FUCK I Hey, that tickles.
- I'm doing it on purpose.
I want to see
if it makes you horny.
There's a big difference
between horny and tickling.
Quite often guys
get really excited.
Last time some guy
really went for it.
But he got scared when
I grabbed him by his dick.
Not surprising.
- I was disappointed.
My gran used to say -
a lost dick never comes back.
And neither do the blokes.
- That's right.
Eh, don't you ever think
about anything else?
Rarely. Sometimes, during sex,
I try to think of football,
so I don't come too quick.
But it doesn't really help,
because footballers
turn me on, too.
Hey, what about you?
I already told you,
You're too cheeky for me.
I could only spank you.
Oh yeah, you naughty boy.
Think about something else. Or I'll
have to go to your competition.
Oh, yeah, so some queer gets
you with his razor. Sorry.
That's OK.
Oh, my little, tongue.
Always going up and down.
You should cut it off, but
then how would I...
Sorry, I must think
about something else
or I'll lose
a regular customer.
Ah, you know what I always
forget to ask you?
Where did you get
all these sexy scars?
I mean, these cute scars?
Which one are you most
interested in? -This one.
Oh, a boat fell on my head.
- How? Did it turn around or?
It was hanging up and then
a little girl came along,
she pressed a lever and...
- Hang on, I don't follow.
The boat was hanging up, and,
I'm not that smart really.
I know. Give me some paper
and I'll draw it for you.
Yeah, great.
I dig pictures.
This is the sea, this is me,
this is the house and this
is the boat, which is hanging up.
This is the girl who's interested
in this handle thing here,
she touches it, the boat falls,
the boy falls, his head cracks.
Draw your face,
the way you looked afterwards.
Baza, babe, how was it?
- Oh well...
Where were you? -Portoroz.
- Still better than the Canaries.
At least you can walk back home,
if you've had enough.
Where's Dejan?
- Working.
Oh yeah, this is my friend Baza.
This is Misko.
Hi.
- Isn't he cute?
Did he bring the picture
to show what style he wants?
Frida.
- When can you start?
Now, right away.
- What are you looking at?
As though a boat just fell
on your head. Fancy Baza?
Look at her tits, mine are
so tiny, it's not fair.
But they can still
make you horny.
D'you think this mirror
deforms me?
You always look gross
when you've got a hangover.
Watch out for the girl,
or you'll get another scar.
Look, again.
Hey, mate, got any dosh?
Hey, mate, got any dosh?
One more time: hey, mate,
got any dope?
No, we haven't. We lead
a healthy lifestyle. Hi, Doza.
Hi, Quiet.
Are we in good health?
Oh, Luka
you had to piss again.
He who drinks, pisses.
Gimme a can of Union.
Got any money? -Put on my tab:
money is on the way.
Oh, fresh shave, summer style.
So, who cut it? -Frida.
Last time I went there and
I had a constant hard-on.
Yeah, and then she grabbed you
by... Let's not say what
and you got scared.
- Hey listen, I wasn't scared.
You were scared. -I wasn't scared.
- 'Course you were scared.
I wasn't. It's gonna be her turn
next time, yeah, no worries there.
We know guys like that.
Gimme that beer.
Work calls, I'll have to work.
- Yeah.
I need you to do me a favour.
- Another one?
You owe me tons of favours,
not to mentioned unpaid jobs.
OK, OK. Look, I've got
a friend who's got a son.
The kid wants to write for
my paper. I think he's talented.
Only now in summer there's
not enough work for him.
So take him round a little,
show him some stuff.
Do you have a fridge here?
This beer is warm. That's not
good service, my friend.
Show him the business,
help him out, take a photo for him.
Hello? -You mad, or what?
That lot are the worst.
There's no way
I'm taking care of some kid.
Who wants to get on the front
page with his first story.
Do you want nobody
to commission pictures from you?
Don't blackmail me. -Do you want me
to pay you what I owe you?
Go and fuck yourself.
Hi, I'm the one.
