1
(WAVES)
(WAVES)
(GASPS)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(WATER RUNNING)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
(DOOR SLAMS)
(BIG BANG)
Hello?
Now?
We're out.
Hey Tom.
One sec.
You in the bathroom man?
That was the front desk.
They found your wallet
under a blackjack table
with your room key.
Shit, we fucking said that
didnt we?
Well birthday boy, hop to it.
Some of us have
careers to live.
(BOTTLE OPENING)
(CHUGGING)
Tom, it's been five minutes.
I think you're...
You feeling alright?
I don't know.
I had a nightmare this morning
that I was running
in slow motion
and my father
was still alive again
and heas chasing me.
That's nice.
He's trying to catch up.
Wish you a happy birthday.
Alright.
I have to be in my office
at noon and I still have
to shower and shave.
There he is.
Welcome to 30 buddy. How?
Same as it does every week we're
here except down a hundred.
Come on man, it's a big deal.
I mean just a day ago
I would've considered you
a slacker.
Now you've graduated to fuck up.
That's very kind.
Ah, come on man.
I'm kind of kidding.
Anyone taking these soaps?
(EXHALES)
Missed a fine group of ladies
last night.
Came down to the tables
just as you doofuses stumbled
back drunk.
Toilet paper? Anyone?
Last chance. Sold.
Single ass wasted on single.
Yeah, I don't think Jackie
would appreciate you
calling me single.
Until you get once of these...
you're single.
Well, you tell her
when she wants me to then I wil.
But I'm not going to...
Hang on a sec.
Hey. What are those?
Oh, flyers. This is for Phil's.
Falafel and that's for
free beginners night
at salsa fever.
Cool.
You ever eat at Phil's Falafel?
No.
Do you salsa?
(LAUGHS) Nah.
Me neither.
You want to get 'em off
my fucking car?
I don't know. Some prick.
Hey Sasha.
Can you make a picture for
my friends and me?
I'm kind of busy right now.
Can I make you one later?
Sasha, get over here
and stop bothering Tom.
Hey Kora,
it's no problem.
Half a day of school
so mommy's extra busy today.
Have a nice day Tom.
I'll see you later.
Let's go Sashi.
Hey, garbage fingers.
Hey, garbage fingers.
Hey, garbage fingers.
Come Here.
Jesus. Hey Gnat.
Come here.
I don't want to shout.
The new guy, upstairs.
Ah, he's early.
Did he say he was moving
in today?
Im not sure.
Last I checked,
I didn't give a fuck.
That shower head
I asked you to pick up
like 50 years ago.
You got to wake up kiddo.
Yeah I bought it Friday.
I'll grab my tools,
I'll head up.
Listen, I got a lot of new peope
in the building
so I'm counting on you.
There are more exspensive lots
I got to worry about.
You understand?
I want to see this place
cleaner than Mayberry.
What's Mayberry?
It's a fruit.
Go!
(KNOCKING)
Come in.
It's unlocked.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey. Wow! Penthouse.
Yup. Just renovated it.
Mine still looks like shit.
What's up man?
Hey.
Tom your super.
Davis.
Welcome to the hood man.
Yeah thanks, listen, ah...
Gnat said the shower was supposd
to be fixed 6 hours ago.
Oh yea, sorry man.
He didn't tell me that you were
moving in today so
communication kind of
got miss-communicated.
I called you.
Yeah? Oh yeah.
The phone company shut off
my service off 2 days back
cause I was late this month.
Got to get an online
pay thing set up.
I left a message.
Ah, I've been in A.C.
with my boys shit faced
the whole weekend.
You know how it gets.
Nah, I don't gamble or drink.
Religious?
Nah look.
I don't mean to be a dick dude.
But I missed a meeting.
I really need to shower.
Yeah, yeah, sure. Sorry.
Of course man.
Don't worry. I'll be out of here
faster than a 13 year old
in a whorehouse.
If I had this place
every day would
feel like vacation.
It's temporary.
Yeah, you should
stick around.
I've been here
7 years.
Huh, time flies.
Don't even ask
how I ended up here.
Is that sage I smell?
I light sage to meditate.
What's that do for you?
Well meditating helps
(EXHALES)
Well meditating helps.
Well meditating helps
you focus.
What?
Meditating helps you focus!
It's important.
I'd say it's as
important as breathing.
