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Jumbo (2019)
- Accommodate, A-
C- C-O-M-M-O-D-A-T-E, Accommodate. - Wow, you nailed it, Jumbo, correct. - I could've sworn there was another A in there somewhere. Okay, smartytrunk, try this one, rhythm. Rhythm, hmm. R- H-Y-T-H-M, rhythm. Right again. - Geez, that's some kind of brain you have in that noggin of yours, Jumbo. Where on earth did you learn those words? - Yeah, where'd you even hear them? Jungle elephants aren't exactly known for their verbose delivery. - True that, heck, nobody in this jungle's really famous for their smarts. Cunning, yes, savagery, yes. But brainpower, nah, not so much. You're a real standout, buddy. Oh, thanks a bunch you guys. It's true, folks around here don't talk like that. So I didn't hear those words anyplace, I read them. - You read 'em? - You read 'em? Yeah, I read them. I studied the dictionary. - The dictionary, that big book with all the words? That's the one, Weldon. I almost got the whole thing memorized front to back, and back to front. - Whoa, now that's dedication, crazy dedication. Nah, I just love learning. It's so fun to find new and different facts, and stuff you never knew about before. - Hmm, that does sound kind of fun. Oh, you'd be surprised. Tiny, tell you what, go ahead, throw me a word, any word. I'll spell what comes after it in the dictionary. What comes after it, you mean, one simple word can connect your brain with the words next to it? Totally, Weldon. You'd be straight-up surprised at the power we possess in these little brains of ours. Well, I mean look at you. You're an elephant, your head's huge. Gee, thanks buddy. - No, I mean the brain in there has to be five times the size of mine. 10 times. - Okay, let's not get carried away, Tiny. My point is some animals have a natural leg up at this sort of thing, so to speak. Or a wing up. Or a wing up, but listen, you ever hear the term birdbrain? They don't say that about elephants. Nuh uh, they say, he's got a memory like an elephant, because elephants are gigantic. And a bigger skull means a bigger brain, and a bigger brain means more ability to retain stuff and a higher capacity to memorize and learn. - Memorizing and learning are actually two different things, Weldon. Any monkey can memorize. Semantics. Hey, there we go, semantics. Okay, hotshot, tell me the word that comes after semantics. And spell it, too. Sure, it's semantogenic. Uh, what? - Semantogenic, it means rising from impairment in the use of language. - And? - And, S- E-M-A-N-T-O-G-E-N-I-C, semantogenic. Unbelievable, he never misses. - As far as we know, we don't have a dictionary in front of us. He could be fibbing, pulling our feathers, or tails. - Weldon, I think it's safe to say Jumbo's never knowingly told a lie in his whole life. His whole life, he's 62. - And he's the nicest, friendliest, most honest and inquisitive animal in our entire jungle. Aw, thanks Tiny. Eh, you're right, sorry Jumbo. You're a shoo-in to win that spelling bee. I don't know why the rest of us even try. You're the smartest animal we know in this whole darned jungle. - Oh stop, and just like any one of us, I can make mistakes, I'm not perfect. I forget stuff all the time, too. You do? Of course I do. Sometimes, if I'm tired, or hungry, or irritated, I can mess up spelling my own name. - Ha, even a birdbrain can get that one. J- U-M-B-O, Jumbo. - Bert, do you have any idea how many big-money endorsements you can land with a sound victory in that silly jungle spelling bee next week? - Silly, but the jungle spelling bee's a big deal, Uncle Ron. Animals migrate from far and wide just to take part in it. Heck, I've been studying since I was a tadpole. - That's because you're a Hollis, Bert, dedicated, intelligent, ruthless. And smart, too. - Smart doesn't pay the bills, nephew. Aggression pays the bills. Ah, aggression, my favorite word, go. - Aggression, A- G-G-R-E-S-S-I-O-N, aggression. - It sounds like a cheerleader cheer. Every time I hear it, I envision a squad of female frogs in H sweaters, shouting and dancing in unison. Very good, Bert. True to your Hollis lineage, you never fail. Thanks, Uncle Ron. - Please, Bert, call me Mr. Hollis. The spelling bee is coming up fast and after you win, I'll be doing many interviews on your behalf, about your skills, your focus, your training, I don't want some silly gazelle in the press corps to shout out, Ronny, over here. Gotcha, will do, Mr. Hollis. - Remember, authority projects success, Bert, and success begets authority. Pick a word, go. Go, G-O, go. Bert, a bigger word, please, something a bit more convoluted. Yes, Mr. Hollis, convoluted, C- O-N-V-O-L-U-T-E-D, convoluted. - Excellent, nine-tenths of animals out there would flub that one. You're a lock to win it all, nephew, a legend in the making. Come now to my den. We'll run flashcards until sundown, then you'll hydrate and rest. - I got it under control Unc-, I mean, Mr. Hollis. Have you gotten a load of the animals that will competing in that contest? They're real dum-dums. Like you said, I'm a lock to win. I'm a Hollis, I can't lose. Careful nephew, careful. Confidence is an asset, for sure, but arrogance can easily work against us. Arrogance, schmarrogance. S- C-H-M-A-R-R-O-G-A-N-C-E, schmarrogance. - You remind me so much of myself as a younger frog, Bert. Thanks, Mr. Hollis. And to tell you the truth, I've always felt more kinship with you than with Pops. - Well, I don't know where your father came from, honestly. He must've been adopted. He certainly exhibits none of the traits of winning that you and I possess, Bert. - Pops is a loser, L- O-S-E-R, loser. He spends all day plucking flies from his old lily pad. And have you seen that thing lately? He hasn't washed it in years. - Yes, well, hygiene was never his strong suit. As tadpoles, we used to forage wild spinach on the lake banks, but your father would wait outside the pet store dumpster for the staff to discard their expired fish flakes. Oh no! - I'm afraid so, we'd all stuff our bellies full of organic goodies, and there your dad would be, hunkered down all day in an alley, munching on stale, smelly shrimp flakes. - Oh gag, I think I'm gonna be sick. - It's of no consequence now, Bert. - C-O-N-S-E-Q-U-E-N-C-E, consequence. Yes, yes, yes! - Wow, get a load of all the great species-specific snacks being offered at our jungle fair this year. It's absolutely out of this