KHANDAANI SHAFAKHANA
Did you know that most
couples in our country...
...still suffer from
sexual dissatisfaction?
Unemployment, social unrest
and economic turmoil...
...aren't caused by individuals,
the state or government...
...but by society at large.
But the biggest disease
that plagues our society...
...is the lack of marital bliss.
Those suffering from premature
ejaculation, erectile dysfunction...
...low sperm count or
impotence needn't lose hope.
Bringing his family's age-old traditional
expertise from Lahore, Mamaji!
The head of the Hindustani Unani Medicine
College and Research centre, Mamaji!
The man who has given many famous
personalities a healthy life, Mamaji!
This makes your life young and blissful.
By drinking this your love
life becomes amazing.
To get back that lost spark...
...visit today! Located
near Hoshiarpur's clock tower...
Mamaji's Khaandaani
Shafakhana (Sex clinic)!
Look, Hakim Tarachand...
We had heard of you corrupting
students with your filth...
But now you've crossed all limits.
You're spreading this smut on TV!
You think sex education is smut?
Listen, you can't use such
obscene words in this meeting!
Like what?
Education?
No... Ummm....
The one before that.
The obscenity is in your minds!
Sure, we have dirty minds...
But what about the media?
Or is all of society corrupted,
other than you?
This country's culture
and morals have gone for a toss.
In the name of culture, you're
making a mountain out of a molehill!
See, he's making dirty puns again!
People have lost faith
in Unani medicine anyway...
But you couldn't care less!
Sir, I've given 25 years of my life...
...my blood and sweat
to Unani medicine.
You've disgraced us!
You're hereby expelled from
the Hindustani Unani research centre.
You may speak or write
as you please now...
We cannot have you associated with
this reputed institution any more.
That's it.
Exactly.
Sources reveal that this
man who publishes obscene material...
...had been practicing
as a quack for many years.
Big breaking news!
The man peddling sleaze under
the guise of medical practice exposed!
"Educator turns Predator!"
Crosses all limits of obscenity!
This man has been boycotted
for playing with public.
The next song you hear...
...in the voice of Punjab's banging
young heartthrob, Gabru Ghatak!
Song requested by -
Ludhiana's Sukhwinder Singh...
...Hoshiarpur's Baby Bedi...
...and Ajrar's MIntoji-
Presenting this bomb of a song!
"Coz ya know... "
"Coz ya know... "
"Bring that back! "
"Yeah she's got herself
All of Chandigarh chasin' her"
"Sweet sixteens to their thirties
They're all charmed by her"
"She glides on the roads pacing"
"Got the boys' pulses racing"
"Wait up baby, take a breath! "
"Yeah take a breath"
Today, I have a house,
a scooter, and a happy family.
They all have cellphones
with unlimited data packs.
But that's not my idea of success.
Success to me is when I see
their eyes well with pride for me.
My brother doesn't have to work.
- Why?
- Why should he?
When there's passive
income coming in comfortably...
...why bother the prince of the house?
Herbal is the future of pharma.
What's the point of
selling these medicines?
- What's the point?
- Exactly! There's no point-
On point! That's how Medi-pharma's
representatives should be!
Look at you new trainees
waddling around with pamphlets...
Boss, ask them if they know
Doctor Bindra's three 'why's?
Why should doctor honour
his prescription with your medicine?
Why should he give
time and listen to you?
Why should he use your company pen?
Why do you smell like a dustbin?
Miss Baby, that's four whys.
Go take a bath first!
Boss, what kind of boys
are you hiring these days?
They'll drive the
company to the ground.
I'll teach them how
sales are made. Come on!
"Just take a breath"
"Just take a breath"
Put the brakes.
"Yeah she's busy plotting plans"
- Get a side.
- "But she's never on time"
"But when she'll meet your eyes"
"She'll cause a traffic jam"
"Baby's crazy, yo! "
"She dances in the club"
"And her moves are sick"
"She's the center of the hub"
"She's a bit of a thug"
"A cuss in every line she says"
"She ain't no sparkler or bomb"
- Don't talk nonsense with me.
- "She's a fireworks display! "
- Keep it down.
- BOOM.
[Bring that back]
[Oh]
"All of Amritsar's her shindig"
"The boys they're spinnin'
With all her diggin"
"This strapping young Gabru
Has fallen for you"
"Don't be so rude, you
Be tender or I'll rue"
"The world's running on your fuel"
"But what you sayin' with your eyes"
"No one got a goddamn clue"
"Wait up Baby, take a breath!"
"Yeah, take a breath"
"It's your boy Gabru"
"Yeah take a breath"
You sell your own medicines.
Why criticize ours?
Because our medicines are better.
- Their company is also better.
- What rubbish.
Doctor, get two glasses
of water and you'll see...
Whose medicine gets
mixed and whose gets nixed!
What will that prove?
What?
Doctor, tell him...
what it will prove?
Do it and prove.
Okay, tell me what this proves?
You don't know?
Let our star representative explain.
Sir I was bluffing to make a sale.
A bluff is a bluff, if it succeeds...
What you did isn't bluffing,
it's buffoonery!
Shut up!
God save us.
I keep asking for her photos
to find her a match,
but she never sends them!
Don't mind me saying this,
but Baby's a total liar!
Baby, what's your Uncle saying?
You haven't emailed your photos?
I told you to send the
ones from Sheetu's wedding.
But Mom, you're in them too!
So what if I'm in them?
What if they fancy you instead?
Oh God... It's all a joke to you!
Hello? Why do you need her photo now?
I've created Baby's profile
on a matrimonial website.
Forget Hoshiarpur, she'll be flooded
with proposals from all of Punjab now!
You wait and watch!
Show her the guy in the pink shirt.
So smart, I tell you!
Looks just like Al Pacino!
- Really?
- Yes!
Look.
What? Why are you laughing?
He's handsome!
Mom, you married such
a handsome man like Dad...
And I get this scarecrow? Why?
Go to hell.
You just don't want to get married!
Really?
If I get married and go,
who'll run the house? This slob?
And how will we afford
another wedding?
Why? Your uncle helped
us with Sheetu's wedding...
He'll sponsor yours too!
Your brother-in-law
isn't that generous!
He won't even donate blood for free,
let alone sponsor my wedding.
Wait a minute. What do you mean?
Don't act so nave, Uncle.
It's barely been a
month since the wedding...
...and you're already
calculating interest.
Forget it, it's useless trying.
She wants to remain a spinster.
No one cares about me in this house!
Got the youngest sister married first...
now you are after the eldest one.
No one spares a thought for this
eligible lad sitting unhitched at home!
Oh God! Take me with you!
Hold on a minute, Mom.
Sheetu's nine months younger than me,
and you got her married first.
- Listen...
- Wait a minute, Uncle.
Imagine the things they must
be saying about me in the family.
Don't get stressed, my dear.
There's no hurry.
Pay me back comfortably
after three months. Okay?
It's lakhs of rupees, Uncle.
How can I pay it back in three months?
I'm just not destined for happiness!
Take your time... Or you
could sell me this outhouse...
Simple!
Don't say that, Uncle.
This home is all we are left with...
The only memory of
Dad we can hold on to.
Look Baby,
I don't beat around the bush.
If you can't pay the loan, never mind.
Take some more money and
get a big house in the village.
I'll open a small boutique
for my daughter Chinki here.
Yes, it's Baby.
What?
This morning at
Hoshiarpur's Clock Tower...
...a man named Jhalla Halwai shot and
killed Hakim Tara Chand AKA Mamaji.
