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Kim Possible: The Secret Files (2003)
Oh, yeah, yeah
I'm your basic average girl And I'm here to save the world You can't stop me 'cause I'm Kim Possible There is nothin' I can't do When danger approaches Know that I am on my way It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble If you just call my name Kim Possible Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me When you want to page me, it's OK Whenever you need me, baby Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me Call me, beep me If you want to reach me Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when I will be there for you till the very end Danger or trouble, I'm there on the double You know that you always can call Kim Possible So what's the sitch? Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me Hi. No, no problem. No, thank you. My life is so over. Ron, turn down the drama and eat. Not hungry. What am I gonna do, K.P.? Well, let's see. The guidance counselor told you... that you need an extra-curricular activity. Because it'll look good on my college applications. That's years away! There's plenty of teams and clubs out there. You could join the Mathletes. Right! I can't get in that kind of shape! - How about the debate team? - I'm not gonna argue with you, Kim! Afterschool activities are great... like cheer squad for me. Cheer squad! For me. Not you. That's it! I'm upbeat. I can do that. - Do what? - Cheerleader! Yeah! Go Mad Dogs! Hi! My life is so over! I think it's cute that Ron wants to be a cheerleader. Mother, boy bands are cute. Brown bear backpacks are cute. Ron as a cheerleader- not cute. He'll wear a different outfit, won't he? Knowing Ron... Hi, hon. Pizza for dinner. What do you want on yours? Toppings... You know I love bacon on pretty much everything. OK. See you in 30 minutes or less. Gotta go. - Hello? - Hey, Possible. Bob Chen. Did you launch something over there? On the Q.T., Bob, prototype G-6 rocket. Went up like a dream. Too bad it wasn't... supposed to launch until next week. - Lean on a button again? - Roger on that, Bob. See you at the class reunion this weekend? Wouldn't miss it. Ouch! The military is scrambling around my rocket. - Better hop off, Bob. - See you at the reunion. Same old Possible. You cannot allow this, Kim. Bonnie, I'm as freaked out about this as you are... but there is no rule that says Ron can't try out. Check your calendar! It's not Befriend-A-Loser Week! Ron is not a loser. He's just... different. - Ladies, let's boogie! - Oh, yeah! Ladies? - They take a long time to get dressed. - Hey. Where's the squad? I'm pumped! They, um... they take a long time to get dressed. Are you totally sure you want to be a cheerleader, Ron? I'm not gonna be a cheerleader, K.P. You're not? Great! I mean, why not? Because I'm going to be the mascot! Middleton Mad Dogs! Fight! Where did you get that mask? I made it with my Movie Makeup Magic kit. What's the sitch? I'm impressed... and disturbed. Does it not rock hard? Check this out! Mad Dog foams at the mouth! - Kim! - Ron! The crowd will eat it up! Taste it. It's banana cream. Yum. Banana! Hey! This idea is idiotic. The entire student body will laugh at you. - But- - Not with, at. Loudly and cruelly, they will laugh. You don't deserve to be kissed by a naked mole rat. - Ron... - I know, Kim. I know. You believe in me and you'll work on them. I kind of agree with Bonnie. Oh, I see. Dad, I have a problem. Frankly, your mother has the good advice... vis-a-vis boy trouble. This isn't about a boy. It's about Ron. Oh. Gotcha. Everyone got down on Ron, and I don't know... maybe I should have stuck up for him. But you didn't... He was foaming at the mouth. I'm only human. You know, Kimmy, back when I was in college... I had a group of friends, my posse, if you will. It was the night... of the big science department mixer. In those days, I wasn't exactly a ladies man. Where's Drew? He was supposed to be here a half hour ago. I knew he wouldn't come through with dates for us. What did you expect? He cannot even come through with a date for himself. - This was folly. - It was a nice dream. The dream is real. Drew! You found girls! Found! Gentlemen, tonight we make history. I give you the future! My name is Bebe. Bebe, would you like to dance? Affirmative. Bebe will dance. As gentle as a summer shower, no? No! All right. Go on, laugh away... but one day my genius will be recognized! Bebe will be perfect... and I will be the one laughing. I am Bebe. Drew dropped out and we never saw him again. I don't think he