- The one who?
That journalist on the phone.
When can we start?
I've got lots of ideas,
good ones.
Journalist, were you
waiting in ambush?
I haven't agreed anything with
your boss so you're on your own.
Hey, Misko, would you say
this is a cold beer?
It's OK. Leave it.
He said that in the end
I have to mention your cash.
It may come soon,
or it may not.
You've said that nicely, mister.
What do you want from me?
When are you
going on holiday?
First of September, as usual.
- Great, we've got enough time.
Well, I want a killer headline,
something juicy.
We need some politician
to get caught with some slag,
or an interview with
a Montenegrin gangster.
How about starting off
by interviewing
a popular accordion player,
Miss Slovenia.
Hey, do an interview with me.
I'm a hard case.
What are you doing?
- All kinds of stuff.
Business. I start projects.
Big ones.
You will all have your turn.
- Don't you ever mention me.
Look, a series of articles -
politicians on vacation,
where they are and stuff.
We'll find someone, on the beach
those sunbathing pics,
bare arses and all that.
Sunburnt.
You got a car?
- No.
You got money
for travel expenses?
The boss never mentioned
any money, except your fees.
You got at least a pencil
and some paper?
I never write much in the field.
Got an amazing memory, see?
Buy a dictaphone, grow a bit
of beard, I'm not gonna
take around some kid.
You look like a scouts' journalist.
Bye, see you tomorrow. -OK.
Hey, Frida's got an incredibly
cute new hairdresser.
I know, small, big tits,
Dejan's girlfriend.
Who's Dejan?
- A bloke. Loads of money.
His dad handles
his business. Tightwad.
Will you show him to me?
- Mhm, as soon as he's here.
He comes round sometimes.
We really got wasted last night.
- And we'll do it again.
What d'you want?
- Cold beer. What's up?
The boss went on holiday
and said no credit.
Eveybody's giving me a hard time.
- What eveybody? I can't see no one.
We had a fight out the back.
Nobody gets nothing,
no credit, and that's final
no exceptions, the boss said.
Oh yeah, this guy's been
looking for you all day.
Look, dicky, dicky, dictaphone.
We can start.
You know how much it costs?
Good thing I've got a dad.
Put it on credit. -I'm telling
you, no more credit.
You told me too late.
Alas, I'm broke.
Yeah. -Hi. Did you arrange it
with the kid?
First have a word with
the waiter about the money.
He just cut off my credit.
Why don't you pay him, man,
if he did what he had to do?
Fucking boss arseholes.
- Thanks. -Don't mention it.
Did you hear that?
You have to pay. What is it?
Go and take a photo
of a kids' playground.
Motherhood, dog shit
or needles in a sandpit?
No. Kids playing,
the usual, kitsch.
When do you want them?
- It's urgent.
Yeah, when isn't it?
What is it?
You don't look too happy.
We're boycotting.
- They introduced fascism.
The boss said no credit.
The boss said no credit,
the boss said no credit.
Fuck you.
Hey, you got anything?
- No, otherwise I'd give you some.
I've just started working,
right?
So, do you think after
you've been working for a while,
you'll have some, or what?
- I'm gonna change the world.
Or I'll be a star.
We'd better go.
That's the last beer
I'll get on credit.
So can I drink it in peace?
Please?
Hey, give us a swig;
it's so hot.
It's boring; if there was
some paedophile jerking off,
we could at least take a picture.
Can you imagine the headline:
Dick Watches Children.
Would that be over the top?
Do you want to go home?
But you could censor it, so it
wouldn't be too outrageous.
Those black strips,
you know.
It's so hot.
- It's not that bad.
When I get a car
I'll have air-conditioning.
Why don't you have air-conditioning?
- Why don't you have a car?
Slow down, will you?
- I can't; they're following us.
What, who? -I don't know.
Montenegrin mafia.
They heard you're
looking for an interview.
Are you pulling my plonker?
I see, that's your style.
Every photographer's got his
style. Right. I'll remember.
