1
All characters, facts, and places
herein are fictitious.
Any resemblance to reality
is purely coincidental.
Leontine, what is it?
Look, it's Jesus!
Where are they going?
They're coming down!
Where are you taking that statue?
What?
Where are you taking it?
They're taking it to the pope.
- He wants our phone number.
- No!
Hey, kid. Come here a minute.
What did table 16 have to eat?
The prince had snails.
- And to drink?
- Soave.
No, I saw them myself.
The prince had a bottle of Valpolicella.
- Hi, Marcello.
- Hi, Pierone.
Snails and Valpolicella.
Giulio, let me take a picture.
No chance, my friend.
Why pay him when I'll tell you
anything you want to know?
Manager, bring that photographer here!
- Give me the film.
- There's no film in it!
Everyone has a right to their image.
May I have a light?
- Come here a minute, sweetheart.
- Me?
Yes, you. I want to have a word.
Good evening. How are you?
- Well?
- Have a seat.
There's no chair.
Squat down.
Pardon me.
Naughty boy.
- Why?
- Because you're a naughty boy.
And I'm going to smash your face in.
My job is to inform the public.
Besides, a little publicity -
Your publicity got her
in trouble with her husband.
Do I get involved in your women and affairs?
You're not a journalist.
- Some journalism!
- Be quiet.
- Watch your step, Marcello.
- So kill me.
- Has he arrived?
- Not yet.
When he does, tell him he's an idiot.
Give me a whiskey.
This dump should be shut down.
It's unbearable.
Good evening, Maddalena. You all alone?
- Care to dance?
- No.
How about a vodka?
No, everything's going wrong tonight.
I'm leaving.
- May I accompany you?
- Why not?
- Your friends are ready to attack.
- Where are you two going?
- Miss Maddalena.
- Leave me alone tonight.
Welcome back. Lovelier than a movie star.
It's the same every night.
Don't they ever give up?
Paparazzo, that's enough.
You should be used to it.
You're a public figure.
Marcello, where are you taking her?
I'd like to live in a new city,
never run into anyone.
I really like Rome.
It's like a peaceful jungle.
It's easy to hide in.
I wish I could hide too, but I can't.
What do we do now?
- Go for a ride? Stay here?
I'm fed up with Rome. I'd like an island.
- So buy one.
- I've thought about it.
But would I even go?
Your problem is you have too much money.
And yours is you don't have enough.
Meanwhile, here we are.
It's not so bad.
So few of us unhappy people remain.
- What happened to your cheek?
- Nothing.
Don't worry.
You're so rich,
you'll always land on your feet.
- Think so?
- Sure.
I can't even stand on my own two feet.
I'd need some sort of vitality
that I just don't have.
But when I make love, then I come alive.
Only love gives me strength.
Long live love!
Annamaria, come look!
That car's the size of an apartment!
- Is that Liliana?
- I'm not Liliana.
- And who are you?
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Who are you talking to?
Who's there?
Liliana moved to Milan.
Want to come for a drive?
- Me?
- Yes.
Come on.
This lady wants me to go for a drive.
Should I?
Let's go for a drive with this woman.
What do you want to do?
Nothing. Go for a drive
and then take her home.
- You know her?
- No.
At least I don't think so.
I'm gonna go eat. I'll wait for you there.
- Here they come.
- Turn those lights off!
Soak 'em for it.
They're richer than Onassis.
Are you coming?
If I'm not imposing, I'd love a ride home.
You coming?
Nope.
But I live kinda far away.
- Climb in back. Can you make it?
- Yes, thanks.
- You all right?
- Yes.
- Bye, Ninni.
- Bye, Annamaria.
- Where do you live?
- In Cessati Spiriti.
- Is this your car?
- Yes.
- Did you buy it for her?
- Her father did.
All my father gave me were beatings!
- Do you know my father?
- You introduced us once.
- Where do your parents live again?
- In Cesena.
- Is that by the sea?
- No.
So how are things going?
What can I say?
Didn't things go well tonight?
One heel gave me
1,000 lira and some cigarettes.
Was he young or old?
I didn't look at his face!
Would you go with a woman like her?
- No.
- Why not?
She's no worse than lots of others.
Or don't you go with women like her?
- Sure, sometimes.
Listen, Gregory Peck,
you mind clueing me in?
What are we doing?
- Didn't you want a ride home?
- Yes.
So we're taking you home.
Why? What did you think?
Nothing. What should I think?
We'll wake everyone up. Turn off the radio.
- We're leaving right away, right?
- Is anybody at home?
- What's she saying?
- Is anybody home?
Like who? My cousin's in Velletri -
So will you invite us in for coffee?
Be glad to. I make good coffee.
Don't expect a palace.
I'll lead the way.
The coffee.
Watch out for the stairs.
The other evening a man -
What a mess! It's flooded again.
This is no way to live, goddamn it!
Wait a moment.
Some engineer!
He should've been a grave digger!
I could pay off all the sins
of the devil before this gets fixed.
Ah, crap!
I'll show you into the bedroom.
Dear God.
It's flooded too. Make yourselves
at home while I make coffee.
You need friends in high places these days.
I'm sorry. I put in a request
two years ago, but -
Don't worry about it.
I'll put the coffee on, all right?
Would you close the door?
You want to make love here?
No?
I'll leave your coffee out here.
You didn't talk business first? You crazy?
They didn't even need me!
Should I have kicked 'em out?
Maybe I'll get 2,000 lira.
Listen, I set the prices here!
Are they married?
Yeah, right!
Here. Many thanks.
Do I need to back up?
No, you can turn right at the end.
Can I give you a kiss?
Thanks, and come back whenever you want.
- Bye.
- Don't drive too fast!
Oh, God!
Emma!
Emma, what is it? Answer me.
What's happened?
What did you do?
You crazy fool!
It's nothing. Keep calm.
I'll drive you myself.
Why are you so crazy?
You want to ruin me?
One day I'll just let you die.
I'll let you die.
Emma, answer me. That's enough now.
Emma, darling.
My love.
Hurry!
Rubini, did you bring that woman in?
Giannelli, please don't write about this.
I don't need trouble with the police.
What happened? What's her name?
I can't tell you. Please, leave me alone.
You can come in.
Don't tire her out. She needs to rest.
She can go home in a few hours.
You'll have to make a police report.
It's obligatory.
Emma, why did you do it?
Tell me why.
The officer is waiting for you.
I'll be right back.
Wait there, please. He'll be right with you.
- Sister, may I use the phone?
- Certainly.
- Get down.
- I just want one picture!
Take off your glasses.
Producer Toto Scalise has just arrived.
He's signed the star for a major film role.
Is that the Swedish woman?
Don't let me see her
or I might kill my wife!
Long live Sweden!
The beautiful Swedish actress
is now tasting some food.
A typical Italian dish,
as colorful and fragrant
as our wonderful country.
Hi, Marcello. Nice piece of meat, huh?
Toto Scalise is now leading
the star toward customs...
- Was it a good flight?
- Yes, thank you.
What a commotion!
- Marcello, pass him!
- Hold your horses!
I want to get a picture. Run him over!
Is it true you take an ice bath
every morning?
What historical Italian figure
would you like to play?
Do you like men with beards?
What do you think of Italian actresses?
Do you think Italian neorealism
is dead or alive?
