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Lazer Team 2 (2018)
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[eerie music] [Woody] Space, vast, cold, beautiful, oh god! [dramatic music] 'Okay, rude.. Where was I? 'Space, the next step... ' Bloody hell.. It's gonna do it again, isn't it? Or maybe not, space... All right, this is gettin' bloody ridiculous. The fate of the galaxy, perhaps even the universe, has been tied to fragile beings of our small blue planet, the place we call home.. [dramatic music] [electricity zaps] Margaret, it's very important that the rest of the team hears this transmission. I don't know how long I can keep a clear signal. [alarms sounding] [Female on intercom] All personnel evacuate immediately. 'This is an emergency.. Structural integrity reaching critical limits. All personnel evacuate immediately. Uh oh. Mr. Scientist. Okay, I know this looks bad. [Vandenbloom] That's 'cause it is bad. Alpha Team's still inside. If we keep the rift open much longer, it'll tear this place apart. Just shut it down! I can't, she locked us out of the controls. [beeping] [suspenseful music] Come on! Hey Maggie, how are ya? Could you turn off the rift device thing? No. Um, it's causing a bit of a problem. - No, shut up. - Please. They're okay, they're almost here. It's just a few more seconds. We can't maintain this. It's too dangerous, Maggie. No, it's not! [buzz, blast] Okay, it is a little dangerous, but they're almost here. [suspenseful music] Look! [dramatic music] What happened? Where is he? [beeping] No! In the months following the alleged alien attack, controversy has surrounded the' Defense Extraterrestrial Intelligence Agency or DETIA. With Lazer Team disbanded, facilities in disrepair, and congressional funding uncertain, the future of the agency appears to be in serious jeopardy. We now go live to a press conference at DETIA headquarters where, hopefully, new information springs up. [press chattering] Oh. There's a lot of you this morning. They are all naked. All of them, big, floppy, naked parts everywhere. You can do this. As you know, after the Antarean attack several years ago, we have been hard at work trying to prevent future alien incursions. I'm very proud to present to you the Space Wall. [press chattering] Designed by our top military scientists, this wall will completely encircle the planet, thus keeping out any unwanted aliens. Nothing illegal will get past this wall. Only legals allowed. I'm sorry, a space wall. How is that even gonna work? Can't the aliens just go around it? There's a turret gun on the space wall. The wall will also be extremely tall, much too tall to climb. That doesn't make any sense. Objection. This isn't a courtroom. Overruled, habeas corpus. Next question? [press chattering] Yes, can you comment on the widespread power outages originating from this facility? That was routine maintenance. We were doing some regularly-scheduled work on our wormhole stabilizer. What, sorry, wormhole stabilizer? Why do we have this if it says classified? Okay, close your eyes, don't look. Guys, seriously, don't write that down. I see it in your book. 'Give me the page.. This is a disaster. [Vandenbloom] No texting, no Tweeting, nothing. [dramatic music] See, a simple wall would've prevented this intrusion. Name and rank, solider. Get lost. You got it. My name is Major Evelyn Kilborne. Effective immediately, I will be the new head of this agency. For the past four years, this ridiculous Lazer has been a huge wart on the ass of the United States government. Today, I burn that wart off. We are going to refocus our energy on the three things that American does best: guns, missiles, and guns. [reporters gasp] And you can rest assured that these hands are gonna keep our planet safe. No more questions? Fantastic. Dismissed. She seems nice. I think we'll be okay. [dramatic music] [Evelyn] Are these the remaining files on the Champion Program? [Vandenbloom] Yes ma'am, these are super classified. [Evelyn] Perfect, have them brought to my office. Hi there. I'm Dr. Maggie Whittington. I worked on the Champion Project before this. - Who is this person? - That's, uh... This is my lab that your men are rearranging. They're not rearranging, they're dismantling. Whittington, hmm, I've heard a lot about you. I'm giving you a promotion, reassigned to weapons development. It's actually a lateral move. Hey, soldier, this looks expensive. We got a box for it? [Vandenbloom] I'm sorry to see you go, but congrats. Please, take me with you. [Maggie] I can't go anywhere. The tools in this laboratory are the only connection that we have to the Einstein-Rosen bridge, and as of a week ago, I'm the only person left on the planet who knows how to operate it. Well, that's fine because as of today, this project is canceled. We're not dumping any more resources down some intergalactic rabbit hole. [Maggie] It's a wormhole and there are people still stuck inside. Dr. Woodrow is an important part of the team. You mean helmet boy? Terrible loss. You can't just write him off. Since you and Dr. Woodrow opened that rift, how many people have come back alive. He's not just anyone. He's a champion of Earth. He helped save the planet. He was never a real champion. None of them were. And now it's my turn. It's nice to take turns. Shush. You've had your play time, and now we're packing up your toys. I'm not helping you. Then I'll find someone else who will. [laughing] Who the hell on this planet is qualified to do that? Vandenbloom, heel. [tense somber music] [cheerful music] [Announcer] Nothing is as special as a shared moment, and when a moment's perfect, you want that special person by your side, but nothing can ruin a moment... like aggressive genital crabs. [screaming] What's up? It's me, Herman Mendoza, savior of the planet and star of the animated series Boot Group. Now, when I'm not fighting aliens to save the planet, I'm fightin' off pubic lice to save my junk. That's why I use Pube-ex. You want fast relief, trust me, the Texas Tornado. [ding] Annnnnd cut. Good, fantastic. You made me want crabs on that one. I'm in the wrong business. [Director] Right. So, we got one more shot before we wrap. We're gonna need you to run super fast. Okay, I can't do that. [sighs] What's up, buddy? What do you need to get through this? You need a bump? - What? - Need some coke? 'No, no, no.. I know some guys on set, what do you need? Some jalapeo poppers? - No, dude. Listen to me, if you get through this last shot and you knock it outta the park, I'm gonna take you out tonight and we're gonna party our asses off. Hey man, look, first of all, The problem is the aliens that I fought broke my boot while I was savin' the frickin' planet. Okay, I am so thankful that you saved the planet. Thank you for your service to humanity. A little over the top. Everybody, are we all thankful that Herman saved the planet? Not necessary. And we watched his clips on YouTube. 