Good morning; papers.
- Don't do that.
I could get a heart attack.
Representatives of the press,
have we earned anything?
Nothing. But we discovered
a primary drug.
It's for free and it totally works.
- Oh, come on.
Take care of the bag.
The bag, the bag.
You thieving prick. OK, we all
steal a bit, if we are in need.
But you aren't in need:
2000, 2700 tolars.
What's this?
You ain't in need at all.
Don't take the smack.
Please.
You're really not in need
and you steal.
Please, don't take
the smack.
Come on dickhead
you didn't have to start this,
but a guy makes
his living out of that bag.
Come on
leave him the smack,
so he doesn't start
killing grandmas.
Forget it, we've got every
moral right to take eveything.
OK, I'll leave the needles.
He's got everything and he steals.
We've won.
So, confiscation.
Did you get a picture?
I could do a great article:
"What are the police doing?"
He didn't seem very photogenic.
Anyway, I told you
to take care of my bag.
Yeah, well, I just wanted
to turn around a bit, too.
Don't you get used to it.
This is dangerous.
Yeah, well, you could've taken
a picture of how I...
Great action.
- Bastards!
It's a pity there's no duck,
I would've given it some bread.
Right, it's so boring.
This is supposed to be a river
that runs through the capital.
Crap. Where are the boats,
where are the ships?
Everywhere they have boats
and ships, tourism, the sights,
London, Paris, Amsterdam,
Belgrade, swimming, hotels,
restaurants, mixed grill,
striptease.
We cretins have only got
a bit of crap here and there.
Floating.
Yeah, there aren't even
any ducks.
There could be
a bit more life here.
That would be real crap.
Well, right away you'd find
some dickhead on a scooter
and that would be
a be real party, right?
Oh, you'd better imitate
those cicadas or whatever.
Crickets.
OK, seaside snapshot.
Potatoes, mulled wine with
basil, and next to it,
a nice little trout.
Sorry to be annoying,
but the trout is a freshwater fish.
A sea fish would be like,
like the sardine.
You must've seen that
On a can.
So how do you know
so much about animals?
You got a book or what?
Nature's OK.
Except some beetles.
Now everything's itchy already.
There must be
mosquitoes here.
Imitate a cicada: maybe
mosquitoes are afraid of them.
Crickets.
- OK, crickets.
Maybe mosquitoes
are afraid of them.
What do you think, Mr Expert?
Are they or are they not
afraid of crickets?
I wouldn't know.
Yeah, right. Nature.
You never know.
Would it be great to rev up
a scooter here, or what?
OK, or with a motorboat, you
wouldn't row in this heat, right?
A motorboat, and you can go
slow, look at all the chicks
sunbathing, and jerk off.
Where the fuck do you see
any chicks?
Hey, look at him. Wake up,
speak. What's up, man?
Why are you shaking?
My head's jumping. Hey, have we
got anymore of that stuff
we confiscated
from that jerk?
Here it is, I don't want any.
We could sell it to some kid
but my heart won't let me.
I'm too soft, for fuck's sake.
What do you mean,
your head is jumping?
That's complicated, my friend.
I see everything
from every angle.
I don't get it, I have to admit,
but it sounds interesting.
But don't say then
that I'm all fucked up.
Look, it's really like this:
the moment he says,
let's say, a boat,
I see the boat, you see?
But the moment I look there,
I see us sitting here,
or if I look there,
the same happens.
I really do see
everything from the back.
That's fucking crazy,
because my head's
already on fire.
But I hear everything, too,
you see, everything,
totally mixed up, mess.
It's getting
harder and harder, man.
But only if I'm straight.
If I get really drunk, I mean,
really, then it's fine. Really.
Then I don't see anything.
I see nothing from the left,
from the right, nothing, fog.
Can you see
into the future, too?
No, now. Today and all.
- I'm interested in the future.
Hey, what about if I say tits,
what do you see then?
Well, tits.
I'm not sure if I quite get this,
but it sounds fucked up.
