Children, get into place.
You in the back...
In the back, stand up straight!
Get ready for the photo.
Children, please calm down!
Children!
The row in the back, stop moving.
Stand still!
You two over there...
Our teacher gave us
a funny assignment the other day:
"Tell me what you want to be
"when you grow up."
Nicholas, it can't be that hard.
Yes it can, if you don't know
what you want to be.
The other kids, they all know.
Alceste, for example,
he wants to be a minister.
Alceste is my best friend,
a fat boy who's always eating.
That's ham hock.
That's pork loin.
Those are pork chops.
That's pig's snout.
It doesn't look good, but it is.
The reason he wants
to be a minister
is because
they have lots of banquets.
At our house for Christmas,
we're having Granny, Aunt Dorothy
and Uncle Eugene.
At our place, we're having sausage,
turkey and chestnuts.
Later on, Geoffroy will work
with his father.
Hello?
One moment, please.
Yes, hello?
Geoffroy lives in a big house
with a big garden.
He even has a kidney-shaped pool.
Geoffroy's dad is very rich
and buys him anything he wants.
What Geoffroy likes best of all
is dressing up.
Since Geoffroy's dad works a lot,
it's Albert, the butler,
who watches him.
That's Clotaire.
He has a terrific bike.
It's a race bike.
Then why's it got a rack?
I told you, it's a race rack.
Clotaire's dream
is to be a champion cyclist.
Louis XVl was taken
to the scaffold.
Clotaire!
What did I just say?
Clotaire is bottom of the class.
A scaffold?
What's a scaffold for?
For making buildings?
Go to the corner.
He's always getting punished
or deprived of something.
When he gets his report card,
he's deprived of TV and dessert.
When the principal scolds him,
he says:
Your parents deprive themselves
to give you an education!
Of course, getting report cards
is no fun for anyone.
Nicholas...
"Undisciplined. Easily distracted.
"Could do better."
Eudes is the only one
who isn't afraid.
Eudes! "Quarrelsome and aggressive,
"in class and at playtime.
"Fair grades
"in singing."
My father never says a thing.
You know why?
I look him straight in the eye.
Then he signs it and that's that.
What kind of grades are these?
T o bed with no dessert!
I guess he must not have
looked straight enough.
Eudes says he wants to be a bandit.
I want to be a bandit.
Bandit! That's not a profession.
Yes, it is!
If there weren't any bandits,
your father wouldn't have a job
and you'd live in a shack.
Say that again?
You heard me: a rotten shack.
Rufus wants to be a policeman,
like his father.
But talk about goofing up,
he's the champ.
Hey guys, I'll imitate a monster.
Guess who it is?
Frankenstein!
-The Mummy!
Belphegor!
-Dracula!
The bogeyman!
My Aunt Germaine!
No! It's Old Spuds!
Old Spuds is our supervisor.
He's always saying:
Look me in the eye.
And potatoes have eyes too.
I didn't get it at first either.
The older boys explained it to me.
O ld Spuds likes to make us
write sentences.
my supervisors by making
"grotesque imitations
which are totally unrealistic."
Agnan is the only one
that'll never happen to.
Agnan is top of the class
and teacher's pet, but above all
he's a dirty rat.
Teacher! Teacher!
They're talking.
We don't like him much,
but we can't hit him,
he's got glasses.
You can't hit me, I've got glasses.
No one knows what Agnan
wants to be when he grows up.
Teacher! He's copying.
When Dad was my age,
there were plenty of things
he wanted to be.
He says that if he hadn't married Mom,
he would've been
a soccer champion...
a swimming champion...
Gentleman, on your marks,
get set...
And even...
A cycling champion.
World champion
of mythomania is more like it.
That's Mr. Bledurt.
Who asked you, Mister Busybody?
Go eavesdrop elsewhere.
The whole neighborhood
can hear you, loudmouth.
Watch it...
-What?
You don't scare me.
He and Dad tease each other.
Don't touch me, Ok?
What kind of sport is mythomania?
Go home!
And then there's Mom...
Mom! Mom!
One thing's for sure,
Mom always wanted to be a mom.
And I wouldn't want her
to be anything else.
You scared me.
I know why I don't know
what I want to be when I grow up.
It's because my life is swell
and I don't ever want it to change.
Nicholas
Based on the books
by Goscinny & Sempe
Who knows the story
of Little Tom Thumb?
Eudes?
He's little?
Yes. What else?
Rufus?
He's little, so he steals things
and runs away.