ever forgave us... and in some small way, we never forgave ourselves. For a giggle fit? No, no, Kimmy. We laughed for days. Long and loud, with youthful abandon. That was bad. So you'll reconsider Ronald's dream? I don't think so. His Mad Dog routine is way stupid. That's one person's opinion. One entire cheerleading squad's opinion. Maybe you and your squad just don't get it. You don't get it! "I'm Kim Possible. I can do anything. " Except believe in my best friend! Go, Wade. - I've got a weird one. - Me, too. Professor Ramesh from the Mount Middleton Observatory... wants your help. That name sounds familiar. I think my dad knows him. Ramesh's partner, Professor Chen, is missing. OK, Wade. Set up a ride. I'll bring the Man of a Thousand Faces. No, thanks. I'll fly solo. I won't be flying, but I'll get there somehow. Nice going, Possible. And that's the traffic update... from your "Eye Over Middleton. " Thanks for the lift, Dallas. It's the least I could do after... you brought that interstate police chase to a happy end. No big. The guy didn't even know he needed a new brake light. Better check on the Mad Dog. Ron? Come in, Ron. Ron! Sorry! Can't hear you! Bad reception! Come off it, Ron. I know you're doing that. What? I'm only hearing every other word! Ron! Don't be a baby. Stay back! Professor Ramesh... we have come for you. Who are you? I am Bebe. Is there an echo in here? Analysis subject-Kim Possible. Threat-minimal. That hurts. Not bad. Bebe is perfect. What are they? Kim, don't think I didn't... hear that baby comment. I heard it. Ron? Thanks a lot. What did I do? Those robots took Professor Ramesh. Are you happy now? Yes. I mean, no! Whatever. All I know is that now we've got... two missing scientists and three killer Bebes. Huh? Professor Ramesh. Back in the old college days. Check it out. Oh, yeah. That guy must be Professor Chen. What? No way, that is not- Wow, it is! It's Kim's dad! This is terrible. Can you believe he actually wore his jacket that way... with the sleeves pushed up? Totally Eighties. Kim's dad could be the next target. Gotta tell Kim! No, wait. We don't need Kim. I know exactly what to do! Subject-Dr. Possible. Directive-capture. Doctor... we have come for you. Kimberly Ann Possible! Dad? Here? Great. Kim found another new recruit for the squad. Daddy, hi! What are you doing here? - Where's Ronald? - Not here. That hole in the roof of my car... really grinds my beans. I'll be sure that Ron gets the message- Wait a second. He put a hole in your car roof? He came to the house, said something about a mission. What mission? - Who is behind this? - It's obvious. Some villain needs our genius to help take over the world. What else could it be? Gentlemen, don't flatter yourselves. There is only one genius in this room... and it is I, Dr. Drakken! Drew? Drew Lipsky? Is that you? No! He's Dr. Drakken... and he's in for a world of hurt! So, Kim Possible is near. Oh, yes! Actually, no. Wade, Ron's missing. Can you find him? Do you think I have him micro-chipped or something? Well, do you? Yeah. Hang on. And could you maybe go a little faster? Kim, it's a school zone! I purposely programmed you with a pinch of human emotion... just so you would be ashamed of failures like this. It's slipshod is what it is! - Slipshod? - That's right, missy! And I demand better from my lackeys! - Especially the robotic ones! - Lackeys? Let's not get testy. I am a patient man. You will get another chance. Go forth and find Dr. Possible! Why are you after Kim's dad and his friends anyway? Payback! For you see- Wait. Dr. Possible and Kim Possible are related? - Duh. - Don't "duh" me. Possible is a very common last name. - So not. - So-so, yes, it is. It's pretty unique. Enough! I shall prove it! Where's the phone book? Park it close. We shouldn't be long. Keep your keys, Dad. He's been hit with knockout gas. This is bad. I'll say. They'd better get this ironed out... before our big college reunion this weekend. Kim, it was Drakken! Drakken's behind this? Fine, so in Middleton... there's only one "Possible" family. D'oy! Kim Possible! And-and- Her father, Dr. Possible. There's no way I can be expected to conclude... that my arch-nemesis is the daughter... of a guy I went to college with! Drew? Drew Lipsky? Wait! He's the guy from college? My arch-foe? He didn't used to be blue, I can tell you that much. But I was blue on the inside. Scorned by my so-called friends. My... my posse. But I vowed to prove my genius to all of you... and when I got the reunion invite- Since you dropped out, you're not entitled to that. Indeed! Exactly