I mean, I don't see anything,
even if I'm straight.
Not left, not right,
not diagonally, not...
Don't worry, man. Hey,
does anybody know how to do this?
Yeah. Roll up a banknote
and sniff it up your nose.
Let me try again.
- Hey, hey, don't you even dare.
Hey, can anyone lend me
a banknote?
We already split them all.
- I've got two coins.
Well, it could be worse.
What I could see from each side,
that was all right.
The worst is when you start
to think from every angle,
from each side and that.
Then it starts. Every single
simple thing gets complicated.
Like?
Like, wait,
I have to remember,
Like... like...
Like... -Forget it.
So what's the plan today?
Convalescence, health
recovery, a break, etc.
I was thinking of work.
We could go and find a prostitute.
'"Prostitution... "'
- We have a day off.
You're not serious.
Could you bring me a... -Nothing.
Hiya.
- Hiya.
Hey, mate, can you
take us to the car? -What car?
My car. -Why would I take
all of you to your car?
Why wouldn't I just take
you, since it's your car?
Because it will be easier
to find it. We sort of lost it.
More heads see more,
you know.
So you lost your car;
that's interesting.
Just outside town.
- Close?
Really close,
pretty close.
What were you doing
just outside town?
Don't complicate; we were
walking for three hours;
well, two; you know
walking's such a drag.
We were looking for a pub
that was still open.
Did you find one?
- Of course, we're not idiots.
Did they give you anything?
- Thank God they didn't.
Even without it we skidded off
the road. -Who was driving?
And then you skidded
into a ditch.
It was so dark, man
you know.
In that situation
you switch the lights on.
Even a car like yours
probably has some.
My dear quiet friends,
you stay here,
you won't be any help,
while we go after the missing car.
Staying with you is a young
journalist, who would just be
in the way with his advice.
He'll watch over you.
Better than my bag last night.
If you're bored, you can talk.
We are going for a drive
in the sun, because we're cold.
Left or right?
- I wouldn't know.
Left, left, we went left;
go left, definitely, go left.
Hey, what if you told me
your life stoy. It's boring,
so let's do an interview.
Hey, now you've got a chance
to tell the whole world
what bothers you.
Do you know who
you remind me of?
Of those guys in the movies
who are not happy
and keep staring
in front of themselves.
Fuck it.
- Ha, gotchya.
Congratulations,
you stalled it.
That cow won't be suckling
any more calves.
You sure it won't get up
and chase us around?
Wait, till I buy myself a tractor,
neighbour, then I'll catch you.
Oh you juicy, juicy,
slimy cunt.
Let's go home.
This is not good.
Look, man, how those udders
hang down, and we drink that.
It's so huge. Do you know
how much meat that is?
How much
is a kilo of beef?
I reckon that's at least
three hundred kilos.
What do you think, Jaka?
Three hundred, four?
I wouldn't know.
- You could make it
into one big hamburger,
make tons of cash.
Let's put it
on the top of the car,
take it to some bent butcher,
loads of money, total business.
Go on, you lift it.
You are the strong one.
Fuck, that's gonna be hard;
maybe we should cut it up first.
But that would be a fuck-up;
blood and everything.
You'd get in a real mess.
Fuck.
We forgot about you.
Where did we pick you up?
Hey lads, where are we,
what's going on?
Look at that cow;
is it asleep or what?
Actually, no. -Hey, guys,
have you heard this one?
What's the difference between
a normal cow and a mad cow?
A normal cow goes:
MOO MOO MOO.
A mad cow goes:
moomoo haha moomoo haha.
So now
you're going to laugh?
Now you're going to laugh,
you're going to make fun?
I think the beef business
fell through. Let's get out of here.
Yeah, it doesn't look
too good.
He could be quite dangerous
with that rake.
It's a fork.
That's even worse. Let's go.
Does it still look funny now?
Shitty slickers, hippy fucks.
I'll get you. I swear on this
necklace, on this cross.
I lost my chain.
My christening chain.
