1
Mr. Zander,
former Green Beret.
Medal of Honor
recipient.
CIA operative.
rmer head
of the Black Cobra
Mercenary Society.
I thought you would have
been a bigger challenge,
but what
a disappointment
you are.
You're beginning
to sound like my father.
Is there anything you
would like to tell us now?
Yeah.
I want to thank you.
You just saved me 1,500 bucks
in a root canal.
Heh.
Joke.
Don't misunderstand me.
I find you very funny,
but I'm done with you
and your jokes.
So tell me, Mr. Zander,
do you have
any final words
before I
remove your head
from your body?
Yeah, I do.
Nice leg.
Aah!
Aah!
Sayonara, amigos.
Cut!
Cut! Cut!
Darren, where are you?
Where are you?
I-Is this how you
take care of me?
It was supposed to be
taken care of.
What happened?
Sorry. It just
malfunctioned.
My bad, baby.
My bad.
Malfunctioned?
My bad.
Wait. This is smoke.
How could smoke
not function?
No. We don't use
smoke anymore.
No, no, no.
No, no.
"Red Rocket" was smoke.
That was whoosh.
This is different.
This is wheesh.
This is
liquid nitrogen,
new formula,
and it's safe
until it explodes.
Nitrogen? Are you kidding me?
Yes.
This is a chemical.
This can't be good
for my body.
Oh, baby,
you look fabulous.
Yeah, man.
You really do
look fabulous.
Let's move on to scene 87.
Sorry, boss.
Let's get
the green screen lit.
Let's get Colton
in his new wardrobe.
87? Hold on.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Darren, I'm not doing 87.
I'm wrapped.
I can't do this.
We have to do scene 87.
I need you
in the scene
with the bugs.
What bugs? I hate bugs.
I can't do a bug movie.
I'm not doing--
It's so funny
that you say that,
because you're
in a bug movie
right now.
That's what's happening.
I'm in a bug movie?
When did this
become a bug movie?
It became a bug movie when
the writer put his fingers
on the keyboard.
Excuse me. I hope she's
a good friend of yours,
because you
just got her fired.
Hit that
with something heavy.
If I see that
near your face,
your face is in
the unemployment office.
What page is there
a bug movie?
What page?
Did you read the script?
Yeah, I looked it over.
What do you mean
you looked it over?
Did you put it on a coffee table
and look at it,
or did you read it?
I read most of it, Darren.
Come on. We're done here.
We're not done.
We're not done.
Oh, really?
Look, we're into
four hours of overtime,
and you promised me
I could take my kid
to see his favorite team.
You promised me that you
would be a team player
on this shoot,
that I wouldn't have to put up
with your crap this time.
I've been
here for 16 hours
choking on smoke.
How much more
of a team player
do you want?
Don't walk out that door.
Really?
You're making a mistake.
Really?
Thank you, Amber.
Oh, come on. Get bent.
Don't walk out that door,
Colton.
Okay, you did.
Now don't walk to your car.
Really?
Okay, it's over
for you if you do.
Over? Come on.
Yeah.
We know each other
10 years. We're buddies.
10 years is nothing
in this business.
I'm done with you.
Oh, come on.
Look, Darren, you know
the only reason
the producers
put me in this
is to put my face
on the video box.
On a video box?
Did you just time-travel here
from the nineties?
This is your problem.
You live in a world
of car phones and
fax machines.
You're living in the past.
"Red Rocket"
was 20 years ago.
"Clown Cops"
was 25 years ago.
You have to realize
I only put you in this move
as a favor to Arni.
I'm making a movie about
giant cockroaches, okay?
It sells itself.
It doesn't need this,
not anymore.
Look, you don't
have to say that.
That's not really nice.
We're friends. Come on.
Not anymore.
I'm done with you.
Come on, Darren.
I'm gonna see you
tomorrow morning.
Not unless I'm down
at the unemployment
office, you won't.
Okay, bye, Colton.
Meg, get Arni
on the phone.
A recent swarm of earthquakes
has been rocking
Southern California.
Dr. Deckert Serbi is here
to talk about what is happening.
Thank you for spending some time
with us today, Doctor.
This is Colton.
You walked off the set?
Are you kidding me
right now?
Are you kidding me,
Arni?
It's a freaking
cockroach movie.
He didn't read the script.
It's what's
being offered.
It's $10,000
for one day's work,
and I had to beg
to get it for you!
Well, you know what?
They can keep
the money, okay?
You know, I'm looking
for something with
integrity and respect.
Do you know that word,
Arni? "Respect."
You know, I'm better
than this crap.
No, you're not.
I promised them--
No, I swore to them
you would be a mensch!
Nobody is more menschy
than me. You know that.
Look, I just
bailed you out of jail.
You were five seconds
away from orange is
the new ass in town.
They kept me four hours
after my day, okay?
I don't care!
You owe me money, Colt!
Just turn your car
around, please,
and go to work!
Arni, I got another call.
No more bug movies.
Don't you hang up on me!
Don't! Don't!
Mother--Maggie!
Hi, honey.
Where the hell
are you?
It's nice to hear
your voice, too, sweetheart.
The game starts
in 20 minutes.
Did you forget?
No. Honey,
this is Los Angeles.
Nobody gets to a game
before the fourth inning.
You know that.
Whatever.
I'm out of here.
Uh, he's on--
he's on his way, sweetheart.
I've heard it before.
Wyatt.
Great. He just walked
out of the house.
What's with that kid?
He doesn't listen
anymore.
Tell him the freeway's
a parking lot.
I'm gonna get there
as soon as I can.
You know what?
You tell him.
Colton West is
in the news again.
Why are you
on TV?
According to
law enforcement sources,
nineties movie star and
action hero Colton West
was booked last night
in Santa Monica
on charges of aggravated assault
and resisting arrest.
I guess that's one way to get
yourself back in the public eye.
What kind of trouble
are you in now?
I don't know, honey.
I really don't know.
You know what?
I don't care.
Goodbye, Colton.
Whoa.
Did you feel that?
Whoa!
We're having an earthquake.
Yeah, honey,
are you okay?
Olivia, are you okay?
Whoa!
You see that?!
Everybody
take cover!
Aah!
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, answer.
Answer.
Reports are pouring in
of an unprecedented
geological event
occurring in Los Angeles.
How 'bout biological?
How 'bout volcanic,
you moron?
This is
a freaking apocalypse!
In a follow-up story,
the Malibu bar fight
involving nineties movie star
and action hero, Colton West,
who was made famous
by his role as the Red Rocket
and made famous the expression,
"Nice" anything.