world. I know, right, yum. There's sprouts, jerky, grains, fruits, and falafel, too. - I haven't tried falafel, is it good? - Oh, it's the bee's knees, Weldon. Bee's knees, yuck. It's just a figure of speech. It means, good. The best. - The best would be some fresh worms. But I don't see a single annelid, nematode, platyhelminth, nemertean, chaetognatha, or priapulid anywhere. - Wow, who said you were birdbrained, Weldon? I don't know that I could spell a single one of those big words. And I definitely couldn't. - Oh, neither could I, I just know 'em by heart, and taste, of course. Worms are my most favorite snack ever. - We should tell the fair organizers that there are birds in attendance. I bet they'd bring in some yummy worms for you right away, buddy. - I'm just happy to be here, Tiny. I might try some of that falafel you guys were talking about. It smells delicious. - You can never go wrong with some toasty falafel, Weldon, trust me. - Okay, listen up, it's time for our annual spelling bee qualifying round contest. Alright you three, once you receive your word, there will be no talking, and you'll have exactly five seconds to begin your spelling. You will have one chance, and one chance only, to spell your word. No doublebacks and no do-overs. Be sure to speak slowly, clearly, concisely, and best of luck. Spike, you're up first. Uh, hi everybody. Your word is commiserate. - Commiserate, C- O- M-M-I-S-S-E-R-A-T-E, uh, commiserate. Sorry, Spike, Sorry. - Oh. - That is incorrect. Thanks for trying little guy, hope to see you next year. Harper. - I'm ready, let's do this. Your word is vandalize. I got this. Vandalize, V-A-N-D-A-L-I-Z-E. - Correct. - Woo! - We'll see you in the spelling bee, Harper. Woo! Rhonda, are you ready? I'm ready. Your word is, handkerchief. Ooh, handkerchief, H- A-N-D-K-E-R-C-H-I-E-F, handkerchief. - Correct. - Phew. - We'll see you on stage at the big show, Rhonda. Thank you, thank you. Aw, that's too bad for Spike. - Less is more in this case, Jumbo. I'm sure he'll be back next year. - Alright, you guys, there's no turning back now. I signed up all three of us, we're on after this next group. Okay. - Next, give a warm jungle welcome to Della, Eddie, and Bert Hollis. - That's right, right here, y'all. To the victor goes the spoils, boo-yah. Modest as ever. Just like a Hollis. I hate that frog. He picks on everyone in school, too. I hope he gets embarrassed. - Everyone deserves a fair chance, Weldon. Besides, Bert's a pretty strong speller. Whatever, I don't trust him. His uncle probably paid off the judges. Okay, first up is Della. Hi all. And your words is playwright. Ha, don't mess up, Della. No talking on stage, please. - Playwright, P- L-A-Y-R-I-G-H-T, playwright. - So sorry, Della, that is incorrect. Oh, thanks for having me. Buh-bye. Eddie, are you ready? Ready as I'll ever be. That's not saying much. - Once again, no talking on stage. Any further disobeying of this rule may result in disqualification. Yeah, DQ him, throw him out. Weldon, shh. Yeah, hush buddy. We don't wanna be thrown out. We're up next. Eddie, your word is weird. And so are you. No talking! Weird, hmm, I before E except after, after, um, Come on, spit it out. Bert, quiet. Weird, W-I-R-E-D, weird. Wired, he spelled wired? Come on man, is this amateur night or what? Bert Hollis, enough! - Give me some competition up here. - We're very sorry, Eddie, but that's incorrect. W- E-I-R-D is the correct spelling. Oh, that's right. I got nervous. Excuses, excuses. - That will be quite enough, Bert. Focus or step down. - Bring it on, ready when you are. - I think we're all ready for you to leave. Your word is conscience. - That's ironic, Bert has no conscience. Quiet in the audience, please. Yeah, zip it lemmings. - Bert, one more outburst and you will be disqualified on the spot. Okay, okay, conscience, C- O-N-S-C-I-E-N-C-E, conscience. He did it. Made it look easy. It's fixed. - Correct. - Boom. - We'll see you in the championship round, Bert. Good day to you. Good day to you too, Jeeves. Keep that trophy nice and polished for me. Ugh, what a jerk. What an ego. Bert's got issues. - I told you guys he was no good. Moving on, thankfully. Next up, please lend a warm welcome to Jumbo, Tiny, and Weldon. That's us. Here we go. - Welcome you three, Tiny, you're up first. - Hi everybody. - And your word is indict. - Ooh, indict, I- N-D-I-T-E, indict. Sorry Tiny, that's incorrect. Oh, darn. Good luck guys. Thanks Tiny. Sorry to see you go. Bye T. Weldon, you're next. I'm ready. Your word is cemetery. Cemetery, C-E-M-E-T-A-R-Y. So sorry, Weldon. The proper spelling of cemetery is C-E-M-E-T-E-R-Y. The last E is sometimes substituted with an A, but that is incorrect. Thank you for competing. Oh well, thanks everybody. Knock 'em dead, Jumbo. I'll try, Weldon. - Okay, last but not least, Jumbo. Your word is millennium. - Millennium, that's a tough one. - Jumbo's got it, he can spell that in his sleep. Can you spell it? - I think so, M-I-L, oh, I give up. - Millennium, M- I-L-L-E-N-N-I-U-M, millennium. Correct. - Yay! - Yay! - We very much look forward to seeing you again during the competition, Jumbo. Thank you so much. I look forward to being there, bye. You did it, Jumbo. You were every bit as fast and certain as that big bully Bert. - Yeah, I think you have that spelling bee in the bag, Jumbo, your memory's just too good, you elephant, you. You guys flatter me. But seriously, the bee's gonna be tough. Just one slipup, and you're finished. Anyone can win it. Well, I'm with Tiny. My money's on you, pal. - I'd have to say the front runners are easily you and Bert Hollis. Ugh, anybody but Bert. You've gotta win, Jumbo, you have to. I'll do my best, Weldon. It's all any of us can ever do. And if Bert wins, so be it, it's not the end of the world. Well, speak for yourself. If Bert Hollis wins that spelling bee, I, for one, am going to be so depressed, I might sleep for a whole month. - And I might eat all the falafel in the fair all by myself. - Oh, falafel, we forgot to get some. - Nuh uh, not me, Bert's still back there talking smack. I'll go tomorrow. Besides, I don't have a spelling bee to train for anymore. I'm sorry guys. You watch, next year will be your year, both of you. - As long as you win it all this year, Jumbo, I'm okay with that. I second that, Jumbo or bust. All hail Jumbo. - Come on you two, don't get carried away. - Ha, I'll tell you who's gonna get