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Kerron sinulle kaiken (2013)
EDITH FILM PRESENTS
IN COOPERATION WITH It isn't all sunshine. The lows can be pretty low. When I think about the teenagers I used to work with... And of course - when I think about my daughter- and how she is - and what she looks like now. Last time you said you'd try to contact her once more. You know what my ex thinks of that. She's managed to sabotage my relationship with Pinja. Maybe you shouldn't give up on the idea just yet. What about work? You agree you're a bit overqualified for your cleaning job. The problem is that I'm too honest. I don't know how to keep my mouth shut at job interviews. I still dream of helping people through my work. In some way. How do you see your chances with men? Of course I'd like to find a man. He'd just have to be... exceptional. On the other hand... ...ordinary? Maarit, this is our last session, - so I want to be as open as possible. I'm sure you've heard the expression - "You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs." If you want a man, find one. And if you want to see your daughter, go ring her doorbell. Don't hide yourself from people for the rest of your life. Life's too short for that. I think our time is up. Good luck. Thanks. Thank you for everything. A FILM BY SIMO HALINEN OPEN UP TO ME PRODUCED BY LIISA PENTTILA WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY SIMO HALINEN - Listen. What's your name'? - Maarit. I have to close my office and y to Spain. My father had a heart attack. Could you tell your boss - I won't need cleaning for the next two weeks. - Okay. Make sure you double-lock the door. Drop this key into the maintenance company's mail slot. - Okay. Hi. I'm sorry. The door was open. I'm a little late. I had trouble finding the right entrance. - Sami Suutari. - Maarit Majantie. - You're not Anna-Liisa? - No. Anna-Liisa had to travel. - She'll be back in two weeks. - Oh shit. - Can you give me a glass of water'? - Sure. Please sit down. - Are you Anna-Liisa's assistant? - Y... yes. My wife goes to her and I was thinking... Do you have experience with marital crises? - From a man's perspective. - Why'? You have a moment to talk'? I haven't slept in three days. - It's that bad'? - Yes. Sure, we can have a chat. If you want. That would be great. Please, come in. I've felt for a long time I'm just a compromise to Julia, - someone she tries to live with. So you're both teachers at the same school? Yes, I teach physical education and health. Julia teaches math and chemistry. She's also the vice-principal. You said your wife can be manipulating. If you could change one thing about your wife, what would it be? - What would I change? - Yes. Maybe... I'd like Julia to be a little... - ...less demanding. - Less demanding'? She can't relax even on weekends. We have to spend every single moment on personal development - or quality time with the family, - renovating the house or writing shopping lists. She won't give me or the kids a moment's rest. Did you marry a control freak? Yes, I think that's the reason I'm sitting here. These days when we go to bed... What happens'? Nothing. Except that we both feel shitty. I haven't told this to anyone, but- I've always been sensitive in that way- that I was never that macho, mechanical go-getter in bed. I experienced a lot of failures in sex when I was young. But then I met Julia and everything worked out great. But I still knew this was a sore spot for me. What is? I don't feel safe if the woman doesn't... ...love you? Yes' - Sam. It's a fine and rare quality in a man - when love and sex go hand in hand. But for some reason, - the world isn't an easy place for a man who feels that way. I always thought therapy was about talking about your mom. - We can do that next time. - Thursday at five, right'? You play soccer? - I actually coach our U-18 team. - That's a fine sport. - You like to watch it'? - Yeah. I played, too. - Oh. Which team? - FC Jaro. I didn't know they had a women's team. - I played in the men's team. - As a woman? No. You used to be... a man'? I probably should've told you right away. - If you want to cancel Thursday... - No. No. Absolutely not. Alright then. Good luck in the game. - Cover the wing. - Yup. Thanks. Is Anna-Liisa here? I go to her on Tuesdays, but - her phone is switched off. - You didn't get her e-mail? - No. She'll be out of town for two weeks. Her father is very ill. Oh crap. - Anna-Liisa wanted me to make sure the door is locked. - Are you family? - No. I'm her colleague. - Jaana... Korhonen. - Julia Holma. Since you're her colleague, maybe