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Jekyll And Hyde... Together Again (1982)
now gently,gently,ever so gently
we probe the bones and fleshy tissue searching for the object pressing the patients nerve hes been at it for over two hours what a great doctor and so cute aha!and there it is doctor Jekyll,you"re so bitchin control yourself nurse sor-ry! and now we must quickly remove the object restoring the patients motor functions impressive! very imressive Dr. Carrew I'm glad you approve,sir! Dr Jekyll is the finest surgeon we ever had at our lady of pain and suffering Its only fitting that he preform the worlds first total transplant on you, the worlds richest man,Hubert Howes Have I told you how proud we are to be preforming the operation here at our lady? several times you're a... kiss ass aren't you yes sir! I like that Dr Jekyll:Now by stimulating different isolated areas of the cortex we can demonstrate that all normal function have been restored arm movement even finger movement now we must close the scalp needle and thread thimble he has the steadiest hands I ever seen now, are there any question? does a good physician validate parking? thats a matter of individual conscience sir,what new surgical breakthroughs are you planning? Actually none....I am giving up surgery I'm sorry class this is the last operation i will ever preform Barbera Plow, I'm a resident specializing in nuclear medicine and I can really get behind everything you're saying and everything.. but,it really just blows my mind you know to think you'll never be operating again because you're so mellow and everything you know and like,it really like freaks me out to the max to think that you're quitting on me and like couldn't you do one more operation for us..please please,please,please no...no,no,no,no from now on,I intend to devote every waking hour to research research,that i hope will one day unlock mans brain and release survival instincts enabling to make himself well research that will one day eliminate the costly,painful,almost inhumane procedure we now call.. surgery patient:owww! Dr. Jekyll,what do you intend to replace suergery with? Drugs (interns cheering) Don't worry sir,he'll be leaning over you friday with a knife rest assured if this operation,doesn't come on... I'll buy this whole block... I'll blow up this building.... with you tied in you're office... and I'll dig the corpse out of the rubble and throw it in an open pit in front of your whole family Jekyll Jekyll Jekyll What the hell was that nonsense you were spouting in there I wasn't spouting nonsense... I was spouting the truth Truth?truth won't buy a used turd my boy I don't feel like getting into a physological discussion,i got work to do. let me go No I'm asking you man to man let go of my smock sure I'll let you go so you can preform the most important operation of your life on Hubert howes Hubert Howes? Ahhh Haaa Haaa! I thought that would interest you He has chosen our lady and you to do the worlds first total transplant total transplant? thats right heart,liver,lungs,reproductive organs and anything else we can dig up soon as we gather them up we're gonna stick'em in him and you're doing the job I'm sorry,ther was a time when the challenge would have appealed to me but right now my research.... Screw your research! you signed on here as a surgean and by god thats what you're gonna be later look at all that machinery those gizmos cost money big money we got to keep those machines working to pay for them they help people back from the brink of death and the only way to put'em on the birnk of death is surgery you have a strange attitude for a hero you have a strange attitude for a man engaged to my daughter! i own this place,i gotta keep an oven to pay the rent I make money,my daughter benefits you benefit.... its simple ugly perhaps,but simple I'm late you're doing that operation! No I'm not! You can tell Hubert Howes to stick it up his ass He doesn't have an ass! thats another thing we're transplanting! I'm late for my rounds in the charity ward Jekyll,I swear I'll stop the marriage I don't believe you would use your daughter as a pawn in this sleazy