carried away, Bert, I betcha he's blowing his top that you advanced to the championship round. - That's right, you're the one animal in this jungle who can defeat him at pretty much anything. And he knows it. Oh, come on now. I'm sure Bert's fine with competing against me in the bee. We're all adults here, after all, and it's just a contest. - I tried, Bert, but the judges wouldn't hear of it. They said all animals were now free to enter and compete regardless of their brain size or intelligence. All animals? What nincompoop came up with that silly equality rubbish? It'll be the end of the bee as we know it. - Nonsense, the only thing that can end the jungle spelling bee is if I say it's over. Remember, I funded the bee in the first place, and money makes the world go 'round. He who has the most money wins, and nobody has more than I do. I am the mogul of moguls, the tycoon of tycoons, the entrepreneur of entrepreneurs, the CEO of CEOs, the amphibian of amphibians, and I rule this land with webbed feet and a bullwhip tongue. - I do like your style, Uncle Ron. - Mr. Hollis, Bert, call me Mr. Hollis. Right, sorry. - Yes, well, remember, the power position is the only position, nephew. And don't worry, we won't let some floppy-eared, droopy-trunked elephant get in the way of our new ventures and take what's rightfully yours. You're Bert Hollis, next in line to inherit my entire empire. - I am, whoa, uncle Ro-, I mean Mr. Hollis, I had no idea. My pops thinks he's set to inherit the keys to your empire when you retire. Your father, ha! That's the funniest joke I've heard in a long time. The only keys I'd give your father are the keys to this high-rises's janitorial closet, because that's the only job he's fit for here. - Ha, ha, ha, that's true, Mr. Hollis, Pops is a loser, Always has been, always will be. He enjoys nature and lily pads, sunshine and fresh water. He knows nothing of business and success. - That's right, Bert, he doesn't. Your dad's always had his head in the clouds and his feet in the pond. I tried to reason with him, but some frogs you just can't reach. So you get your father, luckily his kind of idiocy skips a generation, so I have you, and you're a winner, nephew. - Yes I am, just like you Unc-, Mr. Hollis. - Tell me what I already know, kid. In the business world, he who finishes last loses. And Hollises aren't losers. No, we're not. - While the rest of these jungle beasts play checkers, we play 3D chess. - Yes, we do. - And I've got a little trick up my sleeve that'll ensure nobody but you wins that spelling bee, Bert. Nobody but you. That's correct. Okay, let's try another one, ready? - I'm ready. - You asked for it, this one's tricky. - Hit me with your best shot, Tiny. - Oh, I'm gonna, your word is pharaoh. Ooh, good one. Pharaoh, hmm, P- H-A-R- Careful Jumbo, think about it. P- H-A-R-A-O-H, pharaoh, - Wow. - Correct. Whew, that was a tough on. - You've got this, Jumbo, you've got it. I'm telling you, there's no way you can lose. - Don't make me overconfident, Tiny. Overconfidence leads to mistakes. That's true, it does. You may or may not win this thing, Jumbo. Your vocabulary's elementary, and your skills are marginal at best. - Okay, now that's a little too far the other way, Weldon. - That's right, we don't wanna make Jumbo feel bad about himself either, Weldon. That'll accomplish nothing, and you can bet Mr. Hollis isn't browbeating Bert about what a dummy he is. That's true. - Yeah, it's probably an understatement. I bet Hollis is spit shining Bert's lily pad, filling his head with ridiculous flights of fancy and wild ideas of grandeur. - Now guys, Ron Hollis is a jungle animal, just like we are, with hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes, wants, and desires. It's important that we don't marginalize him and paint him as some kind of monster. I'm sure that behind the scenes he's a perfectly swell frog. - I know exactly how you feel, Mr. Hollis. I hate elephants, too. They're ugly, they take up too much space, and they smell funny. - Right, they're an embarrassment to jungle life, a blight on the land. They're not even good for manual labor since they were liberated from those traveling shows that at least used to keep them contained. - You know, I know a word doctor who can handle this problem, but it'll cost you. He doesn't come cheap. Oh, I would hope not. I must find a way to knock Jumbo the elephant out of contention, and clear the way for my nephew Bert to win it all. I see, well in that case, why don't we just go and see my friend now. He can get sketchy when he's surprised, but he knows me, which greatly reduces his chances of attacking. Oh, well, that's good to know. Take me to the word doctor. I'll make him an offer he cannot refuse. Ugh, is it much farther, Atticus? I am parched, I'm an amphibian, you know, we need water. - You're telling me, I'm a great white shark. In this day and age of manmade ponds, lakes, creeks, and streams, doesn't anybody realize sharks do business, too? - I'll tell you what, Atticus, if this mysterious friend of yours can help torpedo Jumbo's chances of winning that spelling bee, I'll send in my workers and carve that canal just for you, free of charge. You will? Then consider it done. I'll personally broker this deal and make certain it's a win-win for us all. - Excellent, I'm looking forward to it. - Hollis, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful partnership. Who!? Who dares breach my sacred lair unannounced? It's me, Magnus. It's me, Atticus, your old friend, remember? Atticus, the shark? The one and only. How you been, killer? Hungry. Word got out that there's a predator in these woods. Now my prey's dried up. I've had nothing to eat but cucumbers and squash for a whole week. - Cucumbers and squash are actually very nutritious. One could thrive on the nutrients they provide alone. Who's this? This is Ron Hollis, Magnus. You might've heard of him, the real estate tycoon from the big city. Smells like a frog to me. That's because I am a frog, more accurately, I am the frog. I've cut every deal, constructed every building, had every worker in court, every shot from here to the Arctic pole for probably as long as you've been alive. - Hmm, how much longer do you suppose you'll be alive, frog? - Uh, Atticus, would you like to clarify for your friend? - Magnus, we're here to ask a favor. - No. - No? No! What does he mean, no? He, uh, he means