The incident took a curious turn when
Jhalla Halwai surrendered to the police...
...claiming that he was
suffering from a sexual disorder...
...and that Mamaji's
medicine ruined his life.
Mama was a very dangerous man!
His medicine turned me into Don Juan!
Women couldn't resist me!
Ladies going left,
ladies going right...
They kept banging
into me in the center!
One day, my wife Gulaabo caught
me with Mrs Dhillon, our neighbour.
She sent me divorce
papers the very next day!
I lost my mind...
I took my gun, went straight
to Mama's house and shot him!
His medicine still hasn't worn off!
Mama, I'll destroy your entire clan!
Let me find him
and then I will not spare him.
Jhalla Halwai is said
to be mentally unsound.
He has been sent to
Amritsar Mental Hospital...
...and the next court
hearing has been deferred.
The board has said that until he
is mentally stable, the next hearing--
How many stale marriages
Mamaji helped flourish...
That's something only he knew...
or his patients.
There was magic in his medicine.
I arranged the funeral.
I'll organize a prayer meet too.
As his sister,
I'll fulfill all my responsibilities.
But let me make it clear...
We had nothing to do with
him or that clinic of his.
What do you mean?
I've had my eye on
his business for so long.
I had many brilliant
business ideas too!
What kind of ideas?
Sir, sexology is one
hell of a crooked business.
Populations thrive on sex, and this
business thrives on the lack of it.
Which is why I designed
the 'NRI' scan machine!
NRI?
No Response Indicator machine.
Take two wires from a circuit
and put it in the patient's pants.
Attach a meter and press a button.
A red bulb will light up.
Red light means no response...
Human organ used only for 'pee-pee'!
That's it!
Prescribe pills and mint money...
And till the light doesn't turn green,
continue the treatment!
But when does the light turn green?
Never! The wire isn't connected
to the circuit... High five!
Have some shame!
Anyway, for you... Here's
Mamaji's one and only will.
Show me!
Mamaji has named Baby Bedi the
sole heir to his Khandaani Shafakhana.
- What?
- Why?
Baby Bedi will be entitled
to Khandaani Shafakhana...
...the property of 307,
Clock Tower Bazaar...
...and all the income it generates.
You mean we can sell
this property too?
Not 'we', just you.
But there are a few conditions.
You can sell this property six months
from the date of Mamaji's death...
...but before that,
you must run this clinic for 6 months.
- Me?
- Her?
You need to ensure that Mamaji's
patients get their medicines.
Mamaji didn't want his
regular patients to feel...
...that the clinic
has died along with him.
Tagra says...
...go to the clinic at 9 am sharp,
and be there till 5 pm.
But Mr Tagra how can I run the clinic
without a medical degree or license?
Do you think Mamaji was a dunderhead?
For the smooth functioning
of the clinic, it is very important
for you to appoint
a professional doctor.
The doctor's salary can
be paid from the clinic's income.
And from where do I get a doctor?
That's between Mamaji and you.
This is unfair! I give all
the ideas and she gets the clinic?
The clinic needs
ideas with experience!
See! Everyone thinks
I lack (s)experience!
That's why I say, get me married.
Doesn't matter - your ideas
are banned... No entry!
I had heard that lawyers are
shameless, but now I've seen it too!
You have no qualms saying
such things in front of two ladies!
- What?
- Don't act so innocent!
You know what kind
of clinic it is, right?
Would you discuss such
things with your daughters?
Look Madam,
I am a legal representative.
Whether you want to keep
or sell the property is your call.
You can decide by the
time the last rites are over.
There's nothing to decide!
We don't need his charity.
Don't call again, or
I'll slap a case on you!
Have a good day!
Come on Baby.
Get up Bhooshit!
As if he hasn't given
me enough troubles already.
[PUSHPA HERBAL]
Yeah, keep chilling like a queen.
You didn't pay my phone bill...
3G, 4G, PubG... Everything's gone!
Have a blast!
I'm seeing you after ages, Chinki!
Wait, I'll get you a chair.
It will be perfect.
We'll install a few
sewing machines here...
And over there?
A big signboard that
says 'Chinki's Boutique'!
Thank you Papa!
God bless you, my child.
How can I just leave everything
and sit at Mamaji's clinic?
- Does it make any sense?
- No, it doesn't.
Careful, sir.
Mamaji's gone now...
Just transfer the property in my name.
No one will know!
Madam Baby, the sanctity of this will
is unquestionable and indisputable!
And kindly note,
the Hindustani Unani Research Centre...
...also has an
interest in this property.
Who are these new stakeholders now?
You'll come to know in good time.
But if you back out and don't
fulfill the terms and conditions...
...the property will go to
the Hindustani Unani research centre.
Kindly note it.
Look what you've done!
Sorry...
Hey, man listen.
Oh my dear!
A car just hit my friend...
can you please help me?
The doctor gave this long prescription
and I have no money. Please?
- Are you Rukhsar?
- Shabnam.
This is a prescription
for Herpes!
Hey, get the lady a glass of juice.
Thank you.
Ever got your liver checked?
Pray, why?
Next. Shabnam.
- Yes.
- You go.
You again!
We're together.
Come...Does it hurt a lot? Come.
Hey, listen...
Hey!
Steer clear of alcohol.
Take this medicine for fifteen
days and come back for a check-up.
Miss Baby...
- Yes.
...Business and charity
must be kept separate.
Sir, how can I can afford
charity if there's no business?
Don't mind.
The salts are all
basically the same...
But my patients might say-
God knows which company's
medicines this old man prescribes!
Sir, firstly- you don't look old.
Thanks.
And secondly,
companies don't make medicines.
It's the medicine that
makes the company.
Oh, same thing.
Same thing?
Of course, same thing!
She diagnosed my problem
just by looking at my face...
How can you doubt her?
Relax...
Sir, have you heard of Kattar Singh?
Kattar Singh?
Sir, Kattar Singh was
a poor potter from Kapurthala.
Every week, he sat and make pots...
...and then carried them on
his donkey to sell at the bazaar.
For his meals, he made 'laddoos'
of edible gum and flour.
He ate those and fed
them to his donkey as well.
Is he our patient?
I don't know.
Sir, one day he couldn't
sell a single pot.
Chinese pots had entered the market...
They were stronger and cheaper.
The traders told him -
get pots like these, or get lost.
Moved by his master's plight,
the donkey began to cry.
He cried so much...that
he pooped in despair.
As luck would have it, his
potty fell right on the potting clay.
And something miraculous happened.
The combination of the poop
and clay worked like magic...
...and the pots became unbreakable!
Kattar's pots began to
outsell the Chinese ones.
Business multiplied and soon Kattar
had four new servants and donkeys.
But the old donkey
never forgot his duty.
Every morning he would dutifully
go and poop on the clay...
...and Kattar would make
unbreakable pots out of it.
Then one day,
the donkey got constipated.
Shit!
No Sis, no shit!
The treatment was expensive.
The servant said, "Sir, are you
crazy to spend this much on a donkey?"
It's just a matter of poop.
Till the donkey doesn't, I'll do it.
And Katti fell into the trap.
The poor donkey died
of constipation...
...and the wise-ass servant's
folly made Katti's business go kaput.
So?
So, what's the moral of the story?
All salts might be the same...
...but all medicines aren't.
What a man! He is a genius.
They're putting germs
into each other mouths.
Germs?
Of course. It can cause ulcers.
Why are you so pissed?
Didn't get your salary today?
Salary?
My butt goes numb riding this
scooter around all day...
And what do we get?
