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It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown (1984)
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(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) Go back! Stay, stay! Don't follow me to school. Stay! Stay! Some kids have dogs that follow them to school. (YAWN S) (SNORING) (FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) I think it's a head, ma'am. Shall I throw it in the wastebasket? Maybe you'd like to see it up close. I can take it up to your desk, ma'am. It's pretty heavy. It feels like it's full of lead. There you are, ma'am. Now you can get a close look at it. (FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) You missed it, sir. We've been studying the human head. Somehow, I feel I should get you for something, Marcie. But I don't know what. Put away that history book, Marcie. Art is next. I love art class. How's this, ma'am? 24 cows standing in a pasture. Each one rendered in exquisite detail. Maybe I'll add some sheep and rabbits and squirrels. Ah. A gorgeous pastoral setting. Now I'll color the sky blue and the grass green and I'll put in some yellow flowers. Wow. What a picture. What an artistic triumph. Marcie, you haven't drawn a thing. Some of us are just patrons of the arts, sir. What did you put down for the fourth question? Six times 12 is 72. 72? I put down "green." "Green"? Why did you put down "green"? I thought it was a trick question. Marcie, this is hard work. Boy, I sure could use a (YAWNS) little break right now. (SNORING) (SCREAMS) (FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) PATTY: Sorry, ma'am. My nose is caught in my binder. I'm trying not to scream. It's very painful. May I have permission to see the school nurse? Or maybe the custodian? We may need a pair of pliers. Sorry, ma'am. I'm having trouble seeing where I'm going. (YELLS) Ouch. (WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) My report? I'm sorry, ma'am. It's in my binder, and my binder is caught in my hair. I've tried whipping it backward and forward... (BOTH YELL) But nothing seems to help. Anyway, my report was called, "Does Education Have to Be Painful?" I think maybe it does. (WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) No, ma'am, I really can't take it off because-- Yipe! Because my hair is still caught in the binder. Yipe! She got it off. Marcie got it off. Phew. What a relief. (WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) My report? It's right here in my binder. Don't sigh like that, ma'am. It breaks my heart. Gym is my favorite class. I'm so dumb, I wish all classes were gym. I sure look forward to gym. You know, Chuck, I may not be as cute as that little red-haired girl, and I may not have naturally curly hair like Frieda and I may not be as smart as Lucy, but I've got one thing none of them has, I'm in shape. PATTY (SINGING): I run five miles every morning I do 100 pushups every day I pedal every night Take a swim, take a hike I'm in shape, I'm in shape, I'm in shape CHORUS (SINGING): She's practicing Peppermint Patty's P. E. Program She's in shape, she's in shape She's in shape When other kids are fading At the finish When all the others fail To break the tape I saunter round the track And wave to Daddy I'm in shape, I'm in shape I'm in shape CHORUS: She's practicing Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program She's in shape, she's in shape She's in shape Hey, Linus, get in shape Pretty soon it'll be too late Hey, Linus Hey, Linus Hey, Chuck, you know how Get in shape and do it now - Hey, Chuck - Hey, Chuck - Hey, Chuck - Hey, Chuck Everybody get fit Stop thinking about it, this is it Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Sally Everybody work (ALL GROAN) So if you wanna follow my example You're gonna have to work There's no escape You gotta get with Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program Get in shape, get in shape Get in shape CHORUS: She's practicing Peppermint Patty's P.E. Program - She's in shape - I'm in shape - She's in shape - I'm in shape - I'm in shape - She's in shape - I'm in shape - She's in shape - I'm in shape - In shape, in shape (PANTING) Okay, Chuck, lift those legs. Lift them higher. Oh, good grief. Are you ready for the party tonight, Sally? I remember the last time we went to a party. Linus called up and asked me if I would like to go to a party. And I said, yes. And then, when we got there Linus asked me if I would like to dance. And I said, yes. Then after we danced, Linus said, "Would you like a glass of punch?" And I said, "Yes, that would be very nice. "I would like to have a glass of punch." I don't believe that ever happened. Well, it should have! Okay, gang, we're gonna play Simon Says. I'll start it. Simon says, "Raise your arms." Simon says, "Turn around." Simon says, "Clap your hands." - Simon says-- - Okay, it's my