Hey, buddy,
whatcha got?
A turtle.
Oh, man.
What're you gonna do
with it?
Keep it.
Do you want to play
turtle with me?
If you can find another one.
I think there's
another one in there.
Is there 12 turtles
in that pond?
Yeah.
There's 11 turtles
in that pond,
two turtles on the rock.
Yeah, I got a turtle.
Where are the turtles?
- I want a turtle for Daddy.
- Hey, wait.
Can't I get a turtle
for Daddy?
No, you can't get one.
Almighty God,
see now your faithful servant...
as he lies in great weakness...
and bless him
with everlasting life...
in the name
of your Son,
have mercy on him.
Lamb of God,
you take away our sins.
Have mercy on him.
Lamb of God,
you take away our sins.
Lamb of God,
you take away our sins.
Lamb of God,
you take away our sins...
Have mercy on us.
Stop wrestling.
Kiss, kiss.
Kiss Mommy.
Kiss, kiss Mommy.
I love Punky.
Nice baby.
I love Punky.
Mommy says Punky nice baby.
Yes.
You love Mommy?
It's the end of wrestling.
Back together.
Back together again.
No--!
That's right.
That's right...
Hail, Lord Julien!
Hail, Lord Julien!
He made all the people
bow down before him...
Julien, Lord!
Julien, Lord!
Frere Jacques,
Frere Jacques,
Mommy too,
Mommy too,
Ding-a-long-a-lula,
ding-a-long-a-lula,
I'll have you,
I'll be you.
Frere Jacques,
Frere Jacques,
Mommy too, Mommy too,
Where are all the monkeys?
Where are all the monkeys?
In the zoo.
That's what I want to know.
That's what I want to know.
That's what I want to know.
That's what I want to know.
That's what I want to know.
That's what I want to know.
That's what I want to know.
That's what I want to know.
Take your teeth out.
Sorry, Chris.
You don't want 'em to rust
or something.
- I'm sorry.
- That's how you rot your teeth.
Chris got me my, uh--
Chris got me fronts
for my birthday.
- They're nice, right?
- Excellent.
I'm gonna let 'em rinse.
You should rinse them
in fresh water.
I only rinse them
in this juice.
This looks like
a state dinner.
When the queen was in Russia,
and there was this president
and his name was Brezhnev,
and he had these false teeth.
And during the state dinner,
he would take out his false teeth
and clean it with a fork.
After he ate?
I gotta do that as well.
- Tell her to sit straight.
- Yeah.
No, she should sit straight.
Is that right?
I see.
Tell her.
You eat good?
You like it?
Yes.
- She should sit straight.
- Yeah.
- Make her sit straight.
- Sit straight, Pearl.
She listens to you.
- Papa?
- Yes.
Am I sitting straight?
Yes, you are.
But look at your brother.
He thinks he's a wrestler.
Look at the guy.
It doesn't make sense to me.
"Warning...
do not take product
if you are hypersensitive."
Hypersensitive...
Am I hypersensitive?
Oh, my God.
I didn't hit right.
Am I hypersensitive?
Am I persistent?
Damn it.
Natural high...
like in the mountains,
high up.
Where are you,
Mount Everest?
Give me some Everest.
I started something like this
in the aftermath
of the Spanish conquest
of Peru.
There was a lot of infighting.
They formed parties,
and there was this unbelievable
amount of greed
among the Spanish.
And there was on one side,
Pizzaro and his brothers...
And on the other side,
there was Almagro...
And he was one
of the principal leaders,
and boy, the guy
really looked so ugly,
they sent a delegation
to the Spanish king
and Almagro looked
so gross and ugly,
they couldn't even
send him out there.
And there's this wonderful story
about this old
Spanish nobleman
who was well into his 70s,
who's been involved in campaigns
back in Europe, and then
the conquest of Mexico,
conquest of Peru.
He was white-haired,
and in all this fighting,
he was on one side,
I think sticking
to Pizzaro's side,
and all of a sudden he rides
into an ambush of his enemies,
and he rides on his horse and
they point their muskets at him
and they were just about
to shoot him...
and he knows he's gonna be dead
in a minute...
and he just defiantly
sings a song against them.
And what he sings is,
"Little mother, two by two,
wafts the wind on my hair."
I truly like that.
- What are they doing?
- I don't know.
Come here. Come here.
See, from here
I can see all the way across
the whole New York City,
almost across to Los Angeles.
It's a big town, baby!
I can see practically from here
to the other side of America.
I can see right over
to the west coast.
I can see right over from
the east coast to the west coast.
Oh, man! Thanks, man,
for telling me.
There's no paper
in this thing.
No, you've got paper.
It's in the plastic bottom.
It's full.
It's full.
- That sounded like it's moving.
- I'm trying to make it move.
I think we need that guy
from the office.
You'd better wash your hands.
You'd better be
wearing shoes.
I'm wearing shoes,
let me tell you.
You can't wear these
in here.
- What size?
- Huh?
- What size?
- Uh, seven.
It's a heavy one.
Can you hold it?
You've got a heavy one.
This one's lighter.
You got it!
You got it!
Get back from the line.
Back from the line, man.
You cheated.