no. Sorry, one second. I'm not familiar with that word. What exactly is it referring to? To your favor, frog. The answer is no. You don't come to my home with your webbed hands out, you come bearing gifts and begging mercy, or you don't come at all. Whoa, Ron Hollis begging? I don't think so. Hollis, don't. - And I'll tell you another thing, car chaser, if you think you're safe here, you've got another thing coming. I can snap my webbed fingers and pave over this dump in an afternoon, turn it into a condor rescue facility by tomorrow morning. You got that? - Sassy. - You know it I'm Ron Hollis, and that name carries weight around here. Oh, oh boy. - You're entertaining, Ron Hollis, you make me laugh. I'll give you a second chance. Oh, you give me a chance? - Take the chance, Hollis, take the chance. - That's right, explain this favor you seek. Who knows, I might grant it. Or I might bite you in two. - Oh yeah? - Yeah. Frog's legs are some of my favorite snacks. Well, well, alright. Alright. - Alright, I don't want to be bitten in two. I want to make a deal. Well played. Out with it, frog. - My nephew's competing in the jungle spelling bee shortly, and he's a lock to win. In fact, he's never misspelled a word in his whole life. - Sounds like a pretentious little brat. Oh he is, he's horrible. But, just like me, he's a winner. There's just one animal standing in his way. - If it's a wolf, I can't help you. We stick together. - It's not a wolf, it's an elephant. An elephant, blech. I hate elephants. So do we. That's right. I mean, they taste good, but that's about it. - This elephant is particularly annoying. He's a nuisance to the whole jungle, and snooty, thinks he knows it all. - Yes, most of those elephants do. - Superiority complexes, big heads. - I want to stop him from entering that spelling bee with my nephew. And, if he does have the gall to get on stage, I want him to be useless, as dumb as a bag of rocks. That's a tall order, frog. Why should I help you? - Because I can help you, Magnus. Your prey is dwindling, you're about to starve out here. Do business with me and I'll see that you don't. - Oh. - Oh yes. I'll make one call and stock these woods with more caribou, and bison, and elk, and beaver than you can shake your tail at. Your plate will be full enough for three lifetimes. - Well, since you put it that way, the doctor is in. Excellent. - What say I prescribe you a certain word that will cause whomever utters it to lose their memory completely? - I'd say that's splendid, splendid indeed. Very well then. All you have to do is get the subject to utter this word aloud, and it is done. What is the word, tell me. I'll tell you. But if I see no elk, caribou, moose, beaver, or the like in one hour's time, I'll render the word null and void. Your elephant can say it 100 times, shout it from the treetops, it will do nothing but sound good rolling off his tongue. Fair enough, what's the word? You must say it first, frog, but I can give you a clue to point the way. Here it is, what is your favorite thing to make? - Hmm, my favorite thing to make, of course, money! - Goodness, you are shallow, aren't you? What, that's not it? - Oh. - Okay, give me one more try. My favorite thing to make, I know, a deal. - Hi, Albert, how's the fair been going? It's great, Jumbo. Attendance is up from last year, and there's been no falcon trouble like that one time. Oh, that's great. Those falcons sure stirred it up, boy. Tell me about it. We had to hand stitch all our big top roofs back together. - Tedious. - What's that mean? - Oh, it means tiresome and monotonous. Mo-no-to-what? - Sorry, Albert, it means long, slow, and dull. Ah. You and your big words, I bet you can't wait for the spelling bee, huh? - No, it's gonna be fun, for sure. Think you're gonna win? You never know. - Well, Bert Hollis says he knows. He says he's unbeatable, says his uncle's seen to it that he can't lose. Oh yeah? Just how does he plan to do that? We'll all be up on stage by ourselves, and we'll either spell our words correctly or we won't. There's no way to cheat. - Who said anything about cheating, Jumbo? - Topper, some things never change. I should've known you'd be in the thick of things, eavesdropping on conversations. - I ain't eavesdropping, big boy. I've turned over a new leaf. Is that so? Not associating with the falcons anymore, eh? Nah, tent vandalism? They think too small. I'm on to bigger things. I work for Mr. Hollis now. And he told me to find you. Mr. Hollis? - Well, you found me, what do you want? - I don't want nothing, Mr. Hollis does. What does he want? - He wants to see you right away. Whoa, that can't be good. What's this about, Topper? - He's got a business proposal for ya, an offer you can't refuse. Oh no, I saw The Godfather. Don't go, Jumbo, don't go. Why, I've done nothing wrong. Tell him I'll talk to him. - He said he wants you to meet him downtown at the top-floor apartment of his high-rise. - Fine, when? - As soon as you can. Ah, Jumbo, be careful. The city's a big, bustling, dangerous place, look both ways before crossing the street, and take everything that frog says with a grain of salt. City slickers are the jungle's natural enemies. - Don't listen to this kid, Jumbo. He works in a fair booth for crying out loud. It's his job to mislead ya. What if Hollis likes your style and wants to sponsor you? Likes my style? That's crazy, I don't have any style. Well, true, still, that frog can open doors that don't even exist out here. Opportunity only knocks one time, Jumbo. You can either answer the door, or let it pass you by. Hmmm. Nice place you have here, Mr. Ho-, or Ron. - Thank you, Jumbo, you'd blush if I told you what it cost. My only recourse was to turn my company into such a raging success that money poured in from every crack and crevice until I could literally afford anything in this world I wanted. - Wow. - And I do mean anything, Jumbo. - That sounds fun. - It is. You're not a dim beast, Jumbo. You saw them out there, hustling and bustling, back and forth, to and fro, keeping pace, racing the clock, so mired in the rat race that they can no longer see the jungle from their office windows, so weighed down by pointless burden and empty obligation that they can't raise their heads above their cubicles to see anything around them. It's no way to live. It sure doesn't look like it. - Yes, but animals like yourself know otherwise. You and my