Gorky Film Studio
Second Artists' Association
THE KINGDOM OF CROOKED MIRRORS
Based on the story
by Vitaly GUBAREV
Screenplay by Vitaly GUBAREV
with participation of L. ARKADIEV
Directed by Alexander ROW
Photography by
V. DULTSEV, L. AKIMOV
Production Designers
A.KLOPOTOVSKY, A.VAGICHEV
Music by A. FILIPPENKO
Sound by A. DIKAN
Tatiana Kameneva
Cast
Olia - Olia YUKINA
Ailo - Tanya YUKINA
Grandmother - M. BARYSHEVA
Dneirf - A. STAPRAN
Evals - I. KUZNETSOV
Aunt Lesaew - T. NOSOVA
King Torrap 77 - A. KUBATSKY
Most Important Minister Daot -
A. TSINMAN
Important Minister Etik - A. FAI
Elitper - L. VERTINSKAYA
Most Important Master of Ceremonies -
G. MILLYAR
Important Master of Ceremonies -
P. PAVLENKO
Royal Chef - A. KHVYLIA
Drum Major - V. BRYLEYEV
Tar - V. ALTAISKAYA
A new movie "Abracadabra"
Children under 16 are not admitted.
Grandma!
- What is it?
- It's so dark! I'm scared!
- You chickenheart.
- No, I am not!
Oh, my goodness!
You're just not yourself!
What do you mean?
It's me, just like always.
Don't pick your nose.
It's not proper.
Big deal!
Those absurd expressions again!
Take a look in the mirror.
You look like a monster.
I'm not a monster!
- Stop clowning!
- I look nice!
We're going to wash up, change
and look neat.
- It's cold!
- A capricious child.
You're going to freeze the child!
Why are you so late?
I've got my leg chafed.
And why did you yell?
Where's your key?
- Which key?
- To the entrance door.
- I don't know.
- You always lose things.
I'm going to tell your parents about
everything when they're back.
Me too!
Stop teasing the parrot.
All right, calm down.
I won't tell anybody.
- Neither about the apron?
- Neither about the apron.
- Honest?
- Honest.
I'm going to the janitor to get
a spare key.
I'm hungry!
We'll have dinner as soon as
your parents are home.
I'm thirsty!
And don't touch sweets. I don't
want you to spoil your appetite.
Oh, child, if only you could look
at yourself
from the outside, with other people's
eyes.
Oh, grandma, grandma...
I see nothing wrong.
A girl like any other.
In fact, a very good-looking girl
from any side.
I'm a girl who's ever cheerful,
Endearing, not fearful,
I'm a girl who's even beautiful
From every practical side.
And people love me, cheerful,
Endearing, not fearful,
From every side even beautiful,
They love me very much.
Be quiet.
Behave yourself.
Whatever I want I'm allowed,
My every wish is humored,
What has been put in the cupboard
Was put there for me!
For me?
For me!
- I'll tell on you!
- Tattletale!
Ah, Olia, Olia...
Who is it?
It's me, the mirror.
Mirrors don't talk.
I'm not an ordinary mirror,
I'm a magic mirror.
Magic? Like in fairy tales?
Yes, a fairy-tale mirror.
- Who are you, girl?
- I'm your reflection.
My name is Ailo, and yours is Olia.
How did you guess?
Because if I'm your reflection,
then I must have the same name,
but back to front.
Interesting.
So Ailo is Olia read backwards?
- And where's Barsik?
- I don't know.
Barsik!
- Where are we?
- I don't know yet.
There was at Grandma's
A little gray goat.
- One-two, one-two...
- A big fatty goat.
The little gray goat
Was adored by the Grandma.
- One-two, one-two...
- Was cooked by the Grandma.
The little gray goat
went running to forest.
- One-two, one-two...
- She has eaten the goat.
Granddads!
- What?
- Who?
Have you seen our Barsiks?
Who are granddads here?
Him.
Oh, him! You're a granddad!
No, it's you!
- We're granddads?
- Yes.
Look over there.
Do we look like granddads?
- You got it?
- Not really.
I'm the Important Master of Ceremonies
of the most royal of all kings...