Breathing's important.
(SHOWER SPRAY)
(LAUGHS)
Okay.
She's nice and wet.
Oh, thanks man.
Um... It was nice meeting you.
Yeah same.
Hey feel free to
come over sometime.
I'm in 1R.
Hey, you smoke?
No.
You are religious.
No, actually
my mother died
of lung cancer.
Jesus, sorry man.
It's alright.
Well... I mean other stuff.
Illegal stuff?
Nah no, weed.
No.
Yeah, okay good,
good, cause I was
going to say
whatever you do here
just make sure
it's in the privacy
of your apartment.
People here are pretty
tolerant as long as
you don't flaunt anything.
Well thats good to know. Thank.
Could you uh lock
the door on your
way out please.
Yeah man. Later.
Can we push each other
to do push-ups from now on?
Sure.
You do 25.
Nah don't do it.
Okay.
You meet the new dude
I have not.
He's a dick.
What kind of dick?
A condescending...
kind of yuppie-ish.
Eighties bad guy yuppie?
Black yuppie.
Bluppie.
Yeah.
Coffee?
Sure.
How many cups is that today?
I don't know.
Three, four, six.
Wow.
Wow what?
Dr. Sanjay Gupta says
you're supposed to have
8 cups of water a day
and coffee counts.
What's he say
about heart attacks?
He says 12 hours
on a laptop a day is
equal to a pack of cigs.
I guess I, m
not doing well am I?
It'll also give you dick cancer.
Nice.
Oh hey, I saw a new girl moved
into Mrs. Saco's apartment.
It's a girl?
I'd say a woman.
A woman?
She's hot.
Ah hey babe.
Ah I'm just sitting here
over at Tom's.
He Say's Hi.
Hey babe.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Hey babe.
Hey babe.
Hey.
You didn't even see me coming.
I did.
This sandwich keeps falling apa.
Next office party,
tell them their sandwiches
need more bread.
Here, let me get...
I have what?
You have something...
Oh get it. Did you get it?
Thanks, I was wondering
where the meet was.
(LAUGHS)
So, how was work today?
Did you get any new clients?
No, some guy canceled a project
so... I lost $150.
But, I'm getting 100 bucks for
fixing a band page
for some high schoolers so...
So I was um...
talking to my friend
Peter today.
Peter? Who's Peter?
A guy from my department.
Peter.
Don't worry.
He's like 50 and has
like 2 kids.
Anyways, I told him about you
and your brilliance.
He has 2 friends that
have a company
that do what you do
but on like a way much
bigger level.
I mean they, they have
these websites and they
design them and program them
for real companies you know.
And uh...
he said if you wantme
or a portfolio
he'd be happy to send it along.
Thank you.
I just don't really think
I need any help right now.
I...
I'm happy.
Okay, I just, I think this
is a really great opportunity,
you know.
You should take advantage of it.
You should take what you know.
Well I'm fine on this step
right now.
I don't have anybody
to answer to,
I make decent money
and I like freelancing.
Yeah, maybe things are
a little slow right now
but It'll pick up.
It'll pick up?
That's all I ever here is.
It'll pick up.
News flash,
it wont pick up.
Hey...
Well you can't keep taking
these hits forever.
You know, you...
Things will always be unstable
when your boss is fucking
craigslist.
You know,
I mean you need a stable job.
I mean, even your buddy Tom
who's the only one I've ever met
to get a b.w.i. for drunk
bike riding...
he has a stable job
or two.
Ok, they're sad,
menial, low-life...
Look, look,
This is me you know?
You have to except that.
Well Ray,
it might get kind of hard.
Who's next? You?
You? What do you want?
A dragon with a dog head.
A dragon with a dog head?
Yeah.
I don't know how you
came up with that
but okay I'll draw it.
Dragon...
I need some crayons Sasha.
That's not a dog.
Well it's not a dog head yet.
Hold on. You have to
give me time.
Alright.
You're so impatient.
You just got told by this fool.
I did get told.
A dragon with a dog head.
I'm drawing very quickly.
How you draw fast?
There's the feet,
you see the feet?
Uh no.
Look, look, look
the wings, look.
How about bigger?
Bigger?
I'm going to need
another sheet here.
No, bigger.
Bigger like this?
Like that bigger?
Bigger is bigger.
Alright, let me make
the dog eyes.
That bigger!
