(girls whimpering)
(girls grunting)
(moans)
(sobbing)
(somber instrumental music)
(birds squawking)
(birds chirping)
(coughing)
(rain pattering)
(thunder rumbling)
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
- Ian, please!
Could you just calm down?
- He did not know
I took the car.
He will be
absolutely fucking furious.
- Your dad
doesn't have to find out.
We can come back
and get it tomorrow
when we have the keys!
- Fuck!
Don't even think
for half a second
you're going to break open
that car, mate.
So get out of my face.
(keys jingling)
What are you fucking looking at?
Stop looking at
my girlfriend, midget!
- Ian, please!
- You want to fucky-fucky her?
No way in hell,
'cause let me tell you,
there's only one guy
who fucks her,
and I fuck her real good,
so go home and fuck mom now
you demented dwarf!
(gunshot)
(screaming)
(gunshots)
(screaming)
(groaning)
(screams)
(crowbar clatters)
(panting)
No, please!
Please, no!
(screaming)
No, please!
Please, plea...
Don't!
Ian!
(coughing)
(engine revving)
(tires squealing)
(brakes screech)
(wheezing and coughing)
(inhaler hisses)
(audio rewinding)
(no audio)
(breathing deeply)
(moans)
- Hey, I hope you're not
time wasting, you.
I've got a dozen people
waiting to look at this place,
most of them paying cash
as well.
You got cash?
Right, the light switch is
somewhere here I think.
(giggling)
- Hey, come on, let's get
this fucking lease signed, hey?
(thunder booming)
(electricity crackles)
(thunder rumbling)
(grunting)
(inhaler hisses)
(coughing)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(electricity crackles)
(screaming)
(cell phone ringing)
(phone keypad beeping)
- Hi, this is Marc
from USA Actors Management
regarding your audition request
for our clients
Miss Williams
and Mr. Kitamura
from Human Centipede.
Neither is available for the
auditions in London right now
because they're shooting
a movie,
but thank you for the interest.
Maybe we can do something
in the future.
Good-bye.
(baby crying)
- Stop them tears.
You're just making
Daddy's willy harder.
(baby continues crying)
(floorboard creaking)
(electricity crackles)
(crying stops)
(insect buzzing)
(clock ticking)
(snifts)
Oh, my God.
Have you shit yourself again?
You swine.
I've called Dr. Sebring,
and he's waiting.
Get up!
(pots clanging)
(door creaks)
(sighs)
Hello, Martin.
(moans)
(squealing)
(chuckles)
Mmm.
Martin...
come and join us.
Well..
Martin, I have your Ventolin.
Martin, I'm here today
because your mother is
very worried about you.
- He keeps on talking
about a centipede
with 12 people.
What does that mean?
- Now, let's see.
A centipede can be considered
a phallic symbol.
Centipedes are
very aggressive creatures.
Their bite can be very painful.
Maybe he is connecting the pain
that a centipede inflicts
with the pain inflicted on him
through years of psychological
and sexual abuse by his father.
- I miss my husband.
And it's your fault
that he's in prison!
- Sometimes people
that are mentally challenged
and have a history
of sexual abuse...
mutilate
their own sexual organs.
I'm sorry.
I going to have to go.
There's nothing to worry about.
I'm sure it's just
a passing phase.
Hmm?
Martin.
Ah.
You're a good boy.
Mrs. Lomax.
- I've decided to kill us both.
(bass music thumping)
This music is driving me crazy!
I can't stand this any more!
(knocking at door)
He can't stand it any more!
Come on, tell him.
Be a man like your father.
- Stop fucking bothering me,
you retard.
I play my fucking music
as loud as I fucking want, okay?
- Kill us both.
I'm begging you.
- Shut your fucking mouth,
you old cunt.
What the fuck?
(screaming)
- I will play my music
so fucking loud,
it's going to make
your fucking ears bleed,
you cock-sucking dwarf.
Next time,
you batter that fucking ceiling,
I'm gonna come down
and break your fucking neck,
Fuck!
Fucking little cocksucker.