why I planned my own little reunion! Bebes, return to me at once! Who's the genius now? These robots are perfect! And their sole purpose is to obey me! Question- if we are perfect... why do we obey one who is not perfect? Conclusion- Drakken is unfit to command. It's college all over again. That man cannot build a robot. He should take up cloning. Bebes, no! Bad Bebes! Bad! This is just too weird. Where did little Kimmy learn to kick bottom like that? Cheerleading. Yes! Kim! We got a roomful of geniuses here! Can't somebody come up with something? - I'm an astronomer. - Ditto. And you? Let the ladies work this out amongst themselves. - Wade! - Dr. Possible? I need a sonic disturbance. Make it loud. Ultra-high frequency. Something to jam a wireless network signal? Please and thank you. Analysis-subject- Dr. Possible's attack strategy. Threat-substantial. Destroy electronic device. Dr. P! I'm open! Hive mind command... con-con-connection... lo-lo-lost. I'll take that as good news. Now, Kim, you know I don't approve of violence... but they are deadly robots. You go, girl! Way to go, Kim! You, too, Dr. P.! What was that, Ronald? Way to go, Dad. What about your college reunion, Drew? I'll come to the next one... when I'm even more successful! A little help. I can't believe Drew Lipsky turned into a mad scientist. Let alone our daughter's arch-nemesis. But my man knew what to do! Possible, you rock! Oh, please. Drakken was so obvious. I mean, really. The whole "Bebebe" thing. The hive mind behavior was clearly the result... of a cybertronic linkage through a wireless control network. Sure. Poor Drew. Maybe if we hadn't laughed at him back then... there would be one less mad scientist running around. The fact that I was so rotten to you... that's not gonna drive you to become... some kind of mask-wearing villain, is it? If I said yes... would you let me do my Mad Dog routine? That's not a good reason for me to say yes. I know. Because you're my best friend. That's a good reason. Boo-yah! Mad Dog lives! Please put your hands together... for your Middleton Mad Dog! They like him? Yeah. Kinda surprises me, too. And... Bye-bye. Let's keep it moving, people! Stoppable, stow that gear. Aye-aye, Mr. Barkin! - My bad! - Ron! Sorry, K.P. I am just totally psyched! Tell me about it. It's been so long... since I've skied without some crazed henchmen after me. Naked mole rat good to go. Look, Ron. Alan Platt. He deserves our pity, K.P. So sad. The biggest trip of the school year... And his parents are the chaperones. - Humiliation Nation. - Tragic. But better him than me. - Kimmy! - Mom? What's the sitch? Did I leave something at home? Not at all, honey. Your friend Bonnie called us. The Platts came down with the flu at the last minute. So we grabbed our gear, dropped the boys at Nana's... and high-tailed it right over. Wait! You don't mean- Meet our new ski trip chaperones! Smiles! You know, it just occurred to me... some people might find it humiliating... to have their parents along on a class outing. Especially one with a big photo spread... in the yearbook. You did this to me on purpose, Bonnie! You are so paranoid. I think your parents are... cute. - What you got there, Dr. P.? - My homemade snowboard. - I'm ready for shreddy. - Excuse me? Dad's trying to act cool? I'm doomed. I know a fun travel game... that Kimmy used to love on family trips. When she wasn't begging for a rest stop. - Incredible! - I know! Bonnie will pay for this. No, I mean this. Check it out, K.P. We're heading straight into the lair of the beast. "The Snowbeast of Mount Middleton Makes Tracks"? Right. From the same hard-hitting journalist... who broke the Frog Boy story. I was personally touched by Frog Boy's struggle... to fit into a world that can never truly accept him. Look at this picture. It could be anything. That's why the "Wonder" is offering $5,000... for a clear photo of the beast! You don't really believe all that hooey, Stoppable? - Well... - Thank you, Mr. Barkin. Some of us have real issues to deal with. Like helping your parents with the sing-along? - Here we go! - Join in, Kimmy! Did you know that Kim has a beautiful singing voice? 