1
(SKATEBOARD ROLLING)
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
(INSECTS BUZZING)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(DOG BARKING)
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
(LIGHTER CLICKING)
(TINO CRYING)
(DOOR SCRAPES)
(CRYING)
Sorry I'm late,
but I was thinking.
Looks good, Ter.
What is this supposed to be?
It's the house.
(WOOD CLATTERING)
(TINO YELPS)
And this is Kate.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Sit down, Terry.
You said you were thinking?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
So here's the deal.
We have four girls staying over.
Initially I thought,
that's great.
Four girls for Kate.
Then I remembered all
of your beautiful faces.
I don't want to starve
you of the action,
but I have to have
the first kill.
Call it a quirk.
So I'll kick off the
festivities by going in alone.
Say 10:00, 10:30.
At this point, they'll
be knee deep in champagne
and gone.
(TINO SOBBING)
Feeling it big time.
One of them, perhaps the
tallest, will be parched.
She'll want water.
I know this place like
the back of my hand,
and I can fit inside
the refrigerator...
Nope.
I'm sorry, I'm gonna
stop you right there.
I can't.
I mean, this is bad.
What do you mean?
I mean, this is bad.
Your plan is bad.
The model is bad, it's all bad...
The model was
for effect, Jimmy.
I just smashed it.
Do you got a better idea?
- Well, you know...
- Oh, look out, everyone.
- Here comes Jimmy.
- Hey, hey, hey.
(LAUGHING)
Fine, I don't have
a better idea.
Happy?
Look, I know I've
said this before
but I think it bears
repeating in this moment.
I have huge concerns
(SIGHS)
- about this whole thing.
- Fuck.
Nobody else, I'm alone?
I'm talking about crippling
cosmic concerns, Dad.
BRISKMAN: We're dealing
with professionals.
(STUTTERS)
(LAUGHS)
These two? (LAUGHING)
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
What about the family name, huh?
(SNIFFLING)
Nobody's thought of that?
I mean, even if we
get away with this,
this is going to
follow us forever.
You don't think that at all?
Karma, have you
thought about karma?
It's true.
What goes around
- comes around, okay?
- Yeah, yeah!
And we are sending an
awful lot around with this.
And when it comes back, and
it's going to come back,
it's coming back and
it's gonna hit us
like a ton of bricks,
because we aren't
going to be ready
because we're sending out a lot
and it's coming back to hit
us right in the face, okay.
Because what goes out
there, comes back...
What the fuck is
he talking about?
Hey, hey, you know what?
Nobody can get a thought out
when you keep
interrupting everyone...
Only you.
- Yeah, yeah, well stop it.
- I'm only interrupting you
and I should be getting
a Nobel Prize for it.
They don't give out
Nobel Prizes for things...
Well whatever fucking...
Stop!
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
We're all on the same team,
so just relax and listen up.
This is what's gonna happen.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(SIGHS)
Uh.
What do you want me
to do about that?
Be creative.
Take me to Red Lobster.
Okay.
Yeah, I can definitely
make reservations.
Wait, really?
This is our first date,
and you're gonna take
me to Red Lobster?
Did you just ask me on a date?
(GENTLE MUSIC)
(MUMBLES)
- Dude.
- Hmm?
Do something.
Ask me what kind of
food I like to eat.
Or when is good for me
- to go.
- Oh, oh yeah.
Okay.
When is good for you?
Next weekend?
Next weekend?
That is awesome
We can, uh, yeah.
Great.
By chance, what are
you doing tomorrow?
Uh, tomorrow's Halloween.
Yeah, it is.
It's awesome, isn't it?
I have never really been
a fan of themed parties,
and Halloween is
like a themed day,
except the theme
is, like, witches
and goblins and scary things.
But like why?
You know?
Yeah, uh, mm-hm.
But look, if you wanna
go, that's totally cool.
I can make an exception.
No, no,
That's okay.
Next weekend will be great.
Okay, I'll let you
choose where we go.
Well then, we will
go to Red Lobster.
(LAUGHS)
Perfect!
Nah, I'm kidding.
But they really do
have delicious rolls.
I'll take your word for it.
I'm really excited.
Me too.
Okay, bye.
(LAUGHS)
(SIGHS)
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
(SIGHS)
So, how's work?
Today was really
good, actually.
It's a big day tomorrow.
I hope you got her a nice gift.
Dad, please, let's
not do this again.
Your sister's
getting married, Kate.
I have plans.
Really?
What plans?
I'm surprising
my friend Trent.
Okay.
Who the hell is Trent?
Well, he's a friend from work.
We've known each
other for a while.
I really like him, Dad.
I planned this whole
thing on the way over.
- Tomorrow's Halloween...
- Oh, wow, really?
Halloween?
It's his favorite holiday.
You're gonna have
plenty of opportunities
to dress up with Trent.
Angie's only getting
married once.
That's optimistic.
Angie really needs
you there tomorrow.
Dad, I just...
I can't live with a
fractured family, Kate.
I would like to spend
whatever time I have left
with my girls.
She could make an effort
every once in a while, too.
She sent you invitation.
Okay, just...
Do whatever you want, it's
okay, do what you want.
Dad.
Dad.
I'm tired.
I'm not lying, I
really am just tired.