Do you believe in friendship among peoples?
No, I didn't have a chance to call earlier.
What do you think I'm doing? I'm working!
Did you take your medicine?
Are you alone with her?
There are at least 50 people here!
Swear on your mother's life! Swear it!
I swear on my mother.
Beautiful?
Sure, if you like American beauty.
She's like a big doll.
I'll come over there and rip your eyes out!
Marcello, why don't you come here now?
I can't.
I want to make love.
- What?
- I want to make love!
- Where should we take her?
- To St. Peter's and the Quirinale.
Not a bad idea.
Here's our Robert.
- Marcello?
- What do you want?
Are you going out?
- No, I'll wait for you here.
I'll stay home all day.
What do you want to eat? Something light?
I'll make you some ravioli.
I've got everything.
I'll just go down for vegetables.
Then we'll go to the movies.
Whatever you want.
Marcello, do you love me?
Don't leave her alone!
Stop, I'll take one more.
She doesn't stop for a second.
I've finished these rolls.
I'll get more from the car.
- Where did she go?
- She's like an elevator!
You're everything, Sylvia. You know that?
The first woman
on the first day of creation.
You're mother, sister, lover, friend,
angel, devil, earth, home.
That's what you are: home.
Why did you come here?
Go back to America, please.
What will I do now?
Our Robert is a painter too. Bravo!
I absolutely must see you and talk to you.
- Who is that idiot?
- Frankie Stout, a divine actor.
Please.
- Will you excuse me a moment?
- Go on, sweetheart.
He's dancing with the lady.
Hi, darling.
He's a good dancer.
Really great.
Are you making a banana flambe'?
- The lady's shoes.
- Give them here.
- I found them on -
- That's fine, thank you.
Excuse me. One moment.
What do you want?
Bravo, Frankie! You were wonderful!
You were wonderful!
What class, madame! What style!
That was dangerous but beautiful!
Thank you, sir.
Marcello, give me the champagne.
I'll bring her back immediately.
Give me the shoes. I'll be right back.
- Why's she so upset?
- Stay here. I'll handle it.
Here she is!
Sylvia, your shoes.
- Marcello, what happened?
- Nothing. Go away.
Great idea, Marcello.
Paparazzo, get out!
It'll be a worldwide scoop.
I'll give you 50 percent.
Screw your 50 percent! Beat it!
- Get lost!
- Where are you going?
Hurry, follow them!
We've lost them.
Yes... of course.
What is it?
It's full of holes there.
We'd better go now.
Sergio will be back on the 12th.
This is his mother.
- Do you have the key to his place?
- No, he takes it with him.
I'm his mother. Is this about work?
Yes, it's about work.
I'll call on the 12th. It doesn't matter.
Sorry, ma'am. Good night.
Excuse me, isn't that the American actress?
Yes.
- She's so beautiful!
- Good night.
I can't take you to my place.
That crazy woman's there.
- She wouldn't understand.
- Un-der-stand?
Wait, I have an idea.
Miss, a phone call for you.
Marcello! Sure you don't have
the wrong number?
Maddalena, may I bring someone there?
- Someone?
- Who calls at this hour?
Just someone. You're not alone?
I'm playing cards with my father.
Ah, your father's there.
Tell me...
what is it you want?
Nothing. I'll call you soon. Good night.
Sylvia, what are you doing?
Where would I find milk at this hour?
Sylvia, come on.
Where are you taking that cat?
Rome is full of cats. If we start -
Stop.
Come on.
You'll never find milk.
Wait in the car. I'll go.
I'll go.
Go on.
Excuse me, where can I buy some milk?
Okay, never mind.
Yes, Sylvia, I'm coming too.
I'm coming too.
She's right. I've had it all wrong.
We've all had it wrong.
Sylvia, who are you?
Turn his head.
To think this guy played Tarzan.
Turn his head back.
I'll get an over-the-mirror shot.
And I'll get one of you taking his picture.
Here's Marcello!
Boys, don't start now.
Wake up!
Marcello, give us all the details.
- Do me a favor and go away.
- I have to work!
Enough!
Marcello, why are your clothes all wet?
I don't know!
There's gonna be a fight.
Follow her, Mr. Robert!
This isn't over yet.
- Here he is, Marcello.
- Hit him first.
Marcello, raise your head a bit.
He's walking away! Mr. Robert!
Marcello, that's done. What now?
Put the horse on the table
and her on the ground.
I'll be right back.
So can I pick you up at 8:00 tonight?
You're so vain!
I'm not vain. I'm working.
Steiner!
I thought I saw you come in here.
How are you?
What are you doing here?
- It's so good to see you again.
This is like my second home.
Father Franz finally found this book
I've been looking for forever.
An old Sanskrit grammar.
It's been so long! How's your book going?
Oh... it's coming along.
I've finished gathering material.
I thought I'd ask you to read it.
- And you?
- I read your last article.
I liked it very much.
Why? It was very good.
It was clear and passionate -
your best qualities.
The ones you insist on trying to hide.
I don't think I even know how to write.
I live nearby. Why don't you
come by some evening?
- Can you stay five more minutes?
- Of course.
- Father, may I bring a friend up?
- Certainly.
- We're not disturbing you?
- Not at all.
As you see,
these priests don't fear the devil.
They even let me play the organ.
Just don't make a racket, okay?
Don't worry. Maybe some jazz, that's all.
Couldn't we close the church?
- Jazz is fine by me.
Sorry, I won't do that again.
You want to try?
Sounds we're no longer used to hearing.
Like a mysterious voice
from deep within the earth.
- What do you want to hear?
- You choose.
Where did they say it was?
Hey, Paparazzo!
- They said at the 47th kilometer.
I don't want an egg right now!
- I don't want it!
- Eat.
And chew slowly.
We should have come yesterday.
It'll be full of photographers.
Is there any coffee left?
The little that's left is for Marcello.
I don't want a banana!
- I don't want it!
- Eat it.
And chew slowly.
- The Madonna's children?
- Yes.
- Where's the field of miracles?
- That way.
You'd better wait here.
There's too much commotion.
Norman.
Don't go anywhere.
Norman, where are the kids?
Locked up in the police station.
Take me with you.
I'll tell you what the communists did.
- Is that the miracle tree?
- Down at the end.
Damn the police! Damn the police!
You have no right to detain those children!
- Everyone's upstairs.
- Let's go in.
Come on!
- Which way?
- In there.
- Ma'am, where are the children?
- I don't know.
- And the sergeant?
- Who knows?
What about the 500 lira
the reporter gave you?
- The father and mother!
- Can I go home, Inspector?
My back hurts, and I'm cold.
Yes, it's like winter here.
Look over there.
That's good.
- Now stand here.
- The grandfather's here too!
You must be a very happy mother.
What are their names?
Dario and Maria.
Great names. That's right, cry!
It's a miracle.
The Madonna remembers everyone.
- Is this good?
- Perfect!
- A cigar.
- Sing first.
- So it's not a miracle?
- I don't believe so.
The Lord can perform miracles anywhere,
often among the most destitute,
but they're very rare events.
- Couldn't this be one?
No, those children are lying.
Seeing the Madonna changes a person.
They don't try to profit from it.
Miracles occur in prayer and silence,
not in all this hubbub!
On your way to school,
whom did you see beside the tree?
- The Madonna.
- Who saw her first?
