Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!
This train, originating from
New York's Grand Central Station...
is back in service.
Next stop will be
New Canaan, Connecticut.
New Canaan, Connecticut,
next stop.
In issue number 141 ofThe Fantastic Four...
published in November 1973...
Reed Richards has to use
his antimatter weapon on his own son...
who Annihilus has turned into
a human atom bomb.
It was a typical predicament
for the Fantastic Four...
because they weren't
like other superheroes.
They were more like a family...
and the more power they had,
the more harm they could do to each other...
without even knowing it.
That was the meaning
ofThe Fantastic Four...
that a family is like
your own personal antimatter.
Your family is the void you emerge from
and the place you return to when you die.
And that's the paradox...
the closer you're drawn back in...
the deeper into the void you go.
The dilemma that Dostoyevsky...
claims here to have discovered...
goes to the very core
of Christianity's relationship...
to the modern world.
But it is a dilemma that...
Yes, Libbets?
What Dostoyevsky is saying here
is that to be a Christian is to choose...
because you have to choose
of your own choice.
And since you can't choose to do good
because that'd be too rational...
you have to choose to do bad.
It's existential.
Thank you, Libbets.
That's a very compelling summary.
But, of course,
existentialism, as you said...
Libbets? Hey.
Dostoyevsky.
I'm also really a fan.
And, uh, what you were saying,
you know...
Have you ever read The Idiot?
The Idiot?
If you liked Notes from Underground,
you'll love The Idiot.
Great. Thanks for the tip.
The Idiot.
- I'm in love with Libbets Casey.
- Oh, come on.
She's a poor little rich girl.
Check out the jeans and fur look.
And get a load of this.
Her mom, stepdad and stepsisters are going
to Switzerland to ski over Thanksgiving break...
and they didn't invite her.
- How do you know this shit?
- They did it last year too.
It's, like, traditional or something.
They've got this humongoid place
in New York City...
and she just holes up there
with a wad of cash.
You think Francis is gonna
beat me to the punch here?
Since he sleeps with every girl
you ever show an interest in...
why don't you just keep
your Libbets fixation a secret from him?
You already told him.
I hope you changed the water
in that bong from last night.
The water, as you call it, is a special mixture
of amaretto and brandy...
blended for just the exact
chemical interaction...
with the last
of our precious Thai stick.
- Waste not, Master Hood! That was 20 for the bag!
I been thinking, Francis.
You know, you are one
drug-addled, elitist freak.
And when the revolution comes...
I do not want to be
lined up with you and shot...
because you are fucking ripe
for political reeducation.
- You know? Like in the fields.
- Let me enlighten you about something here.
You and I exist on two opposite sides
of a great existential divide...
that being your pathetic virginity
on the one hand...
and my astonishing number
of sexual conquests on the other.
- You are simply jealous.
Hood. Telephone.
And remember, with your erogenous zones
lubricated as such with the mighty herb...
beware out there, because you drone on
like a motherfucker when you're stoned.
Flame on, asshole.
- Hello?
- Paul?
- Oh. Hi, Dad.
- Hey, guy.
How's it going?
Everything all right up there?
- Yeah. Everything's good.
- Well, good.
Uh, well, I'm just confirming, uh,
you'll be on the 4:40 on Wednesday, right?
I'm gonna come Thursday.
Well, you can't come on Thursday, Paul,
because Thursday's already Thanksgiving.
But a record which
would only be disclosed...
Well, that's the whole point
of the holidays, Raul.
So you and your sister
can mope around the house...
and your mother and I
can wait on you hand and foot...
while the two of you
occasionally grunt for more food...
from behind the hair in your faces.
- Believe it or not, we actually, uh, enjoy it.
- Okay, okay, Dad.
- Good. Thanks, guy. Hang on a second.
- First, the investigation
should be thorough.
Wendy, you want to say hi
to your brother?
- And second, that if there were
any military involvement...
- Wendy, come on!
we should get the facts out first.
As I said at my August 29
press conference last...
- Charles.
- Charles, have you been keeping out of my shit?
Have you refrained from entering
the sacred precincts of my room?
I haven't touched your sh... stuff.
- Are you watching this?
- Watching what?
Nixon, doofus. It's incredible.
He should be shot.
Hey. Drop the political
assassination stuff, please.
He's a liar. Dean told him on March 21
about Kalmbach and Hunt...
all about the payoffs
to the Watergate burglars.
So you tell me where
the so-called Dean Report is.
- But you can't because it doesn't exist.
- All right. The defense rests.
- You want another?
- No, thank you.
- We should be off.
- Got you.
And the only person knows
that when the March 2 4th tape...
Charles? Charles, calm down.
I wasn't in on it.
It's gonna sink, and the entire country
will fall into anarchy.
- And the Symbionese Liberation Army...
- Dinner's on the counter.
We'll be at the Carvers'.
You know the number.
- Paul, hi!
- Hi.