Nice nose.
Nice tattoo. Yah!
Nice tentacle.
Eyewitnesses are now
coming forward
to say that Colton West
was in fact
trying to be a peacemaker.
If that in fact is the case,
then this reporter
has one thing to say.
Nice job.
We interrupt this program
to bring you breaking news.
The earthquakes
that have been shaking
the L.A. basin
the last few minutes
are in fact tied
to a volcanic eruption
in the Santa Monica Mountains
near the Sepulveda Pass.
Now, this would be
an unprecedented volcanic event
that--Okay.
Why is there
still no Internet?
Damn it!
You get Colton
on the phone yet?
No. It keeps going
to voice mail.
You guys
have to see this.
One of my friends
just sent this to me.
Yeah, that's great.
My kid has
that app, too.
Take a video
of anything,
you can nuke it,
alien invade it,
smash it
with a meteor.
What?
He's already killed
the neighbor's cat
30 times.
Oh, my God!
That was a big one,
you guys.
I think
we should go home.
I think
you're right.
That's a first.
Now!
Okay.
Son of a--
Spiders.
Did the spiders come?
Have you seen
the spiders?
Why didn't you tell me
about the bar fight?
The bar--bar fight
was nothing!
Nothing?
What--
It's all over the news.
"Colton West
is in trouble again."
Did Arni bail you out?
None of that matters.
Nothing matters.
What matters
is you're okay.
Thank God, honey,
you're okay.
You're not gonna believe
what I saw.
You're not gonna believe
what's going on
on the freeway.
Where's Wyatt?
He left, remember?
When did he do that?
Of course you
don't remember. He--
You forgot to pick
him up for his game,
so he just walked
out of the house.
Honey, have you seen
the news?
Yes! You had a bar fight.
Call Wyatt,
and get him back here.
I have been
calling Wyatt,
but of course
he's not picking up.
You know what?
I'm just gonna go teach
my kickboxing class.
You're not
teaching anything.
You're not going anywhere.
Honey, it's not safe
out there.
I don't want you
going anywhere.
Stop it.
You're scaring me.
All right, I'm sorry!
What do you want from me?
I want you
to talk to me like
a normal human being.
Okay. Okay. Sweetheart,
did you feel
the earthquake?
Yes.
Good! Good!
I felt the earthquake.
It was an earthquake.
Right.
The fifth one this year.
It's not like it's
the end of the world.
Yes, it is, believe me.
The Santa Monica Mountains
erupted like a volcano.
I was on the freeway,
and I saw spiders
the size of men
raining on hoods
and spitting fire out
of their mouths.
Fire out of their mouths.
Have you
been drinking again?
No.
You know what?
That's it.
I'm calling
Dr. Hertzberg.
Honey, wait.
No, no, no. Stop it.
In the car now.
Honey, stop it.
I am not on anything.
I am completely sober.
I need you
to listen to me.
Sweetheart,
listen to me.
I love you, okay?
I need you to pack
everything that's
important to us.
I want you to take the dog,
I want you take
your jewelry,
and I want you
to pack everything up,
and you have to listen to me,
and we have to leave here.
Colton,
we don't have a dog.
Colton! Colton!
Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.
What is that for?
I'm going to get Wyatt.
Honey, did you call him or not?
Okay, okay.
I was standing here,
talking to you.
He said he was
going to Travis'.
Oh, damn. Then he's probably
downtown riding bikes.
Look, just stay
in the house.
If he comes back,
you keep him here.
You got it?
Circuits are busy.
Well, just keep trying.
And tell everybody
to stay off the freeway.
All right, get this.
Get this.
Here he goes.
Here he goes.
Whoo!
Ah, wicked, man!
Hey, dawg. I didn't
know you were coming.
Glad you could
make it out.
Hey, Jordan.
Sick move, man.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Should have been here
five minutes ago.
Yeah. You should've seen.
My girl was sick.
So are you
riding with us today?
Yeah, for sure, if it's
cool with you guys.
Of course.
Hell, yeah.
Oh, right on. Let's go.
Don't even think
about it.
I've been trying forever
to get her out here.
What did I do?
Gave her a flirty smile.
I did?
Yeah.
Oh, okay. Well, um,
Eli's the one
riding with her
right now,
so you might wanna
go jump in on that.
Dude, I don't care
about Eli.
Don't mess this up
for me, man.
Dude, relax.
It's--It's good.
Come on. Let's just--
Come on. Let's ride.
Whoa!
Dude.
What just happened?
Whoa, did you guys
see that?
That was big.
Yeah. Let's check it out.
Are you coming?
What? Um...
yeah. Yeah.
Hey, it's Wyatt.
I'm not here right now.
Leave a message.
Damn it.
Damn. Oh. What the--
What the...
Are you kidding me?
My God!
Hello.
Hey, Doris.
It's Olivia.
You're checking up
on me, aren't you?
I'm fine, darling.
40 years here,
and I swear
I'll never get used
to these earthquakes.
I know, right?
Hey, listen, is your power
out over there?
Yeah,
couple minutes ago.
Must be
the whole neighborhood.
You need candles?
No, no, no, I'm good.
You okay?
I don't know.
Colton was just here,
and he was ranting
about some kind of
a disaster, and it actually
shook me up a little.
Earthquakes, fires,
rolling blackouts,
mudslides,
the Governator.
We're Californians.
We've been
through worse.
Yeah, I guess.
Is he still home?
No, no. He went
to go get Wyatt.
They're gonna be back
in little bit.
What now?
Olivia, can you
hold on a second?
Coco's barking.
I need to see
what's going on.
Yeah, sure.
Coco.
Coco!
Where are you?
Coco, where are you?
Where have you gone?
Why--
Doris?
Doris!
Whoa.
Hold on.
Whoa, look at that.
Wow.
Whoa, guys.
Hold up. Hold up.
Hold up.
Oh, man.
Who you think
happened here?
The ground just started
breaking up.
Looks like
a bomb hit.
What?
Hold up.
You smell that?
That smells
like gas.
Guys, let's get
out of here.
Yeah, I'm with Wyatt.
Come on.
Go! Go!
Wyatt! Wyatt!
Jordan, hold on!
Come on! Come on!
Something bit me.
Can you ride?
Go!
Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go!
Come on.
Yo!
Yo, stop!
Yo! Yo! Yo!
Stop!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Please stop!
What the heck
is that guy doing there?
Hey!
Oh, my God.
Hey! Hey, hey!
Everyone...
Hey, stop!
