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Hum Tum (2004)
You and I...
Because I love you Boys get together and go out Girls get together and chat How will we get together? Deep in my heart, you and I Daylongs of longings whenever you're nowhere near Who all were you with? So if you love me? Why didn't you profess your love and you fought me off? Now come into my arms First of all God created the world. Then he went off to sleep over it... and He conjured up a guy and He was glad So He wanted to dream on and on. That's when He made His biggest mistake He created a Girl. Which done, He lost his sleep. So we lost our sleep too. For good And the world was split into two halves girls and guys, like you and I So what do we do about ...you and I? Renowned cartoonist Karan Kapoor's debut novel "Hum-Tum"... is a national bestseller First week sales crossed 10,000 copies with orders of ten thousand more Karan Kapoor joins the press in a first look after this grand success How does a cartoonist turn into author? Tried cartoons, now I'm trying words, hoping to understand ...women, someday Come to grips with that understanding? Hopefully, after a few more books And you'll write only on women? Anything better, more interesting? Notwithstanding your digs at girls... - Indeed... I think your novel is woven around... your real life experience. Look... when love is requited... there's no story left to be told. A failed romance isn't worth talking And unrequited love? True love never goes unrequited It's consummated, one day or another. Because life's a long while Many such romances in your life? Only one object of romance. But the romances she sparked were many Silence Mamma, enough - Rhea, stop it My daughter is going abroad... Who else in the family ever went? Who else in our colony? Ever? I've packed lots of snacks for you Spiced grams, pickles, sweets Eat almonds every day, sharpens your brains I'll miss you Mamma I will also, child Hey gorgeous Karan, where have you been? Something forgotten back in the car? - Yes Oh car keys You see... - Don't even start I don't care whoever she was. Who said I was with any girl? You got the passport, tickets? Mom I'm going to America. To study. I think I can take care of myself Rubbish Hey brother Don't hey brother me, okay? I got your passport, tickets What would I do without you Mihir? Grow up, okay? Sure, Karan grows up someday Hear that? Thank God Shalini is in New York. She'll take care of you Don't remind me. - She's your girlfriend So? Never take girls too seriously Girls are like buses. There's one every two minutes, traffic permitting I disapprove of your attitude towards girls. And I've told you that before Girls... Are mothers, sisters. I know But not my sisters You will learn to show respect to women. Says who that I don't respect women? I respect you, I respect Indira Gandhi Mother Teresa, Mother India, Miss India Sorry Keep Him on your desk. Lord Ganesha Thank you for sparing me that melodrama Look One minute Rhea... Mamma enough. I'm off - Listen I'll be late for my flight I'll spank you if you don't stop right there Oblations from our Goddess of Succour. Give it to the poor in America Never argue, my child. Do one good deed then you'll deserve a good turn My tigress. Bye, wish you good luck. Hoist those pants Yes one minute Your dad - Your husband. I wish you'd mention him with a smile Yes, I got the passport I was thinking, this time for a change why not holiday with me in New York? The way he talked, I think he misses you In all these seven years, did he care to call me up even once? Better for you if you stay out of this mess. Concentrate on your studies - Yes, studies Mihir, you'll take care of Ma? Like you always take care of her? You make nice-sounding parting shots like take care of Ma etc... etc Bye Karan. - Take care I hope he does fine You're worrying about him? I pity the girls out there They don't know what's coming their way. No hi out of the blue I won't even glance at her. Not even if she is eyeing me. Praise the name of The Lord Preserve the name of The Lord Not one nice airhostess you know beer-dinner-playing hard to get was a waste of time When it's too late to even say hi... Then you ask for a magazine Know what, for three hours we've been only two inches from each other... without knowing each other's names. Why didn't you ask before? Rhea Prakash Karan Kapoor You can call me Karoo The makings of a highly interesting acquaintance? You and I Not as in yourself and me Let's make a guess. You're the tea type Nice you avoid tea. You know, tea types? My mother prefers tea Just what I was about to say. Tea types are conservative mothers, grandmothers Today's woman prefers coffee not tea Hello... sleeping beauty... rise and shine Our New York flight is six hours away Airport squatting is boring. Let's take a tour of Amsterdam You got a visa. - How did you know? I checked your passport. - You rifled my bag? You were asleep. I was bored. So I thought how I'd kill some time You don't open a lady's handbag. Why what's inside a lady's handbag? Okay I stand corrected. I'd never do it again I can't believe you rifled my bag. - I said I'm sorry Where are you headed? - I thought we'd sight see Amsterdam So where does our story end? - Story? Ours? Every one has a story. So when we meet others, our stories meet We'll spend lots of time together and We'll look each other up in New York Or we might say goodbyes and never meet again No matter how long or how short, here's a tale of the two of us Keep. Euro 1.40 - What was that? My fare- Don't be silly. Only 75 Rupees Fifty-fifty. Why must you spend on my tickets? Yes, how are we related? I was about to crack another bad joke Here's where we are. And there's where we're headed Why do people smoke? Unless you try how will you know? It's amazing Why do people smoke? I thought we're taking this tour together Why do you guys always walk ahead of girls? Why are girls always a step behind? We walk ahead to show the way and we follow so we can support you We decided not to see boring museums. When did we decide? Okay, we're deciding now. Museums are for kids, school teachers and old people I'm off You'll leave me all alone? You will leave a girl all alone in Amsterdam? How will I get to the airport on my own? Fine. You go your way. I'll go mine. Done with your museum? God - What