You cheated already!
Behind the line.
- Go for it.
- Can I have some respect, my man?
Yeah! Yeah!
That's it.
Good boy.
Don't scream.
I don't want you to scream.
This is it.
Come on, keep still.
Don't shift around.
Come on.
Be a man.
Be a man and quit that
moody brooding.
- Quit that.
- It's too cold.
- Come over here.
- Stop!
Stop it.
Dad!
Come on, be a man.
It might even
seep through your skin,
and you'll put on
some weight.
Shut up.
Come on, you don't
talk like this.
- Shut up.
- You don't talk like this.
Just be a man.
Go down-- squat down.
Here.
Okay, come here.
Come here.
I don't want this escaping.
Just-- all this moody brooding,
I just don't like that.
Down, down.
Raise your arm.
Come closer to me,
and don't be a coward.
I don't want a coward
in the family.
Come here.
- You want me to win?
- Yes, I want you to win.
And don't be a coward.
Don't be a--
My son is not
gonna be a coward.
Stop it!
Stop!
That is gonna put
some weight on you.
Stop that shivering.
I don't want you
to shiver like that.
Don't shiver.
You're a man.
Okay?
Don't shiver like that.
You're gonna be a winner.
Just don't shiver.
A winner doesn't shiver.
Fuck!
I can't ever fucking win!
I'm gonna be a winner!
I'm gonna fucking be a winner!
I'm tired of fucking losing.
Lamb of God...
You take away
the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.
Lamb of God...
You take away
the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.
Lamb of God...
You take away
the sins of the world,
Grant us peace.
Lean on Jesus,
Lean on Jesus,
Leaning on
the everlasting love.
Leaning on
the everlasting love.
That's cute.
That's too dirty.
How much are the onesies?
- Two for a dollar.
- Two for a dollar.
I'm looking for
more newborn stuff.
- Did you look on the table?
- There's bigger--
There's no real infant
clothes on the table.
It's mostly in boxes.
I don't know what I'm gonna have,
so I have to get,
you know, both.
I think it might be
a boy, though.
- First one?
- I think it might be a boy.
- First one?
- Yeah.
You'll be blessed, then.
I might have seen
a teeny weenie on the sonogram.
Yeah, well, that means
you're blessed.
- First baby.
- My first baby.
They say your womb is blessed
when you have a boy first.
- Really?
- Yeah.
That's kind of sexist,
don't you think?
I don't know. They say,
"First a boy, second a girl."
The girls come in after
the boys, you know that.
Do you have 25c?
No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
- Here you go. Good luck.
- Thank you.
Thank you very much.
How are you doing?
So now I'm gonna do
an internal on you, okay?
Okay.
You're gonna feel some jelly.
It's a little cold.
Just try to relax.
You'll feel my fingers, okay?
- Are you all right?
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, everything feels good...
Getting big.
Head is down.
Okay.
Good.
All right, you can put
your legs together.
- Who's the father?
- Father?
Why is the wind blind?
The wind is blind.
The wind's actually blind.
'Cause...
'cause the wind's a breeze.
The breeze's a zephyr. The zephyr's
a yarn, a yarn is a tale.
I can't get over it.
I can't get over it.
I can't get--
I can't get over it.
You know what I mean?
I like hers as well.
I like hers as well.
LAPD, NYPD, NYPD...
If you make the hill
go downhill,
it's gonna be a lot easier.
You make it go downhill.
It's gonna be much easier.
The hill's going up.
Mostly the hill goes up.
You get a hill
that goes downhill,
gonna be much, much easier.
All the way, Hosanna Bay...
Excuse me? Excuse me?
Do you know my family tree?
Is my family tree this tree,
or that tree?
- I don't know.
- I had a family in my tree--
I got one--
to the other tree.
It's hard to tell.
It's hard to tell.
One way you are,
the other way you are.
The only way is the NYPD.
Don't want to argue with the NYPD.
LAPD, NYPD.
I love the NYPD.
My friends and my brother.
My friends and my brother.
You do not know
what you are asking.
Can you drink of the cup
I am to drink of?
Jesus...
then said...
'You know how those
who exercise authority--'"
God is looking on me
with disgust.
Jesus has been seeing me.
He thinks that
I should not be...
a member of the church
community any longer,
and I just feel
very difficult.
But those sentiments
aren't from God,
nor from Christ.
And it flies in the face
of all that we've been taught
about God and the ministry
of God and Jesus.
The Father
is compassionate,
and His rain falls upon
the just and the unjust.
His sun shines upon the good
and the wicked,
because that's how He is.
God is good, and God is love.
There's no room in God
for looking upon
a child of His with disgust,
or wanting to cast him out
from the body of Christ
or something like that.
So these are thoughts
that we can impose on ourselves,
or actually the power
of darkness can,
as it were,
whisper them in our ear.
But I really have to say to you
that they're not from God.
Have you ever done
counseling with anybody,
or therapy with anybody?
Or psychotherapy?
No, I haven't.
We have a counseling center
I'll give you that, all right?
I give that to you because there
are names and phone numbers there.
They can be helpful
for a phone conversation,
or just to come in one time
and have a talk,
you know,
this kind of thing.