Fucking junky parasites.
I'll get you, I'll get you.
Now what?
We're picking some maize
to eat, as there's no meat.
I just don't know
how we'll get over that ditch.
Some guy comes along
that you don't like at all,
and it turns out he's the
boyfriend of a girl
that you really like.
That's a tragedy.
Do you feel as though
you were paralysed?
I am, completely paralysed.
You hold it too close to the fire.
- Oh yeah...
Before you stands an expert
with years of practise.
Sure; men are always experts.
I really don't know why
we say men and women.
It would be better to say
experts and women.
Is this all right?
Perfect, now you just turn
it slowly. No panic, though.
Cow murderers, that's not
nice, a great sin.
I think we should
atone and repent,
right the wrong somehow.
The main thing is you should
do something worthy, good.
Don't start.
What do you want us to do,
buy another cow, or what?
Do you know how much that is? That's
five or six hundred kilos of meat.
Anyway, what's a cow doing
walking all over the road?
By the road. That's different. -I
wasn't thinking of anything like that.
Some small good deed.
Buy a round, help some
poor folk across the road.
The gesture is what counts,
the good intention.
Or you'll feel bad for the rest
of your lives; that's what I'm trying
to tell you.
- The round idea's all right.
But you don't have any money.
- Money isn't everything.
I don't have any bad feelings;
I'm going home to fuck Baza.
Hello, good afternoon.
I need the number
of Zdenka shop
at the end of Rome Street.
Thank you.
Five minutes.
Hello.
- Good afternoon.
I'm calling from
the Patos company.
We have a great prize
for shop assistants.
Are you alone in the shop?
- No, there are two of us.
Why don't you call
your colleague?
Mojca, it's a game.
So listen, don't be nervous,
for just a few more moments.
The questions are easy,
the prizes really great.
Two weekend packages
for two in the Hotel Solarium.
Children free
if you have any.
The hotel is air-conditioned
and right on the beach.
Well, as I mentioned
the beach, part of the prize
is a beach towel, a nice packet
of sun creams SPF 12,
and an inflatable pillow in this
season's trendy colours.
And that's not all. You also get
two free tickets to the casino
where you're sure
to have a lovely time.
And what is the prize question?
We'll be coming to the prize
question any moment now.
In Zmavc pub
we changed it for cold one.
You know what commission
I had to give to that pig waiter?
Three cans, three cans
of beer for doing nothing.
Hiya, mate. Can you do me
a favour? Baza's coming.
We agreed to meet, only
I have something urgent to do.
Tell her I'll be back
in ten minutes, OK? -OK.
Hi. -Hi. Your bloke
was here.
He said he had some serious
business to do; he'll be back
in two or three hours,
and you should wait.
I have to wait three hours.
Typical.
He said he'd take me home.
Oh well, I'll walk.
Shall I take you?
- No, I don't mind walking a bit.
So I'll walk you.
- Yeah, but it's a long way.
Then we'd better go
right away.
Who can stand your noise,
who can stand your noise?
Every day. Who can put up
with your shouting all day?
Who can stand listening
to you all day long?
Could I have
five minutes of peace?
Some people are working,
if you didn't know.
What are you
looking at me for?
What are you looking
at me for like a creampuff?
Come here, you bloody dwarf,
and you'll play the ball
while I box your ears.
Yeah, yeah. Who's the man now,
who's the man, I ask?
Whose ball is it,
whose ball is it?
Go and get your father,
send him upstairs to me
and we can have a little talk
about raising kids and football.
Fekonja, seventh floor,
that block.
When I was a kid we played
football in the woods, not here.
Yeah, you little brats.
Bloody hell, can I sleep
for half an hour or not?
Go and fetch your father,
I told you.
Don't you get it:
I work from six till two,
and so I want a bit of peace
and quiet when I get home.
Can I have it?
Yes, thank you.
What are you
grinning at now?
What are you grinning at?
You think I'm funny; I didn't know.
Can I ask you something?