- Me!
- Me!
At the same time?
No, he saw her first.
- Then what happened?
- I'm their uncle.
We knelt down, and the Madonna smiled at us.
Her feet didn't even touch the ground.
How did you know it was the Madonna?
They don't want to believe it.
You mean you think it really was her?
It doesn't matter if it was or not.
What do you mean? Why do you say that?
It doesn't matter.
Your country is a land of ancient beliefs,
filled with supernatural forces,
so everyone feels their influence.
Besides, he who looks for God
finds him wherever he wants.
Did you come for a miracle too?
No, I'm here with my fiance'.
He's a journalist on assignment.
All these people and all this shouting
frighten me a little.
Stand there. Don't look
at the camera, and don't laugh.
Higher. Keep going.
No, I was wrong. Come down.
Let's work out how to frame the children.
Remember: Children are short.
Am I in the shot?
Come on, everyone. Quickly!
Hurry, please!
- There's my fianc.
- Yes, go join him.
Excuse me a moment.
Ready? Action!
Louder! All of you have to pray!
It's 7:00 now.
We'll start again in two hours.
Get something to eat. See you tonight.
Enjoy your dinner!
Holy Madonna, please heal my little girl.
Grant me this miracle.
I ask you with all my soul.
Don't worry, my darling.
The Madonna hears us. She is good.
A huge crowd has gathered
in this remote and deserted region.
Many are believers. Others are just curious.
Among the latter
are reporters and photographers
from newspapers from all over the world.
An endless line of cars has been arriving.
It's humid, but the sky is clear
after all the rain.
The two children
are still in police custody,
with no further word
from Rome regarding them.
Let's speak to the children's uncle now.
When did they first see the...
the miracle?
My niece and nephew first saw
the holy image of the Madonna
on March 15 of...
next year.
- You mean this year.
- This year.
They're releasing the children.
Permission came from Rome.
They're coming! They've released them!
You stay here. Good evening.
I'll be right back.
- Where are you going?
- Up there.
- I'll come with you.
- No, stay here with the lady.
Wait here.
Marcello, come down!
I just got up here! Relax!
Shall I come up too?
Marcello, why have you changed so much?
Why don't you love me anymore?
Dear Madonna, if he'd only marry me,
I'd come here on foot
every day to thank you.
But I don't even ask for that much.
Just that he be mine again,
like he was once.
Here they come!
Here they come.
When they get to the tree, start filming.
Wait till I signal you with my handkerchief.
How are you, sweetie?
Focus on them with the crowd behind.
It's dark back here!
My wife's down there too.
Sometimes she makes me so mad,
and then other times -
Heal me!
Stay calm.
One at a time.
- It's gonna rain.
- That's dangerous.
The lights will short-circuit!
Shut everything off!
Turn off all generators!
We've taken shelter in the bus
because the rain's started up again.
The Madonna's over there!
The children are getting up again
and running the other way.
They're shouting that they see the Madonna.
The crowd's going wild and following them.
Once again
they're running to a different spot.
There she is!
Let me through!
They'll catch pneumonia in this rain!
Quiet! The Madonna said
to build a church here
or she won't appear anymore.
Good night! Go home!
Let me go!
- Paparazzo, stop it!
- It's a great shot.
Let me go! How dare you act like that!
You're worse than hyenas!
You have no respect for anyone!
What are you crying for?
Where'd you leave it?
I don't remember!
He's dead!
He's dead!
Good evening. I'm Steiner's wife.
We've been expecting you.
Good evening, Marcello. How are you?
Fine. What a lovely home!
This must be Emma.
I've been wanting to meet you.
- Thank you for coming.
- Excuse me.
Come here.
- Anna, how are you?
- Did you finish your book?
You must know Margherita's work?
- Of course.
And you didn't even come to my exhibition!
She loves your writing,
but she doesn't speak any Italian.
She did say you're very handsome.
- She's right.
Odd as it sounds, I feel I know you well.
The day you realize you love Marcello
more than he loves himself...
you'll be happy-
I've always said:
The only real women are from the Orient.
After all, where was Eve?
In the Garden of Eden.
Where was the Garden of Eden? In the Orient.
There love is - - So why did you marry me?
I made a big mistake!
Mysterious, maternal...
lover and daughter in one.
She huddles at your feet
like a love-struck little tiger.
Why doesn't he just go and live there?
- Will you introduce me to Emma?
- Of course.
What a lovely face!
Listen, hold on tight to this guy.
For his sake, I mean.
The Oriental woman submits both in spirit
and flesh.
May I introduce Marcello
and his fiance, Emma?
Pleased to meet you.
I agree with your concept of women.
The Oriental woman has much to teach us,
because she has remained close to nature,
a nature conquered
after centuries of civilization.
What use is civilization to you?
- What's it to you?
You don't know how to make love anymore.
Speak for yourself.
- Something to drink?
- Yes, please.
I'm jealous of you.
I've read all your stories
from around the world.
I'd like to travel too
and meet women of all races.
I'd like to have children
of every color: red, yellow.
Like a bouquet of flowers.
- Is that all you can say?
You must have incredible memories.
At my age, memories aren't enough.
I have plans!
What a splendid creature!
Are you his fiance?
- Yes.
- You must be from the south.
What an extraordinary character.
He's written dozens of important books,
yet he's maintained a childlike candor.
I wonder how he can be so optimistic.
I always watch him with amazement.
Sometimes I wonder if I envy him.
I see you have a beautiful Morandi.
Yes, he's my favorite painter.
His subjects are immersed
in a dreamlike light,
yet painted with such detachment,
precision, and rigor
that you could almost touch them.
It's an art where nothing is coincidental.
Steiner says you have two loves,
and you don't know which to choose:
journalism or literature.
Beware of prisons!
Remain free, available. Like me.
Never marry anything. Never choose.
Even in love, it's better to be chosen.
I read your poems
when I thought of writing poetry.
I like them. They're powerful, precise.
It's not like a woman's writing.
What would you know about women?
I prefer that type of art.
We'll need it in the future.
Art that's clear and free of rhetoric,
that doesn't lie or flatter.
I don't like the work I do now,
but I often think about tomorrow.
We must all think of tomorrow
but without forgetting to live today.
I believe if we live
with an intense fullness of spirit,
every moment counts as a whole year,
and every year we get five years younger!
Iris, you're a prophet tonight.
An alcoholic prophet!
My friends, you think
too much about the future.
But you seem so different.
What do you do?
I mean, what do you like to do most?
I don't know. You?
I like the three great escapes:
smoking, drinking, and bed.
So this is your wisdom?
You read my work but understand nothing.
You're the true primitive,
primitive like a gothic spire.
You're so tall that no voices
can reach you up there.
Really? If you could see my real height,
you'd see I'm no taller than this.
...primitive like a gothic spire.
You're so tall that no voices
can reach you up there.
Really? If you could see my real height,
you'd see I'm no taller than this.
This is an old recording. I'll turn it off.
What is it? Why can't we hear it?
I don't want to bore you.
They're just meaningless sounds.
They're nature sounds he recorded.
Please tell him to play it. Please.
Why record them if they're of no interest?
I thought they were beautiful.
- You really want to hear them?
- Yes!
I've heard them. They're very stimulating.
As you wish.
Birds.
That's exactly how they sound.
A forest.