But there's no reason
for a young man like yourself
to think that being
either anxious or stressful
is an untreatable situation.
- Thank you very much.
- All right.
I'll give you a blessing
before you go.
- All right?
- Thank you, Father.
- Very good.
- Thank you very much.
Sometimes I get
sinful thoughts.
My mom told me
when I was six years old,
that all I have to do
is grab the energy.
I don't have the strength.
I don't have the body.
I have to have the energy.
I grab the stake,
and that's it.
- Look at her.
- She's got the energy.
Yeah, yeah,
but it's backwards.
Is it a Rittberger?
I don't know what it is.
Who cares what it is?
Look at her do that. See?
- That is not gonna be an ace.
- Wanna bet?
There it is again.
You're are cheating.
You are cheating all the time.
- What?
- You're cheating all the time.
What?
Cards up my sleeve?
I don't think so.
You're hiding
the aces somewhere.
I wouldn't say
up your sleeves.
No sleeves.
See? No sleeves.
But the aces are there.
It's true.
I'll tell you what,
it's as simple as that...
When you're born different,
stuff happens.
Some stuff's good,
some stuff's bad.
For me,
it worked out.
Not an ace again.
There won't be an ace again.
Sure you don't want to bet
any money on this?
There it is again.
Anything's possible.
It's magic.
It's these magic toes.
She's got magic toes, too,
but hers are in skates.
How do you do that?
I told you,
I learned it as a kid.
It was my equalizer.
If you're born without arms,
You learn to use your feet.
That's the physical part.
The rest, that's where
you learn.
It's the attitude.
Look, she's got attitude, too.
You come over here
and pout about your world,
and I'm telling you, you have
to adopt a positive attitude.
It's not like those people on TV
that sell you stuff, it's real life.
It's like the ace
that keeps coming up.
We're not on TV,
we're real life.
Grab it!
Grab it and shut up!
Top one?
The top one?
It could be any one.
It could be in the middle.
It could be anywhere.
It's on top.
There it is again.
Attitude.
Positive thinking--
I know it sounds like crap,
but it works for me.
- You're a cheater.
- You're my friend.
I don't do to hurt you,
I do it to show you a lesson,
to help you learn, buddy.
Come on, Chris.
Why don't you take
this dress?
What you want me
to do with it?
- It belonged to your mom.
- Yeah?
She wore it
when we got married.
Why don't you put it on?
It's very nice.
You're the only one
who looks like your mother.
Show me the other one.
It's a summer dress.
Just put it on, Chris.
Just put it on...
and dance with me.
No.
Since your mother left,
I've never danced.
I'm gonna give you $10.
No.
Come on.
That's a lot of money.
As much as a guy
earns in Bangladesh
for a whole month.
Working in the field,
he earns that much.
It's a lot of money.
A whole family lives on that.
Come on, Chris.
Hey!
Captured! Stop!
Stay! Stop!
Captured!
Stop moving!
Shut up!
It wasn't me.
You're a dead man, sonny.
Don't ever come back.
Don't ever come back.
Like in 1980, when you come back.
You ate like a cancer.
You fucking--
you killed the Jews,
you killed the hippies.
You killed all
the mother's titties.
You're a fucking cancer.
You come back in the 1980s
dressed as a sheriff.
You're here in my bedroom!
Motherfuckin' bedroom wall!
What you doing?
What you doing?
Answer me! Answer me!
Answer! Answer! Answer!
Don't you move!
Don't you move!
Sit down have a cup of tea.
I'm only joking.
Come on in.
Meet my friends.
Hey, this is Julien.
King Julien.
Hey, Julien.
How are you doing, King Julien?
Hey, my good friend,
how are ya doing?
This is Adolf.
Adolf.
He ate my mother's titties,
but hey, he's a friend.
He's a friend.
He's a good friend of the family.
He ate my mother's titties.
Come in.
Come in, Adolf.
Julien?
King Julien?
Yes, sir.
What is it you want
with me?
I want you to make this man
a guest in your own home,
and make him feel
like he can use a place--
and don't feed him to Mommy.
Don't feed him to grandmother.
Don't feed him to Joyce.
Okay. I promise.
Okay.
So, Adolf,
sit down.
Now, one of the things
we want to get clear in here
is, at which point did you
come into the Bible,
and at which point
did you leave?
Because in the New Testament,
it says
that you came into the Bible
and met with some of the disciples
at just before
the Feast of Steven.
And it stated that you--
you took--
you turned your left cheek to one
of the disciples and said,
"Never hit me
on my left side,
because if you hit me
on my left side, it hurts."
Anyway, that's all
I wanted to ask.
Anyway, while I make
your acquaintance,
I'd just like to point out
a few things.
When you want
to come in this house,
you've got to--
you've got to--
you've got to stay with me
at all times,
and not upset anyone else
in my family,
because they don't know
that I consort with known Nazis.
That's all.
It's my only condition,
so be at peace.
Another hard day
in the jungle.
Another hard day at the zoo.
Another hard day
at the jungle.
Another hard day at the zoo.
Punky.
Punky. Come on.
Come on, hurry up.
Come on, angel.
Come on.
Go down.