And I'm the Most Important
Master of Ceremonies!
All right, let him
reign forever,
our King Torrap!
Let him reign!
- Torrap?
- Parrot.
It's not funny!
You're in the most crooked
Kingdom of Crooked Mirrors!
Is this the Kingdom
of Crooked Mirrors?
That's right.
And you're on your last legs,
grandmas.
You're wrong.
We're third-grade pupils.
Third-grade pupils?
That's right.
Well, look in there.
What are you going to say now,
old hags?
Attention,
proceeding in the grand promenade
are Her Majesty the Dowager Queen
and Their Highnesses
the Marriageable Princesses!
Who let the cats out?
These are our Barsiks!
That's them! Make them into soap!
What an embarrassment!
A scandal!
Where are you going?
You won't get away from me!
We're going to teach you a lesson,
Dneirf!
- Dneirf?
- Friend.
Don't dare beating the child!
Police!
Stop it!
You can't beat children!
The Important Minister Etik!
- Etik?
- Kite.
- What's up?
- Mister Important Minister!
Dneirf refuses to make
crooked mirrors.
- He refuses?
- Yes, sir!
Shake him well!
- Good for him!
- He's a real boy!
Why won't you make crooked mirrors?
Because they're lying!
Shut up!
No, I won't!
In the name of the most royal of kings,
King Torrap,
throw Dneirf into the Death Tower!
Let's go to the palace, to the king!
Quick!
We'll demand that Dneirf be set free!
Let's go.
That's where the king must live.
Look at those giants!
They're probably sick.
My dad calls people like them
loafers and idlers.
- Who?
- The king's dancers.
- Where?
- To the king!
- Why?
- For the ball!
You may pass.
Shall we try it too?
Let's do it.
- Who?
- We.
- Where?
- To the king!
- Why?
- To talk!
No children under 16 are admitted!
Just like at the movies.
What an appetite King has!
Our king just loves to eat,
Cooks prepare all kind of treat!
All day long they fry the steaks,
All day long they bake the cakes,
Cooking chickens, cooking ham,
Cooking pheasants, cooking lamb,
Pickles, jam, sweet and sour,
For the king all to devour.
Oh, I wish that first...
our king should burst!
Olia, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty.
Stop it! They're taking
foodstuffs to the palace.
- So what?
- You'll see!
- Who?
- The king's carriers!
- Where?
- To the kitchen!
- Why?
- Foodstuffs for the king!
You may pass.
- What's that?
- Forty pairs of pheasants.
The most grown, most ripe!
You yourselves are ripe already,
my dears.
Where are you going? Enough for today.
Aren't they good!
Those, too.
This will do.
Not bad.
Look at those pheasants!
Baby pheasants.
We're not pheasants!
- Not baby pheasants!
- What are you then?
We're girls!
And how have you gotten
in this basket?
We lost our way.
Lost your way?
Do you know what happens to those
who come to the palace uninvited?
We know.
They say it so matter-of-factly
as if I asked them whether
they knew their names!
Lesaew!
- Lesaew?
- Which means, Weasel.
The pheasants!
They haven't been plucked yet?
Nor drawn yet?
I'll send in kitchen help and...
Don't.
I'll do it myself,
pluck and draw them.
And you better rest meanwhile,
sleep for an hour or two.
A good idea.
I'm going to have a nap
for an hour or two.
It was a near escape!
Get up, my little pheasants!
We must rescue Dneirf.
It's very difficult to rescue Dneirf.
What are we going to do?
There are only two keys
to the Death Tower.
One hangs over the king's throne.
Take us to the throne.
No one will let us enter
the king's chamber.
And the second key?
The Most Important Minister Daot
always keeps it with him.
- Daot?
- Toad.
That's right, he looks like a toad.
All green.
Now is the time of changing
the Guard of Pages.
Which guard?
The most important King's pages!
Jam.
Skimmings! Jam's skimmings.
Olia! Look!
Lots of jam!
What are you doing?
Let's take just one jar.
The smallest one.
Follow my example.
You see, I'm coping.
Come here!
Watch out, mice! A cat is coming.
Please, sirs, the most important
king's pages!
Jam!
Hurry up, little pheasants!
