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Ladies Book Club (2016)
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Hey! Bunny! Woman! Oh! Stop! You're not even supposed to be here! Carlyle! You think this is funny? You think this is funny? You think this is funny? No, don't! You're getting everything wet! I have company coming! Stop! You got this. You started this. You started this. You did! I'm getting you back. I'm gettin' you back... Gettin' me back by givin' me third degree burns? You purposely cut the shower off while I was still in it. I was trying to fix the kitchen sink. Yeah. You know you did that on purpose. To try to be funny. I didn't even know you were here! Then I come out and Geez is standin' here with his tongue hangin' to the floor, eyes poppin' out, talkin' about "I didn't see nothin'". Aw, well, that was an accident. All right, listen, I had no idea you was gonna run out of the bathroom naked. Who walks around naked? You do! Hey, hey, hey! Mom! Oh... It is not what you think, Mrs. Charles. Well, if it isn't what I think, then I'll be very disappointed. Here. Here, take this from me. Oh! Whew! See, that's why I don't like to use my keys, 'cause I know y'all be runnin' around here, and I was right. Stop playin'. Oh... Boy, here. Go put on some clothes, please. Thank you. Whew. Whew. You know... You two need to cut this out, and make somethin' happen. Oh, Mom. Don't start. You know I'm right. That Carlyle, he's just too fine and too nice a man to not... Oh, wait a minute. Wait. He isn't gay, is he? You gay? Mom. What? Okay. I'm done with that. F-For now. I'm just sayin', now you two have known each other since... College. A-And yous kept in touch after, and you've been livin' together for six or seven months... A year. A year! Yeah, but to help each other financially. Do you argue? No. Is he sloppy? No. Is he disrespectful when I'm not around? Mom, come on. You know Daddy taught me how to spot a gentleman. Well, then what is it? Carlyle, he's, he's leavin' in a few weeks. If somethin's gonna happen, you need to make it happen now. Mom, it's complicated. It's complicated. You know, you young people, y'all bring too much to a relationship. You know why? Got too many options. That's why I agree with some of those other cultures when they try and find a potential wife for the son, and a potential husband for my daughter. Oh, please. If that was the case, Daddy would've had me married off at the age of 12, with one of his business partner's sons, like Jack and Jill. Honey, he's, he's just looking out for your future. And you know, those aristocratic families, they do it all the time. Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember Queen Elizabeth, or the Kennedys being at any one of our holiday parties. The Springers were there. They're from Detroit. Yeah, but they're very well off, and they own a linen company that makes baby clothes out of organic cotton. The way they act, you would think they own the plantation. Bunny. Bunny, please. Mom, honestly. Dad picked my debutante, my senior prom date. He's not pickin' my husband. Look at Lavanya and Eugene. Now, she took him to your debutante ball, and her parents picked him as her escort, and they got married. Yeah, well, that was their choice. That was the family's plan. And I really never like Eugene for Lavanya. I mean, he was nice, but he was just too rigid. You see how that turned out. You see how that turned out. Yeah, poor girl. Yeah, honestly, Mom. Arranged marriages end up in divorce just as much as any other marriage. Now, I would like to have Daddy's approval of whoever I end up with, but... I have the final say. Well, I guess, I guess. I guess you're right. After all, it will the person you spend the rest of your life with, but your father and I, we just want you to have what we have, baby. And what better way than to help to pick out Mr. Right? And because we love our daughter so much. I know. Okay? Love you. Now, what about this book club? How is it? Is it like Avon, or Tupperware? Well, you know what? I actually, I saw these ladies at the coffee shop, laughing, having a really good time. And then I noticed they went into some deep conversation. And I thought, "This would be a really good way "to get the girls together once a month." And we'll talk about the book, we'll talk about our favorite parts, we'll ask questions, and then, that will springboard into some really good conversation, and just, good bonding. Uh huh. And then... maybe just segue-way into some talk about men and... sex? What doesn't? You know what? I need to call and check on the shop. Oh, no, no wait. Bunny! Bunny, unh unh. Bunny, stop! Put that phone down. You opened that boutique six months ago, and you haven't taken a day off. Okay, and this was a way to help me get my mind off the shop. I know. I know. And you already stopped by there once today, anyway. Didn't ya? Well, yeah, I had to make sure they put the dresses in the front. You see, that's why you have a staff. So they can run the shop when you're not there. Aren't you handsome? Ooh, I just love a man in upscale sportswear. So fashionable for men. You should see your father. Oh, speaking of which... When Donovan gets back, he's got a score to settle with you. Uh... Yeah, and I gotta admit, I got lucky that last round. 18th hole, par 4? Sank that birdie, one putt, and usually beats me. Usually? I thought you only played with my dad once or twice. No, we play a few times a month. I mean, we all frequent the same course, so we get a few games in. You knew that, Mom? Oh, your father, he always brags when he wins. Huh. You never told me that, Carlyle. Well, I didn't know I had to tell you every time I play golf with your father. I mean, you don't, but Dad always tells Mom. Your father's married. He has to tell me everything. Mom. Mrs. Charles, you okay? Mom, you okay? Yeah, I'm all right. I'm all right. Get the door! Get the door. You guys get the door. I'll be fine. Yo. It's Rona. Rona who? Rona! All right, you all know I gotta go, now. All right. You guys have fun. All right. Mm hm. You know you play too much. I gotta mess with you when you come here. Yeah, lookin' like one of my babies' daddys, and you gonna mess with me at the wrong time, Tiger Hood. Hey. Watch that left. She's known for that jab. Kenneth Wallace. Let me tell you. Kenneth Wallace used to run around, grabbin' all the girls booties. Yes. And then Rona and I, we didn't really know each other that well, but we were waitin' on fifth period. He walks by, grabs both of our booties, at the same time. I smack him, on the hand. And he laughs. Remember that? Mm hm. What you do, Rona? I knocked his butt out. Yeah. That's when I said, uh, "I'm hangin' with her". That's right. I'll remember that. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're not stayin' for the meetin'? Oh, no, no. Bunny doesn't want us boys, uh, up in this one. No, I want to try it out with the ladies first. I'm thinkin', since I read the book, she's just afraid that I might take over the meeting. Oh, please. Oh, then you learned something. I'm still processing it. Uh huh. Well, you still processing not being single anymore? Ha ha! Good one, Mrs. Charles. Anyway, Rona, me and the boys, we gotta, we gotta tee time in about an hour. Oh, is, um, Monte golfing, too? Yeah. Mm. Maybe he can teach me his swing. Rona! What? I'm just talkin' about a little golf. Uh, he's talkin' about golf. You sound like you tryin' to make Mon-tay your next baby dad-day. Ooh, I would for that one. Cute. I'm gonna slip myself out of the middle of this one. You ladies have a good one. You too. Hey, ladies! Hi. Um, where's your dish? Oh! It's pot luck. Oh, for real? Oh, my bad, girl. You know the Evite, it just said bring the date and time. I didn't... If you would've scrolled, scrolled down, you would've seen that it said "potluck", big as day. All right, well, next time, we gonna have it at my place, okay? Oh, no. No, you're not gettin' me with that one, this time., okay? I feel like anytime at your apartment, you want to do something, it's like a decoy, for tryin' to babysit. Remember last time? Me, Lavanya, Brittany? We were supposed to have movie night? We ended up watchin' your kids for three hours. While you went to supposedly get some food. I brought back the food. You came back with a home platter from the corner bar. Well, anyway, it was Mookie's birthday party, and I know y'all booggiebutts wasn't gonna go anyway. And my kids was good, all right? Yeah, until little