(SIGHS)
I love you.
I love you, too.
Think of your family.
I don't ask much.
Kate.
Get her something nice.
(KATE SIGHS)
(KATE SIGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)
Hi!
(PHONE BLEEPS)
(KATE SIGHS)
(PHONE VIBRATES)
(PHONE VIBRATES)
Hi.
What happened?
I must be in a bad
area or something.
Oh, weird.
Hi!
Hi.
Are you coming?
Tell me you're coming.
- Yes.
- Oh, my god, that's amazing.
I'm so excited, Kate.
Yeah, so how do
I get up there?
We'll pick you up tomorrow.
I knew you'd come, I knew it.
I can't believe my little
sister is getting married.
Believe it.
You'll love him, too,
he's smart and handsome,
and he's funny in a way that
you'll appreciate, I hope.
We'll pick you up
tomorrow at 11AM.
Sounds great.
- I'll see you then.
- 11AM.
- Perfect.
- Bye!
Bye.
(GROANS)
- Poison.
- Okay.
Transfers to the
champagne bottle.
And then they start
popping bottles and ah-ha.
Okay, how do we get the
cork back into the bottle?
- I fucked it up again.
- There's no fucking up.
We're just
brainstorming here, so...
Okay, brainstorming,
what if we take this...
Where did you get that?
This is how I give
Lucy her medication.
- Our cat has diabetes?
- For like seven years.
Three times a day
I have to do this.
Okay, so let's say I take the
poison, put it into the cork,
we let it drain in, that way
the cork is not distressed,
it falls in, sneak attack.
My concern is, can I
see this for a second?
- See how small that is?
- I'm not a scientist.
- You said brainstorming.
- Okay, well, I mean...
Is there a way that we
can leave the cork in,
leave the gold wrapping so
that doesn't get touched,
- but we go through the glass?
- Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
Do you think Dad was
mad or embarrassed of me
'cause I started
sobbing at the meeting?
Hey hey, don't worry about
Dad, nobody's mad at you, okay?
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, you're a good person.
I just feel like I need
to watch someone slowly die
for regular life
experience, you know?
You know what? We actually...
We really need you to stay
behind, you know what I mean?
'Cause we need reinforcements.
We need somebody to hold
down the fort like you,
nobody ever sends the
whole crew in, right?
I mean, I guess that's
a good point, but...
I need somebody to
figure out how to get
the poison into the
champagne, you know?
- That could be your thing.
- Really?
That's my, I'm
gonna have a thing?
- Yeah, you got a thing!
- Just my thing?
- You've got a thing!
- (LAUGHS) Alright!
- Yeah!
- Okay.
- So how do we do it?
- Wheels turn, wheels turn.
- Got it.
- Hit me with it.
I call Christine and
ask her what she thinks.
- I love it.
- Alright!
- Good thinkin'!
- Yeah!
There you go, little bro!
Alright, let's call Christine.
(SOMBER MUSIC)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
I see you!
(LAUGHS) Okay, okay,
you're breaking me.
Oh, my god, hi!
Hi.
Gosh, you look the same.
That's annoying.
You look like you, too.
- Oh, I'm sorry, this is...
- I'm Sarah.
- It's so nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
And this is Mel.
The one and only.
Wow, that's quite
the handshake.
So what was that on the
phone yesterday about 11AM?
- You're early.
- It's 10:45.
It's basically 11.
Okay, well, I have a little
bit more packing to do.
So do you mind waiting a minute?
It's great to see you, Kate.
Wow.
Not bad, huh?
- It's beautiful.
- I know, right?
I'm a lucky girl.
Okay, one sec.
Okay.
Oh, what's wrong
with your suitcase?
That sound is horrible.
Oh, yeah.
The wheel is broken.
You can get a new one on
Amazon for like 20 bucks.
I know, this
one's sentimental.
Tell me that's the
one from Niagara Falls.
Ah, the one and only.
That thing take a tumble
down the fucking waterfall?
There'd probably
be way more damage
than just the one wheel
clacking like that.
I'm just saying that if
the suitcase did drop down
the Niagara Falls, there'd
probably be more damage
than just the one
wheel clacking along.
That's a very mature
inference, Sara.
It was the horse
drawn carriage.
They took off and all the
luggage fell out the back.
Oh, Dad was pissed.
It was a really great trip.
- I got it.
- Thank you.
If the car smells
like cigarettes,
I'm going to kill
the both of you.
Okay, then I
need a smoke break
every 100 miles or two hours,
which ever comes first.
Shotgun!
Oh, no, I want Kate to
sit in the front with me.
And we're not stopping
until we get there.
I walked in on a plan to
dissolve all of your wishes
But I couldn't
help your mouth
Which I missed by two inches
This song sucks.
I kind of like the song, Kate.
Kate, how's life?
How's life?
Um...
I'm good.
And you're still working
for the non-profit?
- Yeah, how'd you know?
- Facebook.
Yep.
- Renewables, right?
- Yeah, renewable energy.
ANGIE: That's exciting.
My husband and I just
had a bunch of solar panels
installed on our roof.
I love saying it.
My husband.
(ANGIE GIGGLES)
KATE: Well, solar panels
aren't exactly the same thing,
but it's a good move.