A measly commission.
Mista-Sista... Be positive!
HIV positive,
TB positive, Malaria positive...
Medicine is the only field
where 'positive' means bad news.
You're just sour because
you couldn't become a doctor.
If I didn't have to look after
you guys, I would've become a doctor.
I'll have to try something else now.
So why don't you?
I'm a staunch 'feminine' at heart.
Girls should be at the
forefront when it comes to work.
I'll go run Mamaji's clinic.
Have you gone bonkers?
That's no place for a girl!
Really! Didn't you just say
girls should be at the forefront?
I could say Jennifer Lawrence
is my girlfriend. So what?
Uncle's going to throw us out of our
house and turn it into Chinki's boutique.
They'll get us on the streets.
What will we do then?
Think of it...
It's prime property in
the city's busiest market.
Selling the clinic
will get us big bucks.
I got the property's
value estimated...
It's worth ten million!
Ten million!
You aren't lying, right?
I'll get myself
those fancy headphones then!
Firstly, I want to fling
Uncle's money at his face.
And then, fix the interiors...
get a room built on the terrace...
...with an attached bathroom.
And then I won't
sell medicines anymore.
I'll rent a warehouse and
start a Pushpa Herbal franchise.
Groovy!
But wait a minute...
Who will go to the office?
- You!
- Me?
You've grown into a hulk...
Will you keep sitting
on that fat ass forever?
I've arranged for your training
in office, and you're going to work.
And what will be your
excuse for not going to office?
I'll take sick leave.
For six months?
Tagra says, keep a supply
of munchies, to pass the time.
Mamaji didn't watch TV, so...
Don't bother about
all these nincompoops.
Just get through six months.
That's it.
There's no one in the
biz with our kinda fizz!
Hoshiarpur's world-famous
soda-lemonade...Specially for you!
Bottle lemon.
Oh, Lemon-hero!
150 Rupees per selfie!
A fine young boy!
Foreigners call him the 'Lemon-hero'.
He doesn't cut lemons...
...punctures holes in them and
squeezes them with his bare hands.
Very powerful.
He's my informant.
Informant?
What time you come to the clinic...
...and when you leave - I'll
get a complete report from him.
Chhotu, catch it.
Keep a watch!
Mr. Mehta, where does
picture release on Saturday?
Okay, fine.
Hello.
That's Mr Jiya Lal...
He's brother-in-law's uncle.
Ah, the Market President!
He is a member of the family?
That's very very good. Come on.
You belong to a respectable family.
What's this shady business
you are getting into?
It's just... a formality.
Madam Baby...I don't
have all day with me.
Please come.
Okay then, have a good day!
Hello.
Carry on!
Where's the doctor?
He must be on his way.
I've hired him part-time.
Here's the register on the table...
...with the names of Mamaji's regular
patients, their numbers and reports.
And behind you is the laboratory...
The garden where so many
wilted flowers bloomed again...
There's a jar for each patient...
Mamaji left behind small
doses for each patient...
Tagra says, open the register,
contact the patients...
And get them their medicines.
Simple.
Dangal Sethi, Noordev Noori...
Tagra!
Anything else?
I often wondered...
What will happen when
Mamaji isn't around?
Your treatment won't stop
Khubi Ram ji, that's for sure!
Don't feel that because Mamaji is no
more, the clinic will shut down. Okay?
Don't you worry.
Last month's report.
Khubiram Report...
1 September - 25 minutes,
27 seconds...
2 September - 25 minutes, 28 second...
4 September to 13 September - blank...
The holy festival was on, you see.
The thing is,
Mamaji made me keep a daily record...
Of my timing!
How long I took to the finishing line.
Who is it?
I'm Shyama, the wrestler.
You must be having my case history...
Yes.
Mamaji has only written
four lines on your page.
What does it say?
"A hip toss in the mud,
he can give you the chokeslam..."
Right! Mamaji was a
big fan of my wrestling!
"Poor Shyama on a love-ride..."
"Crashed the dingy,
before he could wham-bam!"
It crashed?
Oh no, Mamaji had
a wicked sense of humour.
Actually, years back on
my wedding night, the bed broke...
And I suffered an
unfortunate fracture.
What can I say...
One must be careful.
Hey Blunder-baby!
What is it?
Why are you sulking?
I've never felt this jobless.
How anyone can
feel jobless in this day and age...
Just log onto Facebook or Whatsapp!
Such a big clinic, you can easily
get two weeks' worth of selfies...
...If you are creative enough.
Shyama the wrestler...
Tell me, how can a wrestler
have such a thin leg?
Don't laugh!
I've arranged for a doctor.
For how much?
Ten thousand.
Ten thousand!
Where will I get the money?
Dude spends 15 years
earning all his degrees...
...and you expect him
to not even charge ten?
You won't find a cheaper
doctor at a flea market!
You have no idea of the market.
Bhooshi, just get lost.
Please.
Hello.
Yes, I've seen the
pictures of the warehouse.
You wait, I'll be there right away.
No, you wait there, I'll reach soon!
Oh no, the girl has got trapped.
I didn't realize it's
already 5 pm, Chhotu!
Boss, are you hallucinating?
It's not 5 yet.
No, really? Strange, isn't it?
Deepu Palta.
Have you got the fees?
I've got a jar full, Ma'am. Fresh ghee.
Mamaji used to love it!
A clinic runs on fees, not ghee.
Understood, ma'am.
Very well. Get the fees, then.
You can't be Mamaji's replacement.
He never spoke to me this way.
He said, 'Deepu, even if I'm gone,
your medicine will reach you'.
Good day.
Hold on!
Sit.
What's this?
Wiggle-wiggle.
Wiggle-wiggle?
Mamaji asked for it every month...
My sperm sample... Wiggle-wiggle.
Okay then.
Have a good day.
Mummy, get it already!
Hold on!
Pour some ghee on it.
Yummy, so pure!
He's just like his father.
His parathas were always coated with
ghee, shining like a bald man's pate!
That's how Baby got
all of this baby fat.
Shut up.
You've become thin as a reed...
Never eating on time! Here, eat some.
- Mom, I don't want to have this!
- Come on, eat!
I'm not feeding you poison.
Ah well... At least Mamaji
did something right.
Actually, Doctor Bindra's
Mamaji (Uncle) owns a dairy farm.
So as a bonus, he distributed
ghee to all employees.
He's a bit cuckoo.
Aha... Something smells delicious!
Feasting on ghee early
in the morning, mom?
You're here alone again?
Where's Hubby dear?
We were out distributing
invitation cards.
It's my sister-in-law's baby shower.
So I told him to pick
me up on the way back.
Ah, good you came.
Will you have paranthas?
No, not paranthas.
I want Maggi... Mom's special.
Can one put ghee in Maggi?
Why not!
[prayer]
Hello.
Do you come to pray daily?
Occasionally.
And does your family
know where you go after prayers?
Yes, they do.
Your mother knows too?
Of course she knows.
Would you like some Prasad?
No thanks, I'll help myself.
Good day.
Do you want to put it on rent?
No.
So do you want to sell it then?
Yes, but after four months.
I thought you're
looking for a tenant...
"The lamps were burning."
From that I will...
Greetings.
"Even after dying"
"I come to your place."
"I offer prayers."
"I offer prayers."
"I burn the wick of lamp."
"I offer prayers."
Take it easy, boy!
Go slow. You'll break all the bottles.
Move it a bit,
I'll get a back spasm this way.
Just hold that spasm back for a bit.
Where's the doctor?
There's no hiding from the law...