affair you don't? maybe he would how are you feeling today? terrible doctor since last night my back has been a miserable pain I smell death! lets have a look,shall we? you'll feel a brief pain feel better? oh yes! its a miracle! the pain is gone... ...and so is the smell of death! you get some rest now how are we today? Owww! Hi, Daniel Hello sick people! Good afternoon Ms. Carrew Good afternoon,Carla Mary,what are you doing here? well.... I was suppose to have lunch today with a certain young, successful,handsome brilliant surgean,but i guess he forgot You're seeing another man? I'm talking about you silly! Oh,I'm sorry about lunch dear.. ..its just that I have alot on my mind My research,the charity work the daughter I adopted from the developing nation... read that,i have to answer the letter she wrote dear American fraud the day will come when you and the other dogs of imperialism will be disembowed by the subjegated masses on your bones will be left to rot under the sun of revolution... P.S. thank you for the combs! How sweet! Her vocabulary is really improving Shes a lovely girl... (patient mumbling) What did you say? Fucking blue cross! Look at this poor, suffering soul If only I could make his survival instincts stronger Thats the key! Daniel,could you walk me back to my car before you go back to work? Of course Daniel,you got to stop working so hard! Guess i'm not much of a fiance' am i dear Its you i'm worried about I'm sorry dear..I'll try to be more fun Its just hard right now My experiments aren't going great... you're fathers on me about operating on some senile old billionaire My hairs thinning out in the back Daddy told me you're giving up surgery Yes I know what you're thinking Daniel... You're thinking that if you still don't make alot of money,I won't marry you I wasn't thinking that I was Uh,Mary! Sometimes I question your values Oh,don't anyway we're gonna be fine darling,because... I took the notes for your experiment and i submitted them to the prize committee Really?! Mary! I know you're gonna win the prize..500,000 dollars you know my research is a private thing you violated my sacred trust for a few dollars honey,we've gotta eat Hi kids,all for a nueter? whats a nueter? never mind,Daniel Hi Newt you devil thats me! now Daniel,don't work to hard you need to rest I'll rest on our honeymoon not if i can help it Bye gorgeous bye,bye! What a beauty, huh? yeah,but its a gas guzzler I'm talking about Mary thank god they're not all like her I'd be out of plastic surgery business Oh,by the way what do you think of my nose? I took a little off the top this morning, just a trim I ah, did it myself you didn't notice did you? Hey Jek... Hey Jekyll Wait up! You're looking awful tired these days old buddy come to my office I'll do a quick eye job on you. people are starting to talk about you Intercom:would a proctologist report to the emergency room There is an asshole waiting I know my theory is correct man over the centuries... man over the centuries has tried to control nature with his intellect And it is this question which is at the root of human suffering and illness If only the animal in man can be released... and studied.... if mans primal survival instincts could be tapped for the good of the organism as a whole... So far dear diary my results have been discouraging after administering formulas one through six in test rats.. no perceivable results are noticed little guy remains listless and depressed modified formula 137 administered must also be deemed a failure I shall have to begin again (knock at door) Just a minute (knocking again) Yes? I'm sorry to bother you Doctor thats all right Now who is it? Doctor,theres a young lady in emergency... I can't find Dr.Lucas.. Alright Alright, whats the problem? She seems to have a foriegn object lodged in her.... v-a-g-i-n-a Uh,lets go C'mon,lets get this shit over with Wheres the foriegn object? this is going to be difficult... we'll need a speculum,syringe.. ten cc's of librium and a bucket of ice cold water Goddamn,son of a bitch! Syonora Now.. what are you looking at? Nothing..absolutely nothing Oh,shit What on top of everything else,I got a hole in