Shana thought she was a beautician. My baby want to be a cosmetologist. Oh, that is so sweet. Yeah, it was sweet until she ruined Lavanya's $2000 weave. Yes. Had give all up in her hair. My baby thought she was givin' her a perm, honey. Yes! I would've permed that hinney. Mom, stop. I'm old school. I felt bad, 'cause I was the one who invited Lavanya. She definitely didn't want no kids after that. At your store opening, she told me she loved being around my kids, and she wasn't the one who said she didn't want to have 'em. You know that was all him. Truth come out when you be drinkin'. See? She's not here to defend her husband. I'm not speakin' on this. It's not my business. All right. So, ladies, what's on the menu? Uh... Oh, I forgot the sandwiches in the car. Oh, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute! B-Bunny, Bunny, Bunny. Now, you're doin' just way, way, way, way too much. I'll take care of all of this. You go, you go get the sandwiches. Okay. Okay. Okay, Ro, can you help me with the trays? Thank you. Ooh... Rona, I thought you left the door open. I thought I did. Okay. Mom? Mom, can you open the door, please? Mom! Mom, could you please open the door? Why didn't you use your key? Well, I didn't want to put the tray on the... ground. That's not sanitary. Oh! Unh-unh! Bunny! Bunny, why you got the potpourri, the Febreze, and the incense goin' at the same time, girl? Got my nostrils all confused. Ugh! Smellin' like Martha Stewart doin' her laundry in Jamaica. I didn't light that. I did not do that. Mom? Was, was that you? I don't know. Maybe Carlyle. He gets to drinkin' those protein shakes, and you know, it gets a little stinky in there sometimes. Rona, can you get that? You're supposed to ask who it is. Well, it's somebody probably comin' to see you. And what's wrong with lettin' somebody in who's been pushin' all the buzzers because her man won't let her in? Okay? Because he's upstairs cheatin' with some other chick in his apartment! That sounds like it's from personal experience. My bad, girl, I had a flashback. Geez. Ooh. Um, I'm sorry, girl. We didn't order no Chinese food. You got the wrong place. I'm Meho. You a ho? Hey, everybody, this Chinese girl talkin' about she got some Chinese food and she's givin' away free boot... Rona, that's my friend from the shop. Stop. Hey, girl. Hi. Don't mind her. Yeah, that's all right. Thank you. Well, you was the one comin' in here talkin' about you a ho. I didn't know what was goin' on. It's Meho. But my friends call me MeMe. Oh, see, MeMe. That's good, because people could get that confused. You don't remember meeting at the opening of my shop? No, no. I vaguely remember meeting Rona. But I do remember meeting this lovely lady. Hello, Mrs. Charles. Oh, MeMe! The personal trainer. Mm hm. Ooh, look at you, with your cute self. How are you? Fantastic, thanks. And how is that massive muscle of a man you were with? Oh, he was a chocolaty delight! Wait. You were with that fine young thing? So, I guess you be chasin' the brothers, huh? Actually, the brothers be chasin' me. I hear that. Well, evidently, you don't mind getting caught. So, I guess that make you a slow Meho. Rona. Well, I just, I'm sorry. I don't know that many Chinese people, okay? Neither do I. But I do know quite a few Vietnamese, like myself. Well, what's the difference? It'll probably take a while to explain it to you. Ooh... Try me. Okay. This is the world. Here's China. And here's Vietnam. And? You proved my point. Uh, MeMe. If you don't mind my asking... Anything, Mrs. Charles. Just how many years are between you and that young man? Oh, let's just say, he's over the drinking age. A sugar mama. No. I don't date broke men of any age. He has to be extremely well put together. See, the guys I date? Mm hm. They have their own businesses, and they work for the corporate world. I just prefer young because, hell, it's just somethin' about a young man wantin' you. If I can have 'em, why not? I hear that! A lot of young men approach me, too. I'm sure. Mom. Well, they do. What? Okay. What do you say? I just smile, and maybe I show 'em a little somethin'. Oh! Mom! Your father's always gettin' compliments from younger women. Mr. Charles is a very handsome man. You know, he reminds me of my first baby daddy. Except he's got a house, and a car, and a job. And a wife? No, he had a wife. So, you're a mom. Yes. A proud mother of three. That's sweet. So, how long have you been married? Is that a joke? No. I figured if you had kids, that you may be married. Well, I'm not. Okay? And I know what you're thinkin'. Just because I'm a beautiful, young black woman, doesn't make me a stereotype, if I got a baby daddy. Okay? Okay. That's a lot more information than I was asking for. And I don't see you as a stereotype. A statistic, maybe, but not a stereotype. Uh, Bunny. Was I supposed to cut her? Because she sounds like she was tryin' to be snooty and educational at the same time, and she's just got me all confused. Okay. Just, just play nice. That's all I'm asking. Just for a little bit. Can you please get the door? Thank you. Appreciate you. Mm hm. You're my friend. Uh, you're supposed to ask who it is. Really? Yes. Whoever this is, you gotta go back downstairs to the intercom so I can ask who it is. Okay. Just just open the door. Oop. Mm-mm. Oh, Lavanya. Hi, beautiful. How are you? Good. Hey, do you think you can open this for me? I chilled it earlier. It's from my vineyard in Sonoma. Yes. Yes. This is MeMe. Hi. Hi. This is my friend, Lavanya. Hi. Nice to meet you. Very nice to meet you. That's a pretty dress. Like the colors. Thank you so much. It's very beautiful. She always looks nice. Although, I'd be honored if she'd wear one of the dresses from my boutique. From time to time, maybe? Now, you know my style is traditional, well-bred chic. Mrs. Charles. Hey, Lavanya. Yeah, Bunny. You know, you don't carry that in your place, okay? So, what's that designer's name, again? Oh yeah, um, Le Plain Jane. Uh, at least I support a sister, Ms. Jackson. I feel like I haven't been in here in forever. Where'd you get this painting? It's beautiful. Carlyle. He did that. Oh, he's really gifted. It has such a Betye Saar feel to it. I love it. Yeah. It's really nice. So, how you been? I'm doin' well. I left Derwin asleep in front of the television. Dozin' off to some jazz to soothe him. Listenin' to my kind of blue. He loves Miles Davis. Aw. How is he? He's doing well. He was sick last night. His little, he had a little tummy ache. You know? Alena made a special dish that didn't sit well with his constitution. So, I just let him lie down, and watch him lick himself. Wait. Did you say "lick himself"? Yeah. It makes his tummy feel better. You let your man lick himself? Oh, no, no, no, no. He's an Italian Bolognese. Okay, now I see why I haven't been to Italy. The people over there are freaky. Derwin is her dog, boo boo. Derwin is not a dog. Derwin is a Bolognese. He's family. Eugene got him for me for our fifth year anniversary, and he's been with us for five years. By the size of that ring, I'd say you are a very lucky woman. I am. I can go on forever about that man, I tell you. Oh, no, you know, let's, let's not, uh, let's not talk about men right now. Uh, that must be... Yeah, that's Brittany. Ugh. Miss Summa-Here-She-Cum-Laude. Whew! God, does everybody in here have a PhD? Because if you don't, she's gonna make you feel like you need three of 'em. Oh, come on. There's nothing wrong with somebody helping you with your grammar from time to time. Child, the girl teaches grade school, and acts like she's the professor at Harvard. It's better than you walkin' around talkin' about conversates. I know, that's true. Yeah. She just loves education. That's it. Brace myself. Hi. Hi! Hello, everyone. I see we're all here in attendance. Fantastic. You must be Meho Nguyen. Yes. How did you know? Because I memorized it. From my contact list. Oh, good to see you. So glad you came. Rona. Darling. Hey, girl. Lavanya. Glad to see you. Hello. Good to see you. Mrs. Charles. I have some sticky notes for us to write our names down, okay? Brittany. Why do we need sticky notes? So we all know who we're speaking to. Oh yeah, we kinda already know each other. Yeah, so sit your crazy butt down. Oh, yeah. True. Um, you know, I think this is actually a good time to get started. Okay. So, I want to thank everybody for coming to our first Ladies Book Club. Thank you so much. Thank you. I'm really excited, and I hope that this isn't our