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Kim Possible (2019)
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WOMAN: So, a few years ago, I accidentally received a distress call. I was done with my homework, so... I answered it. Now, I save the world. Okay, here's the sitch. A big-deal slime scientist has been captured by the evil Professor Dementor, and I'm gonna rescue him. Who am I? I'm Kim Possible. I've done everything you've asked. I formulated the world's most dangerous disintegrating slime. Please, please let me go! I miss my wife, and my kids, and my mold spores. (THICK GERMAN ACCENT) My dear Doctor Glopman. You say this is the "Uber Slime." (TREMBLING) Let's... make... sure. I need backup! Haa! (GRUNT) (GRUNTS) (JETPACK WHIRRS) Ahhhh! Ugh!!! (STRUGGLING GRUNTS) No! (WILD SCREAMING) Ahhhhhh!!!! This is Ron Stoppable. Best friend and best sidekick. (SCREAMING) Ahhhhh!!!!! Are we winning? Ron, look at the hench-dudes you took out. Ha! Ron, you've done it again. Ha-ha! (JETPACK BEEPS AND WHIRRS) Woah! I'm sure Dementor didn't see that. Woah! RON: Uhh... Uhh... Ron, run! (EXPLOSION RUMBLES) Huh? Okay. Might have seen that. (KIMMUNICATOR BEEPS A MELODY) Kim? I've got a target lock. Here, uh, see for yourself. That's our friend, Wade. Resident tech genius. He graduated from college when he was 10. Professor Dementor has the scientist chained up on level 6. You better hurry! Come on, Ron. Let's do this. (LIQUID SIZZLES AND HISSES) (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) Oh. (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) Success! The world is mine! What? (BUBBLING SOUNDS) What? What? Why is it turning all pink and sparkly? I don't know, it's probably just a byproduct of the disintegration process. I cannot take over the world with the pink and the sparkles. Everybody will make the fun. How? They'll all be disintegrated. As will you, Doctor Smartypants. Now... Oh, no. Engage the painfully slow descending hook... into your slimy doom. Please, please don't do this! Please, be reasonable. (EVIL CACKLING) (CACKLING CONTINUES) Oh, my strap is itchy. (GROANS) Please, get me out of here! Slime's up, Professor Dementor. (FURIOUSLY) Fraulein... Possible? Get her! Go! Go! Go! Ron, unhook the dock. I'll take the goons. Go faster, hook. (GRUNTS) Crush her! (GROANS) (GRUNTS) (GROWLS) Ron, grapple me. Oof! (GASPS) Ugh! Ahhhh!!! Ha! What will you do without your grappling hook, Fraulein? (GRUNTS) Oh, that... that is what you will do, oh. You have to push in, and turn. Push in and turn at the same time. Henchmentors, stop that clumsy boy. (STRUGGLING GRUNTS) What are you doing back there? I'm saving you. Uh, help? Kim! Help! Help! (SCREAMS) Oooh! Woah, help us! Aaaah! Ugh! (GROANS) Come on, doc, we gotta get out of here. No, I can't. There's a world-ending supply of deadly slime here. We must destroy it. (GROANS) Wade, I know we gotta fly, but I need you to see if there's a self-destruct button anywhere... COMPUTER VOICE: Self-destruct sequence initiated. Enjoy your death. Found it. (LAUGHS) Looks like I have the only escape pod. (CACKLES) Hey, Wade. Re-route that puppy to the nearest police station. With pleasure. (CACKLING CONTINUES) What... wait? Nein, no! No! Nooooo! Nein! No! Nooooooo! Kim, 30 seconds 'til self-destruct. We gotta go, come on. Take this. Ron and I can share. And from now on, I will only use my slime for the good of humanity. Maybe the occasional kids' award show. (BEEPING) Drone mode, Wade. Let's get Doctor Glopman to safety. Can do. (BEEPING) Woah! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! Uh, Kim, remember what happened to our only other jetpack? (EXPLOSIONS) Okay. I have a plan. Woah. (EXPLOSIONS BOOMING LOUDER) Wade, remote fire Ron's jetpack. (PANICKED) On it! (JETPACK WHIRRS) Hey, Kim? When I told you that one time I'd jump off a cliff for you, I didn't expect it to happen. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!! Oh yeah yeah! I'm your basic average girl And I'm here to save the world You can't stop me 'cause I'm Kim Possible There is nothing I can't do Ahhhhh!!!!! And when danger calls Know that I am on my way On my way It doesn't matter where or when Ahhhhh!!!!! There's trouble If you just call my name Kim Possible! So, what's the sitch? Call me beep me, If you want to reach me. WOMAN (ON TV): And in Europe last night, teen hero Kim Possible capturd her 14th villain this year. I am an innocent escape pod enthusiast! This is police harassment! Europe? No wonder Kimmy got in so late. I'm glad she's home safe and sound. I'm worried about her not getting enough sleep. Yeah, well... Or dissolving in slime. (DRONE WHIZZES) Ugh! Oops. Jim, Tim? Our bad, Mom and Dad. Still working out some bugs. Well, I should make sure our gal isn't too tired from her mission to wake up for school. Kimmy Anne, the bus is almost here. Wade? The bus will be here in six minutes. You're looking swell today, Dr. P. Thank you, Wade. Now, log off. This is a girls only convo. Over and out. Ah, this is the big day. You feel ready? I'm so excited. I finished all my summer reading, like, two weeks ago. I've done a VR walkthrough of the school so I don't get lost. Oh, and my cheer squad audition routine is, if I do say so myself, flawless. (LAUGHS) Okay, well, I guess that answered my... Oh, and look. (LAUGHS) I picked out and sorted all of my outfits for the month. Wow, for the first month? Oh, and I memorized my teacher's names, their birthdays, their food allergies, just in case we want to get them a gift. Okay, Kimmy, honey... Oh, and this morning, I started prepping for my midterms and finals, cause they're only four and eight months away. Can't be too prepared. Right, yeah... So you've been really busy since...? 