'We love him for it, yes? We salute you, sir.. For the record, nobody saluted, so. Here we go! Yep. Anthony Hagan, it's been some time. It has, it's been a long time since... I mean, what does someone do after they get to fight aliens, am I right? Yeah, it was a unique experience. Do you feel like your life has peaked? [Hagan] Peaked? Well... I know, I'd probably just fall into a deep depression, spiraling further and further down as the walls of isolation and emptiness clawed at my door.. Okay. Now, a word from our sponsors, Pube-ex. [beep] [messenger ringing] Hi, Daddy! Hey, Sweetie! How you doin'? It's Dad. I know, you don't have to be so loud, gee! Oh, sorry, sorry. Happy birthday, by the way. Oh, thanks, Sweetie. I can't believe you remembered. Yeah, well, when you're in college, you gotta keep ahead of things, right? [chuckles] How's the job search going, huh? Goin' great, actually. Yeah, I had an interview this week, but the waiting room was all filled with 25-year-olds. Probably a good thing, though, right? Make me more memorable. That's awesome Dad. Maybe you'll even make some new friends too. Well, I mean, yeah, sure, but I mean, I see the old team all the time, even your boyfriend. Hmm, right, my boyfriend. Sorry, I just worry about you, I guess I shouldn't. [Hagan] Yeah. Seems like you're in a good space. Yeah. I'm in a really good place. All right, well, I gotta go, Dad. I will talk to you later. [Hagan] Okay. Bye. Bye, kiddo. [sullen music] Yup, I see you guys all the time. [Max on phone] You have ought to make this work, right, Herman? Let that teach you how money works. No, what anyone says is zero, zero, Herman! Zero, like the hole in the lining of my bleeding stomach. I don't work for talent that can't hold a gig, Herman. First it was Dancing with the Stars and now a walk-on role in The Running Man. You dick! Johnny's got alimony to pay, Herman. Why haven't you said anything? Kl know that sound, Herman.. 'Don't hang up.. [groans] Oh man, why did we have to kill the one alien species that knew how to take these things off. Agh! Oh, whoa! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you or disturb you. You don't scare me. I ain't scared. [chuckles] I'm just reading this book. That's a menu. It's a book about menus. What do you want? Okay, I guess I don't really know where to start or how to put this, but... I need your help with something huge. Oh. [chuckles] You're a Boot Groupie. Uh, I'm sorry, what? I'm not sure I'm following. Boot Groupie, you watched my cartoon Boot Group. See this cute little cartoon guy right there and you go, "You know what", I wanna meet him in real life and sit on his face." 'Yeah, I get it.. See you guys all the time. You wanna take a ride on the Texas Tornado. Right? Be a storm chaser, all thrill, no bill. It's nothin' to be ashamed of.. There's a lotta you guys out there. But it's cool, I'll be gentle.. What do you say, we just clear out some of these beer cans and we can do the Kentucky boot grizzle. That's a move I invented, ' but we'll need some clarified butter. We can go to the bathroom, if you're into some freaky stuff. Hot today, how 'bout we take off our clothes and try to hold an ice cube between us, and whatever you wanna do is... Yeah, I um, it's funny that you're talking about all this sexual stuff because there's actually a little group of us. Oh, there's more of you? 'Yes, there's plenty of us.. You know, we're just gonna have a little boot... scoot, and boogie. Well, I like that, well, okay, whoa, oh, oh! So, anyways, that's actually why I came, was just to invite you. Okay. So, you're interested, right? Hey, are there mustaches in Mexico? I think so. Yeah, there are. There's a lot of them. Okay, yes, perfect. I'll put the info in your phone. I'm gonna give you the address. Okay, yeah, 90, throw in there. All right, all right, well, see you, whoops... Uh oh, hey hey. - Little guy. - How 'bout this? I'll bring him, we can have a threesome. [chuckles] Maybe. I'll bring a fresh one though. I think I already used that. I will see you... tonight. All right, I'll see you later. [laughs] [Herman] Upsettingly sexy. Ow. Still got it, Herman, still got it. [birds chirping] - Ah! - Shut up. - Ow! - Shut up. - Ow! - Shut up. [Receptionist] Zach. - Yo! [Receptionist] There's a lovely young woman here at the front desk.. She says she knows you. [Zach] Mindy, oh, send her in! Who's Mindy? 'Shut up.. [office music] [door opens] Oh, oh my god, um. Who the hell are you? You are Zach Spencer from Lazer Team, right? Nope, I'm Zach Spencer from Team Laser Hair Removal. What do you want? I just never imagined the Zeus cannon being utilized for this sort of thing. [Zach] Yeah, you wouldn't think so, but once I started losing juice, ' this is really the only job I can do anymore, and believe it or not, ' the NCAA wasn't lookin' to scout quarterbacks with no throwing arm, so again, what do you want? [Customer] Ow! Well, I am here for a client, someone who would like to get some laser hair removal done. Great, set up an appointment. This person won't come to the office. You have to come to their home. Because I don't do house calls. Listen, Zach. Sorry about that, sir. It tickles. 'Anyways, back to my point, ' they're willing to pay you double. [Zach] Double? [whispering] Ask for more money. [Maggie] Shut up. [Customer whispers] Triple it.. How 'bout triple? Yeah, fine, triple, but it's an emergency, and they need you tonight. An emergency? Laser hair removal? Is it a werewolf? Yes, just gonna write the address down here. Be there at 9:00 pm. Please do not be late. [Customer] Have a nice evening. Thank you. [Customer] How's it lookin'? Oh, it's lookin' fantastic. Ow! [Zach] Shut up! On tonight's broadcast, could your home be a ticking time bomb of death? Crucial information you need now [knocking at door] To stay alive. Right after sports and weather. Hey! - Herman? - Hagan? What are you doing here? [Hagan] What am I, I live here. What are you doing here? Oh man, so how many people we got comin' to this sex dungeon? Sex dungeon? All right, who ordered a smooth ass? Hagan, Herman? Wait, you did not pay for a two-for-one laser razor. Complimentary hair removal, that is nice orgy host touch. Orgy? What are you goin' to orgies for? Don't you have crabs? I'm just the mascot. Does Michael Jordan actually play basketball. Yes. Listen, I'll stay for the sex, just no eye contact. I know how it works. What the hell is going on here? I can explain. My name is Dr. Maggie Whittington and months ago, I received an encrypted alien signal that led to the direct brutal kidnapping of your friend, Woodrow Johnson, and I brought you all here tonight because I need your help to get him back. Okay, who the hell is this? Oh, this is my Boot Groupie. Ew, no. What? All right, everyone sit down and let me show you something. So, Woody's missin', huh? And he was never the brightest, unless you count the time when