Hi. Is there, uh,
anything special you want?
Any particular kind of food or snack
or anything we can stock up on?
- Nope.
- No? You're all right?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Yeah? Okay. All right.
We'll see you next week. I love you.
Um...
Me too.
All right. Bye-bye.
- All right, Wendy. We'll see you later.
- Asleep by 10:00.
I mean it, young lady.
As a matter of fact, uh,
I have a practice...
whenever I'm not too tired at night...
- Of dictating my own recollections of the day.
I think that, perhaps, will be the more
accurate record of history in the end.
The dog jumps up on the barstool,
and he says, "Okay."
It was a benefit
for the A.C.L.U. or something.
Harry Reems himself was there.
The man with the...
from Deep Throat.
- The very one.
- Classic.
Something about
a First Amendment defense fund.
- Ted took me to see it.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, Ted, how romantic.
- Hmm.
- I have to admit the movie
didn't do much for me.
- That's nice, son.
But being in that theater, surrounded by all
those horny, young college boys and perverts...
- I mean, there was something in the air.
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry! Jesus!
- It's okay, sweetie.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, no, no. No problemo, Mikey.
- Don't worry about it.
- It's okay, Mikey. No problem.
Rut the wine down.
Just leave the wine on the table.
- Go ahead on in the kitchen.
- It's fine. It's fine.
- Nice save, Mikey.
- Sandy, help your brother, okay?
It's just... It's nothing.
It's fine. Thanks.
- You need help with that?
- We changed our couples group.
Now we're in some geriatric group.
Though I must admit
there are a couple oflookers.
But you two are still
sticking it out with Dr. Pasmier?
Oh, actually, Ben decided that...
Well, I mean we both decided...
I just... I just don't see
what the appeal is.
I mean, like Ted said,
people go in there...
and they just get themselves
all worked up, and, uh...
That's the point.
Then they go home and make up.
But Elena and l, we don't...
we don't go in for
those sort of histrionics.
About the only big fight
we've had in years...
was about whether or not
to go back into couples therapy.
- It appears you won.
- Oh, please don't.
- It's not a bother.
- I insist.
Don't touch them.
Oh.
- It's really quite all right.
Of course.
And to think,
they met at a key party, of all things.
- A key party?
Oh, you know, it's a California thing.
That scuzzy husband ofhers dragged her kicking
and screaming to one when they were out in L.A.
You know, the men put
their car keys in a bowl...
and at the end of the evening,
the women line up and fish them out.
And whoever's they've got,
they go home with.
Anyhow, that's how she met this Rod person,
or whatever his name is.
He's left his wife,
she's packing for California...
and Irwin is devastated.
- It's so ironic.
- Ironic?
Well...
Yes, ironic.
His name's Rod.
No, come on.
He's like a big, infected whitehead.
- I would never.
Shit. It's my parents.
He's so gross.
My drumstick was still frozen
when you, you know, cut inside there.
- Probably gonna get whatever that disease...
I knew it. Watch this.
- Dad, stop itl
- Get to sleep, young lady. I mean it.
Fascist.
If I were a fascist, I would have
sent you to one of those Southern
military academies a long time ago.
Now get to bed!
Hey.
Hey, kiddo.
Sleep well, huh?
Good night, Dad.
Ben.
...reduce its cash position...
especially during this period
of inflation.
- Elena? Elena Hood, am I right?
- Yes?
Reverend Edwards. Philip Edwards.
You came by and checked out the congregation
a couple of times last year.
Oh, yes. It was, um...
I ended up...
Oh, uh, no need to make excuses.
We're not for everyone, I know.
But, um, I did think for a time
that you might be someone who...
Well, what I mean is that you didn't seem to
think what we were trying to do is laughable...
like some of your fellow citizens
around hereabouts.
No. No, l-I didn't think it
laughable at all. I...
Perhaps you find in books
what I try to find in people.
That sounds vaguely like an insult.
Oh. My, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it that way at all. Um...
Perhaps I meant it simply
as a... a provocation.
She's a total Young Republican.
She said that you licked Dave Brewster's
weenie in the third floor bathroom.
She's lying. I wouldn't touch
Dave Brewster's dick if you paid me.
It's probably crawling with V.D.
from when he stuck it in her.
- Which he did.
Well, Donna said that her brother
and all his stupid friends were talking...
Come onl
Go on out. Come onl
- Aw, manl
Stonerl
- Come on. Let's play ball.
- Get it, get it!
I suppose my reluctance
was the group aspect of it.
I've never been much of a joiner.
Although I still consider myself
a somewhat religious person.
Well, l, of course, flatter myself
that our church is not exactly...
what most people would call
"organized religion."
At times, it's the disorganization
that's liberating.
Of course, I've begun to minister much more in
what one might call therapeutic environments...
in small groups and couples...
and, uh, one-on-one.
My daughter.
I haven't been on a bike for years.
When was the last time
you rode a bike?
They say you never forget.