last. Okay, so, we'll just jump right on in with our first book, "Know Your Man As Well As You Know Yourself". Rona, where's your book? I didn't bring it. I mean, you know, the kids, they tore out some of the pages. I read what was there, you know, the ones that weren't just tore out of the thing. I figured there may be someone without. There's always that one. So, Rona, I brought an extra. Oh, well... Here you go. Thanks. That was very nice of you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why is my name already in here? Um, you know what? Before we get into the actual chapters, does anybody have any comments about the book, in general? Okay, go ahead, Brit. I do. Okay, can you believe that I found, in this nationally published literary work, seven misspelled words, 43 comma splices, 12 dangling participles... Brittany. Brittany? We're not editing the book. We're just, we're here to express our thoughts, you know? Thoughts about the different chapters, the author's perspective, just, talk about things of that nature. Oh. So, no one noticed the subject pronoun discriminates? No one has that much spare time on their hands, okay? Spare time ain't got that much spare time. Well, I do have a favorite chapter. "How Men View Women". Oh ho ho, yes. Yes, I found that chapter very interesting myself. So, you all agree that the male gaze is just a psychological facade of his fear of tapping into his femininity? Well, my chapter was "Where the Power Lies". Yeah, I taught my baby, Bunny. I taught her where the power. I taught her about that a long time ago. Before she was even born. Preach it, Mrs. Charles. We need a mature point of view up in here. I agree with the author when he said, now, this is a male-dominated world, and women, we automatically think that, so we relinquish our power. Uh huh. But let me tell ya. I taught my baby about power before she was even born, when she was... She did. Let me tell ya. The house we live in? I want it. Power. Family reunion, hosting it. Power. Going to Europe. Super power! Now, that sounds like manipulation. I agree. A woman is supposed to rest at her man's feet. Now, that I don't agree. Yeah. Like a pet? No, not under his feet. At his feet. A man is the king of the castle. The bread winner. Emasculating him for selfish reasons usually leads to the demise of you both. Oh. Nah-uh. I believe a man should be the head of his household, but I am not going to be a second-class citizen to no man. He is to cater to me as I to him. Preach it. How you say it, givin' my man a smack-down? That's not my way of deceiving him to get what I want. Uh-uh. Lovemaking, that's what we do, as a husband and a wife. But don't get me wrong now. Don't get me wrong. If my husband needs a little nudge, mama, I pull out the bulldozer, now. But, but... My husband, he got to sway me a little bit, too, to get what he want. Big Daddy, no, he got to take care of business to get them, okay? I guess it's different between Eugene and I because we have that special connection. We're like soulmates. We always know what the other one is thinking, and we make the proper accommodations. You know, I think this is a perfect time to segue-way into a chapter I highlighted, which is "Are Men and Women Equal". Hell, no! But we know why they think they rule the world. Hey girl, I know a few who clearly know that what they got ain't rulin' nothin'. Their egos make them think they can rule the world. Okay, now that I agree with. I agree with that. But men do rule everything. I mean, they're the heroes in the movies, the president, and they can make the babies, and not even have to take care of them. That's one of the points that he makes. Honestly, and women, even if we don't see it or realize it, subconsciously, we do not see ourselves as equal to men. We don't. And until we do, we won't see a female president. But as, as for making babies... Now, they can only get what we give them. Yeah, but see, us women, we still need all that comfort, you know? Yeah. I don't know, ladies. I have a different perspective. I think women can get exactly what they need from another woman. Because they understand the void which needs to be filled. Now men, on the other hand, well, they find satisfaction in the external things. You know, the things that capture their attention, and supplements that need. Like a PlayStation. That sounds like somethin' a lesbian would say. Not a lesbian, Rona. A feminist, who believes in being empowered. Yeah, but see, you're always talkin' all that women's lib stuff, but you never talk about any man that you have actually liberated. Yes, because I want to find a man like my father. So my standards are high. But this does not include finances or accomplishments. Rather, the kind of man. I-I must say, it's been an interesting, but fun, search. There are a lot of alternatives to traditional dating. And honestly, this book has helped influence that. Really? Yeah. Some of you, like Bunny, may not agree because we've discussed it before... Oh, gosh. Oh, goodness. Are we talkin' about online dating? Yeah, that is crazy. What's wrong with that? It's unorthodox. Yeah, it's... What she said. Yeah, it's just really crazy. Look, even if you meet someone at the club, or on the street, sometimes you don't find out they're crazy until you go out with them. At least, you can look at someone's profile, email each other. You can pick some things up. Exactly. However a person deceives you, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. And truthfully, it's just, it's just not for me. It's too much. I don't, I don't, I think it's weird. Who you signed up with, Brittany? Oh, MatchDate.com, LoveConnections.com... DesperateLonelyGeeks.com. Well, how does it work? You go to a website, create your profile, list career, hobbies, and philosophies, you know, the things that people are attracted to, pay your fee, and then watch the requests come in. So you pay a fee, there are requests. So, it's like a web pimp? No, Lavanya. Well, show us something. Okay. Bunny, go get your laptop. Oh, okay. Laptop on the way. This should be very interesting. You all are in for a treat. You think so, Mrs. Charles? You think you could find a man like Mr. Charles online? I doubt it. I know I can't find a man like Eugene on an online dating site. I mean, first of all, God put us together. And secondly, Eugene would never do something so foolhardy. Okay, come on, Brittany. Let's see what you... All right, ladies, gather around. Come on, gather around. Ooh. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't want to miss nothin'. Don't worry, I'm just signing in. Oh! What does that mean? Wow. 1,000 requests? Hold on. No, no, no, no. She got 1,000 requests? Honey, well, then sign me up. All they need to do is look at this boot-tay and this thang gonna crash! Ohh, that's a cute picture. Yeah. And who is that? That's James, a.k.a. Mr. Magic. He was one of my dates from last week. Wait. "One" of them? Yeah. I did what you call a date-cation. So, I went on a date for breakfast, lunch and dinner for seven straight days. Impressive. So, you mean to tell me that you ate three times a day, for seven days straight, with a different man for every meal, for free? Yeah. Well, honey, you better just give me that computer now because, you know, me and my kids, we gonna eat all year. It's not used for evil, Rona. Brittany, weren't you worried about stalkers? Well, you did run into your borderline psychos, but I managed to weed out the possible dangerous ones. Oh, girl, the stalker I had? I had to stalk his ass back. He'd call me, hang up. So I'd call him, and hang up. He'd be sittin' in front of my house, and by the time he got up to leave to go home, I'd be sittin' in house, waitin' on his ass. Then once, he went to my job when I was on my way to his job, and we sat in the parking lot, just staring at each other, calling and hanging up. So, when did it end? When I found out he had a wife 'cause she was sittin' over there in her car, stalkin' both of us. So me and him had to take a restraining order out on her crazy ass. Oh, wow. Sheesh. So, what are these formulas in the note section here? Well, that's a record of each date. And you see, right here is date, time and details, by all the guys, with an algorithm by them, to calculate the results of my hypothesis. Hm? You know, who I would end up with. Oh... Okay. Oh, I was off by one. Well, I didn't know you needed a noble prize in physics to get a date. You don't, but you at least need to know how to read, and