Go down. Go down.
You don't come?
Okay, bye bye.
Come on.
Come on. Here.
Come on, Punky.
Here!
Punky! Punky!
Okay, bye bye.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on this time.
Come on. Hurry up.
Come on.
Come on!
Right away!
Stupid fucking trash can.
I'll fucking--
Number one-- I don't want all
this plastic in my garden.
Do you feel like a winner?
Plastic, plastic, plastic.
I was just playing.
Yeah, but that's not
an opponent.
You've got to be tougher.
Real tough.
You've got to out-gut them,
out-tough them,
outwrestle them.
Outplastic them.
You should be a winner.
There's no winner
around in the house.
I am a winner.
I am a winner!
Here is the subject
of the essay.
Make sure you've marked...
Dance for me!
Yeah!
Oh, I love that!
Oh, yeah!
Well, see, I've got a problem,
Anthony, in my left eye.
I don't even know what you call
the vision in the left eye.
It's not shadows,
it's not anything.
It's just like--
imagine looking through...
a futon plastic bag.
That's how my sight is.
It's really weird.
But I thank God
that I'm healthy--
I can walk--
I pray at night.
Do you ever think,
why God did that?
Why God let it happen?
No.
But there's no reason why
He can't fix it.
No.
The future has a lot of things
in store for us,
for these young
blind people.
God gave me
the intelligence.
My parents-- my grandparents
on both sides are ministers,
and we always argue
about God,
because I don't really believe
in church at all.
I don't--
I don't necessarily believe
that anybody can tell you
how to relate to God.
Nobody can tell you.
It's all up to you.
- He tells you.
- Yeah, that's right.
He tells you.
All he says is,
"Live just, live right,
follow these commandments
and you'll be--"
"Live honestly,"
He says. "Be honest.
Be honest about
who you are."
I say,
when I talk to him,
I've got to thank him
for the day,
'cause I live day by day.
Jesus said in the Bible...
"Cursed be he
who obstructs a blind man--
who obstructs
a blind man's path--
who puts an obstacle
in the path of a blind man."
"Cursed be he who puts an obstacle
in the path of a blind man,
and cursed is he
who sleeps with his sister."
"Cursed be he who sleeps
with his sister."
You know what you were saying
about the commandments?
No, but,
he also says that,
"Present yourself honestly--"
"Present yourself honestly
about who you are,
because if you don't, I'm gonna
make things really bad for you."
"Once upon a time,
there was a young man..."
Yeah.
"For your mind.
Dedicated."
"Victor's a nice man.
Yeah."
"Go, Victor.
Go, Julien."
- "Go, James..."
- Yeah.
"I'm a black albino
straight from Alabama,
way down south."
"You know, I'm a black albino,
straight from Alabama
way down south."
"Then you know
that I'm a black albino,
straight from Alabama.
Yeah."
"Check it out.
Well, salutations from Polk,
it's the up above.
There's no mistaking about the name,
- because it couldn't be..."
- Yeah!
All right! All right!
"...black albino,
straight from Alabama..."
- Go, James!
- "...way down south.
Then you know
that I'm a black albino
straight from Alabama,
way down south.
Then you know
that I'm a black albino
straight from Alabama,
way down south.
Then you know
that I'm a black albino
straight from Alabama.
You've got to be smooth.
Oh-- smooth!
What does it mean?
I feel just like the E.F. Hutton
of the hip-hop scene.
I can kick a rhyme
other MCs might miss,
and it goes a little something
like this--
Hit it-- a long time ago,
I couldn't even flow,
you know? I had an Afro,
and I rapped slow.
But I took a look
inside a book,
to find my nook in society.
I'm tired of my piety.
The plan, understand,
was to become the grand man
on the rap stand, and dish out
my own brand of justice,
'cause it seems
that when I bust this,
people gather 'round
and say, "Aw nuts!"
This Polky bust rhymes
the public never heard before.
The suckers bag the mike
and start heading for the door.
...then you know
it's a black albino
straight from Alabama,
way down south.
Then you know
that I'm a black albino
straight from Alabama,
way down south..."
Go, Franklin!
Yeah!
Back in the 50s, they had this
world championship
of talking birds.
And they sent all these parrots
and beals--
it's a starling type of bird
from Borneo--
and boy, do they speak well.
But the championship back then
was won by a parakeet,
a little parakeet.
And the parakeet would say,
"Birds are smart,
but they can not speak."
and that really made him
Boy, was that bird good.
You can still buy a record which
repeats and repeats his sentence,
"Birds are smart,
but they cannot speak."
and you can teach your own bird.
Maybe even dogs
are gonna talk one day.
When we were kids arriving
at the breakfast table,
we had to say a poem
and it went like this...
"...Schlup, schlup, schlup,
milch ist gut..."
Then we were allowed to have
our cereal
and coffee and whatever
there was.
He loves me,
he loves me not.
He loves me,
he loves me not.
He loves me...
He loves me not.
He loves me,
he loves me not.
He loves me,
he loves me not.
He loves me,
he loves me not.
He loves me,
he loves me not.
The mailman loves me,
he loves me not.
The mailman loves me,
he loves me not.