Stop! Hey!
It's the Red Rocket
himself, Colton West!
Hey!
Look, look, no time
for a tour, okay?
Did you not see
the volcano?
There's a catastrophe
going on.
No, no,
it's just a little
earthquake, Colton.
No. No. It's not
a little earthquake, man.
You guys
are in a lot of trouble.
You gotta get out of here.
You gotta get these people
to a safe place.
Look, what's your name?
Joe.
Joe?
Okay, Joe. Joe, I need--
Joe, I need
your focus on me, okay?
Joe, I need to get
downtown to get my son.
Can you help me?
But just first,
just get
a quick little selfie.
Do you mind?
No, Joe, we don't
have time for pictures.
My wife would
just love this.
Joe, just please--
just take me downtown.
No, wait! Right.
No, no. No, better!
You and the bus.
It would be,
like, awesome PR,
just right there
in front of the bus.
Great, Joe.
Joe, a shot right here,
right?
Oh, you look nice.
Need to move back
a little bit, Joe.
Okay, okay, okay.
Move back a little bit, Joe.
Okay, just keep moving back.
Okay.
Yeah, keep moving back.
I got it.
Yeah, yeah.
It's called a wide shot.
A wide shot?
Wide shot, Joe.
Yeah, yeah. Movie talk, Joe.
Okay.
Movie talk. You're gonna
be making a movie with me.
I'm making a movie
with Colton West.
And then
you know what, Joe?
Another movie talk
is camera left.
That way. Exactly, Joe.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, so...
Yeah. Turn that way,
and look...
Turn?
towards the trees, Joe.
Aim the camera that way?
That's it.
Okay.
Aim toward--You know,
I'm gonna say, "Action,"
Joe, like a movie.
We're making
a great movie, Joe.
Okay.
This is just so awesome.
I mean, I'm such
a big fan of...
And don't move
until I say, "Action."
The second one
not so much,
but the first one was--
Action!
Hey!
Hey!
My bus! Ahh!
Colton West took my bus!
Thank you very much.
I apologize
for taking control
of your bus,
but as you may
or may not know,
there was an earthquake
today in Los Angeles
that was caused
by some sort of
volcanic activity
in the Santa Monica
Mountains.
Lava spiders erupted
from these mountains,
spiders,
spiders as big as men,
and they rained down
on all of Los Angeles.
Colton, banzai!
Thanks, kid.
Banzai to you, too.
This way!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Follow me. Come on.
Go! Go!
Hurry up! Come on!
Eli!
I'm coming! I'm com--
Eli!
Eli, no!
Eli!
Eli, no!
Wyatt, let's go!
Aah! Aah!
What?!
What the hell!
Travis!
Travis, here!
Come here.
Come here.
Let me...
Jordan! Jordan!
Dude, don't leave me.
I'm right here!
Don't touch it.
Just get me
out of here, okay?
Did you see what
those things did to Eli?
What the hell
are those things?
I don't know, man.
It bit me.
It bit you?
What bit you?
I said I don't know, man!
Okay, listen.
Just stay here for a second.
Okay. You watch her.
Hey, can you do that?
Okay, I'm gonna get
the first-aid kit.
Okay.
I'm burnt so bad.
Doris, are you in there?
It's Olivia.
Doris, are...
What the...
Oh, my God. What...
Wyatt.
Oh, man, the Red Rocket
is driving my tour bus.
Somebody pinch me!
Thanks a lot, kid.
I appreciate it.
Uh, listen, I know that you
hear this all the time,
but I am your biggest fan.
Yeah.
Hi. I'm Chris.
Chris.
Yeah.
Not a good time to talk.
No, no, I know.
With the earthquakes
and everything
and the spiders.
There are spiders, buddy.
No, no, no, I know.
Big as your freaking body.
Big as my body.
The thing is, is that I've
watched all your movies.
I know all your lines.
Nice tattoo. Yah!
Look, Chris, this is
not a good time
to discuss film.
Sure.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
But seriously,
am I on, like,
a hidden-camera show
or something?
'Cause I could have swore
I saw a camera right there.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's cameras
everywhere. Look...
I knew it.
you want to be
a good boy,
tell everybody
to sit down and hold on.
All right, I need everybody
to hold on and sit down.
Colton West,
action hero!
Yeah. See,
the problem is that,
like, 90% of these people
don't speak any English.
Uh, we got a problem
up ahead.
I hate spiders.
Aah! Aah!
What the hell is that?
Oh, homina.
Chris!
What?
Switching.
Really?
No fare, no ride.
Gun! Awesome!
Top!
Ah, there's one on top now.
You gotta do something.
I am doing something.
Do that thing like you did
in that movie.
Chris, you know
the difference between
real life and movies?
No!
Darn.
Well, what did I do?
I don't know.
You, like, pulled
the emergency brake,
and it did
something cool.
Oh, yeah.
Whoo!
Colton West, I love you!
Ah ha.
I love you, too.
Me, too.
Calm down, Chris.
Okay.
I'm not
getting anything.
How the hell are
we supposed to know
what's going on outside
if we don't have
any cell service?
Where did you
find that?
Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
You have to trust me, okay?
We need to treat this.
I know. I know.
I know. I know.
You know, when I was
a little kid, I used
to come here all the time.
They would film
a ton n n of movies here,
and when my dad was shooting,
he would bring me on set.
All right, This is really
gonna hurt, all right?
Ohh! Oh, you think?
What the heck
are those things?
Ah, they look
like spiders.
Spiders aren't
that big.
Spiders don't spray
hot lava.
Spiders--
I don't know, man. I don't know.
It looked like
some kind of spider, though.
Oh, it burns so bad.
We gotta get some help.
Maybe if we go up higher,
we'd get some cell service,
something.
Sure as hell ain't
going back outside.
Okay.
You guys smell that?
They're trying
to get in.
They're trying
to get in! Let's get
out of here!
Okay. We gotta go.
We gotta go.
Come on. Can you walk?
Do I have a choice?
No.
Come on.
Come on. Let's go.
Let's go. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Crap.
As we continue
to bring you coverage
of the L.A. eruptions,
new details are emerging
by the minute.
We've got exclusive footage
of the damage from this
amazing volcanic activity.
Now, the entire area
around the 405
is closed from the 110
to the I-5
while rescue crews scramble
to evacuate survivors
and put out fires
that are spreading
across the Sepulveda basin.
Now, this one can be filed
under only in Hollyweird.
We have unconfirmed reports
of a new breed of arachnids
like these from the Hollywood
blockbuster "Spiders 3D"
that have supposedly
been attacking Angelenos.