have I done? Why were you staring at that girl? Your x-ray eyes see through dresses? - I wish Karan how would you feel if you were ogled at by a girl? Thank God, not all guys think like you Not all guys think like that? You seriously think so? You mean every guy is looking for the same thing from a girl? And what if he doesn't get it? - We cover up with lies Lies? So what's your lie? Your lies When a girl smiles at me... I tell my friends, look, she gave me her telephone number When she gives me her telephone number I'll tell that I took her out When I take her out, I'll say that I held her hand When she holds my hand, I'll say... I kissed her After I've kissed her, I'll say... And talking about us, what lies will you tell your friends? Why does she take everything so seriously? You'll never figure why... no girl's ever like a guy She thinks harder but she knows lesser Whatever her heart tells she'll do quite something else I'll never figure why she isn't like a guy There's romance lurking in her heart but she wants you to make a start And when she's rattled It's her locks that she ruffled" I mean you're all the same We're nice friends, I never thought of you that way Sounds fine, but it never came to my mind Up close she says you're so special and soon nothing about you is good enough" What an awful shirt What a haircut Stop speeding Stop hogging Give me a break Up close she wants to change your life the spell she casts can ruin your life" You'll fall for her words then you'll know why... what started with a laugh ends in a cry And you'll never figure why she's so unlike a guy If happiness is being alone what makes you such a flirt? The thousand gifts you shower on her for what were all those flowers? You didn't tell me your name How about a coffee? Can I drop you home? When do I get to see you next? It's a wayward life you've lived living like a tramp But you'll insist you're different why are you so vain? That wet towel on the floor Cap of the toothpaste tube missing Wear used socks inside out Never knows how time flies? How to live a life, she shows you She makes something human out of you Not one moment can you live without her And she knows what you can't tell her That's just why no girl's are like a guy All sorts of strange dates she'll always call to mind Love can be forgotten but forgetting a date is crime On 1 st March, we looked at each other. May 21. You touched me June 6. I felt something stirring Can't trust a guy, these guys are so fast Now he's here, now he's gone no telling how long he'll last Your Mummy-Daddy aren't at home? Great! Can I come over? Your friend is going home alone. Poor thing, shall I escort her? She'll lead you up the street before she says yes She's enjoying herself while you're getting harassed She's shy, that's why But if she said yes ever she's is avowed forever That's just why a girl's different from a guy Someone, shut her up All right, what's the quarrel? Like a bee he comes singing his song then he's busy, I got the timing wrong" Oh come on Rhea Please, I'm busy or I'd never... So what, you'll live in my heart forever The beauty he fell for once is now so boring... and before you know it, his eyes have begun philandering You can't live on love and fresh air. Why not take up interior decoration? I kissed you. You slapped me. Scores settled? Now you're going to listen I thought you're a nice guy, only a little stupid And you got me all wrong Because it was I who broke the ice on the plane? Because... I went out with you in Amsterdam, tried puffing a cigarette... you thought I was all laid out for you? How true. Guys like you expect only one thing from any girl Such strange notions You wanted to know? How our story ends? There's no story about us There's only "The End" and this is the end Life's a long while You and I... unlike other guys and girls we won't fight Stop whistling. It's not nice I'm not whistling at a girl You go whistling after girls? You go whistling at girls and you say I'm sick? I never whistled at anyone and I didn't say I wouldn't fight No point telling the truth to girls- Meaning? For example, in that dress you don't look fat I look fat in this dress? I don't look fat for the dress. It's the pink. Pink makes me look fat Neither you nor your dress is to blame. Pink takes the blame Oh God I'm serious. I look slim in blue I'll be back. - Where are you going? Where am I going... hot dog One for me. - Okay I knew! It's... you I knew too. I'm avoiding you You're still angry? Rhea, I was only... You transpired. It's bound to happen. - Forget it. Now we meet... after 6 months in New York. Like I told you... between us, there's a story. - And what about your other story? Which story? - The one behind the tree... in which you were doing whatever... - Who me? No man... Rhea? - Shalini Rhea! In New York? - Yes, studying fashion designing And you? - Columbia University Rhea have you met my boyfriend? Karan is your boyfriend? - Yes. Ever since college In Delhi Rhea and I were classmates in school. Your friend from school? That's nice We never saw each other after we went to college How do you know each other? Karan. He's your boyfriend Rhea is your friend from school If one of you isn't telling How you met up, I'll scream. Right now No baby, no Excuse me - Come darling, I'll tell you When we met in Amsterdam... Shalini was still your girlfriend? You went to Amsterdam? Come, I'll tell you everything Shalini, I'll tell you how we met up in Amsterdam I got some work. I'll see you. - What work? I'll tell you when I remember Come here He's a real jerk. I swear! He actually kissed me. I slapped him Behind every successful man there's a woman Of course That's because girls never run after guys who don't succeed You must rig the tent in four days Mr. Mishra, we've organised so many weddings together... I've given you so much business. And now in the eleventh hour... no, you must do something. Please Assurances and assurances. Nothing ever seems to happen Why are you staring at me? Get on with your jobs Nothing for breakfast? I only got to ask for breakfast and you break into tears? The tent isn't up. Mr. Sharma's wife is in labour And even that cow is sick!!! Why haven't you taken a haircut? This is my Tom Cruise look - Tom Cruise look! I told you, stop organising weddings. - Karan, please leave me alone I'll make myself