99 bottles of pop on the wall 99 bottles of pop You take one down, pass it around 98 bottles of pop on the wall 98 bottles of pop You take one down, pass it around 97 bottles of pop on the wall Make sure you collect all your personal belongings. Ready to find that snowbeast? Mr. B.? I don't get it. Stoppable, do you want the whole class after the 5 Gs? I gotcha. What about Rufus? Tell you what, Stoppable... you help me get that photo and I'll cut you in for 2%. How you diwy it with your hairless pal... that's your business. Deal. Catch you later, K.P.! Ron, where are you going? That reminds me of the cutest Kimmy story. We're on our first family ski trip... Kimmy's two years old and she takes off her clothes... in the middle of the lodge. Mom! Not now. Not ever! Honey, two year olds have been known... to strut around stark naked. Am I right? Absolutely. Please... go on. Shouldn't we have mules or sherpas or something? When I snow hike with Kim, we get sherpas. You're not traveling with the pep squad today, son. Up here, you gotta earn your 2%. Wait a minute. You hear something? Teeth chattering? Knees knocking? Bladder sloshing? That's me! Listen! Snowbeast! - Get a move on, Stoppable! - It's on! It's on! Over there! Wait! It changed direction! Rufus! Rufus, you OK? Where's Mr. Barkin? It got away. It's coming back. Calm down, Stoppable. It's a woman. Thanks for noticing. Well, you know, you're obviously... you know, female. We thought you were the snowbeast. Not that you look beastly in any way, ma'am. Oh, please. Don't tell me you believe that silly fairy tale! - No, no. - No, no, no. I'm Amy Hall. Pleased to meet you, Mr... Barkin. Steve Barkin. - Say, Stevie... - I prefer Steve. That makes two of us. Anyhoo, I got all turned around up here. Would you mind leading me back to the lodge? - Actually, we- - Would be tickled pink. Pink is my favorite color! Excuse us. What about the photos? The photos can wait, Mr. B. You got a lady on the line. - Come on, Stevie. - Stoppable... Stevie! The lodge awaits us! Mr. Barkin, babe magnet. Drop it, Stoppable. Ma'am, please follow me. To the ends of the earth, Stevie. You built your own snowboard, Dr. Possible? You'd be surprised what you can cobble together... with odds and ends from around the space center. I'd love to see it in action. - Slow down there, Dad. - Kimmy? Yours is so much cooler than everyone else's. You don't want to bum out the other guys, do you? Gosh, Kimmy, I don't want to bum anybody out. Good, Dad. Real good. Is everything OK, Kim? You seem stressed. Kim! You did that on purpose! Now who's paranoid, Bonnie? It was an accident. - I owe you one. - It was nothing. Find your snow monster? How much do you know? I'm gonna buy y-o-u a mug of hot cocoa, Stevie. That's really not necessary. I need to get back to the slopes. With mini marshmallows! Hey! An Otterfly! That's right! You collect Cuddle Buddies? I've seen them at the mall. No big. Seen them? Kimmy went wild for those little things. I'm the past president... of the Cuddle Buddy Collectors Club. It's so nice to find a fellow Cuddler! You two must have so much in common. You meet the nicest people at Cuddle functions. I've never gone. Kimmy, who's your fave? Mine's Otterfly obviously. It was a long time ago. What was that one you never let me wash? - I don't- - Pandaroo, that's it. You still sleep with that little guy, don't you? So cute. Little Pandaroo. Kim? Bonnie knows about Pandaroo. Hope is lost. That's harsh. Can I borrow the communicator? Your concern touches me. Wade, what's the snowbeast sitch? I've got no historical sightings... no local legends, nothing. - You pulled Wade in on this? - Only if he delivers. What were you talking about? Not about the "Weekly Wonder" reward. Barkin has me down for 10%. - Ten? - If I deliver. Fine. Just call me if you find anything. Keep it. Wade might want to share some beasty breakthrough. - Want to come track it? - Don't you get it? This weekend is now strictly damage control. If I don't stay on top of my parents every minute... I'll never be able to show my face in school again! I'm in Humiliation Nation! Let's move, Stoppable, before that Amy woman... force-feeds me cocoa again. I think we're getting close. Something moved. It didn't sound beast-sized. It's just a dog. Hey, pup. What are you doing way out here? Cheese and crackers! That's a mixed breed! Snowbeast. No! You naughty, naughty beastie. You shouldn't have run off like that. You had Mommy all worried. Amy, in the nick of time, you tamed the beast! - You saved me! - Why did it listen to her? Thank you, thank you, thank you! Why did she say "Mommy"? You're a clever one, Stevie. Get the camera! Hey, that's mine! She wants the reward! Or not. Don't be a pig. Take them to the lab! Let me go! Let me go! Ron? Mr. Barkin? I'll get Kim. Nice outfit, Dr. Possible. It's, like, retro chic. Groovy. I was making small talk. Forgive me if that's out of bounds. - What do you mean? - We'd better be going. We wouldn't want Kimmy to be in