That's right.
Large, seemingly
prehistoric spiders
have been emerging
from the chaos,
and for more of this,
we're gonna go to Sue Schnell
and her crew,
who finally have been moved
to a safer location.
Sue, what can you tell us?
That's right, Dan.
As you can see behind me here,
the National Guard
has been called in
to work
with local law enforcement
to establish a safe perimeter
around the disaster zone.
Although I haven't seen
anything myself,
social media is all over this,
with reports of giant
fire-breathing spiders
that have only added
to the mayhem
that has gripped the region.
Excuse me?
In other news, related or not,
Colton West has apparently
hijacked a tour bus.
Folks, we'll be back
in just a minute.
What?
Ohh.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Let's do this.
What are you waiting for?
You messed
with the wrong house.
I wanna get
a picture with the spider.
Uh, Mr. West,
what do you think
is in the blood
of these things?
I don't want
to study 'em, Chris.
I just want
to kill 'em.
Yeah. Well,
whatever it is,
it's eating
through the bus.
What do you think happens
when it hits gas?
Hang on, everybody.
Hang on!
Everybody off!
Go!
Everybody off!
Go! Go! Go!
Everybody
off now!
Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go!
I'm last.
Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Get off!
Let's go!
Come on!
Oh, my God!
Everybody's off
that bus, aren't they?
Yeah.
Clear the area!
You saved us.
No.
You're the man!
I didn't save anybody.
Yeah.
We still got act two
and act three to go.
Movie talk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Movie talk.
But now for many Angelenos
who are used to the shaking
and the fires,
it's as if nothing
is happening,
and for that story,
we have Ed Mendez
on Hollywood Boulevard.
Ed, what can you tell us?
Thanks, Dan. And it is true
that business and
leisure go on as usual,
and most people
either haven't heard
about these disasters
across town,
or they simply
don't believe it,
but that is quickly changing.
Now, we are just blocks away
from where a tour bus exploded,
rocking Hollywood Boulevard,
shattering windows,
and setting off car alarms.
There is so much smoke
in the area.
This is as close as we can
possibly get to the scene,
but I can tell you this much.
Some of the passengers
were terrified,
and they're claiming
that creatures
they believe are spiders
attacked their bus,
a literal avalanche
of lava-breathing spiders,
lavalantulas.
Were there any casualties
in this explosion?
No. Apparently Colton West,
who we're hearing hijacked that
very bus just moments earlier,
was able to get everybody
to safety before it blew.
Thank you, Ed.
Okay. We're gonna
bring you more
from the Santa Monica
Mountains,
where the fire crews
are struggling
to contain the chaos.
Come on. Come on.
Okay, okay.
Okay, I need a break.
I need a break.
All right, all right.
Grab that. Grab that.
Come on. Sit down.
Okay.
Ah, jeez.
Still no signal.
Wonder if
the cell towers
are all out?
The roof is gonna
be our only chance
to get out of here.
But If all
the cell towers are out,
how are we gonna
get in touch with anyone?
I gotta flag down
a helicopter
or something.
I don't even know.
Hey, Wyatt,
come here for a second.
What?
Dude, I think
I should stay here with her
while you go call for help.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah, that's good.
Cool. All right.
All right.
Good luck, man.
Come here. Come here.
Easy.
Travis, are you
trying to hit on her?
Dude, you did the whole
bandage hero thing back there.
Gotta get
my game in sometime.
Travis. Travis,
she's injured.
There are
fire-breathing spiders
chasing us right now.
What is wrong with you?
Come on, man.
It's my only angle, okay?
It's your only angle?
You gotta
be kidding me.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Okay, we gotta go.
Come on.
Come on. Let's get
out of here.
This is a mandatory evac,
boys.
No one is to be
left behind.
you understand?
If you see
any of those spiders,
you don't even hesitate.
You shoot to kill.
Got it.
Rico, Lance, I want you
to take the north side
of the street.
Hernandez, I want you
to come with me.
All right, let's go.
All right, let's go.
Move it. Move it.
What took you
so long?
We gotta get you
out of here.
We're evacuating
the whole neighborhood.
Lead the way.
The scale
of casualties is terrifying...
Any luck?
No. You got a phone?
No.
What's his name?
Wyatt.
Like Wyatt Earp?
Yeah, like Wyatt Earp.
So what's next?
Next?
Next is you go home.
No.
You go to Kansas
or Louisiana
or Wyoming,
and you get safe.
That's what next.
Des Moines. Yeah.
Des Moines.
Argh, maties.
Who wants their photo
with Pirate Jack?
Argh!
Colton West?
Yeah.
It's me,
Dave Alexander.
I did stunts
on "Swamp Justice"...
Dave!
like, 20 years ago.
Dave Alexander,
yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You look great.
Thanks.
I--I lost an arm
on the set
a couple years ago.
Stunt went bad.
Sorry to hear
about it. You got
pigeonholed, huh?
Yeah. Not a lot of work
for a one-armed stunt guy.
Look, Dave, we got
a problem here!
I know.
I saw your bus.
Phew!
No, we--
Look, I got this.
Pirate Jack.
Dave.
Dave, sorry.
This city is
in great danger, okay?
The earthquakes
are unleashing giant spiders
that are attacking
the city.
You don't know
about this?
Oh, the helicopters
and the smoke and all?
I just figured it was
another fire in the hills.
No. There's a volcano
in the hills the size
of Vesuvius.
So this spider thing's
for real?
Yes.
Look, Pirate Jack,
we just need to get
downtown to his son.
You got a car,
a truck, anything?
Yeah, I can give you a lift.
Great.
Let's go get a beer.
It's been too long.
We don't have time.
Dave, please,
take me downtown.
All right, Colt. Jeez.
It's happening again.
These earthquakes are
getting on my nerves.
You find somewhere safe.
We gotta warn people.
What about the ride?
Get off the street!
Go!
Everybody,
get off the street!
Take cover!
Everybody,
get off the street!
Get off the street!
Look, make sure
everybody finds cover
and everybody gets safe.
You got me?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, I'm--
I'm, like,
your costar.
Yeah,
You're my costar.
Yeah.
Right, right.
Just meet me
back here.
Don't lose me!
Okay. Okay.
Get the hell
out of here!
Dan, I have to tell you,
there is a growing feeling...
This is an emergency!
that these reports
of spiders
are actually
part of publicity stunt
for an upcoming
Hollywood blockbuster.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Run!
Everybody get off
the streets!