Look, you see the eye?
Uh, not really.
(LAUGHS)
It's coming.
A dragon with a dog head.
Here you go buddy.
Wow!
Who's next?
Who's next here?
Alright, Sasha is next.
(KNOCKING)
Will man...
Hey, you look great.
What's up?
Yeah I'm sorry, I know
it's 7p.m.
What the hell are
your hours man?
Fuck off.
Well I have to.
I fucking promised Gina
I'd take her out
after work.
But I have to give you
the stereo now
for poker tomorrow night.
I'm going to be working late.
I'm hosting poker tomorrow?
Yeah dude
wake up.
And shit!
I left it in the fucking car.
I'll be right back.
Hi, I'm Colette.
(SPITTING)
Hi, I'm Colette.
Hi, I'm Colette.
(KNOCKING)
Hi, I'm Colette.
Hi, I'm Colette.
I just moved in upstairs.
Are you the super?
Hi, Im the super.
Hi, did I wake you?
No.
(PHONE RINGS)
Oh I'm sorry I um
one sec.
Nance?
You guys are there already?
No, no I'm coming.
My last run was at 4 so
I had to come home to
change but my stuff
is still in boxes so.
Yeah, I'm going to change
and hop into a cab.
Hold on.
Im really sorry, um...
can I talk to you later?
Yeah, sure.
Hi.
Uh, going to run upstairs
and I'll be there in 10.
Okay.
Tell me that thing did
not just walk out
of this apartment.
Yeah.
Well not from inside.
Ah.
Well.
Excuse me.
Is this a safe area?
Uh, yeah.
Really?
Well actually.
When I first moved here
there were like prostitutes
right where
you're standing.
And over there
on that corner I think
here was a drug ring.
But that hasn't
been that way in...
in years.
Yeah welling settle?
Hey what's up man?
What part of Friday
don't you understand?
Listen!
Ok, sorry.
Work with me
just a little, please.
It's the only day I have.
I already took off
for the move.
I can pick him up
in the morning.
Let's ask him
for a change.
Hey, you're still in here?
I'm just relaxing.
I actually don't feel very well.
I feel kind of nauseous.
So I've been thinking
about it.
I'm going to get in
touch with that friend
Peter of yours.
Why the sudden change?
I guess it's scary
to prove I'm better
than this but
I know am and
I know I love you.
And
if I get defensive sometimes.
I'm sorry.
Listen, why don't you
come over to my place tonight.
I'll take care of you.
Ok.
Wait, don't you have your um
poker game tonight?
Yeah.
But there will
be lots of girls there.
Will's bringing Gina.
No.
Please don't make me.
Ok, I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal then.
If you are not smiling
in the next ten seconds,
you don't have to play.
Deal?
(SPLASHING)
(SCREAMING)
No, that wasn't the deal.
That wasn't the deal.
Ok, everyone good?
Yeah.
Payers.
Three of hearts, three of hearts.
That means I...
What are you going to do?
I check.
That was a good check.I'm.
I'm out. I fold.
No, no, you don't
have to fold yet. You have.
No helping.
He's not helping
he's just letting me fold.
Alright, alright.
Alright, well someone has
to make it interesting.
Yeah, too rich for my blood.
I'm out.
Come on. Don't let him
bluff you out of this.
Come on baby.
Well, your money
is my money anyway
so what can I say.
Um... Yeah. All in.
Let's see it.
What you got?
Trip threes!

My trip sevens!
You probably planned
that all night.
What?
How could I plan that?
Don't hate the p
hate the game.
I hate a lot of things
that you put before me.
Wow.
Maybe that's what
happens when you treat
sex like a chore.
Really?
Baby, I'm kidding.
Awkward.
Um...
should we take a break?
You know what I was thinking?
What?
I feel like the four of us,
you, me Ray and Will.
We should like
one afternoon this week.
Head out of town,
take one of the trucks from work.
Take a mini vacation.
Oh man.
And the reason
I suggest this...
Jump up.
Ready for this?
Oh!
A friend of.
Brian's was staying
and went abroad
so he left it with us.
Shit. Wow.
White Widow.
White Widow?
Yeah, white widow.
Oh man.
I know, right.
It's amazing.
Someone is coming.
Sh, put it away
someone is coming.
Oh, that's the
new chick from upstairs.
She lives upstairs?
She is foxy.