3:00 AM. Well, 4:00 AM. I took a little nap after saving the world from slimy doom. Sit down, my little hummingbird. Oh... What's up? My sweet girl. I just... I want you to know that, that high school can be kind of daunting. It's okay if you don't figure it all out on the first day. Don't worry, I've allowed myself the morning of day two as well, for wiggle-room. Day two? Mm-hmm. Mom, don't worry. I'm Kim Possible. I handle things. It's what I am, it's what I do. Sweetie, just know that we're here for you if you need... more wiggle room. I've got the genes of a rocket scientist and a black belt brain surgeon. I think I'll survive Middleton High. (LAUGHS) (BEEPING) Aww... BOTH: Wade. Sorry. I just got a GPS lock on the school bus. Departure in three minutes. Perfect. Activate the window, please. Okay, mom. I gotta go. Ohh. Don't worry. Besides, it's just high school. How hard can it be? Kim, the bus is on your street now. ...Romantic walk and it was the cutest thing. Then we saw this house over there... Yeah. So she has the most massive... (BABY CRIES) (BABY COOS) Oh, my gosh! Thank you, Kim. No problem. The doors are closing! Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three... Made it. Boo-yah! (LAUGHS) (EXHALES) (SLURPS) Kim Possible... You defeated my giant robot. You blew up my private island, and now, I'm stuck here thanks to you. But I have you in my grasp, now. And there is no escape. Into the alligator pit with you. (MIMICS KIM) No, Doctor Drakken. Please, show mercy. No mercy. (MIMICS DROWNING) (COUGHING) Please. (SPUTTERING) (DISTANT YELLS) (EXPLOSION) Wow. (CHUCKLES) Did I catch you at a sad time, Drakken? Don't sneak up on me like that, Shego. And, for your information, this is a scale model revenge simulator. It's a dolly and a toilet. Did you enact my instructions? Yes, and followed all the dumb requests you sent me while you were on this... I don't know, enforced vacation for the last year? It was just as annoying as working with you in person. So good to see you, too. (LASER BLASTS) You do know this jailbreak is time sensitive? Could we move this along? Let's go! Why do you need all that garbage? For my plan... (INHALES) ...to be the world's greatest evil-doer. And what about Kim Possible? The world's greatest evil-undoer? Possible. Your end is... No, no, no. Probable! Bad. (LAUGHING MANICALLY) (STUDENTS CHATTING) Stoppable here at Middleton High. Ron, you are not livestreaming our first day of school. And we are live. This is Kim Possible. We're both a little cranky after saving the world last night. I'm so not cranky. I feel great. (WESTERN SHOWDOWN MUSIC PLAYING) Yuck. Kim? Kim? (LAUGHS) Welcome to high school, my little freshman. Oh! Hi, Bonnie. I missed you last year. Oh, well, I'm here now. And I want you to think of me as your sophomore big sister. An astonishingly popular big sister. (CROWD CHATTERS) (LAUGHS) That's Bonnie. She and Kim have hated each other for longer than they've been alive. Who's he blabbering to? Besides everyone, constantly. Ron happens to be livestreaming to thousands of devoted fans. Okay, Mom. Gotta go. (CALL DROPS) Mom? Mom? Huh. Guess she signed off. Almost forgot, Bon-Bon. When are cheerleading tryouts? Cheer? (LAUGHS) You want to cheer at school? Yeah, go hang out with the losers in Lowerton. Here at Middleton High, we're about one thing. This is a soccer school. Tryouts are after class, if you're feeling brave. (BLOWS WHISTLE) (GASPS) You can't use your hands! 'K, thanks, bye. (MOCKING) "K, thanks, hi." Make it quick, Wade. We gotta get to homeroom. Remind me to tell you something about that later. Anyway, I don't know if you've heard, but Shego sprang Drakken from the joint. What? No big. You've captured that dude more times than I've tripped over my own shoelace! Want me to run a suspicious activity sweep over all known lairs, Kim? Please and thank you. And, what did you want to tell us about homeroom? Oh yeah. It's on the other side of the school. No, it's not. I did a VR walkthrough. No, they renumbered the classrooms over the summer. What? (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) In conclusion, it's best to abandon any hope of joy, and find meagre satisfaction in monotony. (GASPING) Oh. You must be Possible and Stoppable. You must recognize us from the news. Nope. I recognize you from this, because you are late. We got a little turned around, Mr. Barkin. Nobody told us they renumbered the classrooms. Ah. I did that. Keeps you kids on your toes. On your tippity-tippities. That's... not really fair. It takes me 90 minutes to prepare Lady Whiskerboots her low-carb, high-protein breakfast, but that doesn't stop me from being on time. Isn't that right, Lady Whiskerpuss? Yes, it is. Oh, yes it is. (CLEARS THROAT) Purr, purr. Ew... Stop. (CLEARS THROAT) Ugh, anyway, seeing as it's your first day at school, I'm willing to show a little uncharacteristic mercy. But, I've got my eyes on both you troublemakers. One each. We're not troublemakers. We're trouble stoppers. Haven't