became the brightest. Can I ask, why did you all disband after Pegasus was defunded? You serious? I haven't seen these guys in years. They could barely keep us together to save the planet, much less keep us together to not save planet. Yeah, these guys are assholes. Thanks. Also, is no one gonna comment on how Hagan's doin' his laundry in sink like a poor person? [laughs] Yeah man, that's some serious divorced dad stuff right there. You know, Herman, this is actually pretty progressive. This is the way they do it in Europe. Oh yeah, what part of Europe, Syria? There's some refugees tryin' to escape from your laundry. Why don't you just grow up. [laughing] Okay, just forget I said anything. Look, your friend, he needs your help. Oh, what happened, did he get a corn dog stuck in his air vent again? No, he's stuck somewhere across the galaxy. The galaxy? Oh boy, here comes the exposition. I used to work for the Defense Extraterrestrial Intelligence Agency. I was head of Intergalactic Cryptography. Intergalactic Cryptogr..., aren't you a little bit young for that? Isaac Newton discovered gravity when he was 25, okay? - Ooh, diss. - Ooh, got him. Like you guys even know who that is. Yeah, dude, he invented Apple computers. That was Bill Gates, dumb ass. Look, after Pegasus was shut down, I was reassigned to work with Woodrow. Ahh, Woodrow. I don't sound like that. I don't sound like that, I'm a nerd. I'm not wearing glasses. It's, you sound, she sounds like she is. You should be. I don't know if that's racist or... It's nerd, you're a nerd, he's a nerd. Zach. You remember what we learned about lettin' smart people talk? No. We were trying to see what benefits we could derive from Antarean technology when, out of no where, we got a new kind of message. It was completely different and foreign. It wasn't Antarean.. It was coordinates and directions on how to build a rift. I think you mean a raft. No, no, a rift. Dr. Woodrow, when I finished the translation, I realized that this might compensate for the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. That's quite brilliant, Dr. Whittington. That calibration may be all we need to hold the particle flux. [Maggie recording] Thank you.. I think that we should celebrate. Would you, um, like to go out some time or we could even just grab a coffee. [Woody] No thank you. Coffee increases my need to defecate. And I feel like we should concentrate on science and not evacuating our bowels. Huh uh. [Maggie recording] I already evacuated my bowels. [Woody] I take caffeine as a suppository sometimes. [Maggie recording] Um, I'll have to try that. [Maggie] Moving on. [whirring] I don't understand. The magnetosphere should've held. I think it might be my fault. [Woody] Are you wearing the Antarean crystal? [Maggie recording] Oh, the gift that you gave me. 'I left it on your desk' so you could study the harmonic balancing properties. Right. Is something gonna happen in this or is this just a greatest hits of Woody not havin' any game? Yeah, is it possible to die from watching someone else's embarrassment? Okay, all right, fine, here's the rift. [dramatic music] [Woody] It's holding. It's a stable rift. Whoa! Day 343, Dr. Whittington and I successfully induced the Einstein-Rosen bridge, sometimes colloquially known as a rift or wormhole. We're using coordinates from a distant place. [screams] [screaming] What was that? [Maggie] The rift shut before I could get to him. A few days later, I was able to reopen it, and we sent a team to help save him, but all they came back with was this. They cut off his head! You killed him! It's his helmet. Your friend is lost somewhere in outer space. He's being stalked by a horrific alien, and you guys are the only people who can help save him. Woody got his helmet off. He took it off. Yeah, but more importantly, he needs your help. But more importantly, Woody got his helmet off, which means he can help us get our busted shit off too. That means I can get these boots off, fix 'em, and go on Dancing with the Stars. I can be normal again. But before that, we could go into space and fight aliens and be Lazer Team again. Okay, you know what, I really don't care what your reasons are, but we need to get going, all right, while I still have access to the lab to open the rift. Fine, but I'm not sittin' next to these two assholes for the whole trip, deal? Sure, deal. Son of a bitch, move over. I can't breathe. What is that smell? It's my cologne, Ode de Boot by Herb. Shut up back there. We're approaching the base. It's either there or up Hagan's butt. What do you want? - In his butt. - Face, no his face... [on TV] is more of a hero than anyone else. You're hoggin' the spotlight jackass. Oh. I think we stopped. [on TV] Everyone here is either laser... Hi, Ralph. Can you open the gate? Dr. Whittington, what are you doing here so late? Are you burning the midnight oil tonight? You know, I have some work I need to finish. But I don't have you on any of my registries for coming in this late. But Ralph, I just wanna put in those extra hours. Come on. [muffled yelling] What you talkin' about? You're like such... What was that? I think that... was your TV. [dramatic music] I got a little cutty that'll remodel a gas station. Woo woo! [laughs] Boot Group, classic. Boot Group, you know what I'm talkin' about? Who was your favorite character? That kooky landlord... Gustafson, do you know that I'm the dumbest? Boot Group. [laughing] Oh, doc, that doesn't deserve another season? It's all these educated types like yourself, but not you, you're a Boot Groupie, it's the ones who get up there on their ivory towers and they're like, you know what, Boot Group's not good enough and I think it's 'cause it stars a black guy, but I'm not gonna start that. You go on through. Thanks, Ralph, you're the best. [Zach] I hope you die. 'I'm gonna murder you myself.. I'm gonna cut you into pieces. I'm gonna throw you in the water. I'm gonna stomp your faces in with my boot. I hate both of you. I miss this. Here's your power problem. [beeping] Looks like the male end fell out of the female end, but you should be good now. [Evelyn] So, am I turned on? [tense music] No? [Evelyn] Wrong. Stand up, soldier. [slow funk music] [deep sniff] I know what you're thinking. She's a powerful woman, hell bent on pegging every weasely-face little man she sees. Weasely? I don't know if I would. (Whoops)!