(LAUGHS)
Yup.
You better be careful.
Of what?
Please.
I'm gay and
I'd do her.
Alright
I'll try and keep my distance.
I'm not saying
keep your distan
I'm just saying...
Hey!
What's up super?
Colette.
Colette, that's right.
I can't believe you
remember after how
rude I was yesterday.
Oh nah.
Hey,
I'm Colette.
Colin. Pleasure.
Do you live
in our building also?
No,
I'm just a friend.
You want one of these?
Umm, yes.
Thank you.
I'm down to
a pack a week
but if it comes from you
it doesn't count.
Right.
We've got a poker game
going on if
you want to join us.
I'm sure there's a seat,
right tom?
Oh, I still have
work to sort out
for tomorrow
but thank you.
Well,
it's a pleasure
to meet you.
I'm sure Tom
will keep you company,
I have to get back in.
We meet again.
We meet again.
So, I didn't mean
to run away yesterday.
Ah, no.
It's fine.
I was actually
looking for nails
to hang this mirror.
Nails.
I got nails.
You want a nail?
I'm too buzzed
right now to...
Ah. Here, here.
I'm not drinking
right now,
I was drinking inside.
Oh.
(LAUGHS)
Why is that funny?
What are you laughing about?
I shouldn't have
gone out tonight.
Yes you should have.
It took me
an hour on the subwat
to get home.
An hour.
Well it's the most
beautiful time of the year
I'd say.
Yeah.
It's so romantic.
So what kind of
work do you
have to sort?
I have to
get ready for
prospective buyers
for tomorrow.
I'm in real estate.
Real estate?
Wow.
I mean what
are you doing here?
You should be giving yourself
an apartment on
the upper westside.
I know right.
God, if the world
worked like that.
But actually
I love this area.
I mean.
Our building
has great energy.
Great energy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually
this whole row
here was built in 1897.
1897?
By a wealthy family
of doctors.
No way.
How do you know that?
Well Im..
I'm the super.
I have super abilities.
Like super random facts.
Super random facts.
Yeah.
Oh my god
you're a nerd.
Whoa
hey.
It's fine.
I am a closet nerd too.
Alright.
So your secret
is safe with me.
Ok,
I'm glad we
got that out
of the way.
Well,
come back sometime.
I'll have more for you.
You're leaving?
I have to get back
to the game.
I'll walk you in.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Let me help you down.
Okay.
Okay.
(KNOCKING)
One sec.
One sec!
(KNOCKING)
One sec!
One sec!
Who is it?
Ray,
I'm your neighbor
under you.
Oh, hey.
I'm Ray.
Davis.
I took this out
of your smoke alarm
before you moved in
for my carbon monoxide
detector.
I thought you
should have it
back so you don't die.
Ah well,
I already replaced it.
So...
Oh.
Come in.
I don't want
to bother you.
Hey man,
you ain't bothering me.
Want some tea?
Oh, I mean
I'm fine.
I don't want o take
your tea.
Alright.
This is great.
You've got
the biggest apartment
in the building.
Yeah.
(LAUGHS)
Well
I just lost a house.
Oh.
Foreclosure?
No.
No.
The judge let her
keep it.
The uh...
the glass is broken
from the move.
The puncture holes
are probably mine.
That's your son?
Yup.
Six years old.
He's a good boy.
We tried to stay
married for as long as
we could.
Is he here?
She kept him too.
Uh, she's a grade school
teacher with tenure.
You know those judges,
they love that
sort of thing.
Yeah.
Those judges.
Those judges.
Mind if I ask you
a personal question?
You ever think about
remarrying?
You know,
I would have to
do a lot of
healing before I could even
think about dating again.
But...
(LAUGHS)
Who knows?
Oh.
(PHONE VIBRATES)
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry I forgot
I have to.
It's my girlfriend.
I'm supposed to
take her to an appointment.
That's good.
You're responsible.
Thanks
for the tea.
Listen,
I hate to run out
on you like this.
No, its's fine.
I got to get my
day started anyway.
Let's do it
again sometime.
Absolutely.
(LIGHTER FLICK)
Hey! Tom.
Hey.
Thank you so much
for those nails.
That was so sweet.
Yeah, keep 'em.
I got a collection.
Okay.
You off somewhere?
I do cardio
before work.
You jog?
When I'm late.