you ever seen us do good stuff on TV? (GRUMBLES) Ah, we- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) (STUDENTS CHATTER) Mr. Barkin? Maybe we, uh... Oh... Hey! Ugh! We gotta get to our first class. Where is it? Wade. The other side of the school. (SIGHS) Get me a blueprint of any and all vents, tunnels, and roof access points. Comin' at ya. Let's roll. Kim, jump in there. Ahhh! (COUGHS) (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) What? How are you here? Is your name Kim Possible because it's impossible for you to be on time? Mr. Barkin? Yeah, that's me. I'm subbing for Mrs. Bailey, she's off on eternity leave. You mean maternity? No. I mean she's gone, and she ain't comin' back. Now. (WHISTLES) Sit. (SLURPS) (CROWS CAWING) (STONES GRINDING AND RUMBLING) "Gee, thanks for setting up this awesome lair "in my absence, Shego?" That's you. Yes. It's wonderful how we used to have our own entire island, and now we're squatting in a pile of garbage vaguely shaped like the building. (METAL CLATTERS AND SPINS) Look at Duff Killigan's Villain-stagram. He has an underwater base. Seor Senior, Senior has an active volcano. I used to have an island. 'Kay, well that island, if you remember correctly, slightly exploded. Yes. Because of Kim Possible. (LAUGHS) Yeah. Imagine. All your genius plans foiled by one puny kid. Oh, she isn't just one puny kid. There's something about her that makes her able to defeat villain after villain after villain. A certain... spark. I want that spark. I can't figure it out. What is high school's deal? I gotta tell you, KP. In my 15 years on this crazy planet, this is probably the best first day of school I've ever had. (LAUGHS) Remember 6th grade? Today beats losing your pants at the welcome assembly, I'll give you that. That's the spirit. And besides, so today was a hot dumpster fire. So what? The Kim I know doesn't go down without a fight. You got this. (SIGHS) You know what? You're so right. I wasn't planning on trying out for soccer today, but oh how sweet would it be to wipe that smug smile off of Bonnie's face. Come on. (WHISTLE BLOWS) (CONDESCENDINGLY) Oh, cute. Our last tryout of the day. Okay, Kimber-lumps, it's simple. Kick this ball into that goal. Oh, and if you don't too terribly mind, my squad and I here will do everything in our power to try and stop you. (BLOWS WHISTLE) Let's go KP! She's coming right your way! Come on, you guys. Don't let her through. I can't, she's too fast. Defense, get the ball! I got this. No, you don't got this. How does she do that? Oh, man! Wow, okay. Bonnie said it would be easy. Oh no, Kimmy. You're not getting by me. What is she doing then? (GRUNT) (SCREAMS) Whoooooo! Yes! Woo-hoo! You've done it, KP! Yes, woo! (LAUGHS) Okay. From the bottom of my very deep heart, Kim, that was... amazing. I'm shook. So, congratulations to our newest... equipment manager. (CLAPS) Yay. Equipment manager? Oh, I take just a hint of starch. Equipment manager? Bonnie, you just told me I was amazing. Ah, you totally are, Kiki-Peeps. But, you're also a freshman. So? Did I forget to tell you? Oh, so sorry. Freshman can't be on the team. Oh, and use a non-chlorine bleach. Obvi. Wait, where am I taking this? The equipment room is on... The opposite side of the school. Ugh. This box reeks. (CAMERA BUZZING) So, how's stealing that spark going? Um, no, besides poorly. Today is her first day of high school. Something that can reduce the strongest, most confident adolescent to a helpless mewling kitten. This happening to our little foe as we speak? And once she is at her weakest, I will isolate and steal that spark that makes Kim... Possible! (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) (MACHINE POWERS DOWN) Um, did you get the Zakadamium Q-46? What? It's the power source for my revenge plot? Oh, it's in there. Oh. In there? There? There? It's over... I can't reach it. (SIGHS) You bought it online? Yeah. Get with the times, doc. Nobody leaves the lair anymore. Tch. (SIGHS) Ooof! This is a cheap knockoff. Get the Zakadamium! Hey. You know, yelling might make you feel better, but it doesn't make me feel worse. Just an FYI. (FURIOUSLY EXHALES) Just a detour on the road to victory. (EXHALES) You've only been to school one day, and you're already making a difference. Your arms are gonna be jacked by the end of the year, which will be great for when you get on the soccer team and can't use them. (LAUGHS) Thanks, Ron. You know, you always know what to say. Sort of. Regardless, I've had the absolute worst first day of school that any human could have. (CRYING) Or, maybe not? (SNIFFLING) (SOBBING) It was awful, mom. I didn't make any friends, and I just tripped and dumped my backpack everywhere, and everyone laughed. I know. (SIGHS) Love you, too. I believe this is yours. I'm Kim. I know. Are you okay? Okay? I just met Kim Possible! (SQUEALS HAPPILY) Come on. Oh, Bueno Nacho. Love it. Yup. It's Ron's casa away from casa. (LAUGHS) I'm sorry, I didn't even ask you what your name was. You didn't go to Middleton Middle School, right? No, I just moved here this summer. I'm Athena. Ah, Athena. As in the goddess of... I wanna say dentistry? Actually, wisdom. (LAUGHS) If you say so. Well, you've made a wise choice today, Athena. Behold, nature's perfect food. The Naco. Taco meets nachos in a fusion of cheesy glory. But, of course, you guys ordered