The mailman loves me,
he loves me not.
I hate the mailman!
- Hello?
- Mommy?
- Hello, Julien?
- Mommy!?
- Hi!
- Hi, Mommy.
- Hi!
- Mommy.
I can call you "Mother"?
- Mom?
- Yes?
- Hi.
- Hi, Julien.
- Hi, Mom.
- How are you?
I'm doing real good, Mom.
I'm fine.
I'm a lot better now.
Are you a dietitian, still,
or are you a waitress?
No, no.
I'm neither one now.
Okay. I know.
You're a cop.
A traffic cop.
Like a female police officer
of the law.
No. No.
I'm a dentist now.
I fix people's teeth
when they're in pain.
Uh-huh.
What do you do to dentist?
Did you go to law school?
No, I'm just a basic
general dental practitioner.
People come to see me
when they have, you know,
mouth pain or different
sorts of ailments,
and different sorts
of gum diseases.
Are you going to participate
in any plastic surgery there?
No, sometimes when people
smoke too frequently
their teeth get dirty
and me and my staff
will whiten them
with special dental tools.
What about my teeth, Mom?
I got--
I got gold fronts.
Chris got me
some gold fronts.
My baby brother got me some
gold fronts for my birthday.
That was very nice of him.
Yeah. I can eat through
apples and table tops.
I don't believe you.
I love you, Mom.
I miss you, Mom.
I wish you were still here.
Like when I was
a little baby, Mom.
Yeah.
I love you too, Julien.
And I'm watching you.
All those voices you're hearing,
those are just friendly voices.
No one's out to get you.
No one wants to hurt you.
Right?
Julien?
I wish you were
still here, Mom,
like when I was six,
when I was six you sang me
"Frere Jacques."
"Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques,
dormez vous? "
When I was six,
Pearl was four.
Chris was just
a little baby, Mom.
Remember Chris was just
a little baby?
He killed you
in the hospital.
When they took you away
in the hospital
and they killed you dead.
Remember, Mom?
Chris was just
a little baby boy.
How are your teeth, Julien?
- They're okay.
- Are you brushing daily?
Remember to brush in the crevices,
and in between the teeth,
because that's where
the majority of cavities arrive.
And then floss weekly,
at least,
the minimum you must floss
is once a week.
I promise. I will, I will.
I promise, Mom.
I'll floss like
when you were still alive,
when you were
still in the house.
I'll floss like I did
before you were dead, Mom.
I'll floss like that.
I promise.
Okay, I've got to go.
I got to go.
I love you, Mom.
I really love you.
I love you, too.
I love you, too.
You're my best friend.
You're my best friend, okay?
- Okay. I love you too, Julien.
- I love you too, Mom.
Take good care of your teeth
and you'll always be a happy person.
Okay, Julien?
Bye.
- Mom?
- Yes?
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye.
I love you. Bye.
This is gonna be
the world-famous ground flip.
Pearl, Pearl, Pearl.
I got a--
I got a--
I got a poem.
You want to hear it?
Yeah.
Daddy, can I read a poem?
Okay.
"Midnight chaos...
Eternity chaos...
Morning chaos,
eternity chaos,
noon chaos, eternity chaos,
evening chaos,
eternity chaos, midnight chaos,
eternity chaos,
morning chaos, eternity chaos,
noon chaos--
evening chaos,
eternity chaos,
midnight chaos,
eternity chaos...
morning chaos,
eternity chaos,
noon chaos,
eternity chaos,
evening chaos,
eternity chaos...
midnight chaos,
eternity chaos,
noon chaos, eternity chaos,
evening chaos, eternity chaos..."
Julien, cut it out.
"Morning chaos, eternity chaos..."
You're repeating "Chaos, chaos."
It doesn't even rhyme.
- It rhyme with chaos.
- Oh, come on.
Come on, stop that.
That's not a poem.
I'm not finished.
- "Midnight--"
- What kind of poem is that?
It doesn't even rhyme.
You repeat "Chaos, chaos."
It doesn't even rhyme.
- How about that?
- "Midnight..."
Shut up. Shut up.
I don't like it because
it's so artsy-fartsy.
You see, I like
the real stuff.
I like something like, uh,
the end of "Dirty Harry."
I saw this "Dirty Harry,"
and the end is really--
a terrific showdown.
What?
There was this
tremendous shoot out.
You should better listen.
Just listen.
Grandmama, listen.
Just listen.
There was this shoot out.
Dirty Harry has
this bad guy cornered.
I mean, he was
a real bad guy,
and there's this
tremendous shoot out.
They're really exchanging
lots of fire.
They're shooting bullets
at each other
and they keep missing.
At the end the bad guy
somehow drops his gun.
It's just down there
on the bottom.
Harry hovers over him,
and now Harry, he is really
full of contempt.
Harry's standing there,
he's totally full of contempt,
and he says to him,
"We've wasted many of our bullets.
Do you think there's still
a bullet left in your gun? "
and he says to him,
"You know, now you've got
to ask yourself a question:
'Do I feel lucky?'"
At that moment, the bad guy
lunges for his gun,
raises it
and it goes, "click."
He hasn't got a bullet left.
