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I Married a Witch (1942)
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[ Upbeat ] [ Man ] And may this be the fate... of all the witches, warlocks, and sorcerers... who attempt to work their evil magic... within the township limits of Roxford. The book of exorcism, please. Mayest thou and thy kind... be condemned forever to eternal flames... never to return to the neighborhood of Roxford. And now, while we prepare for the extinction... of the father of this witch... the old sorcerer who attempted to come to her aid... there will be a short intermission. - [ People Chattering ] - Popped maize. Get your fresh Indian popped maize, tuppence a poke. It's buttered, it's hot, it's fresh. An anti-witch charm in every poke. Tuppence, please. Popped maize. Here we are. It's buttered, it's fresh. Popped maize, Master Wooley? What has got into thee, Jonathan? - What? - Dost doubt she was a witch? I should never have accused her if I were not sure. And her father. Unquestionably a sorcerer. Mother, if thou hadst seen what I saw. We both saw our cows turn pink, then blue... and our sheep dancing a minuet. - But thou didst not see Jennifer. - Jennifer? She told me her name when she chased me into the hayloft. She was young and beautifully fair fairer than all women that ever were. How didst not tell that to the judges? Because I could never describe her beauty. What happened in the hayloft, Jonathan? She brought her golden tresses... close to my face and whispered... "Jonathan Wooley, thou hast denounced me as a witch. For that thou shalt be accursed. Thou and thy children and thy children's children all will be under the same curse." What was the curse? I and all my descendants... will be unhappy in love. The marriages we make will be disastrous until Yes? - 'Tis too wicked to tell thee, Mother. - Rubbish! Thou art in love with Purity Sykes and even betrothed to her. - Aye, Mother. - And Purity is a woman among thousands. Aye, Mother, she is that. Jonathan, wouldst leave thy future wife sit there all alone? - What ails him, Mistress Wooley? - Ah, Purity. You will find he is a dreamer. He needs only a firm hand. Jonathan, I must ask thee to be more attentive. - In the future - Look! The oak tree. 'Twill be planted over their ashes. - Why? - To hold the evil spirits shh! prisoner in its roots... thus keeping their wicked powers from surviving. I hope. And this is the tree which was planted over their ashes. [ Chuckles ] The witches' spirits, of course... are imprisoned in its roots. [ Chuckles ] Imprisoned forever. Martha... I have the honor to - to - Are you proposing to me? Yes, Martha. Oh, Nathaniel! [ Woman Giggling ] What was that? [ Man ] Fort Sumter fired upon! War declared between the states! Nancy Nancy, control yourself. Control yourself. Drop your hand. I wish to throw this vase! Master Wooley, did you hear? War! Where is the nearest recruitin' office? Running off to war like a coward! - [ Horn Honking ] - [ Nagging, Indistinct ] [ Horn Honking ] [ Indistinct Nagging Continues ] [ Big Band: Mellow ] I'm not talking about the whole house at the moment. It's that living room! - [ Thunder Crashing ] - [ No Audible Dialogue ] Estelle! Now Now, listen to me! Estelle! Estelle. Estelle, please. - What? - [ Man ] Miss Masterson? Please. Hold it. One more. Papa, I'm leaving. Smile. Will you try to be more pleasant? At least until after the wedding. [ Man ] Fellow members of the Roxford Country Club... Dr. White's proposing another toast. I realize that lovebirds... would like to be out on the veranda whispering sweet nothings. [ All Chuckling ] After a certain ceremony tomorrow... they will have all the rest of their lives for billing and cooing. - Mostly billing. - [ All Laughing ] But if the voters have any sense at all, they will insist... that the first four years of the honeymoon be spent in the governor's mansion! [ Cheering ] Go ahead. You might pick up a few more votes. - [ Man ] We want Wooley! - [ Man #2 ] We want Wooley! [ Chanting ] We want Wooley! We want Wooley! [ Chanting Continues ] I see getting married... as well as trying to get elected, calls for speeches. [ People Laughing, Applauding ] I can truly say... that a new life is beginning for me. [ Thunder Crashing ] [ Man ] Ladies and gentlemen, it's just a storm. Ladies and gentlemen... while at the moment, the future seems a little dark - [ People Chuckling ] - You see? One never knows what the next moment will bring. - [ People Laughing ] - [ Thunder Crashing ] [ Woman's Voice ] Where am I? What's happened? [ Man's Voice ] A miracle! An infernal miracle! We're free again. Free at last! - [ Woman ] Who speaketh? - 'Tis I, thy father, Daniel. [ Woman ] But thou hast no substance. [ Daniel ] Nor hast thou, Jennifer. We are smoke witches' smoke. But our evil spirits have survived. [ Jennifer ] 'Twill be sweet to plague the human race again. [ Daniel ] First we'll visit the cornfield and ruin the crop. 'Tis always a good way to limber up. [ Jennifer ] Look, Father. The cornfield is no longer there. [ Daniel ] Well, we must expect a few changes... in 270 years. [ Jennifer ] Were our spirits in the wood that long? [ Daniel ] Aye. I counted the tree rings. [ Jennifer ] See? They've built a new house. It seems all ablaze. Is it on fire? [ Daniel ] Not yet! [ Cackling ] What's knittin', kitten? You like to cut a rug? Let's ditch these ickies. How about goin' to heaven in your jalopy? That's solid, Jackson. Now you're cookin' on the front burner. What language is that, Father? [ Daniel ] I don't know, but we'll learn it. [ Big Band: Mellow ] [ Jennifer ] See how they dance today. They stand so close. [ Daniel ] Well, well, well. Things have changed. [ Jennifer ] I never thought I'd see clothes like that in New England. [ Daniel ] These cannot be the descendants... of the Puritans we knew. [ Jennifer ] There's something that hasn't changed... in 270 years. [ Daniel ] Keep thy mind on our business! [ Jennifer ] 'Twould be nice to have lips lips to whisper lies... lips to kiss a man and make him suffer. Father, why cannot I have lips and eyes and hair? - [ Door Opens ] - [ Daniel ] Careful. Someone's coming. Quick! Do as I do! These bottles we'll hide in them. Quick! Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick! [ Jennifer ] Whee! [ Daniel ] Are you all right, Jennifer? [ Jennifer ] 'Tis full of bubbles in here. They tickle! [ Daniel ] My bottle has the tang of maple rum! [ Jennifer Whispering ] Look, Father! Come closer, man, so I can see thee better. [ Daniel ] Riddle-dee-dee, riddle-dee-doe... get thee hence and stub thy toe. [ Chuckles ] [ Jennifer Whispering ] There was something familiar about that face. Could we follow him? - What'll it be, Mr. Wooley? - The same bourbon. Yes, sir, Mr. Wooley. [ Jennifer ] Wooley! I knew I recognized those features. [ Daniel ] Well, well, well. A descendant of the man who had us burned. [ Cackling ] [ Jennifer ] No wonder he looks so unhappy. I put a curse upon his family. [ Giggles ] Well, I thought lovebirds always flew around in pairs. Estelle's talking politics. - What's the matter? Election jitters? - No. How can I lose, with Masterson and all his papers in back of me? My future father-in-law has never backed a loser. If he spoils his record this time, I'll have to hock my stethoscope. You're betting on a sure thing, Dudley. He isn't missing a trick. Look at that. Posters at a private party. The whole marriage is just another campaign stunt to him insisting we hold it the day before the election... so I'll get a good publicity break on election day. Wallace, I think you've had enough to drink. - Now, Estelle - I'd like to go home. Yes, dear. Can we drop you, Dudley? Yes, thanks. [ Jennifer Snickering ] The curse is working. She has the look of a shrew! Here, Tom. Jennifer, what's that curse thou wast chattering about? [ Jennifer ] Each Wooley must marry the wrong woman. [ Daniel ] Ha! What a curse! Every man who marries... marries the wrong woman. True suffering cometh... when a man is in love with the woman he cannot marry. Father, suppose a man were in love with a witch. With me. I would not marry him. [ Daniel ] Ha! [ Hiccups ] Ooh, pardon me. I need air. For tonight I'll merry, merry be Tomorrow I'll be sober [ Drunkenly ] Let's get out of here. Let's go for a little ride. [ Whistles ] Broom! Father, give me a body. [ Daniel ] Oh, no. [ Chuckles ] Thou didst get into enough trouble with thy last one. [ Jennifer ] Thou canst not give me a body. Thou wouldst not even know how to begin. [ Daniel ] No? I'd merely make a little fire. [ Hiccups ] As thy last body was destroyed by flame... thy new one would be born in flame! [ Jennifer ] Prove it. Start that great house on fire. [ Daniel ] A hotel for pilgrims. [ Chuckles ] 'Twould be a pleasure burning that. All right, I will. Worra, worra, fizzle, dizzle... let the flame begin to sizzle! P-I-L-G-R-I-M... H-O-T-E-L! - [ Cackling ] - Good-bye, Father. Good-bye, Jennifer. Be a bad girl. - That's the Pilgrim Hotel! - It would have to be on our way home. - [ Bell Clanging ] - We'll have to stop. You wouldn't go through fire for your future wife? [ Chortles ] Boy, look at those flames. I never saw such a fire. - Is there any way we can get through? - Sorry, Mr. Wooley. It's all blocked off. - Some firebug must've touched this off. - He did a good job! This is the craziest fire I've ever seen! Laps up water like a cat! - You're sure everybody got out? - Yes, sir. We've checked every room. Yeah, they're all accounted for. It's all right, men. Everybody's safe. Get these people back. We're stuck here for a while. Tell them who you are. They'll have to make way. - I'm sorry, Estelle. - Wallace, where are you going? - There's Mr. Wooley! - [ People Clamoring ] - Make way for Wooley. - Make way for the next governor. - Would you like to go through? - Yes, thank you. Folks, let him get by. - I'm voting for you. - There goes a great guy. - Hello, Mr. Wooley. - Hello. Don't get too close. I got a bet riding on you. - How did it happen? - Nobody seems to know. There was an explosion on the roof. The top floor went like that. Then the fifth, then the fourth. Now it's on the third. Soon it'll be on the second, and then the first... then it'll all cave in on the basement. [ Laughing ] - What's so funny? - Oh, it's fully insured... and I love building new things. I want to build it in a classic gothic design. - Don't you love gothic? Huh? - Quiet. What was that? Did you hear that voice? [ Bell Clanging ] Somebody's inside. Listen! I didn't hear anything. It was so clear! A woman's voice. Aw, there's nobody in there. They've looked everywhere. No, wait. Wait. There it is again! [ Jennifer ] Here I am, Mr. Wooley. - Over here. - Where? I-I can't see! Just walk. You'll find me. Keep walking. This way. This way. - Are you all right? - I think so. Two legs, two arms, a face, hair. - Yes, I seem to be complete. - Why don't you come out? I've been waiting for you, Mr. Wooley. - Where are you? - You're getting warmer. Here's my hand. How can I get you out? I can't see a thing. I can see you. How do you do? Never mind. Let's get out of here! - Have you a gazing glass? - A what? A mirror. I want to see what I look like. - At a time like this? - Oh, I'm cold. - Cold? In this furnace? - But I have no clothes. No clothes? Here, put this on. [ Coughing ] How did you get here? From the top floor. Why do you look away? Am I not pretty? Who cares? Come on. - [ Jennifer Coughing ] - Get up, get up! [ Jennifer Laughing ] I can't! Here, I'll carry you. Legs are funny when you're not used to them, aren't they? - Huh? - Why are you in such a hurry? Why? The whole building was on the third floor, and now it's fallen to the second. When this ceiling gives way, we'll be buried alive. [ Jennifer ] Nothing will happen to us. - You don't know what you're talking about. - Yes, I do. Ah! Here's a door! Here! - [ Bell Clanging ] - Oh! - [ People Shouting, Screaming ] - Oh! This way's blocked. The bars on the window. Quick - Where are you? - I've found a better coat. And a mirror! Mm, not bad. Oh, I'm a blond. Would you rather I be a brunette? If you don't get out of this fire, you'll be a redhead! Don't you realize - [ Masonry Crashing ] - [ People Screaming ] That