turn now. CHORUS (SINGING): Lucy's the boss Lucy's the boss So you got to listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy Lucy's the boss Lucy's the boss So you got to listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy And here's what Lucy says (SINGING) Lucy says, "Put your hands on your head" Listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy Lucy says, "Now, turn around" Listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy Put your hands by your side I didn't say, "Lucy says" Lucy's the boss So listen to Lucy And here's what Lucy says Lucy says, "Take your hands off your head" Listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy Lucy says, "Put them on your hips now" Listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy Now jump up and down I didn't say, "Lucy says" Lucy's the boss So listen to Lucy And here's what Lucy says Lucy says, "I wanna be the queen of the world" Yes, I do Lucy says, "I want everything my way" Hey, hey, hey Lucy says, "I'm gonna be a beautiful girl" Yes, I am Lucy says, "I'm gonna marry Schroeder someday" Oh, good grief. Lucy says, "Pick up your right foot" Listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy Lucy says, "Now, hop on your left foot" Listen to Lucy Listen to Lucy Now start running in place I didn't say, "Lucy says" Lucy's the boss So listen to Lucy And that's what Lucy says What are you doing, Sally? I'm waiting for my sweet baboo. I am not your sweet baboo! I'm waiting here because my sweet baboo asked me to have the next dance with him. I did not! Well, you should have! Oh, brother. I'll have a cup, please. I'm glad to see you're not only having a good time but you're also helping out with the party. Ah! I'll have a cup of punch, please. You know, Charlie Brown, you have to do something about your face. It's impossible to talk to someone when they're making such sour faces. (SINGING) Okay, everybody gather round It's time for the Pigpen hoedown Kick up your heels, jump up and down Shut your eyes and whirl around Reach out your hand And if no one's there Grab your own hand Dance round in a square CHORUS: When you're doing The Pigpen hoedown Gotta have a caller you can trust 'Cause when Pigpen Does the hoedown He really kicks up some dust Hey, Chuck, we're all bumping into each other. Let me give it a try. (SINGING) Bow to your left, Bow to your right And if you find no one in sight Just bow to your toes And bow to your knees And dance around Just as you please CHORUS: When you're doing The Pigpen hoedown Gotta have a caller you can trust 'Cause when Pigpen Does the hoedown He really kicks up some dust (COUGHING) BOY 1: I can hardly see. BOY 2: It's getting worse. Hey, Patty, we're still bumping into each other. Let me be the caller. We don't need a caller, Lucy. We need a vacuum cleaner. (SINGING) If we really wanna dance And we stay here, we got no chance So nod to the ceiling Bow to the floor Leave Pigpen here And head for the door CHORUS: When you're doing The Pigpen hoedown Gotta have a caller you can trust 'Cause when Pigpen Does the hoedown He really kicks up some dust (CHILDREN COUGHING) Do you realize what you're becoming? I don't know what you're becoming but I do know what you're not becoming. You don't do any of the things that a dog is supposed to do. You don't bark at strangers. You don't bring in the morning paper. You don't even bring me my slippers at night. In the old days, dogs used to round up sheep and guard them in case wolves attacked. I never see you rounding up sheep. I'll bet you don't even know what one looks like. You don't try to follow me to school and you don't meet me when I come home. There's nothing worse than owning a dog who isn't a dog. (LAUGHS) Who's in the bathroom? Open up. (YELLS) (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) Flashbeagle? I can't stand it. I need something for show-and-tell. I picked you because you're a first-round draft pick. (YELPS) Yes, sir, you're going to get me an A for show-and-tell. A real live dog. (WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) For show-and-tell, I brought my pet chameleon. His name is George. And George changes colors with every shirt I wear. George eats flies and bugs. Thank you. (FEMALE TEACHER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Yes, ma'am. Heel, Snoopy. For show-and-tell today, I have brought a dog. BOY: What's so great about that? He doesn't do anything. He just stands there. He looks like he's asleep. SALLY: A dog is not only man's best friend, but he's also a protector, a defender, a ferocious friend in need. Indeed. (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO) I don't know what to do about Snoopy. I should give him a good lecture, the way he carries on. You just leave him alone. That's the first time I ever got an A in show-and-tell. English SDH |
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