(LAUGHS)
Actually, today I'm getting
my exercise bike riding.
I got to go
pick up some hotdogs,
a forty and cigarettes.
Ah.
Well...
don't drink and ride.
Ah.
B.W.I.
Been there
twice.
Never mind.
Okay. Ah...
Hey, that park's
like safe to jog right?
Yeah.
Just beware of the wolves.
They like to prey
on new joggers.
(LAUGHS)
So ah...
This is the loft.
I was
telling you guys about.
Uh...
It's a little...
raw.
As you
can see but...
that can actually
be a really good thing.
You know, cause
you can make it your own.
What do you
guys think?
It's a little smaller
than I was
expecting.
I don't know
if this is quite
right for us muffin.
So uh...
(KISSING SOUND)
So uh...
So uh...
this is pretty much
the size you're
going to get with
your budget.
In the City.
I want you
(KISSING SOUNDS)
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
to lead me.
Ok, so now
lead me across.
That is good.
(DOOR CLOSE)
but I want you
to break away this time ok?
Very nice.
Hi.
What's your name?
Hi, Colette.
Give me one second.
Ok, just put yuour stuff down.
Yeah, we just
started class.
This is Davis.
Davis, this is Colette.
Davis, can you help her out?
Yeah.
Awesome, thank you.
Have you
done this before?
No.
Okay.
Um...
Just follow me.
Ow. Uh...
(LAUGHS)
Alright, um...
You got to
lead with your
right foot.
Okay, okay.
Not bad.
Did I see you
jogging in the park
the other day?
Maybe.
I jog.
Are you
following me?
No,
I just moved into the area.
Me too.
Alright, hold up.
'Kay.
This is my
second time.
(LAUGHS)
Okay, good.
I don't feel so bad.
Okay.
Alright.
Quick learner huh?
I'm just stepping.
Alright,
you're doing okay.
I probably should've
stayed home.
Breaking toes is
a bad way to
meet new people.
Let me know if you
need me to
carry you.
Okay but I think
I'll make it.
I'm just down
the block.
Oh yeah? Me too.
Well.
It was a pleasure
meeting you Davis.
You saw the flyer
in our hall.
Top floor.
I didn't know.
I swear.
See you
soon Colette.
You think
(LIGHTER FLICK)
You think.
You think
(COUGHS)
You think.
You think
marriage can be a
good idea
some people?
Like...
Maybe if you're
a Russian chick
who needs a visa.
You think marriage
could enhance
a relationship?
(LAUGHS)

I don't know man.
I've never even
had anything close to
that level.
Why?
That guy Davis,
upstairs,
I met him today.
He just
got divorced.
Really?
I'm surprised.
He seems like such a catch.
He's nice.
We had tea.
Yeah?
He doesn't
that a drug?
I'm thinking
(CHEWING)
I'm thinking
I'm thinking
about proposing to Jackie
so hearing all that
kind of made
me nervous.
I'm thinking about proposing
(COUGHS)
I'm thinking about proposing
I'm thinking about proposing
to jackie.
Wait.
Ja...
She's...
she's strong arming you
into
proposing?
Wait, you mean.
Like
marriage?
I'm not being
strong armed.
But...
your apartment is
too small.
No shit.
You're saying
you want to move?
No, I figured I'd
live in this
castle my whole life.
Did you
guys already talk
this over man?
Is this going down?
What about...
Love!?
Isn't that supposed
to factor?
Alright,
you want the truth?
She told me at lunch.
We did it
raw a couple times.
She thought her
birth control didn't...
I took her to
the doctor.
We got into a big
argument that night.
She said she wanted
to keep it if I did.
The more I thought
about it,
I did.
I want to
make this work.
I love her
and I proposed.
Jesus.
Jesus man.
Why didn't you
tell me?
I have hundreds
of condoms
I don't
use.
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
What?
I'm just being
honest man.
You're my friend.
Maybe I don't
need your honesty.
I didn't
ask your opinion.
Mayb I just need
a fucking congratulations or
something.
You think I want
to spend the rest
of my life like this?
Getting
fucked up like
you all day.
Fuck that.
Fuck you.
You are
such a piece
of shit.
Get out.
Get out of
my apartment.
Alright.
Congratulations.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Congratulations.
(DULL SMASH)
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
What you need
is advice from someone
who's been there.
Who?
No body.
(EXHALES)
No body.