have a job. Hold on, now. My men do have jobs, and they can read. Well, I don't remember the classifieds, it listing, "Looking for Felons, Thieves, "Repeated Offenders, or Who Dat Watchers". Who Dat Watchers? Yeah, you know, the guys that stand on the corner, and watch cars go by, and they're like, "Who dat?", "Hey, yo, who dat?" Girl, bye. Well, Brittany, thank you for your online dating tutorial. I think you've kinda broadened our horizons. I'll be signing up. Yeah. Hey, Bunny, can you open another bottle, please? Oh, I'll get that. Excusez-moi. Yeah. You, you're not finished with that. But I'll get it. I gotcha. Hello? Hi. I'm here for the book club. Oh, um, may I ask who this is? Helema. Helema? Shoot. Uh... Give me one second. Bunny? I need to speak with you. Uh, yeah. There's been a little mistake with sending out the Evites. Oh, no mistake. Everybody's here. Except for Mary and Yvonne, but I knew they weren't coming. Yeah, but when I sent out the Evites, I accidentally added a person on my contact list from friends I knew from back in the day. Because she found me on Facebook, and gave me her email address. So, I just added her to my friends from back in the day contact list. Well, I took those emails, and then the ones that you gave me, and then I created the book club contact list. I also added a couple of people I knew from work, but I already knew that they weren't gonna come, so I just figured I'd extend the invite anyway. But could you believe that out of everyone that could've come, it was the one person that I mistakenly added to the book club contact list, from the friends I knew from back in the day contact list, well, I didn't know she was on the book club contact list, until she just buzzed in... Okay, stop, please, and tell me who you're talkin' about before you're the first of my friends I have contacted and strangled list. No, you know, nevermind... Uh oh. Because I'm gonna find out, what? Oh, shoot. Bunny. Hey, girl. Helema Jones. Don't sound so shocked. I mean, that's how everyone sounds now that I'm back in the city. Hey, girls. Actually, you know what? I'm sorry. Before I do my hugs and kisses, I'm gonna use the bathroom. Can you point me to where... Right there. Yep. Okay, great. I'll be back... You invited her? That was all Brittany. I-I-I, it was totally a mistake. I-I didn't mean it. What's wrong with her? She seems nice. What's wrong is that she used to date Carlyle and broke his heart. Broke? You mean eviscerated it. Smashed it. Incinerated it. Shredded it. Mutilated it. Snatched it out of his chest, swallowed it down with a bottle of Patron, then spit it back out again. Okay, Rona. I think we get it. And on top of that, she's never really liked me because of Carlyle. When they were dating, she always had to find a way to let me know that was her man. And then, anytime we were supposed to hang out, she would all of sudden get sick, or all of a sudden, she needed him urgently. And you didn't like her 'cause you both shared the same name. Ooh, the same name. Lucky Carlyle. So, how did you get the name Bunny? Oh, I gave her Bunny, 'cause she was our little bunny-wabbit when she was a baby. Yeah. We went to high school together, and then we went to State, and then we decided to be roommates. I had to really go by Bunny 'cause I didn't want people blaming me for all the crazy crap she was doin'. I haven't like her since high school because she dated everybody's man. What? In high school? She didn't date any of my boyfriends. That's because by the time they got to you, she had already dated 'em. Yeah, you had more rebounds than Charles Barkley. Not my Marty. He was sweet and innocent. He never pressured sex. Marty the mortician? He worked at his father's mortuary. Brittany, nobody wanted him, okay? Look, he had the cold, clammy hands. What was that we used to call him? Zombie. Zombie. Let me guess... You're talking about Zombie, a.k.a. Marty the mortician? Yeah, I slept with him. In one of his coffins. Yeah. He even lined up the bodies, to watch. Ew, creepy. Yeah, I had to let him go. Well, it sounds like you enjoyed it. Oh, I did, but he wanted to bring another female into the mix. Who? Uh, one of the dead ones. Ew. I am mortified. Mrs. Charles! You look amazing! Helema! Oh, how are you? What brings you to town? Oh, well, you know, my family still owns the first house that we have, and uh, the family that's living there is moving out. I'm moving in, getting situated, and just, you know, handling some other business. Oh... Bunny... Is, uh... Carlyle living here? Yeah. Yeah, he is. I guessed right. I mean, you were so close in college, and... there's all the pictures of you on Brittany's Facebook page. And you're still here. Still here. Yes, I am. Well, Mrs, Charles, I was told specifically by my mother to say hello to you. And to let you know that the ladies are just so pleased that you are doing so well. It was just a minor scare. How are your parents? Oh, they're fantastic. They both retired from their practices, and they're traveling, but still in Connecticut. Ah, Stanford. Westbury. Oh. Forgive me. You are The Joneses. I don't think I've seen your mother for about five years. Yeah. Yeah. Last time I saw... You was, a picture of you in that big old photo album she used to carry and bring to our regional Herald meetings. You had on a cute little cheerleader outfit, and hugged up with some football player. Hmm... That must have been the Chargers... Or maybe the, uh, Eagles. Or maybe the Dolphins. I don't know. I was doing all three. What team are you doin' now? Rona, is it? Yeah. You are Bunny's friend from high school, who used to come up to college to visit. Yes, I am. Yeah. Too bad you couldn't stay. Look, I had things to do, okay? Babies, right? Like six? Don't try me. Three. Well, sorry, I just couldn't keep track. I mean, every time I saw you, you were pregnant. Helema. You've come just in time. Bunny, here, she was getting ready to, uh, introduce the next topic to discuss. Ah! I want to discuss... I don't know where my book, oh... "The Pact". Okay. Really not one of my favorites, in particular, but okay, Mom. We'll discuss it. Well, the pact? It's settling. Yeah, but, but it's definitely fitting, Brittany. I mean, it's about a man and a woman who've known each other for quite some time. She knows him, he knows her. And they make a pact. "If we're still single after five years, "then let's just get married." Bunny, is that what you and Carlyle have? No. And Mom, who does that? Really. The Branches, from across the street. They were friends, and they found each other after 30 years. They were 80 years old when they got married. They had nobody else. I mean, they got married on a Sunday, and died on a Monday. Did the sex kill 'em? No, no. The point is, they didn't die alone. How about we talk about "The Three Fs" chapter. Football, feed him, and fellatio. Oh my. My, my, my, my. Yes. Highlighted every page. Ooh, I think it was a waste of a chapter. I mean, my Eugene despises football, and our cook prepares our food, and, uh... There are some things, ladies, let's face it, that just don't belong in your mouth. So, you've never? Oh, no. My Eugene would never look at me the same way again. Well, that's because you're not doing it right. Because if you were, his eyes would be closed and crossed. No, it just proves that you don't have to do all that to keep your significant other. Well, it's been proven that most men fall for the ones who they have shared interests with. You know, sports, habits, hobbies. That's why I bought a PlayStation, Xbox, Wii. So, you know, it's good for you to be able to beat them. 