was the second floor. Well, there's no way out. We're goners, little girl. Perhaps I should be little. I'm just as high as your heart. Did you hear what I said? We're trapped. Just we two. Look, before I got here... what what hit you on the head? I felt nothing until your hand touched mine. Oh, I see. Well, it was nice meeting you. Oh, would you like to leave now? It would be a pleasure... but that door is now a wall. Oh. Then we can use the one behind the screen. - Quick! It's our only chance! - I want to fix my hair. Come on, while you still have a head! [ Rumbling ] [ People Screaming ] Do you like blonds? May I get a picture? Hold it right there. He saved somebody! [ Officer ] Stand back, people. - Are you all right? - I guess so. - You certainly gave me a scare. - Wally... - take me away from these people. - Here, Dudley. She's suffering from shock. Well, uh [ Chuckles ] guess I'd better take you to a hospital. Oh, well, I hope she's all right. It's only natural for you to be concerned. Estelle, I've told you a dozen times. There's no point in Well? It's amazing. Not a scratch on her. Not a burn. - You must be relieved. - You've known me all my life. She never met Wally. The girl's suffering from delusions. You see? She has delusions. - Well, I haven't! - Estelle, you must believe me! - [ Dudley ] Listen to me. - I've never seen her before... and I I'll never see her again! - Dear, you ought - It's silly to drive me home and then back here. - You need rest. - Darling I know best. You have to get used to pleasing me sometimes. - All right, dear. - Ooh, you still smell of smoke. - Good night, darling. - Good night. [ Meowing ] Susie, you know you can't come in until breakfast time. - [ Meows ] - Scat! Scat! Susie! Susie! Susie? Susie, where are you? Hello, darling. - I thought you'd never get rid of that girl. - What are you doing here? Waiting for you. - But the hospital, the - I didn't like it there. How did you get here? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. What am I to do with you? Just look on me as an old friend of the family. - I never laid eyes on you before. - Come here, Wally. Am I not an attractive female? - What's that got to do with your being here? - Am I? Yes, yes, you're very pretty. - Take my hand again. - Now, come. I know you've had a terrible experience. And now a pleasant one. You... have a very nice hand. And now it can shake mine good night. - Your hand is cold. - Well, so is yours. Yes, good-good night. Let mine rest in yours a moment. See? It's growing warmer. Well, that's fine. That's fi - Amusing-looking chap, isn't he? - Yes. - Ancestor of mine. - I'm aware he is. Jonathan Wooley. He would have been more hospitable. Oh, I don't think so. Well, I have a busy day tomorrow. It's time for beddy-bye. - Mm, take my hand again. - You're becoming a problem. - Am I? - Yes, and that is not the solution. See, it isn't respectable for you to be sitting in a stranger's house. - I like your resisting me. - Oh, you do? - You know what I'm going to do with you now? - Yes. Just, uh, get up, please. - Where are you taking me, Wally? - We're going out. Night, Jonathan! I'm going to give you money, and you can go back wherever you came from. - No, not yet. - Yes, right now! Ooh, this is a lovely sensation. Even nicer than flying. - What's going on, Governor? - Not "Governor" yet, Fred. She was in a fire and lost her clothes. No, I didn't. I didn't have any. - Evening, Mr. Wooley. - Have you any money, Joe? About eight bucks. Well, I only have ten, but here. Give it all to her and take her anyplace she wants to go. I'll pay you tomorrow. For heaven's sake, be good. What'll I do with the coat? When you're through with it, send it to the police. It-It didn't belong to her. [ Nervous Chuckle ] I hope that cab is heated. Where to, lady? Where to? [ Doorbell Rings ] [ Sighs ] Oh. Hope I didn't butt in on a pleasant dream. Just wanted to make sure you're all right. - You've certainly earned a drink. - I'll say I have. Upstairs you go. Get a good night's sleep. I'll take this. - Dudley, she was here! - Who was here? The girl I saved in the fire. That's impossible. When I left her in the hospital, she was sleeping like an angel. Well, that's some hospital. She got away. And some angel. Now, wait a minute, hmm? Tell me this again slowly. No, tomorrow. I've had enough for one day. How about me? I've got $10,000 tied up in this election. If this gets out, you're a dead goose. Think of the scandal the night before your wedding. That's it the election! That girl was sent here by the opposition. - They're trying to frame me. - You're right. Rainfogle and that bunch wouldn't stop at anything. Did anybody see her? - Nobody who'll do any talking. - Good. I'll put her down as an amnesia case. Give the police a description. Was she wearing that fur coat? [ Groans ] Maybe you'd better not say anything to the police. Everything's all right now. I got rid of her. Well, try and forget her, then. You want a pill to make you sleep? No. No, thanks. I'm much calmer now. Oh, make sure the door locks. Okay. Relax, now. - Good night, Wally. - [ Door Shuts ] [ Jennifer ] Now close this door, Wally. I said close this door, Wally. Now come here. I'm coming. My pajamas. I don't want to call the police, but I know your whole scheme. - You do? - And I know who's behind it all. - You don't. - Want me to mention names? - What names? - County Chairman Martin J. Rainfogle. - That's a nice name. - Want another? - Mm-hmm. - State Senator Conrad O'Hara Jr. Sheriff Peter L. Glasshauser and all his ward heelers. - How much are they paying you? - Nothing. Ha! Hmm? You're just doing it for love, hmm? Yes. Father thought it'd be a good idea. - Who is your father? - You've never met him. But he doesn't want this state to have a good administration. Father doesn't want any state to have a good administration. - But he's out to get me particularly. - Yes. I am a pretty good judge of character... and I don't think you're really a bad girl. - Don't you? - You're very young. I'm older than you'd guess. I don't think you ought to go back to that father. I'd rather stay with you. You