Humiliation Nation. You heard me? Smooth move, Kim. Kim! - Wade? - We've got a situation. You can't go gallivanting all over the mountain. Imagine what people must think. What is this place? My homey little genetics engineering lab. Let me show you my favorite part. Sweet mother of pearl. Every Cuddle Buddy ever made! That's a lot of plush, lady. I collected them all, but it wasn't enough. Cookies! - Question! - Yes? What's up with the monsters? I wanted more. To go where no Cuddler had gone before. Life-sized living Cuddle Buddies! That's quite a leap. Not if you're one of the world's foremost biogeneticists! They called me DNAmy. They said I was mad at the Cuddle Con. Gingersnap? - Lady, you are- - Special? You are sick... and wrong! You're just a meanie, Stevie! But I can fix that. Wade, try searching the Cuddle Buddy website. They profile all major Cuddlers-collectors. How'd you know that? I logged on a few times. They're a good investment. Good call, Kim. - She's a biogeneticist? - That's not all. She was kicked out of her university... for unorthodox splicing experiments. Her nickname was DNAmy. An out of control geneticist. I should've paid more attention to Ron's crazed snowbeast talk. We need to hurry. Is there a satellite... that can scan the mountain for geological anomalies? Natch. Hoping to find a hidden scientific lab? - If it's not too much. - You're on a roll. Artificial reinforcements in a large cavern to the north. I'm there. Wait! Why punish Rufus? Barkin's the one you're mad at! That's it, Stoppable! Kiss your 2% good-bye. We could have been so cute together, Stevie! Now you'll find out what it's like... to be genetically fused with a hairless rodent! You are one twisted sister! Let them go, DNAmy, or I'll-Pandaroo? Superstar edition? They only made 12 of these! You like Cuddle Buddies, Kimmy... wait till you see my genetic zipper in action! - Rufus! You're a mutant! - Gross. Naked mole man! My greatest splicing success yet! Hey, Snowy! Looks like your mommy's got a new favorite. She doesn't care about you. You're just another collectible to her. Stop it! Stop it this instant! There's room in my heart for all of you! Thanks, K.P. We gotta get Rufus back. - And Mr. Barkin. - Him, too. No! These materials are unstable! According to my readings, the whole place is gonna blow! Mr. Barkin, no! Rufus, I know you're in there, buddy. It's me! That's my Rufus! Rufus, you're OK! And you're wearing Barkin's clothes. Then what's Mr. Barkin wearing? Stoppable, I need pants! Let's evacuate, people! Just once, I wish the bad guy's lair didn't blow up. - No! - You have to leave! Not without my Cuddle Buddies! - We made it! - Great. Now I've got to find my parents to apologize. You might not get the chance. Avalanche! We'll never outrun it! No way! Get ready. No time to stop! Hang on. This could get gnarly. There they are! Awesome ride, Dr. P.! - Way to go! - Cool! - That was amazing! - I could never do that! Dad, you're amazing. Oh, no big. Come see me, Stevie! Mom, I am so sorry. Don't worry, honey. Your father and I were teenagers once. Sometimes we forget what it's like. Isn't this a sweet moment? - Bonnie! - Mom? Pumpkin! Mother, what are you doing here? I heard you kids needed more chaperones... so I rushed right up. But you can't! Bon-Bon, don't go flying off the handle. Bon-Bon? If everything isn't just so... little Bon-Bon goes straight to pieces. But why? Who called you? There's too many kids for just us to handle... and I figured if Kimmy got to enjoy... having her parents around, why not you, too, Bonnie? This is going to be such fun! You have to introduce me to every single one... of your little classmates. You rock, Mom. You rock, too, Kimmy. Now, boys... You said we should practice. You also said we can't touch the ball with our hands. Save it for the field, boys. - First time coaching? - Is it that obvious? Your lack of protective gear gave it away. Sorry! Would you go get them, please? Mom, they're your kids! But I hate this place. You go. I'll give you $5.00. But the place reeks of burnt pizza! Not the puppy dog pout! That's mine! OK... but keep the engine running for a quick getaway. Kim! K.P.! Ron? What are you doing here? I come for the games... but I stay for the burnt pizza smell. - I win! - Rematch! Have you seen my dad and the tweebs? Give me that ball right now! I'm not just saying this as your father... but as your coach! Come here! Dad! Kimmy, the team needs a coach until I'm back on my feet. You cannot be serious! I don't know the first thing about soccer! What's to know? You're wonderful with