you can help me. - Can we talk'? - Sure, why not. Can we keep this between us'? I don't want to interfere - in Anna-Liisa's patient relationships. - Sure. My husband and I are going through a crisis. I asked him to come and meet Anna-Liisa with me. I'd feel more confident about our future - if my husband found somebody to talk to. But Sami has no friends, except his soccer buddies. - So Sami is your husband'? - Yes. Julia. It's lovely you're looking for help for your husband. But don't you think it would be better if he found it himself? Maybe you should just let go of him and see what happens? Maybe his eyes will open - when he sees you're no longer afraid of losing him. Teo, what's the problem? Take the balls with you. Red wine and pizza. On a Tuesday? I got a feeling today. Maybe we should take it a little easier. We should relax. Our home isn't a prison, is it? No, it isn't. Are the kids asleep? I'll go take a shower. It was amazing. It was as if Julia read my thoughts. For once, she was relaxed. When I went to take a shower, she offered to wash my back. - We had a lot of fun. - Including sex? It wasn't just the sex. We felt the same way we did when we first met. I think we'll get over this crisis if we work on it a little. I'm glad I can help. Can I call you if I feel the need to talk? Okay. - I guess our time is up. - Right. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Excuse me, - but you live in the northern part of town? - Yes. In Malminkartano. - You came by car'? - You need a ride? - If it's no trouble. - No trouble at all. - So you played for FC Jaro'? - Two seasons. I played for FC Kuusysi in the early 90s. I think you guys once edged us out of the Finnish Cup. 1992! I remember that game very well. - No way. - What position? - I was a fullback. No friggin' way! So you were the one who tripped me in the box during injury time? I was about to break through! Sami. First of all, we were fighting for the ball. Second, the minute you realized you lost the ball, - you dove like a marine archaeologist. I always thought that if I ever met the guy... Now you have. Yeah. You've made quite a journey. You had someone who stood by you through the process? - Nope. You live by yourself? I'm still waiting for the right one. The right man. I imagine you'd find one easily. You're an attractive woman. Sami. I need to tell you something important. Go ahead. Can we go some place and sit down? Sami, when you have extra practice, - I have to hire a substitute for my son. - Dad... - Slay out of this! I wanted Teo to come because he usually organizes our defense. But that's alright. I won't punish him for that. Sami, I can see what kind of man you are. I respect you. You're a man who came to talk to a man. Teo. You're going to practice tomorrow. - Thanks. - No problem. Okay, tell me. Maybe it's better if you don't contact me again, - at least not for therapy. Two Desperatas. Thanks. - Why not? - Because I'm not a therapist. Are you joking? I have a degree in social work. I worked as a school counselor for ten years. Now I have to clean. The day we met I was cleaning Anna-Liisa's office. I was trying on her clothes when you suddenly showed up. That's how I ended up playing the role of a therapist. I really wanted to help you. You're a nice man. I like you. I like you a lot. Please forgive me. The subject of this course is close to your hearts: Sexuality. - Isn't it close to your heart, too? - It is. - Julia doesn't give you any? - Julia does, but do I? Teo, did you get the book? - Did you? - I didn't have time. Well, I've been thinking - we could try to talk about the subject a bit more openly. We could discuss desires and wishes that are a bit more marginal. But we'll start by talking about the most common form, - the one without which mankind wouldn't exist. - Animal sex? - C'mon, guys. Goddammit, guys! Seriously, what do you know about sex? What do you know about love? What do you know about being a man or a woman - who longs to be touched? Tell me. Sami. I'd like to ask you for something. Please don't tell anyone what I did. - Why would I tell anyone? - I don't know. - It was a shitty thing to do. - Don't worry about it. Maarit. I'm teaching sexuality in health education. Would you be interested in telling me about yourself? I'd like to open my students' eyes to minorities. I don't feel like I'm part of a minority. - But we can try. - That would be great. I don't know how easy it will be to talk about my past with you. I had a crush on you. Call me tomorrow. WOMENS' SHELTER STAFF Your references look really good. There's just one thing. We Google our applicants