breakfast. You want anything? Karan, what are you doing next week? - Next week? I don't know about today and you ask me about a week ahead I've never planned so long ahead Because you're going to help me out with this wedding I'm supposed to organise weddings? - I'm not asking. I'm ordering you No way! I can't do all this, I won't get into all this Sahib, what goes in between? White flowers? Greens or marigolds? What do you feel? - Marigolds could be better I used marigolds for my wedding. - Then go ahead, why ask me? Not Oye. My name is Jhallo Ram. - Take your basket away Susie, don't believe Natasha She and I are just friends. Nothing happened between us I don't care. I just called to say that boss has cancelled your leave If you don't report for work today you're fired Let him do that He was very serious - Even I'm very serious The Times of India has made an offer. They'll carry my Hum-Tum cartoons daily And the money is nice. So who cares for this nine-to-fiver? Right Tuka Ram? - No. Jhallo Ram The bride's people have arrived Susie, the bride's people have arrived Suji... the stuff for making sweets? (Suji: Semolina) Jhallo Ram. Unload the stuff Where is the electricity generator? Nothing's on time if I'm not around Remove that basket Nice venue for a wedding A wedding villa is a fun place. How far away is your bridegroom? Hum-Tum! I always browse the strip in the Sunday Times of India My Hum-Tum is so popular among girls? - Yours? Hum-Tum are very cute Right. You and I are cute Damn tent Something awful always happens whenever I see you Whatever happened to your hair? - It's my Tom Cruise look You won't understand. Not your level. This is fashion What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? I'm in charge of wedding plans here That's obvious. - Actually it's my Ma. I'm helping her That's so sweet. - Right? See, so sweet What are you doing here? - You're organising the wedding? And you don't know who the bride is? - Who? You're marrying so late? You could've mothered three kids by now. Have you? would've mended your mind Some guys never change My bags are inside the car. Have them delivered to my room You think I'm a porter? - Likewise What's up? - How many kilos of candies? Who wants candies? I hate them. Who asked for it? The bride's mother. - Who chooses sweets for the wedding? The bride's mother? Or I? - You're the boss Get ten kilos of pastries. - Done Greetings. - Greetings I'm the bride's mother. Sorry, you should've said you hate candies I'd never have asked for those Aunty, I was only... Aunty? How can you call me aunty? Jhallo Ram where are you going? - To buy your pastries I was just joking. What did the bride's mother ask for? Candies. - Then candy it is Buy 10 kilos. No, 15 kilos Many thanks You're Anju's son? - Yes Aunty What's this cursed Aunty-Aunty? In our times, we married early we had our babies fast If you insist... you can add a Bobby with Aunty. The name's Mrs. Parminder Prakash But everyone calls me Bobby Aunty. It is my pet name If I may say so, you're as beautiful as the legendary danseuse Umrao Jaan I've been noticing you all along. Your poise, your grace... today's girls have none of it. Now take your daughter Son... even I've been noticing you all day, striding like a tiger... showing off your stripes to the girls. - Not I... Come off it. Wish you good luck Please... - Karan... Yes Bobby Aunty? - Shut up Shut up Not Priya. Pooja I think Priya suits you more. Can I call you Priya? Find a car for me Your friends and family just hijacked all the cars And my designer wants me to try out my wedding gown right now Get me a cab Here's a village. You won't spot a cab in a 12 mile radius There's a way Why aren't you attending the ritual? You aren't supposed to meet your fiance two days before the wedding Is it an arranged match? Or love? What do you mean? - Sameer and I went to college together He proposed He's smart, sensitive, successful, mature... unlike you. Find-my-towel-type. - What's find-my-towel-type? Like someone who'd scream from the bathroom... Where's my towel, my shoes ...where's the newspaper? Just peas and potatoes? You expect your Sameer won't ask you to find his towel after the wedding? In New York you lived with Sameer? - Before my wedding? Are you mad? Don't tell me you never? - What? Why should I tell you that? - That means no. I knew it Rhea, Pooja said your Sameer is some computer engineer Sounds quite serious and quite boring Being a computer engineer dosen't make him serious and boring Unlike you, he isn't an immature fool Had I been more mature, you would've considered me? Shut up Karan. I'm getting married in two days. You're sick Did I ask you to marry me? She takes everything so seriously I don't see your husband. He's in the catering business? You're in the weddings' business, he's in the catering business? Wonderful! Wish you good luck. - No, he's a photographer Even better! He's going to shoot the wedding photos? No, he's a fashion photographer. Besides he doesn't live in India In fact, we've separated. - So what? I've separated from my husband too. It was a matter of life and death Bobby, you're a wonderful example of perseverance Somewhat true. But Anju, you've got it going for you You run a thriving wedding business. And all you have is one son You haven't a worry in life Of course I worry. Mention marriage and Karan runs scared Why? Marriage is the end of love and romance Taking a potshot at marriage? Does he know what love and romance is? What would she know? She's getting hitched You tell me, did Adam and Eve marry? - No... They didn't and they basked in their un-marital bliss Look at legends. Romeo and Juliet. Did they marry? No. - They didn't Did Heer marry Ranjha? - No Did Shirin and Farhad marry? - No Ever wondered why? - Why? I'll tell you why. Marriage would've spelled doom for their romance They could never have become legendary lovers So I tell you, if you wish to find true love, never marry Fall in love, like me What rubbish Nonsense Yet every romantic legend stopped short of a wedding? How come? You ever heard a story told about the romance of any married couple? Of course. And everyone in the world knows Emperor Shah Jahan gave his wife Mumtaz the finest tribute to love. Taj Mahal Chocolate heroes They're screaming for love... these roadside romeos... but they'll duck the wedding Chocolate