nephew here see beyond the matrix that's been constructed for the lesser beings. Your minds are free, therefore, your potential is limitless. That's right. - Jumbo, what would you say if I told you I had a rare offer for you? An offer I can't refuse? Something like that. - That didn't work out so good for Meerkat Corleone. Didn't it? Depends on what you consider good. Ungrateful elephant. What was that, Bert? Always project your voice, nephew. Remember, address them like you would in the boardroom and they'll never fail to fall in line behind your force of will. - But I've never been in a boardroom, Mr. Hollis. How would I know how you address folks? - It's your outside voice, Bert, use your outside voice. - Okay. - As I was saying, Jumbo, I have an exceptional opportunity for you, if you choose to accept. Okay, I'm all ears. - You can say that again. Please, Bert, hush. What if I told you that you and my nephew here could share the jungle-wide limelight of a spelling bee tie. - A tie? - A tie? - A tie, you're both clearly the two front runners to win that contest. - I think I edge him out, though. Follow me here, Jumbo. You two boys tie at the end, following a nail-biter of a contest. The jungle audience will be torn with half the animals feeling you won, and half feeling Bert won. - You really think half our animals will be sympathetic to Bert? - Hey. - I do, because we'll color it that way. You boys will play up the drama onstage, stutter a word here, hang on a pause there, play the crowd like a fiddle to up their investment in the drama and pageantry. - Mr. Hollis, are you suggesting we rig the spelling bee's outcome? - Rig, no, rig is such an ugly word. Rig is for losers. Don't think like a loser, Jumbo. Remember, free mind equals free body, and free bodies take lots of vacations with all the money they make. - Oh, okay. - After the bee ends in a dramatic tie, we'll be free to book follow-up events throughout the jungle and beyond. I mean Friday night showdowns at Macaw Square Garden, Saturday night sellouts at Capuchin Event Center. The opportunities are endless. It's an open ticket to print money, as opposed to a single, clear-cut winner, which will provide a spike in interest that dwindles the day after, and is all but forgotten a week later. You know those animals' attention spans. We have something shiny, and they'll forget what they were doing a second ago. - Dummies. - Hush, Bert. Let our guest talk. What do you say, Jumbo, do we have a-- - A deal? - Yes. - No, wait, I was asking, not agreeing. It doesn't matter, it's over, congratulations, Bert. Your star will soon rise, nephew, to heights unimaginable. - Sweet, I can't wait, Uncle Ron. - Mr. Hollis. - Whatever. - Thanks for the offer, Mr. Hollis, but I'd rather compete fair and square. I'm afraid I'll have to decline. Decline all you want, Jumbo, your destiny is written in stone whether or not we have a-- Deal? Hmm, I'll just show myself out. You do that, jungle boy. Yeah, see ya later, loser. Uh, what just happened? - You just won that spelling bee. The business world is deeper than you realize, nephew. There's levels to this. Needless to say, you won't have to worry about that elephant anymore. Come morning, he'll be lucky if he remembers his own name. Sweet. It was so weird, you guys. No sooner did Mr. Hollis invite me in and compliment my skills than both him and Bert started mocking me and laughing in my face. They basically went from asking me to do business with them to kicking me right back to the curb. I'm so confused! - Well, I can't think of any better news than that, Jumbo. The thought of you in league with the Hollises was making me physically ill. - Yikes, well, don't worry, Weldon. The only involvement I'll be having with the Hollises is on stage at the spelling bee in a couple days, when I beat Bert and claim my prize. - Nice, we'll be front and center, Jumbo, cheering you on and watching that cocky frog crumble. Hey, what do you say we head back to the fair, get some falafel, and play some games? - That sounds fun, Weldon, but I'm bushed. It's hectic walking abound downtown, my head's spinning. I think I'm gonna lie down and take a nap. - You didn't have anything to eat or drink from the Hollises, did you Jumbo? - No, they didn't even offer me a glass of water, why? Oh, I was just curious. I wouldn't put it past those jerks to try and feed you bad dates or expired milk to make you sick and force you to miss the spelling bee. - I wondered about that myself as I was going there, but Hollis was so nice, then so strange. I wonder what they really wanted. - Maybe they were just feeling you out, picking your brain to find out how prepared you are, or if they could glean any training tips. Yeah, maybe. - The important thing is you're back home safe and sound, and ready to resume training for the bee. I'm gonna go back to the fair with Weldon for a little bit. You rest, when we get back, we'll run flashcards and quiz you on new words. - Sounds good, thanks for being understanding, you guys. I just had to go see what they wanted. What a waste of time and effort, I'll never do that again. Amen to that. Double amen, let's go, Weldon. Sweet dreams, Jumbo. Later guys. Hey, Tiny, Weldon, thank goodness you're here. I've been dealing with that insufferable jerk, Bert Hollis, all afternoon. Bert's back? He was being a jerk downtown this morning, - Yeah, he and his creepy uncle were giving Jumbo a hard time at their place. - Yeah, he's been bad mouthing Jumbo all over the place, talking about how he's gonna win the spelling bee and stick his prize up that elephant's snout. - What a lowdown frog, I hate Bert. - You're not alone, everybody hates Bert. Watch out for him in there. He's been going up to everyone he sees, boasting and bragging. Lots of folks are starting to leave. - Thanks for the warning, Albert, we'll keep an eye out. - Maybe I'll take my wing upside his green head. Ha, that I'd like to witness. - No fighting, Weldon, you're too good for that. It would only sink you down to Bert's level. Yeah, you're right. I'm a bird, we take the high ground naturally. Come on, Tiny, let's find that falafel stand. - Okay, hopefully the line's not too long. Hey, look who we have here. Topper, a pig and a bird. He leaves the droppings, she rolls around in 'em. Ew, disgusting. - The only disgusting things here are your faces, you bullies. - Yeah, why don't you go make some friends and