It happens every spring
The world is young again
Where children on an up-sa-daisy swing
A carousel with horses freshly painted
The oompapa that says, "Let's get acquainted."
Well, hello. Remember me?
I was the lucky stiff married to Linda Darnell in
The Letter to Three Wives.
You just caught me thinking about the time
I was a radio announcer.
Covering sports, mostly.
There was a guy in those days
with the most amazing,
the nuttiest story I ever heard
He was a screwball named Vernon.
And he invented a baseball
nobody could hit.
Astonishing.
Screwball that he was
he certainly could pick dames.
Dames with curves nobody could miss.
Isn't he wonderful?
And then, into the sweet and wonderful romance
came one of the most
cultured, refined gentlemen I know.
Me.
Now this Vernon takes the ball nobody can hit
and parley's it into the most hilarious
dipsy-doodle adventures
that ever amazed an ape.
It happens every spring
This Kelly or Vernon is quite a character,
but he can pick dames.
You know, young lady, I could
fall in love with you myself very easy.
I'm serious, Debbie.
That's why I can't say anything.
Because if a man is really serious,
he doesn't have the right to
say anything until he can be serious.
Vernon,
what are you talking about?
It happens every spring
Your dad rolls up his sleeves
to clean the attic.
Your sixteen-year-old sister
goes dramatic.
It happens.
Yes, it happens.
It happens.
It always happens.
It happens every spring!
It happens every spring
The world is young again
Where children on an up-sa-daisy swing
A carousel with horses freshly painted
The oompapa that says, "Let's get acquainted."
What is that cheer I heard?
A fellow stealing third
Your neighbor's boy became a home-run king
Your dad rolls up his sleeves to clean the attic
Your sixteen-year-old sister goes dramatic
It happens,
Yes, it happens
It happens every spring
Well, after all, you simply can't
miss your own senior prom, Debbie.
Maybe he's never thought about it.
Why don't you drop him a few hints?
I've tried that.
But Vernon just doesn't get hints.
Well, I'll see ya.
Bye!
Hello, Miss Collins.
Is Dad busy?
Very.
Professor Forsythe is in there now.
Chemistry Forsythe?
I bet they're talking about Vernon.
I have no idea what they're talking about.
Well, I'll have to find out later.
Vernon's waiting for me.
Give Dad a message, will you?
Tell him I said not to be so nosey.
[Phone rings]
Hello?
Mr. Jack Bell?
Just a minute, please.
Will you talk to Mr. Jack Bell?
Excuse me.
Hello, Jack!
Yes, yes I got your letter.
No, of course I won't speak.
I'm trying to deemphasize athletics,
not glorify them.
I know, Alfred.
I know I'm waving a
red flag in front of a bull,
but one man we've invited might give you
some dough for that new laboratory.
Well, that sounds very interesting, Jack.
I'd like to meet him.
But, uh, not at a football dinner.
[indistinct crowd noise]
Well, goodbye.
Now, that's what I want
to talk to you about.
What do you mean? Debbie?
No, Simpson. Vernon Simpson.
Well, what about him?
Now that's what I want you to tell me, Joe.
I want to know all about him.
Well, Vernon is a fine young man.
Brilliant scholar, serious, energetic.
And his background?
He comes from upstate somewhere.
Has a widowed mother
who's as poor as a church mouse.
Why do you want to know, Alfred?
Well, you saw why just now.
Debbie seems to have taken
quite a fancy to him.
And, uh, vice-versa.
Debbie couldn't have picked a better lad.
Incidentally, he's my candidate for
director of the research labratory.
Simpson?
Yes, I intend to submit his name
to you and the board.
That is, as soon as he
completes his doctorate.
But, he's no youngster, Joe.
He should've had his PhD years ago.
Well, he spent 3 years in the South Pacific.
Chemical warfare.
And before that he worked on
a number of other ideas.
And he, uh, well
he's just had bad luck
Are you being absolutely honest with me, Joe?
Are you sure there's nothing else?
Yes, there is something, Alfred, but. . .
What is it?
Women?
No, no. It's just these phases that he goes through.
Phases? What do you mean, phases?
Well, from October to April Vernon's alert,
conscientious, and an excellent teacher.
But every spring he seems to
undergo a peculiar change.
He becomes absent-minded to a degree.
It's like spring fever,
only it lasts all summer.
He's been around our house quite a bit lately.
I haven't noticed these symptoms.
It's past the middle of April now.
Yes. Oh, he's been fine all winter, Alfred.
Only, this is just the time of the year.
I'm expecting it to hit him almost any time.
It happens every spring.
Continuing our study of the
general group know as acids
we are now coming to a
very important classification.
The most striking difference
between the various acids
containing the carboxylate group lies in their
acidic strength.
Or, we might say they are ionization constants.
Some fairly active, while others. . .
are quite inert.
Oh!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
To illustrate-
I have in this test tube acetic acid.
Like many others of a similar type,
it's a rather weak acid of low Ka value.
By adding methyl orange,
you'll notice the bright pink color.
Which tells us that acetic acid
though weak, is decidedly . . .
. . . coming home. Another run for Chicago.
is decidedly . . .
. . . second inning.
First home game of the season here in St. Louis.
Lauren gets a signal from Madigan.
He takes a strike.
He throws.
Ball one on Hardeman.
Manager Dolan looks worried.
Here he comes out of the dugout.
He doesn't wanna lose this game.
D-d-d-decidedly an acid as your knowledge
of domestic vinegar might, uh,
[Bell rings]
I'm afraid I'll have to continue
this discussion the next time.
What is it Vernon? Don't you feel well?
Oh, I feel fine, just fine.
I . . .
Well, what was it?
You acted so strangely.
You suddenly looked as if you were
a thousand miles away.
No. No, only 68.
I, I mean I was only thinking
about something else.
Was it me, Vernon?
No, no.
Vernon.
Yes?
I was thinking about it while you were lecturing.
I know you're shy and reserved and all,
and I've tried to make allowances.
But. . .
But what?
Well, don't you understand?
I guess I know how you feel.
But just guessing isn't very satisfying.
I mean, well -
well, you're so terribly vague.
Oh, but I'm not, Debbie.
I'm not a bit vague.
I'm very definite about you.
Why you're almost everything
I ever think about.
Almost.
What else can I say?
Something concrete, Vernon.
Something positive.
Oh, but that's been out of the question up until now.
I hardly make enough at my job to live on.
And your father, for instance.
He's made it quite clear that for
anyone in my present financial situation
to even discuss the -
But, Vernon -
I'm serious, Debbie.
That's why I can't say anything,
because if a man is really serious,
he doesn't have the right to say anything
until he can be serious.
Vernon, what are you talking about?
I'm talking about 3 hours from now.
Maybe sooner. Maybe any minute.
And what's going to happen 3 hours from now?
In less than 3 hours I'll know about my experiment.
You mean you've done it?
Just about.
Oh, darling!
I'm so happy!
I haven't told you the best part.
I just heard about it myself yesterday.
My nydrocyclohexene compound
was a great commercial value.
We can buy a house, maybe even own a car.