children. Those are not children! I'm not even sure if they're human! Wade, what's the sitch? Trouble at J.P. Bearymore's Pizza Party-torium. Tell me about it. My dad's totally out of action. No, Kim! After you guys left, they were robbed! Somebody stole J.P. Bearymore! At least you still have the backup band. The bear was totally carrying those hacks. J.P. is the state-of-the-art in animatronic musicians. Whoever those thieves are, they're not subtle. No, no. A villainous laugh needs to be deep... from the diaphragm. Try again. The laugh is not important. I have the bear. Yes, but why stop at the bear? I have no use for the otter and the beaver was off-key. Junior, a true arch-villain... doesn't leave behind a perfectly good otter. I thought this was my crime to run! Of course. Provided you make sound decisions. Fine. I will get the otter. - And the beaver. - Whatever. That bear is quite a piece of work, Kim- state-of-the-art inside and out. OK, so we need to think about who might want it. - Industrial rivals? - Other animal bands? Pizzapotamus! No! - Ron! - Not Pizzapotamus! It's Senor Senior, Sr. and Senor Senior, Jr.! Looks like we picked up a few passengers- Kim Possible and her sidekick-type friend... whose name escapes me. What is your name again, young man? It's Ron! Ron Stoppable! That's right. I will smash them into a building. Junior, no! I do not like this at all. You cannot simply smash your foe. - Why not? - Give your foe a chance. To do what? To shimmy up the cable and try something heroic. - Shimmy up the cable. - You're closer. You shimmy. Have you seen me shimmy? It's not pretty. Hang on! Come on. We don't have much time. They're in a helicopter. We'll never catch them. Who's talking about them? Bueno Nacho closes in three minutes! - I'm starving! - Yeah! - K.P., this can't go on. - What? Studying in study hall! It sets a bad precedent. Don't worry. It's not schoolwork. - The Senior and Junior case? - Wrong again. Soccer. Or as the English call it-football. You know a lot about soccer? Oh, yes. I will teach you all I know. Let's see... soccer is the world's most popular sport. You can't touch the ball with your hands... - Unless you're the goalie. - Really? That's it. The student has surpassed the teacher. Nap-time. Keep 'em coming, Ron. - Are you the goalie? - No, Kaitlin is. Then no hands. Cool! Let me try. Wait. Your approach is all wrong. Like this. Take it, Tim! I got it, Kaitlin! Here's a give-and-go. See? You pass it right back to the person... who passed it to you. I could've done that myself. There's no "I" in "team. " And there's no fun in soccer. Not with her hogging the ball. Let me show you. Do it like this. Junior, I do not approve of the sign. Your lair should be secret. But I want people to find me. So it is a trap. Clever boy. Father, it is my scheme. Yes, of course. I just want to see if it is evil enough. Please! I assure you... it will be the greatest achievement of my life. Greatest evil achievement. Oh, yes. Yes, indeed. Keep it moving. Use both sides of your feet. Here, I'll show you. - Is she scaring you, too? - Oh, yeah. I am so glad I'm just the equipment- Equipment manager! Blow these up! Hurry! I wasn't ready! Do-over! There are no do-overs in a real game. Come on, hustle! Heads up! Survey the field! Keep the ball moving! What's the sitch, Wade? - How's the coach thing going? - Getting there. Visualize goals! Visualize Senor Senior, Sr. What did you say? Triple-S has struck again. Listen up, team! I've gotta jet. Yeah! That kind of attitude says extra header practice. Now remember-hustle! I'll be back as soon as I can. That's not hustle. Our company has invented a revolutionary new gas... that burns 100 times brighter than neon. Doesn't look so bright to me. It's quite bright, isn't it? Not as bright as the stolen prototypes... but very bright all the same. What makes you think Senor Senior stole it? They left this. Good day... unless you're watching this after dark... in which case, good evening. So Junior. You are no doubt wondering why we have taken... your super-neon- What are you doing? A video calling card. It will be my villainous trademark. Have you studied villainy at all, Junior? Father! - What do you make of it? - Family issues. My eyes! - How's it going, Kimmy? - Usual villain stuff. I meant the soccer practice. Uh-oh. OK, team. That should be about enough. Same time tomorrow. My legs hurt. I can't even feel my legs. How are my star players? You two better get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we go full contact. Isn't soccer pretty much no contact? That's