- Hi, Wendy.
- Hey, Sandy.
- Mikey was looking for you.
- Oh, yeah? Okay.
See ya.
Want some gum?
- Devil Dog?
- Chewing.
Did you tell Sandy?
Tell Sandy what?
You didn't tell him either, did you?
We were golfing. You know, golfing to me
is something I'm supposed to enjoy.
And I was on
the goddamn golf team in college...
so it's something
one would assume I do well.
I used to do well.
But basically, these days,
golfing for me...
is like hoeing or plowing.
It's like farming.
And George Clair has obviously, in the mere
two years since he's been with the firm...
he has obviously been taking
secret lessons with a golf pro.
And I bet the entirety
of his disposable income...
has been dedicated
to humiliating me on the golf course.
And the guy talks nonstop...
throughout the entirety
of the miserable 18 holes...
- Ben.
- On topics that are the supposed domain
of my department.
- Ben.
- Yeah?
You're boring me.
I have a husband.
I don't particularly feel
the need for another.
You have a point there.
That's a very good point.
We're having an affair. Right.
An explicitly sexual relationship.
Your needs, my needs.
You're absolutely right.
You'd better get dressed.
The boys will be home soon.
Gotcha.
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Wendy.
It's funny. When I was in town,
I saw you on your bike.
- With Mikey?
- Who?
- Nobody.
- Mikey Carver?
Oh, we were just riding around.
Well, you looked very free
when I saw you.
As if I were seeing my own memories
of being a girl.
There was something internal about it.
Mom?
- Are you okay?
- Of course, Wendy. I'm sorry.
You must think I'm ripe
to be checked into Silver Meadows.
- You're not a psycho.
- People at Silver Meadows aren't psychos.
I know. They're rich drug addicts
and celebrities.
They need the money at school
for my band uniform.
I thought you quit the band.
I never hear you practice anymore.
Yeah, well,
I don't really need to practice.
I just play a few notes anyway,
so I figured I'd just stay in.
Well, um, I'm sure your father and I would
love to hear what you're playing these days.
Maybe after dinner?
The Halfords have invited us
again this year.
You want to go?
- Hmm. What do you think?
- Well, it's a neighborhood tradition.
I'm, uh... I'm gonna go to bed.
- So early?
- Mmm. Rough day. Good night.
Is that a new aftershave?
Uh, yeah. Uh, Musk or something.
- You like it?
- Mmm.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Hey, Mikey?
- Yeah.
- Geometry?
- Sure. Anything but this English.
How come you're so good at math,
but not at English?
I'm not good at math.
Just good at geometry.
It's, like, you know,
when they say "two squared"...
you think it means
"two times two equals four"?
But really, they really mean a square.
It's really space.
It's not numbers. It's space.
And it's perfect space,
but only in your head...
'cause you can't draw a perfect square
in the material world.
But in your mind,
you can have perfect space.
You know?
Yeah.
But I just need some help
with my homework.
Hey, guys. I'm back.
You were gone?
Yeah, Mikey. Yup.
I was in Houston working on
some great new ideas about silicon.
Comes from sand.
It's a semiconductor.
So how you guys doin'?
How's school?
Um, I don't know.
Okay, I guess.
Mmm.
All right.
Good trip?
You bet.
- Jim.
- Oh.
- Jesus.
- I'm sorry.
Hell, we gotta trade this thing in
for a normal bed.
Just be careful.
Okay.
Have you noticed anything
with Mikey lately?
The kid seemed
a little out of it tonight, huh?
Tonight? Mikey's been out of it
since he was born.
Guess the kid takes after me, huh?
"Molecules.
"Because of molecules, we are connected
to the outside world from our bodies.
"Like when you smell things,
because when you smell a smell...
"it's not really a smell.
"It's part of the object
that has come off of it... molecules.
"So when you smell something bad,
it's like, in a way, you're eating it.
"This is why you should not
really smell things...
"in the same way you don't eat
everything in the world around you...
"because, as a smell,
it gets inside of you.
"So the next time you go to the bathroom
after someone else has been there...
remember what kind of molecules
you are, in fact, eating. "
Mrs. Hood. Mrs. Hood.
Did you forget something?
- No. What?
- Uh, why don't we just come on in here?
I think maybe you forgot something.
To find yourself
in the Negative Zone...
as the Fantastic Four often do...
means that all everyday assumptions
are inverted.
Even the Invisible Girl herself
becomes visible...
and so she loses
the last semblance ofher power.
It seems to me that everyone exists
partially on a Negative Zone level...
some people more than others.
In your life, it's kind oflike
you dip in and out of it...
the place where things don't quite
work out the way they should.
But for some people, there's something
about the Negative Zone that tempts them...
and they end up going in,
going in all the way.
Sandy!
You idiotic little dope!
You could blow yourself fucking sky-high
with this demented crap!
Hey.
Hey.
I'll take this.
You're not gonna tell Dad, are you?