Oh, that's wonderful.
But who's going to pay you all this money?
The Norworth Labratories.
It seems they've been working along
the same lines for years,
trying to develop a substance that will
keep insects or any living matter away from wood.
A biophobic, they call it.
And they seem to think that my compound
is the very thing they're looking for.
Vernon Simpson.
The man who discovered the biophobic.
Of course, I'd have to test its
effectiveness on wood,
but that's just routine.
Well, let's not just stand here talking about it.
Let's go find out.
Can't expect any positive results right away.
Oh, but we can look!
Hallelujah, there it is!
The white precipitant.
Sure enough, there it is.
Oh, congratulations, Vernon!
Oh, my notebook.
My notebook!
[CRASH]
Oh. There goes everything.
Just when I had it.
Oh, Vernon.
Little brats.
No degree. No job. No nothing.
You still have your notes and everything.
It can't take long.
Long?
You don't understand, Debbie.
One of those compounds alone
took 5 weeks to crystallize,
and they're all in sequence.
I can't make the second until I finish the first.
And look at these notes.
You might get some idea of the time
and work it took.
Why, I ran some of those reactions
six and eight times before I got enough
stuff to make the next step.
Now I'm going to start from scratch.
Do it all over again, step by step.
It'll take months.
That wonderful precipitate.
It's all there in the sink.
Isn't there any way you can
filter it out and save it?
Oh, that's just a hodge-podge of compounds
and ice and everything else now.
You couldn't even figure out what's in there,
let alone filter anything out.
Well, I suppose I better clean up this mess.
Can't I help?
No, dear, you just run along.
But, Vernon. . .
Darling, there's nothing you can say,
and there's nothing I can say.
Oh, Vernon.
This hasn't changed anything
as far as we're concerned.
You know that.
It's changed everything.
Darling, you mustn't feel that way.
Let me talk to you.
Please, Dear, right now-
All right. I'll see you later.
[water running]
And that puts Chicago out front 4 to nothing.
And here comes Hank Rubella.
He's the 3rd pitcher Dolan's used today.
Jimmy doesn't look happy out there.
Pitchers are his big headache.
St. Louis has a great team.
Good hitting and fielding.
With one more top-notch pitcher
Dolan might cop that pennant.
Owner Edgar Stone would like to
buy one for him, too.
But first class pitchers are scarcer
than hen's teeth this year.
Stone can't buy one for love nor money.
Astonishing.
We're Scmidtt and Isabell, Sir.
You sent for us?
Oh, yes.
Yes, so I did.
You gentlemen are doing rather
sadly in organic chemistry.
I suppose you're aware of that.
Yes, we are, sir.
Well, I don't like to flunk you.
You're both on the baseball team, so -
I had assigned some special reading.
But instead I thought I might be able to
give you some pointers,
see if we can't improve your grades.
Say, that's mighty decent of you sir.
And, in return, I was wondering if you'd
do something for me,
and keep it strictly confidential?
Sure, we'd be glad to Mr. Simpson.
Certainly, sir.
Good. Will you meet me at the baseball field
at the batting cage with your
uniforms and equipment
at five o' clock?
[Both] Five o' clock?
In the morning.
Now, if you'll just get some chairs,
we'll get started.
Now you're basic trouble is that you
haven't learned the meanings
of technical terms.
So let's get clear what we mean by
methyl, ethyl, propyl . . .
Perhaps I'd better warm up a bit first.
OK, Professor.
Alright, here we go. Right in here.
So this is why he got us up at
5:30 in the morning,
so he could play pitcher.
Yeah, but he can't really be nuts,
or they wouldn't let him teach.
Yeah, well, it's one way of
passing chemistry, anyway.
Shut up, now. We gotta humor him.
Hey, that's a good one!
Now, if you'll step up, Mr. Isabell.
Just a minute, Mr. Simpson.
OK, Mr. Simpson, now let's go in there.
Let's have a little of this methyl, ethyl,
propyl, and butyl on that ball!
Here we go, hey!
Whoa.
Well, never mind, Mr. Simpson,
we'll get him on this next one.
Here we go!
[Smack]
[Smack]
Too bad I didn't have an outfielder in my class.
Now if you don't mind,
I think I'll try just a few more.
Sure, if you want to, Mr. Simpson.
Now, use your bean this time,
will you Tommy.
Bunt one.
Okay, okay.
[Whoop]
Wow! Did you see the hop on that ball?
That's a regular dipsy-doodle
you got there Professor.
How'd ya do it?
The result of a great deal of scientific research.
Alright, now here we go.
That's the old pepper in there.
Right down the old groove here.
Here we go.
[Whoop]
Wow. That's making them hop in there,
Professor, old boy.
Hit one this time, Tommy,
he'll think you're faking.
I ain't missing them on purpose.
Here we go, Professor, right in there, now.
Thank you, gentlemen, I'm sure you've had enough.
You hit three consecutive pitches,
then you missed three in a row.
Statistically, therefore, I've obtained
all the information possible.
Unless, of course, I pitch
several hundred more balls.
Statistics.
He got us up at 5:00 in the morning for statistics.
Is Dr. Greenleaf up yet?
Why, yes sir, but I. . .
I'm sorry to bother you so early, Dr. Greenleaf,
but I have to make the 7:14.
Oh. Is it an emergency, Vernon?
Yes, sir.
Illness, a death in the family?
No, sir. Not that kind of an emergency.
Well, what kind is it?
Well, I have a wonderful opportunity, Dr. Greenleaf.
It may not work out, but I'd like a
leave of absence starting immediately.
Mr. Richardson can finish my classes,
and Miss Brinkhoffer can take over my lab periods.
Leave of absence? For how long?
I don't know, sir. Indefinitely?
You mean you want an
emergency leave of absence to last indefinitely?
I don't understand this, Vernon.
Well, I'm afraid I can't explain it, sir.
That is, I can, but
scientifically I can't explain it at all.
You mean it has something to do with your experiment?
Yes, sir. But unless I get a chance to demonstrate it-
Oh, you intend to give demonstrations,
uh, lectures of some kind?
Well, no, not exactly.
Well, what are you going to do?
Take it to some commercial labratory
like the one you mentioned?
What was it?
Norworth Laboratories.
Well then, why is the time indefinite?
Will you grant me the leave, Dr. Greenleaf?
If I don't go now, I'll miss my train.
Well, I don't know, Vernon.
It's most unusual right in the midst of a semester,
but if this is really such an
extraordinary scientific contribution,
I don't suppose we should stand in your way.
Um, alright, Vernon. Catch your train.
I'll talk to Forsythe.
Oh, thank you, sir.
Oh, is Debbie still asleep?
Well, I presume so.
Will you tell her I said goodbye,
that she'll hear from me soon?
Thank you, sir.
All Aboard!
[Train chugging]
[Typing]
Morning.
I wanna see Mr. Dolan, please.
He won't see anybody on game days.
Oh, but this is urgent.
I know. Everybody's urgent.
What do you want to see him about?
Well, it's a personal matter.
Well, he doesn't have anything
to do with the concessions.