would? You really would, wouldn't you? Now I understand. Just because I was of some slight help... in getting you out of that blazing inferno... perhaps you are, momentarily, infatuated with me. But it isn't love. And I'm not in love with you. I guess this'll take longer than I planned. I'm afraid you have rather a romantic mind. You see, love isn't just a matter of... two people meeting under romantic circumstances. Love that is, love that is really worthwhile grows slowly. Real love is... like a painting. Ah, yes. Yes, there have been thousands and thousands... of couples just like us... going their separate ways... never realizing the other was waiting somewhere. Why, Romeo and Juliet knew right away. That's what Shakespeare's trying to tell us. Of course, the case of Dante and Beatrice... is a trifle different. He saw her only once. But in that moment, the whole world... was bathed in a new light. It wasn't just a humdrum world anymore, where you had to... get up in the morning and meet a lot of stupid people. - [ Knock At Door ] - Who's that? - [ Woman ] 8:00, Mr. Wooley. - What? - 8:00. - That's impossible. But... it's true! - Good morning, Wally. - Good morning, Jennifer. It's fantastic. It just seems like a few minutes since I came in. Don't you want your breakfast? You're as bad as when you were a little boy. Even on a day like this, I have to call you half a dozen times. [ Chuckles ] Oh, and what a what a beautiful day it is too. Happy is the bride that the sun... shines on. Good morning. Mmm! That smells good! You don't know how long it's been since I've eaten. - Mr. Wooley - I'll explain later, Margaret. - What can you possibly say? - Well, you No, no, dear. Not like that. First you butter them, hmm? And then a little syrup. Mr. Wooley, I've worked for your family for 30 years... been almost a mother to you... and to think that on this day, of all days Oh, yes, and send up some evening gowns too, please. You see, everything the young lady had was burned. Send them up right away, please. Thank you. You know, I think you've broken my record for waffles. Well, Margaret likes nothing better than to make them. Those people are still downstairs waiting. Margaret, these have made a great hit with her. - What did you say? - Those people. I told you they were here three batches of waffles ago. You did? I don't remember. Uh, people waiting? Who? Who are they? - You'll find out. - Excuse me. Mm, more waffles? There's no more batter. [ Dishes Clattering ] Oh! I'm sorry, Margaret. - Better be sorry for yourself. - Huh? It's Miss Masterson downstairs, with her father. Who? Miss Masterson, the lady you're getting married to. Oh! - Good morning. - Good morning. I'd forgotten you were going to drop in. We didn't say we were. What's the matter with you? Have you seen the papers? I've got you all over the front page. That's great. Dear, hadn't you better go? - It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding. - Don't be ridiculous. Saving that girl was the luckiest break. You don't know what that can do for you. I have a rough idea. I've arranged a special broadcast about the fire. You're to be interviewed. - I'll have you back by 11:00. - That's fine. That gives me plenty of time. Shall we go? No, I'm going to stay here. I want to see about brightening up this antique shop. - The photographers will be here. - There's no time. - Run along. - I'm a little on edge, with the wedding at noon. I'd feel much better if you came along. There. That's a good girl. Excuse me. I'll get my hat. [ Estelle Shrieks ] - How did that happen? - It just slammed shut. I'm terribly sorry. There's rather a heavy draft... blowing through the house today. What's he going out with her for? Why shouldn't he? He's going to marry her in less than two hours. - As for you, young woman - Oh, go to sleep. After all my work! No, I don't want to go. [ Exhales ] Two hours. That doesn't give me much time. I wish Father were here. [ Daniel ] What seems to be the trouble? Oh, good morning, Father. I need some advice. He's tougher than I thought. I can't seem to make him love me. [ Daniel ] Thou art the veriest bungler. I must have been drunk to give thee a body. Oh, don't smoke so much, Father. - Did something go wrong with thy philter? - My what? Thy love philter. Thou gavest him one, I presume. No. I thought I could do it barehanded. Art thou a witch or a woman? Prepare a love philter at once. Dost thou recall the incantation? Listen. [ Simple Melody ] Kettle, kettle on the hob Hurry up and do thy job [ Daniel ] Steam and hiss and while you do Cook an all-compelling brew So that he who sips will be Slave to love's captivity Now put in a cool place until ready. - What will it taste like, Father? - Like cool water... but 'twill set Master Wooley's blood on fire. Then I'll treat him like a slave. I'll make him suffer, body and soul. Speaking of bodies, I have a notion to make a personal appearance myself. Of course, I'll have to burn a house down to do it. [ Chuckles ] Not this one, Father. I've a better idea: the building he's in now. - 'Twill force him back to me. - Excellent! Good hunting, Jennifer. 'Tis growing cool. Now we shall see if thou canst resist me. Get ready, Master Wooley. - Not dressed yet? - I'm lucky to be alive. What's happened now? I was making a broadcast about the fire, and suddenly I was in another one. - Mysterious explosion on the roof. - Anybody hurt? No, we all got out all right. What's wrong with this door? Margaret! What are you two doing in my bedroom? What happened? Oh, I I must have dozed off. Go upstairs and get dressed. Where's the brandy? - Did you get rid of that girl? - "That girl"? Oh! She must still be here. Well, she won't be here for long. Ah, you listen to me, young lady. Come on, come on. Get up. I'm listening, Mr. Wooley. Why do you look at me that way? Oh... my dress. Do you like it? I I don't know. It's such a shock to see you dressed. I mean... - you're beautiful. - Enough to make a man fall in love? Mere physical beauty isn't everything. That's what I thought. - [ Clears Throat ] Look, Jennifer - I don't like the tone of your voice. I swallowed some smoke