Shochiku Films
Wedding
Tomoyo Harada Takanori Jinnai
Directed by Seijun Suzuki
I want milk.
I want breasts.
What's this? We thought you were dead.
Please help me out of these clothes.
Get me out of here!
Protect us! Protect us!
Let me suck at your teats.
But I'm a man!
Nothing comes out of my teats.
What did you say?!?
I don't want a man!
Isn't that Hanako Hanamura?
She's in the audience! It's Hanako Hanamura, the number one actress!
Don't you recognize Hanako Hanamura?
Little boy from beyond the grave...
carrying rolls of cash your relatives gave
Won't you please give one to me?
I'll give you one, and you, too...
...if you help me search for breastmilk.
I'll give... them to you once you bring it to me.
I just want to drink milk.
I want to suck at my mother's breast again.
I'm a maiden of the shrine.
This mouth asks to drink...
...the milk from the breast of the shrine maiden.
Thank you for your patronage.
Please marry me.
Really.
What's going on?
What's going on?
Namu Amida Butsu... Namu Amida Butsu
Glory to the sutra... glory to the sutra...
I'm waaaiiiting!
Ms. Hanako!
It hurts!
No. 1 Actress HANAKO HANAMURA wants to be a bride.
Rasputin?
Rasputin?
Good night.
Good night.
Goodbye.
Boss!
Please let me sleep.
I don't want to die alone!
You lost all the company's money betting on Sumo wrestling?
And you can just sit there eating my natto?
What are you doing?
Eating umeboshi until I die of hypertension.
But these are low-salt umeboshi.
Stop that!
Unless you...
...marry someone like Hanako Hanamura, we're finished.
What do you mean?
The number one actress wants to be a bride. Whoever she marries...
...will be famous.
My house is tiny. I have to give away everything to pay off my debts.
-If I marry Hanako Hanamura... -...all my debts will go away!
I'll finally become famous!
I'm not kidding, you really had me going!
By the way, I was thinking...
Marry... me, please.
I decline.
Ms. Hanako!
Why should I marry an untalented ham like you?
But you said you wanted to!
How does one grab a woman's fickle heart?
You're a woman, too.
How does one go about winning your hearts?
Do you know some trick?
Suddenly...
Suddenly...
Good morning.
Please leave.
I know my gift is unworthy of you, but...
...it's firm tofu, made from homegrown soybeans.
I made it myself, with love.
Wait!
That's what I've named it.
Wait. Wait.
You can use "wait" to make boiled tofu, mapo tofu, or cold tofu if you want.
What are you doing?
I'm "Rasputin" Takeuchi!
Please let me show my love for you with this dance!
Is that you, Hanako?
Ms. Hanamura?
Ms. Hanamura?
Ms. Hanamura?
Where do you think she went?
I've figured it out!
The words to profess my love!
Mai!
I've got it!
I want to impregnate you!
I want to father your children!
I want to father your children!
Stay back!
I want to father your children!
I want to father your children!
Ms. Hanamura!
Ms. Hanamura! We have questions!
Hey, you! Why are you chasing her?
I'm not.
-Why are you chasing her? -Shut up!
I want to impregnate you with a child!
Ms. Hanako!
I want to...
Please impregnate me!
Jesus fucking Christ! Jesus fucking Christ!
Iwashita! I... I...
I'm engaged now!
You know the actress Hanamura Hanako?
She's the most popular actress!
I'm calling to invite you to my birthday and engagement party.
See you later!
Rasputin!
It's Mr. Yoshikawa!
It's my honor to act as matchmaker.
Iwashita!
Who's she?
We went to school together.
-I said to stop dating! -We weren't dating!
-Then why's she doing this? -I wonder.
If this embarrasses Hanako, she'll cancel the wedding!
She's laughing!
Her smile is frightening!
On behalf of Rasputin, I'd like to thank you.
And I thought Hanako Hanamura was making it with Akira Inoue...
This engagement puts an end to that speculation, I guess...
To Rasputin, for helping make people stop talking about our scandal!
Cheers!
You want to know why I chose Rasputin Takeuchi?
Yes, I would.
I knew he was desperate.
Who's that?
That's the head of Rasputin's company.
They're in a lot of debt because he bet all their money on sumo.
Would you like some coffee?
-Ra... Rasputin Takeuchi
When I saw Rasputin's face, I knew I could get him to do whatever I asked.
Will you ever leave your wife?
I'll talk to her tomorrow.
You will, right?
But now you've gotten attached to this Rasputin Takeuchi.
Don't worry.
Once the heat wears off our scandal, I'll break off the engagement.
Let me put on my makeup.
Rasputin Takeuchi, an actor just in his prime...
...is now engaged to the ever-popular Hanako Hanamura.
This wedding will be a big hit!
All the papers are heaping praise on Hanako!
She'll be shedding her image as desperate to wed.
Quite an image change for her!
Rasputin Takeuchi must seem like a gift from the gods to Hanako.
The God I know is in favor of this wedding, too.
Now you have Rasputin, Hanako, we can hope the same fortunes smile on us.
Thank you.
I want to break up.
What?
What are you on about now?
I'll get it.
This is Inoue.
I want to cherish my good fortune.
So let's forget all about the two of us.
Let's eat!
Forget all about what I was saying earlier.