the... TOGETHER: Cha-cha Chimmurito no sour cream. (LAUGHS) What are the odds? Hey, let me see that phone for a hot sec? Oh, uh... Yeah. All right. Get in close. Ready? Okay. Yes, that's perfect. Thank you! Thank you for that, um. Seriously, just ask. We're the least selfie-adverse people on the planet. I have followed all of your adventures for, like, ever. I even cosplayed as you at Comic-con last year. Look at this. That's amazing! And that hair. No, it's weak. But I'm working on a better one. What's up with the incredibly handsome pooch? Oh, that's Ron Stop-pitbull, of course. (LAUGHS) I didn't really have any, uh, friends to go with me. I don't know if you know this about me, but when I grow up, I want to be a dog. My parents tell me it's not a realistic goal, but thanks to you, I'm one step closer. Ron? Be the dog you want to see in the world. Thank you. And, woof. (BARKS) (LAUGHS) For those of you who don't knw how to tell time, I strongly urge you to learn. (SIGHS) The tardy party continues. I'm so sorry, Mr... Sorry doesn't cut it, young lady. I'm giving you both detention. I can explain, Mr. B. We've actually been volunteering at the cat shelter. That's no excu... I'm sorry, the what? Yeah, the cat shelter. For all the homeless cats out there. The ones from the streets. They're very protein-deficient and have a very low carb diet. So sad. (SOBS) Just give me... Okay! Well, I suppose I could let it pass for meow. (CLASS LAUGHS) I mean, now. Now. Sit. All right the rules are equal to or greater than cool, so you see, if you wanna be cool... (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) Darn, I think I left my lip balm at home. Oh, I'm sure I have a spare. (KIMMUNICATOR BEEPS) (GASPS) (SQUEALS) Wow, so many grappling hooks. Saving the world requires a surprising amount of grappling. Hey, why don't you wear this on missions anymore? It used to be your thing. I don't know, I guess wearing the same thing all the time kind of felt cartoony, after a bit. Now, which shade would look the best on you? Oh. Here's one. Oh, no, no, no, Athena, that's not... (LASER ZAPS) (GASPS) I am so sorry. I am such a klutz. No, no, no, it's fine. I'm just glad you're okay. (LAUGHS) Here. This one's safe. Back in Long Island straight to LA It's been a hard week Let me let me unwind California dreaming New York state of mind This song is bomb, who is it? It's the new Poppy Blue. It's been all over the internet for like a month and I love it. Who? Poppy Blue? You've never heard of her? (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) (LAUGHS) Oh my god! Are you judging? No, no, no, of course not. Getting to know you has been... TOGETHER: Pretty great? Yeah. Now let's dance! (LAUGHS) 'Cause I came here to party all night From the east to west coast that's right We gone raise the roof up sky high Can you party with me Party party with me Look alive. Nice one, Bonnie. Hey, you wanna kick this bad boy around a little? After all, we gotta get ready to make the team next year. Can I pretend it's Bonnie? Way ahead of you. It's like you were born to be my BFF. I've felt the same thing myself. Let's play. Kim, you're so good. You try. Here it comes. Woah! You're a fast learner. And you're a great teacher. Athena, dude, you have skills. Aw, thanks Ron. You know what? How about the next mission Ron and I go on, you tag along? (SQUEALS) Okay. I'm gonna freak out about this eventually, but first I'm gonna go home and shave my head. I think I have a better idea. What? Kim? No! This place is way too nice. Can't we just go to Mega Cuts? They give you a lollipop. And, if you're good, they let you sit in a chair that looks like a race car. Okay, fam, settle down. What do I even tell them to do? Okay, okay. First, breathe. (EXHALES) Second, close your eyes. Picture the best version of yourself. You see her? I do. Boom. That's the person I want you to be, and I can't wait to meet her. Me too. (SNIFFS) (SIGHS) I know, right? (KIMMUNICATOR BEEPS) What's the sitch? Shego just busted into a top-secret government lab. I'm sending someone to pick you guys up now. Tell our new recruit it's mission time. Ron, suit up. Just one more bite. Are you ever going to tell me how you do that? Do what? Come on, let's go. My Naco juice. (JAZZY DANCE MUSIC) Oh, snap Woah, Athena. You look amazing. You've out-Kimmed Kim. Where'd you get that? Okay, well, don't laugh, but, remember when I said I was working on a better Kim cosplay? I actually decided to make myself a mission suit, in case the time came I had to battle evil, and... today is that day. (LAUGHS) It's... perfect. Oh my gosh, thank you. And, with the hair, it's... It's extra you. (LAUGHS) (HONKS) That's our ride. 