What are you two doing here?
- Why are you out of bed?
- Excuse me.
You'll catch cold in those bare feet!
Your storm woke him up.
- Did you want one more kiss?
- Daddy bighead!
Daddy bighead! How dare you!
Now everyone knows. Daddy has a big head.
What lovely children!
- He has such intelligent eyes!
- It's true.
If he hears something interesting,
first he thinks about it
with a serious little face,
and then he laughs cheerfully.
If you give him a flower,
first he examines it,
and then he laughs
because he understands it's beautiful.
The same way you smile
when you listen to nice music.
Now back to sleep.
I'll come say good night again.
Say good night to everyone.
The girl is completely different.
She loves combinations of words.
A new phrase enchants her.
Sometimes she invents them herself.
I've written down a few.
For example...
Who is the mother of the sun?
It's really beautiful.
The words of a poet.
- Do they sleep with you?
- They'd like to, but they're not allowed.
But sometimes
the little one sneaks into our room
and slips into our bed
between the two of us.
He takes one of my fingers
and squeezes it tightly.
You can't imagine
how sweet it is to fall asleep
with a little child next to you.
Have you known Steiner long?
Yes, but we've only seen
each other a few times.
But...
Marcello, you'll have a home
like this one day too.
We make a good pair.
We're made for each other.
- You have to invite me more often.
- Anytime you like.
What is it, Marcello?
I need a change of scene.
I need to change a lot of things.
Your home is a refuge.
Your children, your wife, your books,
your extraordinary friends.
I'm wasting my life. I'm not going anywhere.
I had ambitions once.
Maybe I'm losing everything,
forgetting all that.
The answer isn't being locked up
at home. Don't do what I've done.
I'm too serious to be an amateur,
but not serious enough to be a professional.
The most miserable life is better,
believe me,
than an existence protected by a society
where everything's organized
and planned for and perfect.
I can only be a friend,
so I can't give you any advice.
But if you like,
I could introduce you to a publisher
who'd give you a decent job
and a chance to focus
on your real interests.
Better than writing
for those semifascist rags, right?
Want to think about it and discuss it later?
Yes.
Come with me.
Sometimes at night...
the darkness and silence weigh on me.
It's peace that frightens me.
I fear peace more than anything else.
It seems to me it's just a facade
with hell hiding behind it.
I think of what my children
will see in the future.
It will be a wonderful world, they say.
But how, when a phone call can end it all?
One should live beyond passion and emotion,
in the harmony found
in perfect works of art,
in that enchanted order.
We should learn to love one another,
to live outside of time, detached.
Detached.
I can't spend my life calling you!
I want to work in peace! I don't know!
Could you please turn off that jukebox?
No, I won't tell you where I am! Go to hell!
Crazy idiot!
You think I could have some quiet?
- This one's broken, Paola.
- Get another one.
Are you eating here?
- No... yes... I don't know.
The food's good, you know.
Is it hard to learn to type?
- You want to be a typist?
- I'd love to.
- You're very pretty, you know?
- Oh, don't exaggerate.
You know very well you're pretty.
- Yeah, sure.
- This is broken.
You're not from Rome. Where are you from?
- Umbria, near Perugia.
- How'd you end up here?
My father's working in Anzio,
so I came here.
But after Christmas
I'm moving to Ostia or Rome.
- Who's he, your brother?
- He's my helper.
They treat you well here!
Yes... but I don't like it much.
I can't wait to go home.
Sunday I saw a car
with a Perugia license plate,
and I felt so homesick I nearly cried.
- Show me your profile.
- Why?
Just for a second.
You look like a little angel
from an Umbrian church.
You've heard that before, huh?
Why are you laughing?
No reason.
- You have a boyfriend?
- Yeah, right.
You're not writing anymore?
- Can I turn the music back on?
- Sure.
You throwing away this piece of paper too?
What do you want?
- Marcello, your father's here.
- My father?
A guy over there says he's your father.
Stop joking around.
He's eating over there.
He's been waiting for two hours.
Didn't he say he was his father?
- He's sitting over there.
- Where?
Next to the black guy.
Dad.
Finally!
I arrived in Rome this morning.
I looked for you at your place
and at the newspaper.
I was about to leave
when your friend said to wait here.
That's Paparazzo.
I'm out and about all day for work.
I only go home to sleep.
Why are you in Rome?
To grease a few palms at the ministry.
They can cover up anything. You look well.
So do you. How's Mother?
She gave me a letter for you.
She's well. Always worrying, as usual.
And with age these things get worse.
Here it is.
- Poor Mother.
- And you, dear boy...
you could write more often,
and even come see us.
When were you home last?
- I know, but things here -
- She said hello. Is she an actress?
- An actress?
She wishes! She's a two-bit extra.
- Dad, you want a gin fizz?
- Gin fritz?
My beer is fine.
This place is hopping at night!
Is it always like this?
Yes.
Back home it's dead at this hour.
But you're doing well here?
Have you adjusted?
Sure, by now.
Does your work pay well?
Journalism pays quite well
if you're good at it.
I'm lucky. I've met the right people.
I can even get into parliament
and the Vatican.
I have a car, an apartment -
- Speaking of which...
who's that woman
who always answers your phone?
You're a grown man now.
Just don't do anything foolish.
Have fun if you want,
but marriage is a serious matter.
A woman just living with you -
Now I understand.
You spoke with the cleaning lady.
- So you finally found him?
- Yes, thanks.
- So you two have met?
- Sure.
He told me to wait for you here.
- Are you a photographer?
- Yes.
Interesting work.
Artistic, in a certain sense.
You work with my son?
- Yeah, I got stuck with him.
Any idea where the prince went?
I almost had him, but he got away.
I'm gonna look for him.
- Maybe you boys are busy?
- Not at all.
Maybe you have an appointment -
- My work is here too.
- Really?
It's where you find interesting people,
or a bit of news, or a good picture.
- My paper's up there.
- I see.
So you just sit here?
- Shall we go to the movies?
- No.
That's all I do at home.
But I'll leave you alone now.
You're young -
- No, Dad, we have nothing to do.
What could we do this late
for a few hours before bed?
- At this hour it's just nightclubs.
- That reminds me:
A friend who came here
told me about a place.
A kind of cabaret. The Chi-Cha or Ki-Ka...
The Cha-Cha? That's an old one.
- That's it! The Cha-Cha.
- You want to go there?
Well, I suppose we could have a look,
since I'm here so rarely.
Good idea! Invite your friend. It's on me.
No, I'll get this. Let me handle it.
- Antonio, come here.
- Waiter!
- We're going with my father.
- Where?
What about the prince?
What? Oh, I see.
It's all lumped together here.
Paparazzo, hurry up.
Dad, over here.
To the Cha-Cha-Cha.
I have my Vespa here! Take it for me, okay?
Tell the boss I'll call him at home.
Get moving, boys!
Will this table do?
Nothing's changed! Just like I remember it.
- Were you here in 1922?
- No, I was in Turin.
I've only been in Rome a few years.
- Dad, you want a drink?
- Of course!
- Whiskey?
- Yes, whiskey.
Three whiskeys.
- Very well. What label?
- Black & White.
Why not do an article on this place?
It's like a cemetery.
A beautiful woman! Nice long gams.
- What?
- He said she has long legs.
Have you been to Paris?
I was there a few times.