...Better watch out!
Oh pretty boy!
Hey bro!
Look, petty hawkers are
trying to set-up fancy shops now!
Bro, you can take a
businessman off the street...
...but you cannot take the
street out of the businessman!
What are you staring at me for?
Move that board!
- Come on.
- Chhotu... Move it to the side.
Boss?
Just do it.
Be careful.
It's okay, chill.
Yes, it's Baby...
Who the hell have you sent here!
What happened, boss?
Instead of selling
medicines to doctors...
...he's convincing healthy
people that they're sick!
And today he just crossed the limit!
In the waiting room, he proposed
marriage to a chicken pox patient!
One minute...
Hold on... listen to me!
I would never... One minute!
I thought you were
flashing your dimples.
You can't tell the difference
between a pimple and a dimple?
One minute...
Shame on you, harassing a woman!
Hold on... listen to me!
Bhooshit, not again!
Dr Bhatti is in charge
of six villages.
Our company's reputation
will be ruined!
Boss, don't worry.
I'll apologise to Dr Bhatti.
Yes, I'll go right away.
Look at you sitting pretty...
Is it your Daddy's throne?
Move... Move away!
- Stop...
Move away!
Get a side. You fool...
Hey, Gabru.
Gabru Ghatak?
'Ghatack'!
Gabru Ghatack!
This Nancy already looks like a brute...
and his overgrown whiskers
makes it worse.
Oh God.
I would've made a silent entry,
but the dogs saw him and freaked out.
You were coming to the clinic too?
The media are such rascals.
You never know when,
where and why they're on your trail.
Mamaji was very secretive about me.
If only he left your medicine behind.
No, no, no... Miss Babes, no!
What happened?
Miss Babes, these aren't just tears,
they're a man's tears.
The don't flow so easily.
And these aren't mere words...
They're a man's words?
No!
I'll feel like a man only
after I take Mamaji's medicine!
Till then, I'm just a patient
of erectile dysfunction!
I'll give you anything you want.
Mamaji's medicine turned
this wimp into the stud Gabru...
I don't want to go
back to being poor ol' Gunnu Bassi!
Doctor, please get me my medicine!
Okay fine, stop crying now.
- You'll pay the fees, right?
- Babes...
...need you ask?
I'll perform at your
wedding for free if you want!
As if I didn't have enough troubles
already, you left me with this mess!
"Baby's got nothing better to do,
I'll tempt her with the property...
... and she'll mop up the clinic!"
What a plan!
Where the hell is this medicine?
Hello Miss!
Here comes the spy.
I heard loud sounds
in the middle of the night...
...so I thought I'd come by to check.
What happened?
Looking for something?
Can't find what I'm looking for...
... but I keep finding
reasons to leave this place.
You came here with such bravado.
Giving up so soon?
Ah, you're one to talk.
I saw your bravado this morning.
If I were in your place, I'd smash
that bully's jaw by now.
Move aside.
Sometimes true grit lies in holding
your nerve than picking a fight.
They're been trying to
elbow me out of here for ages...
They'll eventually tire out,
but I won't budge.
I didn't become 'world-famous' in
Hoshiarpur just like that!
If you can hold your nerve,
good for you.
What do I do?
Run this clinic... for six months?
Some give blessings as payment,
some offer peanuts and some give ghee.
The only patient
who can pay good money...
...his medicine is nowhere to be found.
And the other medicines
will soon be over.
What will I do then?
Please go and tell Mr Tagra
that Baby has left. I'm done here.
That is enough.
I could've told Mr Tagra
long back, if I wanted to.
But I wasn't interested
in spying on you.
In fact, I kept wondering -
why did Mamaji choose you?
I could never figure it out.
Maybe you should think about it.
You found reasons to leave...
Perhaps you will
find one to stay, too.
Son, the problem always lies between
the ears, not between the legs.
The body can relax only if
the mind is at ease, right?
Mamaji!
Wow...
How beautiful!
Mamaji I want to draw in your book!
Oh no, sweetie...
This isn't a drawing book,
it's your Mamaji's guidebook.
The names of various ailments,
their symptoms and remedies...
I've written it all in here.
If I read this,
I'll become a doctor too!
Doctor... or a Hakim!
Mamaji
Have a look. It's done.
Sheesh! Mamaji,
they got the spelling wrong!
Dumbo! How could you
turn an E into an I?
I... I thought you must
have written it by mistake.
Write it properly.
S-E-X, sex!
Shush my dear... It's a dirty word.
Tell me something, son...
From where were you born?
From Mommy's tummy.
And how did you get there?
You're saying such things,
Mamaji... in front of a little girl?
It's the reason we all exist...
And you label it as dirty?
Mamaji, but how does it happen?
I will tell you.
You go and get that corrected.
Trying to be too modern! The
things he says in front of that child!
Come
Look at this plant.
When you sow a seed into the earth,
a plant is born.
Just like that...
Oh no! I swallowed a few
watermelon seeds this morning...
Will I become a Melon-mommy?
No my dear! Let me explain.
This uncle and this aunty...
Baby!
Have you no shame?
Talking nonsense in front
of such a small girl.
Mother.
Bringing her to this clinic.
- Come on.
- I don't want to go home!
Dare not come here again.
No... I don't want to go home!
Come on, let's go!
Mamaji, say something.
Let's go!
I don't want to go home!
Mamaji!
Mamaji!
Uncle, you know what's more
lucrative than planning weddings?
Being Baby-Shower specialists.
There's a baby born every
minute in Hoshiarpur...
...imagine, how many
Baby showers in a month!
And we won't organize such
boring functions.
There'll be a cake, a DJ,
balloons and confetti, the works!
It will be a full-blown party,
like it happens abroad.
Forget bananas and samosas...
We'll serve macaroni...
Hello.
"My lover came and took away my heart."
"Then I start laughing."
What amount did you bring as a gift?
Five hundred and one rupees...
Might as well give nothing!
This is the limit.
I'm already facing taunts
thanks to Baby, and now you...
What did Baby do now?
Sheetu, can you make
yourself a little useful?
I'll be right there!
Please just handle
my mother-in-law for now.
"In the center I put flowers."
"If my lover does not come
then I shall find him in all lanes."
"My lover came and took away my heart."
"Then I start laughing."
Sheetu, get Auntie Kunti here.
"Don't come at night."
Yes.
Congratulations.
Get the baby boy!
Yes, get him quickly.
Sheetu wait, get the baby.
Here he comes.
Baby boy.
Ooh what happened?
Such a pretty dress!
May God shield you from evil eyes.
Take baby and touch your head.
Come, come.
He peed, the little brat!
It's supposed to be good luck!
Glory to the Goddess!
Hello.
"The red bangles make a sound."
Your Baby's making a mess...
and you just stand and watch!
Get rid of this filth now!
Coming, aunt.
Stupid.
Stop here.
Mom, why have you gone silent?
Mom, say something!
What do I say?
Didn't we talk about this?
Why did you still go there?
For the greed of money?
Is money more important
than our reputation?
When do we ever actually talk?
Everyone just speaks their mind...
Who ever listens to another
person in this house?
Fine. I'm listening. Go on, speak.
Say what?
Had dad left us in this hole?
That's where he left us!
Uncle hogged everything for
his family, and what are we left with?
Luckily this property
has fallen in our lap...
...and I should let it go, just
to preserve our hollow reputation?
All your father left me with,
was our family name.
Even if I were penniless, 'Mrs Bedi'
could command respect from people.
But today at Sheetu's house,
that Mrs Bedi was reduced to nothing.