-Neither do I.
-Good Morning, Mr. Dolan.
Good morning.
Oh, Mr. Dolan!
-Mr. Dolan, I wanna talk to you.
-Not today.
But listen to me, Mr. Dolan.
This could mean a great deal to you.
You heard what I said.
Run along. I'm busy.
Ms. Manglestein-
I'm not asking for any
money or any favors, Mr. Dolan.
I'm trying to do you one.
Then do it. Get out of here.
Mr. Terry wants to know-
Not this morning.
I've gotta go right down to batting practice.
This wire from Denver.
[Phone rings]
Hello.
Yeah, yeah. I'll be right down.
About this pitcher,
Chop Suey or whatever his name is-
Cop Suley.
Cop Suley, yeah well wire them I want him.
Just a minute.
Before you send this wire-
Will you get out of here!
No, I will not.
Ms. Manglestein, send for one of the cops.
I'm a pitcher, Mr. Dolan,
and you need one very badly.
Now, I can win the pennant for you
Oh, that's all I need this morning,
another crackpot.
I am no crackpot, and that's no idle boast.
It's a simple, mathematical fact.
Look, I heard what you said, Mister.
But we don't hire ball players that way.
Now if you'll just-
I realize that, but the
circumstances are rather unusual.
I can win thirty games for you.
Thirty games.
Is that all?
Well, no, thirty is the minimum.
Ah no, you're not very screwy.
Do you know there ain't more than a dozen pitchers
ever won thirty games in a season?
Of course I do,
and I can give you their names if you like.
Never mind.
Look, all I want to do is to show you.
What can you lose?
My lunch is all.
Where is that cop?
Mac, take this guy away.
Yes, sir.
Don't hurt his arm. He thinks he's Walter Johnson.
You know you're very stupid, Mr. Dolan.
With the chance to win the pennant right in your lap.
Get him outta here!
Come on now, pal. You're annoying Mr. Dolan.
You know if you would shout less and think more-
What's all the rumpus, Jimmy?
I got another crank in here, thinks he's a pitcher.
Thinks he can win thirty games.
You, I take it, are Mr. Stone?
Well, I appeal to your intelligence as an executive.
I'm perfectly rational and willing to
prove the truth of anything I may say.
All I want is a chance to demonstrate.
Mac.
-Come on.
-How do these characters get in here?
I walked in, Mr. Stone.
But I'm about to walk out again
without a police escort.
And when I do, the pennant
walks right out the door with me.
Come on, Sonny.
Jim, take your pennant and trot along.
Take a good look at me Mr. Stone.
All the other owners can't be pigheads.
You'll see me later in the season.
Just a minute, young man.
So I'm a pighead, am I?
You walk in off the street
and think you can win thirty games.
I don't think so, Mr. Stone. I know it.
Know it?
I have never met such bland conceit.
I told you. He's a crackpot.
No he's not. He's just a conceited jackass.
Alright, you talk to him. I'm going to batting practice.
Batting practice, eh?
I think we oughta teach this
whipper-snapper here a lesson.
Then take him in your office
and teach him anything you like,
but let me go.
No, not in my office. Down on the field.
Let him pitch to the boys.
OK. It's your ball club.
If you wanna run a kindergarten for crackpots.
Now, young man, you're going to have your wish.
And you're going to get the humiliation
of your arrogant young life.
And I'm coming down to see it.
I was hoping you would.
Come on, nuisance.
Get him a uniform, Jimmy.
Yes, Mr. Stone.
And we'll lay a red plush carpet for him
from the dugout to the pitcher's box.
Oh, just a moment.
There's the question of terms.
-Terms?
-Yes.
Mister, I gotta hand it to you.
Thank you.
Now I want $1,000 a game for every game I win.
Otherwise, not a cent.
And when I win a game, I'm to be paid promptly.
Now I have heard everything.
Of course I realize there's
some rule about minimum salary,
but I'm sure we can fix that up in the contract.
Take him down there right away.
And don't let him pitch to any weak hitters.
Put the top of the batting order up.
I'm really going to enjoy this.
Hurry up, busher.
[Indistinct chatter]
Monk.
What is he, Monk, another Dizzy Dane?
He ain't got a prayer, Jimmy.
Just dizzy, huh?
I thought so.
-Well, don't waste anymore time.
-Okay.
He says, "Come on in."
[sigh]
Let me tell you, kiddo.
This baseball racket ain't so hotsy like you read about.
It's got its crummy side, too.
Dirty trains all the time.
Cheap hotels.
It'd be a change, though.
I'm looking forward to it.
Well, don't.
You might be in for a letdown, see?
Things don't always work out-
You wanna talk to him, Jimmy?
Yeah. . .
Hey, Jimmy!
What about our genius?
Can he throw as far as the plate?
This is your idea.
I'll show ya.
Get in there now and pitch.
If he gets hurt, it's Stone's fault, not mine.
I better catch for him, Jimmy.
Catch what?
They're gonna hit every pitch.
Remember-
put the top of the batting order up.
The top of the batting order!
Roll the cage in, White. I'll catch this guy.
Come on, kid. Let's show 'em whatcha got.
[Whoop]
Must've been an optical illusion.
Lemme see you throw that one again.
[Whoop]
What's this guy got, anyway?
I don't know. He didn't have nothin' before.
Now he's got a hop like Barnum's flea.
This is gettin' monotonous, boys.
Me and the kid is playing catch,
and you guys is fannin' the air.
Okay!
Monk, bring that guy over here.
Well, you sure taught him a lesson, alright.
No, he taught us a lesson, Jimmy.
That's what makes baseball
the greatest game in the world.
Everybody plays it all over the country.
You may find a new star anywhere.
In the swamps of Louisiana,
or the Rockies, or Brooklyn.
Or he may walk right into your office
the way this boy did.
Aw, we haven't got a star here yet.
Not by a long shot.
But the boy is a natural, Jimmy.
He don't look like a pitcher.
He don't throw like a pitcher.
But he strikes them out.
Yeah. He strikes them out in practice.
But the big question is,
can he stand up in big time competition?
Hey you, come here.
Say, what's your name, anyway?
Oh, I hadn't thought of it.
Oh, you hadn't.
Well try hard.
Well, it's Kelly.
Kelly, eh?
Well, that's the first
encouraging thing you've said.
Come on, kid. Let's take care of that flipper.
[Indistinct chatter]
Ball!
[Smack, cheer]
And it looks like Chicago is staging another rally.
They're whittling down St. Louis' lead.
But, Dolan's leaving Crosby in,
so let's see what's gonna happen.
Chew?
No thanks.
Crosby better tighten up.
He ain't got this game on ice yet.
[Smack, cheer]
Jimmy, put the new man in.
Yes.
Kelly.
Warm up.
Me?
Yeah, you.
Come on, kid. This may be it.
[Smack, cheer]
Start steepin' 'em in, baby.
I got a feelin' we ain't gonna have much time.
[Smack, cheer]
OK, Kelly. Get in there and pitch.
Oh, Mr. Dolan-
I'd like to get it straight about my contract.