Girls, get off the streets!
There are giant spiders!
Everybody,
get off the street!
Get off the street!
Hey--
Hey. Hey!
Colton West! Nice shotgun.
Yeah!
I know you.
I know you from--
Look, you gotta
get off the streets.
There's giant spiders
everywhere.
I'd love to help you, but I
got shark problems right now.
Yeah! Yeah.
You're welcome, kid.
Yeah!
Die! Die! Die!
Gotta get outta here.
Yeah.
This way!
Get in!
Jack.
Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Keep moving, people.
On the truck.
On the truck.
Go ahead, too.
All the way to the front.
All the way to the front.
Let's go.
Come on.
Get everybody in.
Take your time. Let's go.
Where are we going?
We're going
out of the city.
How bad is this?
It's bad. The city's
completely unstable.
Los Angeles is under
a military evac.
No, no, no. Wait. Wait.
I--I can't just leave.
My family is still out there.
All right. You don't
have a choice,
all right?
This is martial law.
Excuse me?
Listen,
I'm sorry, ma'am.
This is completely
unprecedented.
We weren't prepared
for this.
I'm not leaving
without my family.
I need to find them.
We'll find your family,
I promise you,
if they're still alive.
Move it up, sir!
Move it out! Let's go!
Hey, what happened
to your parrot?
How could you possibly
care about something
like that now?
Giant spiders
are trying to kill us.
I didn't think
you guys were serious
about these.
Well, of course
we're serious.
Oh, they took out
the Blue Oyster.
I love that place.
Jack, just get us
downtown.
How is this even
possible? How is
this happening?
Well, you know,
just last week,
they found a new species
of wasp in the Chinese jungle,
eight-inch wingspan,
four-inch stinger.
Well, these things
are a lot bigger
than eight inches!
I'm just saying.
New species, my ass.
This is that
Japanese radiation leak
making its way over.
Guys, let's stop
discussing biology!
Get me downtown
so I can get my son!
Come on.
We gotta go faster.
Come on.
I can't. I can't
go any further.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I need to sit down.
Okay. Whoa.
Sit down.
It hurts so bad.
What, is it too tight?
Uh-huh.
Okay. Let me see.
Let me see.
Okay, come on.
Oh, God. Ohh!
Oh, my God.
Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up. Hey, shut up.
Shut up. It's fine.
It's not that bad.
Are you freaking
kidding me?
She's too young
to die, bro.
Shut up.
Calm down. Calm down.
We can't panic
right now, okay? Calm down.
You can't freak out
on me right now, okay?
Come on.
I gotta get to the roof.
Man,
you can't leave us.
Just stay
with her, man.
We gotta try.
Whoa!
Come on! We gotta go!
Back! Back! Back!
Come on.
Come on!
Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
What the hell is that?
What the hell?!
Lava! Lava!
Why are we stopping?
Something's wrong.
This is gonna get bad
really, really fast.
Let's get out of here.
We're not going anywhere.
Ah, man,
these were brand-new.
Uh, fellas, look!
That's not good.
Holy--
Oh, that's bad.
I had a feeling
this was gonna happen.
Oh, hey, Colton,
any ideas?
What do we do?
What do we do?
Man, I hate being right.
Get in the museum!
Why the museum?
Because that's
the only building
without spiders on it!
Not yet, but they look
pretty determined.
Barricade the doors!
Close them up!
Close them up!
Come on!
Throw everything you can!
Come on! Hurry up!
Anything!
Just grab anything!
Jam it up.
I got one more.
I got one more.
You feel safe?
Not even
a little bit.
No.
You got a plan?
Uh, run.
Run! Run!
Run!
Gotta get
out of here.
We're not
getting out of here.
There's spiders outside.
We gotta find
somewhere to hide.
There's nowhere to hide.
When those things want
to find you, they will.
Who are you?
I am Dr. Erik
Von Struebel.
I work here
in the museum.
What are you
still doing here?
I'm a scientist.
For good or bad,
these are
the kind of moments
that we live for.
Well, you're not gonna
live for much longer
if you stick around
here, Doc.
Yes. I am acutely aware
of that possibility,
but I'm not done.
Done?
Done with what?
The heat grid is like
an interconnected network,
lava tubes probably,
with the temperature
increasing exponentially.
So why didn't
anybody say anything
about this before?
We didn't see it coming.
It happened too quickly.
I mean, we're talking
five days ago,
and it's like,
"Oh, that's odd."
Then under a week later,
the hills are active volcanoes.
What should have taken
over a million years
almost happened
overnight.
So if this is correct,
this explains
why these things
are exploding
all over the city.
This city
is a ticking time bomb.
Wait. What does this
have to do with spiders
attacking the city?
Actually, everything.
When I compared the pattern
of the lava tube network,
it had a very close structure
to that of an insect colony.
So wait. They had
something in common?
They're exactly
the same.
The volcanoes
and the spiders are one.
The Mayans
had a term for it,
lavalantula.
And right here...
this would be
the queen's chamber.
If you kill the Mamalantula,
you kill them all.
Whoa.
We better go check
on that front door.
What are you doing?
Science class
is over, Doc.
I'm gonna go get my kid,
and when we're done,
you and I, Jack, we're
gonna have that beer.
You're buying.
Oh, that is so badass.
Wait. No, no, no.
I--I meant you're badass,
not I'm badass.
Guys?
Colt?
Come in, Evac 670.
What's your 20?
This is Evac 670.
We are westbound
on Forest Lawn.
670, turn around
immediately.
The Forest Lawn area
is highly unstable
right now.
Do you have
an alternate route?
Negative, just get
off that road.
What's happening?
Want you to stay here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. You can't
just leave us here.
All right.
I want you to get down,
and I want you
to stay down.
- This should keep you safe.
- On your six!
I'm not good at staying down.
If you want
to live, you get that ass
under that fire blanket.
Really need to curse.
Get down!
This place is like
a freaking maze.
I think there's
a stairwell right there.
Oh, you think?
These things
don't give up.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Keep your voice down.
Come on. Come on.
Okay, come on.
Come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.
God.
I think it's gone.
Run! Go! Go!
You got her?
You got her?
Come on! Here it comes!
What the hell
are you doing?
I got this!
I got it!
How'd you know
that was gonna work?
I didn't!
Go!
There's too many
of them, man!
We gotta get
these civilians
out of here.
They breathe fire, man.
Yeah,
I can see that.
Now they're
closing in.
We are not
going down
like this.
Do you have a shot?
Yeah.
Run!
We gotta move now, man.
