and you don't know who the bride is?
Sameer is no longer part of my life
But to start afresh
one needs a good companion
In the end Hum-Tum might
end up falling in love
I only want to see you happy.
- You think I'll be happy with Mihir?
Will you be happy with a guy like me?
Mention me after the kids and Tommy
and I'll hack you into small bits...
and I'll feed you to Tommy."
Okay I'm sorry. No more kids-or-Tommy
I'll always love you
more than anyone else
Sometimes the first look is enough.
Sometimes it takes so many meetings"
Words...
my eyes spoke...
had you read...
you'd never lose me...
Wait...
if that word... you ever said...
in Ioneliness, we wouldn't walk
Once a moment craved... a tryst...
yours and mine
Only problem with Hum-Tum...
without you I'm incomplete
Many relationships fall apart because
people can't express themselves...
they can't talk their hearts out.
If you got something to tell someone...
just go ahead and say it.
Don't wait, it might be too late
Rhea couldn't understand
my love because...
I was the one who couldn't fathom
my love. Now she's gone...
and I never got a chance
to express myself. Out of this book...
I seek no riches, no fame.
I only want to tell her...
how much I love her
You believe you'll meet her again?
She will meet me. I'm sure...
because life's a long while
Rain in January?
It doesn't rain in January
It was bound to happen, yes Karan?
Because whenever we've met...
something always happens
You read the book?
How did you like it?
Reminded me of a friend
Ever told you about this friend of mine?
Never
I met him long years ago
And you kept seeing him...
till he became my best friend
Then he fell in love with you.
Why did you walk away?
Because he didn't stop me
I don't like your friend one bit
Not a word against my friend
Then what do I say?
What you've never said
That I'll love you more than
the kids and Tommy?
You better! Else I'll cut you
into little bits...
I told you, there's one story about us.
- Is this the end of our story?
No, now's when our story begins
Where are you going?
You didn't hear what he said?
Story isn't over
Who's this guy?
Why is his cot so close
to my daughter's?
He's a new-born!
- You never know these guys
No sooner than they're born
they start flirting with pretty girls
Saw that?
He's using kids' sign language
to call my daughter
If he's like that
I wonder what his mother's like
When did you see his mother?
- Just a joke
When did you see his mother?
Look, your baby is cute.
When did you see his mother?
- I saw his dad. Doesn't resemble him
I thought he must resemble his mother.
You and I...
Because I love you
Boys get together and go out
Girls get together and chat
How will we get together?
Deep in my heart, you and I
Daylongs of longings
whenever you're nowhere near
Who all were you with?
So if you love me?
Why didn't you profess your love
and you fought me off?
Now come into my arms
uKoushiK DaS/u
[ ukoushik-das@wassup.co.in/u ]
[ ukoushik@moviefan.com/u ]
uKoushiK DaS/u
[ ukoushik-das@wassup.co.in/u ]
[ ukoushik@moviefan.com/u ]