stop harassing everyone. - Because, birdbrain, it's more fun to harass. - Especially when you wimps are so easily harrassable. - That's right, I mean look at you two. You look like farm animals, or worse. When's the last time you had manicures or pedicures? - When's the last time you accomplished anything your rich uncle didn't help you with? - There they go again, talking about your uncle 'cause they're jealous. - That's the way it goes, Topper. The have nots hate the haves just for having what they don't. - No, everyone hates you because you're a mean little frog, Bert. You'd have a jungle full of friends who wouldn't care a thing about your uncle if only you were cool, but you're not. And you have never been. Boo hoo, poo poo. Why don't you go try your claws at winning some stale birdseed, fly boy. That's about the nicest thing you can get for yourself. - Why don't you shut up and tell your uncle to buy your dad a new lily pad? He's sinking into the pond out there. What did you say? Uh, nothing. - You wanna try me, feather face? No, I'm against fighting. - 'Cause you don't know how to fight. Well... - Just leave us alone, we came to the fair to have fun, not to argue with a couple of jerks like you two. - Okay, piggy, we'll leave you alone. You smell funny up close anyway. Gross. Give Jumbo my regards. And if his memory fails him, remind him that I'm the soon-to-be spelling champ. If his memory fails him? What's that supposed to mean? Jumbo has a great memory. - I don't know, Weldon, but I'm worried those Hollises may have played a mean trick on our friend. Okay audience, here he is, the elephant we all know and love, the elephant with so much potential, the elephant who, in a fair and just world, will win this spelling bee, hooves down. Please give a warm jungle welcome to that intelligent elephant, Jumbo. - Hi everybody, it's so nice to be here. - Are you ready for your first word, Jumbo? Ready as I'll ever be. Did you hear that folks? He's as ready as he'll ever be. Okay smartypants, your word is loser. Okay, loser, L- O-, um, Clock's ticking, Jumbo. I know, I know. Loser, L-O-O-S-E-R, loser. Oh, oh my. That's terribly incorrect. That's all wrong. That's not even the same word. What a stupid mistake that was, eh fans? - I, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. - That is without a doubt the dumbest mistake anyone's ever made on our spelling bee stage since we've been holding jungle spelling bees. I mean S-T-O-O-P-I-D, stupid. No, no, it's not my fault. I don't know what's wrong, I can't think straight. I can't think. What a nightmare, felt so real. - The annual jungle spelling bee begins tomorrow at high noon, and its obvious outcome is as predetermined as one can be. When all is said and done, you will emerge as the ultimate victor, Bert, single-handedly crushing the competition in your webbed fist. When that elephant wakes up tomorrow morning and tries to think of the simplest thing, he'll find his big brain has turned to mush. His mind will be rendered completely useless. Just think of it, nephew, the marketing opportunities. Bert dolls, Bert cereal boxes. Bert t-shirts, Bert's debut rap record. - But Jumbo, it's us, your best friends in the whole jungle, we've known each other forever. What? I've never seen you two in my life. What are your names again? It's me, Tiny. And me, Weldon. - That's not ringing a bell you guys. Oh no, this is terrible. I know the Hollises are somehow behind this, I just know it. The Hollises? Now, that sounds familiar. - He remember the Hollises, but not us? This is crazy. Something's not right. This reeks of that word doctor, Magnus. I'm gonna go talk to him. Who's Magnus? I do not know you. - Maybe we should go talk to Magnus. Right away. We'll be back soon, Jumbo, just take it easy and relax. - If you two don't get out of here right now, I'm calling the jungle patrol. Yikes, go, go! - Hello, Mr. Magnus, sorry to intrude. We come in peace. That's too bad. I was looking forward to a knockdown, drag-out brawl. Not me, I'm a peaceful bird. Hmph, too bad. - Magnus, we're here to ask you about our friend, Jumbo the elephant. What about him? Well, he's not himself. - Sounds like an identity crisis, lots of elephants get 'em. - Yeah, but this is particularly bad. We spoke with him earlier and everything was fine, then he laid down for a nap, and when he woke up, he didn't remember us. - That's right, he doesn't even know who we are. - Now that you come to mention it, I don't know who you are. Who are you? - My name's Tiny, and this is my friend Weldon. - What do you want from me, Tiny and Weldon? - Answers, do you have anything to do with our friend's memory loss? - Me, why would I bother myself with some jungle elephant? - Maybe because Ron Hollis offered you a deal. - Ron Hollis, the amphibian swindler? I only do business with reputable animals, my dear. You're oinking under the wrong tree. - Please, Magnus, did you at least hear about this? Can you tell us anything? 'Fraid not, bacon. Let's go, Tiny. After what Hollis did, only a fool would deal with him. Wait a second, hold on. What exactly did Hollis do that would render one foolish for dealing with him? Um. - Like you don't know, everyone knows by now, right Tiny? That's right. Everyone knows about it. - Well, I seem to be feeling a big forgetful myself. Why don't you two refresh my memory? - Oh, okay, go ahead and tell him, Weldon. What could it hurt now? - That's true, what's done is done, and fortunately. Hollis bought up acres and acres of our protected land for his city company to develop. He what? That's right. He plans to build strip mall after strip mall right here where we're standing. This part of the jungle might've been peaceful up to now, but all that's about to change, and this habitat will be destroyed forever. - Bunk, I've heard nothing of the sort. - That's because it's all off the books and under the table. - Hollis knows what he's doing is illegal, but he's not about to be stopped, until it's too late, of course. The monster. That's what we said. - Yeah, we said exactly that, the monster. - Come on, Tiny, we'll keep asking around. Thanks for your time, Magnus. We're sorry to bother you. Hold on a second, you two. You're right, Hollis offered me a deal in exchange for casting a curse that would erase Jumbo's memory before the spelling bee. You cad. How could you? - I'm starving out here, that's how. - But Jumbo's never