If I win this game, it counts for me.
I expect to get paid.
I don't pay you. Go talk to Stone.
Now?
No, no. There's a ball game going on.
Get in there and pitch.
-You talk to him later.
-Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
What's this? Another Al Schacht?
We don't need no more comics
with you around, sweetheart.
Guy's name is Kelly.
Kelly, pitching for St. Louis.
Lannigan catching.
[On loudspeaker]
Kelly's now pitching for St. Louis.
Lannigan catching.
Why, he isn't even on the scorecard.
Well fans, there's a scared looking rookie
if I ever saw one.
I wonder where Dolan ever got the courage
to put him into a spot like this.
[Crowd booing]
That puts the tying run on second.
And O'Leary's up.
He's gotten 3 hits for 3 tries this afternoon.
Look, kid. Just take it easy.
Try and get 'em over.
I'm all alone back there,
and they don't let me use no stepladder.
Where'd you find that hooligan?
Jump-In Junior High?
First get a hit off, and then make with the jokes.
Ball!
Strike!
Ball!
Strike!
It's 3 and 2 on O'Leary.
A hit will tie up this ballgame.
Here's your chance to be a hero.
This one's gotta be good.
[Whoop]
Strike, you're out!
Wow!
What kind of a ball was that?
Now, tell me that joke about the high school kid.
Rookie hero.
Way to fire that, boy.
Just lucky, I guess.
We're a great team, kid, me an' you.
Nice goin'.
Thank you.
The kid's a gold mine, ain't he, Jimmy?
He's just what you was lookin' for.
I wasn't lookin' for a headache,
but that's what I got.
Headache?
A guy with a hop like that?
He's a screwball, Monk,
and they do anything.
You're going to have to
keep your eye on him night and day.
Good work, young fellow. Great, great.
I knew you had it all the time.
Glad to have you with us.
We'll have that contract for you
first thing in the morning.
Thank you, sir.
And if there's anything I can do,
be sure and let me know.
Oh, Mr. Stone-
There is one thing.
What?
Well-
Could I have a uniform that fits?
Sure, sure.
Dolan.
Dolan!
[Knocking at door]
Come in.
Hiya, Kelly!
Congratulations, kid.
Your troubles are over.
I'm movin' in with ya.
You're what?
I couldn't stand it,
thinking of you up here all alone
day after day.
Well, I don't mind, Monk.
Really, I don't.
Listen, Kelly-
I took a shine to ya.
It doesn't happen often,
but when it does, the sky's the limit.
I'm payin' for everything-
room, laundry, meals.
It ain't gonna cost you a cent.
Why, that's wonderful, Monk.
I'd be glad to share the room with you,
but I want to share the expenses, too.
Ah, baloney.
I mean it, Monk, really.
All right, I'll break down and tell ya.
I ain't one of those
big-hearted Charlies like you think.
It's sort of a deal between me and the club.
It's a what?
A deal. I move in with you,
they pay all the bills.
They sorta want me to keep my eye on ya.
They do? Why?
Dolan thinks you're somewhat of a
screwball or something.
Are you, Kelly?
Why, no, quite the opposite.
Everything I do is perfectly logical.
That's your girl? Wow, she is hot stuff.
[Wolf whistle]
Sweet lookin' kid, too. What's her name?
Oh, you wouldn't know her.
Oh, cagey, eh?
Well I'll just call her Madame X.
What's in the bottle?
Oh that? That's hair tonic.
It's a special prescription.
Seems to have done you good.
Oh, yes. Yes it has, indeed.
Analytical mechanics.
Atoms, stars, and neb. . .u
Nebulae.
Theoretical ballistics.
Jumpin' Jupiter. Do you read this stuff?
Well, you see, it's that hop I get on the ball-
It's caused by some unique phenomenon,
and I'm attempting to investigate it.
You mean you learn how to pitch
out of scientific books?
Well, no. Not exactly.
Jimmy was right.
Where are you from, kid?
Why all the mystery?
Well. . . well, it's her father.
If he ever finds out,
I'll lose my girl and my job and everything.
Finds out what?
What I'm doing.
I didn't think I could do it, but I am.
And what I'm doing isn't what
he thinks I'm doing at all.
Come again?
Well I'm getting the one thing
he wants me to have,
by doing the one thing
he's most against, you see.
Leave it go, Kelly. Quit trying.
The more you talk, the more mysterious it gets.
Well, maybe it's just as well.
[Phone rings]
Hello?
I'm trying to locate a party by the name of Lannigan.
For you, Monk.
It's Mabel, checking up.
[Sigh]
Yes, Mabel.
Yes, I'm here, just like I said.
[Woman talking]
Yes, I know, Mabel. There's lots of girls named Kelly,
only he happens to be with the club.
And St. Louis don't have
no lady pitchers this season.
[Woman talking, continues]
You never been married, have you Kelly?
No.
[Woman talking, continues]
Yes, Mabel.
Hey, if you're such a scientist,
you oughta read this article here.
Some professor says there's
gold on the planet Mars. Here-
[Woman talking, continues]
Oh, I'm glad I read this.
I'm gonna send a telegram.
A telegram? Tommorow's?
Oh, but I can't do that.
The guy is nuts.
But I gotta do something.
I've gotta think of some way to-
Now wait a minute, Kelly.
You listen to me.
You're gonna stay right here and pitch.
You ain't going after no gold on Mars.
Hey, Kelly!
Kelly!
[Woman talking, continues]
Yes, Mabel, I've been listening to every word.
[Woman talking, continues]
Debbie, dear, I wish you'd come with us.
The concert will do you good.
I'm not in the mood, Mother, really.
Well you can't spend the rest of your life
sitting home because of Vernon.
She won't go ten feet away from that telephone.
[Door buzzer]
Miss Deborah Greenleaf?
Oh, I'll take it!
I'm Miss Greenleaf.
Sign here, please.
Thank you.
Oh, Mother!
It's beautiful.
It's from Vernon.
Vernon?
But that's impossible.
Something wrong somewhere.
He couldn't have come by it honestly.
You've no right to say that.
You don't know anything about it.
I know he acted very strange the day he left.
He was vague and evasive.
There must have been a reason.
Vernon's always vague,
and I don't think he meant to be evasive, Alfred.
-And what does it say?
-Now that's none of our business.
Poor Vernon. He's really sweet.
He's so upset because he didn't
get to say goodbye to me.
What's he doing?
I know that you will have faith in me
and do what I ask without asking why I ask it.
That's Vernon. He even writes double talk.
I'm fine, and I haven't disappeared.
But he has!
Please call the police, and tell them
to stop their search at once.
I cannot overemphasize the urgency of this.
Why that in itself is suspicious.
My associates are rather rough and ready,
and their peculiar skill is a
constant source of astonishment.
Skill at what?
How should I know?
The work is strenuous and exciting,
but the financial rewards are quite fantastic.
Yes, they must be.
Well, isn't that rather unusual
for scientific demonstrations?
It's not unusual.
Whatever he's doing is not legitimate.
I don't know whether I have chosen wisely
in casting my lot with this particular group.