my only classy pair of panty hose Oh god! I'm sorry about you're panty hose... Umm.., here! ...I've got some money Ten dollars is all I've got.. ...Take it Oh sure,you give me ten bucks and i'm suppose to give you head,right? Head?whats head? Oh!No!No head! My head is fine...I don't need head Really? No sex? No..sex... Sex is the furthest thing from my mind right now So.. if you'll excuse me I've gotta get back to my cock My lab..I gotta get back to my lab Wait! Whats your name,nice doctor Jack-kyll chockter Jangle chocktor janieil jeckyll Doctor ..Daniel...Jekyll Oh,I'm Ivy You're kinda sweet Ummm,I work at a club in Chinatown Madam Woowoo's Why don't you visit me sometime Save the whales! Dr. Jekyll? Dr. Jekyll! This mans hands were severed in an accident You're so lucky,you're getting one of our finest surgeons How do you do? Ohhh...I see Thanks.... ...I'll get my wife to sew it on Midnight? I must work Experimental formula 142... ...No good Experimental formula 143,botched completely I'm too tired to continue tonight Possibility of error due to exhaustion is uh.... Tommorrow.. I'll start again.... tommorrow Uh oh Babe! Lets...get..down! Take it!...Take it buddy! Oh,thank you you very much Beat it,dickhead! Hey,how am i suppose to get out Right this way asshole Hi! Hi! Hi! Hiiiii... Is this seat taken? Yeah Excuse me,I said, is this seat taken? No Oh...that burns Hi! I said hi! give me some chicken sushi Chicken sushi? Aye packaroo! Now for your listening endurment... Madam Woowoo's is ashamed to present Ivy and the shitty rainbows Oye vey You guys are all alike Just because i work in a bar you think i'm an easy lay It pisses me off...it really does Come on, you hoser You're probably thinking the only thing i think about is bed Ok, how do you want it?front to front back to back,side to side.... Sitting,kneeling,squating,laying,licking.. I want it all ways! You're the Doctor What,what do you mean I'm the doctor? You get whatever you want Oh,of course Sorry I've been under terrible, terrible stress at work Oh,what do you do? I'm a chrysler dealer Oh ...that nice You get out from under there little teddy Ivey has work to do,say good night ....say good night You're beauty is classy... ...I know class You,cute too... whats your name? Oh come on,you don't have anything to hide from me Hide, huh Nothing to hide Whats so funny?! Nothing Thats my name... Hyde..,Mr. Hyde Don't you have a first name? No!..my parents lacked imagination I'm Ivy Venus Pleased to meet ya! You shake hands weird You in a fraternity? Ohhh...no more wire hangers ever I'm ruined! How far into the muck of my beast have I distanted That far? Mary Mary I'll never do it again,Mary! No peasents Yes ma'am Out!...out! You can't go in there! Now posting for your pleasure our final entrent... ....Ms. Mary Carrew Ms.Carrew is atop a beautiful plain gelding called.. A gift from daddy On court please Mary! Daniel Mary i have to talk to you What is it dear? Mary I've been such a fool! Can you forgive me for the way I neglected you? I forgive you darling I've been such a fool! Mary! I love you so much it hurts! I love you too! Mary,Mary Mary, precious,I can't live without you Lets get married tommorrow! Oh,of course darling You made me so happy I'm on top of the world you win first place... congratulations! You were wonderful darling Oh...good morning Who is that? Jekyll This won't hurt ,huh? Not that I give a shit A trifle...a trifle Is Mr. Howes still alive? Okay Mr Howes? Mr Howes...I brought one of your organ donors Which one? Him,sir Which organ, you fool Oh,this donor has signed on to donate one of his testicals Which one? Him,sir Which testical idiot! The left one,sir That correct? Yeah I'm right handed Mr Howe,may I say its an honor to be able to do this for you hell I admire you more than any living... ...Or almost living man All over some used testicals Carrew! The box! Yes sir,yes sir Mr Howes wonders why you admire him so much.... ....and you're only donating one testical Damn man,I'd give my left nut for capitalism,but not both of'em Mr Howes will pay you an additional fifty thousand dollars for the paradise No way! He ups his bid to one hundred