No body.
I mean
up till now
I've kind of been the guy
in uncharted waters but
you just sailed
right past me.
I don't even have
enough money for her
birthday. Her birthday?
Fuck her birthday man!
You make less then I did
I did on my allowance
when I was ten.
You should
be at Kinkos right now
printing resumes.
I don't think
I've ever even
used a resume.
I've always
just gotten by.
How'd you get your job?
Can you get me one?
Ah...
Sorry buddy.
It took a lot
of dick sucking
to work my way
up to that dead end.
Dead end?
Yeah, you don't want
my job man.
I make shitty radio commercials.
Deal with clients
I want to kill.
I don't know.
I guess some people like it.
But they're retarded.
Look man,
you've got a chance
to find your own bliss.
You see that
abyss out there?
That's the working world man.
Time to
get off the post college gravy
train, you got a kid coming.
And marriage is...
just make
sure you take some time
to figure it out.
You know, I mean
I didn't know
what a
responsibility marriage
was until Gina
and I got hitched.
Hey Will!
Are we still set for later?
Hey.
Uh yeah.
It's uh 7 right?
Ok, see you at 7.
Alright.
What?
That's uh,
that's Lucy.
Nah,
she's just a
work friend.
I'm sorry.
(KEYS)
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
(BUZZING)
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
(BUZZING)
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
So much.
Again. I...
(EXHALES)
I grab the wrong
keys this morning.
I'm all over the place.
It's alright.
You look like you use
a drink. You want a beer?
I had a
forty once.
In college.
One day
we should play a little
Edward Forty-Hands.
You duct tape a
forty in each hand
and see who finishes first.
(LAUGHS)
Wow.
Actually I'm more
of a wine girl
to be honest.
An uptown girl.
Ok, we can adapt.
We'll play
Amy Wine-Hands.
Just use wine bottles.
You know
(LAUGHS)
You know.
You know
a lot of dri.
You don't seem
like a drinker.
Do I seem
like a loser?
No, I just mean
you look healthy.
Awesome save, yeah.
I used to be a lot
more fun though.
God, I'm so lame.
Aw,
what happened?
I don't know.
Living with the ex
the last four years
sucked the life
out of me I guess.
Well...
(EXHALES)
Well...
Well...
Cheers.
To...
New beginnings.
(BOTTLE CLANG)
To new beginnings.
You have work tomorrow?
(DRINKING)
You have work tomorrow?
You have work tomorrow?
No.
Let's chug.
Are you crazy?
Here's to lame.
(CHUGGING)
What!?
(LAUGHS)
You know
I was kidding right?
No you weren't!
Chug it.
(LAUGHS)
Do you
(GARGLES)
Do you
(LAUGHS)
Do you.
Do you
have a habit
that I am feeding?
No.
I'll grab us
another beer.
Dude, I just
drank a forty.
I can't do another beer.
Hey, what's with
(EXHALES)
Hey, what's with.
Hey, what's with
all these flyers?
I see them posted
in the hall.
I design them.
A little side job
for local businesses.
Is that why you have
(LAUGHS)
Is that why you have.
Is that why you have
your easel there?
I guess.
Could I look around?
Yeah sure,
be my guest.
How much
(LAUGHS)
How much.
How much
do you draw?
Oh my god.
This is funny.
(LAUGHS)
This is funny.
This is funny.
This is
really funny.
These are great.
You don't sign these?
Yeah...
I don't know.
I don't sell them
or anything.
Its just something
I like to do
when I'm bored.
I dont have cable.
These are
great.
You should
at least sign these.
I mean send
them somewhere,
do something.
Well I uh,
I went to college
for visual arts
and all they kept
telling us was how
hard it is so
I dropped out.
It was all
politics, greed, competition, t.
I figured
if I couldn't escape
that dishonesty
in school,
fuck it,
I don't want to you know,
deal with it
so I dropped out.
I figured I'd rather
keep it as a hobby
and be happy
then loose my passion
getting jaded and bitter.
You know,
keep the sould intact.
Well...
you are not
in college anymore.
So...
Why not
give it a shot.
On your own
terms?
I'm happy.
You are?
Well...
no.
But I'm
not sad.
Ambivalent?
I'm not that either.
(INHALES)
Your work
is really honest.

I think the world
needs more honesty.
Um...