for safety reasons, - but I couldn't find anything about Maarit Majantie. I changed my first name. It has to do with a process I've undergone recently. Regarding my sexual identity. Okay. But this process wouldn't stop you - from giving a hundred percent at work? I wouldn't have applied for this if it did. We're pretty open minded here, - but we'll still have to think about it. I'll need to talk to my boss. I'm sure you understand- that shelter workers face difficult situations at work. - I'll call you in any case. - Thanks. Good job, Teo! Hit the showers, guys! Good work. Who are you, by the way'? I'm an old friend of Sami's. Are you a psychologist or something? I heard you and Sami talk in my dad's pizzeria. You said something about therapy. I help Sami with the coaching stuff. Just between you and me. Don't get mad, but- 8P8 YOU a man OI' woman? What do you mean? - You kind of dig your body a little too much. The way Finnish women never do. Is there something wrong with my body'? Why shouldn't I dig it? Would it be better if I moved like a wrestler? - No. I just meant you have a cool vibe. So, where do you want to go? What do you want to know'? You could tell me how Maarit became Maarit. Okay. I remember sitting under the kitchen table when I was five. Abba's "Honey, Honey" was playing on the radio. I was looking at my mom's legs and suddenly I realized I'm a girl. I also realized I had to hide it from everyone. My sexual fantasies were really confusing for a long time. There were a lot of things I didn't even dare to think about. At sixteen I had a crush on a girl named Oona. We ended up in bed and I had this strange feeling - that I was a girl and Oona was a boy. And that it was okay for her, too. I felt somehow... liberated. And that I didn't have to be afraid of that feeling. There's something important you should understand. I've never wanted lobe cured of my feelings, - only of my body. I thought that maybe - I just wasn't trying hard enough to be a man. So I decided to try harder. I started taking soccer seriously. I enlisted in the army as a volunteer. I got married and started a family really quick. What about your wife? Did she knew'? I lived a double life successfully for over ten years. I loved my wife and daughter. But I knew I was lying to myself- in the most important area of my life. I longed to be touched, - but I couldn't let anyone touch me - because the body that longed for the touch didn't exist. Except if I faked it. I don't know if you understand. Maybe I do. Call me. What's going on'? Huh'? - I'm starting to think you have a mistress or something. Do you? No. - I started therapy. - Oh. That's great. Are you seeing Anna-Liisa'? I was going to, but then I... Would it be okay if this was my thing? At least tell me if it's a man or woman. - A woman. What's her name'? Maarit. - Watch out for transference. - Trans what? It's when the patient falls in love with the therapist. - Oh. Maarit is fifty and has a mustache, so you don't have to worry. Love can be blind to a mustache. That's what they say. Hello? Yes, I am. But that's my old name. Is it about my daughter? I'm sure you can tell me... I understand. I have Thursday off. I'll be there. - I'm here to see Officer Haapoja. - Third door on the left. Alright, Mauritz. Maarit. The thing is, after you left town, - we've heard people say all kinds of things. We ignored the talk for a long time. But not too long ago, - Matias Nykvist and his parents contacted us. Matias talked about an incident he witnessed on a school field trip. It had to do with you and his cousin Johannes. Matias came back to the sauna to get his towel. He heard you and Johannes talking in the dressing room. I remember that. Matias says you encouraged Johannes to become a homosexual. Is it true? - I have never encouraged anyone to do anything. I listened to what the teenagers had on their minds and- told them to think about their actions carefully. You already knew then that you were a transsexual, right? I'm transgender. - Are you interested in men or women or both? What are you getting at? Matias told us he stopped and listened to you - because it all started to sound so strange. - What did'? He heard heavy breathing. You whispered and Johannes breathed heavily. I comforted him. He wasn't breathing heavily. He was crying. Matias said he peeked through the window. You were holding Johannes in your arms - and Johannes was breathing heavily. - There was nothing sexual in it. - But you admit you touched him? - Yes, but... A young naked boy awakened the woman in you? I would never do anything like that! Why don't you ask