Not exactly.
Alceste?
He refuses to eat well,
so he's all skinny.
Not quite.
Nicholas?
O k, go ahead, Agnan.
Little Tom Thumb
was called Tom Thumb because
he was as little as a thumb.
He was the youngest child
of a poor family
who had no food for their children,
so the parents decided
to abandon them in the forest.
Luckily, Little...
Congratulations, Joachim.
Pass the word:
Joachim has a little brother.
Silence!
Clotaire,
what are you doing?
Come on, tell us!
I was fast asleep.
Dad came in and woke me up.
He was dressed and unshaved,
and he started to laugh.
He said I'd had a little brother.
And then?
He took me to see my mother.
She was at the hospital,
but she looked as happy as Dad.
And next to her,
was my little brother.
You sure don't look happy.
Why would I be?
He's always screaming,
but if I raise my voice
they tell me to hush and Dad says
I'm giving him a headache.
If I get anywhere near the cradle,
they tell me to scram.
How big is a baby?
About this high.
Then put your toys that high.
They'll make you
share your room with him.
No way, it's my room!
It's mine!
Put him in the garden.
We don't have a garden.
Then build one.
How about the garage?
Our dog sleeps there.
I wanted a bicycle, not a brother.
He'll steal your candy
and you won't be able to complain.
'Cause if you complain,
they say you're jealous and punish you.
Maybe you'll end up in the garage.
You're in trouble.
You didn't have any idea?
No. But it's true,
Dad was acting strange lately.
Like what?
Well, like he was real nice
to my mother.
For example,
he'd carry the groceries home.
He'd say, "Darling,
I don't want you getting tired."
One day, he even took the trash out
without moaning. That's unusual.
Mom?
-Yes, sweetheart?
How do you make babies?
Oh look, your father's home!
Surprise!
"For Nicholas, whose father
works so hard. Roger Moucheboume."
Mr. Moucheboume is Dad's boss.
Did you get the note
I left with your secretary?
What note?
-About my raise and promotion...
We'd talked about it.
We'll see about that later.
I have a little favor to ask you...
Mom and Dad argue a lot about him.
He's taking advantage of you.
Fine, then I'll just walk out.
Nicholas, pack up,
we're moving to a trailer.
Swell, I'll get my suitcase.
I have to admit,
Mom and Dad argue a lot.
Why didn't you have it delivered?
It cost more.
Look, where does it go?
But I thought you got a raise.
I haven't got a raise yet.
O n the little table?
I thought...
-Look, it's not sure.
O n the table or the dresser?
Then we shouldn't have bought a TV.
We're still making car payments.
Should I return it or set it down?
Don't hurry me!
I hate being hurried.
But things always work out.
Ok, put it there.
Well, usually.
Nicholas?
Yes?
Never get married.
-Ok.
Nicholas, I think you should write
Mr. Moucheboume a thank you note.
"Dear Sir..."
No, "Dear Mr. Moucheboume..."
No, that's too familiar.
"My dear Mr. Moucheboume..."
Hang on... Honey!
"Dear Sir", "Dear Mr. Moucheboume"
or "My dear Mr. Moucheboume"?
Don't shout! I'm in the kitchen.
"Dear Sir"
or "Dear Mr. Moucheboume"...
"Dear Mr. Moucheboume".
-lsn't that too familiar?
Isn't "Dear Sir" better?
-Then why ask?
Ok, write:
"Dear Sir", comma, new line,
"lt was with surprise
that I had the great surpr..." No.
"lt was with joy..."
No. "lt was with pleasure...
"that I had the great surprise..."
No. "The immense surprise..."
Why not "colossal surprise"
while you're at it?
"The great surprise...
"of receiving your lovely gift..."
No. "Your..."
"Terrific gift"?
-No, "your marvelous gift".
He's right,
"terrific" is more natural.
Can we write this letter in peace?
"Your lovely gift", period.
New paragraph.
"My respects..." No.
"Respectfully yours..."
Hang on...
"Respectfully yours"
or "My sincere respects"?
Put: "My sincere respects".
Then you sign it.
Nicholas, please.
Nicholas...
Stop it with that god-awful toy!
I'll never get that promotion.
What if we invited
the Moucheboumes for dinner?
Maybe your boss
would see you differently.
"One day, he even took the trash out
without moaning.
"That's unusual..."
Honey, I'll get it.
-Thank you, darling.
That's sweet of you.
Which cups should I take?
-Don't worry, I'll get them.