last night, and I just swallowed more now. - But that's not going to stop me - Wally wants a drink of water. Nice, cool water. Thank you. Now, all I have to say Drink it, Wally... and then I'll be glad to hear anything you have to say. You'll find out that no one named Wooley... is able to stay away from me. Oh, I'm awfully sorry. This is terrible. Jennifer! Jennifer! Can you hear me? Dudley! Come here! Oh, you Here, here. Drink this. There. There, that's better. Now, how do you feel? I I feel strange. - Hmm? - What happened? Well, the picture fell. Does your head hurt? - My head? - Mm. No. It's my heart. - It feels so light. - Try not to talk. Oh, but I must. I must tell you how I feel. Oh, Wally, you're so beautiful. Dudley! - Take my hand. - Don't start that again. Oh, my darling. Let that man alone! Dudley, something really happened to her this time. - She got a sock on the head. That picture - You did it in self-defense. [ Jennifer ] Aren't you glad you drank it, Wally? - I didn't drink anything. - What's she talking about? A drink of water. I gave it to her when she was coming to. You gave it to me? Never force liquids on a person who's unconscious. It may have serious consequences. - [ Moaning ] - Nervous reactions. - Come on. We're late. - What are we going to do? - Lock her in this room. - But, Dudley Come on, before she marries you. Stop worrying. She can't get out. I'll drive. You're too nervous. You'll have to get rid of her after the wedding. Poor little girl. All alone in the world... except for a no-good father. [ Brakes Screeching ] Don't ever jam your brakes on like that! I didn't jam them. It just stopped. - I can't figure it out. - What's that smoke? - What happened to him? - Who? The fellow we pulled out of the fire. He's gone! How do you like my body, Jennifer? [ Chuckles ] Not too old, not too young. I'm sorry I've forgotten the formula for clothing. I had to borrow this sheet from the ambulance. By the by, has the potion been administered? Yes. Father, something went wrong with our plan. What? But that love philter never fails. It didn't. But... I drank it. Nicodemus! Then you love him! Yes, Father. But he's about to marry someone else... because of my ancient curse on the Wooleys. Do you think if I explained it all to him By all means do. Telling a mortal you're a witch will only mean the end of you. Then what shall I do? He must not marry her. You won't let him, will you? - Let me think. - You could make him love me. You can do anything you want. Yes. This problem should be fairly simple. - Just leave it all to me. - Oh, thank you, Father! - Will you leave it to me? - I promise. Splendid. [ Chuckles ] I'm still a little bit warm from the fire. Jennifer, fetch me a pair of Master Wooley's breeches. We're going to his wedding. I love you truly Truly Dear Life with its sorrows Life with Its tears Here, drink this. - What is it? - Novocain. 120 proof. - Down fast, brother. - If that girl ever gets out of my house Drink that. Suppose she comes here? It'll be terrible for Estelle. Oh, you'll be all right, and I'll be sitting pretty. - [ Instrumental Interlude ] - There's your cue. Just play "I'm a seeing-eye dog" now. - Can't you smile? - You know I wanted a church wedding. You've had everything else your own way. I should never have given in to Wallace. It's the last time. She's not here. Stop worrying. [ "Bridal March" ] Smile. - [ Wind Gusting ] - [ Women Screaming ] [ All Clamoring ] Close that door! It's a hurricane! - My veil is ruined! - Go back and wait. I'm terribly sorry. There'll be a short delay till we get everything straightened out. Music, music! Sing something. I love you truly That's all I needed: a hurricane on my wedding day. Never mind about that. She just blew in! - What? - I saw her in the doorway. - What'll I do? - I'll think of something. Beloved, this is my father. Delighted, Master Wooley. You've made a mistake. This is a private room. It's rather crowded downstairs, and a bit windy. [ Chuckles ] Be seated, Master Wooley. I should like to have a talk with you. Look here. I'm being married in two minutes. - I understand those were your plans. - "Were?" He is. Nothing you can do - Would you excuse us? - Maybe you'd better. Hurry up. I'll stand guard. Let me fix your pretty tie. You see, Father? He's just like a Greek god. My little one tells me she was your overnight guest. - Not at my invitation. - Oh, no, Father. The poor sweet didn't want me to stay. Were I an ordinary man, Master Wooley... a horsewhipping would no doubt be in order. But I am not an ordinary man. While examining your dwelling... - I came upon... this. - My revolver! You can't force me to marry her. What a banal mind you have. You may hold the weapon. - What is this? - It's very simple. Here is a bruised flower. I am her father. That is your revolver. You are going to shoot me. I... am going to shoot you? Will that be of help? Now, now. Father knows best. Warm, Master Wooley? You don't know what warmth is. I am told one of your forebears made a hobby of bonfires. What a pity he cannot be here... to see his descendant burn. Yes, Master Wooley. Burn. In the modern way. Strapped in a chair... heated by electricity. I anticipated that. Pistol, pistol, let there be... murder in the first degree. Thank you so much. Amusing invention, the electric chair. [ Chuckles ] What will they think of... next? - What's happened? - Uh - It was an accident! - 'Twas no accident. He killed me in cold blood. Kindly notify the authorities. Oh, he's frightened you. He told me he'd help me. - [ Wallace ] How is he? - He's dead. Oh, it doesn't matter. "Doesn't matter"? Her own father! Oh, but that's not my father. That's just a body he picked up. I didn't do it, Dudley! You'll be my witness! All right. Well, I wasn't here! [ Groaning ] [ Instrumental Interlude ] He's as nervous as a bride. One might think they were going to hang him. It's up to you. Now, tell them. What have I got to do with it? You're handling the... details of the wedding. [ "Bridal March" ] [ Gasping, Clamoring ] I love you truly Truly Empty! I thought I saw smoke come out. I know you're here somewhere. How