Johannes? Johannes is dead. He was found three weeks ago under the bridge. When a young person takes his own life, - we start looking for reasons. And the most likely suspect is the person - who tried to help him, right'? At the moment we don't have the evidence to press charges. But we'll continue the investigation. If I were you, I'd choose my company carefully. May I come in? This is for you. The SIM card is inside. I'll pay the bills. Your mom told me not to call you. You might want to hide it and keep the volume off. I just came from the police station. They wanted to ask about Johannes Pyhnen. I didn't know he died. Johannes's cousin Matias has told lies to the police. And now they think I'm somehow guilty of his suicide. Even though it's just the opposite. - Did you ever talk to Johannes? - Sometimes. Pinja. I don't expect you to think of me as your father anymore. I mean, how could you. But there's one thing I want to tell you. Inside I'm the same person I've always been. Hi! Pinja, please go to your room. I can't look at you. - I didn't know whether to come as a man or a woman. - You shouldn't have come as either. - I had no choice. - How are you? - How am I? Just when the rumors stopped, they started up again. - Only this time it's worse. - They're lies. You know that. Talking is bad enough. No man is ever going to touch me. - Pirjo. - You have to go. And don't contact Pinja. This has been pure hell for her. Sorry. My boss gave me a hard time. It's 0-0. You didn't miss anything. Number 5 played in FC KaPs four years ago. I coached him. Wow. So you kind of discovered him. Sort of. Look! Nice being at a game. What kind of wine do you like'? I don't care. As long as it's red. I thought so. We'll only do what feels comfortable. Okay'? - Okay. He's a lot less inhibited and more active in bed. Although I'm a bit confused about him going to therapy, - but I'm also relieved. You sound as if something is still bothering you. I still don't enjoy it that much. With Sami. There's something between us. I just don't know if it's because of me or him. Other men look at you too Anyone can see it's true But this can work, I can reckon Won't leave you alone for a second Tell me. Did you say something to the police about my dad? Tell me what it was. Did my dad do something to Johannes? Or was it someone else? Your uncle, perhaps? Get the hell out of here. Pinja! I've sent you at least twenty text messages! I know why Johannes killed himself. Hello? Hi. - You remember me? - Sure. - How are you? - I'm good. You're a psychologist, right'? School counselor, actually. - Can I buy you a cup of coffee? - Okay. Let me guess. You want to talk about girls. Teo, you can ask me anything you want. - Hi. - Hi. Look. Girls are sending him smoke signals and he just sits alone. - I wonder what's wrong with him. - Maybe he likes boys more. He's not gay. He's just good-looking. Girls make him nervous. I'm not saying he doesn't like girls. That would be the worst alternative. What? - I read somewhere that bisexuals are the most deceptive. You may be right. That's a shame. In the old days, boys his age would go to a brothel - and professionals taught them how to satisfy a woman. Now we all sit on a therapist's couch. Are you seeing Maarit today? I hope it won't be another late night. - I saw your goalie today. - Teo'! I bumped into him at the railway station. He wanted to talk over coffee. You don't have to worry. He thinks we're just friends. - Does he know you're...? - He could tell right away. Unlike some. What did you talk about? He feels under pressure with sex. He likes girls, but he'd like to try all kinds of things. Group sex. Older women. Boys. Are you mad at me'? No. I miss my old job. That's why I wanted to talk with Teo. I understand that. - What are you doing next weekend? - Nothing special. Why? - It's my birthday. - How old will you be'? Twenty-eight. Last time you said you'd like to go somewhere with me. - Out of town. - Why not. I'll have to think about it. Do you have to work too hard at your dad's pizzeria? - No. Are girls teasing you? No. - Is Sami too hard on you in soccer? - No. Whatever it is, I won't accept this. You were one of my best students last year. You have to retake the test. Make sure you study hard. Okay? What did you tell your wife? I told her I'm going to see my old soccer buddies. That's true, in a way. I think that's enough. Happy birthday. Thanks. A GT for the lady. What would you like? - A vodka tonic, please. Here you go, Prince Valiant. The drinks are on the house. Thanks. We're in the company of friends. Let's go to our room. I'd like to dance some