said a cross word to you, Magnus. He'd never hurt a fly. Why would you do this to him? Can you reverse the curse on Jumbo? - No. - Oh. I don't do junk magic, piggy. My curses are the real deal, irreversible. However, it can be countered with dedicated memory exercises taught by a master only. Oh great, where in the jungle will we ever find a memory master? - So you see, Jumbo, we just have to find some smartypants somewhere who can guide you through some specialized exercises to restore your memory. Yeah, easy, right? I don't know, you guys. I'll take your word for it that you know me and we're good friends and all, but I just don't remember anything. What did you call me? What's my name again? - Jumbo. - Jumbo. Ah, right. - Listen, we have to keep trying. If we don't at least try, we're sure to fail, and all the good times and the laughs we've had will be lost forever. And I don't know about you guys, but I am not willing to let that go. I love you, Jumbo, we all do, and we want you to get on stage in that spelling bee and win it like we know you can. But most importantly, we want our friend back. Can we just give it our best shot, please? Oh, sure, why not? - Yay! - Yay! - What are you guys so happy about? - I have no idea, I really don't. Who are you? Ha, ha, very funny. No, really, who are you? - We're having an absolutely dreadful day, Emmett. The worst. What's up, buddy? You guys are weird, man. - I know, right, straight up cuckoo. - Wanna hear a story you won't believe, Emmett? - Uh, why would I want to hear it if I won't believe it? - Because it's so crazy somebody should write it down and make a movie out of it or something. - It'd make a great cartoon, for sure. Okay, fine, you tell me yours, then I'll tell you mine. We'll see whose is crazier. You have a wild story, too. Sure do, and it's all true. What's it about? - It's about a million-year-old dinosaur named Big T, who lives deep in the jungle, and has a memory that goes back as far as time itself. - Whoa. - Whoa. - He tells the future and does ninja mind tricks, and anyone who finds him comes away enlightened with deeper memory and understanding than they ever had before, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wow, sounds wild. Yeah, sure does. - I'm telling you this is a sign, guys. What are the odds that Emmett would know exactly the creature we need to talk to at exactly the time we need to talk to him. - Astronomical at best, and if this Big T is real, he's the one who can restore Jumbo's memory, no doubt. We've gotta find him and fast, everything depends on it. I don't know you guys, I mean, how do we find a reclusive ancient dinosaur who doesn't wanna be found? Do we just, like, throw out a slab of meat and call, here dinosaur, dinosaur, dinosaur, or what? Hmm, that's not a bad idea. But, we don't even have any bait. Unless we count Tiny - You do believe me that we're best friends, right Jumbo? I'm taking your word for it. You've both been totally nice to me so far. If nothing else, we can be new besties for sure. Whew. - Come on you guys, the jungle's getting denser, if there is an old dinosaur out here, this is looking more and more like his kind of turf. - Attention, ladies, gentlemen, and animals of all stripes, spots, and hides, come one, come all. - Wait, are you carny barking now? I thought this was my job. - Shut up, Albert, this is important, let my uncle talk. - Here's your chance to meet the frog before he was famous, and I mean, just before. Come, shake the webbed hand of Bert Hollis, future spelling bee champion of the entire animal kingdom. Bert's never misspelled a word in his whole life. And spoiler alert, ladies and gents, he's not about to start now. Oh boy. Yeah, you tell 'em, Uncle Ron. - That's Mr. Hollis to you, nephew. Come say hi to future legend Bert Hollis, live and in the flesh, right here, right now. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, kids. Bert's soon to be a household name. - You hear that, Albert, household name. Forget Siri, when folks wanna know the answers to life's mysteries from now on, they'll call on Bert. How impressive. Darned right. - And you all know me, I am Mr. Ron Hollis, Bert's beloved uncle. Uh, like uncle, like nephew. Did you hear that, Tiny? Hear what? - That sounds like a dinosaur lurking. Can Weldon still see us? I don't know, let me look. - The coast is clear, you guys, keep going. Wow, look at that view from up here, it's majestic. Boy, do I spend too much time on the ground. - Do you still hear something, Jumbo? - Thought I heard something breathing, something big. - It's probably just the wind in the trees. - Wow, look out, dinosaur at 12 o'clock, dinosaur. - Who dares disturb my serene slumber? We do, Big t. Who's we, morsel? - Oh, wow, I've never been called a morsel before. I feel funny. - Please, Mr. T, don't harm my friends. - Aw, Jumbo, you called us your friends. - One thing right now, do not call me Mr. T. It's Big T, got it? Yes, I got it, Big T, sir. - Hey, you leave my friends alone you big, ugly, oh, whoa,. - We don't mean to bother you, Big T, but a friend of ours said you might be able to help us. - A friend of yours told you of my existence? - Yes, and that you're very old and wise. Old? Tell me, do I look old, morsel? - See, it still makes me feel funny. - No, you don't look a day over a half million. Oh, really? Well, I'm liking you three more and more, go on. Mr. Big T, uh, I'm afraid my good friends here have put themselves in danger today for me. I'm the one who needs help, and they're only trying to find it for me. If you're angry, please don't take it out on them, it's alL my fault that we've disturbed you. And I'd like to start by saying, we're sorry. Go on. - My name's Jumbo and I'm set to compete in today's, wow, is it today? In about an hour. - I'm competing in today's jungle spelling bee, and I'm a really good speller. He's, like, the best. He was totally gonna win. - Anyway, another contestant's uncle struck a deal with the jungle word doctor and completely erased my memory. Wiped it clean. - He can't even spell his name, Big T. - I see, you're as dumb as riverbank moss. Yeah, so, anyway, our friend, Who he also doesn't remember. - Yeah, nada, so our friend told us there's an ancient dinosaur who lives deep in the jungle with a memory as old as time itself. At your service. - Yeah, and that you could maybe, if you were so inclined and feeling