( people chattering )
( man chuckling )
Uh, jeez, how late
is Fotomat open?
( all laughing )
( Howard )
I do want to thank you all for your patience.
We are now obviously
ready to go.
I'm Howard Stringer,
and as president
of C.B.S. Entertainment,
it is my singular pleasure,
and a great moment for us
to be able to bring
this great star to C.B.S.:
David Letterman.
( people applauding )
I never dated Amy Fisher.
I... I... I... I fixed her car,
I helped her
with her homework,
and, that's all.
All right, thank you.
All right,
I'll take some questions,
and then, uh, Colin Powell
will be in here
and update you
on the bombing.
( all laughing )
I do want to thank C.B.S.
for their... for their support,
and... and, of course,
for their generosity.
I mean, wow,
this is a deal that would
put a smile on
Jack Benny's face,
and that's in the condition
he's in right now.
( all laughing )
Does G.E. make
the best managers for a television network?
( coughing )
( all laughing )
What was the question?
Oh, yeah. No, you know,
I don't know about that,
but they make
a darn fine toaster oven.
( all laughing )
Come on, Paul,
we got... we got to do a show.
Dave, I have a terrible case
of the hiccups.
Oh, really? You tried
holding your breath?
Everything.
( hiccupping )
I got an idea. Hold on.
What are you doing?
Here just put that
on your head there,
( hiccupping )
and breathe... breathe normally there, Paul.
Ok.
I'm breathin'.
How is that?
You, uh, feel any better?
( hiccupping )
Oh, gosh.
( hiccupping )
Sorry...
Must have been
something I ate.
IT'S BLOODY MARVELOUS.
( announcer on T.V. )
The Tonight Show.
Johnny's guest host
tonight is Jay Leno.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jay Leno!
( band playing on T.V. )
Thank you.
Wonderful, wonderful.
That's nice to hear.
Now, did you all
see the paper?
There's a survey that says
you're safer,
and now this is true,
you're safer on an airplane
than you are in
your own bathroom.
Do you believe that?
I mean, do you... do you think
that's true? I don't know.
I've never slipped
on the toilet seat and fallen 35,000 feet.
( both laughing )
You know, I mean, I never
adjusted the shower rod
and had a fireball come out
and incinerate me.
So you can't imagine...
SO, WHY CAN'T WE JUS THROW MONEY AT ONE OF THEM?
WHAT SORT OF OFFER
DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
LATE NIGHT'S MAKING
$70 MILLION A YEAR FOR N.B.C.
WHERE'S OUR BLOODY PIECE?
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN
MR. SAJAK.
OH, CHRIST,
WHAT A DISASTER.
HE'S GOT A LOCK ON EVERY
BLUE-HAIRED OLD BIDDY
WHO EVER WATCHED
WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY STATIONS
ARE CANCELING HIM FOR ARSENIO?
IT'S LIKE THEY'RE
CANCELING HIM BEFORE WE CAN.
LOOK AT THESE
FUCKING NUMBERS
WHEN LENO FILLS IN
FOR CARSON.
AND LETTERMAN.
N.B.C. HAS HIM SIGNED
THROUGH '93.
WELL...
WHAT ABOUT LENO?
N.B.C. ONLY HAS A ONE-YEAR
HOLDING DEAL WITH JAY.
THAT'S NOTHING.
HE COULD BE RIPE.
SO LET'S STEAL HIM.
I MEAN, WE CAN GIVE HIM A SHOW
NOW FOR CHRIST'S SAKES.
I'LL PUSH SAJAK OVER A CLIFF
IF WE COULD GET LENO.
THEY MIGHT FIGHT FOR HIM.
LET THEM.
THEY CAN'T FIGHT EQUALLY
FOR LENO AND LETTERMAN.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA
OFFER THEM BOTH
CARSON'S SPO WHEN HE RETIRES.
THIS IS THE BES OPPORTUNITY WE'VE EVER HAD
TO BREAK N.B.C.'S
STRANGLEHOLD ON LATE NIGHT.
OK, HOWARD.
LET'S GO STIR SOMETHING UP.
And, you know,
we can knock it out in one fell swoop.
Oh!
OH! WHOA! WHOA!
BOUNCY UP HERE.
( glass shattering )
WE GOT TO DO
A COMMERCIAL HERE, BOYS AND GIRLS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE SANDRA BERNHARD.
( audience applauding )
( band playing )
I'M HAVIN' A BLAST,
THANKS FOR HAVING ME
BACK ON, DAVE.
HOW YOU DOING?
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
THE NUMBER OF MY THERAPIST?
YOU SHOULD BE THRILLED
WITH YOUR LIFE.
THERE YOU GO.
IT WASN'T THAT BAD, DAVE.
OK, WE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE,
BUT SANDRA WAS GOOD
AND YOU WERE GOOD WITH HER.
NO, I SUCKED, MORTY.
AND THE WHOLE SHOW SUCKED
BECAUSE I SUCKED.
I DON'T... I DON'T BELONG
IN NETWORK TELEVISION.
I BELONG IN THE MUNCIE,
DRIVING GRAVEL.
YOU GOT GREAT LAUGHS.
OH, BULLSHIT. IF THAT AUDIENCE
WERE ANY DEADER,
THERE'D BE GUYS IN LAB COATS
GOING THROUGH
HARVESTING ORGANS.
THOSE DORKS AT N.B.C.
PROBABLY STEERED UP THE CROWD
WAITING IN LINE FOR
DONAHUE BY MISTAKE.
IT'S THEIR WAY
OF SENDING A MESSAGE.
WHAT MESSAGE?
THE MESSAGE.
LIKE GIVING JAY THE JOB
AS PERMANEN GUEST HOST FOR JOHNNY.
THEY DIDN'T DO
THAT TO MESS WITH YOU.
THEY DO EVERYTHING
TO MESS WITH ME.
LIKE RENTING OUT OUR
STUDIO IN THE MORNING TO MAURY POVICH.
LAURIE, I NEED SOME COFFEE.
GREAT SHOW.
YEAH.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
WH-WH-WHEN ARE... WHEN ARE WE SUPPOSED TO REHEARSE?
SHOULD I MOVE MY
CAMERA AROUND
SOME BALD WOMEN WITH
EATING DISORDERS?
WE WON'T LE THAT HAPPEN, DAVE. WE'LL DO SOMETHING.
GOSH, MORTY, I KNOW,
WE COULD BOYCOTT THE SHOW.
THEY'LL PROBABLY USE THA AS AN EXCUSE TO FIRE ME.
OH, COME ON, DAVE.
I FUCKED UP NUMBER 6...
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
IT WAS THE ONLY DECENT JOKE
IN THE WHOLE FUCKING SHOW...
IT WAS FUNNY.
IT WAS FUNNY, I WASN'T.
LET ME SEE THE TAPE.
WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE A BREATHER?
GIVE ME THE FUCKING TAPE.
( sighing )
FUCK.
( David )
OH, MAN.
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
JESUS, DO I SUCK!
OH, OH, THAT'S GOOD.
I SHOULD'VE JUMPED IN
RIGHT THERE!
( Helen )
LISTEN, YOU CHEAP, FUCKING BASTARD,
IT'S ONE LOUSY TABLE,
$10,000.
THAT'S CHUMP CHANGE.
( man )
That's extortion, Helen.
WHAT? IT'S NOT EXTORTION,
IT'S CHARITY, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
IT'S FOR PEDIATRIC AIDS.
YOU SELFISH PRICK.
Don't flatter me.
SWEETIE.
Put me down for 2.
WHAT?
2 tables.
YOU ARE SUCH A MENSCH.
Helen, do you still love me?
( laughing )
YES, I STILL LOVE YOU.
SEE, THAT DIDN' HURT VERY BAD.
When are we gonna
have dinner, honey?
I... I GOTTA GO.
I GOTTA GO, JAY'S HERE. BYE.
( laughing )
HOW YOU DOIN'?
HERE'S YOUR TICKETS.
WHERE AM I GOING
THIS TIME?
COME,
I'LL WALK YOU TO THE CAR.
OK.
THAT'S MINE.
I GOT TO KNOW MY FUTURE.
I KNOW YOUR FUTURE,
FOLLOW ME.
YOU'RE PLAYING JOE LAFFS
IN GREEN BAY, FRIDAY.
THE N.B.C. AFFILIATE
IS W.L.U.K.
GOOD LUCK, HUH?
I'M GETTING YOU IN
JUST IN TIME TO DO THE NOON NEWS.
OH, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD,
I-I'M SURE THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE
WATCHIN' THE NOON NEWS
IN GREEN BAY.
THOSE LOCAL STATIONS ARE GONNA
GET YOU THE TONIGHT SHOW.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
LOOK AT THIS.
NOT ANOTHER
GODDAMN MOTORCYCLE,
I DON'T HAVE THE TIME.
HELEN, HELEN, HOLD ON.
TAKE A SECOND.
LOOK AT THIS MOTORCYCLE.
"TO J.L.
CRANK IT ON UP AND RIDE OVER
TO C.B.S. FOREVER."
IT'S A RARE BIKE.
ANY IDEA WHAT THIS
COST THEM?
NO, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT COST,
BUT I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.
HI.
HELLO.
TABLE FOR 2?
PLEASE.
ARE YOU SURE
THIS IS THE PLACE
FOR A GOOD
CORNED BEEF SANDWICH?
YEAH.
SHE WANTED DISCREET.
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY
FROM N.B.C. WILL BE DROP...
OH, JESUS.
WHAT?
ARNIE KLEINER FROM PARAMOUN JUST WALKED IN
WITH SOME OTHER GUY.
WILL THEY KNOW HELEN?
HERE SHE COMES.
YOU SAID WE'D HAVE
PRIVACY HERE.
I JUST SAW ARNIE KLEINER
IN THE CORNER
DOWNING A THAI BEER.
OH, MY GOD,
HOWARD STRINGER.
( laughing )
RIGHT. A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, HELEN.
ROD SAID WE'D JUST TALK
A LITTLE BUSINESS OVER LUNCH.
THIS LOOKS LIKE
A LITTLE MORE THAN LUNCH.
OH, OF COURSE IT IS.
WE WOULDN'T WANT TO
WASTE YOUR VALUED TIME.
ALL RIGHT. NOW,
WE THINK THE WORLD OF JAY.
WE'VE NOTICED WHAT HE'S BEEN
DOING FILLING IN FOR CARSON,
AND WE THINK HE'S READY
TO BE A STAR, RIGHT NOW.
AND WE HAVE SOMETHING
NO ONE ELSE CAN OFFER HIM.
11:30 WIDE OPEN.
HOLY SHIT.
A DEAL MEMO ALREADY?
YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUS.
YOU... YOU TAKE THIS,
I DON'T... I DON'T WANT TO HOLD ONTO THIS.
YOU CAN GIVE JAY THE DETAILS
WITHOUT THE PAPER
IF YOU PREFER.
THE SHOW OPENS IN SEPTEMBER.
HE'LL GET $6 MILLION
TO START.
HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
$6 MILLION.
YEAH, ALL RIGHT,
I'M IMPRESSED,
BUT, UH, WE MAY BE
RUSHING THIS A LITTLE BIT.
JAY'S A LOYAL PUPPY.
HE'S GOT A THING
FOR THE TONIGHT SHOW,
LIKE EVERY OTHER COMIC
IN AMERICA.
OF COURSE.
BUT ISN'T HE STILL
THIRD IN THAT LINE,
BEHIND CARSON AND LETTERMAN?
( laughing )
NO, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
BUT I WOULD SAY THA WE HAVE SOME REASON
TO FEEL A LITTLE, UH,
IMPATIENT WITH WHERE WE ARE.
AND, UM, I'LL ADMIT I TO YOU, HOWARD, I LOVE THIS OFFER.
I'M SURE YOU DO, HELEN.
( all laughing )
COMPLIMENTS OF MR. KLEINER.
( all chattering )
THIS FEELS LIKE
THE LATE-NIGHT D.M.Z.
DOES THAT MAKE ME NIXON?
I GUESS I'M KISSINGER.
YEAH, YEAH.
WITH YOU NEGOTIATING, THAT WAR
WOULD'VE GONE NUCLEAR.
AT LEAST IN THIS WAR
WE CONTROL ALL THE WEAPONS.
OH, YEAH. WE HOPE.
HI, BRANDON.
HEY, MORT, HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
ENJOY THE EVENING.
HEY, WARREN,
WE GOT HOWARD STRINGER
HUMPING LENO'S LEG.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA TELL
THE G.E. GUYS IF WE LOSE HIM?
MY DOG ATE MY
LATE NIGHT HOST?
I MAY.
I MAY.
HELEN NEEDS A STROKING.
JAY, I HEAR HOWARD STRINGER
WANTS TO TAKE YOU
TO BERMUDA FOR
A ROMANTIC WEEKEND.
( all laughing )
HELEN.
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
FINE.
JAY, HONEY, IT'S TIME TO GO
GET YOUR MAKEUP ON.
YOUR SPOT STARTS
IN 30 MINUTES.
MANAGER AND NETWORK
NEED TO BE ALONE, I CAN TAKE A HINT.
HEY, UH, BRANDON,
WATCH YOUR WALLET.
( laughing )
HEY, DAVID.
OH, HEY. HEY, JAY,
HOW YOU DOING? HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
LISTEN,
HOW'S N.B.C. TREATIN' YOU?
GOOD, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS?
OK, I GUESS.
HEY, I SAW THAT SHOW
THE OTHER DAY WITH SANDRA BERNHARD.
OH, JESUS.
IT WAS GREAT, COME ON.
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, IT WAS SO FUNNY.
I KNOW MORTY'S DOWN THERE,
I WANT TO TALK TO MORTY.
HEY, ARE YOU GUYS
GONNA STAY AROUND?
YOU GONNA GO BACK?
UH, NO, WE... WE GOT TO TAKE THE REDEYE BACK.
I HATE THE REDEYE.
LISTEN, YOU KNOW, JAY,
WELL, I'LL HAVE
MORTY CALL YOU,
WE'LL BOOK YOU ON THE SHOW
WHEN YOU'RE NO FILLING IN FOR JOHNNY.
YEAH, WHATEVER. GOOD.
YOU KNOW ME, I'M READY,
AS LONG AS IT'S OK WITH HELEN.
AH, RIGHT, OF COURSE.
WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'LL HAVE
MORTY CALL HELEN, AND DO IT THAT WAY.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, DAVE.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, LISTEN, JAY,
CALL MORTY, ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, TELL HIM
TO CALL HELEN. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
I GOT TO TELL YOU,
I GOT A HELL OF
AN OFFER FROM C.B.S.
I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, JAY WANTS TO STAY
AND TAKE OVER WHEN
CARSON STEPS DOWN,
BUT, BRANDON,
I NEED A COMMITMENT.
HELEN, YOU'RE AS SUBTLE
AS A KNEE TO THE GROIN.
I DIDN'T HEAR THE WORDS
TONIGHT SHOW IN THERE ANYWHERE.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
YOU WANT US TO
BOUNCE JOHNNY NOW?
YOU WANT TO DEPRIVE HIM
OF REACHING
HIS 30TH ANNIVERSARY?
JUST LOOKING TO
PROTECT MY GUY.
LOOK AT HER WORKING BRANDON.
IS SHE SHAMELESS OR WHAT?
DAVID, I DON'T SEE ANY REASON
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T SAY
HELLO TO BRANDON.
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE
TO LET SOMEBODY KNOW YOU WANT THE TONIGHT SHOW.
LET'S WAVE HIM OVER.
WAVE HIM. JESUS.
YOU DON'T WAVE
HEADS OF NETWORKS.
YOU SHOULD WAVE WAITERS
AND HOOKERS AND, UH...
BRANDON.
GOOD LORD,
HOW CAN A TELEVISION SHOW
BE WORTH
THIS MUCH EMBARRASSMENT?
HEY, DAVID.
HEY, BRANDON,
HOW YOU DOING?
DAVID, I THINK I HEARD THEM
CALL YOUR CATEGORY,
BUT DON'T WORRY,
LITTLEFIELD RAN IN TO ACCEPT FOR YOU.
JOHNNY SENDS HIS REGARDS.
OH, THANK YOU.
TOO BAD HE COULDN'T COME,
THEN I COULD'VE BEEN
PHOTOGRAPHED WITH ALL OUR LATE NIGHT STARS
BEFORE THEY ALL STAR FILING FOR FREE AGENCY.
( all chuckling )
DAVID, I, UH...
I KNOW YOU WAN THE JOB AS MUCH AS JAY.
LISTEN, BRANDON, I'M NO CAMPAIGNING FOR ANYTHING.
I'M NOT... I'M NOT SAYING
YOU ARE.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WE HAVEN' FORGOTTEN YOU.
WELL, THAT'S, UH...
THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR. THANKS.
SURE.
I WAS IN... I WAS IN
NEW YORK IN JULY,
AND I STOPPED BY
TO SEE YOU,
BUT LAURIE SAID
YOU WERE IN REHEARSAL...
YEAH, NO, ACTUALLY, I WAS
LOCKED IN MY OFFICE, SOBBING.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I'LL TRY NOT TO BE
AN ANTISOCIAL JERK NEXT TIME.
AND, BRANDON, LISTEN,
I... I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT.
SURE, DAVE, GOOD LUCK.
SEE YOU.
OH, I FEEL LIKE A DADDY
WHO'S JUST GOTTEN ALL HIS CHILDREN TO BED.
( Helen )
BRANDON, YOU SHIT.
( phone ringing )
WE HAVE TO TALK.
HELEN, I'M RUNNING THROUGH
A CONTRACT NEGOTIATION
WITH THE GUYS FROM CHEERS...
LISTEN, LISTEN, I'VE HAD I WITH THIS RUNAROUND.
YOU DON'T GET BY WITH
VERBAL ASSURANCES ANYMORE.
SEE, I HAD A VERBAL COMMITMEN FROM BRANDON A YEAR AGO,
NOW HE'S GONE TO PARAMOUNT.
YOU I'M NOT SO FOND OF,
JOHN, NO OFFENSE.
YOU THINK YOU CAN PULL
THE SAME MANIPULATIVE SHI WITH ME YOU TRY ON
EVERYBODY ELSE IN THIS TOWN.
BUT YOU FUCK WITH ME
AND I'LL FUCK YOU BACK GOOD.
SEE, I DON'T HAVE
A CONTRACT WITH YOU.
I CAN MOVE JAY TO C.B.S.
WITHIN A MONTH.
THAT WOULD LEAVE YOU
WITH CARSON
AND HIS RETIREMEN HOME AUDIENCE.
SO LET'S CUT THE SHIT,
SHALL WE?
THIS HAS JUST BEEN
A BUSY PERIOD.
COME ON,
THESE THINGS TAKE TIME.
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING,
ASSHOLE.
I DON'T WANT TO
HEAR ABOUT TIME, I WANT A PIECE OF PAPER.
I DON'T KNOW WHEN CARSON
IS GONNA GE THE FUCKING MESSAGE AND QUIT.
I WANT JAY SIGNED.
HELEN, I HEAR YOU.
BELIEVE ME.
LET ME SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
GIVE ME ONE WEEK?
A WEEK'S 7 DAYS, JOHN.
TRUST ME, I CAN COUNT.
RIGHT.
( car horns honking )
( people chattering )
( man )
TAXI!
JESUS CHRIST.
OH, MAN!
HEY, MORTY.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
JESUS CHRIST.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
FROM WHAT I CAN TELL,
THERE'S NO SOURCE FOR IT.
MY GOD.
WH-WH-WHAT'S THIS
MEAN NOW, MORTY?
IT MEANS NOTHING.
IT MEANS HELEN
GOT ON THE PHONE.
I MEAN, THIS HAS TO BE HELEN.
YEAH, BUT WOULD N.B.C.
TREAT JOHNNY THIS WAY?
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED
IF BRANDON HADN' GONE TO PARAMOUNT.
I MEAN, HE HAD SOME CONTROL.
HELEN WOULDN'T PULL THIS SHI WHEN BRANDON WAS THERE.
MAYBE... MAYBE... MAYBE
THIS IS ALL N.B.C., THEIR WAY OF DEALING JAY IN.
NO, DON'T ASSUME
THESE ASSHOLES HAVE A PLAN.
IT'S THE NEW YORK POST,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
IT'S NOT N.B.C.'S STYLE.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE HOW THESE GUYS, UH,
WEASEL OUT OF THIS ONE.
( P.R. executive )
WE HAVE TO CONTROL THE RUMORS.
"WE HAVE TO
CONTROL THE RUMORS?"
YOU HAVE TO
CONTROL THE RUMORS.
SO, HOW DO WE
WORD THE RELEASE?
MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST TALK ABOU THE NETWORK'S
HUGE DEBT TO JOHNNY.
NO WORDS LIKE,
"AND WE HOPE THE KING
WILL REIGN FOR
MANY YEARS TO COME?"
NO.
OK.
HELEN'S WORK, RIGHT?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT PROBABLY CAME
FROM THE CARSON PEOPLE.
THEY KNOW THEY'RE IN TROUBLE.
THEY'RE TRYING TO SCREW YOU
BY LEAKIN' A STORY.
THEY WANNA MAKE YOU
LOOK SO FUCKING EAGER
YOU'LL DO ANYTHING
TO GET THE JOB.
I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.
YOU KNOW, I'M JUST...
JUST WORRIED ABOUT JOHNNY.
WHAT ARE YOU
WORRIED ABOUT HIM FOR?
HE DOESN'T WORRY ABOUT YOU.
I MEAN, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
I DON'T THINK
HE REALLY LIKES ME.
THERE YOU GO WITH THA "LIKE" SHIT AGAIN.
WHAT THE HELL
DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
I MEAN, HE'S NOT PICKIN'
HIS SUCCESSOR, N.B.C. IS.
YOU DON'T THINK
THEY'LL GIVE HIM A VOTE?
NO, I DON'T.
WOULD YOU LEAVE
THE CAMPAIGNING TO ME?
GO, DO YOUR FUCKING JOKES.
I WANNA BE ABLE
TO SWEAR TO JOHNNY THIS DIDN'T COME FROM US.
SO GO AHEAD AND SWEAR.
( phone ringing )
( Johnny )
Hello.
JOHNNY, HEY, IT'S JAY.
Jay?
YEAH, HOW YOU DOIN'?
I JUST WANTED TO...
JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THIS ROTTEN ARTICLE
IN THE POST.
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU,
YOU KNOW, MAKE IT CLEAR TO YOU
THAT IT DIDN'T COME FROM US.
Actually, you've been the G.E.
employee of the week,
haven't you there, Paul?
Aw, gee, Dave, I guess
I... I missed out on that one.
( audience laughing )
Uh, well, it's, uh,
it's quite an honor, Paul.
You know, kids,
why don't we find out
who... who the G.E.
employee of the week is,
uh, this week.
Right here, on our show,
we can reveal the name
of the G.E.
employee of the week.
( drum beating )
Anton, can we have a...
Here we go.
Uh, let's see who it is
this week, huh, Paul.
Warren Littlefield
and John Agoglia.
for cost consciousness
far beyond...
WELL,
THIS IS THE REASON
I WENT INTO TELEVISION.
SO MY FAMILY CAN
SEE ME BEING INSULTED
IN FRONT OF 4 MILLION PEOPLE.
HE'S GOT THE MICROPHONE,
AND WE'RE HELPLESS.
FORGET ABOUT IT.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING THROUGH
THESE RATINGS CHARTS
YOU SENT ME.
( Warren )
SO... SO YOU KNOW HOW WELL JAY IS DOING.
YEAH.
PRIME-TIME REVENUES
ARE NEXT TO NOTHING.
I'M THINKING
ABOUT ALL THE MONEY
WE'VE GO RIDING ON LATE NIGHT.
THE LAST THING WE NEED
IS A PROBLEM THERE.
WELL, WE'VE ALREADY GOT ONE.
HELEN KUSHNICK,
THE WOMAN'S FORCING THE ISSUE.
SO FAR WE'VE BEEN
ABLE TO KEEP HER IN LINE
WITH VERBAL ASSURANCES:
LENO'S IN LINE FOR
THE TONIGHT SHOW.
PLUS, WE'VE COMMITTED
SERIOUS MONEY
IF LENO DOESN'T GET THE SHOW,
$2, $3 MILLION...
BUT SHE'LL FORFEIT THE MONEY
AND GO TO C.B.S.
AND THAT COULD BE
A DISASTER FOR US.
WE'VE STILL GO CARSON AND LETTERMAN.
A LOT OF PEOPLE
BELIEVE THAT LENO
IS THE HOTTEST TALEN IN TELEVISION.
IT WOULD BE A MAJOR MISTAKE
TO LOSE JAY NOW.
ESPECIALLY SINCE JOHNNY
DOESN'T HAVE THAT LONG TO GO.
JOHN HAS NEVER SAID ONE WORD
TO ME ABOUT QUITTING.
IT MAY GET TO THE POIN WHERE WE CAN' WAIT ANY LONGER.
YOU WANNA GET RID
OF JOHNNY CARSON?
HIS RATINGS ARE SOFTENING.
ARSENIO'S GO THE YOUNGER VIEWERS.
THAT'S WHERE THE MONEY IS.
( sighing )
WE'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE
THE FUTURE IS SECURE.
IF WE GIVE JAY
A FIRM DEAL NOW,
GIVE HIM A CONTRAC THAT GUARANTEES HIM THE SHOW
WHENEVER JOHNNY LEAVES,
I THINK HE AND HELEN
WOULD GO FOR IT.
YEAH, BUT WHERE DOES THA LEAVE US WITH LETTERMAN?
HE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE.
WE'VE GOT HIM
FOR 2 MORE YEARS.
LETTERMAN'S NEVER ONCE
ASKED US
TO GUARANTEE HIM THE SHOW
IF JOHNNY QUITS.
DAVE IS STILL OUR 12:30 GUY.
WE'LL MAKE SURE
HE STAYS THERE.
ALL WE NEED TO DO NOW
IS GET JAY SIGNED,
KEEP HIM OFF C.B.S.
AND THIS SHOULD STAY
BETWEEN US, HELEN, AND JAY.
CARSON DOESN'T HAVE TO KNOW,
LETTERMAN DOESN' HAVE TO KNOW,
IT NEVER MAKES THE PAPERS.
THAT IS ESSENTIAL.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODY WRITING
THAT N.B.C. IS PUSHING
JOHNNY CARSON OUT THE DOOR.
I WANT THIS HANDLED
VERY CAREFULLY.
JOHN AND I ARE FRIENDS.
BUT WE'VE GOT TO HAVE
LATE NIGHT LOCKED UP.
IF THAT MEANS A DEAL FOR LENO,
LET'S DO IT.
( siren wailing )
( John ) JAY IS THE HOST,
THE FIRST WEEK NIGH AFTER CARSON'S LAST SHOW.
HELEN IS
THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.
N.B.C. PRODUCTIONS
OWNS THE SHOW.
NOW, OF COURSE,
NO WORD OF THIS
LEAVES THIS ROOM.
NO. NO.
OH.
HELEN GETS THIS
FAT CHECK.
I THINK, YOU COULD SAY
THIS IS THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM
COMING TRUE
FOR 2 PEOPLE, HUH?
OH, YEAH, I... I THINK, HELEN,
THEY'VE GOT US
WHERE THEY WANT US.
WELL, YOU SEE,
I WOULD'VE SAID I THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
( laughing )
( car horns honking )
( people chattering )
LET'S GIVE A BIG HAND
FOR THE STARS
OF OUR 1992 FALL LINEUP.
WELL, YOU'VE...
YOU'VE SEEN THE, UH,
THE NEW PROGRAMS
FOR OUR FALL SEASON,
AND I... I HOPE OUR AFFILIATES
AND OUR FRIENDS
IN ADVERTISING COMMUNITY
AGREE,
WE'VE PUT NEW LIFE
INTO PRIME TIME.
AND NOW THE... THE LAST SURPRISE
OF THE DAY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE KING OF
LATE NIGHT TELEVISION
SOON TO BEGIN
HIS 30TH YEAR AT N.B.C...
HERE'S JOHNNY.
THANK YOU.
THAT... THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
GEE... GEE,
WHAT A FAST-PACED AFTERNOON.
( all laughing )
YOU... YOU FOLKS MUST BE
JUST SHORT OF A COMA.
( all laughing )
YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS
GET A LITTLE AWESTRUCK
TO THINK OF THE GREAT MEN
WHO'VE GRACED THIS STAGE.