more. I'd like to go. Okay. - What happened? - Nothing. Seriously. If somethings bothering you, tell me. Okay. You intruded on my life pretty quickly. Sometimes I wonder... ...if you realize where your boundaries are. I want to live like everybody else. You can't expect people to think of you - as an ordinary person. - Who do you mean? - For example... You talked to Teo. - I haven't told him anything. I still don't think it was a good idea. You think I shouldn't have helped him? Are you afraid I'll spread some minority bacteria in your team? No, but ifs hard for him as it is. You might confuse him even more. Whoa. I thought you'd be the last person to think of me - as some sort of a threat. - Nice birthday party. - C'mon. What is it'? Okay. I'll tell you. This was a test. To see if you can relax with me a hundred kilometers from home. - You failed. - I'm not going to argue with you. When I met you and you told me about yourself, - I thought you were a good man. Sensitive, brave and genuine. You were a wreck and I helped you. But now that you got your erection back, thanks to me, - you changed. - That's bullshit. I wonder what you wanted from me after all. Are you one of those men who want to have sex with a freak- because they're so fucking sexually confused? Don't expect me to call you. Don't expect me to help you - when you call crying about your cold-hearted wife. I was ready to give you as much or as little as you wanted. I only wanted you to respect my feelings. Apparently it was too much to ask. Greece has weighed substantial budget cuts - that are required for the EU bailout loan. - Could you put music on? - The riots in Athens are... Any kind of music. Yes. Hi! I thought you were coming back tomorrow. I got tired of the guys horsing around. - Dad! - I'll be there in a minute. Do you love me? Of course. Why? Of course I love you. I'll go check on the kids. Oh, one thing. I quit therapy. Did you borrow mascara from your dad? Nice tranny look. Did your dad teach you how to put makeup on? Is she mute because he screwed her too? Didn't he like boys more? Look at her. 3Y9 bye. Excuse me. We met two weeks ago at Anna-Liisa's door. - I don't remember. - I do. Why did you tell me you were a therapist? Do therapists make so little money they have to clean loo? I know a thing or two about psychotherapy. But no, I'm not a licensed therapist. I have a feeling I need to talk to Anna-Liisa. Julia! - What's your name? - Maarit. Maarit Majantie. Maarit? Don't tell me you know my husband. Sami. My husband has been going to a therapist named Maarit. Did you tell him too you're a therapist? I told him the truth almost right away. And it pretty much ended then and there. What kind of therapy did you give him? Well, let's just say - I opened some emotional locks in him. I'm sure you've noticed them too. You're a cleaner. You want me to believe - that Sami has opened up about our marriage to you? Yeah. Or maybe he was interested in me only because - I'm a transgender woman. Teo, focus! Good job, Teo! Get it! Did you have sex with her'? Did you fuck her? Sami, why'; I thought we were both working to save our marriage. I thought you finally wanted me in bed. Now I have to go get tested for AIDS! - You don't have to worry about that. - For fuck's sake! That person is dangerous. She should be locked up. What were you thinking? I don't know. I've been pretty confused. How confused? Were you thinking of playing house with Maarit? And introducing her to our kids as their new stepmother? A freak like that would be happy - if she got to feel motherly feelings. - She has a child. That's fucking gross. You realize how repulsive you look to me now? Get out of here. Don't come back. We're done. You'll need a court order to see the kids. - Please. Get out! Go! Juliet? We were doing Romeo and Juliet in drama class. I was Juliet. Johannes was Romeo. "Juliet, I'll leave new. I can't stand my father anymore." "I guess you know what he does to me." "Make the play a good one." "And say hi to your dad in Helsinki." "He was the only one who tried to help me. - Romeo." Johannes gave this to you? I found it in my pocket after the last rehearsal. I wrote about it in my diary. I don't want to accuse anybody, - but I want people to stop telling lies about my dad. If it's okay with you, I'd like to keep this letter. Thanks. This is a very unfortunate situation for me as welt. I should actually report you to the police. But since this therapist or the couple you deceived - don't want to go to the police, - I'll temper justice with mercy. Why would you do something like that? You know this will affect your