But whether I have or not,
the die is cast.
Oh dear. That does sound rather ominous, doesn't it?
Certainly does.
I'm sure there's some explanation.
Yes, the explanation's very simple.
He's mixed up with some kind of a racket.
Oh, Father, you've no right to assume that.
Well he certainly got his leave of absence
under false pretenses.
I can't forgive him for that.
Now, now wait, Alfred.
I'm sure he'll clear it all up very soon.
He says I won't hear from him for several months.
Well why not?
He says it'll be too risky.
Debbie, darling, I-
I've always liked Vernon,
but your father's perfectly right.
It all sounds very strange and frightening.
Of course it may not be a real diamond, only glass.
Father, of course it's real.
The box is from Mark's.
Well, I'm going into St. Louis tomorrow,
I'll take it in, and I'll-
-No you're not.
-Why not?
Because I don't care if it's glass or not.
I'm going to wear it.
[Crowd noise and bell ringing]
You just about made it.
What were we expected to do?
Get here early and polish the engine?
Tobacco?
No, thank you.
He's getting old. He can't steal anymore.
Yeah, and poor old Bush last week.
The bums knocked him all over the lot.
Yeah? I'm layin' for him. We'll kill him.
Come on, boys. Let's get on the train.
Hello, Debbie?
Debbie, I've just seen Vernon.
He was taking a train for Chicago.
He was with a lot of men.
Oh, they were very tough-looking, all of them.
They looked like, well, you know-
like gangsters.
Oh, Mother. Gangsters?
How do you know?
Know?
You should've heard what they said!
Oh, you must be wrong, Mother.
It may have looked like him,
but I know it couldn't be Vernon.
[Indistinct chatter]
You're out!
[Crowd cheers]
Kelly's bearing down.
Every pitch counts now.
Last half of the ninth. One out.
One more out is all Kelly needs
to reach the heights.
I won't tell you what those heights are.
That'll jinx him.
You know the ol' baseball superstition.
Nobody ever mentions what Kelly is trying to do.
But the score is one to nothing for St. Louis.
Slugging Sammy Lee is up.
The tension among the crowd is terrific.
They're going wild.
Here comes the pitch.
Strike one!
[Crowd cheers]
Strike one is called.
A few weeks ago, Kelly was unknown,
but tonight he's trying for every pitcher's dream.
But Lee means business.
A hit here could break up this ballgame.
He's not giving away any presents,
and neither is Kelly.
Strike two. This is it.
One more like that is all Kelly needs.
[Whoop]
You're out.
He's done it!
Kelly's done it!
He's pitched a no-hit, no-run game.
Come on, sweetheart. Let's celebrate.
Well, I'm kinda tired, Monk.
And my arm's pretty sore.
Ah, forget it, kid.
This is our big night.
Jimmy says we can have a glass of beer.
Alright.
Here he comes.
Hey, Kelly.
Howdy, Kelly!
Wait, whoa.
No, no, please.
Who does he think he is?
Wait, wait, wait.
Now don't get him wrong.
Kelly's a great guy.
He's just tired.
He was a G.I., see? He had it rough,
and them flash bulbs got him upset, that's all.
He'll talk to you. Wait.
Kelly-
You gotta talk to those guys.
Square yourself.
They can ruin ya.
Exactly, one recognizable
picture in the paper, and I'm-
Look, kid- I'll tell 'em no pictures, see?
But ya gotta talk to 'em.
All right.
Come on in, boys. Kelly's waitin'.
But no flash bulbs, see. No pictures.
Where did Dolan find you, Kelly?
What's your hometown, Kelly?
Where'd you pitch last year?
Gentlemen, gentlemen. Please, one at a time.
Is it true that you're an ex-G.I., Kelly?
Yeah, what about it?
Yes, yes. I was in the service.
As a matter of fact, it was there that I
developed my ability to pitch.
I was stationed on a small island
off in the corner of the Pacific,
and the Army supplied our outfit
with all recreational equipment,
mostly baseball gear.
As a matter of fact,
they sent enough for two full teams,
although there were only ten of us on the island,
and hardly enough flat ground
to put three shacks on.
So, out of sheer desperation and boredom,
I spent months pitching to another lad
on a narrow strip of beach.
And of course you know if you spend that much time
doing anything you're bound
to become quite skillful at it.
What about before the war?
Yeah.
Before the war.
Well, before the war, you see,
my life was extremely colorless and dull.
And as a matter of fact,
I'm really very tired tonight,
gentlemen, so, if you'll excuse me
I'll say goodnight-
Yeah, you boys got your story.
Come on, now. Let's go.
Great game, Kelly.
Hey, that sure was some yarn
you handed them, sweetheart.
I sure gotta give it to ya.
Thanks.
Strangely enough, it happens to be true.
Hey, Monk. You're wanted on telephone.
Long distance.
That's Mabel.
[Crackling noise]
[Crackling]
[Crackling]
How's the arm, kid?
Well, it's still pretty sore, Monk.
I told you not to walk around with
your arm bare like that after I rubbed it.
You gotta keep it warm.
I'm gonna shave!
You're gonna put a sweater on right now.
I don't own one.
Then you'll wear mine, see?
Here, put it on.
Go on. Get into it.
You know, you're pitching today,
you silly cluck.
Yes, I know.
If I don't suffocate first.
How you expect me to shave with a
turtleneck sweater, I don't know.
Hey, today's the second.
I forgot.
I've gotta go downtown.
-We'll stop on the way to the field.
-No.
This is something personal.
I'll see you down at the field.
Hey, wait a minute, Foo-man-choo.
[Phone rings]
Yes, Mabel.
Yes, Mabel.
Here's your receipt for the balance.
Did the lady like the ring?
Oh, I don't know. I hope so.
Would you care to look at some wedding rings?
No, thank you.
Not 'til the end of the season.
Debbie!
Vernon.
Look at you.
Well, I must apologize for my appearance.
What are you doing inside there?
-Well, if you must know, I-
-No, no. Don't tell me.
I know.
I read about Chicago, Vern.
You did?
You're not going to try the same thing here.
You can't right on Locust.
They've got guards and police.
Debbie, what are you talking about?
Oh, don't pretend you're so innocent.
After all, I'm not a child.
Hey, have you seen Kelly?
Kelly who?
Not Kelly Who.
King Kelly the pitcher.
[Crackling]
'Scuse me, boss.
I needs a drink.
You can't expect me to keep on worrying about you.
Not knowing where you are or what you're doing.
But there's no need to worry.
Look,
You asked me to trust you and believe in you.
Well that works both ways.
If you won't trust me enough
to tell me what this is all about,
I think we better call it quits right now.
Alright.
Alright, Debbie. I'll tell you.
I suppose I should have told you
in the first place.
I'm-
Well, if you must know
I'm a baseball player.
Oh, Vernon. Tell me the truth.
I told you the truth.
I'm a baseball player.
That's not very funny.
If you don't want to tell me, say so.
But I told you.
Read all about it-
Look.
That's me. Kelly.
Kelly pitches for today's game.
Get your lineup for today's game.