JASCHA HEIFETZ,
VLADIMIR HOROWITZ,
AND TODAY,
WARREN LITTLEFIELD.
( all laughing )
KIND OF KNOCKS THE HELL
OUT OF DARWIN'S THEORY, DOESN'T IT?
( all laughing )
YOU KNOW, JAY LENO
WHO'S NOW
THE GUEST HOST ON OUR SHOW,
IS DRIVING ME NUTS BACKSTAGE.
"HOW'RE YOU FEELING?
YOUR THYROID OK?"
YOU KNOW, I LIKE JAY,
AND HE IS VERY CONCERNED
ABOUT MY HEALTH.
IN FACT,
HE SUGGESTED I TAKE A RUN
THROUGH CENTRAL PARK
ABOUT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT.
( audience laughing )
ANYWAY, I KNOW IT'S BEEN
A LONG AFTERNOON.
I JUST WANNA SAY
THIS IS THE LAST YEAR
THAT I'M DOING
THE TONIGHT SHOW.
WHAT DID HE JUST SAY ABOU THIS BEING THE LAST YEAR?
I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW.
BUT MY LAST SHOW IS GONNA BE
ONE YEAR FROM NOW,
MAY 22, 1992.
( all exclaiming )
I JUST WANNA...
I WANNA THANK YOU.
I AM VERY GRATEFUL,
AND I BID YOU GOODBYE.
( all applauding )
WHY... WHY DIDN'T YOU...
THIS IS REAL.
I JUST SAID IT,
THE WORLD HEARD ME.
IT'S REAL.
GREAT TIE, BOB, TERRIFIC.
( audience chattering )
DID YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS, JOHN?
MR. LITTLEFIELD,
CAN I JUST ASK A QUESTION?
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK...
THANK YOU, UM, JOHNNY,
AND THANK YOU FOR COMING.
AND THE BATHROOMS
ARE DOWN THE HALL
AND TO THE RIGHT.
( reporters chattering )
WARREN,
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
I HAD NO GOD DAMN IDEA...
( John )
WE HAVE NO RELEASE PREPARED, NOTHING.
BETTY, WHY DON'T YOU...
THE PRESS IS GONNA FRY US
LIKE BACON STRIPS.
OVER THE WORLD WITH OUR
ASSES HANGING OUT.
I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING.
HE DIDN'T SAY A WORD TO ME.
WHO'S IT GONNA BE?
WHO GETS THE TONIGHT SHOW?
I'M NOT GONNA ANSWER
ANY QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW.
IS IT LENO OR LETTERMAN?
COME ON, BETTY,
WHO'S THE GUY FOR THE JOB?
STAY TUNED, EVERYBODY.
STAY TUNED. THANKS, BYE.
MR. LENO?
YEAH.
THERE'S A PHONE CALL
FOR YOU, SIR.
I'LL TAKE YOU TO
THE COURTESY PHONE.
ALL RIGHT.
EXCUSE ME,
AREN'T YOU THE DORITOS GUY?
JOHNNY ANNOUNCED
HE WAS QUITTIN' TODAY.
WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING?
I... I WAS JUST WITH HIM.
HE WENT ON LAST,
LONG AFTER YOU'D GONE.
He just dumped it on them.
He said he was doing the show
one more year and then out.
DID THEY MAKE ANY KIND OF
ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT US?
NOTHIN'.
I MEAN, THEY WERE TOO BUSY
TRYING TO PULL UP THEIR PANTS.
BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'LL COME,
THE DEAL IS SET.
WE GOT IT, JAY.
ONE MORE YEAR.
HIS LAST SHOW IS MAY 22,
OUR FIRST IS MAY 25,
MEMORIAL DAY.
GOD, I'M HAVING A HARD TIME
GETTIN' MY BREATH.
I HEAR WHA MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID:
"BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR,
YOU MIGHT GET IT."
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN,
SO WHAT?
I MEAN,
IT'S STILL A SECRET, RIGHT?
WE CAN'T SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
We've waited this long.
What difference does
another day or two make?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I GUESS,
THEY PROBABLY WAN TO TELL DAVE FIRST, YOU KNOW.
YOU'RE SUCH
A NICE GUY, JAY LENO.
WORRYIN' ABOU YOUR OLD FRIEND, DAVE?
YOU WANNA KNOW
THE REAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND LETTERMAN?
YOU HAD ME. ENOUGH.
NOW GO DO YOUR SHOW IN TAHOE,
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
( sighing )
Yes, Sparky!
( laughing )
( growling )
Oh, yes, good boy.
All right, we're gonna be
right back with a commercial.
Paul, get us out.
( audience applauding )
HEY, PETER, HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU. HOW ARE YOU?
IS JOHNNY HERE?
YES, HE'S HERE
AND HE'S READY.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
TO BELIEVE THIS. WHAT?
JOHNNY ANNOUNCED
HIS RETIREMEN AT THE AFFILIATES MEETING
IN CARNEGIE HALL.
WH-WH-WHAT DO YOU MEAN
HE ANNOUNCES?
WHEN? WHEN'S HE
GONNA RETIRE?
A YEAR FROM NOW.
ONE MORE YEAR
ON THE AIR HE SAID.
HOLY SHIT.
AND DID N.B.C. MAKE A...
NO. NO.
NO ANNOUNCEMEN FROM N.B.C.
OK, 20 SECONDS.
CAN YOU FUCKING
BELIEVE THIS?
ISN'T THIS AMAZING?
( coordinator )
5, 4, 3, 2...
Ed couldn't make it,
I happened to be
in the neighborhood,
So I... I brought you
a little something.
Did you at that?
What's that?
You're the winner of
the million dollar sweepstakes.
( snickering )
MORTY, JOHNNY ASKED ME
TO STAY ON
UNTIL THE SHOW'S DONE,
AND I TOLD HIM I WOULD.
AFTER THAT, I'M ALL YOURS.
THAT'S GREAT,
BECAUSE WE BOTH WANT YOU.
No, I, uh, I just happened
to be in town
doing something
for the affiliates.
( David )
That's right.
YOU QUIT, JOHNNY,
YOU QUIT... YOU QUIT YOUR JOB.
THAT'S THE BUSINESS
YOU CAME TO...
JESUS CHRIST,
THIS GUY IS SO GOOD.
I CANNOT FUCKING
BELIEVE WE HAVEN'T HEARD
FROM AGOGLIA, WRIGHT,
OR LITTLEFIELD.
NONE OF THEM.
MAYBE THEY LOST THE NUMBER.
SO, WE CAN HANDLE
UNPLEASANT DAVE?
OH, IT'S REAL SIMPLE.
FIRST WE SLAP HIM
AND THEN WE KISS UP.
YEAH, WELL, THERE'S ONLY
SO MUCH KISSIN' UP
I'M CAPABLE OF.
I GOT A SIGNED CONTRAC WITH THIS GUY'S NAME ON IT.
FUCK HIM
AND HIS BRUISED EGO.
MY ASS IS BRUISED FROM
SITTIN' ON A GODDAMN PLANE.
SO YOU WANT MORTY
TO SIT BEHIND THE DESK?
ALL RIGHT, FINE,
I CAN DO THAT. OK.
IS THIS GONNA WORK, PETER?
HELLO.
HELLO, GENTLEMEN.
DAVE WILL BE WITH YOU
IN JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES.
GREAT, THANKS.
CAN I GET YOU
SOME COFFEE?
PLEASE, BLACK.
YEAH, I'D LOVE SOME, THANKS.
HAVE A SEAT.
( phone ringing )
OH, GOD, THEY'RE HERE.
THEY LOOK LIKE SUCH WORMS,
I TELL YOU.
( David )
IT'S LITTLEFIELD.
YEAH, AGOGLIA'S WITH HIM.
OH, GREAT, THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
THE COFFEE IS FREEZING.
YEAH, YEAH, I CAN DO THIS.
DON'T WORRY.
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, PETER.
MORTY, SIT BEHIND MY DESK.
YOU SIT... YOU SI AT THE DESK.
I'M GONNA SIT RIGHT HERE.
AND I'M GONNA TO PUT THEM
OVER THERE.
HI, WARREN,
HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR COMING.
HI, MORTY.
AND YOU ARE?
COME ON, DAVE,
JOHN AGOGLIA.
YEAH, JOHN, GOOD TO SEE YOU,
HOW YOU DOING?
THANKS FOR COMIN'.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT OVER HERE?
DAVE,
YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE.
THE NETWORK
HAS BEEN ANALYZING
THE LATE NIGHT SITUATION.
FOR THE LAST SEVERAL YEARS
WE'VE WATCHED
JAY GROW INTO
THE ROLE OF HOST.
OBVIOUSLY, WE HAVE
EVERY REASON TO BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED,
BUT A CHOICE
HAD TO BE MADE.
AND SO, TOMORROW
N.B.C. WILL ANNOUNCE
THAT JAY LENO
HAS BEEN NAMED
THE NEXT HOST OF
THE TONIGHT SHOW.
UH, AND I'M SURE THA JAY WILL DO A FINE JOB.
UH, BUT I MUST TELL YOU
THAT WE HAVE DONE
THIS SHOW FOR 10 YEARS.
AND, UH, WE KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS SHOW.
NOW, THE BEST THING
WOULD'VE BEEN FOR ALL OF US HERE
TO HAVE GONE ON AND DONE
THE TONIGHT SHOW.
THAT'S WHAT WE
ALWAYS WANTED TO DO.
AND IT'S A REAL DISAPPOINTMEN THAT WE'RE NOT.
BUT IF IT IS
YOUR FINAL DECISION,
UH, THEN YOU CAN
CONTACT MY LAWYER.
GENTLEMEN, THIS IS
COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.
I WANT YOU TO RELEASE ME
FROM MY CONTRACT.
( John )
WHAT IS THIS?
I MEAN...
I MEAN, WHERE DOES
THIS LEAVE US, MORTY?
I MEAN, HOW... HOW CAN WE
MAKE HIM HAPPY?
YOU WANT TO KEEP HIM HAPPY?
DO AS HE ASKS.
HE WANTS THE TONIGHT SHOW.
WELL, SHORT OF THAT.
WE HAVE A PLAN
FOR ENHANCING DAVE'S ROLE
ON LATE NIGHT.
WE WANNA MAKE I A SEAMLESS 2-HOUR BLOCK
RIGHT AFTER JAY
TAKES OVER THE SHOW.
NO, NO, NO, JOHNNY
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
DAVE WANTS THE TONIGHT SHOW.
PERIOD.
WELL, I'M... I'M AFRAID
THAT JUST ISN'T POSSIBLE.
WHY ISN'T THAT POSSIBLE?
MORTY.
YOU ALREADY HAVE
A DEAL WITH LENO?
YOU DO, DON'T YOU?
LET'S JUST SAY
A DECISION HAS BEEN MADE.
A DECISION HAS BEEN MADE?
IT'S OVER. ALL RIGHT.
SO IF YOU WANNA
HELP US OUT, MORTY,
YOU TELL ME HOW N.B.C.
CAN MAKE DAVE ENTHUSED
ABOUT DOING THE 12:30 SHOW.
( chuckling )
MORTY!
( door closing )
HE'LL BE BACK.
HOLD MY CALLS, PAM.
( Pam )
OK, MR. MORTON.
OH, MORTY, UH...
NOT BAD, HUH?
NO...
NO, NO, NO, I SUCKED.
NO, YOU DIDN'T SUCK.
THERE'S SOMETHING THERE.
I'VE KNOWN THOSE GUYS.
WARREN LITTLEFIELD HAS
NEVER SEEN ME LIKE THAT.
DAVID. DAVID.
THEY THOUGHT I WAS
GEORGE PEPPARD.
IT DIDN'T WORK.
WE DON'T KNOW THAT...
WE DO KNOW, THEY JUST TOLD ME
IN THEIR OWN CHARMING,
FUCKING INIMITABLE WAY.
THEY'RE GOING WITH JAY.
AS FAR AS N.B.C.'S CONCERNED,
YOU'RE 12:30.
AND THAT'S IT?
YEAH.
THAT'S IT.
FUCK.
( Peter )
DAVID, I KNOW YOU'RE DEPRESSED,
BUT YOU HAVE TO
KEEP FIGHTING.
FIGHTING FOR WHAT?
I'M FUCKED.
I'M FINISHED,
MY TIME IS UP.
IT'S THE END OF THE ROAD
FOR, UH, T.V. BOY.
DAVID,
DON'T GET INTO THAT.
DO YOU WAN THE TONIGHT SHOW?
UH, WHY DON'T YOU ASK
IF I WANT TO PLAY
CENTER FIELD FOR THE YANKEES?
OF COURSE I WAN THE TONIGHT SHOW.
IT'S MY...
( sighing )
SINCE I WAS 10 YEARS OLD,
IT'S THE ONLY DREAM
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
ALL RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
YOU CAN'T JUST WANT IT,
YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
I HAVE DONE
A TELEVISION PROGRAM
ON THEIR NETWORK
FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO ABOUT IT?
I PUT A... A PENALTY CLAUSE
IN MY CONTRAC IF THEY DON'T GIVE ME
THE TONIGHT SHOW.
HOW MUCH?
A MILLION DOLLARS.
DAVID, THAT'S TIP MONEY
TO THOSE GUYS.
ALL RIGHT, I'M A PINHEAD,
I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS DOING.
COME ON.
NOW WHAT DO I DO?
I JUST WANT THAT SHOW.
I MEAN,
I'M ONLY REALLY HAPPY
THAT ONE HOUR A DAY
WHEN I'M DOING MY SHOW.
DAVID, YOU WILL HAVE A SHOW.
YOU'RE A TELEVISION STAR.
PEOPLE WILL WANNA HIRE YOU.
YEAH, WHO? C.B.S.?
C.B.S. JUST FIRED PAT SAJAK.
PAT SAJAK. THEIR GUMS
ARE STILL BLEEDING.
THEY DON'T WANNA HEAR
THE WORDS LATE NIGHT EVER AGAIN.
A.B.C.?
A.B.C.'S GOT TED KOPPEL ON
AT 11:30.
HE'S THE GOLD STANDARD.
I'M NICKEL-PLATING.
SO WHAT DOES THAT LEAVE,
SYNDICATION?