Would it matter?
What's this?
You know, it's the whip.
The one Uncle Frank got me
from Mexico.
It's not packed with explosives, is it?
No.
Play with the whip.
You turned them all down,
didn't you?
Well, I didn't love them.
And isn't it a fact
that you turned them down...
because these men wanted a home?
- Hi, Wendy.
- Hi, Mrs. Carver.
Mikey, have you heard the explosions
coming from the backyard?
Sir, I want children very much.
- I don't know.
- Do you know what your brother's been up to?
- ... was because you thought...
- I don't know.
he had a secret intention
not to want children?
That's not true I want... No, sir.
I want children very much,
and so does Bill.
In the past you would go to a gynecologist...
to find out why
you couldn't have children.
Yeah, I went to a doctor.
- What's the name of the doctor?
- Dr. Morris.
Then when that happened, you went
to another doctor and got a prescription.
- Isn't that true?
- No, sir, that is not true.
- Excuse me. Don't you kids have homework?
- Thanksgiving break.
Madam, if you deny that, we have
a witness in the courtroom, another druggist.
Take a look for yourself.
You're under oath.
All right! I did! Is it a crime?
No wonder the police can't find out
how the gang is transporting the stuff.
They're using milk trucks.
They're leaving.
Return the scanner and follow the truck.
Oh. After you.
Well, you can...
Hey, Sandy, what were you blowing up out there?
Your mom seemed pretty P.O. 'd.
- All my model planes.
- The ones you built?
Yeah.
They were getting old.
They couldn't fly anyhow.
I'm gonna get a radio-controlled airplane
for Christmas.
I'm gonna stuff it full of M-80s and fly it
into Mrs. Burgess's class and blow it up.
Well, I have to go to the bathroom.
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
This place is loaded with electronic bugs.
- It can't be transmitted.
- No, that would tell them that we're here.
What do you want?
What do you want?
Get out of here!
Get outl
Wendy.
A person's body is his temple.
This body is your first
and last possession.
Now, as your own parents
have probably told you...
in adolescence
our bodies tend to betray us...
and that's why in Samoa
and other developing nations...
adolescents are sent out
into the woods unarmed...
and they don't come back
till they've learned a thing or two.
Do you understand?
I don't ever wanna see you.
Then why'd you come after me?
Elena? Can you give me a hand here?
Oh!
I'm trying to get this turkey
defrosted before tomorrow.
There. Got it?
Can you take this?
Ohh!
- Sorry.
Here.
You all right there?
Oh, sure. I'm...
Um, did you remember
to pick up the cranberry sauce?
Uh, yes. Yes.
Because you like it
on your turkey sandwiches.
I do.
I'm...
Are... Are you...
I... I think l, uh...
- Elena, you know...
- Ben.
- I've been thinking...
- Ben, maybe no talking right now.
If you start talking,
you're going to...
Going to pick up Paul at the station.
You wanna come?
- No.
- What you been up to?
Nothing.
Your trip okay?
So, how's school treating you?
It's good.
- Classes?
- Fine.
- Grades?
- All right.
Anyone special? You know...
Uh-uh.
Well, it's good to see you.
We miss you around the house and all.
But this, uh... this... this St. Peter's,
it's top of the line, eh?
Oh, yeah.
You know, Paul, I was thinking,
this may be as good a time as any to...
have a little talk...
about, um...
- Well...
- About...
Uh, well, the whole gamut.
Uh, the facts of life, uh...
'Cause I tell you, there's things happening
that, uh, you're probably old enough to digest.
"Things."
Well...
things that happen between a...
Well, um...
on the self-abuse front...
And this is important.
Uh, I don't think it's advisable
to do it in the shower.
It wastes water and electricity...
and because we all expect you
to be doing it there in any case.
And, uh, not on, uh... onto the linen.
Well, uh, anyway...
if you're worried about anything at all,
just feel free to ask and, uh...
we'll look it up.
Dad, you know I'm 16.
Well, all the more reason
to be having this little heart-to-heart.
- Uh...
- Hi
Paul, uh, I was wondering, um...
could you do me a favor
and pretend I never said any of that?
- Sure, Dad.
- Thanks.
- Hi!
- Hello.
How are you?
- Hello, Charles.
Greetings, Charles.
How are the parental units
functioning these days?
Dad's doing his Up with Reople routine.
Mom really hasn't been saying much.
I don't know.
Dad seems a little weird. You know? Nervous?
Yeah, well, wait till Mom
finally opens her mouth.
Do you think they're headed
for, like, the dustbin of history?
Divorce court?
Well, they dropped out of
their couples' group therapy thing.
Is that good or bad?
May I operate
the telephonic apparatus?
Why don't you use
the one downstairs?
I'm calling an individual, Charles,
in New York...
confirming a social outing
for Friday night.
Can I come?
It's a one-on-one kinda date thing.
- With who?
- Her name's Libbets.
Libbets?