No, I insist.
You'll never find them, love,
I'll do it.
I'm going to have a brother!
-When?
I don't know.
But it's just like Joachim said.
Where is Joachim anyhow?
Children!
Stand in line and follow me.
Today you're going to have
a medical examination.
Miss! Joachim isn't here.
Yes, I know.
Come on now, follow me.
No talking!
What happened to Joachim?
It must be his little brother.
Maybe his parents abandoned him
in the woods like Tom Thumb.
Does it hurt?
You better believe it.
They had to strap us down.
I don't want to go!
I want my mommy!
Agnan, what's wrong with you?
Calm down.
I won't see the doctor!
If you see go the doctor
like a good boy,
I'll test you in math.
On fractions?
Yes.
-O k.
Ok, children. Let's go.
I'll show you some images.
And you'll tell me what you see.
Are you ready?
What do you see?
My father's car.
My father's boat.
My father's airplane.
Cough.
Very good.
Cough.
All right.
Cough...
I'm listening.
I don't know. I didn't study.
Just tell me
what runs through your head.
Should I say a date?
A date? You see a date?
I don't know.
"A date."
And here?
It's not me.
It's not you...
Ok.
And this?
What's wrong?
It's not fair. It's not me
who made all those spots.
Next.
Take your glasses off.
Take them off, I said.
Is this related to your father too?
No. It's my mother's coat.
Which my father bought.
Next.
Without the sandwich,
it'll tip the scales.
It's a little boy,
who finds a seed and plants it.
And the seed grows
into a little baby that starts to grow
and grow and grow...
Until it's a big giant
who catches the little boy
and eats him alive.
I simply walked up to him and said,
"Why don't you and your wife
come for dinner one night?"
What did he say?
-"Excellent idea."
"I'll tell my wife."
-I'm so happy!
Tell me, what type of woman
is Mrs. Moucheboume?
No idea. I never met her.
I mean,
is she the sophisticated type or...
I said, I don't know.
Don't worry, there's no problem.
But I am getting worried.
Everything has to be perfect.
What about Nicholas?
What'll we do with him?
Will he stay with us?
-No, it's out of the question.
He can't sit still.
-Oh my God...
I'm afraid already.
Here.
Nicholas...
You're not eating?
You need to keep your strength up.
How about a walk in the woods
next weekend?
Be like Agnan, start kissing up.
Yeah, buy your mother a present.
Like some salami,
or a nice baked ham.
That way, she won't have the heart
to abandon you.
No! You should buy her a ring.
That's what my father does.
It always works.
But I only have three francs.
Hello.
Can I help you?
-I'd like some flowers for my mom.
How sweet, she's lucky.
It's so she won't abandon him.
How much are roses?
-Three francs.
Great! I'll take them.
No. Three francs for one rose.
Can you lend me some money?
I'll pay you back.
I just have enough for a snack.
And you?
-I'm broke.
Sure. You just don't want to.
-It's my money.
Stingy rat.
-Stingy yourself.
You're lucky I'm holding the flowers.
Calm down.
-I'll hold them for you.
Don't touch me or...
Murderer!
Your flower is very pretty, sweetheart.
Clotaire was right,
the Agnan technique worked.
I did everything I could
to make Mom happy.
I even agreed to wear my blue suit,
the one I look like a nitwit in,
and go to Mrs. Courteplaque's.
Look how cute he is.
He's the one
who insisted on coming.
Let me give you a kiss.
Marie-Edwige, there you are.
That's Marie-Edwige.
She's very pretty
but she's just a girl.
Take Nicholas to your room to play.
What shall we play?
We could play nurse.
We'll pretend it's wartime.
You can be wounded
and I'll heal you
and save you despite the danger.
I'd rather play cards.
Ok. What can you play?
I can play "War".
I know a much better game.
Marie-Edwige's game
had very complicated rules.
For example,
she could look at my hand
and exchange certain cards.
But not me.
And the cards didn't have
the same value as usual.
She could take my king
with her three.
But...
-What?
There were penalties too.
Come on, giddy-up, horsey!
And I always lost.
It's sticky.
-Don't move!
Later on, Marie-Edwige's girlfriends
came over.
Hello!
Then the fun really started.
But at one point...
I thought I might have
to change schools.
Goodbye, Nicholas.
Bye, Nicholas.
See you soon, Nicholas.
Goodbye, Nicholas.
Well, bye.
Goodbye, Marie-Edwige,
I had a swell time with you,
you're very pretty
and I hope to see you again soon.