'Cause it keeps them around longer. Their egos just can't handle losing quietly. So, they start off as friends, because, you know, when you're playing together all that time, you start sharing things. But then, at a certain point, they realize that the only thing missing... is the sex. And then, you spent all that time sharing, now you know how to satisfy each other. When the time comes. I don't know, Bunny. Sounds like you and Carlyle to me. Well, you know, Carlyle always said him and Bunny have a special connection. But, you know, he couldn't detach from me. And that's where I got the PlayStation idea. Well, you know, if I'm not mistaken, word around campus is you were putting it down, and out, often. Oh, rumors. They do create popularity. Oh, you were very popular. Oh, but we both were. I mean, look at us. Together again. The two Helemas. We were roommates in college. That had to be confusing for people. No, no. They knew the difference. Especially Carlyle. Helema. Oh... It sounds like you know the book quite well. Did you study it? Oh, no. I, uh... Well, then how do you know so much about it? Well, I dated the author. Yeah. He would run things by me, and you know... Well, I date a lot of powerful men. I think you all know that. Look, come on. Let me take you on a trip, ladies. A trip through the phone. So, here is, uh, James Harden and I in Italy. Yeah, they don't call him Harden for nothing. Uh, and this is Gronkowski. You may know him as Gronk. Mm hm. Yeah, that's the sound you make. And, uh, that's us in Tunisia. Oh, my. Yeah. And uh, here we have... Oh, w-w-wait. Go back. Mm hm? Who's that? Oh. That's, uh, that's Adrian Peterson, the football player. Yeah, you're on your game. That is AP. Wait, wait. You dated him? Well, we're friends. You know what that means. Hold it. You have a category called Snakes? Oh. Is that real? Oh, very. Who, who are those guys? Friends. Why can't we see their faces? What for? Mom, stop looking. Ooh, wait, is that one crooked? If I told you who that one was, the paparazzi would be swarming this place. Yeah. Oh, oh, wait, wait, wait. Is that a sexting message that just came in? Wha, what you mean like... s-sex through texting? I mean, I don't understand. How do you, how do you do that? How does that work out? Ooh, I see. Oh, you match the words with the picture. Mm hm. Well, aren't you gonna respond? Ugh. Well, you know, this is Tim. And he does this every so often to rile me up, but I'm just so over it. You know, we've never even met in person. What? What? So we started seeing each other when I sent him a text that was meant for someone else. And uh, then we just kept talking through texts, and then he cheated on me when he sent me a text that was meant for another woman. So, I dumped his butt with a text. You see, Mrs. Charles, you can have a full-blown relationship through texts. Well, I'll be. I'm just happy you can't get pregnant through a text. Well, you'll find a way. Excuse me. Hello? Oh! He finished the whole thing? My baby is so smart. Oh, he can have the whole cookie. Mm hm. Uh-huh. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Bye, Donna. Thank you. Sorry, that was the sitter. You have a son? That's, that's wonderful. It is, isn't it? Yes. That's part of the reason I'm back in town, to introduce him. Oh, well, why didn't you bring him if you wanted to introduce him? Well, I didn't know if his father would be here. Oh, is his father... Oh, my goodness! Carlyle, what happened? I was practicing my swing, and accidentally, the golf club slipped out of my hand, and hit Carlyle in the knee. Yeah, 'cause of them greasy fries you was eatin', man. Hey, man, those garlic fries are good... Oh, come on, you, take him over there. Are you gonna be okay? Yeah, yeah. I barely felt it. Helema? Hello, Carlyle. Uh, Bunny, you didn't tell me that she was coming. I didn't know. I didn't know. I invited her, Carlyle. And I'm so glad she did. For what? To introduce you to your son. Ooh... My what? My son. Is, is this... this one of your little tricks, to get me, get back in my life? Helema, how the hell can you j-just broadcast somethin' like that on somebody? Y-You supposed to brace somebody for somethin' like this. W-Were you all just talkin' about it before I came in? No, no. Listen. I think we need a private conversation. It's a little crowded here. So... This is the number and address where I'm staying. And um... call me tomorrow. And thank Mrs. Charles and Bunny for the catch-up. Bye, boos! I need to lay down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. Well, that was an interesting book club meeting. I think Christopher will be picking me up sooner than expected. Wait, wait, wait. I-I thought your husband's name is Eugene. It was. I mean, it... It is. Christopher is my driver. Oh. Hey, uh, Lavanya, if you don't mind, I can, uh, give you a ride home. No, I'm good, Monte. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. W-Well, the least you could do is let me stand outside with you. Can't have a pretty lady like yourself standin' outside waiting alone for a ride. Okay. Great. Goodbye, everyone. Bye. Brittany, Brittany, Brittany. As smart as you think you are, you can do and say some very, very dumb things. I know. I-I wasn't thinking, Mrs. Charles, is she okay. Yeah, yeah. She's, she's okay. She just needs to be alone a sec. Mrs. Charles, is she in love with Carlyle? I ain't gonna say nothin'. Boy, help me get some of this stuff. Get it together, and help me get it down to the car. I ain't gonna say nothin'. Chapter nine, "Men Talk More Than Women". That is true. He's cute. Humph. He's a little too old for you, though. You really have me confused. What? You date young black men. And it seems, by your little sidebar comments all night, that you have a problem with that. Or at least with me. No. I have a problem with all of you. Who? Asian women. You can't be serious. Very. My father left my mother for an Asian woman, all right? He left and had four other children. What does that have to do with me? Well, I don't know too many of you, okay? So, I'm using you as a representative to curse all of you all out! Wow. You sound like a bunch of girls in my neighborhood. You're neighborhood? Yeah. Please. Look. I grew up in Bankhead. You'd never know what it's like to be Vietnamese and be called Chinese, 'cause people are too lazy to ask. Okay? And then the Chinese people, pissed at you, because how dare people mistake you for Chinese. You see, Rona, my mother... went to the States when we were chased out of Vietnam. The government put my people up in black communities. So that the white folks wouldn't have to deal with us. They gave us a little bit of money, to open up our stores, for retribution for blowing up our country. But what they didn't tell us is that it would piss the black people off because y'all was still tryin' to get your share. And every day, I had to pay for being given your share. We didn't know what you all had been through here. Nor do we ask to be scapegoats so they can find someone to blame. The white girls would call me the black girl with chinky eyes. And then the black girls would tease me because my hair was different. But then the black girls figured, "Hey, she's not going anywhere no time soon." So, they became my friends. Sounding hip doesn't make you black, Rona. I just did what my friends did. I grew up an American. I didn't know nothin' else. I was just a little American girl with chinky eyes. So, at the end of the day, I'm a woman first. So, my womanly needs outweigh my ethics on race. Tell Bunny I said bye. Oh, whoa, hey. Hey. No, I'm not. Tell Bunny I'ma call her. Okay. Excuse me. Let me get that for ya. Thank you. You're welcome. What's up, ma'am? Hey, guys. Hey. All right. Um... Looks like I'm all done here. Um, I'll be going. Take care of yourself, girl-girl. Oh, will do. All right. Toodles. She been takin' care of herself, all right. Yo, hey, she had a bunch of shorties up in here, man. Man, it's crazy. Gettin' the drink on. Need to come more often, man. Got us a little brew, somethin' up here. Give me some wine. Yeah. I had a beer. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You all right, man? Yeah, you hit me real good, though. Let me get you some ice. Have a seat there, brah. Well, you soft? What? It wasn't that bad. Damn garlic french fries almost took my leg off. On the knee, on the knee, on the knee. I'm sorry there, bud. Yeah, Monte went to walk that fine-assed Lavanya downstairs, and I went to walk that fine-assed Mrs. Charles downstairs. Chill, man. Yo, man, is she like a, a, a chain-smoker, or somethin'? Who, Mrs. Charles? Yeah. Oh, no. She better not be smokin'. I mean, she had a, she had a cancer scare last year. Why you ask? Damn. I mean, 'cause when I went down to the car, you know, I went in the trunk to put the stuff in there, I moved a few things around and she had, like, three cartons of cigarettes sittin' up in there. Like, like she was, like, tryin' to hide 'em, or somethin'. What'd she say when you saw 'em? She was inside of the car. She didn't see me. Oh, man, well... I hope she ain't smokin'. I mean, she, she's been havin' complications. Always coughin', pain in her chest. They did a bunch of tests on her, and they found that she had a... a mass on her lungs, or somethin' like that. The doctors removed it. The procedure was a success. And they even got her into