could you, Father? You know I love him! [ Daniel ] That's exactly why I've disposed of him. - Where are you? - [ Cackling ] For tonight I'll merry, merry be For tonight I'll merry, merry be For tonight I'll merry, merry be Tomorrow I'll be sober - [ Cackling ] - Come out of that bottle. - Come out! - Oh, no. [ Chuckles ] I could float here forever. Well, you're not going to. - [ Woman Shrieks ] - [ Wallace Gasps ] Wally! Don't go upstairs! - But maybe she killed herself. - Now, Wally Wally - What's wrong with him? - I think we'd better call the police. - What's he done? - It's the other fellow. - What other fellow? - The one in the chair. Keep calm. I'll be right back. - [ Exclaims ] - Estelle! Estelle! Ah, love, 'tis something To feel Now, you get back in that body. No. I didn't like it. It's an old, fat body. Then I'll tell Wally what we are. Knowing what would then happen to you? - Yes. - Heh. You wouldn't dare. Wouldn't I? You're all right? [ Jennifer ] Wally, darling, there's something I must tell you. [ Gasps ] Look! - I thought you said he was dead! - Well, he is! [ Drunkenly ] A fine way to take advantage... of a father's affection. Now hearken to a father's curse. I'm going to turn you into a frog. Frog, frog, sitting on a log What's the next line? You wait till I sober up. You'll be sorry. [ Woman Gasps ] For tonight I'll merry, merry be Tomorrow I'll be sober - What did you want the police for? - It's all right now. He fell out the window. - He what? - Not Wally. The other fellow. - Unhand me, foul minions of the law! - Take it easy, Pop. I'm going to cast a spell upon you. From now on, you're a rat! Rat, rat, fatter than the cat - How does the rest of it go? - So I'm a rat, huh? - Call the wagon. - Come on. If I could only remember the words... I could turn you into kangaroos. They're taking him away. Why didn't I have them take you too? Perhaps because you're beginning to love me. - Please don't start that again. - Wally! I thought Father would be friendly. I wouldn't let him or anyone else harm you. - Oh, I know you wouldn't. - But it's true! Last night I was your enemy, but now I've changed. I love you. I'll always love you. - If I could die, I would do that for you. - Will you just be a sweet girl? - Hey, they're ready. - Good-bye. - Where are you going? - I told you before But I thought that now, after all I've done for you You've been very obliging, but now I'm going downstairs to be married. That's what you think. [ Instrumental Interlude ] [ Jennifer Screams ] Wally! You gotta go through with it this time. I'll take care of her. [ "Bridal March" ] Hurry up, hurry up. Let's get this over with. He'll pay for this. - Do I look all right? - Who cares? Go on. Well, what are you standing there for? Dudley has the ring. I'll see what's keeping him. - Wallace. - You come back here! What's the matter with you? Did you ever have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? Wallace! I love you truly - Got here too late. - Dudley. She really did love me. She said she'd die for me. - Oh, my darling. - At last! [ Surprised Gasp ] I've had enough of this! Estelle, wait a minute! Listen to me! You've got to listen to me! Uh [ Nervous Chuckle ] It's a big misunderstanding. If you'll give me a few minutes, I I'll give you just ten seconds to get out of this house, all of you! We won't be here that long. - You'd better get out of the state. - I'm terribly - Get out! - I can explain. Uh, after the fire, you see, she spent the ni-night On-On second thought... - maybe we'd better just go, darling. - Mr. Masterson I'll expose you in every paper I own! This'll not only cost you the election, but I'll encourage the voters of this state to tear you limb from limb! I'll head the tar-and-feather party personally! When I'm through with you, you'll wish you'd never been born. I love you truly - Will you shut up? - Tru- [ Man ] Extra! Big Wooley scandal! Read all about it! Extra! Paper! Big Wooley scandal! Extra! Read all about it! Wallace Wooley exposed! Extra! Paper! - Big Wooley scandal! - What does it say? It's just as I thought. He's finished. And I'm bankrupt. Go and get her, I say. Bring my daughter to me. Bring her here or, by Jezebel - Shut up! - Quiet! - I wanna get some sleep! - Hey, toss this stub bug out of here! For the last time, will you pipe down? I tell you, my daughter ran off with a bumpkin... named Wooley, Wallace Wooley. Sure, she did. You take it easy. You'll be out of here tomorrow. Tomorrow may be too late! There's no telling what she'll do. I know a couple of ways to make you shut up. And I know a hundred ways... to silence you forever. Oh, but I don't remember them now. This is terrible! She'll marry him. Wallace Wooley's gonna marry his daughter. Yeah? And then you'll see what'll happen to Master Wooley. I'll wreak my vengeance on them both. She thinks she can run away from me... that I cannot see her because of the fog. But I can see you, Jennifer. She smiles. She presses closer to him. Darling? Yes, Wally? You're guessing about those mileposts, aren't you? No, I can see them. I have rather unusual eyes. If we're really over the state line, I can relax. Wally, what color would those feathers be? "Feathers"? Oh, I don't know. But the tar would be black. Let's stop, Wally. I guess we'll have to. I can't even see the front of the car. Mighty nice scenery they have around here. - Lovely, isn't it? - We'd better walk to the next town. No, I thought we'd stay here. Here? We're in the middle of nowhere. How do you know, Mr. Wooley? Good evening. If you're looking for a place to stay, I have a lovely room. Thank you. - Do you have two rooms? - No, I'm sorry. Aren't you married? You're dressed for a wedding. Where's the nearest justice of the peace? He'll be down in a minute. Henry? Customers. Uh, let's see. One dollar for waking up the county clerk... and helping you get your license. Two dollars for the ceremony. One-fifty for lodgings. Rent of my pajamas, 25 cents. Rent of nightgown I'll have to charge you 50 cents for that. - It's sort of an heirloom. - Yeah. There. Almost a perfect fit. My grandmother was just a little bit of a thing like