Where did you find that idiot?
At high school.
I was a real difficult kid then.
I fucked anyone I fancied.
Was sixteen and all that.
My parents went mad.
Once Dejan was at my place
and my dad grabbed him.
Dejan stood up, like that,
and pouf, down went my dad.
Is it forever?
- For the time being.
Then he just took me away.
Got a flat.
And you get used to it.
- Has he ever hit you?
No. I wanted to a few times,
but he's too fast.
Fast as a mongoose, he is.
You're not meant
to be together.
This will have to change.
It's no good like that.
Yes? -Where've you been?
We agreed to do some work.
The gay scene
in Ljubljana and stuff.
I've been walking with a girl,
and I couldn't care less
about the gay scene,
let them do whatever they want.
You are with Baza. Bastard.
- You know, destiny and such.
Where are you? In bed?
- Not yet.
We were just smoking
drugs on some, on some bridge.
Nice, romantic and everything.
I think I'm a little... with her.
How much have you smoked,
you wasted?
I haven't been counting.
She rolls them like mad.
But she's got this great thing.
We went through half the town
and not once did she look
in any of the window shops.
Sure, she's stoned.
- See you tomorrow. Bye.
Tomorrow.
I lied a little. He didn't say
in two or three hours,
but in ten minutes,
your bloke.
So that's what you're like.
OK.
Hey, what kind of name
is Baza?
It's an abbreviation;
actually I'm Bazilika.
My mother's mad about herbs.
Bazilika is a herb.
I know. The best.
Let's go...
Get off...
So what did I tell you,
did I tell you or didn't I?
The best terrace in Ljubljana.
The best, the view, the air,
the light. There's only one
problem. It's not mine.
Father gives me the keys,
if I beg on my knees for two days.
That's no wonder,
'cause you lose them immediately.
Just what I was going to say.
What, I only lost
the one to the entrance.
Don't pick the grass.
Dad would kill me.
It's not ready yet, anyway.
All right for now. Put it in
the oven for half an hour
at seventy degrees.
That's why dad will give us
a bottle, he said it was fine.
Miser, just one,
like I was a twelve year old.
Don't you dare go downstairs.
I won't clean after you, pigs.
There's a bucket to piss in.
What if I have to go?
Will you look away or what?
You can go down, but don't
piss on the toilet seat.
Look, I had a fantastic plan,
fantastic, simple.
Dad's got these totally
frozen mushrooms.
Just switch them
for a bag of panther caps
or something nasty like that,
stick on the right label,
and it would be my terrace.
But I'm too sentimental.
That fucks me every time.
- May I say something?
Please. Son gives his father
lethal mushrooms.
That's too much,
that's too much.
I wanted to kill my father, too.
He kept bugging my mother,
then he just dropped dead,
thank God. We're quite similar.
Your dad raised this quite well.
Better than you. Don't kill him.
When I am old, I will get
into botany, balcony botany.
Fuck it, fuck it.
- You've got quite a good voice.
You can easily say something
from time to time.
Last night we went out for
a walk, I hear. Did you do it?
She said you didn't.
But Baza fancies blokes
with big lips, you know.
You have to do exercises.
Look...
For the upper lip,
and...
For the lower lip.
It helps. Go on, try it.
Again, and again...
Evey bloody day...
Quiet, we're resting.
What is it, guys,
it's murmuring, ha?
Hey, let me go.
- I don't think so.
Will you be quick?
- I wouldn't know.
Maybe yes, maybe no.
Come on, hurry up.
Come on, hurry up, man.
Come on, at least
make some coffee.
We're going to Zmavc
for a coffee.
Ha. Got any money?
I'll kill him, if he doesn't
give me a coffee.
Hey, where's Frida?
You really bugged her,
so she went home.
What do you mean? She was
getting all hot for me, explicitly.
Could be, only she wanted
something hard, not puked.
Her turn will come.
We know types like that.
You know what
I wanna know, my friend?
What are you going to do
with this bucket?
Virtually dead man.