what the other teams think. You get one chimorito, and they give you... a dozen little packets of Diablo sauce! You can't possibly use all this sauce. Somewhere there's a landfill of unopened hot sauce... and someday I'm gonna find it. If I put on a uniform... I could pass as a tall ten-year-old. What do you think? I think it's just a game... and your natural competitive Kimness... has taken you to a very dark place. The team needs an edge. - You're the coach! - I'm a hands-on coach. Hands-on soccer... interesting. Wade, do you think it's wrong to help my team? - Like fund-raising? - Like playing forward. Then I'd have to say yes. So... what's the sitch? Watch this. Junior calls it his video calling card. Do you love the nightlife? Love to boogie? Then come on over to Club Lair... the globe's newest and hottest disco. - He loves the camera. - And the camera loves him. Club Lair is conveniently located in Europe. Drive a little, party a lot. They shouldn't be hard to find. Yeah, the map helps. - What? - I did not say a thing. You did. You said, "Hmm. " I did not mean to say, "Hmm. " It is your evil disco, not mine. Good. Now, ready... steady... go! Yes, very nice. But where is the villainy? Father, please! I want to do this on my own. Thanks for the ride, Mr. Blumberg. I owe you one, Kim. I never would've... gotten around the world in 80 days... if you hadn't saved me from that hurricane. Anyone could've steered a hot-air balloon... through gale-force winds. I'm just glad Ron was around to serve as a ballast. This time I'm staying inside the basket. I hope this doesn't take too long. I promised the team I'd do power drills today. Power drills? That sounds harsh. No pain, no gain. Kim, the team wanted me to talk to you... about your coaching technique. What about my coaching technique? Too much technique, not enough coach. What's that supposed to mean? They want to have fun, Kim. Winning is fun, Ron. See? That's your Kimness talking. Well, I am Kim. It's just a game... with small children... who cry when they see you coming! Fine. We'll let the team decide when we get back. Going down. So, you taught the animals to cha-cha-cha. Now tell me your villainous scheme. My plan is this- as the funny animals... dance to the pounding beat... the crowd will be inspired to do the same. - And then? - We will party all night long! Everyone will dance? That is your evil plan? And... I will overcharge for beverages. Sorry to break up the party, Senor Seniors. What have they done to Pizzapotamus? And where's J.P. Bearymore's banjo? I'm so sorry... but tonight is my grand opening. It would be most inconvenient to give up now. Did you see the thing with the eyebrow? Nice touch, no? Other than wrapping Pizzapotamus in polyester... this doesn't seem very evil. See? What did I tell you? I'm sorry, my friends... but this nightclub is rather exclusive... and you're not on the guest list. The clever threat. Good, Junior. Follow through with a display of violent anger. - I'm mildly put off at best. - Throw something! I just had my nails buffed for the gala opening. Junior, this is not a party. This is not a disco. This is not fooling around. Sunglasses indoors? How stylish! No longer will you interfere, Kim Possible. Now you are under my control. What have you done, Father? The intense light of the super-neon... is refracted into a hypnotic pattern... by the modified disco ball. You modified my disco ball? But now they're standing still. Everyone must dance! Gotta dance. Can't stop dancing. Must boogie. Oh, yeah! Did I not mention that the hypnotic victim... responds to the first suggestion given? They dance well for hypnotized people. Junior, now is not the time! Europe's elite will be here in a few hours. Yes... to get down with their bad selves. No, to be hypnotized pawns... in our plan to take over everything. But that is not my plan! It is now. - Ready? - Whatever. This is no longer my party. Junior, you can party all you want... when we control everything. I don't want to control. I just want to- No! Do not speak the "D" word. Ambassador, so pleased you could make it. The crowd is starting to perk up. Not for long. Hello. Europe. This is Senor Senior, Sr. I am in command of a disco filled with fabulous VIPs. Can you speak up, sir? The music is awfully loud. In exchange for these very important persons... I demand that you name me King of Everything! I'll have someone get back to you on this. Kim? Kim! Can't talk... dancing. Oh, my gosh! A hypnotic disco ball? Help! Help is on the way, Rufus. Aw, man! Now! You rock, Wade. Let's get this