What kind of a name is Libbets?
- Is that my record?
- Yeah, but...
You have messed with my shit, Charles.
Well, it's great
that we can all be together.
And this Thanksgiving
no yelling, no hysteria...
especially with your grandpa
not here...
although we miss him.
So let's do it right.
Wendy, why don't you say grace?
You used to love to say grace.
Remember?
Dear Lord, thank you
for this Thanksgiving holiday...
and for all the material possessions
that we have and enjoy...
and for letting us white people
kill all the Indians and steal their tribal lands...
- And stuff ourselves like pigs...
- Okay. Okay.
even though children in Asia
are being napalmed...
Jesus! Enough! All right!
- Paul, roll?
- Thank you.
- Can I have the gravy?
- Uh-huh.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Are you having one?
In a bit.
You know, I think Elena
might suspect something.
Maybe it's all for the better.
You know?
Yesterday at dinner she...
Well, she didn't say anything.
Has she acted funny to you?
I mean, have you noticed anything?
- Have I noticed anything?
- Mmm.
I'm not married to her, Benjamin, you are.
I think you've probably a better vantage point
from which to observe her.
Yeah, but, uh, I've been
working a lot lately and...
No, that's not it. I...
I guess maybe we're just
on the verge of... saying something.
Saying something to each other.
On the verge.
I'll be back.
- Hmm?
- Birth control.
Right. Gotcha.
[Exhales]
Janey?
No one's here.
I mean, we could just watch TV.
Maybe we can mess around.
You know?
Only if you want to.
I don't know.
Why did you, with Sandy?
I don't know.
Do you like him?
He worships you.
What's that?
- Oh, wow!
- Wendy.
I won't take my pants off.
I'll touch it,
but that's as far as it goes.
- When Worlds Collide.
- What?
4:30 movie.
When Worlds Collide.
What the hell are you kids
doing down here?
What do you think we're doing, Dad?
What do I think?
I think you're probably...
touching each other.
I think, uh, you're touching
that reckless jerk-off, for God's sake...
and I think he's trying
to get into your slacksl
I think at 14 years of age
you're getting ready to give up your girlhood.
- Hey, hang on there, Mr. Hood.
- Don't you direct a single word at me, Mikey.
I don't wanna hear it.
I'll be discussing this matter
with your parents very soon.
Young lady.
- Talking to me, Dad?
- Who else would I be talking to?
And take that thing off!
Then forget all the stern dad stuff.
I'm not interested in your smart remarks
right now, young lady.
Let's go. Right nowl
You and I can discuss it on the walk home.
Look, kiddo, don't worry about it.
I really don't care that much.
I'm just not sure
he's right for you, is all.
- Huh?
It's just, you develop a sense...
when you're older...
if things are gonna work out
or if they won't.
And sometimes it's...
not worth the mess.
Your toes cold?
Come on. I'll carry you.
Hey, should I dress
for the Halfords now, or...
- Give me your...
- It's up to you.
I'd like to go early
and leave pretty soon after that.
I get you loud and clear.
- Hey, you look nice.
- Thanks.
So, where have you two been?
You'll never guess where I found her.
You found her?
In the basement atJaney and Jim's...
with that weirdo Mikey.
Not even a TV on.
And they're on the floor,
and he's got his trousers undone...
though, thank goodness,
she was still dressed.
Well, I really let him have it.
And Wendy came home peacefully.
So, what were you doing
in the Carvers' basement anyway?
I was just dropping off a coffee cup.
Jim left it last time he was over.
It was on the dash of the car.
You were, you know, reading.
- I just wanted to catch some air.
- Oh, right, right. The mustache coffee cup.
- The one that was sitting on the dash.
- Yeah. That one.
That one.
- See ya!
- Stay out of trouble.
- You'll be on the 10:30 train?
- 11:30.
- Paul.
- Oh, let the guy have some fun.
What's the name of this girl
with the fancy New York address?
Libbets. Libbets Casey.
Libbets?
What sort of name is Libbets?
Just get a taxi home from the station tonight.
It's supposed to storm.
Okay. Bye.
Bye.
World's inquiry on Thursday.
And that ends tonight's coverage
of the Watergate affair.
- In other news outside...
A few light snow showers
which quickly turn to light rain...
unless that rain comes down
even harder tonight...
accompanied by
rapidlly decreasing temperatures...
getting down to around freezing
by midnight.
Drivers in particular, beware.
It's gonna get awfully icy
on those roads.
- We have a severe weather warning...
- What's for dessert?
- See for yourself.
- No advice from the experts, eh?
Flood warnings for parts of
Southern Connecticut and theJersey shore.
- Let's go to our weather map now...
for the grim details.
A line of showers now located across
central New Jersey is sweeping our way...
and is expected to arrive
in our area within the hour.
Look, uh...
Don't start.
- Do you... Do you... Do you think I...
- I have no idea.
Well, what's on your mind?
I mean, you...