Don't fucking bang
that fucking ceiling
any-fucking-more, okay?
You cock-sucking retard!
(zipper unzips)
(grunts and sniffles)
- The lips from B and C
and the anus of A and B
are cut circular
along the border
between skin and mucosa,
the mucus cutaneous zone...
the circular mucosa
and skin parts
of anus and mouth
from A to B and B to C.
Connecting
the pedicellated grafts
to the chin-cheek incisions
from A to B, connected...
Ingestion by A
passing through B
to the excretion of C.
A human centipede...
first sequence.
(woman sobbing on video)
(man screaming on video)
(ominous music)
- Will you give me a high five
when we get there?
(baby crying)
- Hey.
(tires squealing)
(gunshots)
(glass shattering)
(brakes screech)
(woman screaming)
(crowbar clanging)
(baby crying)
(woman screaming)
(whimpering)
- Shh, shh.
(babbling)
(woman sobbing)
(coughing)
(wheezing)
(inhaler hisses)
(whispers) My lead.
My lead.
Hey, man.
(mutters)
- Hey, man.
(muttering)
(speaking German)
(grunting)
- Ja, komm.
(moaning and grunting)
(speaking indistinctly)
Yeah!
Yeah, coma up ham.
Come up, oh, yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah!
Very good!
Yeah!
I did if!
(cackles)
(speaking indistinctly)
(camera clicks and whirs)
(all sobbing)
(man speaking Japanese)
(inhales sharply)
(moaning)
- Whoo-hoo!
- Why do these stupid things
never work?
(grunting and moaning)
(cell phone ringing)
- Oh, Valerie!
It's that guy from the club!
(grunts)
(sighs)
(speaking indistinctly)
- Shh!
There's...
(giggling)
Babe, there's a midget
wanking in there.
- You are drunk, love.
- No, seriously!
(sobbing)
(growling)
(heart beating rapidly)
(electricity crackles)
(wheezing)
(gagging)
(electricity whirs)
(all screaming and moaning)
(cell phone ringing)
(phone keypad beeping)
- Hi, this is Arianne
from Creative Acting
Talent Management.
You called us
with an audition request
for our client
actress Miss Yennie
from The Human Centipede.
I just spoke to Miss Yennie,
and she is very, very excited
and available
to fly to London to audition
for the new Tarantino film.
Could you please contact me
ASAP on my cell phone,
713-499-0913.
Thanks.
Bye-bye.
- You can't do this.
It's a film.
The Human Centipede
is a fucking film.
He is going to stitch us up.
He is going to stitch us up
ass to mouth.
Help!
Help!
(baby crying)
- Stop them tears.
You're just making
Daddy's willy harder.
(knife clinks)
(plastic rustling)
- What is this?
Mouth to anus?
One digestive system?
Is this a perverted film
you've been talking about?
(sobbing quietly)
- I want all this filth
out of my house!
(screaming)
(yelling angrily)
(coughing)
(wheezing and coughing)
(blood gurgling)
(floorboards creaking)
(bass music thumping)
(broom handle tapping)
- Fuck!
(screaming)
Doh!
Fuckin' hell!
Ahhhhh!
Gahhh!
(screaming)
Fuck!
Oh, fuck!
(dishes clattering)
(bass music thumping)
(coughing)
(inhaler hisses)
(exhales sharply)
(grunting)
(speaking Japanese)
(moaning)
(passes gas)
(rain pattering)
- Swallow it, bitch.
Swallow up.
(grunting)
- Feed her.
Feed her!
Ahhh!
(woman screaming)
(rain pattering)
(all moaning and grunting)
- That was fucking sensational.
And you know what?
Your pussy smells gorgeous.
Yeah.
How you doing, doc?
(groans)
Oh, I rather fuck
that retarded boy,
but... this'll do.
- I know a place in Thailand
where they specialize
in that sort of thing.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, she's a good one.
- How much to fuck you
up the arse, darling?
- For you, darling, 50.
- Jesus.
Who the fuck are you?