Look, I don't beat around the bush.
I've seen scientific
proof on Youtube...
After a certain age, if a woman stays
unmarried, naturally her brain...
Excuse me, Baby.
My friend has a younger brother...
Handsome-
It's a clear deal.
If you marry him,
he'll settle your debt with interest.
Then keep this outhouse if you want.
Excuse me, uncle.
Take a right.
Right?
Idiot.
Wrong!
Fool.
- You'll still go to the clinic?
- Are you a fool?
I'll definitely go now.
I'll get all the money and
shove it right in Uncle's face.
If the property sells, that is.
Nothing will happen.
That place is cursed.
In all these months, what
did you earn from the clinic? Zero.
Money will come...
If I can make Gabru's medicine.
If you can make his medicine!
Now you'll make medicines?
Found one homo pop-star
and you think you're a doctor?
What's this homo-homo nonsense?
He has a problem.
Have you seen the
chicks in his videos?
If he prances with such
hot babes and still can't get it up...
...he's definitely homo!
And so what if he is!
We are all Homo-pride.
Mista-Sista!
Tell me if you want to try my idea...
I'll get you Gabru's
medicine right away.
And how will you do that?
Wait and watch!
Come one, come all!
Don't be dejected.
This is such a powerful drug,
It will turn you into
Sylvester Stallone...
You'll bang a dozen alone!
Knockout.
This is Goga Bangali's challenge!
Look here.
Give a dose of this to any fella,
He'll turn into a wild gorilla!
Baba hides nothing, you'll see it all!
Eyes forward.
Our ingredients are strong,
they'll make you last really long!
I'm making this before your eyes,
It will fill your life
with fire and spice!
Like a lion you shall roar,
your love life shall soar!
Just take Baba's magic drug...
The ladies will keep coming back...
For more and more and more!
Don't depress,
don't cry, wet your dry..
Our magic medicine is legit,
you'll get it in just a bit!
Don't be afraid my boy,
your lady will scream with joy.
Goga Bengali is in front of you.
Mix and grind a bunch of shit...
Mamaji made medicines the same way.
Buy it for just 50 bucks and
sell it at a fat profit to your Gabru.
Shut up.
Fresh! This is the fresh
material from the Himalayas!
I'm Goga Bangali...
MBBS, BMS, SHS in 'secret disease'!
Look, the secret sauce is ready!
Here it is in a jug...
But relax, don't chug.
Here try some.
Don't get excited.
If you take too much,
It'll ruin everything.
Very little.
Take this medicine.
You will get well soon.
Wait, let me get the medicine at least!
This is nonsense.
Will he give medicine now?
Formula of medicine.
Some leaf...
"Soaring dreams"
"Float in your eyes"
"Touch the skies"
"Flying in the wind"
"Soaring dreams"
"Float in your eyes"
"Touch the skies"
"Flying in the wind"
"They come, they go"
"They show the way"
"They come, they go"
"They show the way"
"Look at the birds"
"Take flight and soar away!"
"Take flight and soar away!"
To treat any ailment properly,
you need to diagnose it first.
Along with the patient's pulse...
...one must observe
their eyes and face as well.
- Who is it?
- Bhooshit!
Yeah, I'm Bhooshit, but why're
you looking at me so creepily?
I was just looking!
Why? Am I a pimple that you're
staring at me so intensely?
Oh God.
Oh God.
"Take flight and soar away!"
"Take flight and soar away!"
Hypothyroidism...
Sinus...
High blood pressure...
Constipation...
Erectile dysfunction...
Pervert!
Very cute...
"We lose our way without a guide"
"Destinations go out of sight"
"We lose our way without a guide"
"Destinations go out of sight"
"Of what use is this life..."
"Of what use is this life..."
"If you aren't allowed to dream?"
"Take flight and soar away!
"Take flight and soar away!
"Take flight and soar away!"
"Take flight and soar away!"
Ready?
Not all Unani medicines
are prepared so fast.
Sometimes it can even take days.
By ready, I meant if
you're ready to become a Hakim!
Hakim Baby Bedi?
Dr. Baby Bedi?
Hello Doctor
Hello, Good morning Hakim ji..
Are you Doctor Baby Bedi?
Or are you Hakim Baby Bedi?
"Gained knowledge from ancient texts"
"I invested my blood and sweat"
"Gained knowledge from ancient texts"
"I invested my blood and sweat"
"Sea-waves crashed over the shore"
"And washed what destiny had in store"
"For those who toil
patient through the night"
"For those who toil
patient through the night"
"Dawn shall usher
in the morning light"
"Take flight and soar away!"
"Take flight and soar away!"
"Take flight and soar away!"
"Take flight and soar away!"
Babes...
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure. Why?
Well, you said that Mamaji
didn't leave my medicine behind...
So this... I mean, my treatment?
It doesn't matter who provides
the medicine - Mamaji or I...
Ultimately, it's God who heals.
Let's get it started now.
Yes, Baby speaking...
Babes... What have you done!
Mr Gabru... What happened?
Today after you gave
me the medicine...
(Gibberish)
I was blown!
Mr Gabru, I don't understand...
Speak clearly. What happened?
It was amazing.
I'll take the medicine later...
but when I heard you speak today...
I felt Mamaji's presence.
Thanks Doctor Babes...
God bless you.
Take it.
Here.
Where's yours?
Nah, I don't drink soup.
It's healthy.
Try some at least? Take a sip...
How is it?
I'll get some.
Give me one more.
My dear, what is it?
Do you want it?
The soup is tasty.
Make some more.
"Why are you following me?"
"What is so special?"
"I am your lover."
So?
What's the plan now?
Treat patients, what else.
But we need to get new patients.
That's true.
Three whys...
Why should patient honour
our clinic with their presence?
Why patients hiding from us?
Why they no talk about sickness?
Why you looking so lost?
That's four whys.
Number 4 was a separate
question. Answer the three whys.
There's only one answer to
all three...
Because sexual disorders
have become a dirty secret...
And sex has turned into taboo!
Why? Did I say something wrong?
Or will you two just sip
on soup all your life?
Let's go.
Could you move aside and talk?
Why, am I contaminating your soup?
- Baby...
- She shooed away my customers.
Just hold on.
Let's leave.
- Just chill.
- Yeah, I'm done with this soup too!
- Let's go.
- Such nonsense...
Nobody wants to hear the truth!
You're becoming too forward.
The general public is naive.
Yeah sure, they're naive...
We form 17 percent of
the world's total population....
And pretend as if 1.3 billion people
got produced by eating some holy fruit!
Oh Lord!
Don't just keep grinning...
Tell me, am I not right? Let's talk!
What do I say...
The more you talk like this,
the more awkward I feel.
One is bound to feel awkward,
of course...
Fair point...
The more I talk,
the more people get embarrassed.
Exactly. And then you say,
'let's talk'!
Did the medicine work?
But of course, it worked!
Mamaji turned me from
lard to creamy butter!
Even the military doesn't
talk this much in code!
- Can I frankly ask you something?
- Yes.
Mamaji did so much for you guys...
Don't you think you
owe him something in return?
Ma'am, every drop of my
wiggle-wiggle is indebted to Mamaji!
God bless his soul!
- Very good.
- Thank you.
Deepu
So Deepu, why don't you go and tell your
friends and relatives about the clinic!
Spread the good word.
Miss Baby, don't mind.
But... how can I discuss
such problems with other people?
What's the big deal?
Ailments are just ailments.
God knows how many people out there
are hiding their problems in shame.