And Harry blasts him away.
He blasts him into a river.
He knocks him off the feet
and blasts him away.
You see,
that's good stuff.
I truly like that.
I don't like
the artsy-fartsy thing.
I think I hated his poem.
Now, Chris I'd like
to see you do that.
You see, it's all balance.
I'd like to see that.
You're really balancing.
I mean, in the balance.
in the balance.
You know what I had to do
when I was a ski jumper
when I was your age?
We had a real, real
mean nasty trick to do.
We put a cigarette
on the ground--
just like that--
and a glass of water.
You just gotta step
on this glass,
and you have to pick it up,
you have to balance.
You have to pick it up
with your mouth without falling.
It's really a tough one.
- You can do it?
- I don't think I can anymore,
but you should be able
to do it.
It's all balance.
Argh!
Could you ever do it?
Yeah, it was difficult,
but I could do it.
You see, I really wanted
to be a champion.
I really wanted
to be good.
He's going to do it,
Grandmama.
Yeah, that's it.
All right.
All right.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
That's good.
You're gonna do it.
In two or three weeks,
you're gonna do that.
I just did it.
Yeah, but you fell.
You see you've got to
raise up again,
and smoke the cigarette.
That's a proud man who smokes
a cigarette like that.
- I don't smoke.
- You'll learn it.
All right.
All right.
"My bonnie...
lies over the ocean."
Everybody know that one?
"My bonnie lies over the ocean,
my bonnie lies
over the sea,
my bonnie lies
over the ocean,
oh, bring
my poor bonnie to me.
Bring back,
bring back,
bring back my bonnie
to me..."
That's my son up there!
"My bonnie lies over
the ocean,
but my bonnie doesn't lie
over me!"
Let's party!
It's a great act
for blind people.
My first wife
did that.
Not with cigarettes, though.
What else
you got, man?
Get him out of here!
Get him out of here!
Well, that's it.
Thank you very much.
Amen!
A-woman!
All right!
"Amen...
Amen,
Amen, Amen, Amen
Amen...
Amen,
Amen, Amen, Amen
See the baby Jesus,
Lying in the manger
Amen,
Amen, Amen, Amen..."
The words are easy.
"Amen..." Amen!
"Amen,
Amen,
Amen, Amen."
"We don't need no music
We don't need no music
We don't need no music
We don't need no music."
"I feel good--
nah-na, nah-na, nah-na--
I knew that I would--
nah-na, nah-na, nah-na
I feel good--
nah-na, nah-na, nah-na
I knew that I would..."
That's funny.
"So good--
so good--
I've got you.
I feel nice--
nah-na, nah-na, nah-na
like sugar and spice--
nah-na, nah-na, nah-na..."
That's my favorite song.
I love that song.
What song?
That song--
"Nah-na, nah-na, nah.
I feel Tosh--"
That's a really
good song.
I think one day
when my feet break apart,
I'm gonna need new feet.
I'm gonna have to sew
these feet back on.
I met a man that was made of clay,
like me, and he said,
"If you want to have
clay feet,
you've got to listen
to clay tapes."
Stop! That tickles!
I'm sorry.
You don't have to be sorry.
It feels good.
Does this tickle,
with my brush?
Yes.
All my boyfriends are dead,
and you're gonna die too--
maybe you too, Julien.
I died before, you know.
I died before.
I'm gonna die before I die.
I'm gonna make
a high dive,
and then as soon
as I land in the water,
I'm gonna die.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna dive
from the 2,000 meter board,
and then I'm gonna fall
and fall and fall,
until I fall in the water,
and then I'm gonna die.
Lillian, David, Sylvia,
Simon, Casey,
Sasha, Scott, Joshua,
Jezebel, Harold, Harry,
Caroline, Sarah, Sylvia,
Simon, Lewis, Michael,
Walter, Brendan, Olivia,
Ethan, Eleanor,
Gloria, or Ellen.
Those are my favorites...
so far.
Do it seriously, Chris.
Serious.
What sort of outfit is that?
Come on, this is ridiculous.
This is a bikini.
This is not a real outfit.
- Get serious.
- Papa, Papa, Papa.
Julien, the jammin' jabber.
Julien, the jammin' jabber.
Julien, get serious.
Give it some rest.
Stay in your corner.
Chris, you get
in your corner.
I'm gonna start
the match now.
I want him
to wrestle for real.
He's gonna wrestle for real.
You're gonna wrestle for real?
- You ready?
- Chris, what's your name?
What's your wrestling name?
- Chris.
- No, we have to have a name.
like a costume
and a name.
"Julien the jammin' jabber"!
"Julien the jammin' jabber"!
It's real wrestling.
My name's Chris.
- It's real wrestling.
- Okay. All right.
In the center of the ring, Julien.
In the center of the ring.
- That's it. Get serious.
- And shake. Let's shake.
No, no, no.
Shake hands.
- Shake hands.
- You be serious.
I'm referee.
I'm gonna watch them.
- Be serious.
- I know, I know.
You ready for the fight?
Are you ready?
One...
Ready?
One...
two...
three, wrestle!
Come on.
- Bring it on.
- Take it serious.
- Fucking wrestle me, man.