That's what happens to those
who have a sweet tooth!
Look what happens to those
who have a sweet tooth!
Oh, boys!
What are we going to do?
Is there out any course?
Those greasy, sticky spots
Not to be removed, of course!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
Take your clothes off!
Jam! Jam!
Have you stripped, my little brats?
It's not easy to wash you, I deem.
That's the way only silly cats
Get themselves embroiled in cream.
All right, little pheasants, now you
are going to be the King's pages.
- You remember everything?
- Yes, everything!
You won't get mixed up?
Keep your eyes open.
Look, the key!
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
- It's black, anyway.
- Beat it from here!
- Midgets!
We're not midgets!
Change of the Guard of Pages!
Change of the Guard of Pages?
Change of the Guard of Pages!
The key!
Pages!
Pages!
There come the tattletales.
- We're done for!
- No way!
Naughty boys,
is everything ready for the appearance
of His Most Royal Majesty?
We don't know.
What do you mean, you don't know?
Pages are supposed to know everything!
And we don't know everything yet.
Yet...
You're probably new here?
Yes, we're new!
Silence!
His cleverest, wisest,
handsomest, chicest Majesty,
King Torrap the Seventy-Seventh!
- Which one?
- Seventy-seventh!
Where's the Dowager Queen?
Resting after the grand promenade.
- And the Marriageable Princesses?
- They too.
What is it?
The promenade.
I always said... what?
Fresh air
is bad for your health.
- He's so stupid!
- Just like our parrot.
I invited you, ladies and gentlemen,
in order to...
To solve a most intricate
mathematical problem.
One hundred squares have
one hundred mirrors each.
How many mirrors in all?
- How many mirrors?
- The menu.
The King's menu.
I asked you, how many mirrors?
I feel shy.
How charming!
Turn away!
Arithmetic came hard to me
when I was a child.
I guessed so.
I learned to count only up to...
Up to three?
- How much is two plus two?
- Three.
And five minus one?
Three!
You're thrice the dolt!
You're absolutely right,
Your Majesty!
How many?
- How many mirrors?
- Two hundred.
Dunderhead!
- And what do you think?
- Four hundred!
You too!
Unbelievably stupid.
And what do you think,
Masters of Ceremonies?
We believe, Your Majesty,
it's four hundred and a half.
Why?
We think
that if four hundred isn't correct,
than four hundred and a half
would be correct.
You're fools with a half,
my dears.
This 77th one is as dumb...
as an ox.
You believe so?
I'm sure.
But that's a top state secret.
I'm as mute as a fish.
I got to go.
I'm not keeping you.
Anyway! One hundred squares
have one hundred mirrors each.
How many mirrors in all?
How many mirrors?
You. How many?
Come on, speak up!
How many mirrors?
As many as you wish.
- Ten thousand!
- Who said this?
I did.
You?
It's correct!
I swear by the beauty of my reflection,
it's a very complicated problem!
It's not complicated.
You didn't have enough time
to add up all the hundreds.
I didn't add up,
I just multiplied.
What do you mean? Just multiplied?
What's your name,
great mathematician?
Olia.
Kolia!
- And what is your name, page?
- Ailok!
Don't shout!
Ailok!
- What name is that?
- Not in our files.
- Ailok is Kolia read backwards.
- How charming!
So you're backward?
Are you a mathematician too?
Yes, we're twins.
Listen all!
I appoint Kolia
the Most Scientific Mathematician
of our kingdom,
and Ailok his Most Scientific
Mathematician Assistant!
I won't keep you any longer,
ladies and gentlemen.
Masters of Ceremonies!
Quick!
Away! Shoo!
Pages!
Tramps!
Out of my palace!
Pages, I want to let you into
our important state secret.
The beautiful Elipter!
What would you like?
I'm listening.
I must let you into
an important secret of our kingdom.
It's interesting.
His Majesty Torrap 77
is a perfect fool.
Even babies know that secret.
It's time to replace the king.
By whom?
By a new king.
Or, perhaps, by a queen.
I agree.
Don't trust my father.
He himself aspires after the crown,
but without you or me, dear Daot.
He likes sodas, doesn't he?
Yes, he does.