Once, in a cabaret like this,
there was this beautiful girl,
with nice game like that one.
She began to strip, and when she was naked,
it turned out she was a he.
- Is your father still living?
- Yes.
He must still be young. What's he do?
Nothing. He's a burn.
He just lazes around...
bothering my poor mother and sister.
He sings, whistles,
begs for money for the movies.
It's not true.
Paparazzo, look over there.
- Lilly, look who's here!
- He's a looker!
I'm still waiting to see
my picture in your paper, creep!
You're beautiful!
- What's her name?
- Fanny.
- You know her well?
- You bet he does!
- She's French.
- Very nice.
She's French?
Liar!
Joker! Fibber!
How can you stand him?
- This is my father.
- Sure!
- She doesn't believe me.
- Why not?
- Really?
- Yes.
My compliments! You're beautiful!
It's because I promised her a picture.
She's really very nice.
I don't doubt it.
- Shall we invite her over?
- Why not?
Invite her over!
And let's order some champagne.
Orange soda is fine for her.
- No, champagne is fine.
- We'll order Veuve Clicquot.
Let me handle it. I know about these things.
I sold champagne to half of Italy!
Meanwhile, here's your whiskey.
To your health, my boy.
- And to yours, Dad.
- Thanks.
- It's good.
- Yes, it is.
Did you order champagne? Here it is.
And it comes with a waitress!
What more could you want?
Fanny. Don't get up.
I'm not saying hello to you... or you.
Have you seen your son at work? Some job!
Send him back to his hometown.
You can't really be his father.
- I am!
- You're too young.
Please, young lady, let's forget about age.
Awaken not desperate sorrow
that presses upon my heart.
The thing that ages us most is boredom.
I traveled a lot on business as a young man,
and I felt like a lion.
Even now when I travel,
I can keep up with these guys.
But when I'm at home, I feel like I'm 80.
What are you doing?
You take care of the Coca-Cola.
I'll handle the champagne.
Watch this.
It's so beautiful. It always makes me cry.
That's right! It makes me cry.
For you, young lady-
To your beautiful legs,
which I've had the good fortune to admire.
Very good.
But now we need another little drop.
First I toasted your beautiful legs.
Now I must toast -
I wasn't going to say anything scandalous.
Your father is much nicer than you.
Much nicer!
Don't be silly, miss.
Listen, I'll teach you a challenging trick.
Let's see if you can do it.
Watch closely.
You put a coin on your forehead,
then make it fall
without it touching your nose.
- That's child's play!
- Want to try?
I'll take a coin
and put it on your forehead.
Let's see you do it.
- Wait.
- I'm waiting.
Wait...
You got me!
Now it's my turn to tell a joke.
A nice little story.
A woman sends her husband to the market
to buy three blouses,
six handkerchiefs, and -
What's this thing for women called?
A bra.
So he sets out,
but along the way he has some wine
and forgets everything.
When he gets home, the teacher asks -
- Teacher?
- His wife.
Did you forget my things?
No! They're right here,
and he takes out his handkerchief.
- Where are my handkerchiefs?
- Right here.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
And my blouses?
Right here. One, two.
And where's my bra?
Wait, I bought it. I really did...
Here it is!
- But you don't need one. I like yours.
- Dad!
She's so beautiful!
The champagne's all gone.
We need to order more.
Waiter!
Hey, this is a waltz!
I have half a mind to -
- Miss, may I have this dance?
- Here I am.
I'm ready too.
What's wrong? I can manage!
You know, when I was a boy -
Paparazzo, have one.
When I was a boy, he was never at home.
He'd be away weeks at a time.
He was never there.
How my mother cried!
I almost never saw him.
I hardly even know him.
But I've enjoyed seeing him again tonight.
- He's a nice guy, huh?
- Very.
Make sure he enjoys himself tonight.
- Yes, but -
Maybe this isn't how
you dance to this music.
Don't worry. I like this better.
Really? Then let's dance!
- What extraordinary eyes!
- Really?
I'm not sure how to take that.
- As a sign of my infinite admiration.
I fear you're just like your son.
What? Like my son?
We must be of the same breed!
No! Daddy, come with me!
Marcello, follow me. You know where I live.
Careful, 'cause I drive really fast,
though my car's not English!
Dad, you're really going
to her place for spaghetti?
Yes! He wants to have
spaghetti bolognese with me!
Now go on!
Are you comfortable in my carriage?
Dad, is everything all right?
I'm in excellent company.
Now leave me alone.
If you made love like I drive,
you'd be a happy man.
- Be quiet!
- You'll wake everyone up.
Don't drive too fast!
My father's still a good-looking man, huh?
Gloria, wake up.
You took the longest route. Oh, my foot!
Why did you take that route?
- Aren't you coming?
- No.
Why not?
I'm tired. In fact, you know what?
I'll leave you the car.
You take my dad home.
Come on!
Tell him
I had to rush to the printer.
And to call me before he leaves.
Come on!
I don't feel like it.
I don't know this neighborhood.
I'm going to walk around.
Where have you been? It's been half an hour!
- Marcello, your father's not well.
- What?
Maybe he drank too much.
I'm going to the pharmacy.
- You left him alone?
- He wants these drops.
Paparazzo, run to the pharmacy
and get these.
- What?
- Hurry!
- What floor?
- Third.
What number?
Don't shout! It's a respectable building!
Turn off the light.
- Where's the light switch?
- There.
Wait there.
Paparazzo went to the pharmacy.
He'll be here soon.
It's nothing. Maybe I drank a bit too much.
Of course it's nothing.
You want a glass of water?
No, it'll pass.
- What happened?
- I don't know. He felt ill.
I got so scared. Marcello's in there now.
- Can I go in to make coffee?
- No, he said to wait here.
What's this neighborhood called?
Italia.
Never heard of it. Is it far?
When I'd come to Rome,
I always stayed in a hotel
near Piazza Fiume.
What time is it?
Almost 4:00.
There's a train at 5:30.
I have to catch it. I can make it.
I'm sure I can make it.
Dad, why not come rest at my place a while?
No, I'd rather leave now.
I can be home by 10:00.
- Ah, my watch.
- You can leave later.
No.
I feel much better now.
Dad, please stay until tomorrow,
if not at my place, then at your hotel.
What hotel are you at?
I'll skip work.
We can spend the day together.
We can talk and -
We never see each other.
I have to go.
The taxi's here.
- Marcello, the taxi's here.
- What taxi?
I called for it.
Where's my hat?
We can send it away.
Go downstairs, will you?
- Dad, don't leave.
- I want to go home.
Good-bye, young lady.
- Good-bye, and all the best.
Bye, Marcello.
It was nice seeing you, son. Write to us.
No, don't come with me.
I prefer to go alone, please.
Think I'll keep quiet like her husband?
She cheats, and he says nothing!
He's just showing off for the ladies.
- What happened?
- I don't know, but it was exciting!
I'll find out.
Every word he wrote is true!
Come back here, you bastard!
- Nico!
- Marcellino, you evil man!
- How are you?
- Fine.
- Where are you going?
- To my fiance"s castle in Bassano.
- Can I come too?
- Sure.
Paparazzo was looking for you
for a fashion shoot.
I haven't modeled for a year now.
- Nicolina!
- There they are.
Nicolina, we're here.
Is there room for my friend too?