It wouldn't make for a pleasant evening,
if that's what you're after.
I don't want to talk about it.
Stupid mustache cup.
- What do you mean?
- Don't be dim.
I know you think I'm so dense.
You think I'm so dense...
that now you want to be seen with your
dense wife at the cocktail party.
And you want me to shake hands with
your friends and make conversation...
and you're not going to accord me
the respect of talking honestly about this.
You don't really know
what this feels like.
I didn't...
Technically,
it's not what you're thinking, Elena.
Please have the decency to at least
not tell me what I'm thinking.
Oh, Ben! Elena!
Wonderful.
- Wonderful. Come in.
- Thank you. Great to see ya.
- Ooh, I just got lipstick...
- That's all right.
- Good to see you too.
- Ah.
Would you care to play?
New this year.
It's strictly volunteer, of course.
You can put your coats
in the library if you like.
Oh, damn.
Um, I've left the, um...
- Oh, you've...
- In the car.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Oh. Right.
We'll, um... We'll be right back.
Okay.
Oh, Rob.
The, uh, stuffed tomatoes.
This just isn't
the best moment for this.
- I know. I know.
- I had no idea.
- That this was going to be a key party?
Yeah. Well, if we'd understood, uh,
we could've invented some sort of excuse.
A key party.
Did you see how stuffed
that bowl was already?
Well?
I think we're here,
and we don't have to stay. We, uh...
ought simply to put in an appearance,
and then we can head home.
You have some marker.
That's what I think.
If you wanna know the truth,
you have some marker.
And you're gonna put it on
the house keys so thatJaney can find it.
Then when I get back to the house,
I'm gonna find the two of you in there...
and Wendy will be able to hear you,
and Paul will be back and he'll hear you.
- And I'll catch you. That's what I think.
- Elena.
It's not what you think.
It's not some big plot.
Honestly, l-I...
I don't feel good about it.
I just...
I don't know.
Well, I'm really pleased
to hear a confession.
Elena, you're just getting
wound up to get wound up.
Let's just go to this fiasco.
If that's what you want.
Let's just go on in.
I'd rather talk
to anyone else but you.
My dear, he wrote her out of the will,
and now her attorneys are, um...
- This has been goin' on for years... Her attorneys...
- Oh, Dot.
- Ben.
- Hey, Jack.
- How you doin'? You're soaked.
- Good to see ya.
- Well...
- Hell of a night out there.
You know my wife, Ronnie.
- Yeah, nice to see you. I'm just gonna go...
- Hey, Benjie.
- Hey, Mark. How you doin'?
- Good to see you.
Great to see you.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Excuse me.
Hey, Maude. How are you?
- Well, well, well. Ben.
- Pierce, how you doin'?
- Did I see Elena?
- Uh, she's here, yeah. Just gonna get a drink.
- Excuse me.
- Benjie.
Clair. George Clair. What the hell
brings you to New Canaan?
Well, it's the funniest thing.
I've been talking
to some investors...
little, uh, outside venture,
you understand, between you and me...
- Oh.
- About a scheme to manufacture
a new Styrofoam packaging.
These little, um, uh...
these peanut-like pieces...
really keep an item free
from trauma during shipping.
It's miraculous.
Anyway, it turns out...
that the genius behind the whole project
is your neighbor, Jim Carver.
How about that?
Well, isn't that
a one-in-a-million coincidence?
A real dreamer, ourJim Carver, eh?
Darn right. Listen, I'm gonna make
a break for the hors d'oeuvres guy.
Right. See you, uh,
bright and early Monday a.m.
Say, uh, where's the wife?
Uh, in Rhode Island with her folks.
I'm a free agent tonight.
How are you?
Oh, geez, Benjie.
Well, here you are.
Damn right.
Where the hell were you?
What are you talking about?
Don't bullshit me around, Janey.
Jesus Christ.
I waited around for more than half an hour
in nothing but my boxer shorts and...
- Ben, Janey.
- Oh, hi, Dorothy, Ted.
What's all that about?
I mean, what the hell happened?
A prior engagement overcame me.
- What?
- Listen, Benjamin Hood...
I have obligations that precede your...
from before you showed up.
I mean, one or two good-natured
encounters... that doesn't mean I'm...
I'm not just some toy for you.
When I remembered some chores
I wanted to get done before the party...
I just did them, that's all.
'Cause I wanted to get them done
before I saw Jimmy.
Jimmy?
Jimmy?
I'm not sure how to take this.
What do you mean, Jimmy?
I thought you and your husband...
How you take it isn't all
that interesting to me, Benjamin.
I'm sorry.
I just can't believe
you could be so...
Now approaching
our final stop, Grand Central Station.
Grand Central Station.
Excellent.
We were waiting.
We?
You ought to read this, Hood.
Nixon, our leader.
All ye need know about
the travails of life.
- Check out the Checkers speech stuff.
- Francis.
You're gonna leave the seeds in there?