Exceptionally stoned.
Should we call a doctor?
Are you crazy, or what,
now we're gonna cure him or what?
You would fuck up
such a great opportunity.
I know. We help him,
he'll show his gratitude
and then give us drinks
on credit.
He'll come round.
In the meantime let's have a drink.
Who's got a belt?
In case he goes crazy
when he wakes up.
I got it.
Go on. Take a photo.
Drugs under the bar,
can you imagine?
We're no working.
It's Sunday.
Give me a, give me a coffee,
small one, no, a double.
Hell no, give me a spritzer.
Good evening. I'd like to talk
to my future girlfriend.
Right now.
- Misko, is that you?
I want to talk to Bazilika
Baza as you call her,
which I find disgusting.
It's no wonder, mister beef Dejan,
since you're the biggest jerk
I have ever met.
So you have until tomorrow
to get out of her life
and don't you touch her again.
He put the phone down.
Why did you hang up last night?
That's not nice.
Someone tells you
a few things and you go berserk.
Fuck you, man.
- Listen...
This is what I suggest. Come over
for a bit of fun, to relax,
and I'll go to Bazilika
for a bit of a rest, I'm tired.
Fucking hell...
Put her on the phone
so I can send her a kiss.
Towel.
You'll never believe,
but I need another piss.
Where's that prick,
so I can kill him.
I wouldn't know.
Mr beef Dejan, now
I will have to fight or what?
You will go
moo moo haha to me.
Look out.
This is too much,
this is too much.
I got him. I got him.
- Yeah, I can see that.
Didn't I say so,
I got him, I got him.
I'm calling the police.
I got him, I got him, I said that
I would and I got him.
Leave me, leave me,
leave me, I give up.
I don't like people touching me,
is that clear?
I know that I have fallen
into the categoy of criminal,
but I am still a person.
- Shut up, peasant.
Quiet. One thing after another.
A statement.
What can I say?
I said I'd get him, and I did.
Now I surrender, no problem,
the law is the law.
I'm waiting for official people,
for the police.
I'm for the official procedure,
and then for God's judgement.
Was that OK?
- It's OK.
Stand here for a photo,
and it will be just fine.
Where shall I stand?
Hey, I'm having
really bad hallucinations.
Please take me to the doctor,
this is not a joke any more.
All we needed now
were these jerks.
And then the guy looks
for them in town
and in the end stabs one with a fork.
- Where? -In the middle of town.
Well, it's disgusting, really.
- He just stabbed him?
Yeah, the one who was
in the boot all that time. -How?
In the back. -Sounds good. -I got
amazing pictures, blood and all that.
Great. That's fine; all we
need now is a headline, a subtitle.
How about this: Peasants One,
Townies Nil, or I Got Him!
Would that be too nasty?
- Don't be ridiculous.
I got a statement from the peasant.
- Bring it so we can look at it.
But hurry up; the deadline.
- OK; see you.
You might say that this grey
day means the end of summer.
But it's only beginning for us.
I'm going to the seaside
tomorrow with you,
and you can do
what you want.
You seem a bit ugly to me.
- Ugly. What'cha mean, ugly?
Small mouth, ugly teeth,
scars all over your head.
When I was younger,
I was a little wild, I admit.
Now I'm a nice, mature guy.
Mature?
You keep making faces.
But I've got beautiful eyes.
I think I'm actually
one of the best-looking people
in the world.
And you're fat.
Do want another scar
on your face?
No, I don't. Give me a little
heart on my shaven head,
because I am in love.
As soon as we get there
I'll cook you some fish.
Yeah, sure. As soon as
a bloke gets to the seaside,
he opens a beer.
When Misko gets to the sea,
he opens a bottle of wine.
Fish and wine,
it's a kind of law.
Except I can't eat much,
supposedly I'm fat. I'm dieting.
I love fatsies. I might even
make you fatter at the seaside.
And we're going to sleep
in the car?
No, in a house.
I'm not saying anything else.