I'm Kelly, and I'm pitching this afternoon.
Oh, you are?
Well, I'm Mata Hari, and I'm going to sell
your secret to the highest bidder.
Well, Kelly.
Fancy meeting you here.
Are you a ball fan, Dr. Greenleaf?
I can't say I am.
It's the first game I've seen in years.
Well, just sit back and relax.
Enjoy yourself.
It'll do you good.
If you want him to enjoy himself,
let's get it settled about this endowment,
and then we can all relax.
Strike two!
I'm afraid this is going to be
an expensive afternoon.
Well, I certainly hope so, Mr. Stone.
That's three up and three down again for Kelly.
He's got that ol' hop ball
hoppin' in there today alright.
All he's gotta do is just keep goin' like this,
and he'll rack up another victory.
And he doesn't act like a ball player at all.
I'd like you to meet him.
Hey Kelly!
Kelly, come here.
He took off like a frightened rabbit, didn't he?
He's very shy.
Nice-looking boy, though.
I didn't get a very good look at him.
But you can't walk out in the middle of the game.
That's mutiny.
-I'm sorry, but-
-What is this, Kelly?
Suddenly you're a prima donna.
You been reading the newspapers?
No, it isn't that, Jimmy.
It's just that I can't
go out there again, that's all.
I'll slap the biggest, baddest fine on you in history.
Well, I'd rather you wouldn't do it, Jimmy.
But it won't make any difference if you do.
Brooker, warm up.
He won't get away with this.
I'll fine him, I'll suspend him, I'll-
You got him wrong, Jimmy.
He's kinda whacky, but
he ain't no prima donna.
I don't care what he is.
You get tough with him,
there's no tellin' what he'll do.
He might sit down and never pitch again,
and he's our only chance for the pennant.
Kelly is not indispensable.
I know he ain't,
but we can't get along without him.
Lemme go talk to him.
Lemme see what it's all about.
Go get 'em, fellas.
Come on now.
Brooker, now pitching for St. Louis.
Hey, Jimmy.
-Did you pull Kelly?
-No, he quit.
He picked up his toys and went home.
-Where is he?
-In the locker room.
I wanna see him right now.
You know this ain't good etiquette,, Kelly,
to walk off the mound in the middle of a game.
Especially an important one.
Pitchers ain't supposed to go home
until they're invited to.
It wasn't just a whim, Monk. I had to.
I saw someone in the stands.
You mean a copper or somethin'?
No, no. Someone I knew.
Someone who knew me
before I even joined the club.
You gotta take that chance, kid.
It was liable to happen any time.
I know, and when it does
I've gotta do exactly what I did today.
Now wait a minute.
Be reasonable. Kelly!
Hey Kelly!
Where's Kelly?
He's gone.
I'm standin' here talkin' to him and he's gone.
Gone! Gone where? What's the matter with him?
Well I'll tell you, boss.
He wanted the afternoon off
to go to his grandmother's funeral.
How do I know what's the matter with him?
Monk?
Where you been?
Here.
Why ain't you asleep?
I been with Stone and Dolan.
They had me on the carpet so long
I got fallen arches.
You take a walk, and I get bawled out.
They're gonna let you off this time, though.
You can thank your Uncle Monk for it.
I talked myself blue in the face.
If you ever do it again,
they're really gonna give it to ya good.
Say, ain't you even interested?
Ah, it doesn't matter.
I'm through anyway.
Through?
You mean you're gonna quit?
You ain't gonna pitch no more?
There's no point now.
No point?
In winning the pennant?
You can't quit now.
You gotta keep pitchin'.
Whatsa matter?
What happened, kid?
Was it that guy in the stands?
He didn't recognize ya.
Oh, it's only part of it.
I'm worried about my girl.
So it was Madame X you met.
I think she's gonna find out too.
Why? Why should she?
Because I told her.
You told her, but you think she's gonna find out.
She wouldn't believe me,
but she's bound to know,
and so is her father.
Her father?
If he ever learns the truth I'm really finished.
He'll never take me back.
And I can't say I blame him after what I said.
What'd ya say?
Oh, I was desperate.
I certainly gave him a false impression.
I didn't realize what I was doing,
I mean, how serious it was.
He thought I was doing something entirely different.
That's the only reason he let me go.
Let you go?
Where'd he have ya?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
It's all finished.
He's gonna find out, so there's no use going on.
You mean because the girl will find out?
She may not, Kelly.
You gotta wait and see.
Wait and see what?
Well, if she gets any idea you ain't ribbin' her,
what'll she do?
She'll come out for the first game, see it for herself.
It figures, doesn't it?
Yes, you're right, Monk.
That's just why I'm not gonna pitch.
Oh, why did I say that?
I'm makin' it worse and worse.
You gotta keep pitchin'.
You can't quit now.
You gotta think of us too, you know.
You gotta give us a break.
We got a chance to win a pennant in a World Series.
That means somethin' too.
Yeah.
Yeah, I suppose so.
Suppose so?
[Phone rings]
[Woman talking]
Mabel.
Now neither of us gets any sleep.
[Woman continues talking]
Forgive me for being nosey, Debbie,
but would you mind telling me what you're doing?
Oh!
Just reading the paper, Father.
Well, you're certainly doing a thorough job of it,
reading the sports page with a magnifying glass.
Oh, I was interested in a wild statement someone made.
You aren't becoming a sports fan, are you?
No, I don't think so.
There's just an outside chance. . .
Is that Kelly pitching?
Yeah.
Two out. Hank Moore at bat.
Come on! Fan him, Kelly!
Strike two.
[Cheering]
Come on, Monk, play ball.
What're you looking for, a process server?
I'm lookin' for a dame.
If she comes, I gotta talk to her first.
A dame? Ain't you gettin' pretty old for that?
[Whoop, crowd cheers]
Strike three!
You're out.
Yes!
I saw him. It's really Vernon.
I told ya, lady. He's Kelly.
So did he.
But I didn't believe him.
That's certainly a blow for Jimmy Dolan.
Lannigan is the only catcher
that's worked with Kelly all season.
If he's out of there, there's no telling
what may happen.
Can you fix him up, Doc?
Sure, he'll be alright.
Look, Monk, don't be foolish.
If it's too painful, don't-
Ah, didn't ya hear?
It don't hurt a bit, they just told me.
-Do you have to use those splints?
-What else?
I mean, do they have to be wood?
What do you want 'em made of?
Mother of pearl?
Monk, look, I don't think you better try to-
Ah, quit worrying, will ya?
This ain't the first clipped finger I ever had.
I know, but those splints.
Kelly, you worry about the pitchin'.
I'll worry about the catchin'.
[Smack, cheer]
You're out!
Monk, why not let somebody else catch?
What, and let you down, kid?
Come on.
Foul!
Jumpin' Jupiter, I'm seein' things.
-You see, Monk, I was afraid that-
-It ain't me finger, it's me eyes.
Foul!
Cock-eyed son of a sea cook.
Get outta there, Monk.
Ah, but Jimmy-
You can't even pick 'em up after you drop 'em.