'Cause I came here to party all night From the east to the west coast that's right We gone raise the roof up sky high What's the sitch? Poppy? Woo! (SQUEALS) Good to see you, girl. You too, thanks for the lift. Poppy Blue, oh my gosh! I have been a fan of your music forever. (LAUGHS) Oh my gosh, your hair is on point. Who are you? I'm Athena, the newest member of team Possible. Kim, you're gonna have to watch out for this one. Because she's fierce! And I should know, because, you know, I invented Fieeerce That was amazing. Okay, so how do you know Kim? Did, did she save you from someone? Like, like zombies? Wha... Ninjas? Zombie ninjas? Worse. The IRS. Turns out Kimmy here is a whiz at international tax law. Anyway, this train is leaving the station. BOTH: All aboard! That was so awesome. I like you. You wanna come on tour with me? Yeah! Send a location I'm waiting so @ me People round the world can catch my wave Back in Long Island. RON: A secret island... classic. (BEEPING) Wade, any intel on the secret entrance? I'm workin on it, Kim. This one's more secret than usual. (MECHANICAL GRINDING) Woah! Wow, Athena, how'd you figure that out? I don't know, um... That is not an apple tree. Uh, Kim. Solid sleuthing there, buddy. (LAUGHS) (ALL GASP) What is this place? The Institute for Advanced Neurodynamic Studies. I've heard of this place. They're making amazing breakthroughs with uploading exabytes of data directly into the human brain. Wow, I had no idea brains were that big. How do they fit in our heads? TOGETHER: Focus, Ron. Hey, Wade? It's spooky quiet in here, did we miss her? Shego might be using a cloaking device. If she's in there, I can't pick up heat signatures. Did you try running a 60-80 thermal security override? I didn't. Uh, good call, I'll give it a try. Never mind, we got it. (SQUEAKING NOISES) (SNIFFLING SOUNDS) "Naked Mole Rat." (CHUCKLES) Naked. (SNIFFLING SOUNDS) (SQUEAKING NOISES) (KNOCKING) Hello? Anyone home? You decent? (SQUEAKING NOISES) Oh, wow! Coolest thing ever. (SQUEAKING) Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you, little guy. You can come out now. You're safe with me. (SNIFFING SOUNDS) Aww. You're shy. And weird. And I like weird. Never be normal, that's what I always say. (SNIFFING) Oh. (SQUEAKS LOUDER) Wha... uh... No signs of her anywhere. Hey, Kim? Ron, did you find anything? I sure did. Kim Possible, meet Rufus Stoppable. Hey little guy. What is he? Naked mole rat. Yeah. Ah. I wonder what they were gonna do with you, little guy... Hey, I bet they were testing the brain data transfer process on these little guys before trying it on humans. Hey buddy, am I right? Did they make you super smart? (SQUEAKS) Oh man. Drakken is going to unleash an army of super-smart mole rats. Better hide in my backpack, buddy. Or, maybe Drakken wants to be able to download vast amounts of information into his own brain. But, to do that, he would need some sort of modulator that translates machine learning into brain waves, and... Kim, could I talk to Wade again? Um, I... Wade, can you run a check on the lab for any sort of Zakadamium-based brain modulators? Uh, M-21, T-43? Q-46. Bingo! Where is it? Sector 12, to your left. And that's where we'll find Shego. Come on! (LAUGHS WEAKLY) I was just about to say we need to find the... brain modulator... power cube thing. Really? Shego. Possible. It's been too long. Can't say I was feeling particularly nostalgic. Hey, step away from the cube and put your hands where I can see them. Who's this? She's with me. Yeah, but why is she the one giving me orders, though? Oh, is she in charge now? Did you get demoted? Enough talk, Shego. (LASER BLAST) Ahhh! (FIGHTING GRUNTS) (FIGHTING GRUNTS) Athena, the cube! Argh!!!!! - Athena! - Athena! (LASER) (GLASS SHATTERING) Ugh! I just got that thing down! Hey, KP! (FIGHTING GRUNTS) Ahhhhh!!!!! What are you doing? Sorry, I was just trying to help. I got it from your room. I didn't think you'd mind, considering... It's okay. I got this. No... you... Don't! ...Don't! I got it. I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! Ron, I got it. Ugh! Ahhh! Ron, are you okay? This water is, like, the perfect temperature. Not too hot, not too cold. Ron, Ron, Ron, get up, get up! Hmm? There's something in the water with us. Ooh. Ah. You're next, new meat. Uh, guys, little help? (SIGHS) (GRUNTS) I'm afraid your little besties can't come out to play right now. It's just me... and what's about to be left of you. (NAIL TAPPING) (ELECTRICAL ZAP) Ahhhhh!!!!! What just zapped us? If I had to guess... electric eel. Ron, I never told you this, but I am terrified of electric eels! Well, isn't that nice that after all this time we're still learning about each other? Ron! (DISTANT SCREAM) Ahhhhh!!!!! (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) Don't worry, KP. They're fascinating creatures. Did you know electric eels can spawn thousands of babies at any given time? (SHRIEKS) What? Athena, help!!! (RAPID BREATHING) Ahhhh!!!!! KIM: Can you hear me? Athena? Athena! Help! Ahhh!!!!! (FIGHTING GRUNTS) I know you're busy right now Kimmy, but... You got some competition here. This one's good. Maybe even better than you. (FIGHTING GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Athena! Athena, help! Hey there, little guy. Are you okay? (SQUEAKS) Well, this has been a kick. Next time we meet I'm gonna have to up my game to match new meat, here. You know, because she's a real opponent, Kim. Athena, I knew you had good moves, but your fight skills are sick. Thanks. I'm just a Kim-itation. I've studied all her moves. SHEGO'S VOICE: This one's good, maybe even better than you. (LAUGHING) (ECHOING) Better than you... Better than you... Better than you... Better than you... (SPED-UP AUDIO PLAYBACK) Athena! Athena! Athena! Athena! Athena! Hate-watching your favorite show again? You finally got the Zakadamium. Sweet. Woah! Careful. Oh, don't worry. That thing got dropped like 600 times, it's fine. Anyway, as much as I hate to admit it. You. Were. Right. Ohh. Possible's like your hairline. She's