therapy, to help her quit smokin'. And she assured us, promised us, that she stopped. Bunny ain't gonna take to that. For sure. No. That's messed up. Speaking of Bunny, man, you, uh, you think she mad at you for that? More disappointed than mad, I guess. You know what I mean? I was irresponsible to someone who wasn't 100% for me, you know? Yeah. Dude, you ever fantasize about Bunny? Like, you know, when you with somebody else? No. What's wrong with you, man? You don't? No! I do. You got problems. You got problems. You know, there was this chapter in the book, right? They talked about... Wait a minute. Did you say "book"? Did he just say book? You read the book? Yeah, I read the book. What's wrong with you guys? Uh-huh. All right. It was layin' around, she suggested that I read it. So I read it because I read. Okay. Uh-huh. Anyway, there was this chapter in the book called "Can Men and Women be Friends". And there were a series of questions at the end of the chapter that I just couldn't bring myself around to answer. Why not? Because they would determine if you were... You guys are asses. You guys are asses. Yo, yo, no, no, nope, find his book. Oh, there we go. Tell you what. Here we go. I'm not playin' your games, man. Oh, oh, right here, right here. I'll keep score. Here we go. All right. Uh... The list to see if you are dating your friend. All right, let's see here. Um... Oh, here you go. Do you talk every day? Mm. Yeah. U-huh. Of course. Okay. Do you ever tell each other when you're goin' on dates? Nah. Not really. But you know, we do talk about the ones we don't like. Ah, see, see? Okay. Okay. When was the last time you had a girl stay over here? I ain't goin' to that spot. All right. Does she prefer maxi pads or tampons? Maxi pads. You answered that a little too quick, brah. Way too fast. All right. The last guy she dated? What was his name? Jonah, or Ron, Mitch, somethin' like that. Brought her daisies. She, she allergic. But there was this one dude. His name was, um, Rashid Kadhir Hassan X, or somethin' like that. He was a cool, down-to-earth dude. You know? Knowledgeable, respectful. I thought they could hit it off. All right, all right. What was, what was the problem? Oh, his four wives. Oh sh... Oh, damn. All right. Let's see whatcha got. Okay. Two points for each question. With a total of... Mm. Mm. What's it say? Well, you're not datin'. Like a said. You're married. Ah, shit! Hello? It's Lavanya, downstairs. Can you let me in? Yeah, yeah. Hi. Oh my gosh. Van. What is goin' on? You, wait. Okay. Here, put your arm around me. No. I know where the couch is. You okay? Okay. All right. Where have you been? What is goin' on? Um, I read that book. The book said go out, socialize, and meet people like you, so I went out. Okay. Well, you know what? I think you might've misinterpreted what the author was meaning. Everything isn't meant for everybody, in that book. I was just listening to all the stuff you guys were talking about. You know, about connection, and havin' fun, and sex. Okay. So, I decided like, I wanted to live. I feel dead. I felt like I was dead, so I went out. And... You know, I started thinking about what would Eugene say if he knew I was having these feelings. What do you think? You know, he would say nothin'. He's dead, Bunny. He died two years ago. He's dead. It's okay. I said it. Okay, Van. All right. Listen. I know what you guys do. I can see you do it. I know you do it because you love me, you know? But I also see the way you look at each other. I saw your mother's face. I see the way you look at each other when I say his name. You don't want to upset your widow friend. I know, but listen. I went out. I went out. I went to a bar, and I met a guy. And I had drinks. And then, we went to a motel, and we had sex. Sex. And then, when it was over, he gave me his card, and he left. Then, I went back to that same bar, and I met another guy, and I went to another motel. I didn't want to get caught. And then, I had sex with him. And then I realized that I'm still dead. I died with Eugene, Bunny. No. Yes. We collapsed on that floor together, and we never came back. And you know, it's... it's hard because he was everything. He did everything for me. He was all I knew. You know... him and my parents groomed me to be the perfect wife. And you know what happens when the perfect husband dies? The perfect wife continues on, like nothin' happened. And you know what? I thought I was gonna find somethin' in those men. I thought I was gonna find somethin' in that damn book. Nothin'. I don't even, I don't have kids, I don't have a career. I don't even have a Facebook page. And you know what? I don't even know how to drive. Oh, it's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, I'm just, I'm angry. So angry. I'm angry! 'Cause he left me by myself. And I'm lonely, and I see you guys, and you have fun, and you go on dates. And I'm just by myself. I'm walkin' around here like a slave with no master, and I just feel bad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We're gonna get through this, okay? I promise you. I'm your friend, okay? And I'm not gonna let you go through this alone. All right? We're gonna get you some therapy. We're gonna get you a counselor, and we're gonna get to the bottom of everything. I promise you. Okay? But for now, I want you, I need you to get some rest. I need to learn how to drive. Well, you're gonna do that. We gonna do, we're gonna get you some driving lessons and some therapy, okay? Come on. Let me take you to my room, so you can lay down. Oh, no, no. I can go home. That's what I got Christopher for. No, are you kidding me? You are staying here. Okay? Come on. I'm gonna get up. Ready? All right. You got it? This way. Of course, I've got it. Oh, okay. Well, I'm just makin' sure, 'cause you look a little discombobulated right now. I'll get you some aspirin, and some water. I'll get, I'll get that. Don't worry about it. This way. Got you out here all barefoot. Call out if you need anything, okay? Hey. Hey. I'm sorry, did we wake you up? Oh, no, no. I can't sleep. Not with this, not with this throbbing. Yeah. And I need to get some ice, anyway. Okay, I was just gonna get some aspirin. Oh, it's not there. Where's the aspirin? I have to, okay, well, I'll take her some water first. Um, I'm sorry about, um... Helema bein' here. I don't know how that happened, honestly. I guess Brittany emailed somebody... Yeah, don't, don't even worry about it. Okay? 'Cause Helema went the wrong way, totally the wrong way with that. Period. Yeah. Are you disappointed in me? Um, if I was 18... I would say yeah, but we're grown. I know you, I know you really wanted it to work with her. I know you cared about her. Honestly, I'm sorry everything worked out like this. I want the best for you. I really do. Thank you. That means a lot. You know, I feel like she came here... I feel like she came here with... the idea to just get up under your skin. You know? Like, the way she looks in your face, a-a-and smiles, a-and tries to call you friend. It's as though she's just always jealous of you. I don't know why. I really don't get it because you two are the ones that dated, and I'm the one who hooked you up freshman year. That is right. Right? Lunch room. It was lunchtime outside in the quad. Yeah. I don't know what I saw in that girl. She was hot. Don't get me wrong, though. I was hot, too. But I do kinda remember what happened, though. She was really tryin' to get with Mike Krump, freshman week. And so, I think he walked by, and she called him over, and then she got flirty, of course, and I don't know, for whatever reason, you okay? Yeah, yeah, it's just... For whatever reason, he wanted to talk to me, and... For whatever reason? Yeah, I, whatever. And she just was actin' devastated and dramatic, and I felt guilty. And then, I saw you walk past. And I was like, "You know what? Maybe I could just "hook her up with Carlyle." And that's pretty much how it happened. I mean, we were lab partners, so I made up some story about... Forgetting to write your notes, which I thought was suspect because everyone always goes to you for notes. Right. And then, that was your excuse to come to class, to see her pretty much every day. Well, I will always appreciate that because when I was there waiting for her, acting like I wasn't waiting for her, I got my homework done. Oh, yeah. You were always drawing. Like, that's why your butt got in so much trouble in class 'cause you were just sketching all the time. Sketchin' away. But, I mean, you know, it worked out, so... Thank goodness. Yeah. Yeah. You know... You really helped me through freshman year. You were the first... first woman, other than my mother, that I shared so much of myself with. And I have to say that you're the only man that I've shared certain things with that I never thought I would share with anybody. I appreciate your point of view. I need your point of view. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, should I thank Helema? I think we both should. I can't believe that girl didn't give me no play until junior year. Crazy. That's weird. I don't... I don't get that girl. I really don't. Oh, you and me both. I don't get her. I just, I couldn't stand how people called us "the two Helemas". 'Cause we were so different. I had to nip that in the bud. I really did. I couldn't have that. And what... And what's really weird is that I didn't get with Mike because she liked him so much. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Wow. Man, this competition thing sat with her for a while. I really don't know why 'cause, I mean, she still slept with him. Really? You didn't know that? I didn't know that. You see, that's the problem with her. She's always chasin' the hot guy. Isn't there a chapter in the book about always wanting what everybody else has? You've been readin' the book. You learned a little somethin' somethin' from the book. How about it? That's funny. But you were a hot guy. What are you talkin' about? Oh, please. What are you talkin' about? I wasn't a baller, I didn't have no money. I was broke. Oh, true. What do you mean by true? You know you was broke. A little broke. But, no, you were definitely one of the hot guys. I mean, you have your athletic hot guys, and then you have your flashy hot guys, and then you have you. And you're just handsome, and intelligent, and cool, and different. All of the guys in your crew. Y'all were just some cool dudes. You guys weren't in a frat, but remember you chartered your own organization? And then the frat guys joined your organization. Brothers! To infinity! Wow. You know, I still talk to Jason and Rob. As you can see, I still hang with Monte. Yeah, y'all had some of the livest parties. Yeah, yeah. And remember, you still had time to involve yourself in community work, and social work. I don't know how you did it. And the, the Frederick Douglas statue. That really wouldn't be there, if it wasn't for you. You had a lot to do with that. We were at that all-white school with the 40% black enrollment, and then... And they had all these statues of white figures, and no blacks. That doesn't work. Right. Had to do somethin' about that. And that's what you did. You took a stand. You made a stand, and that's what women are attracted to. Trust me. You were a hot guy. Well, thanks a lot. I never looked at it that way. That's why I love you, girl. I love you, too. I really do. Now, who the hell buzzin' my house? Hello. Oh. Hi, Carlyle. It's Mrs. Charles. Hey, Mrs. Charles. Come on up. Hey, how you doin'? Come on in. Good afternoon. I don't want to disturb you, but I'm just bringin' back those bowls I took home yesterday. I told Bunny I'd drop 'em by. I'll just be a sec. Yeah, no problem. Mrs. Charles, when was the last time we talked? Yesterday. No, I mean, you know... talked talked. You need to borrow some money? No, no, no, no. I just wanna know how my play mama's doin'. That is so sweet of you. Well, hey. I'm doin' fine. I mean, things couldn't be better. Yeah? Yeah. How are you? Well, now that I know what a golf ball feels like, I'm great. Can't wait to start work. Oh, it must be a very good job for you to leave my baby daughter here all alone by herself. If I knew that Bunny needed me, I would never leave her alone. And yes, it's an awesome job. You know, I'll be creating a new video game for the next two years. And they put a bunch of really, really great graphic designers together, and I'm just so honored that they considered me one of 'em. Especially, freelancing for the last five long years. Oh, wow. You deserve it. Well, thank you. Well, you look great. I mean, you enjoying retirement? Oh, child! Am I? Oh, yeah. You been by the college lately? Well, I wanna go, but it's hard. You know, you see those students, you want to come right back out of retirement. But, oh, I just try to keep up after Donovan, do what I can for Bunny, and I mentor a few students at the Herald, but uh, for the most part, you just find yourself alone just tryin' to find somethin' to do. Well, I'm sure you're story's quite a testament to those young ladies. I don't share that with them. Only a few of the old ones know. Those girls, they look up to me. Well, that's exactly why you're, you're, you're story's so important. Life-saving. You know, I was so pissed at my mom when she died. Her pride killed her. You know, I vowed that... I was gonna learn everything about diabetes so that I wouldn't die from it. You know, you are still young, Carlyle. You don't understand. I understand. I understand that bad habits are made to be broken. Like when you were a smoker. Okay? You realized... You realized that you weren't just hurtin' yourself, but you were hurtin' your family. That was a rough time. I remember, Carlyle. We were, we were all so worried when you went into the hospital. A-and, and Bunny, she, she pulled back on the store opening, and... Mr. Charles, he cancelled all of his meetings overseas. He... He knew that there was nothing more important than losing his wife. It's a blessing that the family got through it. And just God forbid if anything like that were to happen again. You are an amazing woman, Mrs. Charles. Cancer survivor. That is a story that those young girls should hear. Hate to leave you out here, but I gotta go finish gettin' dressed. Stop. Go. I'll be all right. I'll let myself out. All right. Oh, lord. Oh. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. What you doin' home so early? Uh, my office computer crashed, so I'm grabbin' my laptop really quick. Oh. Okay, I'll talk to you later, okay? Mom. Huh? You okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm just... I'm just startin' to realize how much I love your daddy, and how much I love you, and how much y'all love me. I'll see ya later. Okay. Oh, gosh. Oh, Mom . I love you. Hey, Mrs. Charles... Oh, you're home early. Yeah. I, um, I've just gotta grab a few things. Office computer crashed. Yeah, okay. Yeah, um, Helema, she's comin' by to talk. Oh. Okay. Well, good. Uh, let me just, I'll get a few things, then I'm just gonna get out of your way, I guess. I'll get that, okay? Let me just get that. Hello? Hello? It's Helema. Hey, just one thing. Whatever you do, don't let emotions make the decision for you, okay? Helema is who she is. She's never gonna change, okay? So... I should've let her go freshman year. And I can't let her affect me anymore, so I'm not, I'm not gonna allow it. Just... Bunny. Yeah? Oh. Bunny. Were you planning on being here for this meeting? No. No, you and I have closure. Ah. Since when? Since now. Excuse me. Carlyle, you look amazing! Let's get to why we're here. Okay? Is he mine? You're not even gonna offer me something to drink? Not even a glass of wine? Red or white? You forgot I like red. Well, evidently, there's a lot that I don't remember. Well... Yes. He's yours. And if you want a paternity test, I'm fine with that. Well, you're damn right. 