heroes Deep down inside whatever he is... he'll put up a heroic posture All day he's ogling books... full of girlie posters He'll say life's a carnival... but marriage is trouble So show him the door Chocolate hero Talk of marrying... and he throws a fit Talk of living-in... you'll find he swears by it In every girl he finds romance But commitment, not a chance He'll never find Juliet so Romeo loses his shirt Chocolate heroes He'll grow up to become an ageing beast... and the coughing will rack his ancient chest... he won't find a helping hand... then he'll miss love's caring wand When he is abandoned, then he will repent And then finally, he will remember me The bridegroom has come. What's all this excitement over? Fetching the bridegroom? He's bound to turn up, isn't he? If he fails to turn up... then you've reason for excitement... the bridegroom is missing... What a naughty boy Where ends our story? Story? Ours? A story is happening around every one. When we meet others, our stories meet" There's no story about us. There's only The End I wish Mamma was here You know she's busy at home. If she could've come, she would Carrying prayer candles What? - Always transpires with prayer candles Mamma, I thought you wouldn't make it I was held up I thought I'd miss your flight. But Karan took care of everything Friend's colony? I live in Friends Colony too Sorry, I lied. Actually I live in Kailash Colony But now that we've met Let's meet up more No use No use. You'll end up taking her out, splurging on her... And when you're dropping her home you'll hope she asks you in for coffee She won't How can you say? Even I did my bit. But don't worry my success rate wasn't hundred percent Many a times, I was left thirsting for coffee You think I don't think like you? For you as many girls as you wish? For me, only one for a whole lifetime? Don't worry, Rhea didn't make a wrong decision No boring scenes as in when I suddenly realise that you're in love with Rhea Even if he does, too bad We need women more than they need us And somewhere inside all of us guys, there's a kid who refuses to grow up No matter... how feeble she might seem... but in here we're far weaker But you won't understand now The day you find your Rhea, you'll know You always appear just when I've forgotten all about you Which means, you think of me all the time when I'm away I never meant that If you wish never to see me again... you must think of me always Because when you've forgotten all about me... I'll make my appearance- Yes But if you're thinking of me always you're actually wishing you'd see me Right? Yes... no... That's why a boy and a girl can never be friends- Why? Because you girls always end up talking about love Then you and I will never be friends Dad, will you ever be on time? I'm no poet But my pretty one... ever since I've seen you... poetry just dawned upon me I had heard of love, no doubt But I didn't know what love was I remained confused as confusions generally are... and remained an enemy among friends Yet I'm no foe... but dear pretty one... having seen you... I've learnt to make friends And I was no poet Nice? Awful? Your Dad isn't an international photographer for nothing Could I find her phone number? Now Paris? Aren't you tired of shifting base every year or two? What's tiring about it? In the last eight years I've done New York, Milan and now Paris Who are you running from? - Your mother I won't talk ill of your mother in front of you Dad! Not even behind my back A man has a right to live his life, no? If not my wife, whom do I criticize... my neighbour's wife? Even after all these years of living apart? You still consider her your wife? Mom was upset when we shifted from Delhi. She's settled down Your room is over there. - Thanks Part of my last year's photo exhibition Snacks? - Yes please Your wife is fine, Dad Did I ask how she is? Not in as many words Good day, mister. Coffee or tea? Good day, madam. Coffee or tea? - Coffee. Like I said, life's a long while We keep meeting That was bound to happen Every time we meet something always goes wrong You haven't changed a bit What are you doing in Paris? - I run a little boutique here What are you doing here? I'm pursuing love between"You and l" Remember my cartoon characters Hum-Tum? You won't believe it, the whole country is raving about Hum-Tum Publishers wanted me to write a novel about Hum-Tum... in which... they fall in love. Because Paris is the most romantic city in the world... here I am, catalysing their romance. And it's so awful, you're walking out? No, it's my station. All the best for your Hum-Tum Say hi to Sameer Sameer is no longer part of my life That's a sandwich. Meant to be eaten, not ogled Should I call her up Dad? - Certainly not Wait till the next summer I want to talk to her, I want to know what happened to her She isn't the same old Rhea But she doesn't have a nice impression of me. Hope she doesn't get me wrong If you wish to do a good turn, do it. Don't hesitate If you keep mulling over it you'll end up nowhere Who will eat that food? Your Dad? Not a bad idea, who wants to diet? Can I speak to Rhea? Who's calling? I'm hearing Hindi after ages Umrao Jaan, is that you? - Umrao Jaan? Aunty, I'm Karan. Karan Kapoor. Mrs. Kapoor's son Is that you Tiger? Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Paris. You needn't raise your voice Shut up, I'm tired of talking in hushed tones Blast their diction, they always seem to be conspiring in whispers If you're in Paris aren't you coming over to see us? Give me your address and I'll be over in a flash Address? You know how these names sound ...I went to school till 8th standard Yes I can manage English, but this language... never heard anything like it French... never speak what they write. More like they are gargling. I'll give it a try. Write It's a red building on the street. I can't manage the name of the house Made of olden type red bricks Sometime in life some things happen and you lose faith in God Did Sameer and Rhea hurt anyone? Just after their first anniversary... like everyday Sameer was leaving for work Some college students jumped a traffic signal for the fun of it And in a moment's time, Rhea's life changed forever Time was when she lit up my life whenever she came home Nowadays she's so quiet... She left America, India... and now she's here... where