HO! HO! WHAT A FEELING,
CAN YOU IMAGINE
BEING SOLD BY A SYNDICATOR?
"WE GOT, LETTERMAN, OR STUDS.
YOU CAN EITHER HAVE
STUDS OR LETTERMAN."
I'M FUCKED, PETE.
LISTEN, DAVID.
DON'T ACCEP WHAT N.B.C. IS DOING TO YOU.
YOU SIMPLY CAN'T.
YOU MUST NO FOLLOW JAY LENO,
BECAUSE YOU'LL HATE YOURSELF
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
IT WILL MAKE YOU CRAZY.
BUT I'VE ALREADY
LOST THE JOB TO HIM.
WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA DO?
HOW ABOUT GETTING
AN AGENT?
NOW DON'T REJEC THE IDEA OUT OF HAND,
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL
ABOUT AGENTS.
BUT WE NEED SOMEBODY
WITH SOME POWER IN THE BUSINESS.
YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT, JESUS, AN AGENT?
AN AGENT'S WHAT YOU
PULL OFF THE BOTTOM
OF YOUR SHOE
AFTER A BASEBALL GAME.
THEY'RE JUST GONNA
BOOK ME IN TAHOE
WITH TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN.
LISTEN, DAVID,
I HAVE AN IDEA.
DAVID. PETER. MIKE OVITZ.
PLEASE COME IN, IT'S WONDERFUL
TO HAVE YOU HERE.
PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
DAVID, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU REMEMBER THIS,
BUT YEARS AGO, WHEN YOU WERE
WITH WILLIAM MORRIS,
AND I WAS STILL
AN AGENT THERE,
WE ACTUALLY ME VERY BRIEFLY.
UH, JEEZ, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU REMEMBER THAT.
WHAT I REMEMBER IS,
YOU WERE THE FUNNIEST GUY
IN THE ROOM.
IN FACT, I... I DON'T THINK
WE GOT MUCH ACCOMPLISHED
THAT DAY.
MICHAEL, MAYBE WE SHOULD
TELL YOU A LITTLE BI ABOUT DAVID'S CIRCUMSTANCES.
PETER,
I KNOW DAVE'S CIRCUMSTANCES.
AND SO I KNOW
WHY YOU'RE HERE.
DAVE IS A STAR OF
SUCH COMPELLING STATURE
THAT FRANKLY,
IT MAKES ME PERSONALLY ANGRY
HE FINDS HIMSELF
THIS ABUSED.
WE PRIDE
OURSELVES HERE AT C.A.A.,
IN DEVELOPING
A CAREER PLAN FOR OUR CLIENTS
THAT PROTECTS THEM
AS MUCH AS IT ENRICHES THEM.
DAVID HAS SE SUCH AN INCREDIBLY HIGH PROFESSIONAL STANDARD,
AND YET HE IS GOING
DISTURBINGLY UNREWARDED.
THAT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
IT'S SIMPLY BAD
BUSINESS PRACTICE.
OBVIOUSLY,
WE HAVE AN INTENSE INTERES IN ESTABLISHING A BUSINESS
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, DAVE,
AND WITH YOU, PETER.
FRANKLY, WE HAVE
WORKED OU A CAREER PLAN FOR DAVID
AND IT INCLUDES
SECURING EVERYTHING
FOR DAVE THAT HE WANTS.
EVERYTHING.
OF COURSE, THAT MEANS
AN 11:30 TELEVISION SHOW.
DAVE WILL BE OFFERED
AN 11:30 SHOW
AND HE WILL BE OFFERED I BY EVERY NETWORK.
THE GEOMETRY OF
THE DEAL WILL BE FAR LARGER.
THE STUDIOS WILL BE IN,
THE SYNDICATORS,
THE FULL RANGE OF
THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.
WE SHALL FRAME A DEAL
THAT WILL MAKE YOU
ONE OF THE GIANTS.
AND IF YOU GIVE US
THE PRIVILEGE OF
WORKING WITH YOU,
C.A.A. WILL TAKE CARE
OF EVERYTHING
YOUR TALENTS DESERVE
AND YOUR SPIRIT DESIRES.
( bell tolling )
WATER?
HUH?
( laughing )
OH, MY GOD!
( laughing )
JESUS, THAT WAS LIKE HAVING,
AS IF IT WAS LIKE HAVING
A MEETING WITH THE... THE...
WITH THE GODFATHER.
THE... THE GODFATHER.
( both laughing )
( car phone ringing )
HELLO?
( Helen )
Hi, Warren, good morning.
THERESA TOLD ME
I'D FIND YOU IN THE CAR.
GOOD MORNING, HELEN,
HOW ARE THINGS?
WELL, I'VE HAD IT WITH
THE CARSON PEOPLE,
TRYING TO GE ANYTHING OUT OF THEM.
THEY WOULDN'T PU JAY ON THE SHOW, THEY WOULDN'T PASS THE BATON.
PASS THE WHAT, HELEN?
PASS THE BATON.
I HAD THIS GREAT IDEA.
I THOUGHT JOHNNY SHOULD SAY
GOODBYE FRIDAY,
LEAVE HIS DESK,
TAKE HIS HAND-HELD MIKE,
walk over to our studio,
HAND IT OVER TO JAY
RIGHT ON THE AIR,
PASS THE BATON.
AND YOU SUGGESTED
THIS TO WHOM?
PETER LASSALLY.
IT WAS LIKE I PEED
ON HIS SHOE.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I THINK
THEY MIGHT WANNA FINISH ON THEIR OWN TERMS, HELEN.
YOU... YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY
OF TIME FOR YOUR IDEAS.
( Helen )
We sure will starting Monday.
NOW, I WANNA TALK ABOU THE AD AGAIN.
YOU KNOW,
WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS, HELEN,
AND... AND WE CAN'T BUY AN AD
FOR JAY IN FRIDAY'S PAPER
BECAUSE WE'VE ALREADY BOUGH A FULL PAGE AD THERE
TO SAY GOODBYE TO JOHNNY.
WHY CAN'T N.B.C.
BUY A FULL PAGE AD
TO WELCOME JAY
TO FACE JOHNNY'S AD?
BECAUSE, AS I TOLD YOU BEFORE,
THE PAPER'S DOING
IT'S OWN FULL PAGE OF STORIES,
SALUTING JOHNNY ON THE PAGE
OPPOSITE THE AD,
AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO
CROWD THA WITH A "WELCOME JAY" AD.
THAT'S IT,
END OF STORY, HELEN.
NO, IT'S NOT THE END OF STORY.
I'M TELLING YOU,
THAT AD'S GOING IN ON FRIDAY.
IF N.B.C. WON'T BUY
THE FUCKING THING,
I'LL PAY FOR IT MYSELF,
BUT THAT AD IS GOING IN.
NO, IT ISN'T, AND IT'S NO GOING TO BE YOUR MONEY
AND YOU'RE NOT DOING I BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.
WE-WE-WE'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
WE'VE LISTENED,
AND WE'VE MADE A DECISION,
AND THAT DECISION IS FINAL.
I KNEW I COULD
EXPECT SHIT LIKE THIS
FROM A DICKLESS WONDER
LIKE YOU.
WELL, FUCK YOU, HELEN.
FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE
YOU RODE IN ON.
YOU'RE WRONG,
WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.
YOU CLOSED JAY'S CONTRACT,
DIDN'T YOU?
YOU'RE OUT OF
YOUR FUCKING MIND.
BUT I GO THE FUCKING SHOW, ANYWAY.
I CAN SEE THAT THIS MAN
IS EMBRACED BY THIS NETWORK...
IT'S YOUR ONLY
NATURAL TALENT, WARREN,
FUCKING UP.
ENOUGH, IT'S OVER, DONE.
( phone buzzing )
( laughing )
( people laughing )
( crickets chirping )
( Johnny )
So, this is it.
I am one of the lucky people
in the world
because I got to do something
I've always wanted to do,
and I've enjoyed
every minute of it.
And I can only tell you,
it's been an honor
to come into your homes
and let me entertain you.
And I hope when I do find
something that I want to do,
you will still
invite me into your home
as you always have.
I bid you a very
heartfelt goodbye.
( audience applauding )
( cheering )
( whistling )
( Jay )
IS THIS WHERE YOU WANT ME TO STAND?
I MEAN, I ALWAYS STAND
RIGHT HERE.
WHERE THE FUCK
IS BILLY CRYSTAL?
AND WHY HASN' HE ARRIVED YET?
STAND UP STRAIGHT,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
YOU'RE THE HOST OF
THE TONIGHT SHOW.
SO, JAY, UH,
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH, YOU KNOW ME.
YEAH, MR. STRESS.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE READY
TO TAKE A NAP.
MAYBE I WILL.
I WANNA... WANNA
GET IT OVER WITH.
YOU KNOW,
I THINK WE SHOULD LOSE THE SECOND PEROT JOKE.
LISTEN, JAY, DON'T YOU THINK
IT'D BE APPROPRIATE
TO, UH, SAY SOMETHING
NICE ABOUT JOHNNY
EARLY IN THE SHOW, YOU KNOW?
THAT WASN'T MY DECISION.
YEAH, BUT STILL, I MEAN...
BOB WRIGHT? HIM I GUESS
I HAVE TO TALK TO.
( woman )
Go ahead.
HI, BOB. SO NICE OF YOU
TO CHECK IN TODAY.
THANKS, HELEN.
I JUST CALLED TO WISH
JAY WELL TONIGHT.
I'M SURE HE'S GONNA
HAVE A GREAT SHOW.
OH, THANKS.
I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN
TO MAKE SURE THAT HAPPENS.
I'M SURE YOU ARE. LISTEN.
HELEN, I DID HAVE
ONE OTHER THOUGHT.
WHAT'S JAY GONNA DO
TO THANK JOHNNY?
WE'RE NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR WHY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
OK, UH, THE NEW SHOW
IS GONNA BE
ENTIRELY DIFFEREN FROM THE OLD SHOW.
WE DON'T WANNA LIKE BEHOLDEN
TO JOHNNY'S OLD AUDIENCE.
GET THAT OUT HERE.
EVERY COMIC KNOWS
YOU SALUTE THE LAST GUY
TO GET MORE
APPLAUSE FOR YOURSELF.
I MEAN, THAT'S KISS UP STUFF,
JAY DOESN'T DO KISS UP.
I THINK IT'S
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, HELEN.
I... I... IT BOILS DOWN TO
SIMPLE POLITENESS.
I WOULD REALLY LIKE FOR YOU
TO GO DOWN THERE
AND TELL JAY TO SAY
SOMETHING LIKE,
"I WOULDN'T BE HERE
BUT FOR JOHNNY."
NO, I'M NOT GONNA GO TO JAY
ONE HOUR BEFORE
A LIVE BROADCAS AND TELL HIM TO
INSERT SOME TRIBUTE
TO JOHNNY CARSON.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
BUT I APPRECIATE
YOUR GOOD WISHES,
AND I'LL TELL JAY
YOU CALLED.
( phone buzzing )
( male announcer )
From the N.B.C. Studios in Burbank,
The Tonight Show,
with Jay Leno.
Featuring Branford Marsalis,
and The Tonight Show band.
Tonight, Jay welcomes
comedian, Billy Crystal.
And musical guest,
Garth Brooks.
And now,
Jay Leno.
( all applauding )
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.
I GOT OFFICIAL NOTICE
FROM C.A.A.
"ALL FUTURE BUSINESS ACTIVITY
FOR DAVID LETTERMAN
WILL BE HANDLED THROUGH
MICHAEL OVITZ'S OFFICE."
HE HIRED OVITZ?
WHAT, IS HE TRYING
TO GET SPRUNG?
HE'D HAVE TO
HIRE GOD FOR THAT.
WELL, LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS.
DAVE DIDN'T HIRE MIKE OVITZ
TO GET A 5-YEAR DEAL OUT OF US
TO STAY AT 12:30,
THAT'S NOT A BIG ENOUGH MOVE FOR HIM.
NOW THIS ONLY WORKS
IF HE GETS 11:30 FOR DAVE.
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING, WARREN.
DAVE CAN BRING
MACHIAVELLI BACK FROM THE DEAD,
IT STILL DOES NO DO HIM ANY GOOD.
I MADE THIS DEAL.
WE'VE GOT FULL PROTECTION.
WHAT IS HE GONNA DO?
OVITZ, HUH?
PUT HIM ON
TELEVISION IN VENEZUELA?
COME ON.
THAT'S FUNNY.
( Lee )
THIS LETTERMAN CONTRACT HAS CLAUSES IN I A PRISONER WOULDN'T HAVE.
HOW THE HELL DO WE
GET HIM OUT OF IT?
GIVE ME ALL THE BAD NEWS.
WHATEVER DEAL WE MAKE
THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO MATCH,
AND THEY CAN TAKE A FULL YEAR
TO MATCH WHICH MEANS
THEY COULD KEEP HIM
OFF THE AIR IF THEY WANT.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING
YOU'D HAVE IN A DEAL
FOR A SPORTS ANNOUNCER
ON SOME LOCAL RADIO STATION.
GETS WORSE.
N.B.C. HAS FIRST NEGOTIATING POSITION.
WE CAN'T EVEN TALK A DEAL
WITH ANYONE BUT THEM FOR 18 MONTHS.
NO OFFERS, NOTHING.
OK, SO WE DON'T NEGOTIATE.
WE CAN STILL TALK
TO PEOPLE, RIGHT?
SURE WE CAN TALK,
WHAT THEN?
THEN WE SET UP PITCHES.
WE CAN'T PITCH
LETTERMAN AROUND, MIKE, N.B.C. WOULD CHALLENGE IT.
NO, NO, NO, WE DON'T PITCH
LETTERMAN TO ANYBODY.
THEY PITCH THEMSELVES TO US.
WE REVERSE THE PROCESS.
( Lee )
AND IT'S LEGAL, TOO?
YES.
WE CAN'T STOP SOMEBODY
FROM TALKING TO US.
PARDON ME.
( people chattering )
ROD.
HOWARD.
OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON.
YES, I MADE THE PLANE
IN 14 SECONDS.
I'M GLAD YOU MADE IT.
WE NEED YOU.
ALL THE HEAVYWEIGHTS
ARE COMING.
I HEARD EISNER'S GOING
TO PITCH DISNEY HIMSELF.