In the binding like that?
- All will be revealed, baby.
- May look like just ordinary rain,
but don't be deceived, Dan.
When this falls to the ground,
it's turning immediately...
to the hard, slick and slippery stuff...
Significant sleet and rain.
Major.
Hey there, you young knight.
Can you, uh, check on the mead?
Can you sally forth and
secure us some more mead?
- Huh?
- Moisture. Moisture.
Fuck.
Maybe put something on my jacket.
Yeah.
Frankie opens his with his teeth.
Hey, that's a sellable skill.
Hell on the fillings.
Oh, man. Everything's gonna freeze,
you know? Big freeze.
Yeah. Paul, are you
gonna get home okay?
- Yeah.
... more or less took the form
of offering to assist the surgeon...
who was assisting the surgeon
who did the operation.
Elena?
Reverend Edwards.
Perhaps you might find it
in your heart to call me Philip.
- You're here. I'm a bit surprised.
Sometimes the shepherd needs
the company of the sheep.
I'm going to try hard not to
understand the implications of that.
- Forgive me.
I hope those weren't my keys.
Eureka.
Valium. Seconal.
Paregoric?
Francis Davenport IV, tonight...
you sleep the sleep of the just.
And whence has yon
virginal maiden absconded?
Oh, into one of the other 20 or so
bathrooms they got in this place.
Check it out.
Not for the faint of heart.
Pharmaceuticals!
You are a god.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
One for you... and one for me.
No candy for me?
Groovy. Young master of the revels,
a treat for our hostess.
Um... Well, uh, I don't... I don't...
- What is it?
- Come on, Paulie. Share the wealth.
- I mean, you copped 'em
from her mom's stash anyway.
- Let's see.
Libbets, you really shouldn't mix
and match. You know, with the beer.
I'm gonna put 'em back.
Oh, far out, Paulie. Hey, look,
these expired, like, five months ago.
Think they're better aged?
- Maybe you should just have a half.
Thanks for the advice, dad.
All right.
- Benjie.
- Hey.
Feelin' no pain.
The Indian saying goes,
"Pain is merely an opinion."
Hey, check it out.
Maria Conrad brought her son.
I wish some of the gang
had brought their daughters.
- Thank you, Brian.
- Hood residence.
- Your parents at that party?
Yeah. Yours?
You get in trouble?
I don't know.
I can't really tell yet.
Sorry if I got you into trouble.
Yeah.
- People start pollution.
- I'm gonna check out the ice storm.
- People can stop it.
- Wanna come?
Maybe. I don't know.
Where are you going?
- Out.
- It's freezing.
Yeah.
Then why are you going?
When it freezes, I guess that means
the molecules are not moving.
So when you breathe,
there's nothing in the air...
you know, to breathe into your body.
The molecules have stopped.
It's clean.
When you're asking yourself
this question, "What is 'is'?" and...
Oh, wait. This is the... the... the training
where they don't let you go to the bathroom.
That was the hard part, but I did it.
- The foot.
The foot.
Toe clipper man.
I guess he's just really exhausted
from, you know, tests and stuff.
Yeah.
- You know, Libbets...
I really feel...
you know, like,
a real connection to you.
Yeah.
- You don't even know me really.
- Sure I do.
Like, your aura that you give off.
My what?
It's, like, very positive.
And, um...
I feel a real...
special feeling for you.
I have a special feeling
for you too...
'cause l-I do...
Special.
- You do?
- Yeah.
To me, you're just like a...
I feel for you
like you're my o-own...
You're just like a...
- Brother.
- Brother.
- Yeah, you're not alone with that line.
- I do.
You are.
Right. That's cool.
Um...
So, how about we take
a bath together?
You're funny.
- A bath.
Like... Like a brother and sister.
Oh, man.
- I'm so wasted.
Hello?
Wendy?
Sandy, you scared the shit out of me.
What are you doing?
I just thought I'd stop by.
Mike's out.
I think he went to Silver Meadow...
to see if you were
hanging around there.
Yeah.
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
- Good night.
Okay, everyone. We have
a little business to attend to now.
So, everyone who'd like to stay,
please gather in the living room.
- Knock, knock.
All right. Everybody, I've got the bowl.
We're gonna start now,
so nobody go anywhere.
I'm talking to you, Fred.
- Oh, my... Ohl
- No, no.
You ready to go?
We're not going anywhere.
Ohl
Don't go anywhere.
Mark? Mark, where'd you go?
Check this out. He's supposed
to say all sorts of stuff...
but he's kind of malfunctioned.
Mayday! Mayday!
Get this message back to base!
Same thing, again and again.
It's gonna get a lot
colder tonight, I predict.
Maybe even a blackout.
Maydayl Maydayl
Get this message back to basel
Do you have candles in your house?
I know where the candles are.
And I know where every
emergency exit is on this floor.
This knot's called
a hangman's noose.
Let's hang him.
He's dead.