thousand for the dangling beauties Huh-uh Balls!I need balls! One million dollars! Would you consider these sir? they're barely used Peanuts! May i suggest... I'll take the million You'll like these Were do I go doc? C'mon..I'll take you to the organ donor center Carrew! Get back here I...yes My TV camera hasn't picked up Dr.Jekyll anywhere today He's ahh resting for the big operation,sir So he's ready to operate? Oh,yes Good.. Good Otherwise... Hospital blown up.. ... me in it... ...body in a pit.. I know I know Uhh... control That was easy No problem How stupid of me What if this had been flushed out to sea? How selfish of me not to think of the dolphins and the whales and the pelicans and...there could be damage by this how terrible... Terrible I'll just weigh it first to see how much I'm actually throwing out Thats important! Important scientific data Official weight... Alot! Uh..I'm acting like a two year old baby! Why throw it away? I worked hard to come up with this stuff I should save it For future experiments For future experiments... thats it,not all of it Just a little tiny bit say... all of it Not that I would take any myself No... I'll get rid of it! Who needs it Not me! I've got self control I wonder... ...Whos pictures on a dollar bill? Oh sure!...George Washington! Hi George! Bye George! Its madness.. I have a wonderful women who loves me... A good career,respect of my peers Oh,what the hell..one line won't hurt Ooooh,I shouldn't have done it! Easy,easy... You'll be fine You were very brave donating both of your testicals (high pitched voice)Watch it buddy! Hey buddy,what are you doing Hey,get the hell out of there you maniac Wanna go for a ride? Cut'em Hi! Alright... Pieces of dueces are wild Yoooohoooo! Wheres Ivy? Oh,...hi! Pearl Harbor buddy! Wheres Ivy? Out Where? Why should we tell you? (All)Shes at the supermarket! Yeah...smooth Hey...hey,what are you doing? Hey...hey let me go! IVY! Ivy... Mom? (dog barking) Quit playing with other dogs My love! You shop here? I'm shopping for you! We'll make the grapes into wine my pumpkin,princess Not here ,what do you think this is...a Kmart? Lets go back to your palace my queen Where we'll find the fruits of passion You pay for the groceries Yes! I love your hair.... ....who does it? Ten items or less? (Counting) Eleven?...shit! Whats the big deal..get in line! No,no,no,no,no! Meet me at the other end Here! Great van! I didn't know you were a surfer! (mans voice)Thats my feet jack! Mary! Mary Mary (dogs barking) (whispering)...Mary Hey!...theres a man on the ledge he look like he might fall Is he white? Yeah! Let him! Mary... Daniel Daniel My bedroom is down here Whos room is this? My fathers Why didn't you come sooner we had a fabulous piece of veal! Mary ...I'm an unfeeling cad Oh....its not that bad I can make us sandwiches with the crust cut off Or do a pie Mary? Yes? Can we go inside? My bedroom? Sure! Oh... Daniel Mary I need you You do? I want my woman now! Oh ....Daniel Take off youe clothes (Gulp!) (Turns on soft music) That was beautiful Daniel Hmmm? Didn't we leave something out? I don't think so SO! I did here my daughter being ravished down here No...you didn't Jekyll...you're low ...you,re disgusting... You come here to my house,to the flower of my most precious possesion But sir,I decided to preform the operation You have! Fuck your brains out kids! Jekyll:A new day! A new beginning! And so dear diary.. I'm becoming a surgeon again and throwing away this damnable potion Good morning troops! At ease! Not that much! Men... ...We are on the threshold of a new surgical event... ...today we will preform an operation of such magnatude... That I personally will assist Dr. Jekyll Thank you..thank you Of course I could do the whole thing myself It ain't like I need the boy.. Quiet!..quit fartin around or else Wheres Dr. Jekyll?! Jekyll! Jekyll! You're on asshole! We got work to do! Alright... give me the gas Lets go Jekyll... ...time is critical Yes,you,re right... ...this is gonna be a long tough one.. Scalpel! Um...the sharp thing? Yes! Kazongas baby! Jekyll? Yes? Jekyll! Coming! Oh my god its happening without the drug!! Oh..no..no..no..no Come