Yeah, and do what?
We gonna head back
to the city?
Well, we can't go
this way, man.
Yeah, but we need
reinforcements.
Man, we are
the reinforcements!
Clever girl.
Oh, no.
Oh! Eww, eww, eww.
Oh, my God.
Key.
Oh.
Evac 670,
can you read me?
Hello?
Did you copy
the last transmission?
Get off Forest Lawn.
All your men are gone.
Everyone is dead.
Do you hear me?
Who is this?
My name is Olivia West.
I'm the sole survivor.
Well, please be advised
to get out of
Los Angeles immediately.
Yeah. Well, thanks
for the great advice,
but I can't
really do that.
My family is
still here in L.A.
Repeat. Los Angeles
is highly unstable
right now.
Why don't you give me
some good information,
like where's
the fricking key?
There is no key, ma'am.
Flip two switches marked
"battery" and "run."
You're advised
to get out as soon
as possible.
Not without my family.
Come on.
You still with us?
How you doing?
How you doing, Jordan?
Jordan!
Jordan!
Jordan!
Jordan.
Whoa, whoa.
She's freaking out, man.
Jordan, come on.
Come on.
Jordan, look at me.
Look at me.
Water, water.
Get some water.
From where?
I don't know, man.
Jordan, look at me.
No, come on.
Jordan! Jordan!
Jordan! Jordan!
Come on.
Stay with us.
Come on.
Jordan.
What the--
Is she dead?
I don't know.
Jordan! Jordan!
Ho. Dude.
Jordan.
What's happening?!
No! No!
What's happening?!
Oh, my God!
Make it stop!
Oh, my God!
What the...
No! No!
Get 'em off me, man!
No! Ahh!
No! No! Ahh!
Come on. Come on.
Right.
Where are you?
My phone.
My phone's working.
It's from Wyatt.
Heh.
He's trapped.
He's at Hanson Studios.
It's at Seventh and Olympic.
We gotta get there.
Hey, guys.
That is
a very large arachnid.
The freaking kraken.
And it's coming
this way.
Get back!
Lavalantula!
Ah, no!
Ah! Ah, look!
Oh!
They're in here!
They're all in here!
Ah! Oh, no!
Let's go this way.
Oh, no!
C-Come on.
Yes.
Too many of 'em!
We gotta get
out of here!
Jack, watch it!
Watch out!
Watch out! No!
Jack!
Want some of this?
You got this.
Come on!
Let's get
out of here.
Get out of here!
Though that door.
Could there
be a prehistoric link
to these spiders?
That's what's trending
on social media
after scientific reports
date these arachnids
back to the Jurassic era.
Meanwhile, mid-Wilshire
is the latest hot spot,
where the famed
La Brea Tar Pits
have been decimated
by dozens of lavalantulas.
And at the center of it all,
action hero Colton West.
Colton?
Eyewitnesses say he saved
dozens of people
on Hollywood Boulevard.
Doc, you okay?
You okay?
You hurt?
What?
Are you hurt?
Are you
bleeding anywhere?
I can't hear you!
I think I lost my hearing.
No, you didn't.
Huh?
It's a helicopter!
Looks like
you're wrapped, kid.
You're going
back to Des Moines.
You're not coming with us?
No. I gotta find my kid.
I hope you find him.
Yeah.
I better, or my wife
will kill me.
You saved my life.
No. No, no.
We saved each other.
Kid.
Huh?
You can let go.
No, no, no.
Let go of me.
No. No, no, no.
Okay.
Okay.
Go.
Sorry.
Movie talk.
Movie talk.
Movie talk.
You're crazy for staying.
Yeah, of course
I'm crazy. I'm an actor.
Good point.
I printed out a thermal map
of Los Angeles.
The orange bits
are the lava tubes.
Stay away from them
if you can.
Thanks, Doc.
Be safe.
Be safe.
Okay. Okay.
Come on. Come on. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
You want some of this?
Yeah, come on! Come on!
It's Christmas.
I got something for you,
a little present
for you. Come on, guys.
Come on.
Colton!
Get in!
Ah, honey.
Come on.
Drive straight.
Drive straight.
Okay.
Ahh!
What were you doing
at the Tar Pits?
Trying to find our son.
I got stuck.
Stuck?
Who gets stuck
at the Tar Pits?
I mean,
Wilshire Boulevard,
really?
Everyone knows you
take Olympic downtown.
Thanks, honey.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm okay,
'cause I'm seeing you.
How'd you find me?
After 15 years of
putting out your fires,
I'm gonna just
follow the smoke.
Really?
No.
You're all over
the news.
Ah. So I got
a text from Wyatt.
He's okay.
You did?
Yeah.
He's at Hanson Street
Studios.
Hanson Street.
Yeah.
Pretty ironic, huh?
Yeah.
That's where
we first met.
Heh.
You remember?
Oh, honey, yeah,
of course I remember.
Really?
Yes.
That's so romantic.
I love you, honey.
I love you, too.
Let's get downtown.
We'll get Wyatt,
get the hell out
of this city before it goes.
Mayday! Mayday!
This is Evac 670,
Colton West.
We need help.
This is an emergency.
Mayday! Mayday!
Please come in.
Listen. Listen.
They're saying
something.
The authorities are overwhelmed
trying to battle these spiders
and evacuate citizens.
We keep getting new reports
of lavalantulas
erupting from beneath
the ground, spewing fire,
and wreaking havoc
all over the Los Angeles basin.
Nowhere seems to be safe.
Evacuation efforts
have been halted,
and everyone is advised
to stay in place--
I've heard enough.
Come on.
Here--Here I come, son!
Stay away from my kid!
Olivia! Get down, honey!
Mom! Dad!
Wyatt, get down!
Get down!
Wyatt! Get down!
Get down!
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Honey. Honey.
Dad!
Ho ho. My boy.
Mom!
Oh, thank God.
Why do you have
a military truck?
You know your mom.
She likes
everything big.
Yes, I do.
You okay?
Are you all right?
Did you check yourself?
Are you bleeding anywhere?
No, I'm good.
I'm good.
What about
the others?
Are they okay?
They didn't make it.
What?
I know. I know.
How on Earth
did you stay alive?
This.
It's 'cause I sprayed
them with this,
and they hate it.
Just a fire
extinguisher?
No, honey. This is...
compressed nitrogen.
Y-You have more of these?
That's the last one.
Nitrogen.
What?
There's shops around here.
Shop?
You want to shop?
No, honey, this nitrogen,
this is what almost killed me
this morning on the set.