They should know that
they can be cured here!
We need to get Mamaji's
remedies to every household.
The problem is that people
cringe at the very mention of sex.
The day our wives stop bingeing on soaps,
people will stop cringing at sex!
Bingeing and cringing... We
love using rhymes in our plays, too!
"You're like a thorn in a rose,
Shurpanakha, I'll chop your nose!"
Look, how popular
this dialogue has become!
Shall we make Mamaji's
remedies popular too?
Yes! Absolutely!
We need to do something so that people
start talking about sex on their own.
But...
That's going to be tough, my dear.
We can give it a shot.
Mr.Deepu, you have a printing press,
you could print pamphlets.
Done.
Mr. Khubi Ram... From the barber to
the butcher, everyone bows before you.
- You must fire the first shot.
- Didi.
Sister.
Got it.
Don't be quiet, honey-bunny...
'Let's get talking!'
Wait, wait...
Come on hurry up.
Honey, let's get talking!
I mean, what's
everybody talking about.
I am shoe fetish and Shailly
from Shidden also shoe fetish
Gabru.
so all you shoe-people
who love my shoes
come and buy My-My shoes...
- Which shoes babe?
- Your shoes.
God bless you.
My shoes...
God bless.
I love you Gabru...
Don't get too close.
Move back.
Mr. Gabru, Baby!
He knows me.
- Nancy make a note.
- Yes boss.
You don't like me and
neither does your sista,
So I wear fancy boots
and post selfies on insta!
- It's a sure-shot hit, Sir!
- I know.
What do you think?
Even if you sneeze,
it becomes a chartbuster.
Mr Gabru, you have everything,
a Rover, fancy sunglasses
Shoe Fetish shoes,
millions of fans at your feet...
Babes...
Just give it a thought?
Fans at your feet, good
- Fans at your throat, very bad...
You have nothing to lose, Mr Gabru.
Babes...
...there are only two
things famous in Punjab...
...the 'Patiala peg' and Gabru Ghattack.
Which is why I'm saying,
just post a selfie with us... please!
Everything is image.
I love Mamaji...
...but even he didn't ask
for such a big sacrifice.
Let's talk atleast?
Let's go, Nancy.
Now you can happily open
a warehouse at your home!
Why will I open a warehouse at home?
Didn't you say before, when we met...
Once the clinic is sold,
you'll start a warehouse at home...
And renovate the interiors on rent!
I'll rent a warehouse,
and get the house interiors renovated.
Oh... okay.
Madam, when there's hard cash on
the table, you shouldn't overthink.
I've already counted the cash...
just double-check it once.
It's 31 lakhs in total.
If there's anything missing,
let me know.
You want to take
up a herbal franchise?
You ned to invest a lot in businesss.
Just sell this place to me.
I'll revamp it.
Come back here after four
months and you won't recognize it.
I'll transform the
reputation of this place!
You count the cash and invest it.
- We'll do business together!
- Praise the Lord!
We'll be in touch!
Good day.
Take care.
Yes, I will handle this.
And get things done quickly.
I thought you would make Mamaji proud.
So what should I do?
Let this go?
All family responsibilities
rest on me. You know that, right?
You take too much pressure, you know.
Mamaji wasn't like this!
He wore all his
responsibilities lightly.
That is mine.
Cut my kite.
Come on.
Release the damn string...
Release it!
Oh no! You dropped it, you wuss!
Can't even fly a kite...
Get lost from here.
Limp-wristed loser!
He said this is a place for healing...
'I provide the medicine,
but it's God who heals.'
It was a huge responsibility on him...
To find a worthy successor
to take his legacy forward.
His hands had a healing touch...
...Which you've inherited from him.
No, I understand...
You want to revive the clinic...
You've become passionate about this.
I respect passion.
If Mamaji were around,
he'd be very happy.
- If you endorse us...
- How many, eh?
Yes, sorry. You were saying...
If you say, 'Let's get talking',
everyone will listen...
Who can help the clinic more than you?
And who will help me?
Every friend is important, babes...
Don't get me wrong...
But if my links with your
clinic become public...
Whether you benefit or not,
I'll surely be ruined!
Wait.
Kattar Singh was
ruined just like this.
Who Kattar Singh?
Back in 1947...
... there was a village
at the Attari border...
...where lived a perpetually
lazy farmer called Kattar Singh.
His only friend was his bed.
He'd sleep on it all day and only
get up to eat and go to the toilet.
Just like you.
Brother.
One day he got up to go to the toilet,
and his life fell apart.
A border was drawn between India
and Pakistan...
...and it divided Kattar's
house into two.
The problem was that most
of his house was now in India...
...but the bed remained in Pakistan.
When Kattar tried to go to his bed,
the military stopped him.
Miserable without his bed,
he wandered aimlessly...
And as he wandered, he ended
up falling into the village lake.
In the lake was a crocodile,
who swallowed him whole.
When he saw the crocodile's insides,
Kattar was astonished.
There was everything he needed...
...fish to eat and water to drink...
A life of comfort!
But Katti living inside
was causing the crocodile gas...
...so it lifted its tail
and tried to expel him.
But Katti wouldn't budge.
He said, so what if
my bed was taken away...
...now you're my best friend.
We'll stay together forever.
The crocodile would swallow fish...
...and Katti would eat them,
throwing the bones out from its rear.
And then one day,
the supply of fish stopped.
Water, oxygen... nil.
When Katti got out, he realized...
...that the crocodile died of starvation.
Termites destroyed the bed...
...and Kattar's selfishness
killed the king of the lake.
So...
Moral of the story?
Every friend is important
but a friend who only
looks out for himself...
... is no friend.
Premature ejaculation,
Erectile dysfunction.
Low sperm count, Impotence.
Don't suffer sexual disorders in silence!
A sure cure for men lacking stamina.
Why worry, when there is a solution!
Boost your sexual performance, visit
Mamaji's Khandaani Shafakhana today!
"She races like a Ferrari
As the people look on stunned"
"She's a Lioness in this jungle
She ain't scared of anyone!"
"Everywhere she makes her mark
And all the losers can do is bark"
Listen carefully.
- Here you go.
- "This fever's spreading all around!"
"She's spinning the
world round and round!"
Hey, I'm feeling deprived too!
Get that youthful vigour back...
For all your sex-related and
other health problems, visit us today!
Hey Madam, have you no shame...
Parading that word in public!
Sir, you can see 'sex' written in
bold, but not all the problems around it?
Quit eating junk... your
paunch is sticking out!
And before your wife complains,
come to Mamaji's clinic!
Premature ejaculation,
Erectile dysfunction, Low sperm count...
Impotence... If you're suffering,
come to Mamaji's Shafakhana today!
Yes, Mamaji's Shafakhana
is located in your very own street...
You don't stop.
Premature ejaculation,
Erectile dysfunction, Low sperm count
Visit Mamaji's Khandaani
Shafakhana today!
Everywhere it's 'Let's get talking'!
You think we don't know
what you're talking about?
We aren't nave little toddlers!
Neither am I.
Which is why I say, sex is sex!
Oh Lord! I'm stunned
at this girl's audacity!
Not a hint of hesitation
on her face, saying such things!
Just formalities, eh?
I thought once the old man dies, all
this dirt will be gone from this street.
But he's handed over
the baton to this girl!
They've turned this
market into a pigsty!
Under the garb of treatment, youngsters
are told to go cavort naked in public!
I'm sure this girl is encouraging young
boys and girls to have pre-marital sex...
she's flagrantly wrecking
our values and culture.