It isn't his fault, Jimmy-
Don't worry, he'll get his purple heart later.
Go get that X-rayed, Monk.
Calahan catching.
Calahan catching for St. Louis.
[Crowd booing]
I'd like to see Mr. Kelly.
I'm a friend of his.
I'm sorry, lady. You won't be able to go up there.
All the boys'll be in the shower.
Oh. Well.
I'll wait.
'Night.
Hey, you're Madame X.
You're Kelly's girl, ain't ya?
Yes.
Wait, I want to see him.
Oh no you don't. Jumpin' Jupiter,
It's lucky I seen ya. Come on, sister.
-Why? What's the matter?
-Don't ask no questions, honey.
Just get outta here. Come on.
I feel like you and me's been livin' together
for a long time, honey.
I see you the first thing every morning,
and the last thing every night.
You do?
Yeah, Kelly's got your picture
right in the middle of the dresser.
I'm Lannigan- Kelly's catcher, roommate,
bodyguard, and everything else.
Also his pal.
I'm for the guy, see?
That's why I shanghaied ya.
I don't quite understand.
Well, if he knew you or
anybody else was watchin' him
he'd walk right out of the ballpark.
He done it the other day.
Oh. Well that must've been the day
dad was there.
He's liable to walk out altogether.
And if he blows it quits,
we're dead and so is he.
You don't wanna hurt the guy
just when he's right on top.
Or do ya?
Oh, no!
Of course not.
Well, then come to the games, see?
Bring your friends.
I'll even send ya passes
only don't let Kelly see.
I'll sit way up in the farthest corner.
You're not sore at the guy?
Oh, no.
But it is quite a shock
to fall in love with a college professor,
and have him turn out to be
a big league pitcher.
That's what he is, a professor.
Well, I'll be.
Are you surprised?
I certainly am, because that's
exactly what I thought he was.
You know it seems so fantastic.
I only came to the game today to make sure.
But after I got over the shock,
I found myself rooting for Vernon like mad.
I think it's wonderful.
Vernon, so that's what his name is?
Maybe I shouldn't have told you.
No, no, no.
Leave us have no secrets, you and me.
All right.
This Kelly or Vernon is quite a character,
but he can pick dames.
You know, young lady, I could fall in love
with you myself very easy.
[Crowd cheering]
That a boy, Kelly!
Isn't he wonderful?
Yes, lady.
One run and we have the pennant.
Only we're not gonna get it this inning.
Why not?
Because the tail end of the batting order is up.
Lannigan, and then Kelly.
Relax, kid.
I'm gonna win this one for ya.
Go, Monk!
Come on, you gotta do it!
Strike one!
[Crack, crowd cheering]
It's a homer!
Lannigan's hit a homer!
That's the game, folks.
And the pennant for St. Louis.
Debbie, where have you been?
St. Louis.
Again?
Deborah, you're not a child,
but all these mysterious trips,
I can't help but worry.
Mother, if you promise not to tell-
Yes?
Both managers are starting their ace pitchers
for the first game of the series.
Here are the batteries.
It's Keets and Topina for New York.
St. Louis-
Kelly and Lannigan.
It seems so incredible.
I can hardly believe it.
What do you think of it, Joe?
I think it's outrageous-
that he never pitched on the varsity.
Now right at the end of the fifth game here in New York,
and it's still anybody's series.
Talk about a neck and neck and a tight race,
how about this one?
The series is tied, two games all,
First of the ninth-
St. Louis has a two run lead.
Steiner's up.
Kelly stretches.
Steiner swings and misses.
Strike one!
Atta boy, Kelly!
Nice going, Professor.
Professor?
Sure, don't you know who Kelly is?
And Steiner goes down swinging.
That's the game, folks.
Kelly's done it again.
[Cheering]
Vernon's won again!
Who?
Vernon, Daddy.
Vernon is King Kelly.
What?
Monk, Monk, time to get up.
[Groan]
[Crackling]
[Crackling and groaning]
Hey, Monk.
Have you been using my hair tonic?
Hair tonic?
Oh yeah. I'm growin' a whole new crop
Ain't ya noticed?
Did you take the bottle out of my suitcase?
Oh yeah. I meant to tell ya.
I seen it in there last week.
I didn't think you'd mind.
It's my last bottle.
What did you do with it?
I give it to Jimmy.
He's gettin' a little thin on top, ya know.
Oh, I gotta go get it.
What for? You're wearing a cap.
[Door slams]
Jumpin' Jupiter. What a character.
[Crackling]
[Crackling]
[Crackling]
[Knocking at door]
Come in.
Oh, Jimmy, I'm sorry to bother you, but uh-
Oh, it's you, Kelly.
[Crackling]
[Crackling]
[Crackling]
Must be a lot of electricity in the air,
the way my hair's behavin'.
Well I-
I wanted to talk to you, Jimmy.
What's on your mind?
Well it's the hair tonic.
What?
The hair tonic.
Did Monk give you a bottle of my hair tonic?
Oh yeah. I just tried it.
I was losin' a few.
Monk said it'd grow hair on a billiard ball.
Kind of an insult.
Well, you see, it's a very rare solution,
and I can't duplicate it.
Ok, I'm willing to pay for it.
How much do you want?
Well, no, no. It isn't that.
It's my last bottle, and I need it.
You need it?
What for?
You gonna play for the House of David?
No, no- it's a little ideosyncrosy of mine.
It's sort of a superstition, and
especially today, you know?
Now I've heard of everything from
a rabbit's foot to an elk's tooth,
but hair tonic- that's a new one.
Please, Jimmy-
Have you got it?
Yeah, yeah.
Where did I put it?
Ah, here it is. On the top shelf.
[weakly] Oh-
[Crowd cheering]
First half of the eighth, fans.
St. Louis still trailing 6 to 5.
Something's happened to Kelly.
He's not himself today.
Maybe it's the strain.
After all, this game means the series.
He's been in trouble a couple of times,
but those St. Louis boys have come back strong.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
I can't understand it.
What's happened with Vernon?
It's another hit for Hopkins,
and Marconi scores.
It's New York 7, St. Louis 5
There's two out, but Kelly's in real trouble again.
Where's the old hop, kid?
I haven't got it anymore, Monk.
It's gone.
OK, kid. Steady down, steady down.
Let 'em hit a few.
There's seven men behind you.
They can handle it.
They're a great ball club.
Well, they better be.
And he's out.
That ends the inning,
and New York has a two run lead.
[Clapping]
[Crack, crowd cheers]
Quit worryin'. This ball game ain't over yet.
I wish it were.
Alright, kid. Alright, your hop ain't workin'.
You and I know it, but them batter's don't.
You gotta use psychology.
It's gonna take more than psychology.
No it ain't, kid.
You gotta keep bluffin' all the time.
See, you gotta go out there lookin' as cocky-
Atta boy, Louie.
You know, if I was intelligent,
I'd go to Jimmy and ask him to relieve me.
But I'm not gonna do it.
I hope he lets me stay.
-because I wanna go out there and see if I can-
-Atta boy, Kelly. Now you're talkin'.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
And Tony gets a beautiful double.