If it wasn't raining, we could
take him outside and blow him up.
He wouldn't blow up.
He'd just get all mangled or twisted.
Well, looks like someone
got to its private parts before us.
Communist Vietcong.
He left it in the jungle.
Can I get in your bed...
with you?
Well?
- What shall the order be?
Alphabetical?
In order of appearance?
- Golf handicap.
Lowest handicap does the honors.
That'd be Benjie.
Ladies, isn't this really up to you?
It's up to one of us.
Oh, hell, I'll go first.
All right, all right.
That's it.
And the winner is?
Have fun. Have fun.
- Go get her, killer.
- This is great.
Good night.
- Good luck.
- Okay, here goes.
- Drive carefully.
Okay, Pammy.
Want a drink?
- Vodka?
- You never tasted the stuff?
Try again.
Feels warm.
One more shot?
Under the covers?
- Get 'em off.
Have you ever had
a nocturnal emission?
Huh?
It's when you wake up
and you find this pool of sticky stuff...
like after a sexy dream.
They haven't told you
about this stuff yet?
On what planet are you living on?
I love you.
That's nice.
Are you drunk?
I don't know.
How do I know?
I don't know either.
You spin around
when you lie down, I think.
I don't think I'm spinning.
- How did you guess?
- Good night, George.
- Let's go.
Gentlemen, good night.
- Good night, George.
- Ladies, good night.
- Good night.
- Sleep well, George.
Oh, my own husband.
Isn't that against the rules?
- Try again.
- No.
- No, no, that's...
- No, thanks.
- That's fine.
- Come on, honey. That was too easy.
Getting down to the wire.
Hey.
No, no, no.
Benl
- Whoa, whoa. You okay?
- God, you scared me.
He's okay.
He'll be okay.
Come on.
You okay?
Ben?
Sorry.
Sorry.
l, uh... Maybe, uh, the bathroom?
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's right down the hall.
- Up we go.
- Mm-hmm.
Hang on.
Hold the train!
- Hold it!
- Watch your step.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I have to say I don't have
much faith that my car keys...
are still in that bowl.
It doesn't seem very safe
leaving your car keys laying around.
Let me.
Thanks, but...
Oh, I don't think so.
It's been kind of
a discouraging evening.
Well, you couldn't have hoped for
much better when you came up the walk.
Somehow it seemed different in
my imagination when I thought about it.
Actually, I didn't
think about it at all really.
You want some coffee or something?
Elena...
the fact that we're neighbors...
close friends...
well, it makes all this
seem a little strange...
don't you think?
My husband is probably
passed out in the bathroom.
Or at least he wishes he were.
I've been married to him for 17 years, and
I have no intention of going in there to get him.
So, what I'm proposing is that...
since your wife went off with a boy
and since you are here alone...
I'm proposing that you and I
do what makes sense.
Stay warm, pass some time.
That's all.
Now don't make me feel
as if I'm being too forward.
- If you don't...
- What the hey. Let's go for a drive.
Okay.
- Whoa!
- Oh, Jim! Hold on to me. Hold on.
Maybe we shouldn't be driving.
We're gonna go for a drive.
I think we should go for a drive.
Thanks.
- We're gonna have to defrost this thing for a while.
Do these seats go back?
Oh!
Oh, God.
That was awful.
Really awful.
I'm so sorry, Elena.
Um, look.
Can you wait here a sec?
l, uh... I need to tidy up.
Uh, just a minute. I'll, uh...
I'll be right back. Will you wait?
Of course.
Elena.
Ben, I've got a ride home.
Maybe you should sleep this one off
on the couch here.
- I'll drive you.
- No. No, Ben. No.
You're in no condition to drive.
We'll talk in the morning, okay?
You get some sleep
on the couch out there?
I'll try.
We'll talk in the morning.
We'll talk in the morning.
Shit!
- Jim, stop it. Stop itl
- Easy does it. Easy.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm all right.
Whoo!
Oh, no.
When you think about it...
it's not easy to keep from
just wandering out oflife.
It's like someone's always leaving
the door open to the next world...
and if you aren't paying attention,
you could just walk through it...
and then you've died.
That's why in your dreams it's like
you're standing in that doorway...
and the dying people
and the newborn people pass by you...
and brush up against you as they come in
and out of the world during the night.
You get spun around,
and in the morning...
it takes a while to find
your way back into the world.
Yeah.
Phone's out.
Hope the pipes...
- Oh, wow.
- Why don't you put on some dry socks.
Uh, and there are some, uh, rain boots
in the guest closet back there.
- Last room downstairs.
- Thanks.
Get dressed.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
This train, originating from New York's
Grand Central Station, is back in service.
Next stop will be
New Canaan, Connecticut.
New Canaan, Connecticut, next stop.
Jim! Janey!
Ben.
Jim, he was just...
up in Silver Lane.
I think a power line...
Mikey.
Oh, Mikey.
Ben.
Ben.