- Try the other car.
- What a shame.
- See you at the castle.
- Okay, bye.
Is there room for two forlorn souls?
- Ride in the next car.
- Oh, God!
Oliviero, can my friend come too?
One of those pimps you fall for?
Come on.
- There's a shortcut after Capranica.
- Follow us.
Let's hope not, so we can go to bed early.
Only the old fogies will be there now.
Our parties are famous
for being first-class funerals.
- Your brother's off hunting, I believe.
- Irene, take this mutt.
Pass him here.
Where are we going?
Excuse me, where are we going?
- Bassano di Sutri.
What are you whining about?
What language is that?
Eskimo.
Good evening to you all!
Where are you taking that?
Watch out or you'll spill everything!
- Massamilla!
- Hello, Clemente.
Giulio, look who I brought.
You big slut.
Who told you to come here?
They came from all over Italy.
We were all there.
It was a touching ceremony,
the people laying flowers at the tomb
of their beloved leader.
Excuse me, but we haven't met.
I'm the youngest son.
The least important, naturally.
Would you like to meet
other members of the family?
Grandmother.
No, don't bother her.
- I'd like you to meet Mr. -
- Rubini. Pleased to meet you.
She pretends she's asleep
to avoid talking to anybody.
Let's continue climbing the family tree.
Father, meet Mr. Rubini.
He looks like he actually works.
Really? How do you do?
- What a handsome young man!
- Are you a journalist?
I need a nanny to put me to bed.
Will you do it, Jane?
Be my nanny tonight.
Lady Rodd, don't you ever wash
these dogs? They stink.
They smell wonderful!
This is our Irene,
the most beautiful debutante this year,
whom I'd love to marry, but -
- I know who he is.
Excuse me.
Come on.
Let's dance.
Was he the one making advances, or you?
Me, of course.
You're dying to see
your name in the paper, huh?
Why don't we go somewhere quiet?
- Like where?
So was my first husband,
but he always exaggerated his news.
Poor me. I only realized it
when the honeymoon had ended.
Better exaggerated news than no news at all.
My husband thinks so too.
It's often the public
who demands these exaggerations.
Personally, I could give you news
that isn't exaggerated at all.
I know this perfume.
Maddalena!
Where did they find you?
I'm fine. I'm drunk. Do you know Jane?
She's an American painter
who thinks Rome is a colony.
Everyone invites her over
for the filthy things she says.
She's lots of fun.
The Montalbani.
Federica the Wolf.
She likes to suckle youngsters.
The Confalonieri own half of Calabria
and Rome's finest love nests.
Little Eleonora: 200,000 acres
and two suicide attempts.
The Sanseverinos: a splendid Tuscan castle.
That's Don Giulio and Nico,
his Swedish friend, soon to be a princess.
Don't make that face.
You think we're any better?
At least they do these things
with a certain elegance.
Who lives in that villa on the grounds?
No one. It's empty.
It has the nicest style
of all the buildings.
I'm empty too, you know?
Who are these women?
Great-grandmothers,
great-great-grandmothers...
Beautiful women. Did you notice
they all have the same eyes?
You know, I've thought about you often.
- I don't understand you at all.
- Really?
Neither do I.
It doesn't matter.
If you're looking
for a serious conversation, forget it.
How's your lady friend?
So you're afraid of serious conversations?
But you can't talk seriously.
- Or can you?
- Where are you taking me?
This is the room for serious conversations.
Sit down.
What are we doing?
Where are you going?
Marcello, can you hear me?
Have you ever felt me so close?
Where are you? Can you hear me?
- Yes.
- Where are you talking from?
Far, far away...
If I kept quiet,
it'd be like I no longer existed.
I'm still here. Don't leave.
Would you marry me?
And you?
Yes, I'm in love with you.
Since when?
Listen. Know what this sound is?
No, I don't.
Guess what this is.
- A kiss?
- For you.
So will you marry me?
Or are you afraid to answer?
Why this question? You're drunk, you know.
Yes, a little.
I love you, Marcello.
I'd like to be your wife
and be faithful to you.
I'd like it all: to be your wife...
and to whore around and have fun.
I feel that I love you tonight,
that I need you.
- Is that true?
- Yes, it's true.
I don't know if you're joking,
but it doesn't matter.
I love you. I want to be with you always.
- You'd hate me in a few months.
Why should I hate you?
Because you can have one thing or the other,
and it's too late for me to choose.
I've never wanted to choose.
I'm just' a whore,
and I'll always be a whore.
I don't want to be anything else!
That's not true.
You're an extraordinary woman.
Your courage, your honesty...
I really do need you.
Your desperation gives me strength.
You'd be a marvelous companion.
I could tell you everything.
You hear me?
Answer me.
Enough of this game. Come back.
I want to talk to you.
- We're off to catch ghosts.
- Is Maddalena with you?
In 1922 I spent a night
in a castle like this near Genzano.
We saw a little girl with a candle
appear in my sister-in-law's castle.
- It turned out it wasn't a little girl.
- Or a candle!
Don't be silly.
I bet you that when I die...
Listen to the silence!
- Look, a light!
- That's a candle reflected in the window.
You have no imagination!
Don't you remember the farmers
talking about a hunchback?
Giulio, is there no electricity out here?
Watch out for bats!
Bats? They're my favorite.
Watch out, Nicolina.
The politician is after you.
Dear, the key isn't in the door.
It must be on the ground.
Give me some light.
I don't see it.
It's not here. We have to go back.
- Here's the key.
- Give it here.
- Well done!
- Who found it? Nicolina?
- When were you last inside here?
- About two years ago.
I'd turn it into a great bachelor pad,
but Father says no.
Will you be writing an article
about the stupid and corrupt aristocracy?
First, I write about other things.
Second, you're not that interesting.
Who came here with Maddalena?
- Who's Maddalena?
Careful. It's full of mice,
cockroaches, vipers, and vampires...
- and now sluts.
- Thank you.
I'll go ahead and light the way.
- Giulio, when was this built?
- Five centuries ago.
Five centuries of love.
- Any popes in the family?
- Two.
- Countess Cristina.
- If you're scared, I'll hold you.
Two popes, darling!
I'll be your guide.
This way.
We're sweeping the floor with our gowns.
- Irene, I could love you up here.
- You clown!
Allow me to say
you're like a beautiful apparition
right out of a painting.
What a disaster!
This whole room would have to be shored up.
Giulio, it pains me
to see this place crumble.
But you're always in Rome.
You don't look after it.
What can I do, Dad?
What? This will all be yours one day.
Giulio, I'm your forefather.
Go away, you idiot.
If you see a ghost, leap into my arms.
All right.
Eugenio, stop it!
Otherwise go away.
Is your aunt a medium?
Didn't you know?
Her husband left her because
there was always a ghost in her bed.
I remember.
We've met somewhere.
I don't forget a face like that.
Well, I work,
so perhaps it was in some office.
- You work?
- Yes.
Who are you trying to summon?
- Stop fooling around.
- Cristina's making me laugh.
It's not true.
Who are you?
Who do you wish to communicate with?
I feel an energy.
Keep the contact, Countess.
- And don't laugh.
- I'm not.
Do you have a message for one of us?
Answer, please.
What's that light down there
blinking on and off?
Don't be scared. It's a tractor.
In summer they work at night too.