she knows no one and no one knows her I think she wants to get lost in the crowds Now it's as if Rhea is lost herself My Rhea lived life on her own terms; in life's hands, she suffers her defeat Just met your mother Can I share your umbrella? In life, how often... Sometimes whatever happens to us... God what am I saying? Whatever I say, what use... You're home And you couldn't even say how you liked the conversation Thank you Karan - What for? For what you've been trying to say Hey Rhea, can I borrow your umbrella? One minute... your phone. Who is it? - No idea This is such a problem. I grasp Neither the language nor the cuisine I end up eating what I never ordered. And I get to return your umbrella No Karan. Not lunch. I'm busy tomorrow He only asked you out for lunch You could've said dinner All day you sit at home. You could do with an outing What a life. Home-to-boutique-to-home I'm only watching my thriller Lovely song. Shammi Kapoor is a star My darling baby Finding that Chinese restaurant was tough You said you'd be busy. So I thought let's have lunch here Come on, I am famished Why are you doing this, Karan? Why this expression of sympathy? This is the reason why I didn't return to India after Sameer died I hate seeing people pitying me The food bill. 32 Euros Your share is 16 Euros. Remember? You only said fifty-fifty Can we eat? I'm really hungry Lovely food How did you find out I like Chinese? - I never knew. I love Chinese Eat in peace. Let me take care of her Pretty child. - Thank you Something about me? - I only said she's a pretty child You picked up French so fast? Must know the language where you live I seem to be able to make do with Hindi anywhere in the world If they don't know Hindi I make sure I teach them some If I don't teach Hindi to those French kids... you can change my name to something French But if I succeed, you'll do as I say. - Do what? Chuck up every woe Chuck it, I'm with you Try and smile once Let hues of the Spring blossom once again Sing a new song, strike a new melody It's a new season, it's a new day Chuck it... chuck every woe Chuck it, I'm with you Unleash new joys, sing a new rhapsody Let loose your moorings ride new waves of ecstasy Get the bounce on your feet let dance the sands at your feet Feel your spirits rise and reach for the skies It's the only life you ever had through twists and turns, good or bad Hug every moment, get life's feel. Smile, life's joys you can steal What are you doing? My bags... I don't run a hotel. If you're living with me, you'll socialize with me If you're seeing only Rhea find someplace else Out you go. You're not staying with me These dramatics don't suit you. Open the door Spending so much time with a girl doesn't suit you either By the way, is it serious? What an awkward monologue with a door. On one condition. You'll introduce me to Rhea Rhea has invited us to lunch tomorrow The door was open? You think I'm a bad dad who'll lock his son out in the cold? I'm a bad boy Excuse me... Is Karan in? I am Arjun Kapoor. Good day. - Good day. I'm Nicole Welcome Namaste. - Namaste So you are Karan's "bau'ji"... - "Bau'ji"? Myself Mrs. Parminder Prakash. You can call me Bobby I'd rather call you Dimple, the actress who played Bobby Your Bau'ji is very colourful, Karan. - Dad... Flowers for my Umrao Jaan. - Lovely flowers. Nice boy I wish I had carried those flowers Please come in Do come inside Nice house. - Thank you So you've taken after your father Son... I want to see Rhea married again You ought to talk to my mother She organizes weddings Silly, I didn't mean that You aren't talking about me? - I love my daughter dearly Would I ever want her to marry someone like you? Thank God. I was scared Life is meant to be lived ...to the fullest I know what Ioneliness means At least I had Rhea After I'm gone, who stays with Rhea? Everyone of us needs someone... For company, love, support But I have a feeling That Rhea will refuse to agree That's why she is living here. But whom will she find here? But son, if we can find a nice boy I think it'll work out So you're looking for someone conservative, homely... Because interesting boys like you Never make nice husbands What happened uncle? Nothing, just remembered someone I met her a few years ago. She's very beautiful The only beauty I could never capture In my camera nor into my life I should not be asking, but... - Then don't ask Come in, I'll tell you I was just back from London after a course in photography Then I met Anju Anju's world was very different from mine. She was plain Simple girl. With a strong mind That's the quality in her that sets her apart You may have conquered the world, but... We married To make each other happy, initially we made our compromises Like where-are-you-going, who-is-she? Maybe I was not prepared for marriage Afterwards questions that had never been raised cropped up I guess I was not ready for marriage. With time, there was more work, more quarrels. In a fit of rage... I took up a six-month assignment in America She asked not a question, I gave no answers For six months I waited for a call from her; maybe she waited for mine Then six months became a year and years became ages. On one count I'm grateful to her She never let Karan feel the distance between us I don't know why I'm telling you this ...I never even confided in myself Neither to me Wish you had tried atleast once... So neither have you been able to forgive me I forgave you long ago, Dad. But I never got over what you did Maybe you ought to say sorry to someone else You must think I'm evil No one's evil. Evil are the times that befall You're saying I've fallen into evil times There you are. Come inside. I don't serve a bad lunch Sure... - Out there it's colder than Amritsar I never could bring up this topic with my dad If you tell anyone I cried The one with the dog? You're incorrigible! I wonder what her mother's like. - What? Rhea, father and son are incorrigible Let's go in. You aren't dressed yet? Not going to the airport? Get dressed Spare me. - Why? I can't bid goodbyes Getting late, I should make a move Remember, we met at the airport After that first meeting... Of course not That's why you tried to kiss me Only tried? Then I hated you so much all because... you didn't know how to talk, you had no respect for women... you were so ill-mannered and irritating