This is
gonna keep us alive.
We gotta get
out of here.
We really gotta go.
Yeah, and even if we do,
these spiders aren't
just gonna let us leave.
Dad, we're gonna
have to fight.
And that's what
we're gonna do, son.
Come on!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
just moments ago, the President
of the United States
declared the L.A. basin
a disaster zone.
I can tell you the situation
has gone from bad to worse.
The Santa Monica Mountains
continue to destabilize.
We're showing you
live footage from Malibu,
where the latest eruption
has occurred.
Several freeways
have been severely damaged,
leading authorities to advise
everyone to stay in place.
This map shows the damage
spread across the L.A. basin,
but in the midst
of all this chaos,
there are selfless acts
of heroism
as reported
by our own Lisa Miller.
Uh, yeah. I just wanna say
that I wouldn't
be standing here if it
wasn't for Colton West.
He's a real-life
action hero.
Well, I'm sure
he had some help.
Did you know he
used to be an actor?
Colton West,
he save my life.
You super action.
Well, there you have it.
In the stranger
than fiction category,
and in the midst of
the biggest catastrophe
this city
has ever seen,
a motion-picture
action hero
might very well be
a real, live
action hero.
Back to you.
Thank you, Lisa.
Has he lost his mind?
Who the hell's
calling here?
If it's a spider,
don't answer it.
Who is it?
It's Colton West.
What?
What?!
Wyatt, Olivia,
get in here.
Come in here.
Oh, Colton.
Colton West, man,
you are all
over the news.
Teddy, what are you
still doing here?
We left the set
same time you did.
Then all hell
broke loose.
Freeways
are shut down,
and those spiders
are killing anything
that moves.
I know. There's no getting
in and out of L.A. now.
Well, our boys over
at the studio wings
said that they have
some helicopters.
They were supposed
to be on their way,
but they didn't show up,
and we haven't
been able to get ahold
of them since.
Bigger question is,
what are you doing here?
I got a plan.
Heh heh.
You've always got
a plan, Colton West.
Is this the original
Red Rocket?
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
NASA made
that suit.
Ah, the days
of the big budgets.
Mm, mm, mm.
Son, this suit, this helmet,
it paid for our house,
paid for the clothes
you're wearing, your education.
Paid for everything.
So why do you
still keep 'em?
Well--
Because I'm a sucker
for nostalgia.
Yeah.
How you doing,
young man?
I always thought one day
we'd make a sequel.
Well, if things
ever get normal,
maybe he'll fly again.
I wish we could all
fly away from here.
We're gonna make a break
for it, Colt. You with us?
No. You're not
going out there.
I wouldn't count
on the military.
They're sending in
a ground evac,
but who knows when
that's gonna happen?
So we're all
just sitting ducks?
No, Ted,
I'm not a sitting duck,
and neither are you.
We're not giving up.
I love your attitude,
baby, but the fact is--
Marty, I've been
in this town for 30 years.
It has not killed me.
It's not gonna kill me now.
Now, Wyatt said
this kept him alive.
Nitrogen. You used it
on the set today,
weren't you?
You used this on them?
Yeah.
It worked?
Son of a gun.
Do you have
any more?
How much
are we talking?
And what do you have
in mind, Colt?
I need a map of downtown.
All right.
This is their nest.
This is how
they get around.
This is where
they come out.
It's all over L.A.
Right here,
this large chamber,
that's where
the queen is.
Okay.
If this map is accurate--
and it is--
that's no more than
just a few blocks away.
That's right.
Those canisters
of liquid nitrogen,
we need to wrap
bombs around them.
Can you do that?
I still have
a few dozen sticks
of C-4 around.
I don't see that
as a problem.
And we could
detonate them
by remote.
Can you do that?
Not a problem.
If we make enough
of these canisters
and drop them down
in the open craters,
then we can
detonate them,
and we can smoke
this queen right
out of the nest.
Can you do that?
Not a problem.
Not a problem.
I--I don't know much
about this sort
of thing,
but this queen,
she's gonna be
a lot bigger than
the others, right?
Yeah,
she's gonna be huge.
And really pissed.
So, what,
we kill the queen?
Where does that
even get us?
Oh, no, no.
What--What he's saying,
it's--it's
a hive mentality.
You see, um,
if you kill the queen,
you kill them all.
It's--It's like
on the Insect Channel.
That's right.
I hate bugs.
Let's kill the bitch.
Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight I call upon you,
the good people
of the motion picture industry.
It is you who works tirelessly
12, 14, 16 hours a day...
giving pints and pints of
your blood for our great nation.
Yes, some might say
it's just entertainment,
but we know better.
Our movies are where
the hopes and dreams
of this great nation are born.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm chagrined to say
that tonight might be
our last production,
but I beseech you,
please think another way.
Tonight is our opening night.
Tonight is the night
that we save our city,
our homes, our families,
that we believe in a tomorrow,
a tomorrow where the Lakers
have another threepeat.
What about
the Clippers?
Clippers, too.
A tomorrow where the Kings
sip again from the Stanley Cup.
What about
the Ducks?
The Ducks, too.
And a tomorrow
where the Dodgers,
only the Dodgers,
win the World Series.
Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight I ask you
to unify as a city,
above the line, below the line.
Tonight we draw the line.
This is your city.
This is my city.
I was born in this city.
I'm gonna die in this city,
but not tonight!
Viva Los Angelenos!
Viva Los Angelenos!
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, baby!
Yeah, that's what I'm
talking about, man!
Whoo! Whoo!
Al i run it off.
Okay.
All right.
I got this.
Colt. Colt.
Yeah, Marty.
Yeah.
Listen.
I've been thinking
about this.
Mm-hmm. Yeah?
The queen.
You've gotta get
really close to take her out,
and bullets
aren't gonna do it.
You need an explosion,
and you know what happens
if she explodes?
It's a death wish
for anyone nearby.
Okay. So let's
use a remote.
It's moving,
and it's very hot.
Who's gonna
slap it on, anyway?
And besides, remember,
this is C-4.
That stuff's
gonna go off by itself,
like it or not.
So how long?
10, 20 seconds tops.
Look, man, that was
a really good speech,
but, um--oh, oh,
okay, great speech,
but we're gonna need
more than speeches.
Just make sure
those bombs go off.
Oh, we will.
You both just stay
here, and you'll
be safe, okay?
Okay.
And, Wyatt,
I'm counting
on you, okay?
Okay.
You be a good boy.
I will.
You watch your mother.
All right.
Promise me
you'll come back.