on...Jekyll! What the hell is going on? Nothing..nothing sir Are you okay doctor? I'm fine..I'm fine as wine baby! Doctor you,re engaged! Jekyll...whats wrong with your voice ...do you want a sucrets? No..I'm fine ...I,m totally fine Whoops! Jekyll get a grip.. ..a mans lifes at stake Mine! I'm alright ,sir Please...let me finish what I was doing Before its too late for this patient Organ tray! Hurry up...the man is wide open I don't see an ass on there Cold cuts! You folks had lunch yet? Alright...gather up those organs we,re finishing without Jekyll Not with these organs,sir Ewww,I smell malpractice You know what to do doctor I think you'll be very,very happy with the results... ....Mrs. Simpson It isn't dangerous,is it Dr.Lanely No..no..no..no With the new technique... Complications are unheard of No incision is even needed With this new procedure... We merely need the precise amount of collangen behind the soft tissue For the results we want to achieve You'll feel a slight pressure.. ...And your breasts will grow in a jiffy Ready? See its almost fun,isn't it? Lanely,you gotta help me! Jekyll...I uh.. Something has gone wrong.. ...with my experiments.. ..I really fucked up babe! Dr.Jekyll,you're not making sense I can't explain it all right now All I can tell you is.. Something unexpected and horrible is happening to me.. I change into another person ...An animal.. And I can't help it! Mmm...ma...ma...ma..gotta.. Get the antidote.. I just,I just left a man in surgery You've got to help me get the drugs.. To counteract this immediately! Counteract what? This! So do I gotta problem...or not? Ha!..you think thats bad.. I only used to where this at home.. ...now its at the office too.. ...And as far as I know there's no antidote for this! Oh...God! Oh...Dr Lanely.. A minor problem Mrs Simpson I can get them back to normal Oh no...don't you touch a thing Oh...my! Bernies gonna love these! lets go home I must get some more! If that little wimp threw it all away,I'll kill'em I'll absolutely kill'em We better get back to the operation Ah..shut up (Boing) Owwww! Dr Jekyll? Yes...I am Dr Jekyll Telegram for you,sir Telegram... ...thank you! (Boing) Owww! Bad news? Help me..help us.. I'm a drug crazed beast with a giant erection.. That won't go away no matter how many times I do it.. You're a nurse...what can you give me for it? I can give you sixty dollars and my wedding ring Bus fair! I need big money for drugs Congradulations.. You have won the five hundred thousand dollar prize of medicine.. Award ceremony to be held in London... I did it! This'll buy Ivy! Operater:Remember..You can save time by looking up the number.. You give me the number for Ivy Venus bitch or... I'll crawl through these wires and eat your tonsils Alright...alright I'm looking! Sorry..I'm alittle edgy Its 555-9843 I could sell my house Hi..is this godamn thing on? Oh yeah I anyway I'm at funland leave a message...Hey stop..shit A very together young lady Take me with you... Use me...use me.. ...I'm trash! Hi dollface! Rape...rape! Later...if I have time! Don't touch me,you dirty hippie Wheres my mace (makes ambulance sounds) Ooop,better pull over its an ambulance Just one more game! (Pac-man starts) Hi..sweetlips! What are you doing here? Read this telegram! What are you doing with this... you got nothing to do with that guy I happen to know him Really! Uh-huh,Dr Daniel Jekyll.. Real nice guy...he helped me out of a tight spot once You like that little wimp,huh? Who are you to be putting him down you're not even fit to shine his shoes Yeah... I have shined his shoes... these are his shoes! And his shirt and his pants You stole his clothes? Look closely..my dear Look closely.. What do you see? A freaked out junkie Damn I am the doctor! You need a doctor Remember...these... Where did you get those! Don't forget the ten bucks I loaned you! It wasn't you! I'll explain on our way to London I'm not going anywhere with you! Shut up! Game:..Bite it! You're coming with me Leave me alone! chick-en dames! Nobody treats Ivy Venus that way.. Come on teddy bear... ...we'll show him The only way to fly! I'm gonna kill him... Give me a one way ticket to London Excuse