If you don't know who your mother is,
you can't miss her.
I've never wondered
what my mother looks like
We just didn't have a mother.
Besides, I don't have time
for a mother.
I don't even have time for a husband.
My sister Daan does.
She's married to Joost.
God knows why.
Daan always did miss a mother.
And now she wishes
she was one herself.
But for some reason
this isn't working out with Joost.
Our fathers actually had the right idea.
They've been together for 35 years
and are still in love.
They met in the Seventies.
Two gay guys with a desire
to have children.
An American hippie became
our surrogate mother.
She gave birth to us...
...went back to America...
...and we never heard from her again.
I've always felt
responsible for Daantje.
I'm her older sister, after all.
OK, by ten minutes, but still.
So we grew up with little mom...
...but lots of dad.
Can I have a bit of your sausage'?
But to say they were adventurous...
Robert, Otuzia's doing the interview.
- Good.
And could you maybe...
...have a look at this.
Let's hope your new direction doubles
the circulation and the board agrees.
Or we'll have someone else do it
I've never even wondered
if I look like my mother.
Maybe I got my ambitious side from her.
Or maybe she's much more like Dean'?
Is she as insanely chaotic as Dean'?
Maybe I just didn't want to picture her.
Because the good thing
about an absent mother...
...is that she can be anyone.
Until that one phone call.
Hello, Sofie speaking.
Jackie?
In a hospital?
Yes, and she can't stay there, so...
Who's Jackie?
Our mother.
- Well, our womb
She has a complex leg fracture and has
to go to a rehabilitation center.
But she has no relatives,
so we have to go there.
We'?
Aren't you curious'?
- No.
Daan, we have that appointment
next week.
Which appointment'?
- Nothing.
What kind of appointment'?
Oh, so IVF after all'?
- Mars...
Hold on. "lVF after all?"
I don't know anything.
- When was I supposed to tell you'?
Excuse me, do we ever
talk to each other?
- That's not just my fault.
So you...
- Girls, please.
If we cancel
we'll end up on a waiting list again.
We can easily go back and forth
in a week.
Why wouldn't you want to go there'?
- I'm way too busy.
A sign of life from your mother
after 30 years and you're too busy.
Mother'? She's just an egg donor.
That's true, isn't it'?
We were in her belly together
for nine months, you know.
I think that's...
- Sorry, but I'm not like you.
I haven't been dreaming and fantasizing
about that woman all my life. Sorry.
I'll go by myself then.
- Sure, Daan.
Come on...
Yes'?
What are you afraid of'?
Right.
Sofie speaking.
- Where are you?
Hey, Robert.
- Rosa's looking for you.
I'm not at the office. I want to work
without being interrupted all the time.
What do you mean?
- At home.
Fine, but I need to know
how the work's proceeding.
I'll keep you posted.
- Good girl. Bye.
Bye.
- "Just at home"?
I really have to work hard this week,
so not a lot of lame chit-chatting.
Course not. Imagine, having some fun.
- Daantje...
That might not be her.
You think there's someone else in this
hell-hole with her leg in a cast'?
Look
She kept that on her
for all those years.
What am I supposed to call her'?
New Mexico is supposed to be great.
- I don't give a shit.
Can't you just work on our way there'?
- So you're going to drive'?
Dean, she doesn't want to.
She doesn't want us.
Who cares about that cripple'?
I'm done.
Am I talking to the walls, or what?
She's just taking us for a ride.
I've lost her again.
I just don't get this.
I can't deal with this.
Sorry, I need to go outside.
Just take the rice.
It has nothing in it.
- Rice?
Rice is a carbohydrate horror show.
- Excuse me.
You're smiling sweetly,
but you understand fuck-all, right'?
It's weird that she's over there
and we're here.
Pardon'?
She wants soy sauce.
I think she's mentally retarded.
- Give me a break!
She's just hungry.
Maybe she lives here because she's
wanted for child abduction or murder.
I wouldn't be surprised.
- How do you come up with that'?
It says more about you than about her.
- Sure, put it over there.
She's got the runs already.
She's just traumatized.
- That woman is a complete nutcase.
Anger always hides a kind of sadness,
doesn't it'?
Maybe Marcel was the love of her life.
I don't know.
Or she wasn't able to have other kids.
That's just sad, isn't it'?
See something'?
- No.
What's wrong'?
- Nothing.
It's the only thing she's got.
Don't you get that?
Want me to drive 500 miles
in that rust bucket'?
No way!
Give me a minute, I'll deal with her.
And'?
- Huh'?
We'll take the RV.
Really?
Come. Keep it coming.
Stop!
Damn it!
- Jesus, Sofie.
Jesus, you nearly crushed me.
- Then stand where I can see you.
Hold on.
Hello!
Wait a sec. Jesus!
Got a good look'? Inbred face.
- Wait.
That door is still open!
Couldn't you have waited for a second'?
Yes, Rosa.
I just told you.
I get that, but I'm the chief editor
so just send it, OK'?