Actually,
I think it was more like...
I'm so proud of you.
Mom was very pleased.
But it still wasn't enough.
Tomorrow,
we'll go for a walk in the woods.
Nicholas. What are you doing?
Open the door.
Come on, open the door.
Open the door!
Very funny. Come on, open it.
Open this car door at once!
I don't believe it.
Open it, for God's sake!
Stop shouting, you'll scare him.
Nicholas, it's me, your mother.
Open the door.
Come on, son, stop being silly.
How are we going to get home?
Mom and Dad spent the rest
of the afternoon arguing.
I could tell that Mom
didn't want to abandon me,
but I knew
Dad would persuade her in the end.
I know what we'll do.
We'll form a secret gang
to help Nicholas.
What's a secret gang?
-A group of heroes.
We can call our gang "The Unbeatables".
We'll meet at the vacant lot.
-We need a password.
"lnvincible courage"!
-Yeah!
And only those who know it
can come in.
Children, get in line!
It's a note from my parents.
Pleeze excuze our sun
hoo didn't doo his homework.
Who wrote this?
Daddy.
Teacher?
-Yes?
Can we come closer to see?
-Of course.
Sit down!
Stand up.
Sit down.
Children,
I'm very pleased to announce that
the Minister of Education himself
shall honor us
with a visit to our school.
I'm counting on you
to make his visit unforgettable.
I turn to your teacher
and ask her to organize
a performance...
which I'm sure will combine
culture and pedagogy.
It will make a marvelous impression
on our guest.
Our teacher didn't like
the idea of a performance.
I have to admit, she'd already tried
to put on a play...
Come on! The zebras!
Go on. The zebra first,
then the crocodile.
There, that's it.
Geoffroy!
What on earth is that costume?
Geoffroy...
A parade...
One, two! One, two!
Half turn... to the right!
What's this?
Lines of two!
What kind of troop is this?
Lines of two, I said!
You're the shame of France.
You heard me,
the shame of France!
And even a choir...
But it never worked out.
Sorry, these kids are hopeless.
You see, it's just that...
It might make us run late
with our program.
Well then, have them recite a poem.
They've studied poetry,
haven't they?
Yes.
"The Crow and the Fox".
-Wonderful.
Let's see...
You, my boy, please recite:
"The Crow and the Fox".
I don't know it all
but it's about a crow
with Roquefort cheese in its beak.
It was Camembert!
It couldn't be,
Camembert is runny and it stinks!
"Master Crow, perched on a tree..."
That's enough!
Calm down!
Back to your drawings.
No.
Password.
-"lnvincible courage".
Password.
-"lnvincible courage".
"lnvincible courage".
"lnvincible courage".
Password.
"Terrible courage"?
-Password, or I can't let you in.
"Funny courage"?
"Terrific courage"?
First of all, we need a leader.
I suggest it be me.
-Why you?
I've got the nicest clothes.
The leader's the strongest!
The leader's the oldest!
That's me.
No, Clotaire is oldest,
he flunked nursery school.
If it's only to argue,
we could've stayed at school.
Hello?
One moment, I'll see.
Sir?
Yes?
-It's the ministry.
The Legion of Honor ceremony.
-What a bore.
Here. Find a date for them
next month.
Yes, sir.
"l have not yet received..."
-Your shirts, sir.
Thank you, old boy.
I shined your shoes too.
Where were we, hon?
"l have not yet received
an answer to last month's..."
Did you hear me?
I said I've changed my mind.
I don't want
to have the Moucheboumes over.
What? Why not?
-Because.
I don't have a dress or jewelry,
and I don't know how
to drive a car.
Darling, what's got into you?
I don't want to look like a dimwit
in front of Mrs. Moucheboume.
A dimwit? What do you mean?
Does her husband
drive her to the hairdresser?
No.
Does she take the bus? No.
So she drives and I don't.
-Makes sense.
Is her only fancy dress
her engagement dress?
No. Me, yes.
What about the green dress
you bought for Aunt Pelagia's 60th?
I wear it all the time.
-No, you don't.
Often enough, I'd say.
Is her only topic of conversation
her family and home? No.
She's modern...
-A woman of her time.
Brilliant and independent...
I'm just a middleclass housewife
who does the cooking.
I refuse to be humiliated all evening.
I'd rather call it off.
Very well.
My wife will be humiliated
in front of no one.
Tomorrow,
we'll buy you a new dress.
And some jewelry?
-And jewelry.
I can learn to drive?
That too.
-Oh, sweetheart!
How much would a wall cost?
"Courage..."
"ln..."
"lnvi..."
-"lnvisible"!
Ok, everyone will be the leader
of his own gang,
which includes members
of the full gang. For example,
Geoffroy will be the leader
of his gang, which includes
himself, Rufus, Alceste and me.
Rufus is the leader of his gang,
with Eudes, Clotaire and me.
Eudes is the leader of his gang,
with Geoffroy, Rufus, Alceste and me.
And my gang includes all of you.
Do we agree?
Do we agree?
Yes.
So, now what do we do?
I know! We'll clean your house.
We'll all come over and tidy up.
Your parents will be so happy
they'll have to keep you.
Be good, I'm counting on you.
We'll be home in two hours.
Less if Mom's gifted.
What's that mean?
-What?
"Less if Mom's gifted."
-I don't know.
Two hours, one hour, whatever.
You're insinuating something.
Don't start up, Ok?
-You started.
You assume I'm going to fail.
-No, I don't.
Yes, you do. I'm sorry, you do.
We have two hours.
Straighten up.
Straighten up, straighten up, I said!
You're flustering me
with your "straighten ups".
Straighten up!
Admit it. You were heading
straight off the road.
I was awfully impatient
for Mom and Dad to see
how my friends and l
had cleaned the house.
Ok, I'll pay for driving lessons.
I realized I'd never be able
to make them happy.
So I decided to run away from home.
I packed up everything
I thought I might need,
and I left.
I wanted to go a long way away,
like to China or Arcachon.
Mom and Dad would be very sorry
and they'd miss me.
But I'd only come back after years,
when I was captain of a warship
and I earned lots of money.
I'd take them to the movies
and people would say:
"Look, Nicholas has lots of money.
"He takes his Mom and Dad
to the movies,
"even if they were mean to him."
You chickened out.
-I thought it over. Not the same!
It's not up to me to leave.
I was there first.
The one who should leave
is the baby!
So when it gets here...
we'll get rid of it.
How?
-We could sell it to the SPCA.
They only take animals, you idiot!
We'll abandon it
in the jungle to wolves.
Albert read me a story like that.
No, the jungle is too far.
We'll hide it in a hut
and raise it in secret.
We'll take turns feeding it.
I can only go out on Thursdays.
Me too.
Me too, except if I'm punished.
Which is often.
We can leave food for it.
My aunt does that with her cat.
No way! Babies aren't like cats,
they can't feed themselves.
I heard everything.
What did you hear, you dirty rat?
You want to take Nicholas' baby
and hide it in the jungle
and feed it cat food.
I'll tell the teacher
and the Principal,
and you'll be in big trouble.
Unless...
Unless what?
You let me propose my idea
for the performance.
What's your idea?
Listen, we can't get rid
of the baby ourselves.
The police will find out
and we'll be in trouble.
The only solution
is to have it kidnapped
by a gangster.
A gangster?
Where will we find a gangster?
Sir!
Come here!
Come on, sir!
Come here. Yes, you!
Come here!
It flows into the sea,
forming a delta
called the Camargue.
Thank you, Agnan.
What river flows through Paris?
Clotaire.
Did you hear the question?
"What river flows through Paris?"-Yes.
What's its name?
Come now, Clotaire.
-It's...
Clotaire.
-Yes, miss.
Didn't your parents
take you on a riverboat ride?
What river did the boat sail on?
-The Seine.
Go on now.
"Based on alliteration,
syllable counts,
"or accents, Skaldic poetry,
"developed by lcelander
Snorri Sturf..."
I can't say that one.
Then don't say it.
-No funny comments.
Snorri Sturluson...
"Developed
by lcelander Snorri Sturluson
"is essentially a question of style
where literal meaning
"is replaced by periphrases
and metaphors."
Another one. On music.
I doubt Mrs. Moucheboume
will want to discuss music
after your talk on 13th century
Scandinavian poetry.
I think she'll be delighted
to discover a cultivated person
who can hold a conversation
while the men talk business.
Go on.
"Baroque style."
"From the Portuguese word barroco
meaning misshapen pearls..."
Hey guys!
Look!
Blind Jack!
BLlND JACK ON THE RUN!
That's who we need.
Are you finished!
Jailbirds!
Cossacks!
Everyone get in line.
Move it.
Boys,
your teacher will be away
for a few days.
A substitute teacher, Miss Navarrin,
will replace her.
Here she is.
Geography. The rivers of France.
Sit down.
Silence!
Very well.
I see that today's lesson
was to be on rivers.
I'll start by testing
your level of knowledge
on the subject.
But first,
we must hang the map up.
Who'd like to do that?
Sit down!
I'll decide who hangs the map.
You, back there.
What's your name?
Clotaire, miss.
You seem less unruly
than the others.
Hang the map up.
But, miss...
Silence!
I see we have a little rebel.
Let me tell you,
I show little rebels who's boss.
Is that clear?
You, recite your lesson
on the Seine River.
The source of the Seine
is in Burgundy,
it's 776 km long
and flows into the English Channel.
Very good. And you?
Its tributaries are
the Aube, Marne, Oise and Yonne.
Very good.
Now you, the comedian.
Mister Rattle Mouth,
what else can you tell me?
I see you have
nothing intelligent to say.
To the corner.
That'll teach you to show off.
What are you waiting for?
It's because he's not used to it.
I'll show him how.
Thank you, Hilaire.
"Gambert, Ganguin, Gangsain..."
There's nothing under "Gangster".
-Try "Blind".
"Blind, Jack." I found it!
JACK'S GARAGE
Blind Jack?
-Hang on.
Jack! It's for you!
See if he can take care of
the new teacher too.
Hello?
-Blind Jack?
Yes, that's me.
It's for a removal.
Can't we deal with it
on the spot?
"On the spot?"
Yeah, fix it...
right there, on the spot.
No! We want it taken away,
that's all.
That's all!
I'll have to get my hands in it.
"ln it"?
-Yeah, strip the body down.
If I have to come get it...
it's 500 francs minimum.
We'll call you back.
What did he say?
-Tell us!
What did he say?
He wants 500 francs to strip the body.
I knew it,
gangsters are all crooks.
What about the new teacher?
O h my, these chocolates are old.
Don't touch this, honey,
it's like poison.
TEACHERS' ROOM
Yes.
-It's a present for you.
How sweet.
Thank you.
A maid?
-Yes, a maid for the dinner.
I can't leave poor Mrs. Moucheboume
by herself while I cook.
It's more elegant, don't you agree?
For the dinner menu, I was thinking
of lobster with mayonnaise.
You know how much that costs?
Eighty francs a kilo.
Listen...
The mayonnaise is a good idea.
But for the rest,
can't we do something simple?
-You know, casual.
"Casual".
I can make ham sandwiches
and we'll eat in front of the TV.
I spent the whole night thinking about
how to find 500 francs
for the kidnapping.
But the next day at school,
Geoffroy showed up with something
I'd never seen before.
How does it work?
-You got any change?
Pick a number
and put your coin on it.
I spin the wheel and throw the ball...
And you lost.
That's how we'll make money.
We'll get adults to play
for big stakes.
What are you up to?
You're playing roulette!
For money on top of it!
Haven't your parents told you
gambling leads to ruin and prison?
Silly fools!
Give that to me.
I'm confiscating this game.
I don't approve of parents
buying such things.
Everyone line up for class.
Boys,
I have more bad news for you.
Your substitute teacher,
Miss Navarrin, has fallen ill.
She won't be at school today.
BOY KlLLS SCHOOLTEACHER
The jury finds the defendant guilty!
On top of it, he's a dirty rat.
Agnan, what's wrong?
You can't hit me, I wear glasses.
Like I said, Miss Navarrin
caught a cold and has to stay home.
You'll stay in your classroom
like good boys.
One of your friends will look after you.
Someone I can trust.
We were supposed
to have math today.
O pen your books
and we'll do some problems.
Are you crazy?
Be quiet! I'm in charge!
Who does the rat think he is?
Silence! Eudes, to the corner!
You'll eat your math book.
No, I wear glasses.
You'll eat them too!
-Geoffroy!
What?
-We have to get the roulette.
But how?
DOWN WlTH TEAC...
"Down with teachers"?
"Down with teacups".
I'm the Queen of England.
Let's see the Principal.
Rarely in my career,
have I encountered
such blatant provocation.
I'm worried about you, my friend.
What do you suggest,
Old Sp... Mr. Dubon?
I suggest writing 300 times:
"l will not write disgraceful
inscriptions on my school walls,
"for education is devoted
to learning and spiritual elevation
"in accordance with
the values of the Republic."
Up to "school walls" will do.
You won't leave
before handing this in.
You hear me?
This way, ladies and gents.
-One-franc bets!
Try your luck.
One franc, sir.
Come on! You can win!
A game, ma'am?
Why not! If it'll make
you children happy.
How much do I bet?
Ten francs.
Ten francs.
Here you go.
What number should I bet on?
Anything you want.
"4"?
Ok, let's try "4".
There.
Ten on "4", let's roll.
I won!
I won!
That's all you've done in an hour?
Where is she? Where is she?
Honey, can you tie this?
I'm a wreck!
I haven't eaten all day,
I was too busy preparing.
Where is she, darn it?
Calm down.
They'll be here any minute
and there's no one to serve dinner.
There she is!
Come round the back.
And toss this in the trash
on your way.
What's that?
That is lobster with mayonnaise.
But it's not for little boys.
You're getting good old ravioli
and tomato sauce.
I don't want ravioli,
I want lobster.
Nicholas, that's enough!
Where is the silly goose?
Good evening, Mr. Moucheboume.
Good evening, madam.
My wife isn't here?
I sent her on ahead
while I parked the car.
Oh, Mrs. Moucheboume,
what a horrible misunderstanding.
I'm so ashamed. Please, this way.
Right this way.
Nicholas, go in and say hello.
Good evening, Mr. Moucheboume.
Hello, Mrs. Moucheboume.
So this is the little Nicholas.
Did you like my top?
Yes, but Dad says
it gives him a headache.
Next time, I'll get something else.
What would make you happy?
Watch your manners!
He's only a child.
T ell me, what would you do
with 500 francs?
I have to whisper it.
Ok, come here.
I'd hire a gangster
to kidnap my brother
so my parents will keep me.
Believe me, Nicholas,
the only way to earn money,
is hard work.
Very hard work.
You'll thank me later.
For 500 francs,
I'd thank you now.
Back to the kitchen!
I'm so sorry.
-He's only a child.
I said hello.
Very good.
There you go. Now it's time to eat.
Mrs. Moucheboume, do you enjoy
Scandinavian literature?
I have a soft spot
for 13th century Skaldic poetry.
The manner it has of using
"polyphrases" and metaphors
instead of literal meaning.
It's really very interesting.
Yes, very.
I just adore Snorsi Struffl...
Snorki Snuffn...
Storki Stleft...
Smurski Stroflt...
Speaking of which,
did you know that
the word "baroque" was Portuguese?
Yes, from the town of Barroco...
Very famous for its oysters.
Lully loved them.
That's where the chocolate
got its name, incidentally.
Lully...
The chocolate.
What if we ate?
Sure.
It's just a casual little meal.
-Perfect.
I'm so weary of eating
lobster with mayonnaise
every time we're invited for dinner.
One second, please.
There you go.
We could sing in the street.
Or wash windshields at red lights.
Or keep the shopping change.
No. We need to make lots of money fast.
Hang on, my father told me
how he got rich.
One day,
he found an apple, picked it up,
and sold it for a franc.
And then?
He bought two apples
and sold them for two francs.
And then?
His uncle died and he inherited.
And then?
Hey guys, the teacher's back!
WELCOME MR. MlNlSTER
Here they are.
I want you to be exemplary.
The first one who laughs
will regret it for life. Ok?
Like that. That's good.
That's very good.
Sit down, children.
How's the school year coming along?
These children need to loosen up.
Why don't we play a guessing game?
Listen carefully...
What is yellow,
very tiny,
and goes snap, crackle, pop?
A baby chick eating Cracker Jacks!
-What are you studying?
Rivers.
Rivers...
Then let's test someone.
Of course.
Agnan, please stand up.
No, no. Not you.
You, over there.
What is your name?
Clotaire, sir.
Very well then.
T ell me, which river
runs through Paris?
I'm listening...
The river that runs through Paris?
Didn't your parents
take you on a riverboat ride?
Swimming Forbidden In The Seine
The Seine?
Bravo, Clotaire!
Was it that hard?
Oh, yes.
How's the deal going?
-I think we should be firm.
But we mustn't...
-What's the timeframe?
Ten days.
I think that...
Keep me informed
of any developments.
-Hello?
Hi, it's me.
Did he say anything to you?
I know how we'll make the money.
Hey guys,
you want to be unbeatable?
What do you mean?
Come to the vacant lot
and you'll see.
And?
We found the formula
of the magic potion.
It'll make you as strong as an ox.
It costs five francs.
How do we know it works?
You there.
Come here.
Now,
try to lift that.
-Next!
Paid.
Paid.
We won't have enough.
Rufus went to make some more.
Three and four...
and five make...
five hundred and thirty francs!
Hey, you!
Little rascals!
Look what you did to my boy!
I want to see your parents!
You brats!
Come back here.
Come on run,
we'll catch them.
You won't get away!
I'll catch you!
Come here!
Come back here.
We have the money.
Ok, where's the car?
We'll call you back.
Now he wants a car.
We'll never see the end of it.
What flavor, sir?
Excuse me?
Chocolate-strawberry.
Very well, sir.
Hurry up, the others are waiting.
What?
I don't know how to drive.
You have to turn the key.
He took it with him.
We'll fix the wires.
I saw it in a film.
Keep watch.
You, help me.
What's going on?
Chocolate-strawberry.
Move aside!
Move aside!
City driving: Ok.
Downshifting and braking: Ok.
Let's see if you can parallel park.
Park over there.
Ok.
What the... Follow them!
-But...
Follow them!
I said, follow them!
Out of my way!
Out of my way!
Faster! We'll catch them.
I'll have his license revoked!
Out of my way!
Out of my way!
Pass them!
I need men I can trust.
I won't live forever, you know.
I need to think about
who'll take over one day.
Watch out!
Well, I do say...
Good thing you were there.
T ell me, what's your opinion
on the Patemouille file?
I think we should accept.
I think that...
Ok, you handle the deal.
-But...
Shut up.
I didn't mean you.
Parallel parking: Ok.
Thank you.
That'll never work.
What do we do now?
I don't know.
How did we get here?
Hello? I'd like
to speak to Blind Jack, please.
Ok, I'll hold.
Hey look! It's Joachim.
Hi guys.
I thought you'd disappeared.
No, I just came down
with a case of the chickenpox.
This is my brother.
Isn't he cute?
Don't touch!
You'll give him germs.
Babies are fragile.
Did you hear?
He said my name.
I thought you didn't like him.
That was before.
Before what?
Before I knew how great it was.
I'll be able to teach him
lots of things...
Like soccer and riding a bike.
And my parents will say things like:
"When Joachim was your age,
he could do that."
He'll be very impressed
and I'll give him orders
and he'll do everything I say.
Ok, bye guys.
Hello?
Hello?
I'll never drive again
as long as I live.
I don't understand.
Never ever.
Mom! Dad!
Thank you, I'm so happy.
-About what?
About my little brother!
What little brother?
My little brother...
The baby Mom's going to have.
I'm not having a baby.
Who gave you that idea?
But...
I wanted a little brother.
Little brothers are terrific.
Why can't I have one?
You never do anything
to make me happy.
That night, after dinner,
Mom and Dad kept on laughing
in their bedroom.
And one day,
when I came home from school,
they had some good news for me.
The baby took a long time.
I don't know how long, but it was
longer than waiting for Christmas.
The day after tomorrow?
-Not yet.
Life went on.
Geoffroy got punished
for the car incident.
Now he has to walk to school.
I saw Marie-Edwige
and she invited me to her birthday.
It's on Thursday.
Thursday? I'll have to see,
I have a very busy schedule.
Ok, it was more like...
We have another new neighbor.
What's the problem?
He and Dad tease each other too.
Just try it.
-You don't scare me.
You don't scare me.
Go back home!
And I kept waiting.
Tomorrow?
-No, but very soon.
I was in a hurry to start teaching
my little brother new things.
Good!
Look!
And then one morning,
we all went to the hospital...
and my little brother
finally arrived.
It's a girl.
What?
Come on, shoot!
Go on, shoot.
Look!
My goodness, isn't she cute?
She's an angel.
She certainly
does have her father's jaw.
She's her mother's spitting image.
I'm sorry, not the jaw.
How do you like your sister?
Frankly, it's hard to say.
We'll see when she's done.
For now she's toothless and bald.
She's cute anyhow.
Cute?
She's red and wrinkled,
Like a pickled pepper.
She just stares into space
and gurgles.
Everyone says she's smiling,
but that's a joke.
All she does is gurgle.
I wanted a brother.
But at the hospital,
Mom took this instead.
I don't know why.
She has rolls of fat everywhere,
she looks like she has four cheeks.
I should've asked for a puppy.
It's funny,
but at that moment, I remembered
the teacher's writing assignment:
T ell me what you want to be
when you grow up.
Because now I know.
What I want to do when I grow up
is make people laugh.
Look here!
Look here!