REALLY? I WISH THEY'D MADE I CLEARER EARLIER
THAT THIS WAS A TRUE PITCH.
MORTON CALLED ME YESTERDAY
AND TOLD ME THEY'D SEE ME HERE.
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
I KNEW I HAD TO COME.
ALL I HAD WAS THIS OLD SUIT.
THEN I GET ON THE PLANE
AND REALIZE I HAD NO BLOODY CUFF LINKS.
PAPER CLIPS.
I'M JUST AFRAID
LETTERMAN WILL SEE THEM
AND CONCLUDE LARRY TISCH
IS A BIGGER TIGHTWAD THAN G.E.,
WHICH ISN'T FAR WRONG.
( men chattering )
HI, RON.
UH, GENTLEMEN, I'M SORRY,
WE ARE UNDER A BIT OF A TIME CONSTRAINT,
SO I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THAT WE'RE HERE BECAUSE
WE WANT TO GET ACQUAINTED
WITH HOW YOU DO BUSINESS
AND TO SEE HOW DAVE
MIGHT FIT IN WITH YOUR PLANS.
I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE
THAT THIS IS NOT A NEGOTIATION.
IT IS, FOR WANT OF
A BETTER WORD, A PROCESS.
SO, HOWARD, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SPEAK FIRST FOR C.B.S.?
DAVID, I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE,
UH, AN APPRECIATION FOR THE HISTORY AND TRADITION
OF BROADCASTING.
MUCH OF THAT TRADITION
HAS BEEN WRITTEN BY C.B.S.
EVEN IN ENGLAND
WE KNEW JACK BENNY,
AND LUCY, AND GLEASON.
NOW, DOES DAVID LETTERMAN
FIT THAT TRADITION?
( clapping )
LIKE A GLOVE.
THE POINT IS,
THE C.B.S. OF PRESEN CAN GIVE YOU
WHAT YOU WANT, DAVID.
AFFILIATE STRENGTH,
STRONG MANAGEMENT,
EXCELLENT PROMOTION,
AND, YES, WE HAVE
SPACE AVAILABLE AT 11:30
EVERY WEEKNIGHT.
AND WE'RE A NETWORK.
WE'RE WHAT YOU WANT, DAVE.
WE'RE A HOME.
MICHAEL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.
YOU HAVE A YOUNG AUDIENCE,
WE'RE THE YOUNG NETWORK.
WE'RE ALSO
THE ONLY ONES CAPABLE
OF OFFERING YOU
A START TIME OF 11:00 P.M.
THAT WILL GIVE YOU
THE JUMP ON MR. LENO.
HI, ROBERT,
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR COMING.
A.B.C. HAS ALWAYS
BEEN THE NETWORK FOR THE YOUNG VIEWERS.
WE KNOW HOW TO REACH
THAT AUDIENCE AND DELIVER IT TO YOU.
I'M NOT GOING TO
SAY HERE TODAY
WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO
ABOUT NIGHTLINE, BUT...
HI, ALAN,
THANK YOU FOR COMING, I APPRECIATE IT.
WE'LL BUILD
THE ENTIRE SYNDICATION OPERATION AT COLUMBIA
AROUND DAVID LETTERMAN
AND LATE NIGHT.
WE EXPECT WE COULD
LAUNCH NATIONALLY
WITH A LINEUP OF STATIONS
AS STRONG AS ANY NETWORK'S.
( David )
UH, WELL, THAT SOUNDS GREAT, BOB.
UH, ALAN...
WHATEVER.
( laughing )
HI, BRANDON.
HOW ARE YOU?
I APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU. MORTY.
AT PARAMOUNT,
WE'VE PROVED WITH ARSENIO,
WE ALREADY KNOW HOW TO MAKE
LATE-NIGHT WORK IN SYNDICATION.
I THINK IT'S A PERFECT MATCH.
ARSENIO
FOLLOWED BY LETTERMAN.
I'd follow the example
of their nominee:
don't inhale.
( sighing )
LISTEN TO THIS OLD FOOL.
ON AND ON. AND ON. AND ON.
( people applauding )
IT'S GETTING CLOSE TO 11:00.
THE LOCAL NEWS
WILL START LATE.
GET WARREN ON THE PHONE.
WE RESCHEDULE
OUR FUCKING LIVES TO DO A LIVE SHOW
SO JAY CAN FOLLOW UP
THEIR GHASTLY CONVENTION COVERAGE
WITH SOME NEW JOKES.
THEN THEY WON'T LE US ON THE GODDAMN AIR.
MOTHERFUCKERS IN NEWS
FUCKING US AGAIN.
WARREN,
THEY'RE LETTING THIS GO ON.
HE'S NOT GOING TO
FINISH BY 11:00.
I SWEAR TO YOU,
I'M SENDING MY AUDIENCE HOME,
IF YOU DON'T GE THIS OVER ON TIME.
NO, I'M NOT LOSIN' IT.
YOU SAID YOU HAD
THIS UNDER CONTROL.
( people cheering )
LOOK, A PAUSE, RIGHT THERE.
THEY COULD'VE CUT HIM OFF.
GET ME GARTNER IN HOUSTON.
GOD DAMN IT!
IT'S 11:00 P.M.
IN THE EAST RIGHT NOW.
( man )
MR. GARTNER, PHONE FOR YOU.
HELEN KUSHNICK ON THE LINE.
YEAH, GARTNER HERE.
YOU PROMISED ME
YOU'D BE OFF BY 11:00, YOU SHITHEAD.
I'M GOING LIVE TONIGH SO WE CAN GET SOME PAY-OFF
FROM YOUR HORSE SHI CONVENTION COVERAGE.
I'M ACCOMMODATING YOU
BY GIVING BROKAW AIRTIME WITH JAY.
YOU GET THIS GASBAG REAGAN
OFF THE AIR NOW,
OR I'M NOT USING
BROKAW TONIGHT.
I DON'T GIVE
A SHIT IF YOU USE BROKAW TONIGH OR ANY OTHER
NIGHT, LADY.
AND LET'S GE SOMETHING STRAIGHT.
I AM THE PRESIDEN OF N.B.C. NEWS.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
WITH WHAT I DO.
I'M TAKING YOU OFF
THE AIR THIS TIME, YOU POMPOUS ASS.
THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON
WHO CAN TAKE ME OFF THE AIR. BOB WRIGHT.
I'LL GIVE YOU HIS NUMBER,
CALL HIM.
I DON'T NEED TO CALL
BOB FUCKING WRIGHT.
I'LL SEND MY AUDIENCE HOME
AND THEN YOU CAN CALL HIM
AND EXPLAIN WHY
THE TONIGHT SHOW WASN'T ON THE FUCKING AIR.
BECAUSE THE NEWS ASSHOLE
COULDN'T GET A HORSESHI SPEECH OFF ON TIME!
SEND THEM HOME.
GET THEM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
HELEN, IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?
CA-CAN YOU DO THIS?
HEY, WHO THE FUCK MADE YOU
THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER?
YOU DO THE FUCKING JOKES.
I RUN THE FUCKING SHOW.
I'VE MADE THE DECISION.
THEY FUCKED US, SO NOW THEY DON'T GET A SHOW.
GET THESE FUCKING PEOPLE
OUT OF HERE NOW.
THERE IS NO SHOW
FOR THEM TO SEE!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WE HAVE, WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL,
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
RIGHT NOW.
HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING
THE CONVENTION COVERAGE?
I COULD'VE BEEN A DOCTOR.
WELL, IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
WE'RE RUNNING
A LITTLE LATE.
BUT I THINK
WE'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
THE SHOW SHOULD START,
I THINK, AROUND 11:00...
THAT'S GREAT, WARREN,
BUT I WANTED TO...
WOULD YOU HOLD
THAT THOUGHT?
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL.
WHAT... WHAT...
WHAT... WHAT THE HELL?
THAT SHIP HAS SAILED.
THERE'S... THERE'S NOBODY HERE.
JESUS CHRIST.
WHAT, SHE SEN THE AUDIENCE HOME?
WE DON'T HAVE
A TONIGHT SHOW?
YOU KNOW,
I'VE ALREADY SOLD THIS THING TO ADVERTISERS. CHRIST!
SHE KILLED
A SCHEDULED SHOW!
OUR LEVEL OF TOLERANCE
WITH HELEN KUSHNICK IS COMPLETELY USED UP.
SO IS OURS.
THAT WOMAN CANCELED
THE TONIGHT SHOW
WITH NO AUTHORIZATION
WHATSOEVER.
WE HAD LESS THAN
HALF AN HOUR TO GET THAT REPEA OR WE WOULD HAVE
GONE DARK.
SHE IS COMPLETELY
OUT OF CONTROL.
THAT'S BECOME APPAREN TO EVERYBODY NOW, BOB.
THE PROBLEM IS,
WHAT WE DO ABOUT IT?
IF WE MAKE
A MOVE ON HELEN NOW, JAY COULD BE INJURED.
MAYBE IRREPARABLY.
THE GUY SEEMS TO BE TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON HER.
THAT'S HIS PROBLEM, NOT OURS.
IT'S OURS IF JAY
WALKS OFF THE SHOW.
AND THE RATINGS
HAVE BEEN SOLID.
I HATE TO TAMPER
WITH THE SHOW. MAYBE...
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUS LIMP ALONG FOR A WHILE.
YEAH, AND WAIT FOR HER
TO SELF-DESTRUCT.
SHE WILL, SOON,
THE WAY SHE'S GOING.
THEN IT WON'T BE
AN ISSUE WITH JAY.
AND WE WON' HAVE TO PAY HER OFF.
I THINK IT'S MORE APPAREN THAN EVER BEFORE
THAT WE SHOULD
KEEP OUR OPTIONS OPEN WITH LETTERMAN.
IF YOU TWO WANT TO LIMP ALONG
WITH THIS SITUATION FOR NOW,
THAT'S YOUR CALL.
BUT AT SOME POINT,
AND IT'S GETTING TO BE SOON,
IT'S GOING TO BE MY CALL.
( door closing )
I'd just like to say
thank you to all of you
for this wonderful tribute.
It has been one of the most
memorable nights of my life.
Thank you.
Thank you, Rupert.
Thank you, everyone.
Your generosity
has been greatly...
EXCUSE ME. GOOD NIGHT.
( people chattering )
MAYBE IT'S TIME
FOR US TO TALK, BOB.
YOU HEARD ABOUT KUSHNICK?
WELL, I WON'T GET IN
THE MIDDLE OF WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO ABOUT KUSHNICK
BUT, UH, IF YOU THINK
IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS
ABOUT DOING
SOMETHING WITH DAVE,
I HAVE A FEW SUGGESTIONS.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR THEM.
WELL, I THINK
IT'S IMPORTANT...
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
HI.
I THINK IT'S IMPORTAN FOR N.B.C.,
IF YOU'RE REALLY SERIOUS
ABOUT KEEPING DAVE,
TO START CREATING
SOME GOODWILL.
THERE'S ENOUGH ANIMOSITY
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP TO START A SMALL WAR.
TO MY MIND,
IT'S ALL BEEN STUPID AND UNWARRANTED.
THANK YOU.
I'M ALL FOR GOODWILL.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?
BOB, WE'RE PREVENTED
FROM PURSUING OFFERS FOR DAVID.
BECAUSE WE'RE REQUIRED
BY N.B.C.
TO NEGOTIATE WITH THEM FIRST.
BUT THAT CLAUSE
ONLY SERVES TO ENSURE
THAT DAVID WILL NOT LISTEN
TO ANY INITIAL OFFERS YOU MIGHT MAKE,
GENEROUS AS THEY MAY BE
BECAUSE NATURALLY
HE'S GOING TO WANT TO TEST THE WATERS ELSEWHERE.
SO WE CAN ALL PLAY THIS GAME
OR WE COULD JUS LOOSEN UP THE CHAINS A LITTLE BIT.
HOW?
YOU CAN ALLOW US TO SOLICI OTHER OFFERS OPENLY.
AFTER ALL, YOU STILL RETAIN
THE MATCHING RIGHTS.
SEEMS LIKE WE'RE CONCEDING
AN AWFUL LOT FOR THE SAKE OF GOODWILL.
MAYBE,
MAYBE YOU COULD OFFER
SOMETHING IN RETURN.
OUR SALES DEPARTMENT TELLS ME
THAT WE'VE SOLD
THE LETTERMAN SHOW TILL THE END OF JUNE.
BUT, AS YOU KNOW,
DAVID'S CONTRACT IS UP APRIL 2.
SO, IF WE DON'T RE-SIGN HIM,
WE'LL HAVE TO
RETURN THAT MONEY.
UNLESS...
( both chuckling )
UNLESS WE GIVE YOU
A 3-MONTH EXTENSION.
OK, ALL RIGHT.
SO THAT'S THE DEAL.
WE GIVE YOU 3 MONTHS,
AND YOU FREE US UP TO NEGOTIATE.
DO YOU,
DO YOU THINK
DAVID WOULD SEE THAT AS A GESTURE OF GOODWILL?
I BELIEVE I CAN
ASSURE YOU THAT HE WOULD.
( laughing )
GOOD.
HELLO, HOWARD.
MIKE.
LISTEN, WE'RE READY
TO TALK SERIOUSLY NOW.
( woman )
Robert Morton on 3.
MORTY, HOW ARE THINGS
IN NEW YORK?
( Morty )
New York is great.
It's great to
talk to you, too.
I'M SURE YOU'RE QUITE BUSY
WITH THE SHOW.
YEAH, I'M DAMN BUSY.
SO WHAT'S UP?
UH, YOU'VE PROBABLY BEEN
TOO BUSY TO REALIZE
YOU'VE DOUBLE-BOOKED
ONE OF OUR GUESTS.
APPARENTLY, YOU'VE GO ROGER DALTREY IN THE SAME WEEK WE'VE GOT HIM.
Now I'm sure this is just
an oversight by your staff,
BUT I THOUGH I'LL JUST LET YOU, UH, KNOW THE WAY WE WORK THINGS.
WE ALWAYS HAD
THIS "GENTLEMEN'S AGREEMENT" WITH JOHNNY...
MORTY, HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED
I'M NO GENTLEMAN?
WELL, HELEN, IT'S JUST THA THE RECORD COMPANY
IS TELLING US YOU'RE TRYING
TO FORCE DALTREY
INTO CANCELING
HIS APPEARANCE WITH US.