St. Louis is still in this old ballgame.
The tying run is on second.
We might not win, but I'm gonna go down trying.
And even if we do lose-
Will you quit talkin' about losin'.
We got two men on.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
[Crack, crowd cheers]
It's another two-bagger.
Richards scores and Bevins is coming in, too.
And St. Louis is ahead again.
Eight to seven.
Hey, what's eatin' you, Kelly?
I'm just rubbing your head for luck, Monk.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
And Davis is out at first.
That's two down for St. Louis.
And Stevens is up.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
Come on. Let's go.
Atta boy.
Kelly, I'm leavin' you in.
It's your game to win or lose.
All you gotta do is hope.
Good luck, kid.
-Jimmy-
-Yes, sir?
-You're leaving him in?
-Yeah.
Gonna gamble.
Jimmy's gonna leave him in.
He's gambling everything on King Kelly.
It's the first of the ninth,
and Kelly is facing the top
of the New York batting order.
You mean to say St. Louis is ahead again?
Yes, Mother.
Eight to seven.
Now if Vernon can only hold 'em.
[Whoop]
Strike one!
[Crowd cheers]
[Crack]
That's one man out.
If Kelly can get two more men,
the game is over.
But that's an awful big if right now.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
What a game, ladies and gentlemen.
What a game.
New York's got the tying run on first,
and Aaron is up.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
It's a beautiful catch.
What a game, ladies and gentlemen.
Kelly's is saved again, but he's
grimly hanging on to that one run lead.
There's two out now.
Man on second.
And blockbuster Marx comes to bat.
He's gotten three hits off Kelly this afternoon.
And this is your game right here, folks.
[Crack, crowd cheers]
He did it!
He caught it!
[Crowd cheers]
The series is over,
and Kelly's won his own game.
[Raucous yelling]
Boys, we're the World Champions!
Kelly, when you walked into my office that day
I called you a crackpot.
All's I can say is,
I wish I had a dozen crackpots like you.
Well, thank you, Jimmy. Thank you.
Hey, that hand looks bad.
How's it feel?
Well it's rather painful.
I thought so. Come on.
We'd better get that X-rayed.
If he says there's anything wrong
with Kelly's pitchin' hand,
I'm gonna crown 'im.
How is it, Doc?
I'm afraid it's serious.
Serious? It can't be.
Can't you do something?
Listen, Doc.
This kid's the greatest pitcher in baseball.
Just as I feared.
There's not only a fracture of the
first phalanx of the second finger,
but a linear fracture of the metacarpal bone,
extending into the joint.
What's all this mean, Doc?
Can't you say it in English?
It means he's through.
For good, huh?
Yes.
How's it feel, kid?
Oh, it's not too bad.
What about the X-rays?
Well, the Doc-
he made up with a lot of mumbo jumbo.
You know how those guys are.
What did he say?
Listen, Kelly. I wanna tell you something.
I've been playin' ball since Hector was a pup,
and what's it got me?
I mean, it don't matter how long you're up there,
it's what you do.
Oh, you've done alright, Monk.
I'm talking about you, Kelly.
You had a season, kid.
A season like nobody ever had before.
Well, I guess I was lucky, but-
Lucky?
You're the greatest pitcher in baseball, Kelly,
and don't let nobody ever tell you different.
I seen 'em all, and I know.
You could pitch for twenty years and never do no better.
You done it all, kid.
You know, you got nothin' to look forward to.
What's this all about?
So what's it matter if you pitch
for one year or for twenty?
None of us is indestructible.
We all gotta quit sometime.
What did the doctor say, Monk?
Well, that's what I'm tryin' to tell ya.
He says you're all washed up, kid.
He said you ain't gonna pitch no more.
He did?
Well, I never dreamt my career
would end this way.
You and me both, kid.
And I ain't never gonna forget it.
I'm gonna spend the rest of my life goin' around
braggin' that King Kelly was my roommate.
I'm gonna throw it in the pound.
Well, I guess this is goodbye, eh kid?
Oh, just for the time being, Monk.
I hope so.
I mean, we'll be hearin' from ya, Kelly,
what do you say?
Oh sure, of course.
What do you figure you're gonna do, kid?
Well, I dont' know. I-
I'd like to get my old job back,
but I don't think there's much chance of that.
There ain't, huh?
Not after the way I left
and what I've been doing since.
I suppose the best thing that I should do is
go back and make a clean breast of the whole thing.
And when I do-
Jumpin' Jupiter,
you ain't murdered nobody or nothin'.
All you done was play ball.
I know.
I only did it to get enough money to marry my girl.
But even so, I haven't much hope.
But they oughtta know that.
I don't get it.
It don't make no sense to me.
A lot of things don't make sense, Monk.
I was a chemistry teacher.
I can tell you that now.
And the sum of money I received
for teaching science
to the youth of this state for an entire year
was a little less than I got in a single afternoon
for tossing a five-ounce sphere past
a young man holding a wooden stick.
But that ain't right, Kelly.
If it weren't for the professors teachin' the kids,
everybody'd turn out to be dumb clucks.
-All aboard!
Like me.
You did alright.
I hope you keep on.
Thanks, kid.
Well, I guess I'd better be moving.
Yeah, guess you better.
How's the hand, kid?
Oh, it's fine, just fine. I-
You know, I never had very many friends, Monk, and
you've been a real one.
You've done a lot for me, and I
and I just wanted to say that-
I just don't know how to say what I want to say.
Neither do I.
Leave us not try.
Right, uh-
I'll get in touch with you
as soon as I get things straightened out.
Yeah, do that, Kelly.
I'm gonna miss you, kid.
I hate to see you goin'.
Me too.
Well, go on.
Get in the train, Kelly.
Well, so long.
Say hello to Mabel.
Yeah.
[Train whistle blows]
Mister-
This is your stop.
-What?
-This is where you get off. We're coming in now.
Oh, oh thank you.
Come on!
[Cheering and band music playing]
Darling!
Vern, oh, you're wonderful!
I'm so proud of you.
You mean you know?
Everybody knows?
Oh, of course!
And we've all been rooting for you like mad.
Vernon that catch was, oh-
Oh, your hand.
Does it hurt very much?
Oh, no, Debbie, no.
Oh, it's terrible.
Monk said you'd never pitch again.
-Monk?
-Yes, he called.
Oh, we're pals, Vernon.
He even got us tickets for the game.
Well, what about your father?
I suppose he knows too.
Yes, Vernon. I know all about it too.
We all know, Vernon. We all know.
Oh, Dr. Greenleaf. I wanted to talk to you,
to explain, I mean, about my old job.
Do you think there's any chance-
I'm afraid not, Vernon.
That's what I thought.
See, Mr. Stone has given us the money
for the research labratory.
You're the only man he'll let us put in as director.
Atta boy, Mr. Kelly.
You were terrific.
Yes sir, professor. You sure put that
methyl, ethyl, propyl, and butyl on that ball.
[Cheering]
Happy Birthday, Dad!
From Heather, Andrew,
Archer, Steele, Justice, and Sage