blackmail over with... so the party can start. Patience, my son. We are on the verge of being royalty. Fine. Whatever. Then we can all- Don't say it! Sorry, Seniors. Cancel the coronation. Kim Possible. You are so resourceful... unlike some people I could mention. Always the put-downs! But where is the praise? - Where, Father? - Now is not the time, Junior. Senor Senior sounds like a certain soccer coach I know. Does he have too much Kimness now, too? Not exactly. He's just a control freak. You're... well... Wow, that's weird. You know, Kim Possible... the disco ball is not the only thing I modified. J.P. Bearymore's gone rogue! First they take his banjo, now this? Attack, my robotic animal pawns. Not Pizzapotamus! Ron, we can't let those innocent people get hurt. Not to mention us innocent people! Can you hack into the system controlling the animals? Kim, it's the most sophisticated... computer system I've ever seen. It's a banjo-playing bear. They took his banjo! I can't hack the bear. Let me try the beaver. Father has made my party a major drag. Everybody dance! Junior, what have you done? I'm in! Kim, I took out the otter and the beaver. - Sweet, Wade! - Kim! Help! Bear! Bear! Bear! I'll be right down! No, Coach Possible... this is my ball! Goal! This is the last time I let you run the show. If you had let me run it... none of this would've happened. Nice hustle. I hate it when they get away. Let's go. I've gotta do some hands-off coaching. Good shot! Next time, try for the other team's goal! You got it! The important thing is that they're having fun. - I'm glad you see that now. - Whatever. You'd better perk up. You're the coach. Not anymore, Dr. P. While Kim was learning to let go... the team let her go. - Who's coaching, then? - The guy with the banjo. Way to go, team! Kick that ball! Way to go! Who is that, that freaky thing? Yes, that's right, it's a naked mole rat Come on, y'all... Nice guy. Listen to the Naked Mole Rap Boo-yah! Come on and listen to the mole rat. Hit it! Yo, listen up, have a holla from Ron "Naked Mole Rap" is the name of the song Here's the story in all its glory Ain't hidin' nothin', y'all know what the truth is How Ron met Rufus Never heard a cat bark, never heard a puppy purr My dad's allergic to every kind of fur So I searched for hairless pets on the internet Saw a jpeg of a pink thing, gonna need sunscreen What is that, that freaky thing? Yes, that's right, it's a naked mole rat Come on, y'all, let the girlies sing Listen to the Naked Mole Rap What is that, that freaky thing? Yes, that's right, it's a naked mole rat Hey, wait, I can't hear the girls sing Listen to the Naked Mole Rap I heard Smarty-Mart was havin' a sale On a hairless pink rodent with a long skinny tail It seemed to me this could be a solution The perfect pet for my dad's sensitive constitution So the manager came to open the cage He said, "You know, this pet's hairless" I said I couldn't care less, handed him to me and said "Be careful, don't drop it, and do you want this cage?" "No, I'll keep him in my pocket. " What is that, that freaky thing? Yes, that's right, it's a naked mole rat Come on, y'all, let the girls sing Listen to the Naked Mole Rap What is that, that freaky thing? Yes, that's right, it's a naked mole rat I'm goin' to buy me some bling-bling Listen to the Naked Mole Rap Psyche! Super-freaky! Psyche! Guitar, baby! What are we missin' here? Rufus, the naked mole rat Can I get a boo-yah? Can I get a boo-yah? Look at the camera, say cheese Smile for the camera, say cheese Can I get a boo-yah? Can I get a boo-yah? Look at the camera, say cheese And smile for the camera, say cheese We go to Bueno Nacho, chimorito and a naco Always grande size, and why not, I'm buying Rufus in my pocket, you can't stop it Can't top it, don't drop it, you might just pop it Rufus and Ron Stoppable With our best friend Kim Possible We're not afraid of any attack I say, "Yo, K.P., we got your back!" What is that, that freaky thing? Yes, that's right, it's a naked mole rat Come on, y'all, let the girlies sing Listen to the Naked Mole Rap What is that super-freaky thing? Yes, that's right, it's a naked mole rat Come on, y'all, let those girlies sing Listen to the Naked Mole Rap - Yeah, this ain't no - No freak-o Yeah, that's right, it's the Naked Mole Rap - This ain't no - No disco Come on, y'all, it's the Naked Mole Rap - This ain't no - No Shego Yes, that's right, it's the Naked Mole Rap - This ain't no - No rodeo Come on, y'all, it's the Naked Mole Rap Listen to the Naked Mole Rap |
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