status as a job applicant, right? I'm really sorry. Don't pretend to be something you can't or don't want to be. And for the boys especially: Those oiled, shaved chicks on porn sites are far from reality. Sorry. Is anyone brave enough to tell us - what is the most important thing when two men and women have sex? I mean when two people, - a man and a woman, for example, have sex. Teo. Please tell us - what you think is the most important thing in sex. I don't know. Could it be... a good old anal fuck'? Do you have experience in the act you mentioned? I mean, it's a way for gay men - to show they want to be submissive to their partner. - Well, do you? - No. Then don't talk like that if you can't stand by your words. Maybe we'll discuss birth control next if there are no questions. Yes? - What about transsexuals? Where do you fuck them? - I don't know. - Are you sure? Teo. Out. Out! - My cell phone. - Don't even think about it. Out. Hi! You need a ride'? I'm a gentleman. You need extra money'? A hundred euros for fifteen minutes. My wife had a stroke a year ago. My evenings tend to be lonely. I've been thinking about finding someone for a long-term thing. But I don't want a Russian woman. I can't do this. Stop. Stop. Stop. If you need money, I can give it to you anyway. Yes? No, I'm not in a hurry. On the contrary. It would be different- if there was something disturbing in your appearance. But I see an educated person - with the right degree and experience for the job. So you don't see my sexual status as a problem? Our customers have other things to worry about. - Tell me something. Do you hate men? - No. I don't hate men. I just never felt I was one of them. That world was totally foreign to me. From the inside. I ask the same question from everyone. Anyone who works here must have their emotions in check. I think I can see things also from the man's point of view. I can imagine that. I've interviewed seven applicants. You seem the most experienced and motivated. When can you start? Is Monday okay? Eight o'clock? Yes. Good. I'll see you then. - Remember to bring your tax card. - I will. Mom, listen. I can't talk about Sami right now. Make sure the kids go to bed on time. Okay. - What are you doing here'? - Is Sami home? He doesn't live here anymore. He confiscated my phone. It'd be friggin' nice to have it back. You want to call someone? Yeah. My dad's waiting for me at the pizzeria. - Come on in. You look like a drowned rat. I'll throw your clothes in the dryer. - I'm okay. Take your jacket and jeans off. You'll get sick. I'm serious. I want the photos. You took photos of me. I want them deleted. Fine. Wait here. I'll be there in half an hour. Bye. Here you go. Now your pants are hot. What? Do you think I'm scary? As a woman. No. Not really. Good. Hold me. I've had a terrible week. You feel so good. Teo, I don't... I don't know... Okay, they're deleted. - Was there anything else? - You could apologize. Why should I apologize? Why the fuck did you tell Julia everything? Your wife told me she was going to the police. I couldn't protect you anymore and risk my reputation. It felt good, actually. I finally stood up for myself. You destroyed my marriage and my relationship with my kids! - And you're saying you felt good! - You knew what you got into. Don't tell me I ruined your marriage. You did that yourself. Fucking therapist! You're a real genius at Misting words! - Open the door! - Sami, calm dawn! Sami! Sami, listen! Sami, calm down! - Can't you see what you lured me into? - You ruined my life! - Listen! Sami. Hitting me doesn't change the fact that you had a crush on me. Are you okay'? Are you? Yeah. See you at school. See you at school. Pinja. - Does your mom know you're here? - I called her from the train. I would've fixed myself up if I knew you were coming. You don't have to change clothes back and forth. You must be hungry. You've been sitting on the train all night. I'll get my coat and we'll go to the mall and get something. Don't go anywhere. I came to get my work stuff, if that's okay. I was hoping things wouldn't end this way. What I said about the kids... of course they need their father. As hard as this is, at the same time I'm relieved. We don't have to act happy anymore. The rumors about you and Johannes. They stopped. - How come? - Well, they just did. Rumors don't just stop. I showed the police a letter Johannes wrote a day before he died. Johannes told a thing or two about his dad. You went to the police station? To defend me? Yes. Dad, your makeup is running. Proofread by Rich Lyons |
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