- [Evelyn] Sure, I've cited every type of combat known to man, but I still need care... and tenderness and the type of tantric lovemaking that's only possible with a man like you. Thank you for saying that, that's really... [slaps] Wait, tantric? Oh oh, all right. Yeah, back in the lab, okay. Ooh, what is this? Uh, it's a coffee maker. [Herman] Okay, an alien coffee maker. [Maggie] No, it's a regular coffee maker. Uh, hey, somebody broke somethin' over there. Do not touch anything in the lab, okay? There's a lot of important equipment in here. Yeah, sure, but how do you turn on the jet pack? [Herman] Oh, I think it's that button up top. [Zach] It's got a button, where's that at? [Maggie] Do no do that, stop it. There's gas in there. Please do not do that. I'm trying to take off. [Maggie] Stop that. Jump, just jump. [Maggie] Just shut up, all right? Listen, Woodrow made you guys new Lazer Team suits. These are calibrated to fit your body exactly. [triumphant music] Oh! Um, we don't typically shop at the Baby Gap. No, you got a shrink ray. No, they stretch. So, does it stretch over the jet pack? It's not gonna stretch over the jet pack. You're taking that off. Well, I'll take the jet pack off and put the suit on and then put the jet pack back on. No, you're not, you're not gonna need a jet pack when we go through the wormhole. When do we get our jet packs? No one, no one else is getting a jet pack, okay? [upbeat music] [glass shattering] [Hagan] Uh, another thing broke itself. Hey, you lookin' good Hagan. [Hagan] I think it's the black. - Yeah, yeah. - They say it's slimming. Oh, yeah, black don't crack, man. Guys, you guys look fantastic. Okay, so listen, this is the translocator. [eerie music] That's it? That little thing? Why didn't you build something cool, like a DeLorean? We're not time traveling. Don't let the size of it fool you, okay? It's gonna drain this whole place of power. It takes a lot of energy to connect two points across the galaxy, but for a smaller distance... I just have one little question about your space nugget there. How exactly does it create a rift? [exciting music] Ooh you. Well, that's cool. Oh, wow! That's some Looney Tunes stuff right there. Eh, I've seen better. Okay, well how 'bout this? [beeping] [whirring] Ah! [laughing] That's not that funny. Hold on a second. Okay, two can play at that game. [beeping] Dude, it's an intergalactic glory hole. Jeez, I can't wait until the day my daughter breaks up with you. Oh yeah, well joke's on you because she already did three weeks ago. Oh. Aw. That's sad. Oh yeah, is it sad that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life alone? [Hagan] Isn't it? Kid, you wanna talk about it? Ahhhh! Come on! [giggling] Never gets old. [groovy music] This seems like a lotta hard work. Tell ya a secret Vandenbloom, ' ever since I joined DETIA, I've been watching you. Really? That's, uh, sweet. I've been watching you with more than just my eyes. And, I'm promoting you... to just beneath me. Like, a real promotion? [Evelyn] Actually, yes it is. How does executive officer second in command sound? Okay. P When it's bright time' p Bring the dream' [gasping] [buzzing] Damn it! [suspenseful music] [groaning] [screaming] Okay everyone, the rift is stable. It's time to 90, single file. That's the size of the alien dong comin' through that thing. [Herman] Ooh, I gotta call my agent. Hey, Max, I'm not gonna make it to Bitcon. Where does he keep a phone? [dramatic music] Hand over the device, Miss Whittington. Friend of yours? No! Vandenbloom? Hey guys. Why don't you have pants on? It's cold in here. That was an order. I won't ask again. It's Dr. Whittington, and no. Back your shit up, G.I. Jane. You want her, you gotta come through us. Charge your laser, kid. [Zach] It doesn't charge, it just shoots. She doesn't know that. Just look menacing. What, you think I can't take down Lazer Team? Dad Bod, Baby Face, Flat-footed Loser. [groans] [grunting, crash, zap] Shit, I blew my laser load. [high energy music] Huh? [grunting] Sorry, kid. [Herman] Look out, Hagan. Oh, we've never had that before. Boot Group! [yelling] Oh oh. [tense music] I'm gonna really enjoy this. [beeping] [mumbles] [peaceful music] [groaning] [Maggie] Here, let me help you. Get off me, I don't need your help. Okay everyone, the rift is growing unstable. If we don't leave now, we may not be able to reopen it. [beeping] [dramatic music] [Zach] Crap. [Maggie] You too Hagan. Go. OK. [suspenseful music] [yelling] [groans] [yelling] [groaning] Where's Maggie? [dramatic music] You're not going anywhere. [grunting] I hope I don't have to do a press conference about this. [yelling] [splat] I found Maggie. [dramatic music] Oh my god. [epic music] I can't believe we're in space. I never thought we'd get here. Dude, no one did. I can't believe Lazer Team went to space in their second adventure. I wish Mindy could see this. [Herman] I wish my fans could see this. [Zach] Fans. [Herman] Man, I got tons of fans. [Zach] Ceiling fans. I hate to bring down the mood here, but there's a chance that this might be a one-way trip. Say what? One way, what does that mean? You can't get us back? You know, I never used this to transport five people, so I didn't realize that it would sap all the power. And you didn't bring any extra plutonium. It's not a DeLorean. But it could've been. We just have to find Woodrow, okay? Because clearly, he's the only one smart enough out of you bozos to be able to figure out how to make this thing work again. What do we do about her? [Herman] Ah, she's dead. [Zach] Yeah, let's just leave her. Yeah, I agree. [Maggie] Okay, I don't like her. Guys! We're Lazer Team, we're heroes, and we are not going to abandon a fellow human being. [growling] [suspenseful music] That's that monster that molested Woody. The Hentai thing? Yeah. Shit, I'm still out of juice. Here's the plan. We ditch this chick. When the monster eats her, we just make a run for it. Okay, but where do we make a run for, man? There's no where to go. Ooh, ooh, the vents, we can hide in them. I can't fit in that. I'll suck it in, NI suck it in. [dramatic music] [Zach] Oh, what is that smell? Oh my god, is that Herman? I thought you smelled bad on the outside. [Herman] It's not me. It must be comin' from somewhere else. [Hagan] It's your upper lip. Hey lady, how we gonna find Woody crawlin' through these vents, John McClane style? Yeah, and how do we know this isn't some kind of a trap? Look, I-I don't know if it's not a trap, okay? I don't know why Woody was brought here, and I definitely don't know what that smell is. At least 60% Herman. Come on. You guys are not helping, all right, and this is our only option right now, so unless any of you... [screaming] - Oh shit! - What's goin' on? The Hentai monster, it clocked her. Holy shit. Grab the helmet. Shit, go back, go back, it's comin' back. Go, shoot it with your laser. [Zach] Move back! I can't move back. [Zach] Go back, 90 back! Oh, hell no! Get your ass out of my face. Oh, good god. Hey! [Herman] Oh man. That was the worst experience of my life. [Hagan] I can breathe again. [Herman] Hagan, you ain't a half ass, you a full ass. [groaning] I never thought I'd miss the trunk. What, are you stuck in there? [Zach] No, it's Woody's helmet. His head's too fat.. Um, guys. Ooh. [suspenseful music] Hello. Oh, I thought you guys were. Oh, hey, are you lost? Because I used to be a police officer. Look, we're pest control. You guys have a octopus