fading. Well... If you think she's bad now, wait 'til this clip of her being terrified out of her wits gets "accidentally" leaked online. Were those air quotes? What did I say about those? Imagine the cruel memes. (LAUGHS) (NUMEROUS CONVERSATIONS) (GROANS) This throw-down is sick. Athena is absolutely destroying Shego. And that hair. Can you believe she goes to our school? MAN (ON P.A.): A reminder, students. No stick, dowel, or rod play on school property, no matter how utterly effortless Athena made it look in the video I have watched nine times. Rufus? He's having a hard time adjusting to the high school social world. You're the best. Your moves are great, your style is flawless, and I mean, that hair? Perfect lip shade, perfect outfit, and those boots are everything. (LAUGHS) Tens across the board. Bonnie, you're seriously so nice. Hey guys. Hey, Athena. Bye, girl. I'll see you after school. Yep. After school? Oh, yeah. Bonnie really wants me to try out for soccer. Which is weird because I know they don't take freshmen, but... she just laughed and said not to worry. (SOCCER TEAM CHATTERING) Welcome to the mad dogs. You're number 18. (LAUGHS) Yay. Thank you so much. CHANTING: Athena! Athena! Athena! Athena! Athena! Athena! (CHEERING) (LAUGHING) Oh, my gosh! What? I know, right? Athena, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. (SIGHS) (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Coming. I'm coming. Kimberley Anne! Hey, Nana. Lucky you, I made a batch of brownies this morning. Double chocolate chocolate chip with pecans on top. No thanks, I'm good. You're turning down double chocolate? Feel up for a... A workout? (PLAYS KIMMUNICATOR JINGLE) So, Nana. I was hoping today you could teach me to fight with a Bo Staff? (GONG SOUND) Bojutsu began in the early 17th century in Japan. Uh-huh. (FIGHTING GRUNTS) But it seems to me... (FIGHTING GRUNTS) Not much call for a Bo Staff today. Bit of an antique. And it takes one to know one. It's just that... I did see on the internet. That new girl, she used a Bo, didn't she? Yeah, she kicked Shego's butt. You've done that plenty of times yourself, without a Bo. I thought I'd try something new. (FIGHTING GRUNTS) Nothing wrong with that... (FIGHTING GRUNTS) If that's the reason. (FIGHTING GRUNTS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) Something's off. Me, I'm off. Why? Because I walked into high school, and it's like I stopped being good at things. Even worse, Athena had one good fight, and now she's amazing at everything. Well, she's your friend, right? Yeah. Well then, you should be happy for her. After all, you guided her, now she's having a little success all thanks to you. What is it, baby? (SIGHS TEARFULLY) I've never met someone who's better than me, and I know how stupid that sounds, but it's like, whatever I have that makes me me, she has more of it. Jealousy is very unbecoming, Kimberly Anne. I'm not jealous, Nana. Seriously, I'm glad she's finding her way. It's more about me. If... If I'm not the best at those things, then who am I? That's just the thing. Even if you're not "the best" at... what have you. You're still you. Nana, I'm Kim Possible, okay? I'm a star student and I save the world. That's who I am. No, that's what you do. That's not who you are. Well, then... Then I don't know who I am. (CRYING) MAN (ON P.A.): Attention, students. During last period today, we will be holding an all-school assembly. We will honor our star student, Athena, with the first ever Most Promising Freshman of the Year Award. Ugh. Kim, school's not over yet. I'm ditching. I can't even get good grades anymore. Everything's changed. Look, I'm not gonna lie, it's been a rough few weeks. But, you're still my best friend, and pals support pals. Always. I think I know where you're going with this. Athena's our pal, too. We helped her when she was down in the dumps, and our help paid off. She's amazing now, so we should be there to cheer her on. (SIGHS) So, we're going to this assembly? Yeah, we owe it to her. (SIGHS) Fine. Boo-yah! (LAUGHS) All right, attention students, settle. In the short time that she's been at this high school, she's earned a 5.5 GPA, is a rising star on the soccer team, and has already been voted homecoming queen and king. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It is my great pleasure to introduce your most promising freshman of the year... Athena! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Uh, why is an ominous green circle being cut in the ceiling? - Look! Up there! - What's that noise? What's going on? (SCREAMING) Everyone remain calm and walk to the exits in an orderly fash... (LASER BLAST) And I'm out. Good afternoon, students. Don't be alarmed, we're only here to kidnap Athena... What? Ron, grapple me. ...before she becomes so powerful, she wipes out evil as we know it. Let's go. What? No! Kim, help! (GRUNTS) Henchmen, attack! Hench-women, attack. (IN UNISON) Ha! Oh. (FIGHTING GRUNTS) Not fair, that's dirty. Dirty fighting. Ladies, please escort Cinderella to her pumpkin. (GRUNTS) (IN UNISON) Ugh! (PANICKED BREATHING) Kim, help! Throw it to me, I can do my killer move! Throw it, Kim! Come on! (EXHALES) (CROWD WINCES) Oh, faceplant. (LAUGHING) (CROWD LAUGHS) Please tell me someone got that fail on video. (GRUNTS) I'm sure you're wondering what's next. Well, it's my most diabolical plan yet. Shut