I MEAN,
HE'S OUR GUEST, HELEN.
HE IS?
WELL, LET ME HELP YOU
OUT HERE, MORTY.
YOU HAVE NO POWER WITH N.B.C.
TO BACK YOU UP ON GUESTS.
YOU REALLY THINK N.B.C.'S
GONNA BACK YOUR SHOW OVER MINE?
Your guy was the loser,
remember?
THAT'S A CHEAP SHOT, HELEN.
( chuckling )
YOU CAN EXPECT MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE
WHAT'S GOING ON
AT THE NETWORK.
YOU'RE HELPLESS.
YOU REALLY OUGHT TO HAVE ME
DO YOUR NEXT CONTRACT FOR YOU.
YOU'RE MAKING BUPKIS
NEXT TO ME.
YOU KNOW,
I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.
I REALLY DID.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I WILL FIGHT YOU ON DALTREY
AND EVERY GUEST YOU TRY TO STEAL.
OOH, GOOD LUCK,
MIGHTY MOUSE.
( sighing )
( woman )
It's Kushnick on one.
HELEN.
KENNY, I'LL GET RIGH TO THE POINT.
WE SEE TRAVIS' BILLBOARDS
ALL OVER TOWN, WE WANT TO BOOK HIM.
GEE, THAT'S GREAT, HELEN.
THAT'S REALLY NICE.
WHEN DO YOU WANT TO...
WE WANT HIM THIS WEEK,
WHEN HE'S HERE FOR THE CONCERT.
( Ken )
Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
HE'S ON ARSENIO ON WEDNESDAY.
YEAH, I KNOW.
MY BOOKERS TOLD ME.
SO, CANCEL IT.
ARSENIO'S OVER WITH,
HE'S IN THE TOILET.
HIS ADVERTISERS
ARE DESERTING HIM.
BY THE END OF THE YEAR,
THERE WON'T EVEN BE AN ARSENIO.
HE'S ON THE AIR NOW,
AND WE'RE COMMITTED THERE.
I GUESS
YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME.
LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU.
IF YOU WANT TRAVIS ON
THIS SHOW EVER AGAIN,
YOU BETTER BREAK
THAT DATE WITH ARSENIO.
HELEN,
I THINK YOU NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT ME.
I MEAN, I DON'T RESPOND
WELL TO THREATS.
Look, maybe I can offer
you something else.
We got a movie of the week
coming up we need to promote
WITH KENNY ROGERS,
TRAVIS, AND NAOMI JUDD.
WHAT IF I COULD GET THEM ALL
ON THE SAME SHOW...
EXCUSE ME,
THIS AIN'T MERV GRIFFIN.
WE DON'T DO
FUCKING THEME SHOWS, YOU DUMB SHIT-KICKING HICK.
LET ME BREAK THE NEWS TO YOU.
NOT ONLY IS TRAVIS TRIT NOT GOING TO DO THE TONIGHT SHOW EVER AGAIN,
BUT YOU AND I WILL BE
IN THIS TOWN A LONG TIME.
WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER,
AND WE'LL NEVER TALK AGAIN.
IT'S YOUR FUCKING LOSS
AND THE RECORD COMPANY'S.
( birds chirping )
KEN, THE BOOKING OFFICE
FROM LENO JUST CALLED.
TRISHA YEARWOOD'S APPEARANCE
HAS BEEN CANCELED.
TRISHA YEARWOOD
HAS BEEN BOOKED ON LENO FOR MONTHS.
I MEAN, HOW CAN HELEN GET AWAY
WITH THIS CRAP?
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT!
GET ME ROBERT HILBURN AT THE L.A. TIMES.
BRACE YOURSELF, WARREN.
KEN KRAGEN HAS GONE
PUBLIC ABOUT HELEN.
HOLY HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE.
( Warren )
THIS IS IT.
EVEN JAY CAN SEE
SHE'S TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
( chuckling )
INDEPENDENT VERIFICATION.
OOH, OOH.
( John )
HELEN HAS ONE OPTION.
SHE ACCEPTS THIS REDEFINITION
OF DUTIES OR SHE'S OFF THE SHOW.
( Helen )
"CAN'T BOOK GUESTS."
I DON'T DO THAT ALREADY,
WE HAVE BOOKERS FOR THAT.
"CAN'T CANCEL GUESTS."
I'VE NEVER CANCELED A GUEST.
NO MATTER WHA THE FUCKING L.A. TIMES SAYS.
"CANNOT TALK TO THE MEDIA."
WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF. WHO NEEDS THAT?
THIS IS NO REDEFINITION
OF MY DUTIES.
IT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN
DOING ALL ALONG.
AND IF YOU SIGN THIS,
WE'LL HOLD YOUR FEET TO
THE FLAME ON EVERY ISSUE.
WHEN... WHEN THEY PU JOHN SUNUNU OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE,
EVERYTHING FELL APART.
YOU GUYS JUST WANT ME TO PROVE
I CAN BE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL?
WOULD ANY OF THIS BE PULLED
WITH A MALE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER? BULLSHIT!
WELL, OK,
I CAN BE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?
TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF.
STOP FUCKING WITH ME, WARREN.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.
YOU'VE MADE
A MESS OF PRIME TIME.
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T MEASURE UP
TO THE JOB BRANDON DID.
SO THIS IS ALL
YOU CAN DO TO TRY TO
SAVE YOUR OWN ASS
IS TO COME AFTER ME.
DID YOU KNOW
THEY'RE TALKING TO DON OHLMEYER FOR YOUR JOB?
AND KERRY McCLUGGAGE?
SO GO FUCK YOURSELF, WARREN.
I MEAN, YOU'VE HAD
A LOT OF PRACTICE AT THAT, RIGHT?
HELEN.
( door closing )
SHE'LL NEVER MAKE I AS A DIPLOMAT.
IF YOU LOVE HER,
GET HER OUT OF HERE. SHE NEEDS HELP.
WE ALL NEED HELP.
THE NUMBERS ARE STILL GOOD, ISN'T THAT WHAT'S IMPORTANT?
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE APPROACHING DISASTER.
HELEN HAS PUSHED TOO FAR.
THE WHOLE TOWN IS
RISING UP AGAINST HER.
IT'S NOT AS EASY AS YOU THINK.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
HELEN MADE ALL
THIS HAPPEN FOR ME.
EVERYTHING. YOU KNOW
WHAT I WAS DOING BEFORE I MET HELEN?
I WAS WORKING A STRIP CLUBS, YOU KNOW.
I WASN'T GOING TO BE
ON ANY TELEVISION SHOW.
AN AGENT TOLD ME
I HAD A FACE THAT WOULD SCARE SMALL CHILDREN.
LOOK AT ME,
I'M THE... I'M THE HOST OF THE TONIGHT SHOW.
HELEN KUSHNICK GOT IT FOR ME.
AND SHE COULD
LOSE IT FOR YOU, TOO.
GREAT.
( mumbling )
17 YEARS IS AN AWFUL LONG...
( sighing )
HER SON DIED OF AIDS,
YOU KNOW.
THE HOSPITAL GAVE HIM
A BAD TRANSFUSION, A 3-YEAR-OLD BABY.
THAT WAS A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY.
HER HUSBAND
GETS COLON CANCER, HE DIED A YEAR AFTER THAT.
SHE HAD A MASTECTOMY.
JERRY KUSHNICK ON HIS DEATHBED
ASKED ME TO TAKE CARE OF HER.
I RECOGNIZE
YOU HAVE INTENSE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS.
YOU HAVE EVERY REASON
TO FEEL LOYALTY TO HELEN.
BUT WE'RE PAST THAT.
NOW, I WAS A PSYCHOLOGY MAJOR
IN COLLEGE,
AND WHAT JOHN AND I
ARE DOING WITH YOU NOW,
WE WOULD HAVE TO CALL
AN INTERVENTION.
WHAT YOU SEE AS LOYALTY
TO A WOMAN WHO HAS SUFFERED DEEPLY,
WE SEE AS
A FORM OF ADDICTION.
NOW SHE CANNOT CONTINUE
TO PRODUCE A TELEVISION SHOW
IN THIS CONDITION.
HELEN IS EITHER
GOING TO TAKE YOU DOWN,
OR YOU ARE GOING TO
SEPARATE FROM HER.
BUT SHE IS NO GOING TO TAKE ME DOWN.
SHE IS FIRED.
IF WE HAVE TO,
WE'LL BAR HER FROM THE LOT.
( exclaiming )
( stuttering )
WHAT IF... WHAT IF I WERE TO
WALK OUT WITH HER?
IF YOU CAN'T SEPARATE
FROM HELEN, IT'S A BIG MISTAKE.
I REGRET IT,
BUT WE HAVE CHOICES TO MAKE,
AND THE CHOICE I HAVE TO MAKE
IS TO TELL DAVID LETTERMAN
THAT IT'S TIME TO TAKE
OVER THE TONIGHT SHOW.
I... I SUSPECT THA PETER LASSALLY AND DAVID
COULD BE IN BURBANK
ON 24 HOURS NOTICE.
YOU GUYS WOULD
DO THAT TO ME?
I WOULD ABSOLUTELY DO THAT,
THAT'S HOW STRONGLY WE FEEL.
I NEED A COMMITMEN FROM YOU, JAY.
WILL YOU BE
AT WORK TOMORROW?
( exhaling )
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THA IF I DON'T COME TO WORK
I'M GOING TO BE FIRED?
I'M NOT SAYING THAT EXACTLY.
BUT IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN?
THAT I'M GOING TO BE FIRED
IF I DON'T SHOW UP FOR WORK?
JAY, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOME
LEGAL JUSTIFICATION
FOR BREAKING WITH HELEN?
IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION.
JUST TELL ME.
IF I DON'T COME
TO WORK TOMORROW, ARE YOU GOING TO FIRE ME?
YES, I GUESS WE'RE...
WE'RE SAYING THAT.
YOU GUYS CAN
LET YOURSELVES OUT.
AGOGLIA HANDED ME
THIS WHEN I CAME IN.
THEY'RE FIRING ME.
I TOLD HIM YOU'D
NEVER STAND FOR THIS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO ABOUT IT?
ISSUE A STATEMEN BACKING ME.
THEN WE JUST GO ON
WITH THE SHOW.
JUST LIKE THAT?
AREN'T YOU STILL FIRED?
NOT IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT IT.
THEY'LL NEVER LET YOU GO.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS THREATEN TO QUIT.
THEY'LL CAVE,
THEY'VE GOT NO BALLS.
YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY TOLD ME?
THEY TOLD ME THEY'D FIRE ME
AND BRING IN DAVID. THAT'S WHAT THEY TOLD ME.
OH, BULLSHIT.
IT'S NOT BULLSHIT.
THESE GUYS HATE LETTERMAN.
ALL WE GOT TO DO IS
STAY STRONG, HONEY.
NO. YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING IS
ALL OUT OF CONTROL NOW...
HEY, HOLD IT.
WHAT?
DON'T YOU GIVE ME
THIS SHIT, TOO. NOT YOU.
WHO DO YOU THINK PULLED YOU
OUT OF THOSE SHITHOLE CLUBS?
WHO GOT YOU ON TELEVISION,
ON LETTERMAN?
I REMEMBER.
YOU, WHO WASN'T BLONDE,
WHO WASN'T FROM THE MIDWEST.
15 YEARS AGO, THIS TOWN,
THE CARSON PEOPLE,
THEY WOULDN'T LET YOU
PLAY ON THEIR FIELD.
SO I HAD TO MOVE THE GAME.
SORRY, ASSHOLES,
THE GAME'S OVER HERE NOW.
I MOVED THE GAME.
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK
FORCED CARSON OUT,
SO YOU COULD GE THE BEST FUCKING JOB IN COMEDY?
FORCED CARSON OUT,
JOHNNY QUIT.
SURE HE QUIT.
BECAUSE HE COULDN'T TAKE THE HEAT ANYMORE.
I GOT THE AFFILIATES
ON YOUR SIDE.
I GOT THE NETWORK TO
KISS YOUR ITALIAN ASS.
I GOT PAGE ONE OF
THE FUCKING NEW YORK POS TO BURY THAT FOSSIL CARSON,
ALL FOR YOU!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU GOT PAGE ONE OF THE POST?
YOU TOLD ME
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT STORY.
OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE,
GROW UP.
YOU LIED TO ME?
WE'VE ALWAYS PLAYED
THE SAME GAME.
YOU NEVER WANT TO
KNOW WHAT I'M DOING FOR YOU
SO YOU CAN BE
MR. NICE GUY.
"BOOKING WAR,
WHAT DO I KNOW?
HELEN HANDLES THAT,
I DO THE JOKES."
YOU JUST WANT ME
TO KEEP SERVING YOU STEAKS.
YOU NEVER WANT TO KNOW
HOW I'M SLAUGHTERING THE COW.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU LIED TO ME.
WE NEEDED THE STORY.
IT HELPED US.
I DID IT FOR YOU!
I CALLED JOHNNY.
I TOLD HIM IT DIDN'T COME FROM US.
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME
THAT IT DIDN'T COME FROM US.
I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU HAD ME LIE TO JOHNNY CARSON.
BIG FUCKING DEAL,
SO GO TO FUCKING CONFESSION.
I GOT A SHOW TO DO, HELEN.
( Helen )
GOD DAMN IT!
( screaming )
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JAY, HONEY,
LET'S GET THIS IRONED OUT.
WE CAN WORK
SOMETHING OUT WITH N.B.C.
NO, THEY WANT YOU OUT.
SO DO I.
WHAT ABOUT TAKING
CARE OF ME AND MY KID?
YOU SAT THERE ON
JERRY'S DEATHBED.
YOU SAID "I'LL TAKE CARE
OF YOUR WIFE AND DAUGHTER." I HEARD YOU SAY THAT.
I DID SAY THAT, I DID,
AND I MEANT IT THEN.
BUT NOW, HELEN, YOU ALMOS COST ME THIS JOB.
YOU DON'T NEED THIS JOB.
LISTEN,
I'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE.
I GUARANTEE US A JOB,
$25 MILLION.
WE CAN WALK OUT OF HERE.
GOODBYE, HELEN.
DON'T YOU LEAVE ME,
YOU TWO-FACED BASTARD!
WHAT DO YOU... WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO?
WHAT DO YOU WANT...