Ah, we break into some
weekend house.
I see, crime and all that.
And why do we have to go
tomorrow, exactly?
Because school starts.
When I was young I went to school.
You had no choice, you know,
and the first of September
was always bad, disgusting,
screwed up, fucked up
and a totally shitty day.
And I swore thus: that when
I was big, and now I am,
I would, on every first of
September, go to the seaside.
Full stop.
I don't have any more holiday.
Full stop.
Frida.
- You can go, you can go.
Since there's no one in this
fucking salon, anyway.
My bloke gets killed
and after two weeks
I go to the seaside with
another one. So I'm a whore.
No, no and again no.
You've made a slaughter-house
out of my bar.
Look, there still blood
on the floor. Now tell me something.
Do you know anyone,
anyone who likes coffee
served next to a dried up
pool of blood? Well?
This is no good for business,
for business, this is bad.
What shall I do now? What?
Coat the floor with asphalt,
or slaughter myself, maybe
hara kiri, something weird,
some ritual stuff.
No one comes here anymore anyway.
But how can you be so cold-hearted
after two months of sailing?
You made my workers suffer,
mentally and physically.
You'll get nothing.
Nothing, nothing, nothing,
nothing and nothing.
Is that clear, is that clear?
I hope that is now finally clear.
Nothing, no credit,
no drinks, nothing.
Your time will come,
don't worry, we know the type.
Anyway, why am I wasting
my time with you?
Frida, do you want to come up
to the terrace for a while?
Luka. A lost cunt never
comes back. Right, guys?
Go on, then they took
a picture of you, x-ray.
Oh yeah, sure,
let me finish.
Then they find that I have
a small bump, a small tumour,
which pushes on the centre,
so I see all kinds of stuff.
Like I explained to you,
right?
Oh, yeah. Like from left,
right, up, and down?
Yeah, right.
And now they want to give
me bloody chemotherapy,
fuck, and tomorrow, too.
Look, I have it already marked.
You know what that means?
Operation. Laser, though. Now they
can do it just with one ray.
But the worst thing is that
after that I won't have any need
to get drunk, wasted, stoned.
That would be a tragedy.
Yeah, you'll have to look
at this from all angles.
You know how bored you will be
if you're suddenly normal?
You'll go completely mad.
Oh yeah, that's my brother.
I just came back from the seaside.
Crazy, man, crazy.
Has he got the same
problem as you have?
No, he gets drunk.
He likes it.
Where did you get
this tattoo?
This is not good.
Mom will not be happy.
From Misko and Baza.
Hm, and then they lived
happily ever after.
But I always thought
that she was a bit fat.
Hey, where's that guy, Quiet?
Oh, you don't know?
They beat him to death.
Some blokes, for nothing.
Apparently they broke
five of his ribs, broken spleen,
blood spilt into his brain,
cracked skull, broken jaw,
both eyes spilt out,
his balls fucked up,
both ear-drums torn, broken leg,
God knows what else.
Just like that? For nothing?
Just for the fun of it?
Where'd you hear that?
- I heard it.
Well, wrong info,
it seems. Thank God.
We heard that they beat
you almost to death.
We heard that they beat
you almost to death.
Fuck it, right?
Fuck it, eh?
Yeah, but a beer
would be quite nice now.
What beer? What beer,
what beer? No beer at all.
I won't even give you a glass
of water for the rest of my life.
The whole town
knows this place now.
And those photos, colour,
over the whole page, lovely,
from all angles, professional
stuff, great, great, thank you.
Do you know what
they called it, my pub?
No, you don't know.
Slaughter-house, yes.
No wonder, no wonder,
since I have
a dried up swamp
on the asphalt in front of the pub.
Shall I call a bulldozer to clear it
all up, or what shall I do?
And then you want a beer,
and a cold one, too, I s'pose.
Who asked you anything,
anyway? We'll think of something.
Hello? I'm calling from
the Patos company.
We have a lovely prize-winning
game for shop assistants.
The prizes are really lovely...