it! What have I told you about overshare? Oh, right. Bye-ee! ATHENA: Help! (EVIL LAUGHTER) ATHENA: Please, anyone! Help! No, no, no. (ENGINE ROARING) Possible, I was up all night making that banner. - I cannot believe that happened! - Athena. (SOBBING) I blew it, Ron. This was all my fault. Oh, come on. It's... well, yeah. It's your fault. What was I thinking? I should have just given her the Bo Staff. Why didn't you give Athena the Bo Staff? Because I needed to be the person who saves the day. How'd that go? Oh, real, real not great. Very bad. (GRUMBLES) I just... I can't believe how mixed up I've been, like... Just because I'm not the best at something doesn't mean I'm not me. So, what are we gonna do? (SIGHS) We're gonna go save our friend. You up for this? Let's go! (CROWS CAWING) (GULPS) Ahhh! Shego! Come and celebrate with me, with an ice-cold milk. Never let it be said you don't know how to party, Doctor D. I have to admit, today went better than I could have hoped. Yeah, you know, I'm always good, but I felt particularly fierce. Oh, come on. You were your usual competent self, but I was the most... Yeah, the most average, maybe. Zshh-zshh... Will you two stop arguing? Excuse me? I was just trying to get your attention. And a little credit. After all, I befriended Kim. I surpassed her in every single way, and I broke her. Just like you asked me to. It was me. I did all of it. She gets this from you. Don't... make me hurt you. So what? What do you want? A gold star? A cookie? You want a... you want a hug? No. Okay. I want to know what's next for the three of us. Huh. Well, it's um, it's a surprise. DRAKKEN: Yes. And you're going to find out very soon. (CHUCKLING) Very soon. (CACKLING) (LAUGHING MANICALLY) (SIGHS) I'll take it. Good luck, Kim. Thanks Mr. Mayor. Hey, thanks for stopping that asteroid. Oh... Oh... Hey, sweetie. We heard about Athena. I'm really sorry. Yeah, that was, um, that was my fault. So, I'm gonna try and fix that mistake. I don't know if I can, but... I think I'll have a lot better chance if I get some help, so... Mom, Nana? Are you in? Well, you can count on me. I don't know about your mom. Oh, of course she can count on me. You've always counted on me. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) You guys, too? How do you do that? ALL: Do what? Let's do this. And I will stay here and watch the twins. And maybe order a pizza. Ooh, what toppings? Ron! Right, mission mode. (SQUEAKING) Oh. It could be helpful. I'll bring the drone. Hop in. Better watch out. Oh. Okay. See ya! ALL: Have fun. Those crazy cats. (GROANING) Time to bring this evil plan home. Fire up the brain module. (PANICKING) My machine? My machine? Where is my machine? The brain modulator! Shego! Shego! (LOW RUMBLING) (METAL CLANGING) (DOOR SLAMS HEAVILY) Wait, quick question. Was this here the entire time? Oh, uh, yeah. I guess with everything going on it just slipped my mind. I've got to post this to Villain-stagram. Uh-oh. (CHUCKLES) Duckface. (LAUGHS) There's gonna be such epic FOMO. Hey! Make with the evil plan. (LAUGHS) Where did you pull that out of? (CACKLES) (ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) Yes! Yes! Yes! (EVIL CACKLING) Now, about my next mission? Oh, dear tiny purple Athena. You'll get your next mission. Guaranteed. Okay. Let's get you ready for your big fun surprise. (LAUGHING MANICALLY) (BEEPING) Hey, Wade? Are you sure this is it? Uh, definitely. The energy readings are off the charts. Come in team Golden Girls. Very funny, you're grounded. I'm gonna sneak in through the skylight and find Athena. Is the alarm neutralized? Um... Here. (YELLS) Ha! It is now. Thanks, Nana. You guys rendezvous with Ron. Hmm. I'm goin' in. Athena, we're here! Come on, let's go. I'm not going anywhere with you, Kim. You're mad. I get that. I'm sorry. I really messed up at the assembly, I know. Kim, you were a garbage friend way before the fight at the assembly. Uh... It was great when I was your pet project who blew up your ego. "You're the best, Kim!" "I can't believe I'm doing a friendship with Kim Possible!" But the moment that I started to surpass you, you fell apart. You're right. I was so caught up in all my drama. But I'll be better now, thanks to you. You're sorry, and you're better now. I'm so happy for you. But my purpose here was not to be your friend who inspires you. No. As you can see... I'm far more complex than that. Wha... My purpose was to destroy you. Wha... And I nailed it. And now, Drakken and Shego have a new mission for me. Whatever it is, I know it's gonna be great. Athena, you can't trust them. I know there's still good in you. Athena! Kim, just stop. You should get out of here while you still can. I just met Kim Possible! (SQUEALS) (LAUGHS) BOTH: Cha-Cha Chimmurito, no sour cream. (LAUGHS) What are the odds? Picture the best version of yourself. That's the person I want you to be. Do you see her? I do. You look amazing! I mean, you've out-Kimmed Kim. ATHENA: I studied all her moves. It's like you were born to be my best friend. (ECHOING) Friend... friend... friend... Comfy? I guess. Uh, why do I need these? Safety precaution. Mostly ours. (BOTH CACKLING) Hey, Drakk! Possible! It can't be. Mind if we crash the party? Oh, I was counting on it. Click. (SQUEAKING) Hey! Rufus! Ahhhhhh!!!!! (EVIL CHUCKLE) Nice, right? It's okay, buddy. We'll be out of here soon. Oh, this