YOU WANT TO BREAK THIS?
YOU WANT TO BREAK THIS!
IT'S BROKEN.
( woman )
Warren Littlefield's office.
YEAH, IT'S JAY,
IS HE IN?
Sure.
( Warren )
Jay?
YEAH, WARREN,
YOU GOT TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS.
Absolutely.
HELP ME.
I'M MOVING FORWARD WITH YOU.
I'M DOING THE SHOW.
Great.
SHE'S NO LONGER
THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.
I'M NO LONGER IN BUSINESS
WITH HELEN KUSHNICK.
( car honking )
I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME!
WE GOT A GREAT SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT!
( audience cheering )
( audience applauding )
( chattering )
CAN YOU GUYS COME
IN HERE, PLEASE?
HEY, EVERYBODY,
COME ON IN HERE.
I JUST HAVE A FEW THINGS
I WANT TO SAY.
IT'LL JUST TAKE...
IT'LL JUST TAKE A FEW MINUTES, OK?
GREAT SHOW TONIGHT,
FIRST I SHOULD SAY THAT.
SO I... I JUST, UH, WANTED
TO JUST TAKE A FEW MINUTES
TO APOLOGIZE FOR
ALL THE CRAZINESS
THAT'S BEEN GOING ON
AROUND HERE THE PAST FEW MONTHS.
I... I LISTENED TO HELEN
AND IT WAS A MISTAKE.
AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT,
AND I'M SORRY FOR IT.
SO PLEASE STAY WITH ME.
I'LL TRY AND MAKE IT UP
TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU,
AND LET'S JUST KEEP DOING
THE BEST SHOWS THAT WE CAN DO. ALL RIGHT?
( all applauding )
SO TO YOU, I THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
( man )
WAY TO GO, JAY.
( woman )
YOU'RE GREAT, JAY.
( woman )
WE'RE BEHIND YOU.
( cars honking )
( whistling )
WHAT A PLACE.
OH, MY GOD,
THERE'S MORE FRUIT IN HERE!
IS IT SCURVY?
CAN YOU SEE I ON MY SKIN?
UH, PETE, HAVE A SEAT,
AND TAKE THAT SILLY RUG OFF, WILL YOU?
MORTY, FOR GOD SAKE,
STRAIGHTEN YOUR TIE, THIS ISN'T A TRACTOR PULL!
( both laughing )
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. LET'S GET THIS THING STARTED.
THESE ARE SUMMARIES OF
ALL THE OFFERS DAVID HAS ON THE TABLE.
THEY'RE ALL IN
THE SAME RANGE, $12 TO $14 MILLION A YEAR
DEPENDING ON HOW WELL YOU DO.
WE ALSO HAVE A COUPLE
OF THOSE OVERSIZED SYNDICATION OFFERS
LIKE THE $50 MILLION
FROM VIACOM.
AH, LISTEN, SYNDICATION
GIVES ME THE, UH, WILLIES.
I'M NOT, UH,...
HE WANTS A NETWORK.
NOW, A.B.C. PASSED
BECAUSE WE WOULDN' ACCEPT MIDNIGH AFTER NIGHTLINE.
FOX IS...
WELL, FOX IS FOX.
THEY'VE ABOUT THREE-QUARTERS OF A NETWORK AT BEST.
SO THAT LEAVES US WITH C.B.S.
SUDDENLY OUR OPTIONS
ARE NARROWED.
LISTEN,
THE GOOD NEWS IS, DAVID,
THAT C.B.S. HAS
REALLY STEPPED UP.
THEY'RE OFFERING YOU $12.5,
BUT THAT WILL ESCALATE AS
YOUR DEMOGRAPHICS IMPROVE.
BUT WHAT DID THEY SAY
ABOUT THE CLEARANCE ISSUE? I MEAN, LOOK,
N.B.C. IS PUTTING
THE TONIGHT SHOW,
ON WHAT, 99% OF
THEIR AFFILIATES...
WE'LL ONLY GET ABOUT 65%
OF THE AFFILIATES IN YEAR ONE.
HOWARD STRINGER
PROMISES THEY'LL GET IT UP TO 90% BY THE END OF YEAR 3,
AT THE VERY, VERY LATEST.
NOW, IN SPITE OF
THESE LIMITATIONS, DAVE,
I THINK THAT STRINGER
IS AN EXTREMELY COMPETENT EXECUTIVE.
IF YOU GO TO C.B.S.,
THERE IS NO DOUB THAT YOU WILL BECOME
THEIR NUMBER ONE SIGNATURE STAR.
AND I CAN'T PU A PRICE TAG ON THAT.
THERE IS ONE PROBLEM
THAT WE NOW HAVE TO DEAL WITH.
AND THAT IS, THAT N.B.C.
STILL HAS THE RIGH TO MATCH THIS OFFER WITHIN 30 DAYS.
SO N.B.C. MATCHES THE OFFER,
AND I'M... I'M STUCK AT N.B.C.
AT 12:30 FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
NOT NECESSARILY.
WE'VE COME UP
WITH SOMETHING EXTRA.
THE C.B.S. DEAL HAS
A PENALTY CLAUSE.
C.B.S. AGREES TO
GIVE YOU A SHOW
THAT AIRS BEFORE
MIDNIGHT EASTERN TIME, OR THEY OWE YOU $50 MILLION.
$50 MILLION.
( Morty )
THAT'S NO PENALTY, THAT'S CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.
IT WILL NOT EVEN FAZE C.B.S.,
BECAUSE THEY'RE GIVING YOU 11.30 ANYWAY.
BUT IT'S GOING
TO MAKE N.B.C. CHOKE.
( chuckling )
COOL.
IT IS C.A.A.'S
FORMAL RECOMMENDATION
THAT YOU ACCEP THE C.B.S. OFFER, AND SO INFORM N.B.C.
CONGRATULATIONS, DAVE.
( snickering )
TAXI!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I GOT A DATE DOWNTOWN.
REALLY, ANOTHER ONE,
WHO'S LEFT?
DAVID.
YOU KNOW,
THERE'S STILL ONE PROMISE THAT OVITZ HASN'T KEPT.
WELL, MAYBE N.B.C. IS HAPPY
WITH WHAT THEY GOT.
IF N.B.C. WERE TO OFFER
YOU THE TONIGHT SHOW, WOULD YOU STILL ACCEPT IT?
WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION.
OF COURSE I WOULD.
I W-W-WANT THAT SHOW.
I JUST WANTED TO
HEAR YOU SAY IT AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? PETE?
DAVID.
BOB WRIGHT IS
HERE TO SEE YOU.
HERE?
MMM-HMM.
HELLO, DAVID.
HEY, BOB,
HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR COMING.
UH, PETE,
WHY DON'T YOU COME IN?
I'M SORRY, I HAVE THINGS
TO DO DOWN THE HALL.
THANKS, PETER.
YOU BET, BOB.
HEY, BOB, UH,
THANKS FOR COMING ON DOWN.
OH, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
YOU LIKE THAT?
YOU WANT ONE? THERE YOU GO.
OH, THANK YOU.
YOU OWN IT.
DAVID.
I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU
TO LEAVE YOUR FAMILY HERE AT N.B.C.
I'M HERE BECAUSE
I WANT DESPERATELY TO PREVENT THAT.
I WANT TO OFFER
ANYTHING I CAN.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN OFFER
TO GET YOU TO STAY?
WELL, THOSE ARE
WARM SENTIMENTS, BOB.
THANK YOU.
WELL, OF COURSE YOU KNOW
I WOULD STAY,
BUT YOU'VE ALREADY
FILLED YOUR 11:30 SLOT.
I CAN OFFER
ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE.
PRIME-TIME, SPECIALS...
I KNOW, BOB, LISTEN.
IT'S JUST, PRIME-TIME AND...
I'M A CREATURE
OF LATE NIGHT.
YOU KNOW I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN,
THAT'S WHO MY AUDIENCE IS.
YOU KNOW, THE GUYS ON
THE WEST COAST SAY THA YOU MAY HAVE TROUBLE
ADJUSTING TO 11:30.
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, I...
THOSE GUYS ARE
ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION,
BUT I'M TELLING YOU
I THINK THAT THEY ARE WRONG.
AND I THINK THAT I AM READY.
I'VE GIVEN A LOT OF THOUGH TO WHAT IT WOULD TAKE
TO SHIFT TO... TO AN 11:30 POSITION.
I KNOW
IT'S A DIFFERENT AUDIENCE.
AND IF THAT MEANS, UH,
BOOKING DIFFERENT TYPES OF GUESTS
OR COUNTRY MUSIC
MIXED IN WITH THE ROCK OR WHATEVER IT TAKES.
UH, AND I CAN ALSO
TEMPER MY OWN ACT.
BOB, I'M A PROFESSIONAL,
I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT YOU CAN.
AND I SEE THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN
THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT.
WELL, I HAVE,
UH, BUT, UH, GOOD.
ALL THE SAME,
I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT IT'S TIME.
I MEAN,
I GOT TO MOVE UP.
AND IF I DON'T DO IT NOW,
I'M NOT EVER GOING TO DO IT.
IT'S TIME TO MOVE.
( all chattering )
JOHN.
BETTY.
HAVE YOU HEARD
ANYTHING NEW FROM OVITZ?
NOTHIN' NEW, NOTHIN' OLD.
LOTS OF NOTHIN'.
GREAT.
WARREN.
SO, UH, WHAT'S WRIGHT SAYING?
HE SAYS HE'S WAITING
TO HEAR FROM OVITZ.
HE'S LEANING
TOWARDS LETTERMAN.
I KNOW, I TOLD JAY,
WEST COAST IS BEHIND HIM,
BUT I CAN' SPEAK FOR NEW YORK.
YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT BOCA?
ONCE AGAIN, JAY AND DAVE
ARE IN COMPETITION
WITH ONE ANOTHER.
YOU KNOW, NOW
NEW YORK LIKES DAVE SO MUCH
THEY DON'T WANT TO LET HIM GO.
I MEAN, I LIKE DAVE.
HE'S MY FRIEND. I LOVE THIS SHOW.
I'M NOT ASKING THEM
TO NOT LIKE DAVE.
WHY DOES IT HAVE
TO BE EITHER OR?
THESE NETWORK GUYS...
THEY CAN'T MAKE
UP THEIR MIND.
THEY THINK THEY
CAN JUST FLIP A COIN. DAVE OR JAY, JAY OR DAVE.
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO THEM.
YOU THINK THE MEETING'S ABOU CHOOSING BETWEEN YOU TWO?
I DON'T CARE WHA THE MEETING'S ABOUT AT ALL.
I'VE GIVEN THEM EVERYTHING
THEY'VE ASKED FOR.
I'VE GIVEN THEM THE DEMOS,
THE NUMBERS.
IF I'M THE ONE GOING DOWN,
I'M GOING DOWN SWINGING.
HEY, WHERE'S RICK LUDWIN?
HE LEFT TO BE IN ON
THAT CONFERENCE CALL FROM BOCA.
GUESS WHAT THAT'S
GOING TO BE ABOUT.
HEY, EVERYONE, I'M GONNA
CUT THE POSTMORTEM A LITTLE SHORT TONIGHT.
I GOT SOMETHING TO DO.
IT WAS A GREAT SHOW, REALLY. THANKS.
ALL RIGHT?
I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. DEBBIE, THANK YOU.
AND I'LL, UH, I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE HOUSE LATER.
ALL RIGHT, OK, THANKS.
( door closing )
( cat meowing )
( man )
Are you reading us ok, can you hear us?
YEAH, I HEAR YOU ALL FINE.
We're all here,
you settled in?
You ordered the pizza yet?
( man laughing )
Thanks for joining us, Rick.
I know it's late.
We're all tired,
but we're here to discuss
and hear out everybody's opinion on
what we should do
about late night.
I THINK THIS SHOULD HAVE
BEEN SETTLED LONG BEFORE NOW.
JAY HAS THE JOB,
HE'S DOING GREAT.
HE HAS A GREAT ATTITUDE.
WHOA, WHOA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE
TO TALK THIS THING OUT.
NOT TO DO SOME
SELF-SERVING COMMERCIALS.
I MEAN, IF YOU WAN THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER JOB THAT BAD, RICK,
KISS JAY'S ASS
IN PRIVATE, OK?
I... I DIDN'T MEAN TO...
WE ALL SEE
THE JOB JAY IS DOING.
( Dick )
His selection of musical acts,
UNORIGINAL COMEDY
PAST THE MONOLOGUE.
AND HIS PISS-POOR
INTERVIEWING.
WHICH, BY THE WAY, LOOKS LIKE
IT WILL NEVER GET ANY BETTER.
LET'S TALK
ABOUT WHAT WE THINK IT WOULD REALLY COST US
TO MATCH C.B.S.'S
OFFER FOR LETTERMAN.
AND ON THE OTHER HAND,
IF LENO QUITS TO GO TO C.B.S.,
are we out from
under the $10 million we'd owe him if we fired him?
( Dick )
Warren?
( Warren )
I've got some serious concerns here,
AND I DON'T THINK
YOU CAN JUST THROW OFF JAY
WITH A COUPLE OF...
OH, JACK!
JACK, IT'S VERY GOOD
OF YOU TO COME SO LATE.
OH, PLEASE SIT.
AND KEEP TALKING, EVERYBODY.
I'M JUST HERE TO LISTEN.
SORRY IT'S SO WARM,
THE AIR CONDITIONING WENT OUT.
UM,
WARREN,
WHY DON'T YOU CONTINUE?
OH, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, UH, MY FEAR IS THA LETTERMAN WON'T COOPERATE.
IT ISN'T IN HIS PERSONALITY,
HE'LL STIFF US.
YOU KNOW, REMEMBER,
THIS IS THE GUY
WHO KICKS N.B.C.
EXECUTIVES OUT OF HIS ANNIVERSARY PARTIES.
THAT'S AN OLD STORY...
EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE.
THERE'S STILL
A SERIOUS QUESTION
THAT HIS ACT CAN
PLAY AN HOUR EARLIER. A LOT OF US THINK IT WON'T.
AND DON'T FORGET.
WITH LENO,
WE OWN THE SHOW AGAIN.
LETTERMAN WANTS
TO OWN HIS SHOW.
THEN HE HAS ALL
THE ANCILLARY PROFITS.
MAY I SAY SOMETHING HERE?