you. [ Chuckles ] Oh, shall I light the fire? Oh, no. I'd like to try. I must start learning to be a good housewife. Let's see. You... just go like that, don't you? Of course. They're like any other matches. Well, good night, my dear. I'm sure you're going to be very happy. He's a fine young man... and I hope your boys take after him. And I hope your girls take after you. - By Rhadamanthus, on, fire! - [ Door Opens ] [ Gasps ] - Wally? - Yes, dear? - Did you see the way that fire came on? - What fire? All I can see in this room is you. - Darling? - Mm-hmm? - Do you want to have children? - Why, of course. I'd like three little girls exactly like you. - Ohh! - Huh? I think I'd better tell you. You'd never forgive me if you found out later. - Aha! A confession! - Yes, Wally. I haven't exactly been a saint myself. We'll compare notes in the morning. No, I must tell you now. I don't know how to begin. Then don't. - Wally? - Hmm? Doesn't it seem strange to you, the way we met? It's all been like a dream. - It was witchcraft. - That's it. Of course. - You see, Wally - Shh, dear. It's getting late. But I want you to know what I am. All right. All right, what are you? I'm a witch. A witch? [ Chuckles ] I knew it all the time. - You did? - Of course. I've been under your spell since the moment I met you. Then... it doesn't matter? You don't mind being married to a witch? I love it. I'll try so hard to be a good wife, and I'll only use witchcraft to help you. What could you do, for instance? I could make you win the election tomorrow. Oh, it would take witchcraft to do that. - I think I can manage it. - Fine, fine. After all, I'm not just an ordinary witch. My family dates back to the days of Pompeii. - Were you mixed up in that? - My father was. Ever hear of the decline and fall of the Roman Empire? That was our crowd. You're marvelous. Seriously, dear... do you like to sleep on the left or the right? You don't believe me. Wally, try to understand. 270 years ago That's too long a story, dear. Can't it keep till tomorrow? Wally, 270 years ago - You're not listening to me. - Yes, dear. Yes, I am. 270 years ago I'll tell you tomorrow. Let me out! Let me out! Oh, why can't I remember... the formula for dissolving iron? - Let me out! - Quiet! - Pipe down! - I couldn't get any shut-eye all night. - Ah, throw him into solitary! - Yeah. That's Wallace Wooley. Don't tell me they're tossing him in the clink. It looks that way. Pay up, brother. They ain't electing no con for governor. Bensinger's a cinch. Why couldn't you keep straight until after you was elected, like everybody else does? I'd like to talk to you about Jennifer. We were married last night. Yes, I know. Congratulations, Master Wooley. Thank you. She's been saying the oddest things... last night and again this morning. What? Silly things... about living in Roxford 270 years ago, and, uh and being a witch. Beelzebub! Don't you think I know? Oh, then she's acted that way before? Well, maybe I can help her. Silence! I must concentrate. Iron, iron, melt away Oh! I can't remember a thing. What is the matter with me? I'm afraid you've got a hangover. Don't tell me what I've got! I invented the hangover! It was in 1892 BC. Did you believe her? That's the important thing. "Believe her"? Why, the things she said didn't make any sense. Then there's still hope. At first I thought she was joking, but she keeps talking about the election... saying she'll make me win by witchcraft... and that that'll prove she's a witch. Master Wooley, see if you can get me out of here. I know how to handle her. Thanks. I'll do my best... but I'm afraid I haven't much influence in this town anymore. - It'll be a Bensinger landslide! - Quiet! [ Derisive Laughter ] [ Man ] Three cheers for Wallace Wooley! Hurray! [ Several Men ] Hurray! Hurray! - We want Wooley! - We want Wooley! - We want Wooley! We want Wooley! - Quiet! [ Men Continue Chanting ] We want Wooley! Hey, hey. I thought you wanted Bensinger. - I changed my mind. - Yeah, but you're bettin' on Bensinger. All right, so I'll lose. - We want Wooley! - We want Wooley! [ All Chanting ] Quiet! Quiet! We want Wooley! [ Chanting Resumes ] - [ Upbeat March ] - [ Chanting Continues ] Wallace Wooley is a fraud! An impostor! A hypocritical demagogue! That's why I'm asking you to vote for... Wallace Wooley. - [ Whispering ] Mr. Masterson - One moment, please. Yes? You said, "Vote for Wooley." Did I? Correction, ladies and gentlemen. The man I am backing is Bensinger. W-O-O-L-E-Y! [ People Chanting ] We want Wooley! We want Wooley! We want Wooley! We want Wooley! We want Wooley! [ Babies ] We want Wooley. - We want Wooley! - We want Wooley! [ Cheering ] [ Chanting ] We want Wooley! We want Wooley! [ Cheering, Chanting Continue ] We want Wooley! [ Man On Radio ] That includes every precinct in Kearsarge County, folks. It looks as if the whole state's gonna make it a Wooley landslide. More in a minute. - I can't believe it. - That's just what she'd said she'd do. - There's no other explanation. - You mean she's a You see why I couldn't go down to campaign headquarters tonight? - If this gets out - Let's look at these Wappasocket figures. - They're not complete. - You can't be carrying Wappasocket County. That's Bensinger's home. Another bulletin, folks: Complete returns from Wappasocket... show the entire county has climbed on the Wooley bandwagon. - Well? Are you convinced? - He must mean another county. Hold everything. Here's a flash, folks. At 10:45 tonight, with only three precincts yet to be heard from... election returns were as follows: Wallace Wooley 2,684,922. Elwood Bensinger none. He didn't even vote for himself. Dudley, I've married a witch. What am I going to do? Let me look at you. Did you say she's 800,000 years old? No, no, no, no, no. That's her father. She's only 290. - I see. - But you'd never think it. Well, marriage does a lot for people. Well, Wally, this clears everything up. All except one little point: How did she get out of the hospital that night? - She used a broom. - Oh, of course! I must be getting stupid. A child would know that. Dudley, what what am I going to do? - How