gracious, maybe, you know, Gobble you up in one bite and not spill a drop on the ground? Yikes, we're finished. Well, ideally no. - Mmhmm, lucky for you lot, I already had lunch. You have, whew. Tell me, morsels. So, so funny. - What is the name of this fellow competitor's uncle? It's Ron Hollis, sir. Ron Hollis? I hate Ron Hollis. You, you do? - Yes, ever since that dastardly frog tried painting and selling dinosaur eggs to turn a buck during Easter, I've counted him among my moral enemies. How despicable. - Anything I can do to help you, I shall if it works against Hollis in any way. - Can you restore Jumbo's memory, Big T? I can indeed. If you could win that spelling bee and ensure that any member of the Hollis's bloodline tastes nothing but bitter defeat for eternity. - Now that sounds like a good deal to me. Yes, Jumbo, say yes. - Yes, if you can grant me my memory, Big T, I promise I'll go win that spelling bee like a boss. Very well, repeat after me. - Amidst the mists and fiercest frost, with barest wrist and stoutest boast, he thrusts his fists against the posts, and still insists he sees the ghosts. - Amidst the mists and fiercest frost, with barest wrist and stoutest boast, he thrusts his fists against the posts, and still insists he sees the ghosts. - Good, now let's go over some history lessons. History lessons? Okay, starting from? From the beginning. First, there was a big bang. - Oh no, we're gonna miss the bee. This is it everybody. Welcome one and all to the platform upon which dreams are made, and some dreams broken. Yes, indeed, it's time once again for the annual jungle spelling bee. Without further ado, allow me to introduce this year's contestants, an illustrious, if motley, crew of the animal kingdom's most skilled wordsmiths. Indeed, this group is already the best, and after today, we'll know who's the best of the best. Ha, just crown me now. - Just a reminder, as always, today's contest is a single-elimination tournament to crown the best speller in our land. That means your first mistake is also your last mistake. And now, our contestants, first up, welcome back that masterful maestro of the manuscript, Topper. And next, the most adroit alphabeteer, Rhonda. Thirdly, that brilliant bookworm, Harper. And, and, last but certainly not least, Bert. That's it, just Bert? - We, uh, we seem to be missing someone. - Nope, not missing anybody, chop, chop, let's do this. First word, go. We're one member short. Oh dear, I was so looking forward to his performance, too. Well, you got me. Let me show you what I can do. Yeah, I'll show you some real skills. Sorry I'm late everybody. - Here he is, by the skin of his trunk, that most experienced elephant elocutionist, Jumbo. Deja vu. What are you, lost? Scram, elephant, the peanut trough's that way. - Oh, I'm not lost, Bert, I'm right where I belong. It's you who are in trouble. We'll see about that, chump. First word goes to Topper. Topper, the word is supersede. - Ha, give me a hard one, why don't ya. Supersede, S- U-P-E-R-C-E-D-E, supersede. Boomstick, oo-ah. I'm very sorry, Topper, but that is incorrect. What, no? On my first word, no. - The correct spelling is S-U-P-E-R-S-E-D-E. Please, exit the stage, good sir, and we hope to see you next year. - Yeah, you'll see me after the show if you ain't careful, pal. - Well, as security makes their way to the front, the next word goes to Rhonda. - Get your hands off of me. I said get off of me. Rhonda, the word is liaison. Phew, okay, liaison, L- I-A-S-O-N, liaison. Oh no. - I'm so sorry, Rhonda, but, as you may have surmised, that is incorrect. The proper spelling of liaison is L-I-A-I-S-O-N. We do hope to see you again. Next word is for Harper. Harper, the word is accordion. - Got it, in fact, I have one at home, ha, ha, ha, ha. - Shocker. - Accordion, A- C-C-O-R-D-I-A-N, accordion. Oh, I know, I know. I'm very, very sorry, Harper. Can I spell it right? Just for my own piece of mind, sir. I'm moving after the summer, and this was my final spelling bee. Beat it, you bum. - Let him go out on a win, Bert, what do you care? - I'll let you go out on a gurney if you don't zip it, nosy. Okay, Harper, okay. The judges have conferred, and you may take one more, out-of-competition crack at the word. The floor is yours, my friend. A- C-C-O-R-D-I-O-N, accordion. - Correct, congratulations, Harper, and happy trails to you. We hope to see you again someday. - Thanks everybody, it's been a blast. - Move it out, move it out, move it out. Oh my, we're down to our final two contestants that quickly. And here we go. Bert, this next word is yours, ambidextrous. - Ha, you're gonna have to get up earlier in the morning to stump me, chief. A- M-B-I-D-E-X-T-R-O-U-S, ambidextrous. Correct. Jumbo, here we go. The word is isthmus. Ooh, okay. Isthmus, - Don't screw it up. I- S-T-H-M-U-S, isthmus. That is correct. And also, the first winning pair of the day, you know what this means everybody, it's a shootout. Bang, bang, you're dead. Take your best shot, Bert. Your turn, Bert, and the word is limousine. Yeah, my favorite ride. Matter of fact, my uncle's got one waiting for me right outside. We're taking it to my first autograph signing tonight at Macaque Motors. Everybody who didn't meet me before the show today is invited, but bring your cash, 'cause my signature's not free anymore. What was that word again? The word is limousine, Bert. Oh yeah, limousine, L- I-M-O-S-I-N-E, limousine, woohoo, boom, I never miss baby, never. I'm very happy, I mean, sorry to say this, Bert, but that is incorrect. Wait, what? - And that means you are disqualified from the spelling bee. Please, exit the stage, chief. Wait, no, that can't be. Limousine, I spelled it, I spelled it right. I want a replay, Uncle Ron, Uncle Ron?! - Security, if you'll see the contestant out. Don't touch me. I'm going, I'm going Uncle Ron! - Well, Jumbo, you're the last animal standing. The next correct spelling wins, are you ready for your next word? I am, sir. - Okay, and Jumbo, congratulations. Thank you, sir. - The next word is Tyrannosaurus. Ha, what a coincidence. Go Jumbo! Win it all, buddy! - You rock Jumbo, do it for Big T! - Tyrannosaurus, T- Y-R-A-N-N-O-S-A-U-R-U- S. Yay! Woohoo! Yes, yes, yes! Yeah! - Ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you the spelling bee champion of the animal kingdom, Jumbo. I like this dream much better. |
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