- Call Sister Edvige.
- Who's she?
A nun who walks around
with her head on a plate.
Don't be stupid.
Is it you again?
Who won't you leave me alone?
Please go away!
Ask if it's the same woman as last time.
The scent of your breath in my lungs
and your blood in my veins!
She's just drunk.
Why's she doing that?
Blow out the candles!
Blow them out!
Who are you? Tell me who you are.
Who do you wish to communicate with?
Giulio?
Giulio, there's a message for you.
That slut is in love with you.
Giulio, you can't run from my love.
- Enough! Let's have some light!
- We're just joking around.
Irene, come here.
Who are you, poor soul?
Why are you crying?
Why are you crying?
Wait, I'll light a match.
No, not here.
What are you doing?
You're crazy, darling!
This is the first time I've seen the dawn.
Marcello, have you met my son?
Pleased to meet you.
Shall we go have some spaghetti?
One egg for 45 lira? Forget it.
We'll buy them in Capranica.
Still out and about at this hour?
Good morning.
- Did you sleep well, Mother?
- Think you're still a young thing?
We went up to the old villa.
Is crazy Francesca with you?
- Who's she?
- The princess mother.
What have I done to be treated this way?
Even dogs aren't treated like this!
Who do you think you are?
If you loved me half as much
as I love you, you'd understand.
Sure.
- But you don't love anyone!
- Stop shouting.
- You don't know what love is!
- And I suppose you do.
Your heart is closed and empty.
All you think about is women -
and you think that's love!
You've been saying that for four hours.
I've heard enough! I want to go home!
Some men are happy to find
someone who loves them.
They don't go running after other women.
You're the only one like this!
It's a disgrace!
My disgrace is having met you!
Understand?
I can't stand being around you!
Go away!
Go away and never come back!
Where are you going, stupid? Come back.
Leave me alone! Let me live my life!
Get in the car, you idiot!
Look, Emma, I'll -
Get in.
What do you want from me?
You're a miserable worm!
You'll end up all alone like a dog!
You'll see.
Who'll stay with you if I leave you?
What will you do with your life?
No one will love you like I do.
I can't spend my life loving you.
You say I'm the crazy one,
living in a dream,
out of touch with reality.
But it's you who's got it all wrong.
Can't you see you already have
the most important thing in life?
A woman who really loves you,
who'd give her life for you.
But you spoil everything.
You're always restless, unhappy.
When two people love each other,
nothing else matters.
What are you afraid of?
Of you... your selfishness...
your miserable ideals.
You offer me a life fit for a worm.
You only talk of cooking and bed.
A man who lives like that is done for!
He's nothing but a worm!
I don't believe in your aggressive,
clinging, maternal love!
I don't want it! I don't need it!
That's not love, it's degradation!
I can't live like this!
I don't want to be with you anymore!
- Get out!
- No!
You're a swine, a coward!
I feel sorry for you!
And you make me sick! Get out!
No! I'm staying here with you.
No, you're not. Get out.
Get out of the car.
Get out of the car! It's over!
It's over! Get lost!
Bastard!
You're a bastard! A louse!
- Damn you!
- I never want to see you again!
Hitch a ride with a trucker, you slut!
Run off to your whores!
Hello.
Where?
You can't go past here.
Go ahead.
Let him through!
- It's just awful, Marcello.
- What happened?
Tiziano!
He shot his two children
and then killed himself.
Marcello, get me inside.
I'll give your paper the pictures.
Get me inside.
- I'm a friend. I have to come in.
- One moment.
Inspector, a man here says
he's a friend of Steiner's.
Let him in.
Just him, just him.
Come in.
From floor to bullet hole: five feet.
Left wall to bullet hole: 13 feet.
No, the wife doesn't know yet.
She'll be back at 1:00.
It seems he first called a friend
and begged her
to meet his wife at the bus stop.
Rear wall to bullet hole: 16.5 feet.
Let's hear that again. Rewind it.
You're the true primitive,
primitive like a gothic spire.
You're so tall
that no voices can reach you up there.
Really? If you could see my real height,
you'd see I'm no taller than this.
Were you a friend of the family?
I was a friend of Steiner's.
- For how long? Were you close?
- Had you seen him recently?
Could you tell us about him?
No. I was his friend,
but we didn't see each other often.
I know nothing.
Nothing at all.
Ten feet.
Foggia.
Was anything unusual going on in his life?
Financial problems, anything like that?
I don't think so.
Had he ever shown suicidal tendencies?
I don't know.
All right. Please remain at our disposal.
Mondini, get the gun.
He was a cheerful man who adored his family.
His was an almost morbid adoration.
The weapon used was a new Browning .675.
It was found beside his body,
which was seated
in an armchair near the fireplace
in an unusual position.
I'm finished here.
I'll continue at the morgue.
Fine, thanks.
- Can we cover the body, sir?
- Yes.
De Angelis?
Did you get pictures of everything here?
Then let's go to the children's room.
This way.
It's time I went down
and met his wife at the bus stop.
I'll take someone from the building,
because I don't know her.
- I'll come.
- Thank you.
Let's go.
Come down to the bus stop
when you're finished.
If anyone from the station comes,
call me at the office.
Boys, a little compassion, please,
just this once.
Tell your colleagues. This is going too far.
Maybe he was just afraid.
You mean Steiner?
Had someone threatened him?
No, not in the way you mean.
Maybe he was afraid of himself...
of us all.
When's the bus due?
That's her.
Please come with me.
What's going on?
Do you think I'm an actress?
What are you doing?
- What do you want?
- Stop it! Get lost!
Marcello, what's going on?
I'm Mr. Lucenti.
I must speak with you a moment.
- Has something happened?
- Please come to my car.
There's been an unfortunate incident.
Don't be frightened.
- The children!
- Please come with us. Get lost!
Marcello, what happened?
You'll see them later. They're just hurt.
I promise you - Will you stop that?
- Hurt? How?
- Go away!
Just drive through! Break down the gate!
Out of the way!
It's all closed up.
All this way for nothing.
Wait.
Go on in, it's open.
What colors! It's beautiful!
Let's go inside.
Carlo!
Marcello's breaking in!
Watch out! One, two, three!
To Nadia, who's reclaimed her freedom...
to the annulment of her marriage...
to the annulment of her husband...
and of everything.
Thank you all.
This experience has
brought me back to my old friends
filled with every desire!
Like becoming a virgin again?
Yes. Annulment is a marvelous sensation!
You have to be married first
to appreciate it. Right, darling?
- Lucia's confessing her sins.
- I want to hear.
Put on Jingle Bells.
Are you two done confessing?
Making love in private offends me today.
Here they are!
Don't make fun. One is a senator's lover.
Wonderful!
Who invited them?
Someone's gonna murder those two
before Christmas.
Excuse me, but weren't you
once a serious writer?
I hereby announce
I've left journalism and literature.
I'm now a publicity agent,
I'm very happy to say.
A writer has to live,
but you write pure rubbish.
Listen to this:
He has a Greek profile,
yet his contemporary look reminds one
of today's most modern actor: Paul Newman.
- Marcello, you're a worm.
- Listen.
Why not admit you'd do anything
for an article about you?
You'd love me to write one.
Dear God! You'd ruin my career!
If I paid you 50,000 more a month,
what would you write about me?
- That you're Marlon Brando.