me sir..do you have anything to declare? Man has not evolved as ancient scribes has formed him Thank you,sir Now this evenings chairman.. ...Lord Alfred Dreck Ladies and gentlmen... ...The Queen To Dr.Tellin and Joesph Schnieder.. ...Of Israel... Who will be developing a gas.. That will totally eradicate human lives... While leaving vegetation undisturbed It gives me great pleasure to.. ...present the five hundred dollar prize for ecology.. Joesph? Thank you,your majesty Tonight...we are ten feet tall.. Daniel will be here...I know it I wouldn't count on it,honey.. The last time I saw him.. he was a different man He burst in.. pushed me around ...he was covered in hair.. It was very sexy Daniel...sexy? Yes.. By the way..have I told you how lovely you look tonight? No... Thats only because I hate women Thank you Ldies and gentlemen.. ...we thank you! The five hundred thousand dollar prize for medicine this year... Is awarded to Dr Daniel Jekyll... Of the U.S.A. For harnessing mans animal instincts used for survival.. Accepting on behalf of Dr Jekyll... Is former oscar winner.. Mr George Shakiry I know... My good friend...Dr Jekyll... Would like you people to know.. This vial of powder... his last chase of work... Which was found in his lab... Will be donated to the pulitzer lab for further study My ass it will! Thats Jekyll Oh no..that can't be my Daniel.. Ladies and gentleman...The lovely George Shakiry..take a bow George Beautiful..beautiful human being Beautiful..beautiful human being.. Well its great to be back in jolly old England... Land of royalty.. Bad manners and bad tea! How about these arabs,huh? I passed this fancy hotel on my way here tonight... The doormans parking a camel The band they love me... And I love the band..they're great Five minutes more.. Ladies and gentleman..you got to excuse me.. you must be sitting there thinking.. What a disquise Cute! Its funny But... Wheres Jekyll... Jekylls not gonna make it.. ...he took a powder.. Up my nose..Maybe you can see him no..no..no..I'm kidding Because we are very close Ahh..In fact he sent me here tonight... Being the detecated guy he was.. He knew he was gonna succumb to the uhh... Experiments..He laid dying.. He prepared this deeply... Involved message That he wanted delivered There was a young lady from Glasco who... Who liked to be touched on the... Just kidding...just kidding! You've been swell... you've been a great house And now we'll go to the musical portion of our show... Hit it sound! Ah one, ah two, ah one ,two,three,four! You can't go in there,its formal Not dressed like that you,re not Hey! Stop him! Thank you! Stop in the name of the police Get out of there maggot.. ...he's mine! Bitch! Follow me! Ivy.... Yooohooo... I had to do it! You did right my child Look! My God! Ivy:Whats happening? Mary:Oh my god! It is Daniel! Then Hyde didn't lie to me You know him? Know him...this man ravished me day and night All he thought about was sex...sex...sex... He wasn't satisfied to orgasm at least twenty times You're kidding I wish My Daniel does nothing like that! Hes satisfied with stroking my hair and eating in cool resturants He never even thinks about having sex Oh...how sweet! Jekll:Where am I?! What happened! Where am I I'm here for you Daniel I'm here for you Hyde Look... I don't know who you are... This is Dr Jekyll... ...my fiance' I'm Ivy and this is my lover Wait.... Girls... I can't be either of yours These terrible experiments... Have made me realize that I am split into two personalitys... Well isn't everybody? I can't reconcile the two One is good, kind,gentle Uptight afraid of sex... Mine! The Other is.. Rough,evil,sex starved,animalistic Mine! We could probably work this out Couldn't we? I think so... I don't think you understa.... Shhh... We saw what you're thinking,darling Girls I umm.. Would you like to come up to the palace.. And see the royal sceptor Your Majesty Ivy:Hey,maybe we can get a little place together Mary:I'd like that! Mary :I'd take care of him in the morning... Ivy:and I'll take care of him in the afternoon... Mary:and we both take care of him at night! Babe! |
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