Joost never lets me do this
because of the airbag.
He says that if it explodes
you'll break all the bones in your legs.
What are you looking for'?
- Some info about her.
So does it work'? Avoiding carbs?
It does. It gives me a lot of energy.
Really?
- Yes, can't you tell'?
What are you writing'?
About raising children.
- Really? With tips and all that stuff'?
You don't have to show an interest,
you know.
I'm just asking you about your job.
- I don't feel like talking about it.
Sorry. I just thought: You live
for your job, so I'll ask about it.
Hows your love life'?
Still a happy single'?
Yes, a happy single...
And sex'?
- Sex, yes. I do that sometimes.
I still know how to do it.
Jesus, I'm not a nun.
What about you and Joost?
- Very good.
His Ministry will be opened next week.
His first big...
I'm talking about your
sex life, airhead.
- Oh, sorry.
Yes, awesome.
You have an awesome sex life'?
- I don't want to talk about it.
I read something about sex:
There are 12 reasons for having sex.
Know what else'?
Save the semen...
...put it on your face like a mask
and sleep with it all night.
It helps the blood flow.
- I've heard enough, thank you.
Careful. Be careful, please.
Fuck!
- Try to turn it.
No, we're not. I can see that too.
- Relax, Soof.
I'm not relaxed. I'm fucking hot
and that woman works on my nerves.
Who was that?
- The rehabilitation center.
She'll lose her spot
if we're not on time.
- So'?
So we'll be there on time.
What the hell is she doing'?
She's making a fire. It's 40 degrees.
What the fuck!
It gets very cold here
at night, you know.
It's 8 miles, so a two-hour walk tops.
- Are you sure'?
It's too far away
and it's too hot as well.
Soof, be careful, OK'?
Take some water along, at least.
Rosa, listen.
If you're going to restyle a magazine,
you have to be consistent. Get it'?
I mean, I e-mailed you three times
about that this week.
Yes, I did.
No, I want ten pages of pictures.
I don't want...
I'm sure, but it's too soft.
It has to be much more shocking.
It has to be...
Sofie?
- Hello'?
I thought I'd try this,
because I only get your voice-mail.
But I'm not...
- I know you're very busy, but...
I'm...
stuck with a rather hard issue.
Yes, but I'm on a conference call
with Sofie.
Oh Sofie, hi, it's
good to speak to you.
Hold on. Let me. Sofie?
Turn on your camera.
Makes communicating a lot more pleasant.
Hold on a sec.
- I'll wait.
I'm here.
- Jesus Christ, you look terrible.
Oh, right, I had...
What's it called'?
A leak, so...
- Right.
And the plumber
serviced you as well.
Seriously, though:
I talked to a few board members.
And I think it might be better
to drop that new direction.
No, but...
If I can do the interview,
I can write the article.
Then you'll know exactly what I mean.
But if Rosa can't track down the number,
I can't...
Hello Sofie, I've been trying
to reach you all the lime.
They agree, you see,
but it has to be done today.
Recharger!
What'? Hold on. Today'?
Yes, in a conference call.
Not on the phone.
That's fine. No problem.
Give me 30 minutes and then...
Not working anymore'?
- No, it's not.
Damn it. Now I can't work.
You know, I was thinking,
just wait until tomorrow...
...and explain...
- Please...
...you know nothing about that world.
So never mind.
Sorry. I just thought...
- You'd better not.
Jesus.
You're such a moper.
I might lose my job.
Don't you get that'?
What's wrong'?
What did you do'?
- A snake.
Easy.
Easy.
Just lie down.
Damn it, what is it here'? 112'?
No, 0611.
OK, I'm driving.
OK, I'm driving.
Sweetheart, we're going
for a quick drink.
If you need be, I'll just be next door.
OK'?
Hi, Robert.
- Jesus Christ, there you are.
Where were you?
We've been trying to get a hold of you.
The board meeting has been
put forward. Be here in an hour.
Why couldn't we reach
you yesterday?
Good thing Rosa did your interview.
She kicked ass, by the way.
If you're not here in an hour,
I'll let her handle the meeting too.
Well, do what you have to, Robert,
because I'm in New Mexico.
I've been bitten by a
snake, while you...
- Wait...
New Mexico?
America?
Jesus Christ, did I miss something?
What are you doing in America?
I mean... You live for the Crush.
Know what? I don'! care.
You 're easily replaced.
I'm easily replaced'?
You'll force your hard issue
on my replacement too'?
What the hell?
Are Rosa's interviews
as good as her blowjobs?
Who do you think you are?
Know what?
Just stay in New Mexico.
Splitting headache.
Is he gone'?
- Hey, you're awake.
Good. How do you feel'?
- I've got a splitting headache.
My foot's all right.
Do this. It's freezing.
You won't believe it, but it's snowing.
Here's a coat. Mittens.
What are you doing'?
- How do you think we got here'?
It was her idea.
Dean, you're not doing this.
You don't have a license.
What the heck is this?
"Rosa's interviews are as good
as her blowjobs, actually."