The whole day, all they talk about on the TV is Hanako Hanamura!
Calm down.
Eventually, it'll help your popularity, too.
Hello? Sugawara Talent Agency.
I see. You have a phone call.
Is it her?
It's Rasputin.
Tonight? That works for me. Where?
I see. See you later.
Boss--let me use your car.
Is Hanamura here?
Fire!
Alcohol!
-Me too! -Me too!
With a mouth like that, it can't be you.
Maybe I've come to the wrong place.
This isn't right.
Little boy from beyond the grave...
I... want an onigiri!
-Me too! -Me too!
Onigiri!
I only eat onigiri with shichimi peppers!
Put some in yourself!
You can use this fridge too!
It's filled with them!
That's some way to talk to us.
Shut up!
Your fiancee, Hanako Hanamura...
...isn't going to like this.
Give me all your shichimi peppers.
I brought back your shichimi peppers!
Everyone!
Forgive me for eating first!
Stop that!
You don't mind, do you?
Being together with us like this.
I feel hot!
Stop!
Don't go thinking you were raped by us four women.
More like you were the aggressor!
It smells!
Is this your room?
Make yourself at home.
I think I'll be going...
Rasputin!
Please stop!
This move is called the policeman's dog!
You're...
Your friend?
Shall we release him?
Let's go!
What on earth is going on?
My wife threw me out!
Mother!
Why do you keep spilling it?
Do you even understand what I'm saying? You just keep doing it!
It's like you're trying to annoy me.
I'm sick of it!
Try to eat a little more neatly! Do you understand? Neatly?
Let's eat!
Just forget what I was saying earlier.
Oh, right!
I drafted these while you were on the phone just now. To make things easier.
Divorce papers.
Right in front of mother!
We're strangers now!
Junko! Junko!
That's how it went.
What a cruel woman!
My wife?
No, Hanako Hanamura!
Aren't you engaged to her?
Maybe I won't marry her now.
Mr. Inoue, you knew she was a cruel woman, didn't you?
You knew it but loved her?
Rasputin, listen to me.
An actress is no ordinary woman.
Loving an actress...
...has nothing to do with "looks" or "heart."
Loving an actress...
means loving what's grotesque about her.
Rasputin...
Can you love what's grotesque about Hanako Hanamura?
I can't!
Tomorrow...
I'll call off our engagement!
It's awfully brazen of you to have me here.
Let me see.
-Brazen? -Brazen.
Get out of our way.
It will be at my countryside villa.
The date in December or January.
Good morning!
Rasputin!
It's decided you'll get divorced on year after the wedding.
I...
I'm breaking off the engagement.
Rasputin...
We're just doing this because it's mutually advantageous.
You'll get more popular once you marry me.
It's been announced on televison. How can you call it off?
That's got nothing to do with me!
You don't understand about her...
Can you answer it? I'm busy.
Hello? This is Sugawara's Office.
You're hoping to schedule Rasputin Takeuchi?
Please hold.
You're hoping to interview Rasputin Takeuchi?
Please hold.
Oh no, I hung up!
Hello?
Yes, about the schedule...
Just a moment.
A katsu-don commercial?
What are you doing?
I want to eat an onigiri with shichimi peppers!
Onigiri! With shichimi peppers!
Onigiri!
The bride isn't here yet.
We can't do the rehearsal.
Will the broadcast be cancelled?
That's what the director says.
-Boss. Will you dress as the bride? -What?
You can dress as Hanako Hanamura.
Just for the rehearsal.
-I can't pass as Hanako Hanamura! -Sure you can!
Your face looks like hers without makeup.
Now! Let's get you into her dress!
-I can't fit in a wedding dress! -You'll fit fine!
You look terrific!
It's you!
We're calling it off!
We can't do it if the bride doesn't come!
The bride and groom are both here!
She came?
That's what her face looks like? We'll fix it with makeup tomorrow.
Let's start the rehearsal!
Yes, looks like we've got this. Next, the cake...
Wait for the cameras.
Then pick up the knife.
Just put it right here, and cut down
And then at the end, the bride and groom kiss.
Iwashita!
Iwashita!
The bride is just nervous. Don't worry, I know all about her.
Sorry to bother you.
-Let me borrow your horse. -My horse?
Iwashita!
I want to father your child!
I can't allow that!
One way or another, you're marrying Hanako Hanamura!
Before you eat, there's one other thing.
The bride and groom are nervous.
Don't do anything to make it worse.
Go ahead and eat now.
It's just nerves!
Iwashita!
Go catch them!
It's just nerves!
Hanako Hanamura has died.
What about the live broadcast?
Here's her mortuary tablet.
-Where's my bento? -You can eat from mine!
I thought you died!
Ms. Hanako!
Daddy!
She must be a ghost.
But a deal is a deal.
I will still act as the go-between.
Mother. Father.
I'd like you to meet my bride.
My bride!
I may not make a great bride, but thank you for accepting me.
I forgot! Today is my birthday!
But you remembered it for me!
Let's have a big wedding reception, now that you're famous...
This is a hand-made firm tofu from homegrown soybeans...
The same place we had the rehearsal.
I want to be on TV, too!
We can be a power couple!
Amazing!
Will your lips grow big, too? Mai?
Mai!
The End