JACK, PLEASE, OF COURSE.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT A REGULAR
LATE NIGHT VIEWER,
SO I WOULDN' PRESUME TO MAKE A CALL
ABOUT WHO'S
THE BEST COMEDIAN.
ALL I WANT TO SAY IS THIS,
AS ALWAYS I'M FOR WHATEVER
IS THE BEST BUSINESS DEAL.
THAT'S FOR YOU, BOB,
AND YOUR PEOPLE TO DETERMINE.
HOWEVER,
IF THE DECISION COMES DOWN TO A TIE ON ALL ANGLES,
I'D CAST MY VOTE FOR LOYALTY.
GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT,
GOOD NIGHT, JACK.
THANKS VERY MUCH
FOR DROPPING BY.
( Bob )
I THINK THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT UP.
WE'LL MEET AGAIN TOMORROW.
( Betty )
WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT IS WHAT WE WILL LOOK LIKE,
IF WE THROW OU THE LOYAL DOG,
WE'LL BE CAST AS
OPPORTUNISTIC VENAL SHITS.
IT'LL BE PAULEY-NORVILLE
ALL OVER AGAIN.
( Bob )
BETTY, HOW THE HELL IS THIS PAULEY-NORVILLE?
( Jay )
HEY, WARREN, IT'S JAY. HOW'RE YOU DOING?
HEY, I KNOW YOU'RE
PROBABLY ALL TIRED
FROM SITTING THROUGH
THOSE BORING G.E. MEETINGS.
I BET I'M CATCHING YOU
JUST AS YOU WERE
ABOUT TO SI DOWN ON THE TOILET.
That was quite a meeting
you had last night, you know that.
I... I HOPE G.E. PROTECTS
ITS NUCLEAR SECRETS BETTER
THAN THEY PROTEC THEIR LATE NIGHT SECRETS.
I, UH, I THOUGHT IT WAS
TOO BAD TO HEAR THA DICK EBERSOL WAS
NO JAY LENO FAN.
ALTHOUGH IT WAS
GOOD TO KNOW THAT, UH,
JACK WELCH WAS IS
IN FAVOR OF LOYALTY.
YOU KNOW,
AS LONG AS IT CAME DOWN TO A "TIE ON ALL ANGLES."
HOLY SHIT, JAY.
HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION?
YOU KNOW, I MAY LOOK STUPID,
BUT I'M ITALIAN.
I... I KNOW HOW TO
FIND INFORMATION.
L-L-LISTEN, JAY, DON' TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.
WARREN, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO WORRY, YOUR SECRETS ARE SAFE WITH ME.
I WON'T BREAK THE G.E. CODE.
LISTEN,
JUST HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME IN BEAUTIFUL SUNNY FLORIDA.
( laughing )
( water flushing )
BETTY,
WE HAVE A SECURITY LEAK OF ENORMOUS PROPORTIONS.
( audience applauding )
Paul Shaffer, uh, ladies and gentlemen.
( David )
OOH, WELL, THAT SUCKED.
LET'S SEE HOW BAD
WE CAN WRITE TOMORROW'S.
JOHN, YOU HAVE SOME TOP 10...
YEAH, THE TOP 10 REASONS
SINEAD O'CONNOR HATES THE POPE.
NO, NO, NO, NO CAN DO.
WE GOT A MEMO FROM N.B.C.
STANDARDS AND PRACTICES
IS RIP-SHI OVER HER TEARING
THE POPE IN HALF ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.
( David )
I DON'T CARE. WRITE THE JOKE. NO SINEAD O'CONNOR JOKES.
AND NOW N.B.C.'S TELLING US
WHAT JOKES WE CAN AND CAN'T DO?
WHAT'S NEXT?
THEY'RE GOING TO SERVE A TASTY HOT MEAL ON MY DESK?
APPARENTLY.
OH, FUCK.
ALL RIGHT, UH, TOP 10 JOKES
THAT N.B.C. WON'T LET US DO.
PETER LIKED IT,
PETER LIKED THAT JOKE.
LAURIE, YOU LIKE THAT JOKE?
YEAH.
UH, MIKE OVITZ IS ON LINE ONE.
ALL RIGHT, FELLOWS. LET'S GO.
I GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL.
GO ON, IT'S ADULT SWIM.
GET OUT OF HERE.
DON'T COME BACK, UH,
UNTIL IT'S FUNNY.
YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR THIS?
OH, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT,
YOU READY? YEAH.
HIYA, MIKE,
HOW ARE YOU?
DAVE, ONE HOUR AGO BOB WRIGH CONVEYED TO US AN OFFER
for you to host
The Tonight Show.
OH, YES!
( Mike )
Now don't jump to any conclusions.
LET ME LAY ALL THIS OUT.
The deal is
3 years with an option.
THE SALARY RANGE IS
$7 TO $12 MILLION.
NOW HERE'S THE WRINKLE.
The deal does not commence
until May of 1994.
18 months from now.
UH, WH-WH-WHAT'S
ALL THAT ABOUT?
IT'S RATHER TRANSPARENTLY
N.B.C.'S ATTEMP TO KEEP BOTH YOU AND LENO,
AT LEAST FOR A WHILE.
THE MAY DATE,
AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
COINCIDES WITH
THE END OF LENO'S CONTRAC AS THE HOST OF
THE TONIGHT SHOW.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT I GET THE SHOW?
YES.
I JUST DON'T GET IT NOW?
NO.
I GET IT A... A YEAR FROM MAY?
YES.
AND, UH, THEY DON' FORCE JAY OUT, RIGHT?
NO, UNLESS HE QUITS,
WHICH I ASSUME THAT HE MIGHT.
Maybe that's what
they want him to do.
JAY'S GOING TO QUIT?
NOT A CHANCE.
NOT A CHANCE.
JESUS, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
LET ME POINT OU A FEW MORE THINGS.
C.B.S. IS OFFERING
MORE SALARY.
C.B.S. is offering ownership.
C.B.S. IS ALSO OFFERING
FOR THE SHOW TO START IN THE FALL.
N.B.C., THE FOLLOWING SPRING,
MAYBE.
WHAT'S THAT, WHAT'S "MAYBE"?
I MEAN THE DEAL IS OBVIOUSLY
VERY SMOKY IN MANY DETAILS.
BUT I GET THE SHOW, RIGHT?
NO, NOT NECESSARILY, DAVID.
THE WAITING PERIOD
GIVES JAY 18 MONTHS TO MAKE THE SHOW A HIT.
AND IF HE DOES,
YOU CAN BET N.B.C. WILL FIND
A WAY TO WEASEL
OUT OF THE DEAL.
HONESTLY, C.A.A. SEES
NO REASON TO CHANGE ITS RECOMMENDATION.
MIKE, LISTEN.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
UH, IT IS EVERY DRIVER'S DREAM
TO DRIVE A FERRARI.
NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME
TO GIVE THAT UP.
WELL, I COULD PROBABLY
BUY SOME TIME.
THE N.B.C. DEADLINE IS MONDAY.
I COULD GET AGOGLIA IN HERE
ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY,
AND HAVE HIM
START DRAWING UP...
YES, YES,
GET AGOGLIA IN THERE.
I'M NOT GOING TO
BE THE ONLY GUY
WHOSE WEEKEND IS
RUINED BY THIS.
HAVE AGOGLIA
DRAG HIS TIRED ASS OVER TO C.A.A.,
WHILE I'M UP IN
CONNECTICUT IN HELL,
TRYING TO FIGURE OU WHAT THE FUCK I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE!
( woman )
DAVE.
DAVE.
( David ) WHAT?
HELLO, DAVID.
AH! HI, PETE.
WELCOME TO
MY WEEKEND IN HELL.
( grunting )
NO MOVEMENT SINCE FRIDAY?
NO.
AND AGOGLIA'S NOT PUTTING
ANYTHING IN WRITING.
YEAH, OVITZ SAYS, UH,
N.B.C. CAN'T TAKE THE RISK.
THAT IT WOULD LEAK.
AND JAY WOULD FIGURE OU THEY'VE OFFERED HIS JOB TO ME.
CAN YOU IMAGINE
IF THE PRESS HEARD ABOUT THIS?
DO YOU THINK JAY KNOWS?
NO.
HOW CAN HE?
BUT IT IS WORTH THINKING
WHAT IT WILL MEAN TO JAY
IF YOU TAKE THIS.
IT MEANS YOU'LL BE
DENOUNCED IN THE PRESS
FOR SHOVING AN OLD FRIEND
UNDER A TRAIN.
JEEZ!
I MEAN, THA-THAT'S HORRIBLE.
I CAN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
HAVE YOU TALKED
TO ANYBODY ELSE?
YEAH,
I'VE TALKED TO EVERYBODY.
I TALKED TO HAL,
MORTY, ROB, JUDE.
AND WHAT DID THEY SAY?
THEY ALL, UH,
THEY SAID THE SAME THING, IT'S A SHITTY DEAL.
C.B.S. OFFERED A BETTER ONE.
I TELL YOU, PETE,
I'M STILL
THINKING OF TAKING IT.
I WANT THAT SHOW.
WHAT SHOW?
I DESERVE THAT SHOW.
JOHNNY'S SHOW?
DON'T YOU GET IT, DAVID?
THEY ARE NOT OFFERING YOU
THE JOHNNY CARSON TONIGHT SHOW.
THAT IS GONE FOREVER.
THEY'RE OFFERING YOU
DAMAGED GOODS.
THEY'RE OFFERING YOU
THE JAY LENO SHOW.
AND THEY'RE NO EVEN OFFERING IT NOW, THEY'RE MAKING YOU WAIT.
I'VE LOST THAT SHOW ONCE,
I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN.
I CAN'T.
I JUST CAN'T SAY NO.
THEN DON'T SAY YES YET.
MAKE ONE MORE PHONE CALL.
JESUS, WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS TO ME?
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND,
I DON'T CARE.
I CANNOT LOSE
THE TONIGHT SHOW TWICE.
ONCE TO JAY LENO.
AND ONCE BECAUSE
I WAS TOO DUMB TO TAKE A SECOND CHANCE.
THEY'RE OFFERING ME
A SECOND CHANCE, PETE.
DAVID, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
I AM THE GUY THAT MOVED HEAVEN AND EARTH
TO GET YOU THAT SECOND CHANCE
AND I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S NOT RIGHT.
IT'S LEFTOVERS. IT'S SHODDY.
CALL THE ONE GUY
IN ALL THE WORLD
WHO CAN HELP YOU
FIGURE THIS OUT.
( telephone ringing )
HELLO.
( David )
Uh, Johnny, it's Dave.
I, UH, I HATE TO BOTHER YOU
ON A SUNDAY LIKE THIS BUT...
I KNOW
WHY YOU'RE CALLING, DAVE.
UH, PETER FILLED ME IN
ON THE N.B.C. OFFER.
LISTEN,
I JUST HATE TO PUT YOU ON THE SPOT LIKE THIS,
BUT YOU MAY BE THE ONLY GUY
WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS
THIS SORT OF THING AND I...
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK YOU GOT TO DO
WHAT'S BEST FOR YOUR CAREER. I MEAN,
DO... DO WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART.
WELL, IT'S JUST THOSE 2 THINGS
SEEM TO BE IN... IN DIRECT CONFLICT HERE.
IT'S JUST SO TOUGH.
I... I JUST HAVE TO JUST ASK
YOU STRAIGHT OUT, JOHNNY.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
WELL, DAVE,
I WOULD PROBABLY WALK.
NOW I'M NOT TELLING YOU
TO DO THAT.
But if you're asking me
what I would do,
IF I WAS TREATED LIKE THIS,
YEAH, I, UH,
I WOULD PROBABLY WALK.
YEAH,
I IMAGINE YOU WOULD, JOHNNY.
UH, LISTEN, I JUST REALLY
APPRECIATE THIS.
IT'S JUST AWFULLY
NICE OF YOU AND I...
I, UH...
THANKS.
GOOD LUCK, DAVE.
Everybody wants to know
what's going on in late night.
And the answer is,
the host of the Tonight Show
will continue to be
Jay Leno!
( motorcycle engine revving )
( Jay )
Hey!
( chuckling )
( Jay )
How're you all doing?
Don't let these N.B.C. guys
out of your sight.
Hey, Warren, how are you?
Welcome to N.B.C.,
which stands for
"Never Believe your Contract."
( audience laughing )
You know they say, uh...
They say that
we live in a time of lowered expectations.
They... they must be right
because, look at this,
you're all here
and I have the job.
What we're celebrating
is that I haven't been fired.
( sighing )
OK.
LET'S GO.
IT'S OUR TURN NOW.
( Jay chattering )
( honking )
HOLD IT.
GENTLEMEN,
WE'RE JUST GOING FROM
ONE BIZARRE CIRCUMSTANCE
TO THE NEXT.
( David )
I never dated Amy Fisher.
( audience laughing )
I helped her with her homework
I... I fixed her car,
and that's it.
Thank you, good night.
What about Paul Shaffer,
is he coming along?
Paul who?
Paul Shaffer.
Paul Shaffer.
Oh, no, God,
we forgot...
We forgot about Paul.
Howard, is there just
a bit left over
for Paul Shaffer?
Dave, Dave, are you going to
kick Jay Leno's ass?
I'm going to kick
your ass, buddy.
( woman reporter )
Isn't your comedy too hip for 11:30?
( camera clicking )
You people seem to be keeping up.
( Warren )
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WE'VE GOT RIDING ON JAY LENO?
A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY
AND MY ASS.
DAVE'S REALLY GOOD.
I HOPE WE HAVEN' MADE A MISTAKE.
( There's No Business
Like Show Business by Ethel Merman Playing )
THERE'S NO BUSINESS
LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW
ALL MADE UP AND SOON
YOU'LL BE APPEARING
EVERY BIT OF
NERVOUSNESS IS GONE
AND THE SOUND
THAT'S MUSIC TO YOUR HEARING
TO HEAR THEM CHEERING
WHEN YOU COME ON
THERE'S NO PEOPLE
LIKE SHOW PEOPLE
THEY SMILE WHEN
THEY ARE LOW
HOW I WISH THE FOLKS AT HOME
COULD ONLY SEE
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ANNIE,
HOW PROUD THEY'D BE
GETTING PAID FOR DOING
WHAT COMES NATURALLY
LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW