- Hand over that gun!
- You thought you held all the cards.
You thought you'd force me
not to file for divorce.
Erica, the gun is mine. I want it.
Not until I've had a good explanation.
Shit! Shit!
- What's going on?
- Drunk-driving in Atlanta, remember?
- Did he see you?
- I don't think so.
Get up.
- Whose is this?
- Mine.
- I don't know, 80 in a 55.
- You'll never get away with it.
O ye of little faith!
- Did you fix that transmitter?
- Ready.
What's going on?
Turn me on.
- I'm just a country boy!
- I'll cover that.
Frequency 6, check your local listings.
- A cold reading, $10 ante, who's in?
- I'm with my boss.
I say he can't do it.
Where's your loyalty?
- Oh, child, he looks nasty!
- This is gonna be real good.
Sh! Listen.
Is this beautiful country or what?
How fast was I going?
- 80 in a 55.
- Whoa! Really?
Licence and registration.
Yes, sir.
Let's see what we got here, Lowell.
Let's see.
A playing card. My only royal flush,
signed by Shorty Casewell.
Let's see. We got...
Licence and registration, sir.
Relax, where's the fire?
I'm gonna ask you one more time.
Do you have the documents?
Course I do. I'm a law-abiding citizen,
just like yourself.
The difference is there's more to life
than my nine to five.
If you knew that, you'd still have
a wife and daughter to go home to.
Sir, put your hands on the bus,
feet apart.
Whoa! A little cranky, aren't we?
- What's he doing?
- He's gone too far, as usual.
You could've bought me dinner first!
We're gonna take a walk
over to the car, sir. This way.
- He's going to jail.
- He's not.
He stopped writing, didn't he?
Oh, man.
Enough about me, Lowell.
It's not really me you're mad at.
You're mad at yourself, 'cause you lost
the person who loved you.
- You have the right to remain silent.
- "Frequency of names..."
- Anything you say will...
- "By decade, by religion..."
I'm not talking about your ex-wife.
You know who I'm talking about...
...Cathy.
Cathy.
Son of a bitch.
The guy has balls
the size of cantaloupes!
You think I don't know how it is?
Risking your life for minimum wage.
Never enough for those pretty dresses,
that fancy summer camp
all her friends went to.
Then some rich asshole
takes not only your wife,
but your own little girl.
Have you seen her?
Can't say that I have,
but I know people.
And I know she misses the way
you protected her. Like a princess.
The way you smiled at her
the night of the prom.
Good times teaching her the violin.
The what?
Violin...
Clair de lune.
We played that together.
No rich step-daddy can give her that.
She hasn't called in over a year.
You made her choose between you
and her mother. You drove her away.
Maybe I'll call her tonight.
Tonight...
When I got a phone
right there on that bus?
You wouldn't mind?
My brother Lowell,
what are friends for?
Yeah!
Yeah!
I talked to her and
I'll go see her on the weekend.
- Thank you, Brother Lowell.
- I can't thank you enough.
Praise the Lord!
- Did she win?
- And he made a donation. Unbelievable!
I got the Wellesley decal
and the wedding band, but the violin?
Red mark on the jaw from the chin rest.
You know me, I know people!
Yeah, well, I'll make it back
just when you least expect it.
I always expect it.
That's why I always win.
If it wasn't for you, I'd be playing
doctor with some car thief.
- What can I say, man?
- Just say, "Thank you, Jesus!"
- You OK back there?
- Something's blown.
Man!
What's happened?
Truck's blowing smoke, man.
- Next exit, let's get off.
- You got it.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
This is the place.
- You know where we are?
- This is nowhere.
Hey, what's up?
We don't get a replacement part
till Tuesday. Yeah, four days!
- Shit! We'd clean up in Topeka.
- Yeah.
I'm exhausted. We could use a break.
You're gonna get one. We got no choice.
I always have a choice.
Set up, we'll play here.
Here?
Here.
This is where the truckers come.
This looks nice.
I can smell trouble like shit on a griddle.
Take a look at what just walked in.
Dolores, you are such a bone-hound.
Everybody needs a hobby.
Even you.
- Sit down here, baby.
- Like I was saying, that man is nasty!
They believe, yeah!
- He ain't gonna bother you or me.
- I know.
Marva, huh? As in "Marvellous"?
- As in my grandmother.
- Not for a second.
- I'm Jonas.
- Hi.
Something got you down suddenly?
I never knew a problem
Chuck Berry couldn't solve.
It's broken.
Maybe I can fix it.
Life's too short to go without music.
Why don't you try laying on hands?
I wish I could, ma'am,
'cause I know how Jesus loves to rock.
Where's your manners?
He's a preacher. Be polite.
Hm, corn relish! I hate corn relish.
- First female serial killer?
- Aileen Wuornos.
- How many victims?
- Eight.
Special is steak.
No liver, no fish, no spinach.
- Awful lot of noes there, Marva.
- No lip.
I'll take the diet plate, please.
- She wants me.
- Yeah!
You should stick
with your bible-boinkers.
A woman is like a slingshot.
The greater the resistance,
the further you can get with her.
Besides, she's warming up.
What brought him
to the service of Our Lord?
You know, Georgette, to me
there's no greater thrill than preaching.
First moment, you wonder,
"Can I touch them?
"Will they feel what I feel?"
Sometimes they don't feel it at first,
that sense of needing the Lord.
You know how it feels to really need
something, don't you, Georgette?
- Your order?
- Two chilies. Hold the onions.
Sometimes a person doesn't
know what they need.
They wake up itchy,
hungry for whiskey or money or food.
What they really need is love.
Sweet, tender caresses of the Lord.
- Amen! All right, Reverend.
- Amen.
- May I take your order?
- Sure.
I'll have the KKK omelette.
Whites only.
Get out of here!
I'm kidding. I'll have a decaf and toast.
And I give them that love, Georgette,
That... and salvation!
Salvation is the only thing
in this world that matters.
More comforting than a lover.
More valuable than diamonds.
Come on, Preacher! Come on!
See this?
It was a gift from my sainted mother
the year I graduated seminary.
- God bless her.
- Very nice.
I'll get it.
See, Marva?
Nothing has value without salvation.
- He put it in the water!
- Just like it was baptised!
He loves the Lord!
What's the date?
Someone could notice that
in a small town.
It pisses off the law. They think
I've a year's salary on my wrist.
The sheriff is Braverman.
He's clean.
Clean? Ugh!
Mr Nightengale,
arbitrary is not an issue here.
We've got a 27% unemployment rate.
- I need 20 guys for four days.
- Great! 26%!
Look, no new permits
till the plants reopen
or till our farmers get some rain.
Till then, this town can't afford a revival.
- Sorry.
- Oh, no. I understand, Sheriff.
- You're just trying to do your job.
- No. He's trying to restrict trade.
Listen, Braverman.
I got a room full of New York lawyers
dying to take on some badge
interfering with religious freedom!
I got the fee, I'll do the paperwork.
You give me the permit or I dial 2-1-2.
- Knock yourself out.
- I'll do it.
Don't take it personally, boss.
It's just one for the big guy upstairs.
So, is all of this
absolutely necessary, Will?
Local law.
"The Attack of the Puny Brains".
I kissed up to him, I got the permit.
Besides, this one's cute for a change.
Now, concentrate.
Population: 22-something.
Median family income: $21,000...
Cute? He can shut us down.
I don't have to remind you
what our nut is: 3,500 a day.
Every town, another puny brain.
Give a little man power,
he thinks he's powerful.
Yeah, I've seen that happen before.
OK, main industries: Wheat and corn.
Ancillaries have had massive lay-offs.
The banks report 22% farm foreclosure.
If they don't get rain by this weekend,
this year's crops will fail.
So we can use that.
Stop drumming, Jonas! Stop!
What a shit-hole!
This was your choice, so live with it.
Average education: 10th grade.
Richest family: The Rayloves.
same situation...
I gotta get you a man.
You've been on the road too long.
We're gonna hire us a new angel.
You pick him!
- Finished?
- I'm starting to get excited.
A town this deep in the crapper's
got nowhere to turn but God!
Kansas Radio.
When the going gets tough,
the tough dial S-O-S.
Speaking of things getting tough,
I've got someone here who says
he can help. Jonas Nightengale.
A man who knows
about the value of spirit.
Thank you, Jerry Joe. Thank you.
You know, as I look out your window,
Rustwater reminds me
of my own home town.
Drugstore soda fountain.
Little movie theatre.
The one with the real butter.
And it warms my heart.
So many people working so hard,
deserving so much better.
I know how it feels to see
old man Raylove driving his fancy car,
all the while thinking,
"I want me a car like that."
The problem is
you've got nothing to believe in.
Can't believe in the community
with its trouble,
it seems sometimes even the family.
So what do you believe in?
The biggest power,
the biggest man with the plan...
So I'm here to remind you
that tonight
at the Rustwater camp-ground
you too, can be saved.
If you're already walking with Jesus,
celebrate your faith with your neighbour.
It's been too long since you've seen him.
If you're still driving that beat-up pickup,
eating macaroni and day-old bread,
come and celebrate the miracle of faith,
the power of healing.
And you too, can wake up saying,
"Thank you, Jesus!"
I been lonely, I been cheated
I been misunderstood
I been washed up, I been put down
And told I'm no good
But with you I belong
'Cause you help me be strong
There's a change in my life
Since you came along
Oh, yeah
Now I don't mind working
So hard every day...
Your wife was great to meet.
I'm Jonas Nightengale.
Come down for an old-fashioned
revival with lots of music and singing.
And bring your wife along tonight.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
I been lonely, I been cheated
I been misunderstood
I been washed up, I been put down
And told I'm no good
But with you I belong
'Cause you help me be strong
There's a change in my life...
Hey, what's your name?
You go to high school here?
No? Going to college?
Now, a man, a man gets crazy
When he finds he's done wrong
And a heart, a heart gets weary
When it doesn't belong
And the road, the road gets rocky, Lord
You've got to keep on
Let the new light come
Shining on through
I been lonely, I been cheated...
Tonight, tomorrow night and the next...
Hey, Jonas Nightengale.
How are you?
Keep your eye on the squirt gun.
One, two, three!
Gone.
Come to the tent meeting.
Miracles and wonders.
But with you I belong
'Cause you help me be strong
There's a change in my life
Since you came along
I been lonely, I been cheated
I been misunderstood
I been washed up, I been put down
And told I'm no good
But with you I belong
'Cause you help me be strong
There's a change in my life
Since you came along...
I sink this one,
you guys come to the meeting?
- Yeah, all right.
- OK.
Afternoon, sir.
Sheriff sent me to check for violations.
I bet he did.
Go ahead, we're clean. Go on.
Knock yourself out.
Great. It's a frigging hootenanny!
You've been very busy, Will.
Just doing my job.
Yeah, I can see that.
It's been a long day.
Can I buy you a beer?
Tell me, do most of the cops
fall for your act?
Yeah.
I'll bet they do.
Well, ma'am, sorry about the drink,
but I'm on duty.
No, no. My mom is "ma'am".
You can call me Jane.
All right.
Goodbye, Jane.
Goodbye, Will.
Just kidding.
You have any towels?
Wow, nice room!
What's the matter? You seem down.
I'm just bummed about Topeka.
I wanted to see that breeder.
- You can't keep a Great Dane on a bus.
- Why not?
Lt'd be great company.
Why don't you give this to me?
It looks better on me.
You'll get it when I die unless you kill me.
And it's in my will that way.
- My offer still holds for a new angel.
- I can just see it.
"Wanted: Single tenor with interest
in gourmet cooking and mail fraud."
- What's new with Miss Congeniality?
- Nothing.
And I'm using all my "A" material.
How could she not go for it?
So you strike out for once.
What do you care?
It's got me curious.
She's got fuming down to an art.
It's a matter of principle, like a quest.
Sort of a Holy Grail of road pussy?
Eloquent as always.
Tambourines, T-shirts, bumper stickers!
Bibles! Tambourines!
Tambourines, T-shirts, bumper stickers!
Get your bibles here!
How are you doing this evening?
Come right in. Come right in.
Tambourines! Praise the Lord!
Bibles! T-shirts! Bumper stickers!
- Come on up!
- Come right in!
Bumper stickers!
Have you ever seen anything
like that in your life?
- Bless you.
- Bless you. Come right on in.
Come right on in.
Hi, how are you?
- Hey, how's it going?
- OK.
Let's see what we've got.
Where are you?
Oh, there you are. Nice suit!
Guys!
Excuse me. Are you from Rustwater?
- No, I drove 30 miles to be here.
- 30 miles. That far?
- What is your name?
- Emma Schlarp.
I have a great seat
right in front of the preacher for you.
- Would you like to have it?
- Oh, yes.
Sit right here,
and I'll roll you down there.
That's very nice of you.
It's a much better view
and this chair's a lot softer.
Thank you.
It's nothing but trouble with that old man.
He's got 80 yards of electrified fence
spitting distance to the house.
You know our kids play over there,
and somebody's gonna get hurt.
...loving Jesus gives you
a warm feeling in your stomach...
Guy in cowboy hat
says he loves Jesus.
Really? I thought
they were just good friends.
Make sure to hit him up personally.
Absolutely.
- You like it?
- Yeah.
Cut it out, Matt!
- You here alone?
- I'm with my mom.
If she catches me talking with you...
I gotta go, OK?
Can I see you after the show?
- OK. Nice to see you.
- You, too.
Girl in glitter jeans is pregnant.
Her mother's been beating her.
That's nice.
Where is she sitting?
Town's small, Jonas.
Don't mention she's knocked up.
I'll be good.
Did you study my summary?
Yeah. And the Grange ladies told me
who's been sleeping around.
Tiny, you got the smoke ready?
What's Roger doing?
Tell him five shills is enough.
Come on, the angels will see him.
What's the deal
with the cherry hat again?
Electric fence.
Visualise the fence with cherries on it.
- What do you like? This or this?
- Ready to check your receiver?
I'm having an accessory crisis.
Testing sibilance, one, two.
Can you hear me?
That's fine.
Boy, are you a tough room!
The dark grey, definitely.
You look gorgeous.
Always look better than they do, Janey.
And now, let's go give
some empty lives a little meaning!
- Are you ready for a miracle?
- Ready as I can be!
- Are you ready for a miracle?
- The spirit will set you free
Are you ready? Are you ready?
- Are you ready for a miracle?
- Ready as I can be
- Are you ready for a miracle?
- The spirit will set you free
Are you ready for a miracle?
Be strong in the Lord
and in the power of his might!
Be strong in the Lord
and the power of his might!
Put on the whole armour of God
that ye may be able to stand
against the wiles of the Devil!
Come on, Hoov. Goose 'em.
I got a cold audience out there.
Yes, I'm ready! Yeah!
I hear Satan knocking,
but he can't come in! Yes, sir!
Come on, people!
Turn it loose,
let him fix it and let him in!
Take it down, angels.
I gotta talk to these people.
I gotta talk to these people a second.
I wanna tell you a story...
- This'll move you.
...about a man from New York.
A man named Thomas.
Now, Thomas lived on Fifth Avenue.
Views of Central Park
even from the bathroom!
Beautiful wife. Two sweet kids.
But his life was a mess.
You know why?
Because of the fear.
Afraid his business would fail.
Afraid his children would come to harm.
Afraid of balding
and his wife leaving him.
Afraid of death.
But death's a breeze.
Ever heard of anyone
coming back to complain? No!
- It's life that'll kill you...
- Matt, give your people a wake-up call.
...and Thomas was a prisoner of fear.
- Amen, Preacher!
- Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!
...he got a $2,000 hairpiece
and a world-class doctor.
- But was Tom happy?
- No!
No! N-O.
Because when Thomas finally
came to me, he still had the fear.
The fear is bigger than doctors!
The fear is bigger than money!
- Absolutely!
- Amen!
There's only thing bigger
than the fear, my friends.
And that one thing... is the faith.
- Hallelujah!
- Yeah! Yeah!
Faith that the universe needs him!
Faith that his woman
loves his soul not his hair!
Faith that his children will be protected
not by a man with a.357 Magnum,
but by The Man with the super-charged
grenade launcher of love!
And that one man is one man
and one man only.
That man is Jesus Christ!
Yeah!
If you wanna feel happy,
if you wanna feel love,
all you gotta do...
If you wanna feel safe,
if you wanna feel strong,
if you wanna walk tall,
all you gotta do,
all you gotta do,
all you gotta do is get saved!
Thank you, Jesus!
Thank you, Jesus!
- Say "Hallelujah."
- Hallelujah!
- Looking good, Jo Jo.
- Holy juice pumps through my veins!
I feel a healing coming on.
But I need to know
you're on the side of the Lord.
I need a sign of your faith.
I'm not asking you to pay
for this beautiful music, no!
I'm not asking you to pay
for the word of God.
What I do need is
some token that you believe.
- How about that ruby ring?
- You belong to the most exclusive club!
A club that only God's
faithful and generous can join.
- Only then...
- Give me that ring!
No one can keep you
out of the kingdom of heaven!
- Tell her I'm gonna kill her!
- You're meat, baby.
OK, I'll be good!
They are going to pass among you.
- The more you give, the more you live!
- Praise the Lord, brother!
The Lord spoke to me tonight.
He's searching for some special people.
They'll receive great rewards
in material goods.
He wants these special people
to be saved here on stage with me!
It's sad out there, that's all I have to say.
It's burgers tonight.
Oh, people,
the Lord is speaking to me right now.
- It better be good.
- Relax. Cherry hat. Section 4, row F.
You, sir, in the brown jacket.
I feel your burden.
Who? Who, me?
Yes, sir. Tell me
if I'm hearing the Lord right.
- You've a problem with your neighbour?
- I sure have!
- That fence is going to harm your kids?
- Yes, sir!
Amazing!
...make him your friend,
serve him your best fried chicken!
- 'Cause yours is the best in the county.
- It is!
I'd love some of that.
Now thank the Lord for his saving!
Section 5, row A is the glitter jeans.
Remember glitter jeans?
Sister!
You're suffering deeply.
You're worried about your little girl.
- Yes, Reverend.
- Stand up.
The Lord says a strike unto any
of his children is a strike unto him.
Lord, I hear you. Please forgive me.
- Jesus forgives you. Say "Hallelujah!"
- Hallelujah!
Fishing cap, section 4, row F.
You, sir. Come up on stage
and be cured of your gambling!
That's incredible!
Section 1, pink mu-mu. She lost her job.
You, in the pink dress.
Receive the Lord
and you will find another job!
First row. White shirt. Back problem.
You, sir. Believe in the Lord
and cure your backache!
Same section, yellow shirt.
Hearing problem.
You, sir, come up on stage!
Hearing problem!
Section 2, the blue-haired lady.
She's got arthritis.
You, too, ma'am. Come up on stage!
- We're gonna help some people.
- Ah, we are!
- He's got trouble with his neighbours.
- Let him fix it! Let him in!
Hallelujah!
I'm feeling something tonight!
- He's got a sore neck.
- Receive the anointing in Jesus' name!
- Say, "Thank you, Jesus!"
- She needs a job.
You need a job?
Now you're working for Jesus!
- A gambling man.
- Get the strength in your life!
Holy name of Jesus!
- He can't hear a thing.
- Hear the word, hear the word!
In Jesus' holy name!
- Welcome to the kingdom of heaven.
- Arthritis.
Arthritis? Take the hand
of God's right-hand man.
Believe in the power of the Lord. Believe.
Raise your hands. Raise them up!
Wave your hands like this!
Thank you, Jesus!
Someone here's just been
cured of their asthma.
Hello, friend!
She's got bad bones, Reverend.
Hold it, hold it!
Take it down just a second.
Take it down.
We got someone special here.
- What's your name?
- Emma Schlarp.
- How long you had bone trouble?
- Years.
Well, God's gonna make
a miracle for you tonight.
O Lord, I'm just a man like any other,
but send a miracle through my hands
to help my sister Emma.
Come on, Emma.
Show me the power of the Lord.
Praise God. Praise God.
Praise God!
Thank you, Jesus. Come on, walk to me.
Go on, Emma!
Yes! Yes!
It's a miracle! Hallelujah!
It's a miracle! Dance with me!
Oh, say, "Thank you, Jesus."
Thank you, Jesus!
And I'm walking...
Highway up to heaven
No one can walk up there
But the pure in heart
It's a highway up to heaven
And I'm walking...
I'm so glad it's a highway up to heaven
You just can't walk up there
You got to be pure in heart
It's a highway up to heaven...
Thank you. Thank Jesus!
In the name of Jesus!
- How did we do?
- About four grand.
Hey, Tony, I'm dressing!
Sorry, pal.
What's he doing here?
Well, well.
If it isn't my new best friend.
We've had the fire department,
the sanitation department.
What now? The Girl Scouts?
Nightengale, we both know
there's nothing I can do legally.
I'm here man to man.
Folks have lost their jobs, their land.
They can't feed their families.
So they sure can't afford
a con man like you.
Do a good thing. Pack it up.
That's some plain talk, Will.
So I'll give you a little in return.
- Good night, folks.
- Night, sir.
Let's assume I was
what you said I was.
In New York, they've got
Broadway shows costing $65 a pop
just to walk in the door.
Maybe you like the show.
Maybe you don't, and you kick yourself.
I give my people a good show,
plenty of music,
worthwhile sentiments.
Most of them go home
with a little hope in their lives.
Now, usually, I only play towns
that can afford me.
But what about towns like this
that really need me?
You don't care what these people need.
You're looking to cash in.
Oh, pissing contest! Can I watch?
- I won't just go away.
- Now, that sounds good!
'Cause you owe me that drink, Will.
Jonas, in the bus.
Will, what's that guy from
the sanitation department's name?
- Phil.
- Phil? I called him Frank. Anyway...
Come on, Janey! Wake up, baby!
God! It's eight o'clock!
I know what time it is.
I've been driving all night.
Wait till you see this. Close your eyes.
- They were closed.
- Come on, close them.
Pucker up.
Kiss. Big kiss.
Wow!
Hi! Where did you get him?
I found a breeder in Clydedale.
I convinced him to open late.
Ah, so let's hear it for insomnia.
I was worried about
your lack of companionship.
- What's his name?
- He's smart and hung like a moose.
- So I thought...
- Jack from Neptune!
- Come on!
- I know, Jonas Junior.
- Jonas! He's a good boy, too!
- He's great.
So here we'll make "such" as "drought",
"really" is "rain".
- And we'll make "won't" "tornadoes".
- OK, try me.
"Brother Jonas, I am wondering,
what question burns inside this woman."
If there'll be a twister
at her son's home in Wilmington.
- No, "wondering" is "Wichita".
- Wichita!
- I don't wanna do this audience tonight.
- Why? You're good.
- That's not the point.
- Relax. Pathos isn't contagious.
Besides, the badge saw the set-up
last night. We can't take the chance.
- What did you two do after dinner?
- Nothing. I'm just greasing the wheels.
- Till one in the morning? A lot of grease.
- Your spies are slipping.
I was out till two.
You know how to play this, Jane.
Just watch your step!
Mr Nightengale, I'm so glad I caught you.
I was at your meeting last night,
and I heard what you said
to that family who lost their farm.
My husband lost his job, and
it's been hard putting food on the table.
Sorry to hear that. Come down tonight
and maybe I can help.
Oh, heavens, it's not me.
The best way to forget your troubles
is to help someone else with theirs.
This is for that unfortunate family.
Will you see that they get it?
I certainly will.
That's mighty Christian of you.
Bless you.
You try it and you're toast!
You're gonna get it now!
Hey, Rev!
Looking for some souls to save?
You know me, I hate to see
even one get away. Souls, that is.
I brought you this. It's the best in town.
- Hey, kid. How about a game?
- Da.
- I thought you had homework.
- I'll do it later.
Little Russkie, huh?
I ever tell you I was
East Coast chess champion 1971?
My sister's a total slave-driver.
- Go ahead and make your move.
- What do you think I just did?
That was a neat trick you did yesterday.
- The hand's quicker than the eye.
- So they tell me.
Nice move, kid.
Hey, Marva, could I have a th glac?
It's French for iced tea.
- Where's your church?
- On every street corner in every town.
- You don't have a church.
- I have a ministry, which is better.
My grandmother
used to take me with her.
So you believe in miracles, right?
Concentrate on your game, Boyd.
I'd like to hear what your sister
has to say on the subject.
I believe in life, what it does to you
and what you do back.
Never underestimate the power of belief.
With it, I've seen a mute sing "Hallelujah"
and a cripple dance.
When you've got it, you've got the power
of every ocean in your hand.
Without it, you've got nothing.
Everyone is just another sinner,
and everywhere is just another hell.
I'll be outside.
- My sister thinks you're a fake.
- Maybe I am and maybe I'm not.
If I get the job done,
what difference does it make?
You're gonna need a miracle now,
because check and mate-ski!
This town is full of single women.
Leave me alone.
It must be your money.
I've seen many people lie to themselves,
but they don't fool anyone.
Lying, huh?
Your personal area of expertise?
That's not true.
My talent is telling people the truth.
Like that picture on the wall in there.
Best day of your life.
- One of.
- Sure it was.
You were young, you were free.
You still had that spark in your eye.
Now you hide out in that diner,
never letting anyone get next to you.
The last time you had a man
Nixon was in office.
How I live my life is none
of your business. What do you want?
I want to know how come you gave up.
A drunk truck driver did that.
Four hours stuck in a crash
watching our mom and dad die.
Doctors did all they could.
Took tests, stuck him with needles.
All for nothing.
So he had me take him to a preacher.
And the preacher got him up on stage.
When it was all over,
he was still on his crutches.
Know what he said to my little brother?
He said that it was his fault,
'cause his faith wasn't strong enough.
Let me tell you something.
All that boy has is faith.
The last thing he needs is
another phoney messing him up.
And the last thing I need is another man
using him to get me into bed.
Hey, Rev, how about a rematch?
Sorry, kid, I gotta go.
Can't stand the heat, huh?
Got it in one, kid.
If I pick it too soon, it won't sweeten.
If I leave it on the stock too long,
it rots on the way to market.
Too much rain turns it mouldy,
too little and it's hog-feed.
Timing's everything.
Same as in my business.
You gotta pick 'em while they're ripe.
Will, I know you think I'm crooked,
so why'd you ask me here?
Well, you know those programmes
where they take delinquents
out to the woods and rehabilitate them?
- This isn't the woods.
- Smart girl.
I knew you were worth saving.
You've too much going for you
to be somebody's front man.
OK, guys, let's go!
Pick it up!
- Hey, Rev.
- Hey, kid.
Watch.
My dad used to lift weights.
He was state champion.
- Great, comrade. You gonna compete?
- Yeah, all events done sitting down!
It's something I gotta do.
You have anything like that?
Something I gotta do?
No, I stick with what I wanna do.
It's a tough policy, but it works for me.
Do you always jog in a cowboy hat?
I used to jog in my boots.
What did the doctors tell you?
Doctors have nothing to do with my leg.
I'll walk if it's God's will.
Listen, God doesn't have
a trucker's licence.
You think you were chosen to suffer?
If you've done everything you can,
doctors, therapy, that's great.
But if you haven't, get off your ass,
'cause God won't do it for you.
Look, kid,
everybody's a loser one of these days.
The trick is not acting like a loser.
I believe things happen for a reason.
Fine. You wanna believe that?
That's great.
I'm gonna run.
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
I'm worried about that two-man code.
Maybe. But that's not why you're late.
These are for me?
Can I read it?
Gidget goes dustbowl.
Fine, have your little secret.
Will said he's got a surprise for you.
Something about
giving you enough rope.
Tell him to go kick some shit!
There's not enough rope in Kansas
to hang me.
Besides, wait till you see the pitch.
Got a little surprise
myself.
Jesus is on the mainline
Tell him what you want
- Lord Jesus
- Tell him what you want
You gotta call him up
And tell him what you want
Call him up, call him up...
You tell him!
Am I in white boy heaven
or what? Yes!
That was beautiful, children.
Children? Hm!
I want to tell you about myself.
You look at me and you see a man
who seems a lot like you.
But all my life I've been different.
At first, it was a curse,
but soon I discovered
the blessing of my birth.
Now, what was it, you ask,
made me different?
In an isolated cabin
in the Appalachian mountains,
Jonas Nightengale was born
with a caul about his face.
He told me his father invented Teflon.
Some say the caul's an old wives' tale,
but I've seen some
smart old wives in my day!
They say a baby born with a caul
is given the second sight.
The sight inside a man's soul.
Hallelujah!
Sister Jane will pass among you...
...and I want you
to ask her your questions.
I'm going to reach deep inside
to find an answer
placed there by God.
- What can Jonas do for you tonight?
- How much longer do I have?
Brother Nightengale,
can you tell me the answer
to our brother's question?
I'm hearing the voice of angels.
- He's worried how long he has to go.
- Praise be!
Whether you've ten years or ten minutes,
what matters is that you really live!
So when God's chariot arrives,
you're ready to step on board!
- Yes, sir!
- I've been widowed about a year.
When they repossessed the farm,
my husband killed himself in the barn.
Has the Lord forgiven him
and welcomed him to heaven?
Our sister would sincerely
like to know about a loved one.
I'll give you your answer, sister.
He rests with the angels.
He says God has forgiven him.
He asks you to do the same.
When's it gonna rain?
This man's question is really important.
Oh, boy.
You want to know what every man
and woman in this tent wants to know.
- You want to know when's it gonna rain!
- Yes! Yes!
Let me ask you this question:
What is rain anyway?
Is it the sweet nectar your crops crave?
Is it tears of joy?
Or is it the rain that falls on every life?
The dressing down from your boss?
The bank pounding on the door?
When you say to me,
"Jonas, when's it gonna rain?"
All I can say is...
"When's it gonna stop?"
In the Book of Osalms,
Chapter 27 reads as thus:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation:
Of whom shall I fear?"
The Lord is my light and my salvation
The Lord is the strength!
The Lord is my strength!
The Lord is your strength!
The Lord is the strength of my life!
Strength of my life
Of whom shall I be...
Afraid...
I feel a healing coming on.
- How many love Jesus?
- Yeah!
Are you ready for a miracle?
There it is, the word of God!
Yakety-yak, God's talking back!
- Hey, brother!
- Amen!
Whoa, people!
Oh! Hallelujah, sister!
Praise Jesus!
You're a slave in the spirit!
Receive the holy anointing of Jesus!
Let Jesus fix it!
- Somebody run!
- Me?
You, feel the power of the Lord!
Celebrate the Lord!
Celebrate the Lord!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Praise Jesus! Praise Jesus!
You're not gonna need this any longer.
I cast out your chains!
The sign of the cross! Look!
He's in the room! He's alive!
He's in me, he's in you!
I see him in your eyes!
I feel him beating in your hearts!
Reach up and touch Jesus!
Nice to see you again, sister.
Praise Jesus, praise his name!
Praise the Lord!
Receive his holy name!
Say "Hallelujah!"
I've never seen a room so full of God!
Say, "Thank you, Jesus!"
- Somebody say "Amen."
- Amen!
Hey!
Hey!
Wait a minute, Reverend.
I want to testify.
I said I want to testify.
So speak up, Sheriff.
Before you leave your
hard-earned money in those buckets,
I want you to know where it's going.
Alias Jonas Nightengale,
born Jack Newton,
does not come from the Appalachians.
He was born in the Bronx.
The closest he came to a church
was the Mary and Joseph Orphanage,
where he lived from five to fifteen.
Then he ran away to begin a life
of crime, including convictions for...
...shoplifting,
possession of marijuana
and grand theft auto,
all before the age of 18.
He was arrested for selling fraudulent
art works and passing bad cheques.
If you feel you've had a good night's
entertainment, then go ahead,
tip the dancing bear.
But, if you think this money's
going to a man of God,
you'd better think again.
I believe in Jonas.
He's a fake!
There ain't no way he's a man of God!
Brother Will!
Everything you've said is true.
Absolutely true.
Yes, I was born to lowly circumstances.
Yes, I ran with a bad crowd that
taught me to smoke weed and steal.
I hung out in bars.
And I hot-wired cars.
I grew up mistreated,
so I lied and I cheated.
I learned hard crime
and I served hard time.
I have walked that crooked road
and I have danced with Satan.
I've been down in the gutter
and looked up into the face of God.
- Praise the Lord!
- Amen!
I say to you,
if you wanna give up the bottle,
who you gonna talk to?
- Someone who's never touched a drop?
- No!
If you wanna give up womanising,
who you gonna talk to?
- Some pale-skinned virgin priest?
- No!
If you wanna give up sin -
and I believe everyone here tonight
wants to give up sin -
who can lead you?
You need a real sinner, people.
A sinner of such monumental
proportions that all your sins
couldn't possibly equal
the sins of this King of Sin!
Because you know,
if he can walk that righteous path,
if he can go from grift to grace,
from sin to sanctity,
from lowliness to holiness,
that you, with all your everyday sins,
can rise up like an angel
and ride that golden elevator
to God's own penthouse in the sky.
Hey, Jake! Jake Bradley!
The bank gave you
last warning on foreclosure.
How much did you put in the bucket?
$10.
Sadie McElroy,
you've got two boys in junior college,
your husband's out of work.
I put in 20, Will.
I need all the help I can get.
Amen!
I don't know what to say to you.
You folks have been warned.
Sadie, you need all the help you can get.
You, too, Jake. All of you.
I know what you're going through.
But there can be no price on salvation.
So I want you to take back
all your money, every last cent.
Bring those buckets out.
Sadie take out twenty; Jake take out ten.
Go ahead.
Because the Lord knows
you still have doubt in your hearts.
Without your faith,
I cannot deliver the Word.
- Praise the Lord!
- For the Israelites, he parted the sea.
To Moses,
he spoke from the burning bush.
And in your hour of doubt,
the Lord has spoken to me.
He said, "Jonas,
"Jonas, expect a sign."
And if God's wisdom is proven to you,
then may you support this ministry.
Because God don't want
no doubt money, no!
And I don't want no doubt money. N-O!
Because doubt money burned the fingers
of the righteous, and I will not be burned!
- You all right?
- Of course.
Plant the twenties
before they leave.
He'll be all right.
It's a highway up to heaven
You just can't walk up there
You've got to have a pure heart
It's a highway up to heaven...
Look, Jane...
Try grovelling.
It goes a long way with me.
- I told you I had a job to do.
- Doing your job is one thing.
Trying to destroy
a human being is another.
Nuclear winter wouldn't destroy him!
Oh, yeah?
Let me tell you something
your snooping didn't turn up.
Do you know
how he landed in that orphanage?
- I assume his parents died.
- His parents?
God only knows where his father is.
His mother took him out
shopping one day.
Told him she'd be right back and
that he should wait on the corner.
Four days later, he's there waiting.
So the cops lug him off
to Our Mother of Neglect,
where, for five years, he still believes
his mother will come to get him.
Finally, he just wised up.
- The jails are full of stories like that.
- Yeah. They sure are.
That's why,
if Jonas was wearing pantyhose
and pointing a rifle,
it wouldn't surprise me.
But he's not.
All he's doing is selling fairy tales
to people who thank him.
The last thing he needs is
a judgemental asshole like you
throwing his past up in his face.
Open up, boss. It's me.
This better be good.
Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
The Reverend has just arrived.
God bless you, Father.
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord! His eyes are open!
You've outdone yourself.
He preached last night
that God would send a sign.
I've seen a hundred signs.
A magnificent sunrise, a green light
when I thought it would turn red.
But never have I seen anything like this.
You were watching the tent last night.
Anybody switch crucifixes?
No, sir. Not a soul.
Praise the Lord! It's a miracle!
Hallelujah!
An alleged miracle in Rustwater,
whose population of 22,000
in the last few hours
has swelled to over 31,000 people.
Rumour has it
the crucifix performs miracles.
A local man who sustained a burn said
his wound had miraculously healed.
- The question is...
- What are we doing about the rain?
Tony's printing some pamphlets
on rainmaking so we'll use them.
There'll be some really
sick people there.
Seat them in the back
away from the stage.
And we have our malpractice insurance:
"Only if your faith is strong enough."
- Damn, this was a new shirt.
- Have you tried turpentine?
It's no good.
That trick's worth it, though.
An oldie but goodie.
- Have you had any sleep lately?
- Too busy to sleep.
Places to go and people to do.
How's the badge taking all this?
I heard he couldn't get
an art expert till Tuesday.
You heard? Little lovers' tiff?
Wonder how he got so well-informed.
Screw you.
I'm not the one giving out free samples.
I just feel bad is all,
these people are so broke.
You feel bad for the poor people
but you want their money.
What's a girl to do?
Move to Kansas?
Marry old Will and slop the hogs?
You can't have it both ways.
I don't believe I defended you.
I'm tired of manipulators.
Manipulators are sneaky. I'm obvious.
And right!
You feeling better now?
Yeah. I guess I just needed to be alone.
I'll take that as a compliment.
- It's before six. I've gotta go.
- Whoa!
Places to go, people to rip off.
Oh, you should talk.
You're consorting with the enemy.
Well, I'm an easy consort.
You ever think about settling down?
My mother taught me never to settle.
You're fast on your feet, Jane,
but someday you may wanna slow down.
No.
Sorry, Will. I don't do slow.
Come on. I want to show you something.
They travel over two thousand miles
and end up here,
back with the same mate,
year after year.
What are you talking about?
I don't see anything.
They started arriving last week.
There's only a few thousand right now.
What started arriving?
I don't see anything.
Watch.
Ain't they beautiful?
- Oh, they like me.
- Fantastic!
Jane, I'm not a flashy guy,
but what I promise I deliver.
- I'd like to make you some promises.
- You've known me three days!
I'm a quick study.
By Tuesday, you'll be gone.
If I had more time, I'd take it.
Why don't you come tonight?
Lt'll be fun.
The crew has a bet going.
Everybody had to come up
with some ridiculous word.
Jonas has to work them into his sermon,
and if he fails, you win the pot.
Guess what my phrase is.
Aluminum siding.
Aluminum siding!
You can get caught up in the frills of life!
Samsonite luggage,
the Amana washer.
But you know
what's really important, don't you?
Are you ready for the truth?
Are you ready for the Word?
We gotta get back
to that old-time religion.
Where is she?
All right. What if I told you
one good deed returns ten good ones?
Would you believe me?
If I told you that one righteous day
would return ten days of fortune?
Would you believe me?
What if I told you $1 in the service
of the Lord would return ten-fold?
- Would you believe me?
- Yes!
- Yo, I'm here.
- It's about time... for a miracle!
- I believe, brother, I believe!
- What is it? Come up here.
- What's your name?
- Calvin Tweedy.
Go ahead.
Last night, I only had $10 in my wallet
and my wife Kate made me give it all.
God bless you, Kate!
Then you said to take it back and I did.
But this morning I had $30,
and I had no $20 bill before that.
Well, hallelujah! It's a miracle!
- It happened to me, too!
- I got 40!
Hallelujah, it's a miracle!
Turn it loose, Bruce, and get back, Jack!
Rustwater, Kansas,
is some kind of holy town.
I've never seen such a demonstration
of the Lord's plenty. Say, "Amen!"
Say, "Hallelujah!"
All right, let's give some empty lives
a little meaning!
I believe we'll see
some miracles tonight.
Come on up,
I'm working for Jesus!
He's coming through me,
special delivery! Hallelujah!
A fever is on me! A fever is on me!
Do you hear him call?
Fall into the spirit of Jesus Christ!
Prepare to receive your miracle!
Oh, I'm feeling the power tonight!
I'm feeling the power!
Invite him in, sisters!
Somebody has just
been cured of their rheumatism.
Receive a fresh anointing!
Watch out, I'm vibrating!
I'm vibrating, I'm vibrating with Jesus!
I'm feeling the power!
Come on, brother!
Let Jesus in.
He's speaking the language of the Lord!
The language of the Lord! Hallelujah!
Fall into Jesus!
The Angels of Mercy!
I'm boxing for Jesus!
This room is burning up
with the fever of the Lord!
Hallelujah, brother!
Hey, Reverend. Hey, Rev!
Hey, Rev, what about me?
I've no more healing power left in me.
- Rev, what about me?
- That's it!
I'm all done in from the service
to the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!
Dance, brother, dance!
Celebrate the miracles of the Lord!
- Another one!
- What about Boyd?
One more! One more!
So glad you could make it.
I had to cold read 20 people
and I was not brilliant.
One more! One more!
I think you've got a little problem here.
One more! One more!
Take it from me, babe,
you can't have it both ways.
One more! One more!
One more! One more!
One more! One more!
One more! One more!
Hallelujah!
You asked for one more demonstration
of the Lord's kindness, a show of faith.
It's about faith. You gotta have it
or you can't get healed.
If there's any doubt in your hearts,
the Lord cannot deliver.
Even if one of you doubts, like you,
Will. I know you have doubts.
You must believe, because this boy's
chances of walking are in your hands.
Amen!
Brothers and sisters,
I ask you to consider
the fate of an innocent
rests in the heart of a cynic.
You can do it. You can do it.
Release your faith!
Hallelujah! Another miracle!
Have faith in Jesus! Faith in Jesus!
- Amen!
- Hallelujah!
How did you do it, Reverend?
Son of a bitch!
Are you gonna tell me
what really happened out there?
I've been had. I've been hustled.
What are you talking about?
They got a great act,
the waitress and Tiny Tim!
That story about the trucker,
a drunken trucker.
- Details, the mark of a great con!
- Forget it. Not those two.
They're not like you.
Come on.
Remember me?
I'm Jane, your partner in crime.
Did you see them?
They're going out of their minds.
I had to clear the tent
or they'd have torn it down.
- You should see the money coming in.
- By this time tomorrow...
...we're gonna be on every TV station.
- We can play New Orleans...
- Tell me the truth.
What is this,
an elaborate set-up or what?
What do you think?
Holy shit!
Jonas, I gotta hand it to you.
Getting that kid was genius!
Give that kid a haircut,
put him in some fancy clothes on stage!
- That's money in the bank!
- Maybe he can re-enact it.
Do you know what we could bring in
in Dallas in one week?
Seven figures!
Seven figures, man!
Jonas, man, what do you think?
Come on, Jonas.
- Do it!
- You're a genius, man!
Genius!
Jonas, wait!
Listen. We made a lot of money
and until now it's been great.
- But this is different.
- Come on, Jane.
No! That is not one of our shills in there.
I don't know what,
but something happened.
- You're right about that.
- You can't take this away from him.
- You can't make him into a sideshow.
- You think not?
Wow! You really don't give a shit
about anybody, do you?
Janey, I never pretended I did.
God, you're right.
You never did.
You still don't care who you hurt.
See how this feels.
Jane!
Janey!
Hey, boss.
Remember me? Jack Newton.
Got a question for you.
Why did you make so many suckers?
You say, "Love never endeth."
Well, I say, "Love never starteth!"
"The meek shall inherit the earth."
The meek just get
the short end of the stick!
You say, "Is anyone pure of heart?"
I say, "Not one!"
Rev?
Hello, Boyd.
Why aren't you out
signing autographs? Or dancing?
I need to ask you a question.
I wanted to know
when you planned to leave town.
Leave? A couple of days, I guess.
Well, I wanted to know
if I could go with you.
- Well...
- I can do things. I'll earn my keep.
You're too old
to be running away with the circus.
No, it's not that.
Look, you made me walk again.
Many people tried that, but they couldn't.
Hold it, kid.
I had nothing to do with you walking.
Sure you did.
I run a show here. A lot of smoke
and noise strictly for the suckers!
I've been pulling scams
since I was your age.
If there's one thing I know,
it's how to spot the genuine article.
That's what you gotta watch out for.
Not the cops.
You can always get around the cops.
But what you can never get around
is the genuine article.
And you, kid, are the genuine article.
- Are you saying you think you're a fake?
- I know I'm a fake.
What difference does it make,
if you get the job done?
Kid, it makes
all the difference in the world.
Boyd?
Everyone's looking for you.
OK.
Well, what do you think?
All right, kid, I'll tell you what.
I'll meet you in front of the diner
at ten in the morning.
So I'll see you then?
I'll be back in a minute.
I want to thank you.
I don't know why my brother's walking,
but I'll be grateful for the rest of my life.
Marva?
Ten in the morning, your brother's
gonna be standing in front of the diner.
- Give him a message for me?
- Yeah.
Tell him that just because
a person didn't show up,
doesn't mean that the person
doesn't care about him.
You read it?
OK, we'll go over it again.
"The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want..."
Here you go.
Come back for seconds.
Jane. You OK?
Hi.
Thanks.
Souvenir of someone I once knew.
- Where are you headed?
- Pensacola, Florida.
Never been there.
- Are you in some kind of trouble?
- No, no, no.
No, sir.
Maybe for the first time in my life I'm not.
Well, damn! Would you look at that?
Yes, sir!
Yes, sir!
Praise Jesus!
Come on, baby!
Come on, baby, rain!
Rain!
Thank you, Jesus!