- Okay, okay.
Grab him.
Get him to the ground.
Come on, Julien.
Julien, the jammin' jabber.
Get into the fight.
Oh, it looks like
he's got him!
They're going down!
Oh, he's got him!
The referee doesn't get
so frantic.
Come on, Chris!
Get his--
get his shoulders down!
Come on, Julien.
You have to fight harder!
Come on!
"Julien, the jabbin' jabber"!
Get serious.
Get serious.
Fight back, Julien!
Fight back! Come on!
Julien, the jabbin' jabber!
Bring it on!
Bring it on!
Take it serious.
Julien, fight back!
Fight back, Julien.
Come on.
Fight back!
Come on.
Fucking fight back.
You're out.
One...
two...
he's up again.
I love you, Chris.
I love you, Chris.
No!
Fucking wrestle me!
What's going on there?
What sort of shit
is that?
Cut it out!
Take it seriously!
God-fucking-damn it!
Disqualified for
bad behavior.
I'm never gonna wear
that again!
I'm never gonna wear
that again!
I found it--
I found it very shitty.
Chris!
I'm sorry.
Chris, Chris.
Okay, okay!
I won't--
I won't,
I won't hit you.
I don't want
to hurt you, Chris.
I don't want
to hurt you like--
I don't want
to hurt you like--
put you in the hospital...
like...
Fucking act fucking normal
for a second,
and fucking
take it seriously!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry...
Thanks.
Excuse me, miss.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Don't you want to go
to that great city
over there,
where the sun
don't ever go down?
Over there,
where every day,
is a day,
of jubilee,
where we will sing...
There may be one
that's out of the ark
of safety.
If you're here,
we invite you to come.
The spirit said, "Come."
And whosoever will,"
He said, "Let it come."
If you come...
I heard,
Jesus said,
"I will in no wise--"
He will in no wise
cast you out.
Come to him right now,
while you still have a chance.
If you are here today.
There is no forgiveness of sins--
Amen--
and so by the blood of Jesus,
Amen-- we are forgiven
for our sins. Amen.
So I come to tell you today
that, uh...
that the blood
of Jesus Christ
Amen-- cleansed us from all
of our sins.
Thank God for Jesus.
We all are forgiven,
by that same blood.
And I'm glad today,
beloved,
because when I have
done wrong,
and when my sins
catch up with me,
Jesus, Amen,
when the Lord looks at me,
he don't see me,
but he sees the blood of Jesus.
And when Jesus died
on the cross,
God was dying on the cross.
For God was in Christ Jesus,
reconciling the world
unto himself.
And I'm glad to know
that I'm justified.
I've been set free...
Amen--
because of the blood
of Jesus.
Not because of what
I have done,
but because of what
He has done.
And I'm glad to know
that Jesus paid the price.
He ransomed us from
the very gates of hell.
I don't know about you,
but I'm glad
that I've been washed
in his blood.
I'm glad to know
that I've been redeemed
by the blood of the Lamb.
His blood has made
my spirit clean,
and His blood has wrote
my name above.
I don't know about you,
but I was a sinner one day,
but I'm glad that I plunged
in that fountain,
Amen, and I've been set
free today.
And I don't know about you,
but I'm glad
that we can sing this song,
"What can wash away my sins? "
We have heard
from heaven today.
The Lord has stopped by
and visited us.
You know, I'm so glad
of one thing,
as we get ready to go...
Amen, I feel good...
I know that can't nobody,
do me like Jesus.
If you don't mind,
we're gonna do just a little bit
of that great song,
and we'll be on our way home.
"Can't nobody...
do me like Jesus,
Can't nobody
do me like the Lord
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
He's my friend."
Yeah!
"Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
Can't nobody
do me like the Lord
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
He's my friend.
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
Can't nobody
do me like the Lord
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
He's my friend."
Yeah.
"Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus..."
"Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus.
Nobody, nobody.
Nobody, nobody.
I said,
nobody, nobody.
Nobody, nobody...
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus,
Can't nobody
do me like Jesus..."
"Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
No, no, no, no, no,
nobody
No, no, no, no, no,
nobody..."
Julien...
why don't you tell your sister
that she's a dilettante?
She's never gonna learn
to play this harp.
She's a dilettante
and she's a slut.
You're a dila--
and a slut.
You're never gonna learn
to play the harp.
I just can't stand this
any longer!
I can't stand this
any longer.
I might accidentally
step on this here.
Come on, don't try
to defend your sister.
You'll just look stupid.
- I'm back.
- You're just stupid!
You look so stupid.
You look utterly
and completely
and irrevocably stupid.
You look so stupid.
If I were so stupid,
I would slap
my own face.
Well, I'm not stupid
like that.
I'm not even stupid
like that.
- Tell him to slap his face.
- No.
- Slap his face.
- No, Julien, relax.
Don't pay
any attention to him.
I ain't gotta be stupid
like that.
Slap your face.
Slap your face.
I ain't gonna be stupid
like that.
Tell him
to slap his face!
Slap your face.
You should slap your face!
You might even wake up.
- Just slap your face.
- No.
If I were as stupid,
I would slap my own face.
Just tell him
to slap his own face.