lair has it all. And that forcefield is 100 percent inescapable. Why? Because the off switch is all the way up there. Don't tell them where it is! Shego! Kim, I can't hack this forcefield! Anyhoo, welcome to my long-awaited victory. As I rotted away in that cell... Ah, the evil plan reveal. I should have brought a book. I find these informative. They fill in some of the blanks. Do you mind? Oh! Uh, where was I? Rotting in your cell. Yes, yes, yes. It was there that I realized that you, Kim Possible, had something special, something that separated you from everybody else. So, I created a cybertronic humanoid. What? Athena's a robot? I sent her in to befriend you, to learn from you and to steal what makes you Possible, creating a digital version of your spark. My spark? Your spark. Kimmitation. Yeah, you should trademark that. Or Kimputer. Kimputer is good too. Yeah, it is. And now, I'm going to transfer that digital spark from her to me, because you plus me equals invincible. Wait, what happens to Athena? Oh, she'll be destroyed. Wha...? What? No! You gotta break a few eggs, kid. I'm gonna get you out of there, Athena. Why? She's just a robot. You're wrong. She's my friend. (GAGS) Wow, that's actually quite touching. Now, let's see how close of a family you can become. Ohhh! Uh! They're getting closer. Stay away from the sides, guys. (CHUCKLES) Guys, that thing's gonna vaporize you, and I can't stop it. (SQUEAKING) Ah, sizzle. Ow! Are you okay, Mom? (GROWLS) Okay, just squeeze in. Closer. Oh! Good call, Rufus. I'm on it. Okay. Oh, no! Rufus! Huh? That's my boy! He's Ru-fast Ru-furious! What is that? Shego! Ah, wooh!!! (SQUEAKING) Shoot him! You got this, you got this, Rufus! (SQUEAKS) Stabilize, stabilize. Ah! (SQUEAKS) (SQUEAKS) Rufus! (SQUEAKS) Get yourself a mole rat and save the day! Also, naked. Ahh! (FIGHTING GRUNTS) You know, we really should do this more often. Yeah. Ha! (FIGHTING GRUNTS) Ahhhhh!!!!! (COUGHING) Ahhhhhh!!!!!! (GROWL) Kim! Shego, the switch! Youth... Vitality! No, no! Killer moves! Mad skills! Spark! Help! (EVIL CACKLING) Kim, the brain modulator. If you can disrupt it... (GRUNTS) (MACHINE GRINDS TO A HALT) That'll do. No! No! No! No, no... The machine's going crazy. It's causing some kind of a side effect. What? Nooo! Noooo! (COUGHING) (SIGHS WEAKLY) (COUGHING) Shego, get them! Hey, what happened to my clothes? What's wrong with my voice? (LAUGHING) Open! This is fan-Drakken-tastic. Silence, Shego. (LAUGHS) (LOUD CRASHING) It's destabilizing. (ELECTRICAL ZAPS) In the escape pod, junior. They're gonna be blown to bits. Bye-eee! Ahhhhh!!!!! We gotta get out of here. (CRACKLING AND ZAPPING) Guys, that thing's gonna explode! Hurry up! Come on! I gotcha! Mom, wait! Kim! Kim! (WILD CRACKLING) Kim! Hurry! Let's go! (GRUNTS) Athena! What are you doing? Kim, go! You need to get out of here, I have to stay behind. I'm the only one who... No, Athena, stop! It'll kill you! I can absorb the energy from the cube, Kim. I'm not human. Only I can do this! I'm not gonna leave you here! Everyone will die if I go with you, Kim. Kim! Run! Come on! You saved me, let me save you. Go. (GROANS) Kim, run! (CRYING) No! (LOUD RUMBLING) (HUGE EXPLOSION) (COUGHING) Oh, Kimmy. (CRYING) (SQUEAKING AND SNIFFLING) Rufus, where are you going? (SNIFFLING) (TRIUMPHANT SQUEAKS) Athena, we're going to get you out of there! (SCREAMS) Uh... Uh, Kim? I could use a hand. (GASPS) We're gonna patch you up good as new, okay? I promise. You're a really good friend. So are you. She learned from the best. So did I. Honey, get the tiny screwdrivers out. How would you like to rebuild a cybertronic humanoid? Really? Yes! So, things went back to norma. Or, at least as normal as the life of a high school crime fighter can be. (BELCH) (LAUGHING) It took some time and a mega amount of coding, but we stabilized Athena, flushed out Drakken's evil programming, and saved the good in her. Ha! Ha! Ha! Together, we formed a martial arts club, and now everyone at Middleton High wants to join. Well, almost everyone. (FRUSTRATED YELL) And as for me, learning to be a better friend... Made me a better hero. (KIMMUNICATOR BEEPS A MELODY) (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Off the hook. Token... Chilly. Poppin'. Tight. Tight! Can you hold still? We don't want you to look like a little freak, little freak. My research is complete. (SIGHS) Makeup perfect. Wig... perfect. I will blend in flawlessly. Yeah. You will. As long as there are like ten other tiny little old men in there. Silence, Shego! Here. Say you skipped a bunch of grades cause you're... gifted. More like a gift I wish I could return. Laugh it up. This whiny, puny body I'm trapped in is a blessing in disguise. Now there's nowhere Possible can hide from me. (SIGHS IMPATIENTLY) Okay, great. Get out! I need to get home, change out of these clothes into a sensible leather bodysuit. Wish me luck... Mother. (UNCOMFORTABLY) Okay. (ENGINE REVS) My new evil master plan to take down Kim Possible will be my tightest yet. I'm your basic average girl And I'm here to save the world You can't stop me cause I'm Kim Possible There is nothing I can't do And when danger calls Just know that I am on my way Know that I am on my way It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble If you just call my name Kim Possible! |
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