- Poison?
- Kills instantly.
My Queen!
I agree to everything.
You look like very nice boys.
But you must be terrible liars
and scoundrels, aren't you?
Can you keep a secret?
Swear before the only straight
mirror in the kingdom!
These are arithmetic test problems.
My courtiers are all fools.
I want to glorify and immortalize
my name.
If I can count all the mirrors
in the kingdom,
my descendants will always
be proud of King Torrap 77.
- Proud of who?
- Me.
Would you agree to participate
in solving this problem?
We would,
but on one condition.
How dare you to make conditions
to a king?
Your Majesty!
It's a teeny-weeny condition.
Speak up.
A mirror-maker, Dneirf,
is incarcerated in the Death Tower.
We ask you to pardon him.
I can't pardon criminals.
- He's not a criminal!
- He's a real friend!
Can't pardon him.
- Then postpone the execution.
- For a few days at least.
Will you agree then to be
my scientific arithmeticians?
Yes!
Hold it.
Yes, no, yes, no...
No!
I agree!
The mirror-maker Dneirf's execution
is to be postponed!
The mirror-maker Dneirf's execution
is to be postponed!
Your Majesty!
- To pick one's nose...
- ...is not proper.
Everything is proper for a king.
Why was the mirror-maker Dneirf's
execution postponed?
Such was my wish.
- What?
- My royal wish.
- Your royal wish?
- Yes.
How dare you?
Get out of here!
Your Majesty, have you forgotten
the history of your royal family?
To become the queen, your great
grandmother had her sister executed.
But your grandfather took the crown
from her
and confined his deposed mother
to a convent.
Your father executed your grandfather
only to sit on the throne
for 77 days.
Just seventy-seven days.
And you, if I'm not mistaken,
is the seventy-seventh?
What a coincidence.
Remember?
He was found dead in his bed.
And your mother became
the Dowager Queen.
Your elder brother succeeded him
as a king.
But he wouldn't listen to
his ministers' instructions.
Remember what happened to him?
I'll refresh your memory.
He went to the mountains and...
fell down the precipice.
After that you got the crown!
But crowning you,
we hoped
you won't forget
the dismal fate of your forbears.
What do you want me to do?
Never pronounce the words:
"such is my wish"!
You have to follow our wishes,
the wishes of the richest people
in the kingdom.
What do you mean, "uhu"?
Everything is "uhu"!
I "uhu" to everything!
That's better.
Go!
Stop! Stop them!
The mirror-makers started making this.
- Straight mirrors?
- The people see the truth!
And at a time like this you postpone
the mirror-maker Dneirf's execution!
Execute him! Immediately!
The key!
Take this symbol of
royal power!
Where is it?
That's them! The pages!
Catch them!
- The key!
- In the name of the King!
Give him the key, quick!
I think I've lost the key.
- You lose everything!
- Just like you!
- We're the King's pages!
- The key!
Are you playing statues?
Olia, it's not my fault.
Let's go to Daot, quick!
He's got the second key.
I'm thirsty!
I'm hungry!
Stop it!
Go!
The King's pages,
wait!
How did you get here?
We're going to Daot.
To Daot?
It's a long way!
What for?
Come to my place.
I'll treat you to yummy things.
I'm hungry!
And thirsty too!
Peaches!
- Let's drop by.
- Stop it!
We can't be delayed, miss!
Ice-cream, cakes, sodas!
- Sodas!..
- Sodas.
All right, but just for one moment.
I won't keep you long.
You're getting old.
Getting clumsy.
My dear Evals!
What are you doing?
- What do you mean?
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
You mean, because I hit the servant?
You were brought up in a very strange
way.
Tar, treat His Majesty's pages
to some good things.
- Tar?
- Rat.
- Why are you whispering?
- Oh, it's nothing.
Come on in,
I'll treat you to a feast.
What do those nasty boys want from
Daot?
There must be some secret.
I must inform my father immediately.
The key!
I'm the King's Important Minister!
The key!
Have you seen the King's pages here?
The key!
Listen carefully.
You got it?
Hurry up!
Ice-cream! Soda!
It's an emergency!
What happened?