Have you seen
(EHALES)
Have you seen
(LAUGHS)
Have you seen.
Have you seen
my other shoe?
Oh!
Uh...?
That um...
That wasn't palnned.
It's okay. I don't
mind.
I know you
live in the building. Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, no offense.
You're um, you're a really
cool guy and
this is great to chill
with you but um,
I just need this place
as uncomplicated as possible.
You know, its...
It's my first time alone,
on my own...
Listen.
You don't have to...
I didn't mean to offend you.
I'm a little drunk,
it was a little out of
left field.
I'm sorry.
Why don't you just stay,
finish your beer.
I mean
I'm having a
really nice time with you.
I just wish
I couldn't
have ruined it.
And if you stay
and finish it it won't be weird.
If you leave now
it will be weird.
Stay,
the weirdness will pass.
And we'll chill and have fun
hands off.
Hands off?
I think that...
I really enjoyed that.
Uh-huh
I think that
I did too.
Might have been
a little too spontaneous
for me.
Too spontaneous?
I haven't done that
with anybody since
my ex and I've never
done it with anybody I just met.
Well...
Good cause we
didnt just like meet
at a bar
or something tonight.
Tom.
I'm not prepared
for anymore hurt.
Who say's I'm going
to hurt you?
I'm not like
whatever guys you've...
I'm a girl.
It's different.
Okay?
Uh, okay.
Okay so.
Okay so.
This just entered
like a whole other realm
of feelings for me. I...
This is the first time
(EXHALES)
This is the first time.
This is the first time
in my life
I feel like I can breath,
you know, and I just
feel like I'm moving
from one situation into
another intense situation.
We haven't even
been on a date.
You haven't even asked
me out on a date and...
You know, it's like...
I see.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Come here.
I have an idea.
Imeant dinner
not breakfast.
Please.
Your apartment
is a time eating vortex.
I thought you said you
don't have work today.
I don't but...
I still like to
get out early,
you know?
Enjoy this
beautiful day,
don't you?
No, I hate mornings.
My circadian rhythm
is different than most peoples.
Your what?
My 24 hour biological
system is different.
I sleep,
get up,
eat,
all different hours.
Wow,
that is one lame
excuse for bad habits.
Are all your friends
as slackery as you?
You mean handsome?
Anybody can change
their habits
if they wanted.
Hey.
Bad.
Well That's odd.
This used to be
the breakfast place.
Wow.
When's the last
time you actually came here?
Last time?
Probably uh...
I don't get out
much around here
during the day so...
What do you
do when you're
not working?
Uh, sleep,
draw,
poker,
eat
smoke...
up.
What do you
do outside of
your vortex?
Probably...
I don't...
I think you're
the most unhealthy
person I've ever met.
Really?
Really.
Come on.
What?
I want to show you something.
I really didn't know
there was so
much to see
in this park.
Mmm
I had a lot
of fun today.
And I would
love
to do it again.
As soon as possible.
It's nice to get out.
Well...
I think
that I saw a flyer
the other day for
a free salsa class
tomorrow night.
Are you asking
(LAUGHS)
are you asking
are you asking
me to salsa?
Why is
that funny?
Because asking
me to salsa is
like asking a bird to swim.
Ducks swim
(LAUGHS)
I want you
to come with me.
Yeah?
Yeah.
(KISSING)
Mmm.
Is that a yes?
Yes.
(KNOCKING)
Whoa...
Hey, hey, hey.
Quit knocking like
that man.
Quit knocking l.
I'm sorry.
Hey man.
I...
I can't sleep.
What's the matter?
I messed up.
Come in, come in.
It's 4:30 a.m.
Your apartment
smells like fish testicles.
I'm frying tuna,
wants some?
Is there enough?
I'll open another can.
So today was our
our anniversary dinner.
I didn't realize
till yesterday because I've
been thinking about so much.
Slow down,
slo... slow down.
You want raisins in yours?
Sure.
So...
at dinner I gave
her an I.O.U.
card instead.
You what?
Well I didn't know
hat else to do.
She got me a
watch and said it was
supposed to help keep
me more organized
which is really ironic because
I forgot her fucking present
but I didn't.
I had it! I got her a juicer
at the last minute in Target
cause I know she likes juice.
So you had a present.
No.
That's the thing.
I didn't buy it.
I parked
my shopping cart
outside and then I went into
the bathroom and
took a forty minute dump.