Why don't you tell him
to slap his own face?
Just slap your face.
Just slap your face.
I'll turn my back.
I'll turn my back and he's
gonna start to slap his face.
You're gonna do it,
because he will wake up.
Slap your face!
- Slap my face?
- Slap your face!
- Like this?
- Yeah.
Tell him
to slap it harder.
Tell him
to slap it harder.
I can't.
It really hurts.
- Slap it harder.
- I can't, it really hurts.
You'll become
more intelligent.
Can it hurt me, Pop?
Can it hurt me, Pop?
Yeah.
Why don't you lie down--
why don't you lie down
and keep on slapping
your face?
Just keep on
slapping your face.
And you take
this fucking harp--
slap your face!
Tell him to slap
his face.
You sing the song--
shut up,
sing the song.
You pluck this fucking thing
and you slap your face.
I just can't take it
any longer.
I just cannot
take it any longer.
Can it hurt me, Pop?
Can it hurt me?
Just sing the song.
Just sing, sing--
just sing the song.
- Can it hurt me...?
- Come on. Stop.
- Come on, sing the song.
- Can it hurt me?
Can it hurt me, Pop?
Just can't stand it.
I just can't take it.
- Can it hurt me, Pop?
- Stop it!
Can it hurt me, Pop? !
Shhh!
Shhh!
"An eye for an eye.
Blood for blood.
Eye for an eye,
tooth for tooth.
Hand for hand,
foot for foot.
The son kills the father,
and collects his blood."
Shhh!
Sorry. They're stupid,
little pieces of crap,
that are glued together.
If you fall with them,
you'll die.
No, no, no.
You're not gonna die.
Because these are the two
safest things in the world.
You've got double blade
technology from ice skating.
You've got the safest thing
in the world, a flip-flop.
I glued them together.
You've got something really secure.
And you've got shoes
you can wear in the house,
you've got shoes
you can wear in the park,
shoes you can wear
on the ice rink.
- It's getting big.
- Your baby's due in two months?
In two months' time
it's due.
How do you think the future
for the baby looks?
- Bright.
- Bright?
- Bright as the sun.
- Whoa.
How come everybody comes out of
their mother's stomach as a baby?
Because they have to be
so small to fit in there.
There's not
a lot of room.
They can't just come out
as 11 or 12 year olds,
'cause then it would be
really, really big,
and so painful.
Could you imagine?
That would be horrible.
and your ice cream.
Five bucks a shoe,
and the ice cream.
a dime for those.
You know...
I could make those myself.
I'd just take one of my sandals
and put two blades on top.
You think those are actually
gonna make you stand up?
Just leave me alone.
I don't want them.
Okay? Period.
I don't want them.
Ricky, Ricky, Ricky...
you gotta trust me.
Once you wear
my flippy-flips--
You're getting
on my nerves.
If you don't want to stop,
then I'm gonna have to
curse you out in Yiddish, okay?
You know what I used
to think?
I used to think
that I could see a lot,
but I found out
that I couldn't see very much,
that my vision
was almost slim to none.
I thought I could
almost see totally.
So if nobody ever told you,
you would have never known.
No.
I thought I could really see--
almost normal sight,
but, I found out
I'm not even close.
If you don't
leave me alone,
I'm gonna smear this
all over your face.
- Can I get a little bit?
- No, you're not gonna have it.
You're not gonna
have it, period.
Not even-- if you leave me alone,
I'll throw it on the floor,
and I'll let you lick it
off the floor.
Sometimes I wish
I was deaf.
- Why?
- I don't know.
The world is just
too loud.
How about you go home,
and go to the bathroom,
head in the toilet,
and then eat the shit?
I can glide like this.
No, no, no.
Why not?
It's fun.
Slow down.
Slow down, Chrissy.
I've got you.
Trust me.
Let's not go crazy here.
We can still have fun.
We can still have fun,
but I don't want to go fast.
You maybe need a better skater
when you try your tricks.
Oh, no, my skate's undone.
My lace is undone,
we have to go to the wall.
We don't want you
tripping and falling.
No, don't go too fast.
I'm way behind you here.
Hey, these girls
are really good.
Maybe one of them
will skate with you.
Do you want to skate
with one of these girls?
Yes.
This is really good.
- Are you having fun?
- Yes.
Good. Feeling the wind
in your hair?
Fire! Fire!
Get her in
carefully, now.
How are you feeling, ma'am?
Where does it hurt?
Show me with one finger
where it hurts.
- Right there.
- Okay.
What's the story here?
Okay.
Was there any bleeding?
Any hemorrhage?
- No, not that I know of.
- Okay.
- Help me, help me.
- You're gonna be okay.
Just try and relax.
Blood pressure in the field
was stable.
Patient at 1601.
Excuse me, miss?
Do you think I could possibly
see the baby for a moment?
Oh, I'm sorry,
the baby's dead.
I understand,
I understand, but...
It's my baby.
I'd just like--
can I just hold him
before you put the baby away?
Can I just hold the baby?
Sewanee Avenue.
Hill Avenue.
Richfield.
...Avenue... Doris...
Transfer--
Transfer--
Avenue--
Doris...
Richfield--