problem or somethin' in your vents and we uh, you know what, we come in peace. Come on, give it to 'em. What is that? I can't do the other one. What the? I can't do it either. [Herman] Neither one of y'all can do this? I can roll my tongue... Yeah, we're not stickin' our tongue out at these guys, right? Whoa! Lollipop Guild here doesn't know who they're dealin' with. Prepare to eat some laser, bitches. [beeping] Okay, unfortunate there. Uh, you guys are about to get your asses kicked. A'ight, let's just go easy 'em. [groaning] Maybe we took it a little too easy on 'em. Yeah, you think? [tense music] [clanking] [Arklosh] Greetings, oh champions of Earth. No way. What a pleasure to be joined by the famous Lazer Team. Antareans. I knew I smelled sore losers. Did you hear him call us famous? Yeah. I am Admiral Arklosh, High Commander of the Antarean fleet. Hey, look, I'm gonna be real with ya, these old guys here, they forced me to blow up your ship last time. I'm on your side. Guys, I'm gaining his trust. Yeah, but you're losing ours. Your interference of my ship is disturbing but will soon be rectified. But first, a little housekeeping. Housekeeping? [Arklosh] It's only going to sting a little. [Zach] Herman what's he doing, tell me. I think they might be castrating us. Castrating! [Herman] Yeah, I hope not! Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm good, don't touch my dick! Don't touch my dick! [screams] [laughing] [dramatic music] Are you guys okay? Am I okay? Hell yeah, I'm okay! I finally got this cannon off! What is that smell? Yeah, my feet might be a wee stinky. Smells like somebody just threw up five pounds of cheese. Hey man, you think Michael Jackson's hand smelled good after he took off the sequined glove? And he was the King of Pop. Huh? Aw, see, they're gonna try to be Lazer Team now. Don't worry, guys. It's gonna be okay. [All] Whoa! Sweet dreams, Lazer Team. [dreamy music] [grunting] What the hell is this place? A La Quinta, what you think? We're in some kinda crazy alien space jail. It's so weird to have my hand back. It's so weird to be in a David Lynch music video. I don't think it's so bad. I can hold shit again. [laughs] [Herman] Where'd you get a chair? It was already in here, along with a tire swing and these awesome leaves. [Herman] Leaves? Yeah, they're mine, so back off. Yeah, whatever. Y'all stupid, I'm outta here. Aw, shoot. Later. [groans] [laughing] [suspenseful music] Whoa. Look at all of 'em. [buzzing] [low dramatic music] [leaves crunching] Uh, hey guys. I don't think we're in a prison. We're in a zoo. What? If this is a zoo and they got us on display, they need pay me. I guess they're just collecting a bunch of different species for some reason. Hagan? Yeah, kid. Do you, do you think we're the monkeys? [grumbling] I'm afraid so, Zach. Nooooo! Wait, come on, calm down. Just keep your heads and we'll figure out a way out of this. [screaming] Aw man, we're never gettin' outta here. I deserve this. [Hagan] You don't deserve this. Yeah, I do. It's from all those times I went to the zoo and threw peppermints at the animals. Peppermints? Why didn't you throw something heavier? Because... peppermints make animals poop. Like, you go to the zoo, tiger's just laying there, throw him some peppermints, tiger gonna poop. Mister fox bein' lazy, throw him some peppermints, fox'll get up then, and then he'll poop. But one time, I threw peppermints at a chinchilla. Little guy tried to eat the peppermint whole. I can still remember his eyes. I killed the chinchilla. I killed the chinchilla! Okay, Jesus, where did that come from? It was so funny though. Can we forget about him for a second and focus on escaping? [male voice] I reckon I can help with that. [suspense music building] Howdy, y'all! - Woody! - All right, all right. - What's up? - Good to see you, man. [laughing] Bust us outta here, water boy. Yeah, get us out of here, so we can rescue you. [Woody] Glad you're here, Sheriff, Drunk, Football. Oh, right. So, you're dumb Woody now. [Zach] Yeah, lost his helmet. Yeah, we thought you were dead. We thought you got turned into space 900. What you been up to? Not a lot, been thinkin' about gettin' back into racin' dune buggies. Might get a pet snake. - But Woody. - Yup. Escape now, talk later. Knew I came to do somethin'. Came up with a plan and everything. Oh great, you made a plan? It's not my plan. It's his. God's? Nope, smart me wrote a bunch of notes for good-lookin' me to follow from time to time, like this one. Do this if Lazer Team gets captured. Let, library them. Here, let me see it, what does it say? Liberate, that says liberate them. That's a hard word. It's a tough word. What's that? Just read the next note, 90. Approach controls and press the button for their cell. [beeping] [dramatic music] Aw, turds. He's a real killer too. Aw, we're gonna die in here. Not that button, the other one. - Aw man. - There we go. Woody, you did it! I say, man, ain't nobody tryin' to hug you. Nice work, Woody, don't forget escaping was my plan. Woody, thank you, and I really hope you know where we're goin' now. Sure do. Catch up, idiot, they left. [suspenseful music] [Reporter] We now go live to a DETIA press conference where Lieutenant Vandenbloom has just taken the podium for a major announcement. So, turns out when you get made second in command and your boss vanishes through a wormhole, suddenly, you become first in command. Who knew? Okay, are you suggesting that Major Kilborne was sucked through a wormhole? I'm not suggesting anything.. I'm telling you. Do you know why? Because I'm in charge now, little whiny baby. Okay. What's, he a writer for Baby Boy Monthly? You know, a week ago, I wouldn't be allowed to say, Dr. Woodrow has been transported to an alien spacecraft and all of the members of Lazer Team are with him, but now, I get to wear flip flops to work, so you tell me. How do you like me now, Closed-toe Carl? Dad! [footsteps] Hey Woody, can you do this? Yeah, I love Star War. See, I told ya. Hey, Woody, we're real sorry we lost your helmet, bud. Oh, that's okay, I lost it first. How do you like the new super britches? Britches? You wear these under your clothes? Oh, I never take mine off. Makes bath time take longer though. Can't wait for you to meet my new friend. [Zach] Since when do you have friends? Oh! Ew, what is that smell? Nasty. Maggie! Maggie? Thank god, are you okay? [Herman] We thought that octopus ate you. Okay. - You okay? - Yeah. Did you find Woodrow? Nope, I found y'all. Ah, Woodrow! [chuckles] You... have a mullet. Aw, it'll grow on you. It grew on me. Well, your theory was correct. We were able to bring multiple subjects through the rift using the translocator. You're real pretty. Um, why do you sound so... Stupid? Redneck? Country? Handsome? Oh, okay. Oh, Woody never mentioned what he was like before the helmet. [Hagan] Oh. Your armor, it's all gone. What happened to it? Yeah, we lost