What the fuck have you done
to yourself?
That's right.
Have a good stare.
Have a good fucking stare,
you little fucking pervert!
Fuck off now
before I get out of this car
and smash your fucking face in!
Don't!
(screaming)
(gunshots)
- No, please.
Please!
(screams)
- Martin?
Martin, it's me,
Dr. Sebring.
So...
this is where you work.
This isn't right, Martin.
What you're doing,
it's wrong.
Martin, I can help you,
but you have to put
the gun down.
Imagine what your father
would say if..
(screaming)
Martin, Martin, no, Martin!
(snarling)
(babbling)
(baby crying)
(snarls)
(coughing)
(whimpering)
Please.
I'll do anything you want.
Please!
I won't tell...
I won't tell no one nothing.
You fucking...
(screaming)
(shouting indistinctly)
(screaming)
Someone help me!
(muffled thumping)
(cell phone ringing)
(phone keypad beeping)
- Hi, Martin, this is Arianne,
Miss Yennie's manager.
I wanted to confirm
that Miss Yennie is not delayed
and will be landing
this morning
on London's Heathrow Airport
at 6:00 a.m. your time.
I understand your driver
will be picking her up.
I hope she does
a great audition.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Bye-bye!
- God, I cannot believe
I am here
auditioning for
a Quentin Tarantino film.
My agents are so excited
about this.
I should probably call them,
tell them I landed
and, you know, I'm on my way.
(coughing)
- Have you seen
The Human Centipede?
(coughs quietly)
- I was really drawn
to the film
because of
the medical aspect of it.
If you were a surgeon,
you could actually perform
that surgery.
It's just so scary.
It was so grueling
being on all fours,
so I demanded in my contract
that I had to have
an hour... long massage
every night.
I mean, why would I not
demand that in my contract?
Oh, and the rest of the cast,
we all took showers before we
shot the centipede stuff,
because I mean, you're close
to someone's butt,
and you don't want to smell
anything and...
or, you know, whatever.
I'm kind of a germaphobe.
Um...
(coughing)
Oh, that must be Quentin's car.
(sighs)
Do you have an umbrella?
Because this rain
will ruin my hair.
Okay.
Oh!
(people moaning and screaming)
(shouting indistinctly)
(woman screaming)
(shouting indistinctly)
(groaning)
(sobbing)
(sobbing hysterically)
(eerie music)
(electricity crackling)
(all screaming)
(crowbar thudding)
(teeth cracking)
(groans)
(teeth clinking)
(gurgling)
(sobbing and sniffling)
(heart beating rapidly)
(moaning)
(groans)
(moans)
(screams)
(whimpering)
(sobbing)
(ominous music)
(staple gun clicking)
(all screaming)
(wheezing)
(inhaler hisses)
(distorted classical music)
- Please, please.
Please don't hurt me.
Please.
I'll do everything.
(coughing)
(screams)
(cell phone ringing)
(phone keypad beeping)
- Hello, this Marc from
USA Actors Management again.
Please disregard
my earlier message.
Fortunately, Miss Williams
and Mr. Kitamura
were able to reschedule,
and they're really, really
excited to come to London
for Mr. Tarantino's auditions.
I hope it's still possible.
I'm totally confident
that they're gonna do
very well on this,
so please call me back
as soon as possible
at this number to confirm.
Thanks very, very much.
Talk to you soon.
Good-bye.
(screaming)
(grunting)
(spitting)
(spitting)
(grunts)
(shouts)
(thunder rumbling)
(muffled groaning)
(all passing gas)
(giggles)
(cackling)
(guffawing)
(spitting)
(coughing)
(insect buzzing)
(retching)
(coughing)
(burps)
(electricity crackles)
(door creaks)
(screaming)
(engine sputtering)
- Ah!
(grunting)
(baby crying)
(wailing)
(growls)
(snarling)
(coughing)
(gun clicks)
(grunts)
(crying)
(screaming)
(door creaks)
(engine revving)
(woman sobbing on video)
(baby crying)
(crying stops)
(eerie music)