Absolutely!
Values are important! She talks rubbish!
Enough, Mr Jiyalal ji..
Times have changed.
Our traditions haven't changed.
Trying to be too modern...
This 'modern' attitude
is spreading like wild grass...
Sunken eyes...
twitching nose...
What are you saying?
Stale bad breath!
You have piles!
Wow! Now she is trying
to change the topic.
Piles! Is it written on his face?
Ah, forget it.
- Tell me if it's not true!
- It isn't.
I didn't ask you, Hypothyroidism!
I've been perplexed seeing
Mr Jiya Lal for a long time...
Why would anyone be so bothered
by other people's affairs?
Now it makes sense.
Someone who is suffering from piles...
...Would want the whole
world to suffer along!
Stop this nonsense!
Make use of your family connection...
I'll give you a sure shot
treatment for piles!
You will?
Yes, I will!
While on one hand, the Clock Tower
Mercantile Association has filed a case...
...under section 269,
Act against obscenity in public places...
...the Hindustani Unani Research
Centre has filed criminal charges...
...for running a clinic without
medical training, cheating, forgery...
The smell's bothering you, is it?
Have you never peed?
Such a princess!
Go see, you're all over the news!
I should become Madame Baby's apprentice.
Such a big lie, to your own lawyer?
Do you have any idea how many
strings I pulled to get you bail?
No, no... you have no idea!
Your one lie has taken
the whole clinic down.
You're piling on her as
if you're some paragon of virtue.
It literally rains lies when you
lawyers open your mouths!
Fine!
Fight your own case then.
Mr Tagra, please. Listen to me...
I am very very sorry, Mr Tagra.
From day one I don't
like this Bhooshit chap.
And am very disappointed, Baby.
Actually, with both of you!
For the first time Tagra
does not know what to say!
You've been having her medicines
since the last few weeks...
They're effective, right?
You mean Mamaji's medicines.
The jars Mamaji left were soon over.
She's been preparing the
medication herself since then.
You think they'd be more effective
if some dude with a degree made them?
Now don't try to get me all emotional.
You've committed a
very serious offense...
There's no defense in your favor.
Look Mr. Tagra, please listen to me.
We'll have a case
if we build one, right?
Let's see...
We'll have to lock horns now.
Don't get pressure by what people say.
How do I face Mom?
What the hell is going on!
Chachaji please... You'll get your money!
Move aside my dear, you'll get hurt.
I'm going to break all
these machines of yours!
Hey! Behave yourself.
You have no respect do you?
I left home for one night
and you revealed your true colours!
And what about all
your colourful activities?
The whole city is looking
at you with disgust.
My daughter is now
ready to get married...
If people like you live here,
who will marry her?
Bhooshit, load the luggage.
Where will we go, Mom?
I'll find a roof to cover our heads.
But who will salvage our reputation,
which she has stripped bare?
Sheetu, you...
- Let it be, Baby...
We'll figure it out.
You go, carry on with your dirty work.
Fight with my in-laws.
The way things are going...
They'll also throw me out.
It'll make no difference to her...
Whether her mother's humiliated,
whether we become homeless...
Even if your husband
leaves you tomorrow...
She won't care.
She won't even let her
father's soul rest in peace.
Thank God our kids
didn't turn out this way!
Amazing. You're giving up your home,
and going after her!
So what should we do?
Embrace her?
Weep for her?
No! I'm won't shed
a single tear for her.
I want nothing to do
with this shameless girl.
Move along! Close the gate.
"I have seen the shattering of dreams"
Pick it up!
Pick this chair up.
"Houses submerging in grief"
- "Mom...
- I have witnessed many hopes"
"Losing wind at the brink of destiny"
"It feels as though
all the world's sorrows"
"Are destined to fall upon me"
"Why won't my heart be drenched?"
"My eyes are soaked with sadness
Days and nights full of darkness"
"My heart lies drenched"
"My eyes are soaked with sadness
Days and nights full of darkness"
"These wounds have defeated me
My broken heart finds no solace"
"My heart lies drenched"
"My heart lies drenched"
"My heart lies drenched"
"The world I yearned for
Has disappeared from sight"
"I'd adorned it with stars
But now that sky is desolate"
"I have seen the colours of life
Slowly paling and fading away"
"I have seen waves breaking apart
Right before the horizon"
"It feels as if my destiny
Has sunk into a void"
"Why won't my heart be drenched? "
"My eyes are soaked with sadness
Days and nights full of darkness"
"These wounds have defeated me
My broken heart finds no solace"
"My heart lies drenched"
"My heart lies drenched"
"My heart lies drenched"
I'm not Mamaji.
I can't go save the world at
the cost of destroying my own home.
Have you heard of Lohaar Singh?
Who Lohaar Singh?
There was a soldier in
Hoshiarpur who never accepted defeat...
Lohaar Singh.
He was very determined.
The conditions were tough...
...but he was unfazed.
So he set out for battle...
Mama was a very dangerous man!
His medicine turned me into Don Juan.
Women couldn't resist me!
Ladies going left,
ladies going right...
They kept banging
into me in the center!
One day, my wife Gulaabo caught
me with Mrs Dhillon, our neighbour.
She sent me divorce
papers the very next day!
Mr Tagra...
...aren't you a little
behind the times?
This is video went viral months back!
Your lordship, that's Mrs
Gulaabo Gill, Jhalla Halwai's wife.
Hand me the document.
This is her statement
where she clearly says...
...that before taking
Mamaji's medicine...
...Jhalla Gill was a virgin - with
no hope of conjugal bliss whatsoever.
Once a balloon goes bust,
it can't be inflated again.
But who knows what goddamned
gas Mamaji pumped into him...
...his balloon started
flying around everywhere!
An acute case of erectile dysfunction
treated miraculously by Mamaji...
Thank you. You can leave.
I would like to ask
Unani research centre...
...what could be a better proof
of the efficacy of Mamaji's medicines?
What's your case, Mr Tagra?
You're skirting the issue.
Baby Bedi has cheated the public!
And you're cheating the court!
Mr Tagra...
She's a quack who ran the
clinic posing as a doctor...
We've submitted a clarification
regarding that to the court.
This is no clarification!
That is for the court to decide.
Are you going to let me speak or not?
Your lordship.
Have some respect, man.
Your lordship.
What's the case?
Baby Bedi pretended
to be a Unani hakim.
She was running the
clinic without a degree.
Exactly. He's just
going around in circles.
Why don't you come and take my place?
I am sorry.
No, since you're so well-versed
with the law, you sit here.
I'll set up a stall and
sell snacks outside the court.
I'm sorry.
Please come to the point Tagra.
The Hindustani Unani Research
Centre's accusation...
...that Baby Bedi cheated
the public - it is baseless.
How can she cheat the public?
She was just the sales girl.
I've submitted statements from...
...their patients Khubi Ram,
Shyama Pehelwan, Deepu Palta...
...which testify that Dr.
Bindra was present at the clinic.
Here's Dr Bindra's IMC
registration certificate and degree.
Whether she wins or loses the case...
...I'm taking my commission!
Well, Mr Tagra has proven his point.
What? What point has he proved?
This isn't done. You can't
let Baby Bedi off the hook like this!
Sure. Everyone knows the
law in this court other than me.
She's been posing as Khandaani
Shafakhana's brand ambassador.
And she has zero qualifications. Zero!
Your Lordship, according to
Hakim Tarachand aka Mamaji's will...
...Baby Bedi is the sole
heir of Khandaani Shafakhana...
Provided that she runs
the clinic for 6 months...