it. The Antareans got it and they destroyed it. But not without a fight. Aw yeah, they were huge. I pulled this bone outta one of 'em. That's a finger bone. Okay, well, we just need to get the armor back because we need the smart Woodrow. He's the only one who can fix the translocator. Oh, that thing. I bet my friend can get that gizmo a jump. Wait, you have another friend? [growling] [yelling] Hey, don't be rude. Everybody, this is Duolos. Duolos, these are my pads.. [growls] Gah. Ah! Radio's a little outta tune there, Duolos. [grumbling] Apologies. I didn't mean to frighten the great Lazer Team. What the hell, Woody? Now you're friends with evil Zoidberg? [Duolos] Forgive me. My only intention was to reunite Lazer Team. You see, Dudes needs us.. It's the reason we're all here. Duolos needs alight batter, a quick fry, and some lemon pepper sauce. [tense music] I am Duolos, keeper of the Galactic Games. You should have a nicer office. I was enslaved by the Antareans eons ago for my superior calculation skills. Do you understand? Yeah, you're a nerd. We get it. Zach, come on. I am a Ludon, the last of my race. I've watched the games wipe out entire civilizations and many lives, many champions until the Antareans came to Earth and were bested by you.. After you replaced the fallen champion Adam, you didn't just beat you opponents, you beat the Antareans. 'This has never happened before.. You're welcome, spaghetti face. No thanks necessary. Thanks? You ruined the galaxy! Yeah, we sorta screwed the space pooch. How would saving our planet ruin the galaxy for everyone else? After your victory, the Antareans were merciless. They were afraid more planets would rise up, so they destroyed one after the other. [dramatic music] Including my own. What about the champions? You already met them. Oh, the snail! [laughs] We let him out. What? We let him out of the cage. It's one of the deadliest creatures in the galaxy. Oh my god, so wait a minute, the best day of my life was the worst day for the rest of the universe? What the hell, man? You brought us all the way across the galaxy just to piss on our parade? You need to finish what you started. Here on the Antarean mothership. Look, we didn't start this. We just trying to survive. Perhaps, but no other champion in history used the suit as you did. Champion armor is only as strong as the person inside it. By each taking a piece, you became something more. Well, newsflash Squidward, we don't have the armor. The Antareans took it from us. [Maggie] I can't believe you lost the helmet. Are you sure you don't know where it is? [Herman] Are we sure? It got incinerated, lady. I didn't realize that. You are the dumbest smart person I ever met. I have this bone. No, Maggie, it's okay. Smart me left all these notes for... No, it's all right. It's not gonna help. However, the Antareans have been working on an experimental suit of armor for the upcoming Bi-millennial Games. Ooh ooh, look at those boots! It's powered by the same crystal your translocator uses. [Woody] Oh, I've seen that before. Smart me gave one to Maggie. Yeah, your necklace. We saw it in the videos. This thing can power the translocator. Well, yes, but... Sweet, pop that bad boy in the rift maker and let's go home. Well, wait, don't you wanna put on the new armor? Forget the armor, if there's a way to get back home, to get back to Mindy, I'm takin' it. Maggie, crystal. Well, I, I mean, I lost it, I... You lost it? Calm down, okay. You guys lost your armor. Don't get mad at me. We didn't lose it, it got taken away from us and burned up. So basically, there's no way for us to get home. Well, if you put on the new armor and help me defeat the Antareans, I can help get you home. [buzzing] They're coming! Quickly, this way. [dramatic music] We either must go down here or down the ventilation system. The vents? No, no, you're not going through the vents again, no way. I don't recommend this. Oh, you don't recommend it? I bet you don't. Have fun in the air vents, human centipede. [yelling] That's not the playground. [Herman] Me next! [Zach] Here, guard this. You must help me convince them to defeat the Antareans. They must unite as one to save the galaxy. Uh, yeah. [dramatic music] [Hagan] What is this place? [Woody] Ew, you all think it's nuclear? [Zach] Aw, the radiation's probably gonna melt our balls off.. I don't think it's radioactive. If it was, our insides would be boiling right now. Just try not to get it in your eyes or your mouth. Ugh, gross dude. [groans] [laughing] [Maggie] Herman, just try to get it off very carefully. [groaning] Hey, it's good. What the hell, Herman? Oh, oh yeah. [Zach] What are you doing? Taste it. Let's check the flavor savor. No, Woodrow, don't. Oh, Woody, come on. [Zach] Whoa, mama. Uh huh, what do you think it is? [hatch opens] Did you hear that? Shh. [alien groans] Oh, shit. [groaning] [coughing and gagging] I hate space. Herman, what the hell are you doing? Did you see where that just came from? Hey look, guys, Michael Phelps eats chicken nuggets, and he knows what's in those, and he's one like 80 gold medals, so. There's not shit in chicken nuggets. Well, there's shit in this and it's delicious. [gagging] [playful music] Okay, I think this is it. Please let there be a shower in this room. Watch out! [dramatic music] Oh good, you made it. I started to worry. Started to worry? You sent us through the ship's toilet. A delicious toilet, might I add. Look at that. [inspirational music] [Duolos] I wanted you to see the new armor. With this, we can fight together and destroy the Antareans. When they are defeated, I will help you go home. But if we crack this open, we get the crystal out of it, we can use that to go home? Well yes, but then the Antareans will never see justice. Okay, there you have it. I mean, you guys are Lazer Team and we should help Duolos. [Herman] Well, of course we're puttin' 'em on. I mean, I got the second season of Boot Group. I gotta sell that pubic lice spray. 