- And for an extra 100,000?
- John Barrymore.
- And a million?
First give me the money.
You're terrible! Take some lessons!
Hey, that's not funny! He's hurt!
I saw you trip him!
You're a real asshole! You invited us here.
Well, we're leaving.
Some party you'll have now!
I've never seen such boring people!
Our guest of honor is bored.
Let's entertain her.
You're right. Do a striptease.
Or isn't your intellectual's
chest sexy enough?
If you put on Persian music.
I can do a great striptease.
No, we've all seen you naked.
Oh, please!
I haven't seen you naked,
but I think the leopardess should do one.
Caterina will strip for us.
No, she's too professional!
Then I'll go eat my chicken.
If the party girl's bored,
- why doesn't she do it?
- With pleasure.
Now we're talking!
Nadia, if you really do, I'll quit smoking.
Put on Patricia. I'll turn off the lights.
Put on Patricia.
Nadia will now perform a striptease
to christen her new life.
- You have to set an example in life.
- It's idiotic!
- That's why I'm doing it.
- Here's your mink.
The guy'll be at your place
with the money in an hour.
At least not that I remember.
What did she say? I don't understand.
She asked if you like me.
That's mine! Throw it here!
You got a great deal, Marcello.
It's a beautiful car. You'll see.
Help me.
Enough! Can't you see
you're not entertaining anyone?
Stop pestering me! I'm enjoying myself.
You'll never go all the way.
You're shaking with fear.
- Just stop now.
- No. You'll see.
You shouldn't have taken your bra off first.
That should be second to last.
Right?
Wonderful!
No, don't take off your slip.
Cover up with the mink,
then peel off your slip.
Sorry, but I don't understand.
She's really going to do it.
Good for her.
Ruggero, are you serious?
Go on, party pooper. You don't deserve her.
Nadia, take the fur off.
This is it, Nadia.
We want to see.
How did her husband
ever grant her a divorce?
Beautiful, isn't she?
Marvelous! A real dish!
Riccardds coming!
The owner's here!
- You sons of bitches!
- Hi, Riccardo.
She just got divorced.
It's the least we can do.
I don't give a shit about her divorce.
And I don't want any gossip or publicity.
On the phone you said we could come. Kiss.
What idiot broke the glass?
I'm leaving for Nice at 6:00 a.m.
I want you all out in half an hour
or I'm kicking you out.
I met her in Spoleto.
- Did you call that person?
No. Guys, out in half an hour.
Who cares if you're leaving?
We're staying right here.
We're all friends. Go if you want.
Mr. Intellectual, entertain us.
I'll raise your salary.
Nadia was a good sport,
but her striptease didn't get things going.
Come on, think up something!
I have a thousand ideas. Two thousand!
I could keep you entertained for a week,
but you must do as I say.
Whatever you say.
First of all, let's close the drapes.
Let's keep this nice intimacy going.
First, I propose our American dancer
make love with somebody.
Wonderful!
I bet you've never made love,
never had a man all to yourself.
- What's he doing?
- He's just drunk.
Pleased with your little number?
- What time is it?
Besides, it's a duty we have
toward our foreign visitor.
So I'll choose for you.
Tito will introduce you
to the delights of intercourse!
Come on, show some courage.
You take care of music.
- Tito, take off your shirt.
- He's no man!
I've made a great choice for you.
Go on, make her a woman.
Meanwhile, our Tunisian beauty
will approach the lawyer,
who lives on his memories.
Anything goes!
We're leaving.
Thanks for the beautiful evening.
No, no one's leaving.
It's a long way till dawn.
You, half impotent
as an artist and as a man,
when the lights go out,
be brave and fulfill your desires!
All right.
You'll make love to Mariuccio.
Then Lisa...
who paints only to take her models to bed...
Now you've done it.
Who do you think you're entertaining?
I'll kick you out on your ass.
Who invited you here?
What the hell are you doing?
I'm going to show you a good time.
This party mustn't end.
We'll all stay inside. Someone might arrive.
Great joke! That's a new one!
And you...
you're dying to make love with me
because you can't lure anyone else into bed.
So you vent your frustration
with your pitiful songs -
I feel so sorry for you, Marcello.
That doesn't even happen
in Neapolitan melodramas!
You pig! I won't put up with that!
Ask the lady for forgiveness.
I'd like to thank all my friends
for the beautiful career they've given me.
I'd like to thank...
Who do you want to thank?
Ah, a nice chubby farm girl
from the mountains.
I bet you're from my region.
- Where are you from?
Come here. Get down.
Let's show this bunch of impotent jerks
how strong you are!
You came to Rome
to try your luck, didn't you?
If you only knew
what rotten luck I've had...
What's the matter?
Are you sick? Wake up!
Open you r eyes!
Andrea, start turning off the lights.
- What about those guarantees?
- I'm not signing anything.
- But I'm working on a movie.
- You already spent it all.
I'm not signing.
- The case has been postponed.
What's this music?
What are you laughing about?
Who turned off the lights?
- Can I get a ride?
- No, I'm not going to Rome.
Everybody out!
Darling, don't worry.
This medicine will help you.
...so I had to put the pool
at the foot of the stairs.
This girl's sick. Take her out for some air.
- Get up!
- I'm sick.
Let's pretend you're a nice hen.
I don't wanna be a hen...
I bet you're from Fano.
What are you doing to her?
I really don't care
if you don't write that article.
God, the lies you people tell here in Rome!
I'm not done with you yet. Come here.
Raise your head.
Raise your head!
Idiot!
- Want to dance?
- Yes.
That's really a man's joke.
- Let's go find that painter.
- He moved to Riccione with his wife.
- Then let's hitchhike!
- No, I want to be alone.
- I feel really down tonight.
- Me too.
- How do I look?
- Like a slut.
You were very cruel to Odette.
You know her? I left her the apartment.
Who's that idiot?
My tummy hurts.
It's daybreak.
I thought it was 2:00 a.m.
My watch stopped. What time is it?
5:15.
I have to be in court at 9:00.
- Can you drive me to Rome?
- I'm not going to Rome.
It was a nice party,
but that's enough now, you hear?
Enough ".enough".
Where are my shoes?
Caterina!
Sondra and Daniela!
Paul Newman!
- Have a nice trip, Riccardo.
- Sorry I couldn't help you.
- And now, the beautiful Nadia.
- Shall we?
- Bye. I'll call you tomorrow.
- No, I'll call you.
Bye, Nadia, and congratulations!
- Thanks. Bye.
- Good luck to both of you.
- Thank you.
And now it's the lawyer's turn.
Grand finale with the lawyer.
Why don't you do a striptease?
What's down there?
Where?
Ah, nature!
Dawn always makes me so emotional.
I looked so good all made up,
but now I feel sticky.
But what do I care? I'm quitting anyway.
But the more people retire,
the more others appear.
If two quit, ten fill their places.
By 1965 there'll be total depravity.
How squalid everything will be!
Get back!
You'll make a fortune. It's worth millions!
Guys, it's a monster!
My God!
It's alive!
It's been dead for two days.
- Is it male or female?
- What's it looking at?
Why don't we buy it?
Where did it come from? Maybe Australia.
Why Australia?
You can't even tell the front from the back.
Poor thing.
It just keeps staring.
I don't understand. I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.
- Marcello, come on.
- I'm coming.