My daughter has managed to lure
the King's pages into the castle?
That's my girl!
- Someone has arrived.
- Big deal!
- We'd better look.
- I'm sleepy.
Come on, let's run!
Where are they?
Good girl, Elitper.
- Elipter?
- Reptile.
You look so dirty!
Just like you!
Those rascals have stolen the key
to the Death Tower.
They looked suspicious to me, too,
father.
- We must jump.
- Let's hide in there.
It's too narrow, and we've eaten
so much. That's all because of you!
- There they are!
- Hold it!
Why were you in your way to Daot?
To pay him a visit!
He's our grandfather!
- I won't tell you the truth!
- You won't?
Let me go!
Throw this urchin
into the dungeon!
Let go!
You're hurting me!
You trash!
Naughty boy!
You'll come to your senses
sitting in the dungeon.
I must go to Daot at once!
Have them bring my carriage.
The royal carriage.
Royal?
Isn't it somewhat premature?
I'll accompany you,
Your Majesty.
Give the orders.
Etik the First!
The King!
Where's Olia?
Where are you, Olia dear?
She's dead!
Hello!
Why don't you say something?
Are you guarding those barrels
with wine?
Don't get the idea that I want
to taste your wine.
I like only sodas.
Please, say something,
because I'm getting very scared.
Why do you keep silent?
Is it empty?
Empty.
Open up!
She's alive!
The key!
Uncle Evals!
Does it hurt very much?
Don't you beat your servants?
We have never had and will never have
servants.
What country do you come from?
From the best country.
There's no better country in the world!
And where's your sister?
- We're boys.
- No, you are not.
Have you been told
or you guessed yourself?
I guessed it.
Are you going to tell anyone?
No.
Honest?
Honest.
What do you need my key for,
Important Minister Etik?
You see,
Most Important Minister Daot,
the King's key has disappeared.
Disappeared?
So, I'm the only possessor
of the symbol of royal power?
We need a new king!
I agree, we really need
a new king.
Anybody there?
No, nobody.
I had no doubt
that you'd be my ally.
Certainly, my dear Etik.
Well, to our success.
To success and trust.
To trust.
Give me the key, then.
No, I won't.
Yes, you will!
No, I won't.
Yes, you will!
No, I won't!
You will, fat toad!
A mouse!
The key!
The key!
Hurry up!
Uncle Evals!
Uncle Evals!
Hurry! Hurry!
Stop!
Make way, father!
Watch out!
Out of my way, you scrawny carrion
crow!
Toad!
The key!
The key!
Have you lost it again?
The key!
Hurry up!
Just a sec.
How absent-minded you are!
By the way, I'm just
your reflection.
You may pass!
Dneirf!
- You're free, Friend!
- Who are you?
We're your friends.
She's Olia, and I'm Ailo.
Ailo. Olia. Friends!
The key!
In the name of the King!
Let me pass this minute!
What is it?
When our scout group's on march,
Behind, my friend, don't lag,
For we must always stay in touch
With our vanguard flag!
Like early morning sun at dawn,
Alight it's over your head.
In the air it proudly soars on
And beckons us ahead!
And our hearts beat up with pep,
And lighter feels one's bag,
More lively getting our step,
Because we have our flag!
Like early morning sun at dawn,
Alight it's over your head.
In the air it proudly soars on
And beckons us ahead!
Shut up!
And should at you some hardship nag,
You cheer up, my friend!
You just remember our flag,
Go on, march to the end!
Like early morning sun at dawn,
Alight it's over your head.
In the air it proudly soars on
And beckons us ahead!
So much for my reigning!
Aunt Lesaew!
Aunt Lesaew!
My dear little pheasants!
Now I'm going to tell on you,
Torrap 77.
Don't! Don't!
All right, I won't be a tattletale.
Grandma is here!
What happened?
Thank you, Grandma.
My precious one!
It's just like in a fairy tale!
Ailo, look, it's like in a fairy tale!
Granny, dear!
It must be really a fairy tale.
Forgive me for losing things.
What's wrong, honey?
I just looked at myself
with other people's eyes.
Oh, my sweet baby!
And you, friends, did you try to look
at yourself with other people's eyes?
The End