I promise.
Okay.
Don't worry.
And how 'bout you?
You want to go
to a Dodger game
when I come back?
Yeah.
Hate to interrupt
a family moment,
but it's go time.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
I love you.
It's gonna be okay.
This is alpha.
We are nearing
the first drop.
The first bomb is away.
Roger that.
This is Bravo team.
We're nearing
the second crater.
Two is away.
Repeat, two is away.
We'll show them,
stupid spider,
good kung fu
fighting technique.
It is eerily quiet
on the streets of Los Angeles
as the greater
metro area smolders
under the crippling
volcanic eruptions
and the onslaught
of lavalantulas
that have been thrust up
from their nest,
decimating everything
in their path.
Now the residents
that were evacuated earlier
are long gone,
hopefully to safety.
Those who remain are
hunkered down under martial law.
Let me tell you,
even though this small area
might seem safe for now,
no one inside the city
and the ring of fire are safe.
Rescue efforts are
still being hindered,
so all of these brave residents,
all they can do is
sit and wait and pray.
Keep it moving.
Keep it moving.
Hey, man, I'm gonna
need some backup.
There's lots
of spiders here.
Don't worry, Teddy.
Cavalry's
on its way.
All right, now.
I'm here. Come on!
Come on! Come on!
I got something
for you and your mama!
Take that! Come on!
Ah! Ah!
I need some help here.
I need some help!
Full power.
Oh.
Oh.
Hoo.
Move it! Move it!
Oh, guys...
Come on,
come on, come on!
Teddy.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on,
you suckers.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
What?
They're gone.
Well, it worked,
didn't it?
Yeah.
Okay.
What's the plan, Colt?
Uh, you know
how we always say
that making a film
is like war?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, let's hope that this war
is like making a film.
What does that mean?
Means I need you
to plant those bombs.
Okay, but what
does that mean?
Means I need you
to plant those bombs.
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Colton!
Colt! Come back here, Colt .44!
Come back here!
Uh, your attention please.
Colton has gone rogue.
Everybody keep going.
The plan remains the same.
Repeat, it remains
the same, all right? Out.
What is he doing?
He's just being
your father.
I don't--
Keep moving, laddies.
We've got to win this one.
Freedom!
Damn it!
Marty. Marty.
Come in, Marty.
There you are, man.
Hey, where are you?
Exactly where are you?
You'll know in a little bit.
What's our status?
You got
those bombs planted?
Red 3 standing by.
Red 2 standing by.
Red 5 standing by.
R2, shut up.
I'm busy, man.
Standing by, man.
Great.
I'm counting on you,
Marty.
I'm counting on you.
We gonna be
all right, Colt.
You just make sure
you don't get dead.
Colt, I really hope
you're there,
'cause if you've got a plan,
now's the time.
Yeah, I got a plan.
It's go time.
Go time?
Go where time?
What--Where are you?
I found a little party
I want to drop in on.
Make some music, Teddy.
On my mark,
3, 2, 1.
We're rolling.
Oh.
One didn't go off.
Push it again.
I'm pushing it.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my...
Load up.
Load up.
- Yah!
- What the...
Yah!
Incoming!
Incoming!
Let's go! Go! Go! Go!
Go!
Take 'em out!
Over there.
Tighten the flank!
Tighten the flank!
Don't let 'em through!
Hold 'em!
Back up. Back up!
Hold the line.
Come on.
Hold the line!
Watch your flank!
Watch your flank, guys!
Tighten it up!
Tighten it up!
That's it! Spray 'em!
Ah...
What we gonna do?
How am I gonna spray that, man?
She's bigger than
the damn buildings.
Mama's home.
If anybody's got a Plan B,
uh, how 'bout now?
She's not just bad.
She's big.
Really big.
C-4 now.
Oh, you're kidding me.
What?
Where the hell is it?
I know where it is.
All right, Colt.
Action.
Unbelievable.
Let's hope this works.
Whoa!
Go! Go!
Let's go!
Go! Go!
Get out of here!
Run! Run!
Everybody, run!
No. No, no, no!
No, no, no!
Whoa! Ow!
Ow! Ow!
Steady. Come on, steady.
Whoa. Ow! Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Ow!
Oh ho. Okay.
Ooh.
Aah! Whoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
That's hot!
Ow!
Hi, baby.
Nice mouth.
And in breaking news,
while airlifts
are finally under way,
evacuating the rest
of the civilians from the area,
one man and his ragtag team of--
and you're hearing this right--
film crew actually
devised a successful plan
to take down
the queen lavalantula
and send the rest
of these creatures back down
to their fiery home thousands
of feet below the city.
That hero is none other
than Colton West,
who, against all odds,
risked life and limb
to save this still great city.
And all that this reporter
can say,
in the now infamous words
of Colton West, is nice job.
Oh, hey, buddy.
Come on. Come on.
Over here.
Hey, come on. Oh.
Come on.
Come on. We got you.
Oh, thank you.
We got you.
Ho ho ho. Step up.
You all right?
Yeah.
You still--Oh, yeah.
Aw, man. Ow!
Nice suit.
Yeah.
I'm really glad
you kept it.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Dad!
Dad! Dad! Dad!
I'm fine, my son.
Dad, I was watching
the news the whole time,
It was so cool!
My good boy.
Oh, he's a good boy.
You are crazy.
Oh, yeah.
You know that?
Oh, yeah.
Honey, I really hurt.
I think I broke--
Come on. Come on.
I think I broke my face.
Get him out of here.
Oh, I think--I gotta
go to the hospital.
But, Dad...
Yeah?
Dad, you did it.
Yeah. Yeah.
The West family did it.
Yeah, we did it.
We all did.
I think I did
a lot of it,
but I think
we did it together.
I smell a sequel
coming on.
"Red Rocket 2"?
"Attack
of the Lavalantulas."
Ah.
Everybody gets a suit.
I want a suit.
Well, you could
put me in mine.
Ooh, I like that.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Yeah. Aw, yeah.
Aw, yeah, baby.
Red Rocket
in the house, yo
We thinking about
all kinds of Red
Rocket products.
Yeah.
Red Rocket tacos.
Red Rocket lipstick.
Red Rocket lipstick.
Red Rocket burritos,
Red-ritos.
Red Rocket shoes.
Ha ha ha ha.
Red Rocket rockets.
Red Rocket rockets.
Y-Yeah.
...against the Mamalantula
and lavalantulas
have brought an end to
a chaotic and terrifying day.
But many wonder aloud
if this is the last
we've seen of the lavalantulas.