They're kinda the same
thing, though, right?
Solar or whatever.
Sure.
So, any renewable men in
the renewable non-profit?
One or two.
One or two? Who?
Actually, nobody.
Oh, okay, well...
Well, there is this one
guy, he's really nice.
I was gonna surprise him for
Halloween today, but here I am.
Well, I only get married once.
That's optimistic.
(KATE CHUCKLES)
Hey, guys?
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Do you think he's following us?
It's not a
fucking movie, Sara.
The guy probably
just broke down.
His car's like 100 years old.
Yeah, you're right,
it's probably nothing.
So, how do you
guys know my sister?
- Work.
- Both of you?
Yeah.
Angie teaches English
and everyone loves her.
I teach math, which is
super boring but okay,
and Mel is our shop
teacher, obviously.
Private school kids hate
to get their hands dirty,
so I basically sit
on my ass all day.
I thought teaching
was about stimulating
the kids' attention?
I really don't care.
It's shop.
I put some good music on,
drink a little NyQuil,
and zone out while a
bunch of adolescents
attempt to make a cutting board.
I actually kinda liked shop.
But I guess my teacher
made it interesting.
Well, my students
actually hate me
for expecting 15 minutes
of homework a night.
We got a memo at the
beginning of the school year
about stripping the
children of their ability
to explore
extracurricular activities
with unreasonable
homework demands.
Did you memorize the memo?
I've read it literally
a million times.
I couldn't believe it.
Kids tend to like my class.
That's because you're awesome.
- Awesome Ange.
- (LAUGHS) Wait, what?
Ask her.
Awesome Ange?
We give each
student a nickname
so we can remember them faster,
and I thought it was only
fair if we all get one, too.
We use alliteration,
like Awesome Ange.
Or Sunny Sara.
And you would be?
Mommy Mel.
Wow.
Oh my god!
- Let's do you.
- Oh, gosh, no.
That's okay.
Cool Kate.
And you're definitely
cool, so I think it works.
But it's Kate with a K.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Okay, why is driving so slow?
'Cause we're hot.
Hi!
This is weird, we should go.
Y'all broke down or somethin'?
No, just enjoying the view.
Please, can we leave?
You sure you
don't need no help?
I got a mechanic
just up the road.
And a real nice motel, too.
Car's not broken.
(CAR STARTS)
See?
Four girls all by themselves.
Y'all be careful.
Thanks.
(TRUCK STARTS)
(HAUNTING MUSIC)
This is amazing.
How much did this
place cost, Mel?
75 a night, two
bedrooms, three bathrooms.
And a real fucking bar.
Thank god we didn't
book that motel.
MEL: Oh, man, that
place was a shit-hole.
Even in the pictures.
Where did you guys
find this place?
The LA BnB App.
I've got the
weekend all planned.
We'll go hiking, we'll
have a patio picnic.
I brought six board games.
That actually
sounds really nice.
No, we are not spending the
weekend playing board games.
I brought alcohol, they
have a huge supply.
Come on, this story
writes itself.
Okay, just take it
easy tonight, Mel.
You too, Sara.
Why?
Because I don't wanna
spend my day tomorrow
cleaning up after
the two of you.
Fine, (CHUCKLES)
we'll take it easy.
We'll try and take
it easy. (LAUGHS)
I almost forgot the
last part of my plan.
No phones.
That's a nice idea,
Sara, but I can't.
I mean, what if
he tries to call?
You're about to spend the
rest of your life with him.
I could use the break.
(SIGHS) Okay.
You're joking, right?
Does it look like I'm joking?
Is that a trick question?
Come on!
We're supposed to spend
this time together.
Yeah, but how am
I supposed to make
poor choices without my phone?
It's the only fun
part of a hangover.
You know, picking up the pieces,
figuring out what happened.
I mean, otherwise you're
just hungover, right?
You guys know what
I'm talkin' about.
Okay, fine, I'm gonna finish
ordering this pizza first.
I'm fucking starving.
Totally didn't
think that would work.
You know, this is how people
should do their
bachelorette party.
Calm, easy.
Well, don't tell
that to the entire cast
and crew of Chippendales,
they're showing up later.
Oh, they're great.
I saw 'em in Vegas.
They're not actually
showing up, are they?
(BRANCH SNAPS)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Is everything okay out there?
Yeah!
The listing says the
master bedroom is down
the hallway with the crosses,
which isn't at all foreboding.
Well, Kate and I
will share the master,
and you two can share
the other, yeah?
Perfect.
(MOODY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Okay.
We're only here for a night.
That's right!
So, if you unpack, you have
repack everything in 16 hours.
I hate living
out of a suitcase.
It's not really living
out of a suitcase,
if it's only for a night.
The whole point of a LA BnB
is to be a home away from home.
No, it's a cheaper
place to stay,
and sometimes you get lucky.
MAN: We could
have been happy!
We could have shared this life.
WOMAN: Sometimes I
don't know which way is up.
I've searched and searched,
I'm scared of what I'll find!
Why can't you understand that?
MAN: I understand
everything, Helen.
MAN: It'll only be a night.
MAN: I already
told you, mister.
We ain't got no rooms
available for your people.
Wait, what?
(GUN FIRES)
- Keep the change.
- Dumb.
WOMAN: Hello?
Jimmy, is that you?
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(WHISPERING)
(SARA GASPS)
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
Dumb.
MAN: It was only three
weeks ago when Rinecher driver
Robert Waltman molested
16-year-old Nancy Connors.
Waltman took the stand
today in what has been...
- Oh, these fucking assholes...
- Shh!
You know what they
should do for real?
They should drag these
sickos out into the desert
and make the world
a better place.
Why do you always
have to be so violent?
I'm not being violent.
I'm asking someone
else to do it.
REPORTER: And now, a tragic
development in San Diego.
Local hero Petey the Dolphin
has died, he was 108.
In dolphin years, of course.
REPORTER: (laughs)
Steve, you are too much.
Stay tuned for information
on memorial services
planned across Southern California
and for the National...
(GROANS) I can't
take it anymore.
It literally parodies itself.
If only there was
some sort of remedy
to help us feel better.
Oh, if only there was!
I say we enjoy this and
then raid the kitchen?
Should we see if
they wanna join us?
No, I'm pretty sure Cool
Kate doesn't smoke pot.
Yeah, they're
probably catchin' up.
Shit, do you have a lighter?
(SOMBER ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)
I love how much room we have.
Yeah, it's really great.
So, how's Dillon?
It's Darren.
He's fine, he's good.
I'm really happy.
I'm glad.
He's a little, I don't know.
We've been together
for two years now,
and I'm just now realizing
that he's a little clingy.
They're not gonna be
your favorite person
every day of the week, you know?
Yeah.
But, like, he graduated last
month with his doctorate,
and he flipped out at me for
leaving the ceremony early.
You left his graduation?
Angie, that isn't
not a big deal.
It is not a big deal.
I didn't even wanna
go in the first place.
It was Florida in
September, ungodly humid,
and the host had this
horrible scratchy voice.
Like Aunt Paula, you know?
This host was like a year away
from that hole in your throat.
And Darren's mom,
she's a wonderful lady,
but she sobs uncontrollably.
You know when you're on a
plane and a baby is crying
and everybody is
looking at the parent?
That's how everybody
was looking at me,
because I was with her.
His dad's not in the picture.
He just kept going on
and on about me leaving.
He was like, "I put
myself through school,
"you don't respect me,
"how can you love someone
and abandon them?"
He's dramatic,
that's what it is.
And I was like, "babe,
it was the sweat,
"compounded with
your mom's sobbing,
"compounded with the
second-coming of Aunt Paula."
But he just didn't get it.
I don't know.
I have no idea how to accelerate
his never-ending
adolescence, you know?
Wow.
What?
Was it really that bad?
Are you kidding?
You weren't even there,
how would you know?
I mean, even your
really dramatic version
of the whole thing
sounds bearable.
Graduations are
important, Angie.
You can't really
make that up to him.
I hope you apologized.
For what?
Did you listen to my story?
Yeah, I did, I just think
that whatever you're complaining
about isn't actually
the problem here.
You know, I really wanted
you here for this weekend,
but not if you're
gonna be like...
Go on, say it.
You.
Well, at least I'm here.
Remind me where you've
been the last five years.
Come on, Kate.
Darren...
Oh, no, you just said
it's been two years.
What's your excuse
for the other three?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Okay.
What happened?
Things were fine
like two seconds ago.
Can we just have
fun this weekend?
I'm trying.
Try harder.
Guess what I found.
Are you sure we're
allowed to have that?
Better to drink their stash
before breaking into mine.
And they have a
stash, believe you me.
Champagne sounds perfect.
(DARK ROCK MUSIC)
(CORK POPS)
(WOMEN YELP AND LAUGH)
Give it to me.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.
Baby!
Oh, no, thank you.
Right, more for us.
(SARA GIGGLES)
Cheers.
- Cheers!
- Cheers.
Hey, can I ask
all of you something
- that's been bothering me?
- Oh, boy.
Do you think anybody
moves to Waco, Texas
just to meet Chip
and Joanna Gaines?
KATE: The home
flipper people?
No, they're the Fixer Uppers.
The flippers are the
other ones in the suits.
Well, the guy's in the suit.
I don't think anybody moves
to Waco, Texas just
to meet someone.
You move to Waco, Texas
only if you absolutely must.
Or if you're from
there, obviously.
Even then, I mean, those
kids have gotta be desperate
to get outta there.
Seriously.
Even I couldn't wait to
get out after high school.
That's for sure.
- What's that, Kate?
- Oh, nothing.
No, you were
gonna say something.
No.
(GASPS) I've got it!
Kinky Kate!
(FRIENDS LAUGH)
In that sweater? (LAUGHS)
I highly doubt it.
I like this sweater.
I just don't think kinky
is the right word for you.
This tastes strange.
Oh, it could have been
in there a while, but,
I'm a woman of simple pleasures.
So am I.
My stomach does
kinda hurt a little.
Power through.
SARA: I will, I just,
maybe I should eat something.
I'm really hungry.
I'm right there with you.
I hope that pizza
guy gets here soon.
They might have TUMS or
something in the bathroom.
Oh, no, it's alright, I'd
rather let it pass naturally.
Are you one of those people?
How did I not know
this about you?
You end up dependent.
No, I mean, so then keep TUMS
in every room in your house,
and in the car,
and in the office.
I can't grasp why...
So, scientists invent a magic
pill that takes the pain away.
Are you saying you're
better than science, Sara?
I'd just rather not...
Every time that I
have a stomach ache,
I take something and
then I feel better.
So, (LAUGHS) I mean,
what are we saying here?
I mean, honestly,
I just can't grasp,
if the cure exists, it seems...
Okay, I think you're getting
a little bit worked up here.
I'm sorry, it's
just baffling to me.
But hey, it's your...
Shit.
I just got why they
call them TUMS.
TUMS, tummy.
Yeah, I got it!
Okay, I'm gonna go take
a look around the house.
I never drink this stuff.
It's too bubbly.
That's ironic.
(DOOR CREAKS)
(MUFFLED LAUGHTER)
(DISTANT CLATTERING)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(DISTANT CLATTERING)
(CREAKING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
God damnit.
(SIGHS)
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey, wait, where's
your ski mask?
We're killing them.
Plus, it's your dad's
house, no cameras?
Yeah, I guess
you have a point.
Where the fuck is Terry?
- Oh, shit.
- Dammit, Terry.
I guess it's time.
Terry's time, we're
always on Terry's time.
Give him a fuckin' break,
you're not down there.
Who even knows if they drank
enough of that champagne huh?
We've gotta go,
we've gotta go now.
You're right.
(WOMEN LAUGH)
Hey, you guys, I just
saw something strange.
Were you looking
in the mirror?
(LAUGHS) Come on, Mel.
I think someone's here.
I just found a muddy
footprint on the front porch.
What?
It's probably just
trick-or-treaters.
I don't know, I
don't think that kids
would climb up that
hill for candy.
I would have
sucked Barny's dick
for a Snickers
bar when I was 10.
(LAUGHS) Okay.
Okay, okay, wait, though.
So you're saying there's
footprints outside to the door?
- Yes.
- Okay, okay.
- Sara...
- Now I'm really freaked out.
It's Halloween, she's
just trying to scare you.
Come on, I don't
even like Halloween.
Angie, tell them.
Nobody's up here, Kate.
Wait.
Show us.
It's just fucking
trick-or-treaters, come on.
- You weren't kidding.
- I told you.
Who do you think it is?
(WOLF HOWLS)
(DOG BARKS)
- Guys.
- What?
(SARA GROANS)
- Are you okay?
- My stomach really hurts.
What should we do,
what if Kate's right?
Okay, everybody just relax,
she's trying to scare you.
What if she isn't?
They're just
trick-or-treaters.
Come on, if they were
just trick-or-treaters,
why didn't they knock?
Maybe we couldn't hear
them over your shrill voice.
You're drunk, Mel.
We all saw the footprint.
What if it's the owners,
maybe they're trying to get in?
No, the owners
would have the keys.
This bitch has
been complaining...
Don't call me that.
- Mel...
- What is your problem?
It's true, she's just
trying to upset you, Ange.
- She's probably jealous.
- I'm not jealous.
Same thing happened
with Sara's sister.
She trying to ruin your
bachelorette party.
Honestly, Kate, I'm offended.
Melanie, stop it.
Listen, Mel, I'm not trying
to start anything here.
I'm the new girl, I
get it, that's fine.
But we all saw the
same thing out there.
Someone is here.
We should leave.
- We should just leave.
- Really, really?
Do I have to prove
that we're alone?
SARA: Mel, don't.
Don't what?
Like I said...
(SHARP THUD)
(FLESH SQUELCHES)
Melanie!
(WOMEN YELP)
(FLESH SQUELCHES)
Holy shit!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Oh my god, oh my god,
Kate, we have to leave.
We have to leave.
We're gonna die here!
What do you want?
(SARA SOBS)
Kate, come on.
You're not getting in here.
We already are.
(KATE GASPS)
(TERRY GRUNTS)
I missed.
What are we supposed to do?
Go get her.
Where's your mask?
We're killing them.
Fuck yeah we are.
I like the way it looks.
Go!
Let us in first!
(DOOR RATTLES)
Do you think they
can get in here?
Oh my god.
This is it, this is it,
we're gonna die in a LA BnB.
No, no, no, we're
not gonna die.
It's gonna be fine,
just let me think.
(DOOR RATTLES)
- Shit.
- What happened?
Terry missed.
Unbelievable, he's gonna
blow this whole thing up.
- You realize that, right?
- No he's not. We're here.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Jesus.
- Dad just bought those.
- So?
So they're expensive.
Like really expensive,
floor to ceiling?
That's why we just break one.
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Jimmy!
- No, look...
- Cut your fuckin' hand off.
If you break that window
or you crack a door,
or anything, he's gonna kill me.
I'm gonna be the one that dies.
It's a murder spree, things
are bound to get messy.
Look, as long as we
can mop it up, I'm calm.
That's the kinda
messy Jimmy likes.
But the real issue here,
your brother is inside,
he's got the house keys
and the IQ of a toaster.
If we don't find another
way in there fast,
he's gonna start
breaking everything.
Yeah.
(CAR APPROACHES)
That's not good.
Hide.
(DOOR RATTLES)
He left.
Oh, thank god.
(KNOCKS)
That was the front door.
We're saved!
What?
Maybe it's the
police or something.
Sara, why would
you think that?
Because if it was one of
them, they'd just come inside.
Sara, they could just
be trying to trick us.
(KNOCKS)
MAN: Hello?
They're here to save us!
It's the cops!
KATE: Sara, don't.
(DOOR CREAKS)
(KNOCKS)
I told you.
They're gone.
I don't think
this a good idea.
I know it's not a good idea.
(KNOCKS)
Sara, wait.
You're not the cops.
No shit.
What took you so long?
I called you guys
like 1,000 times.
I got lost coming up here.
Did you guys order a
large sausage pizza?
Mel did. (SOBS)
Okay?
Well, Mel owes me
22.50, plus tip.
Mel's dead.
(SIGHS) Sure she is.
Mel's dead, I'm the cops.
Look, can you guys just pay me,
so I can get the
hell outta here?
I mean, my boss has me runnin'
all over the town tonight.
You know, you guys live
in the fuckin' mountains,
- and I'm just...
- Get inside.
Seriously, just give me
22 bucks, I'll get out...
Come on!
Oh, shit!
- What the fuck is happenin'?
- I'm so glad you're safe.
I'm sorry, I thought
he was the cops.
I really don't feel good.
Excuse me?
Hi, hello.
What the hell is going on?
ANGIE: Those people
are trying to kill us.
Why don't y'all just run
through the front door?
They've got the
place surrounded.
No, but he's
got a point, like,
why don't we make a run for it?
You, you played softball.
I played soccer.
- I played lacrosse.
- Done.
- Done?
- I mean, you played softball.
I played soccer, cute
girl play lacrosse.
You know what that means?
What does it mean, pizza guy?
It means we're fast.
- (SIGHS)
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What?
There's a spiked baseball
bat out there waiting
for us to do something stupid.
Look, you guys can
hang around all you like.
I've got two more
deliveries to make,
and if they're not there
in 30 minutes, it's free.
(SARA SPLUTTERS)
Damn!
- Sara?
- It's not the pizza.
How much of that champagne
did you have to drink?
Oh my god, the champagne.
Sara?
Wake up.
She's not breathing.
Feel her pulse.
Angie.
Sara?
Sara, wake up.
Sara, wake up.
(DARK ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Sara!
I'm sorry.
No!
I'm sorry about your friend
too, but we really have to go.
Angie.
(DOOR CREAKS)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
I think we're good.
I think we're good.
- Let's get the hell outta here.
- Hey, pizza guy!
You forgot the ranch.
(GRUNTS)
(ANGIE SCREAMS)
(PIANO KEYS CLUNK)
Oh, shit!
Wait, pizza guy!
Sara?
(ANGIE WHINES)
Hey.
That's my name.
No shit?
Well, then I guess this
was meant to be. (LAUGHS)
(THUD)
(GROANS)
My tongue.
(SPEAKING IN SLOW MOTION)
I bit my fucking tongue.
Bite this.
(SHARP THUD)
(MOODY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Pizza guy!
(YELPS)
Slashed the tires.
- No!
- No, I did.
Just look, you
can't go anywhere.
It's over.
What's your name?
Sara.
(SIGHS) It's over, Sara.
You're gonna die.
Fuck you!
Fuck me? Fuck you.
(THUD)
(YELPS)
Shit, you hit me in
the fuckin' eye, Sara!
I can't see out of my eye.
(SARA PANTS AND SOBS)
(AX THUDS)
(SARA WHINES)
(GRUNTS)
(SARA SCREAMS)
Hey, Sara.
(SARA SOBS)
Please, no.
Aw, yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's over, Sara.
(SHARP THUD)
(SARA GRUNTS)
(SHARP THUDS)
(SARA SCREAMS AND SOBS)
How's that feel, Sara?
(SHARP THUD)
(PANTS)
Fuck!
Fuckin'!
(SARA PANTS AND WHINES)
No.
(SHARP THUD)
(CHRISTINE GRUNTS)
Sara...
(BODY THUDS)
Do you think
Sara got out okay?
I don't know, I
didn't hear a car start.
Maybe she ran.
Maybe.
- Is that gonna work?
- I...
I don't know, I think this
is how you do it, right?
I guess.
I can't really feel anything.
I'm so sorry.
How many more are there?
I don't know,
I think just one.
There could be more but
I haven't seen them.
I can't believe
they haven't tried
to break that door down yet.
(SIGHS)
Kate?
I'm just resting
my eyes for a second.
You killed that guy.
He hurt you.
He would have killed us
both if he had the chance.
Are you hurt?
I was just thinking about
Niagara Falls with Mom and Dad.
I really do miss you.
I wasn't just saying that.
I miss you, too.
(SIGHS)
I talk to Dad a
few times a year.
Holidays, birthdays.
I don't think I got a call
from you on my last birthday.
I was staring at your
contact in my phone
for about an hour.
(SIGHS) I cannot believe we
locked our phones in the car.
(LAUGHS)
How dumb are we?
I should leave.
I should leave, I should
just leave, I can leave.
I'm not a killer, right?
No, I have asthma.
Killers don't have asthma,
you know? (GIGGLES)
I've had an inhaler in my
pocket the entire killing spree.
I have carpet on my dashboard,
that is very sensible.
Killers don't have carpet
on their dashboards, okay?
I don't even text when I drive.
Who am I even talking to?
Who am I even talking to?
I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go,
I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go.
(CAR STARTS)
I mean, I have to kill them
whether I want to or not,
because they know what
I look like, right?
Either you kill those girls
or you die, or you start
a new life somewhere and you
never see your father again.
I can use the shotgun,
it would be effective.
It would definitely kill them,
but also, pretty grisly, huh?
I could just drive away and go.
I can go, I can go, I can
go, I can go, I can go.
I'm gonna use the knife, go
in once and then I could even
leave the knife there, you know,
just goes in and then dead,
and they get to keep the
knife, they keep the knife.
You.
You.
You look like a killer to me.
I'm just gonna take a few
minutes to rest my eyes,
and then I'm gonna go back
in and kill them, okay?
(CRICKETS CHIRP)
(SOMBER ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
I haven't said this before.
I'm really sorry that I
missed out on so much.
It's hard.
I brought this for you.
Oh my god!
Where did you find it?
I kept it around
after you left.
I don't really know why.
Thank you.
I love him.
Dad wanted me to bring you
something nice. (CHUCKLES)
He's gonna be
so upset with me.
Why?
I haven't called
since Christmas.
You haven't talked
to Dad since last year?
I've been busy.
How is he doing,
is he doing better?
Dad's worse, Ange.
We just found out.
How come nobody told me?
I thought you knew.
He must hate me.
No, he doesn't hate you.
The only reason
I'm here is because
he practically begged me.
- Oh.
- No, I... (SIGHS)
I didn't mean it
like that, I just...
What did you mean it like?
I want to be here.
And Dad just wants to
see us happy, you know?
Nobody hates you, Ange.
It's actually the opposite.
It's pretty disgusting.
(ANGIE LAUGHS)
ANGIE: (sighs) I'm tired.
Yeah.
Yeah, we should...
You should get some sleep
and I'll stay up, okay?
We have a better chance of
getting out of here alive
if we wait for daylight.
Will you wake me up
if something happens?
KATE: Yeah.
(SOMBER PIANO MUSIC)
(BIRDS TWEET)
ANGIE: Kate?
Hey.
Hey, how are you feeling?
I had the best dream, but
I can't remember it now.
That's okay.
If we get outta
here, I wanna go home.
- I wanna see Dad.
- We'll see Dad.
(SIGHS)
There has to be an answer here.
We can't run.
KATE: No.
If Sara didn't get away, the
car must be broken somehow.
There's still at least some...
What?
We're in the
middle of nowhere.
You said it yourself, no
one's climbing up that hill.
They drove here.
One of them has to
have a set of keys.
- Which one?
- The one in the house?
If he has the
keys to the house...
Then he has keys to the car.
I have to go look.
- Take me with you.
- No, you're safer here.
If he finds me, I'm dead.
Alright, come on.
(MOODY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
(DOOR CREAKS)
Wow.
He stayed like that all night.
That's crazy.
Isn't that crazy?
Is he alive?
I don't think so.
Look at his head.
(KEYS CLINK)
Come on, Kate.
This guy is full of shit.
Looking for these?
(ANGIE SCREAMS)
You know, (CHUCKLES)
I gotta say,
this really was supposed
to go a lot smoother.
And I want you to know,
please believe me,
this was not my
idea, not at all.
Even so...
I have to...
Kill you now.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, you don't know what
this is doing to me.
Emotionally, psychologically,
all of it, okay?
Don't make this harder
than it has to be, okay?
Deal?
You brought this on yourself.
Be reasonable,
I mean, (CHUCKLES)
you saw what we did
to your friends?
Do you see what
we did to yours?
They weren't friends.
They were family.
They were family.
(MOODY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Again, I'm...
I am sorry about this, you know?
(ANGIE GRUNTS)
KATE: Go, I'll be fine, go!
Please stop running!
I thought we made a deal.
I'm a killer, I'm a killer,
I'm a killer, I'm a killer.
I'm a killer, I'm a killer.
(THUD)
(KATE GRUNTS)
(KATE AND JIMMY GRUNT)
(BAT CLUNKS)
(THUDS)
(JIMMY GRUNTS)
Kate!
Angie!
(THUD)
(GRUNTS)
(JIMMY COUGHS)
(PANTS)
(RETCHES AND COUGHS)
(JIMMY SPLUTTERS)
Oh, god.
It hurts.
- It hurts so much.
- Why are you doing this?
- Water.
- No way.
- Water.
- Don't touch me.
Can you just pull
it out, please?
- What's your name?
- Jimmy.
Oh, god.
I can't feel my legs.
I know you'll do the
right thing here, Jimmy.
Why did you do this?
We didn't have a choice, okay?
He made us do it.
Who made you do it?
We were supposed to
wait for you to drink
all the champagne, but Terry
went in early and fucked us.
He fucked us, he fucked us.
I swear, I spent
most of the night
trying to convince
myself to leave.
What do you do?
I'm a bellhop.
KATE: A bellhop?
Yeah, at the Motel California.
It's my family's place.
My Dad owns this house.
I know where that motel is.
That's where we were
thinking of staying, but,
but Mel found that
LA BnB instead.
Yeah, that really
hurt his feelings.
Well, your prices
are too high.
I've been telling
him that for years.
I thought you just
said he owns this house?
He does.
I can see your point.
Sometimes I don't
know which way is up.
What?
I'm sorry.
(KEYS CLINK)
There's a surprise
for you in the trunk,
and the motel isn't far.
Dad just said you'd die.
I wonder what he'll
say when he meets me.
(MOODY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Look at that.
Shouldn't we should
call the police?
(CAR STARTS)
Motel California.
Are we going in there?
We are not going anywhere.
I'll be back.
(SHOTGUN COCKS)
Oh, yeah, I know.
(DOORBELL DINGS)
Dad, I know.
Yeah, they said they're gonna
call when they're finished.
So they're probably
not done yet.
(BELL DINGS)
One minute.
Give me a minute, please.
Yeah, no that's what
I'm saying is I wish
I wouldn't have pussied
out of the whole thing
'cause that chick
was so fuckin' hot.
Yeah, the one that
rented the place.
(BELL DINGS)
God, if they would have kept
her alive, I, I would have...
(BELL DINGS)
Damnit, one second, Dad.
Hi.
(MOODY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
(SHOTGUN FIRES)
Fuck yeah!
How many did you kill?
All of them.
(FATHER SIGHS)
Well, I hear we got some, too.
You...
Followed us?
Who are you?
I run the motel, sweetheart.
Jimmy's dad.
Wasn't easy getting
him to agree to this.
Terry and Christine,
on the other hand,
they were mature about it.
There was simpler
times, sweetheart.
I grew up running
through these halls,
swimming in the pool,
meeting the guests.
This place has been in my
family for generations.
That used to mean
a lot, you know?
Generations.
Leaving somethin'
for your children.
Jimmy.
Tino.
People are supposed to work and
earn their convenience, bitch.
You and everybody like you,
you think you're
entitled to everything.
You forget about us.
We made this bed and
you're fuckin' us in it.
You think you can phase me out?
Huh? (LAUGHS)
No, ma'am.
Not me.
Not Briskman.
LA BnB.
L-A-B-N-B.
Fuck.
Who really wants strangers
staying in your house?
Who wants to open themselves
up to that kind of scrutiny?
We do that here, and we want to.
It's our job.
It's our pleasure.
We give you a couple
nights in peace,
HBO, breakfast from six to ten.
We smile when you walk
in the front door.
We care about you here.
Are you kidding?
This is the kind of place people
sleep with their clothes on
and wear flip flops
in the shower.
You think people actually
want to stay here?
They don't.
You know how long we've
been in this town, bitch?
Don't call me that.
Do you know how many guests
have stayed here, bitch?
Don't call me that.
I have run this motel
for more than 30 years.
Who gives you the right
to take that away from me?
Those girls you killed...
They have families,
they have lives!
Casualties for the cause.
Martyrs for the masses.
And what cause
is that exactly?
Money?
You know, you have a really,
really nice fucking house.
This is war, sweetheart.
The news gave me the idea.
A driver for one of
those ride share scams
was accused of molestation.
It was trending.
Molestation was trending.
Now, you think about that.
If we could make the news
and taint the LA BnB name,
we could win our
reputation back.
We would have something to
leave for the next generation.
You did all of this so
you could get on the news?
You make it grisly enough
and you're primetime, baby.
If you're primetime,
people listen.
(GLASS SMASHES)
We are primetime, bitch.
We're fucking primetime.
Who the fuck are you?
(SHOTGUN COCKS)
I'm Killer Kate.
(SHOTGUN FIRES)
(BODY CLUNKS)
(SIGHS)
You're soaked.
Hey, I'm really sorry about
your bachelorette party.
(ANGIE CHUCKLES)
It's not your fault.
We'll have to tell Mel
and Sara's families.
Sara just got married.
Funerals.
Memorials at the school.
The news is probably
gonna wanna talk to us.
I can't wait to see Trent.
Who's Trent?
This guy from work.
I wonder if I'll
have to go to court
for all those people I killed.
I don't even know
how that stuff works.
It was self-defense, you
didn't do anything wrong.
(SOMBER PIANO MUSIC)
I love you.
I love you, too.
(KATE AND ANGIE SIGH)
Let's go see Dad.
Yeah.
(CAR STARTS)
(MOODY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
Sometimes I feel the
end's coming closer
Sometimes I feel this
black hole inside
Sometimes I leave
and you take me wrong
Sometimes you find
the place where I hide
Walk away
Take the blow
Turn around and
say it was my fault
Don't fear the Sun,
been here forever
Don't fear the Sun,
you'll get to know
Don't fear the Sun,
been here forever
Don't fear the
Sun, and let me go
Sometimes I dream
the nightmare is over
Sometimes I see there's
blood in your eyes
Sometimes I stay and
you take me wrong
Sometimes you heal my
heart with your lies
Walk away
Take the blow
Turn around and
say it was my fault
Don't fear the Sun,
been here forever
Don't fear the Sun,
you'll get to know
Don't fear the Sun,
been here forever
Don't fear the
Sun, and let me go