'Come on, guys.. Zach, come on, man. Put it on, shoot a laser. - No. - What? The last piece of power armor's the whole reason I lost Mindy to begin with. Let's go home. Okay, but Woodrow can keep the helmet on, right? Like the original armor, all pieces must be worn for it to activate. You're tryin' real hard to get me in that brain bucket. I just wanna save you. Save me or save him? [Duolos] No, no, this is bad. Woody. Woodrow, this is not what we had discussed. You know, I used to think that finding this suit of power was the most important thing that ever happened to any of us, but I gotta admit, it's brought us nothing but trouble and misery. We came to get Woody, we got Woody. We're goin' home. Well, you've made your choice. Obviously, you're just a waste of my time. They chose that, I have a meeting at the Cartoon Network next week and it would just... [growls] You are all cowards. I expected more from the brave Lazer Team. I wish you would have never taken the armor from the true champion. Your cowardice has now sealed your fate. [zap] [gasping] Duolos! [suspenseful music] So, I got the squid thingy for ya. You're welcome. He wasn't the bad guy. Oh no, really? I'm just kidding, I don't care. Kilborne, what the hell are you doing? I'm under new management. Thank you. Angry Earthwoman, please escort these pests to a better view of the destruction of their world. [laughing] What? Destruction of our...? Earth chose the wrong champion. Now, it's gonna pay the ultimate price. [dramatic music] This makes no sense. You're head of DETIA. It's your job to save the planet and help the champions of Earth. I am helping the champion, well, the one who was supposed to be champion anyway. Okay, what? [sighs] Of course you idiots don't know. DETIA trained two children from birth... Adam and Eve. I knew that beating felt familiar. My brother Adam died in the Antarean arena. Okay, is that what this is about? That your brother died? We were working with Adam. He was our friend. I can't believe he didn't die sooner. He was so sentimental and weak. And I got to spend the rest of my life as a plan B. I would've been perfectly happy just dismantling DETIA, and now with the Antareans, I get to take my rightful place as champion, but I'm playing for the team that's gonna win. [dramatic music] Okay, I read that situation entirely wrong. [Herman] Bit off on that one. [rhythmic drum music] Please, Kilborne, you don't have to do this. It's not too late. You're right. [suspenseful music] Now, it's too late. Why do you want that? It's useless to you. Because I know you want it. Now, we've almost reached Earth, so why don't you just grab a snack, enjoy the show, and then it's back to your cages... for the rest of your life. Later loser team. [chuckles] She said something about a snack. You guys know anything about that? [doors slam] Dark days for DETIA as they're funding has been all but completely eliminated. Sources say, a reclusive Lieutenant Vandenbloom had sequestered himself in an abandoned government facility. Vandenbloom! Mindy? Where's my dad? Where's Zach and what is this wormhole? I'm sorry, okay, I'm not giving away any more top secret information today. Come back next week. I'll buy you a froyo. Do I really look like somebody who can be bribed so easily? That over there is where Woody made the wormhole and then he was abducted, okay? And then Lazer went to rescue him and we lost all communication with them, and I think there's definitely no way they're coming back. Oh my god. They comin' back! I knew it! What? The translocator operates at a unique harmonic frequency. Right now, it looks like they're just beyond the orbit of the moon. [dramatic music] Congratulations, Lazer Team. We're gonna go down in history as the destroyers of the universe. I can't believe I finally got the stupid cannon off and I can't even get back to show Mindy. I can't even say goodbye. [Hagan] You know what the worst part is? She doesn't even know what's comin'. None of them do.. God, I spent so much time trying to go to space, but all I ever care about is what's back home. Everything I care about is right here. [footsteps] You guys, I'm sorry. What the hell is that? Come on, now, what are you, you could've beamed us back at any time. No, I couldn't. Well, yeah, I could've, but if we left without the helmet, Woodrow would never be the same again. I just wanted him to be his old self. But I am my old self. No, she means your, "Oh, Mary Poppins, "spot of tea," aluminum self. [tense music] There's gotta be a solution in here. Without my helmet, my head brain never comes up with the right thing to say. Now, I can talk from my chest brain. Margaret, I don't need my helmet on to know what you mean to me. [peaceful music] Oh, Woody! Woody's not gay? It's a nice moment, let him have it. [peaceful music] [dramatic music] I ruined everything. It's all my fault. No, it's not. It's all our fault. You win as a team and you lose as a team. Well, Herman, we sure do seem to be doin' a lot of losing. Like, Duolos said, when it comes to screwin' up big time, we crush that shit. But you know what? It may not be a plate of ribs, but win or lose, we go out to eat after the game. Bony ah . A peppermint? Just wonder how we're gonna split this five ways. Oh, come on now. Dude, that was the last mint in the galaxy. Not quite, A-B-A-M, always bring another mint. You kiddin' me with this guy. Don't worry, party's not over yet. 'Aw, come on'.'! [gagging] Just me? Guys, guys, huddle, huddle, come here. Look, they're distracted. 'We got one shot at this, okay? Maggie, Herman, you guys go for their legs. Woody, Zach, get your hands on one of those blasters. Kid, you got one shot at this, okay? I got this. [groaning] Or that could happen. Damn! Dude, you chinchilla'd them! [laughing] [Maggie] Guys, I have an idea. [dramatic music] [Arklosh] For your help in capturing Lazer Team, the champion armor is now yours. Finally, the real champion gets her armor. This helmet... doesn't belong to you. Now! [exciting music] [groaning] [blasters firing] [grunting] Zach, come on, same team! My bad. Lazer Team, suit up! It won't activate fill all the pieces are on. Quick, they're sending reinforcements! Ya think? Woody! Helmet! [groaning] [tense music] Woody! That armor is mine. Takes more than armor to be a champion. That's right, the champion does what it takes to win. [grunts] [yells] That was an upgrade. [triumphant music] You're welcome. A light sword, huh kid? I call it a laser saber. [whirring] [Zach mimicking whirring] Yeah, you know, you don't need to make the noises. It does that on its own. [Zach] Yeah, but it's more fun though. [laughs] [Hagan] Thanks. Maggie. Welcome back, Woodrow! Ooh ooh, yeah! Okay, this new armor is definitely different. Maybe we take a second, figure out how it works. Or just wing it. Or we just go with the usual plan. Let's just get the translocator off of Kilborne and get outta here. That Kilborne? Come on! I knew I shoulda stabbed her more. Yeah, who needs a plan? 'Plans are boring.. I'm just leader, what do I know? Guys, the one with the shield goes in front! [upbeat rock music] Wait, you guys, stop. Where are we going? Enemies incoming. Where? Everywhere. Lazer Team, form up. [blasters firing] Targeting on. Dude, this is bad ass. I can hit everything! Boot Group! [upbeat rock music] A little help here. I don't have a weapon. Hagan, try your secondary function. What? [beeping] [laughs] Look at that, kid, boomerang shield. That's way better than a sword. Bad ass, Hagan. Check this out. [laser firing] Yeah, that's pretty cool. [suspenseful music] They just launched an entire fleet of alien ships to destroy us, sir. Good luck gettin' past that space wall. That's no where near complete. What about the turret gun? Oh, that actually works, but we haven't tested the controls yet. Oh, we're doin' this. It's on that one over there. That computer? Okay. [tense music] The password's pewpew123. [Vandenbloom] Thank you very much. Kilborne's getting away. Keep track of her. We gotta find her before she destroys the translocator. [Hagan] Okay, everyone split up. 