After all these years you remember everything about me? Did you hit upon a story for your Hum-Tum? I have something in mind. In the end who know's Hum-Tum may fall in love You know Karan, I didn't think I would ever admit this to you We're going to see each other very soon. Guess why? Because though life's a long while we have very little time Are we going to be friends now? Friends? But you always said you'd never make friends with girls Pretty girls are the exception And I am not pretty! - When did I say that? Are you saying I'm pretty? Rhea is coming after 3 days? - Yes Whose friend is she, yours or mine? - Mine And am I your chauffeur or secretary? - Neither Then why do you want me to pick her up from the airport? Because I want you to marry her You want me to marry Rhea? - Exactly Come on Mihir, you're perfect for each other If Rhea is perfect why don't you marry her? I can't marry Rhea. - Why? I'm the sort a mother would warn her daughter about I know Rhea. She needs a mature, experienced guy In three days, Rhea is coming. Pick her up at the airport If you don't like her you needn't see her ever again When did I say yes? - You didn't say no I can't believe it ...I'm doing your bidding If Rhea realizes that I'm introducing the two of you After the wedding, can I tell her we're married? Not bad! Already contemplating the marriage? Rhea is putting up with her aunt. She knows the address Come on, I'm busy. Hang up Australia fields so well even in video games Yes... you? Karan's friend. Not chauffeur so... So you are Mihir. Myself Mrs. Parminder Prakash How handsome You're just like Karan described you Karan described? No... he didn't. He only said Mihir would receive us in his stead You couldn't tell me that before? - Such a long flight. I'm at wits' end Something cropped up suddenly. Karan is busy... so I had to come Suddenly? But you said Karan informed my Mummy about you... The car is parked outside. Shall we? Which car do you have? Just asking, because we've got so much luggage There's something about India The country has a smell of it's own... Iook, kids defecating along the kerb Nice to be here Son what do you do? - I run a business in computers I see. How much turnover? Rhea is also a computer buff- Really? Not much, except office computing Karan says you run a store in Paris. - Not store. Boutique of Indian designs Boutique is a store, no? You come into India and you grab a paper! Always reading Times of India carries Karan's Hum-Tum This Karan is... - Yes Karan... Yes this Karan is... I just joined the chorus In Bombay you don't disconnect phones at night? You're angry? Okay I'm going home I'm famished. Can I find something to eat? Mamma is right. Your country is your own Who told you to live in Paris? If I stayed in India, everyone would've begun to insist that I marry again After Sameer died, I wasn't interested anymore You can't stop loving someone because he's dead. I'll always love Sameer But does it mean that you can't pick up the threads of your life? True. But to start afresh one needs a good companion Not someone in an arranged marriage. - What if you might find someone? I think arranged marriages work Let's pretend I'm here to look up an arranged match Pretences at 2 am! Hello Rhea I'm Champak Bhumiya Your aunt's niece's daughter' friend speaks highly of you She says we're perfect for each other. Made for each other Not Champak Bhumiya. If a genuine, smart guy... asks you whether after so many years in Paris... will you be able to adjust to Bombay life? With me? Okay what were you asking? - After Paris... will you be able to adjust in Bombay? - More important than the city... is adjustment between people. If two people are happy together... Bombay or Paris, what difference? After the marriage, will you work? - You don't want me to work afterwards? I think every woman should work. Not as a pass time. Serious work. Like you Now what about kids. - What about kids? Not you. Aren't you supposed to ask me? Whether I love kids? Yes, do you love kids? - Of course First I want a daughter. Beautiful, intelligent. Like you I'll make a fine daddy If I find someone like me flirting with her, I'll break his legs You think that will make you a fine daddy? - Look you'll make a fine mother What harm if I spoil the kids a little bit? So I do all the hard work and you have all the fun? Yes, look at it from my point of view and it's a wonderful marriage A puppy is all it'll take to complete the family portrait Let's call him Tommy. - Awful name Okay Tommy. On one condition. You take Tommy out for walks I'll only feed him morsels from my plate. "Tommy, take" Apart from spoiling the kids and Tommy what else will you do? What else is left to be done? I'll live happily ever after... with my kids and Tommy ...and of course, you. Sorry So I come after the kids and Tommy. With you. - I come after the kids and Tommy? Mention me after the kids and Tommy and I'll hack you into small bits... and I'll feed you to Tommy. - Okay I'm sorry. No more kids-or-Tommy I'll always love you more than anyone else See how easy it is to discuss an arranged marriage? We almost got married How are you? - How are you? You look gorgeous. - I ought to be telling you that Sit. How about coffee, tea, juice? - Just coming from our place And you know Mamma never lets me leave before breakfast How is she? But Rhea, these formalities... Actually Karan's dad has sent it for you He's fine Rhea, I'm the one who makes your Ma laugh all the time And you make my Mom upset as soon as you step in Don't fall for what she says I hope they send 150 pieces. I'll pay after I've checked the consignment If I find a one-piece short in the shipment... - God! One piece... how much poorer will it make you, how much richer will he become? You women are forever cribbing over one Rupee, one potato, one coriander leaf... why fight over trivia? - It isn't about money. It's principle But why discuss principles with you? Yes Mihir, come over, park the car Mihir is coming? - Yes... I forgot to ask you... how did you find Mihir? - Okay But what is Mihir doing here? - I thought we'd have lunch together Here he is So how was your shopping? I wasn't shopping. It was business I'm hungry. Where are we going for lunch? What happened? - Lunch reminds me... I have to meet Diana. - Who's this lady? Just a friend. Met her a week ago. Strictly business Not your first lunch date with Diana? - Lunch, yes For the first time Couple of days ago we went out for dinner You go ahead and have lunch. I'll see you afterwards for coffee. Got to run I know a great joint for grilled fish. I don't like grilled fish Where to? China garden? Delhi Durbar? - I forgot... Mamma has cooked lunch Will you drop me home? Next to your place there's a Dosa Diner Today's my birthday Strange! Karan never told me. - Karan must've forgotten Strange, you never reminded me it's your birthday Sorry, I forgot that you forget. - Never mind. Eat cake Something tells me I'm forgetting something Enough of your apologies! You forget that you invited me? I waited for you for ages Don't ask me how I know you're Rhea What sort of birthday? No champagne? Mihir you didn't tell me what you do. - I run a computer company. Micro India We design computer systems Really? All the computers in my office were sourced from you? Wiz Entertainment. - You're Diana Fernandez? No wonder your voice sounded familiar. We've spoken several times on the phone You actually spoke to her or you heard of her conversations over the phone? After so many conversations now we meet... amazing How amazing Karan, what a boring song. - Awful song To that song, for the first time I danced with a girl We danced pretty close Just let them be. - She's a... How strange. For the many times that they talked business, they never met One chance meeting and they've taken to each other Somewhat too fast. Who'll say it's their first meeting? Sometimes the first look is enough. Sometimes it takes so many meetings What? - True Yes Your last chance ...no second last chance I mean Mihir and Diana... you know... Mihir and Diana, they're so unlike I don't know how they liked each other They're so different It's widely accepted that the more varied the match the better it is for the relationship She makes up for her husband's flaws; he makes up for his wife's shortcomings Which makes for a perfect marriage. - Rhea, you ought to be writing a book Principles of Marriage by Rhea Tonight I'm happy... elated Guess why? I just got engaged Mihir and I... and the person instrumental in getting us together... is... If Rhea liked Mihir, if Mihir liked Rhea... then you and I wouldn't have been here today Karan tried his best to make Rhea and Mihir fall in love Then I materialized I guess I got lucky So... cheers to Rhea once again Oh Mihir, I love you Please give me a chance to explain You've no right to scorn me Scorn? I was arranging your marriage. I went away to Paris to avoid this You know it... because out there no one would be arranging weddings for me I don't get it! Why won't people leave a girl in peace until she's married? Is marriage the sole purpose of life for us? Without a man in her life a woman's life is incomplete? What tangent are you getting at? - And you Karan? I never expected you to behave like this Over something so little... - It's nothing so little Not everything in life is a joke So what now? Do we sit down for a quarrel? Forget it You don't get what I'm saying I thought you and Mihir... - What about Mihir and I? How can you think like this? Did you ever ask me what I want? I only want to see you happy You think I'll be happy with Mihir? - Will you be happy with a guy like me? Now why are you quite? Love is the problem, isn't it? Karan was right. A boy and a girl can never be friends Because love always comes in the way How long will you hide your feelings from each other? If you expect Karan to make the first move, forget it That fool doesn't even realize he's in love No one knows Karan more than I Every year he forgets my birthday, but each little word about you, he remembers If not love what else is it? Loves you dearly True love is so hard to come by it happens only once in a lifetime To have found this joy twice you're lucky Simple. I'm not a nice guy Not a nice guy and when it comes to girls... first class scoundrel. - He's one of us You get it? For the first time in my life I wanted to do good for a girl Did I do anything wrong? - No I did. - You did? - Big mistake I did Big mistake... I broke her heart The tears... welled up from her heart. I made her cry Made her cry? When her tears stream down here... why do I ache in here? Her eyes, her tears And here it aches? Is this any justice? - No Oh yes it's justice This is justice If the burden of both tears and pain were hers, what justice would it be? Were her tears and her pain to be mine, justice would be done. Understood? Understood. - What can you understand? She says I don't understand anything. If I never understood anything... how come I understand I'm no match for her Understand? Understood. She's coming for you She isn't after me- Behind you Hide the glasses. No drinking in front of a lady But I can drink because I'm not a nice guy. Pass my glass Karan, come home Rhea, I'm not a nice guy Not nice Let our sighs caress Let subdued heartbeats race This moment craves... a tryst... yours and mine Your eyes let me enchant In your arms take me as I relent This moment craves... a tryst... yours and mine Let our sighs caress Slumber's caress smears the kohl in your eyes Oh was it a fleeting carnival of dreams? Let desire consume us body and soul Leave yourself to rock amid abandon and ecstasy This moment craves... a tryst... yours and mine Caress me... like symphony's strings Darkness hidden in your tresses... let loose, liberate my nights Wait till night's veil slips away from her bosom Wait for dew to moisten her petals But this moment craves... a tryst... yours and mine Calm down Don't take God's name in vain Where's Rhea? - She isn't coming You had a fight with her? I left it in the car You don't say shit inside a church We were supposed to come together, no? I waited for you I got busy over here I can't even face her Idiot, even his tie isn't matching What must she think of me? Why did we take so long to know each other's minds? Whatever happened was wrong Why does it feel so perfect? I've lost her forever I don't want to lose him, ever Is this the end of our relationship? The beginning of a new relationship? How can I start this conversation? Please, say something Karan Whatever happened should never have come to pass I mean, I should never have done that We ought to get married Yes we ought to get married- Why? Why do