...and if she fails to do so, the
clinic's property will be transferred...
...to the Hindustani
Unani Research Center.
Therefore, they are trying to stop
Baby Bedi from going to the clinic.
Tagra says,
they are feathering their own nest!
Sure, we are feathering our nest,
but this Baby Bedi...
...she doesn't know the
ABC of Unani medicine!
Yes, she knows nothing about Unani
medicine. That's what we are saying too!
Then why is she going around
everywhere advertising it?
Fine, she won't.
Look, it's nothing personal.
Sex Clinics like Khandaani Shafakhana
tarnish the reputation of Unani medicine.
It's your narrow-mindedness
that ruins Unani's reputation!
So many people have sworn by
our treatment, but you ignore that...
And then you say
it's nothing personal.
Hakim Tara Chand was still
a member of our institution...
But who are you? Who trained you?
Hakim Tara Chand himself trained me.
What's the problem?
Baby!
No, who do they think they are?
They insult Mamaji
when they feel like...
... and when it suits them,
they claim him as their own?
It's with his blessings
and by following his remedies...
... that I've
cured all these people.
Tell us, how many people
have you cured till date?
So you admit that you
treated these patients?
Why don't you ask these experts if
they even remember how to treat patients?
But you know how to
treat them, right?
- Yes I do!
- Baby, no!
Mr Tagra, what's going on in this court!
Is this a joke?
Before getting your client to court, you
could have at least taught her to lie!
No, no she is just getting
a little emotional, your lordship.
Madam, there's a case against
you for obscenity as well!
What obscenity?
What obscenity has she committed?
Look, such dangerous activities
have been happening in this clinic.
Forget about the illegal
medical practice...
What about how she is polluting
society by talking about sex like this?
Yeah, is sex a joke?
You can't just talk about
sex like that with children...
... their minds start
racing with curiosity!
That's true.
Tagra, my son...
He has only just hit puberty.
God knows what he was
watching on Youtube at night.
All I could hear was... Sex, sex, sex!
So I gave him a tight slap.
He tells me - Dad,
it's a sex education video!
Your lordship, your son is
growing from a child into a young man.
And he is curious like a cat.
Tagra says, talk to him.
Talk to your son.
You can't teach kids
about sex just like that.
Who taught us? We learnt on our own!
Which is why you
haven't learnt a thing!
No way. We could never dare
talk about sex with our Dads.
Sir, it's not like if you shield
your son from sex, he won't do it.
There needs to be a proper sex
education curriculum, in that case!
Then why don't you create one!
Who is stopping you?
Nobody is stopping you.
Studying about sex?
Call it studies,
or just understanding...
That is what I am saying.
[Indistinct chatter]
Sir, we talk about sex either
in jokes, or as dirty talk.
Instead of talking
about using protection...
...we tell people to stay away from sex.
If your son wants to learn about sex,
what will you tell him?
That it's a disease?
If a child is repulsed by someone's touch,
will you slap the child instead?
It's crucial that we understand the
difference between sex and perversion.
Sir, should I include all this
sex-talk in the minutes of the session?
Of course not!
I need to look into other cases too!
Baby Bedi, if you have anything
to say in your defense, go ahead.
Sir, she would need to
defend herself if she was losing.
But she's already won.
Gabru Ghatak, right?
Yes.
Almost.. Ghatack.
You know him?
He's our client.
Man Tagra, I'm so thankful
that this case came into my court...
This courtroom has
turned into a film set!
It feels like a reality show.
Should we set up
a selfie-booth here now?
- Move..
- Move away.
Sorry Sir...
Sorry Sir...
...but what you see today
is not Gabru Ghatack.
This is Gunnu Bassi...
... patient of Mamaji and
his Khaandaani Shafakhana.
Very high profile.
You too?
Don't be shocked sir.
I had a sexual disorder...
Mamaji used to cure the ailment
but Baby cured me.
But did you notice what
just happened in this court today?
An open discussion on sex...
free flowing.
No one outraged over
the mention of sex.
Tell me, what could be a bigger
victory for Khandaani Shafakhana?
Anything else?
I feel that this discussion
on sex shouldn't end in this court...
We must take it outside
and discuss it freely.
Sir the outcome of this
case lies in your hands...
...but today, Mamaji...
...winning!
Please sit.
Baby Bedi cannot run the clinic.
She'll be fined too.
Because no patient has complained...
...I'll leave the decision whether
to press further charges on Baby Bedi...
...on the Hindustani
Unani research center.
But I'll give you a piece of advice...
If a person's intelligence and
talent can contribute to your science...
...then you must take
advantage of that.
Mummy, could you pack
the medicine from the kitchen...
...and give it to me outside?
Twenty-seven.
Twenty-seven?
Is what it should be!
Write thirty-six.
In the mood for lemonade
early in the morning!
Mummy, she's craving too
much Vitamin C these days!
Marry him if you want...
Atleast one worry off my back!
Sure I will, Mom!
Don't you dare marry before me!
Sorry.
Do it.
This crazy girl and singing-dancing
joker managed to sway everyone?
I knew they have bad blood...
but none of you bothered to listen!
That's not true,
we do nothing without your approval...
But girls these days,
they ensnare our boys!
Neetu!
Yes?
Are you going to the shop?
Yes, and so is Sheetu.
She'll be handling
accounts from now on.
What?
Look my dear,
it's good to help people...
But if you want to become a Hakim,
be diligent.
Get your degree, and then practice.
Best of luck.
Thank you
Mamaji!
Is this where one becomes a doctor?
Yes. Doctors, Hakims...
they all study here.
I'll be Doctor Baby Bedi!
Why not Hakim Baby Bedi?
Doctor Baby Bedi or Hakim Baby Bedi?
Hello Doctor!
Good day, Hakim ji!
Are you Doctor Baby Bedi
or Hakim Baby Bedi?
Where can I find the
Khandaani Shafakhana?
Upstairs.
There?
He keeps trying to get it on,
but I'm nervous.
Nervous?
I don't know what will happen,
how will it feel?
He's been sulking for a week.
Let him sulk. He can't force you!
But Didi, is it normal to be nervous?
Of course it's normal.
Till the soup's temperature doesn't
suit you, sip at your own pace...
Understood?
Yes.
Care for some soup?
KHANDAANI SHAFAKHANA
(We have many branches)
"Nose pin."
"Nose pin."
"Nose pin."
"If you wish to hear more,
subscribe to T-series."
"Let's talk about love."
"Hold my hand."
"Come dance with me."
"No one's stopping you."
"Your diamond earrings.."
"..and you sway like a gem."
"Listen to what I say."
"God's made you unique."
"Don't make me pine just say yes.."
"Fill my life with happiness."
"Nose ring.."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring..says something."
"As your veil flutters in the wind."
"Nose pin."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring.."
"Your nose ring."
"You sway on the floor
like a spinning top."
"Baby you're the best,
better than the rest."
"You bend like rubber.."
"..there is no stopping you tonight."
"Come closer so I
can whisper in your ear."
"I look decent, and also earn well."
"If you say yes I'll tell
my mother to fix our wedding."
"Embarrassed."
"All my friends laugh."
"Your eyes reveal the truth."
"You look like a cheater."
"Everything you say sounds like a lie."
"I can even give my life for you."
"Bring all the riches
in the world for you."
"I'll always be loyal to you.."
"..just give me one chance."
"Nose pin."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring..says something."
"As your veil flutters in the wind."
"Nose ring.."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring..says something."
"Nose ring.."
"Your nose ring."