'Cause you kept dumpin' me and comin' back, whenever you thought whoever was better. And when you realized that they weren't, you kept comin' back to me. But you kept letting me back. That's because that's what I thought you did with people you love. I had to learn that, too. See, Carlyle, when I found out I was pregnant, we were broken up. And you were going through financial troubles, and then I moved, and... I mean, I could've had the baby and not told you, but that wouldn't be fair. You're an amazing man. And then I saw baby Carlyle, and I just, I knew I missed you, and that you just needed time. You figured that I just needed time? Well, yes. That's why this is more than just about you being his father. This is about me and you having a clean slate, and starting our lives together, as a family. You're kidding. I'm serious. Being a mommy changes you. So, what happens? What happens when our son grows up, and he's on his own? Is that when the, the old Helema returns? Is, is that how it works? Carlyle... by then, we'll have two or three more baby Carlyles. Dammit. Why now? Why now, Helema? You did it, didn't you? What? You and Bunny. What else? See, that... that's, that's always a thing with you. It's always been the thing with you. Carlyle, I've always had you. And I can still have you. Think about it. You, me, and baby Carlyle, together as one happy family. It's what you've always wanted. What I've always wanted. Mm-hm. What about you? It's what I want, too. Who was a hot boy on campus? Um, what? Who was a hot boy, when we were in school? Who did you consider the hot boy? Um... Seriously? Yeah. Um... Mike Krump, Ace, um... Grant Elliot? That's funny. That's exactly what Bunny said. So? Where do we stand? I guess I'll see you later. Why see me later when you can see me now, in your room? I think it will be better when the judge is there to tell me what my parental rights are, my financial obligations will be. Carlyle, are you seriously turning down everything I'm offering you? Didn't ask for it. Uh, leave that. That belongs to me. If you say he is, and everything in my tells me that he is, then you won't mind me keepin' it. Well, I guess I know where your heart and your head lie. You know, that's the problem with us. You don't, and never did. Lame. Oh, that was nice, everybody, but me and my husband, we gonna call it a night. It's getting late, so I'm gonna be goin', as well. You drivin' yet? Oh no, I'm still doin' my lessons, but in like in two or three months, I will be downstairs, beepin' the horn, comin' to pick you up. Aww. I like that. That's fantastic. Until then, I've got good ole Christopher. All right. Love ya. Love you, too. Hey, Lavanya, I can, uh, I can give you a ride home, if you need it. Uh, no, I'm okay. I have Christopher. I mean, you live in Westchester, right? I do. Well, I mean, it, uh, it'd be a few minutes before your driver gets here, and by that time, we'd be halfway home, and I'm already headed that direction. Plus, I got a dog-sitter for the night, so... Oh, you're a dog lover. What kind of dog? Um, Italian Bolognese. What you know about it? I have one of those. Oh, okay. Well, I just got her. You, uh, you mind givin' me a few pointers? Not at all. Okay. Well, let's go. All right. All right. Goodbye, everybody. All right, goodnight, folks. Don't go too far. Gotcha. All right, baby. I'm outta here. All right. And by the way, that is a beautiful dress you have on. Thank you. I got it from my girl's shop. Oh. Mwah! Goodnight! Thank you! MeMe? Yes? Wait? Sure. Okay. Look, um... I don't want you to think that I'm a bad person, or a racist, or anything like that. It's just... Me and my father have so many things that I just haven't addressed yet, and... when you said all that a month ago, it just really got to me. Look, it's not about an Asian person, black, white, whatever. It's about me and my father. I realize that, and... for everything that I said to you, I apologize for that. Now knowing the Rona I know, that's pretty big. I've held grudges myself, when I was young, because I was teased by black people, but my mother always told me that there are good people and bad, and that the good always outweigh the bad. When she was in Vietnam, soldiers were bombing her village. And the Americans were supposed to clear the civilians. Well, there was one they forgot. A little scared girl in a bamboo basket. Hidden. But there was one soldier who went to all the different houses, making sure no one was left. And there was one house he went to, went inside, opened up the basket, and my mother looked up, and there stood Private Merle Hollis, a black soldier. My mom couldn't pronounce his name, so she kept callin' him Meho. So now, you see, Rona, there are several reasons why I am the person I am. Except for the fact that Meho is an Australian boy's name, which I found out later. What? But it was my mom's way of sayin' thank you to Merle Hollis, for saving her life. So, apology accepted. Good. Sorry about that. It's okay. Phew! Oh, is this some book club love over here goin' on? Yes. A little bit, a little bit. Uh, nice, nice. Thank y'all for comin'. I really appreciate it. Great time, as always. Mwah! Girl... Mwah! Plus, it's early. There's some stuff to get into. Well, I hear that. So, if you want to hang, Rona, you can roll with me. What do you think? You know, MeMe, I, um, I got these kids... Oh, come on. And I need to call the babysitter. One night. And I'm gonna tell her to buckle up 'cause I'm hanging with you! There you go. Let's do it, girl. Let's do it. Let's go. All right. Hey, hey. Hey, Rona. You do saki? Ooh, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. I won't be doin' that little Asian Fready stuff, okay? I watch the internet, and I see what y'all be doin', girl. No. No. Rona, saki. It's a hot alcoholic beverage. Girl, you're so crazy. What, wait a minute... wait, who's gonna be saki-ing it to me? It's a hot, alcoholic, Asian beverage. It's a Japanese drink. Oh, okay. Well, in that case, I'm down. I didn't know what you all was talking about. Okay, but um, I've never ever had my alcohol hot, okay? On purpose. Oh, god. Get out, girl. If you don't get outta here... Love ya. See you. Bye. Oh, okay. What's, what's, uh, what's that for, Mrs. Charles? Well, in my session this week, my therapist told me to hug five people that have affected my life. Thus far, I hugged my husband, I hugged my daughter, I hugged my therapist, I hugged my doctor, and I hugged you. Don't you be no stranger. Oh, I could never be a stranger to my play mom. All right. Thank you, son. Take care. All right. We gotta get back on that golf course. Oh, we will. We will. We definitely will. Take care now. Good seeing you. Thanks for comin'. Take care of yourself now. Bye. Thank you, Daddy. Oh, you got it? Yeah, I got it. Don't worry. Mwah! Kisses. Mwah. No, darling! Have a great evening! Be safe. Bye. So, what I sayin' is that, you know, if the rest of these clowns can do a book, I know I can do a book. You know what I'm sayin'? So, wait 'til you read my, I mean, I'm not sayin' that because I'm a clown, that I could right a book. I'm just sayin' that, like, people, I got stuff to tell people... Yo! Yo, where'd everybody go? Where's Monte? Oh, he left a while ago with Lavanya. Yo, he's my ride, man. See what I'm talkin' about? Chapter one, "Flaky Friends". See? That's in my book. I'll see ya all later. Monte! Mr. Charles! One of you give me a ride home! Bunny, you good? Yeah. You mind if I chill out for a bit? Oh, sure. Yeah. That's cool. Carlyle. Put a movie in? Yeah. Yeah. The new ones are on the top shelf. Okay. Bye, Bunny. Bye. How's the knee? Oh, yeah. It's, it's good. It's much better now. When's the, um, next time you get to see little Carlyle? Uh, this week. Yeah, um... Me and Helema, we've uh, we're arranging visitation ourselves. So, I'm gonna bring him by here so he can see his Aunt Bunny. Oh, he's so adorable. Yeah. And he's very blessed to have you as a father. Thanks. Yeah. Bunny, we haven't, um, we haven't spoken since that night. I know it's because, uh, maybe you're busy with the shop, and you know, I-I'm packin'. We're both so, so busy... Avoiding it. Is that it? Yeah, we're both so busy avoiding it. That's one thing about you and me. We can talk about anything under the sun, except for you and me. I mean, don't get me wrong, though. I mean, I'm, I'm glad nothin' happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not like... Okay, we found ourselves in what could be called a... I don't know, sensual, or sexual, you know... It was intimate. Intimate setting. But that doesn't mean that you gotta take advantage of it. Right. I felt like I was breaking the trust that I have with you. Even though we've never talked about what that trust is, I think it's till there. I mean, it's like not quite a brother and sister feeling, but... Yeah. It's like somebody significant. A special man that I do love, but I'm not necessarily in love with. I don't know. I mean, I don't... I-I can't explain it. I really, I can't. I don't know if we should be tryin' to figure it out, if we should be, you know, tryin' to label it for someone to understand, put in a book. I mean, I just, you know... I think there's some things in life, special things, that you just shouldn't fight for an explanation for. The heavens, human existence, us. I'm gonna miss you, roommate. Helema Bunny Charles, my dearest friend, I love you. Carlyle Suggs, I love you, too. Hey, if we're not, if we're not married in five years, you wanna just... Nah. |
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