you want to marry me Karan? Don't get me wrong Rhea - You're getting me wrong Do you feel that whatever happened was wrong? Yes Rhea. The mistake was mine Then we ought not to commit another mistake We ought not to make another mistake by marrying for the wrong reasons Don't get me wrong. - Enough Karan You need not say anything more Need not say anything more From the outset I never liked that Mihir He was always evading questions How annoying What makes you laugh? - I'm not laughing Bobby You've been laughing at me forever on the sly. Sarcastically Where are you going with those Huge bags? Our flight is next week What happened, my child? I'm leaving I don't know where ...for how long For four years I kept you away from your country, your relatives This time I want to go away alone I want to come to terms with my life, with myself, on my own Let me be on my own Mamma, please Rhea my child... home for me is wherever you are I'll never even ask you why we're going or where But don't tear yourself away from me I'm coming with you. Period Wait, I'm coming My darling baby God can't be everywhere. That's why He made mothers Have you finished your breakfast? What's the matter? It's been two days and you're completely uncommunicative And there's no news of Rhea. Have the two of you had a fight? This boy is too much You're not listening, you aren't talking, you aren't answering phones, doorbells Just like your Daddy Whose son is he after all? You? Can I come in? What are you doing here? - Coming directly from the airport... to see you. How have you been? - I'm fine It shows. How's Rhea? - What do you want to ask? I want to know why you're running away from your life. Like I did What? - In my personal life... I took a lot of wrong decisions which I have come to regret I had the loveliest, the most loving wife in the whole world But I never could understand her Finally I realised how much I had been given and what I had lost Every father wants his son to follow in his footsteps. I must be... the first father in the whole world who prays everyday... may my son never become like me But sometimes when I look at you... I fear I may have passed on to you my legacy of failures. I fear... you may lose faith in relationships because of me But then I look at Rhea and my fears are allayed I feel she's the one who can extricate my son from the orbs of my shadows Rhea called me in Paris yesterday to tell me that she's leaving forever She'd say no more but I realised you've proven that you're my son No one else could ever break a heart so full of love Dad I'm in love with Rhea. But how can she love a guy like me It's what we fail to grasp about women. How can they love morons like us? someone I ought to have worshipped God never gave me a second chance You're about to make the same mistake. Know it, He won't give you a next chance Karan, where are you going? After all, I'm your son Dad. In matters of the heart I'm slow on the uptake But now that I know, I'm not wasting The second chance God never gives. We ought to seize it ourselves... like my son is doing Like our son? For 3 hours we've been only 2 inches apart and we don't know each other" You rifled my bag? Why must you spend on my tickets? - Yes, how are we related? You're organising the wedding and you don't know who the bride is? Sameer is no longer part of my life But to start afresh one needs a good companion In the end Hum-Tum might end up falling in love I only want to see you happy. - You think I'll be happy with Mihir? Will you be happy with a guy like me? Mention me after the kids and Tommy and I'll hack you into small bits... and I'll feed you to Tommy." Okay I'm sorry. No more kids-or-Tommy I'll always love you more than anyone else Sometimes the first look is enough. Sometimes it takes so many meetings" Words... my eyes spoke... had you read... you'd never lose me... Wait... if that word... you ever said... in Ioneliness, we wouldn't walk Once a moment craved... a tryst... yours and mine Only problem with Hum-Tum... without you I'm incomplete Many relationships fall apart because people can't express themselves... they can't talk their hearts out. If you got something to tell someone... just go ahead and say it. Don't wait, it might be too late Rhea couldn't understand my love because... I was the one who couldn't fathom my love. Now she's gone... and I never got a chance to express myself. Out of this book... I seek no riches, no fame. I only want to tell her... how much I love her You believe you'll meet her again? She will meet me. I'm sure... because life's a long while Rain in January? It doesn't rain in January It was bound to happen, yes Karan? Because whenever we've met... something always happens You read the book? How did you like it? Reminded me of a friend Ever told you about this friend of mine? Never I met him long years ago And you kept seeing him... till he became my best friend Then he fell in love with you. Why did you walk away? Because he didn't stop me I don't like your friend one bit Not a word against my friend Then what do I say? What you've never said That I'll love you more than the kids and Tommy? You better! Else I'll cut you into little bits... I told you, there's one story about us. - Is this the end of our story? No, now's when our story begins Where are you going? You didn't hear what he said? Story isn't over Who's this guy? Why is his cot so close to my daughter's? He's a new-born! - You never know these guys No sooner than they're born they start flirting with pretty girls Saw that? He's using kids' sign language to call my daughter If he's like that I wonder what his mother's like When did you see his mother? - Just a joke When did you see his mother? Look, your baby is cute. When did you see his mother? - I saw his dad. Doesn't resemble him I thought he must resemble his mother. You and I... Because I love you Boys get together and go out Girls get together and chat How will we get together? Deep in my heart, you and I Daylongs of longings whenever you're nowhere near Who all were you with? So if you love me? Why didn't you profess your love and you fought me off? Now come into my arms uKoushiK DaS/u [ ukoushik-das@wassup.co.in/u ] [ ukoushik@moviefan.com/u ] uKoushiK DaS/u [ ukoushik-das@wassup.co.in/u ] [ ukoushik@moviefan.com/u ] |
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