'Go, go, go'.'! [yelling] [dramatic music] Damn, I'm stuck. [grunts] Damn. Gravity. Boots. Okay, that should do it. [electronic music] Here they come. [dramatic music] How do you think Zach's doin'? [Zach screaming] [laser cannon whirring] Die, die, die! [laughing] Zach, there's four people on the team. You don't have to kill all of them. [beeping] [Vandenbloom] Uh! Get 'em, Vandenbloom. Yip! Yeah! Woo! Get back here, you little bastard! I think he's got that hallway covered. Ooh! [laser blasting] Maggie! Use your science. Get her! Oh, I am gonna enjoy this. [bam] Oh! Thanks, Woody, we were just about to... [Hagan] Yeah. [Herman] Get in to help. New feature. I got it, let's go. Oh my god. He's really doing it! [beeping] [turret gun firing] Here we go! Aw, awesome! [blasting] [screaming] [tense music] [Antareans over speaker] Oh shit. We have to move now! [dramatic music] Now, we only have enough power for one rift. We don't know how long until the dark matter ray is online. [Hagan] Oh, ship. If there's another laser in there, dibs. Why would you want another laser? 'Cause I'll have two lasers. [Hagan] Yeah, but then you got no hands. Yeah, but then I have a laser sword and a gun. You're an idiot. Take the helmet. Aw, guys, I'm pickin' up an enormous power surge. We don't have much time. Oh man, I'll you what, we are screwed. Wet willy. We could wet willy them. I think she's going crazy. Everybody, get in the ship. Oh no, I'm not gettin' crammed into a box with these two again. Well, it's either that or we're all gonna die. Woody, do you think you know how to fly one of these? Well, I did successfully open a wormhole on the hyper surface of space time, and also, it has autopilot, so yeah. Where the hell do you think you're going? Just slow down for a second. Lady, you got issues, one of which is not dying. Failures like you can't kill me 'cause I was born to win, and I always get my- [squishing] Hey, look! Ooh, snail! I'm glad we let that guy out. He's lookin' at us, quick... Hurry, shut the door! [doors slam] [beeping] [dramatic music] I actually just realized that I hooked the turret up wrong. It's been on autopilot this whole time. [Mindy] So then, what's he doing? He's playing a video game. Do you think we should tell him? Nah, let him have it. [triumphant music] Yeah! Woo! I feel I could call my dad. [Woody] Everyone, hold onto something. Hold onto what? Now, that we're actually going out into space, I admit it, I'm terrified of space. Well, you don't have anything to worry about 'cause there's no space in this ship. [suspenseful music] [yelling] I may have had to take out the autopilot to make room for us. What? It was huge! [dramatic music] We should really be wearing seat belts in this thing. Yeah, I had to get rid of those too. Okay, get ready, it's just a few more seconds until Operation Wet Willy. I'm still very perplexed by this plan. Just keep going straight, okay? We wanna get in the path of the beam. Did she say get in the path of the beam of the deadly weapon? Activating translocator. Got a bad feeling about this. [Maggie] And now! [blast] [explosions] [birds chirping] [laughing] I did it, I did it! That was me! I'm a hero! Yeah, it was all you, buddy. That was bad ass! That plan was amazing. All right, well, now all we have to do is figure out how to reenter the Earth's atmosphere without burning up. Oh, son of a bitch! [yelling] [Hagan] Aw man, buildings! [groans] [laughing] Lazer Team two, Antareans nothin'. It's just nice to be back on Earth where at least we have a little respect. Hey, give us our ball back, dickheads. Herman, pull. [blast] [laughs] Now, who's the dickhead? All of you, all of you are dicks. Well, you guys should be playing football anyway. Well, technically, on most of the planet, they are playing football. - Oh, Woody. - Shut up. Why do you gotta ruin everything? Stick with the team. [Woody] Basic geography, really. [Zach] Worst member. Hey, what's up? It's your boy, Herman Mendoza. Running at super speed makes me super thirsty. That's why I drink Boot Goop, made from a space age recipe, it's packed with chucks of flavor. Boot Goop, go from number two to number one. You won't believe what you're puttin' in your mouth. This product is not approved by the FDA. [laughing] Wow, Herman, that's great. Thank you, gotta sell that Goop. So, what's with all the logos? Oh, no man, these are my sponsorships. I make a little cash on the side. Um, does Woody know you did this to the suit. Say what? I don't need to run things by Woodrow. What do you think this is? [Maggie] Okay, well, I'm just saying... Oh, hey Mindy. Hey Zach. Long time, huh? Don't know if you heard, but I saved the world again. Believe it or not, I actually got this off while we were up there. I was back to my old self for a few minutes. That thing isn't what makes you, Zach. Yeah, but it's what makes it impossible to be with me, right? No, but one day you'll figure it out. [Hagan] Hey hey hey, everybody. Dad! Daddy, hi! Hi sweetie. So good to see you. Why does he look like NASCAR? [Herman] Hey man, I make $30.00 a week wearin' this. 30 a week? Did you do that deal yourself? [peaceful music] I didn't actually think that we'd make it back. I should've told you about the other Woody. No, there's only one Woody to me. [triumphant music] What does this thing do anyways? Oh my god! Was it just a button there? I can eat corn dogs again! I can blow out birthday candles. I can play the recorder. Shut up. [triumphant music] [Zach] Woody, what the hell? How'd you get the helmet off? [Woody] It's just like a button on the side. [Zach] Hey, where's my button? [adventurous music] Breaking news, we go to yet another press conference with Lieutenant Vandenbloom. Yeah, yeah, blam! Seriously? This guy again? So can you indeed confirm that it was the Antareans that, once again, had attacked us? Attempted attack, but I can also confirm that you're looking at the one man responsible for saving the planet. Uh, yeah, there actually have been many reports that it was actually Lazer Team and not you. Actually went out in... You don't need Lazer Team. You need Vandenbloom. Let me hear y'all, give me a little bit of that love. When I say Vanden, you say bloom. Vanden, Vanden, when I say Vanden, you say Bloom. Vanden, Bloom. [Vandenbloom and Reporter] Vanden-Bloom. Vanden... Bloom! Vandenbloom, Vandenbloom rules! Now that Lazer has battled aliens here on Earth and in space... I can neither confirm nor deny they were in space. Where else can Lazer Team 90? [sighs] What other adventures could Lazer possibly go on at this time? [suspenseful music] Travel. Time travel. What the fun' [upbeat music] |
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