many people have you told? - No one but you. How can I? I see your point. People are so skeptical. Might be hard to grasp that the first lady is a witch. - I don't care about them. What about me? - Look out! Are you satisfied, darling? You're the new governor. - What are you going to do now? - Help you with your slippers. - No, not just yet. - Then I'll warm them by the fire. You know, I lighted it with a match, Wally. From now on, I'm going to be just a simple, helpful wife. Dudley, I can't take it. "A helpful wife." What if she runs me for president? - [ People Chanting "We Want Wooley" ] - What's that? People gathering in the street. They want you to make a speech. - Real people? - Naturally. They all voted for Wally. - What am I gonna say to them? - I don't know. There are one or two things I wouldn't tell them. Good night. - Where are you going? - I've gotta be getting home into my straightjacket! - Would you like me to drive you? - No, thanks. I'll call a broom I mean, a taxi. - Wally, darling. - Yes, dear? You don't mind my being a witch, do you? Well, you'll admit it's a little unusual. - No one need ever know. - We'll talk about that later, dear. It'll be our little secret. Our little secret? Now go out and make your speech to them, dear. Good evening, my dear. - [ Man ] Three cheers for Wallace Wooley! - [ Crowd Cheering ] Hurray! I must compliment you on the public confidence... you have inspired for Master Wooley. - You're not going to hurt him again? - I will attend to him later. I am concerned now with an erring daughter. I've done nothing except love him. You have informed him that you are a witch. Need I remind you of the punishment... that I must perforce administer? At midnight, back to the tree! There to stay until the present race of men is extinguished. A rather light sentence, considering the offense. But if I don't wish to go - There is nothing you can do about it. - I'm still a witch. No, my dear. Your heart is so full of human love... that I can no longer trust you. Until you have resumed a more spirit-like existence... you shall be a mere mortal! I've remembered all the spells you've taught me. Out, fire, by Rhadamanthus! - Out! - [ Chuckling ] You see? Your power is dead. Mine remains. Out, fire. Better get ready. Soonest done, soonest mended... and midnight approaches. May I... say good-bye? Certainly, my dear. I'll be around. [ Wallace ] ...endeavor to give this fair state an honest administration. As a former governor so aptly put it [ Whispering ] Wally! Wally! Uh, and in conclusion, thank you very much. What is it? - You must help me! - You want me to help you? - Come on, darling. Hurry! - No, no. But where? - Anywhere. Out the back door. Hurry up. - [ Sputtering ] Anyplace, Joe. Just drive around. Hey! That's my cab! - What is all this? - I had to get you away. Something might have happened to you. - What? - I don't know, but something awful. - Can't you tell me about it now? - Wally, I'm afraid! You are afraid. What trouble can you be in that you can't get out of by witchcraft? - I've lost my power. - What? I'm not a witch any longer. I'm like any other girl. I wish we could go so fast that no power on earth could overtake us! - Faster! - Nothing's going to happen to you while I'm around. [ Chuckling ] You are like any other girl afraid of lightning. That isn't ordinary lightning. - Can't he go any faster? - Step on it, Joe. Faster. Nobody could possibly catch us. Joe's a wonderful driver. There's nothing he can't do with the car. They've certainly improved this road. Is it midnight yet? No. Five minutes to 12:00. Don't look! [ Daniel ] Back to the tree! [ Daniel Cackling ] Don't worry about me, Master Wooley. I am accustomed to fire. Come, Jennifer. I have decided to return with thee to the tree. I am weary of mortals. There's no use fighting. It has to be like this. - Jennifer, what are you saying? - Go, Wally. Please. [ Clock Chimes ] Midnight. Good-bye, my darling. I want you to remember me as I was: just an ordinary girl. - [ Cackles ] He'll remember. - [ Chiming Continues ] That will be his torture. And I'll remember that I loved you. Through all eternity I'll remember. [ Cackles ] Thou wilt remember nothing of this tender feeling. That will be the essence of thy punishment. I'll never forget. With all my strength I'll fight. Love is stronger than witchcraft. I'll remember everything the sound of your voice... your worried looks... the warmth of your arms around me... the touch of your lips. [ Clock Chimes ] [ Jennifer's Voice ] Good-bye, Wally. Good-bye, my darling. I'll remember. I'll always remember. Always. Always. Always. [ Daniel ] Look at him. Is it not good to see him suffer? Yes, Father. Is this not a perfect revenge on the Wooleys? Yes, Father. Could we follow him? And why? To watch him suffer, of course. Well said, Jennifer! Thou art a witch again! [ Daniel Cackling ] She's dead, Master Wooley. Thy marriage is a mournful memory. Let's be gone, Jennifer. [ Jennifer ] Let me tarry but a moment at this window. I wish to see it all. [ Daniel ] Thou art enjoying it, eh? [ Jennifer ] Oh, yes. And thou? I cannot remember when I've had a better time. [ Cackles ] It's great in here. I've called a doctor, Mr. Wooley. Jennifer? The sound of his voice [ Chuckles ] it no longer thrills thee? - No, Father. - Good. And his worried looks? And the warmth of his arms around thee? [ Jennifer ] These are things that have no meaning for me now. And the touch of his lips? Wally... love is stronger than witchcraft. [ Daniel ] For tonight I'll merry, merry be For tonight I'll merry, merry be - Tomorrow I'll be sober - Oh, no, you won't. Wally, darling, all our troubles are over. At least for the present. [ Margaret Scolding, Indistinct ] Mr. Wooley... I've been with your family for 37 years, but this is the end. - What is it, Margaret? - I simply cannot handle your daughter! Jennifer! I told you never to play with that broom. Why? I'm afraid we're going to have trouble with her someday. Oh, that's impossible. I hope. [ Daniel Cackling ] Good night, ladies We're going to leave you now |
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