"PS: You can forget about Crush.
Have fun in New Mexico."
Jesus, Daan.
Fuck!
Hi Robert, it's Sofie.
- The Sofie who left for America?
I'm very, very sorry.
- You're not sorry at all.
Rosa's going to handle the meeting.
- What'?
Crush no longer needs you. Right?
Cheerio!
- Robert?
Hello'?
God damn it, Daan!
- Sorry.
Let go off me!
Rosa did the interview
and the board meeting!
Rosa does a lot of stupid things.
You have no idea.
Don't let that sexist moron order you...
- You should talk!
What do you mean'?
- Don't be so two-faced.
You're conning Joost.
- What does he have to do with this?
You let yourself be dragged to an IVF
clinic while you're on the pill!
My job is none of your business.
Come on!
Why are you lying to Joost?
If you don't want kids with him,
just tell him!
Just like you told Robert
you'd work at home'?
Jesus, Daantje!
- Shut it with "Daantje".
My name is Dean,
not Daantje, damn it.
I'm just as old as you are
and just as smart.
Please, honestly...
Why do you always make me feel
I'm stupid?
I don't!
- You do!
I don't! You do that yourself.
Just think about that.
That's what I mean.
Always the same bullshit.
Always the same fucking last word.
Always.
- Bullshit.
You can open your mouth too,
but you don't dare.
You always want to be the sweet child
Play mommy and daughter with Jackie
Awesome! Come and have a look.
Look!
This is great!
Sofie!
This is awesome! Come on.
Look!
Isn't it awesome'?
Wait, I'm going to get dressed.
- Hurry.
What did you do'?
- Nothing. She suddenly started to cry.
I think we have to make sure
that it keels like this.
Hey, Sofie.
- Hello. Look at this.
Hey, Daan.
- Hi, sweetheart.
Daan, what are you doing?
- I'm driving.
I can see that. Pullover.
This is extremely dangerous.
I could have died ten times already.
I've driven lots of miles, you know.
Daan grow up, damn it. This is not good.
Pull over right now.
May I interrupt you, Joost?
My sister is actually driving
as if she's done it all her life.
Sofie, was this your idea?
- No, our womb's.
If there's a problem, maybe...
We are...
Can't be reached.
You were very good.
What you said to Joost was sweet.
- It's just the truth.
About the pill, right'?
You don't have to justify yourself to me
- I know that, but I...
I'd be the first to understand
you don't want kids.
But I don't understand why you lie
to Joost about it.
Neither do I.
I've been taking it for a year.
- A year?
You know what it is: Every time I want
to talk to Joost about it...
...he comes up with all sorts of
arguments and reasons.
At some point I think:
Fine, you're right.
And then I just do what he says.
If you don't want kids, you don't.
End of story.
But I do want kids.
Just not with him.
Please, no. Please!
What's happening'?
What's wrong with her'?
Is she smoking a joint?
What's that'?
I've seen one before.
What'?
- Right before we left.
Why didn't you tell me'?
- I thought you'd refuse to come.
Betaseron is used with MS.
Abilities are lost, dizziness,
severe pain, bladder problems...
...memory disorder, exhaustion.
Cannabis may offer temporary relief.
Jesus!
How awful.
Maybe she has...
Does she mean she wants to die'?
What kind of bullshit is that'?
Why are you looking at me
like that, bitch!
Dean, please.
Damn it! I...
Jesus Joost, now what?
What do you want'?
Robert.
Still, yes.
I don't know. It depends...
I thought you'd let Rosa
handle everything.
OK, so her blowjobs are better
than her writing.
Yes, I'm sure you have a huge problem.
Your restyling idea
hits bull's eye.
They're completely convinced
of your new direction with Crush.
Sofie?
Really?
- Yes, but only with you in charge.
That's great.
- Yes, it is.
If you could be here
by the end of the week...
End of the week.
You know, Robert,
I'll still be here for the time being.
You have to come back
and get to work.
Have to'? I don't have to do anything.
Especially not with you.
I'll make you a deal. A lot has happened
How about a business class ticket?
Bye, Robert. Cheerio!
- Hang on...
I think not speaking is a family trait.
Don't worry, honey,
it doesn't matter. Look.
I'm going to film it for the dads.
Do something.
- We have to get up.
You're the eldest.
- By ten minutes.
Weird.
It doesn't even have an airbag.
What are you doing'?
- Checking the oil.
Chin chin.
If you've heard it already, tell me.
It's very lame.
Why do rabbits only need to brush
two teeth'?
Don't know.
- Because they... no.
I gave away the punchline!
I gave away the punchline.
Why do rabbits go to bed so early'?
- Don't know.
Because they only need to brush
two teeth.
Jesus.
Yeah...
Hold on.
It's Joost. Wanna bet'?
Hey Daan, has your mother already
reached her destination, or...?
Actually, yes. Want to see it'?
- Yes, OK.
What am I looking at?
Jesus, what's...?
Come to the phone, so we can talk.
Daan!