(LAUGHS)
And then
when I came out some
teenagers who saw me go in
were snickering
so I got flustered and
ran out and left the present.
Left the present.
You took
a forty minute dump
in Target?
I couldn't help it!
All I could afford were greesy
hotdogs for lunch.
Now she won't
speak to me.
What the hell
(COUGHS)
What the hell.
What the hell
(SPITS)
What the hell.
What the hell
am I eating?
Tuna with curry and raisins.
I think
I'm going to go
back to school.
This is all like a dream man,
I just want to wake up.
You know what you need?
Tomorrow... we're going to
have fun. We're going to get
away from all this.
Collin left a message.
Is it what I think?
Don't worry, alright?
We're all just going
to go and forget about
life for a bit. Okay?
There he is.
Hey.
Bastards.
Uncle Collin is taking you on
a good old fashioned.
Hot box
surprise!
Yes!
Surprise!
Yeah guys,
this isn't a surprise.
I really thought we were just
gonna like...
I really don't have time
to do this.
Just get in.
If I get busted for
possesion I want to be high.
No one is getting busted
for posession.
Just get in
and enjoy yourselves.
Sit down.
Enjoy.
Ive got everything planned.
Plans are for pussies.
(EXHALES)
Plans are for pussies.
Plans are for pussies.
How high do I look?
(SIRENS)
Shh..
Shh..
Shh..
Shh..
Shh...
Shh...
Shut up.
(BANGING ON THE DOOR)
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
Oh!
Oh!
You mother fucker!!
This man is
going to have a child
out in the world.
How does
that feel?
How does it feel.
Dad?
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
Whoa.
Look at him go.
Bye dad.
Bye!
Where is dad going?
I have no clue.
Ray!
Ah, let him go.
I probably shouldn't
have mentioned that.
Thinking about it.
Ray!
He's a big boy.
There's nothing there.
Oh no. There's a
town and there's
a bus stop.
But they're not close.
(LAUGHS)
I am really stoned.
I don't think I can um...
I don't think I can
drive us.
So one of you
is going to have to
do that.
Hey Gnat.
(WATER RUNNING)
Hey Gnat.
(WATER RUNNING)
Hey Gnat.
Hey Gnat.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hey Gnat.
Hey Gnat.
Tommy, nice of you
to answer.
Where the hell you
been all day?
Your phone goes right
to voice mail. Listen, I'm
at the movies with Julie.
I need you to do me a favor.
Yeah, what's up?
(BEEPING)
What's that beep?
I've got to charge
my phone. What's up?
I need you to go over
to the apartments on Washington.
Apartment 3B.
Lady say's there's a leak.
Oh, Gnat
I'm kind of busy right now.
I have a date in literally
an hour.
Really?
So I guess I
should take that as a no.
Yeah.
I mean
no.
So I guess you're
not on my payroll this month.
And I guess I'm not
paying you as my super
and I guess I'm not paying
you as my handyman either.
Well you know what?
I guess your fucking rent
just sky rocketed.
In fact, I'm going to do
everything humanly possible
to make sure you get
evicted immediately.
How does
eviction sound?
Gnat,
I got it dude!
I'm on it!
You know what Tommy?
I put up with a lot
of shit from you.
Especially when you go M.I.A
for days in Atlantic
fucking City.
You got a date?
Well you got
a whole hour kiddo,
hop to it.
I don't want
anymore chocolate.
Two.
I can make this.
I can make this.
Just call her,
just call her.
(SPLASH)
I can make this,
just call her.
Just don't call
her, don't ca.
Yeah, Tommy. What's
Yeah, Tommy. What's
(RINGING)
Yeah, Tommy. What's.
Yeah, Tommy. What's
the word?
Yo, this is bad Gnat.
There's like water
all over the place.
I think a pipe
burst or something
above the ceiling.
Am I going to
have to pay for
any damage?
Yeah, yeah. There's a
very good chance man.
Listen, is there someone
like really professional that
we can call right now?
What are you talking about?
You're not a professional?
I mean yeah, but
this is a job for...
So you don't know
how to fix this?
You're being rude.
I... I... I mean
I think so.
I would have to
put my hand through
a very soggy ceiling,
pull out a hole,
see what pipe it is,
replace the pipe.
It could be like
three stories up man.
Alright good.
So whatever you
got to do just do it
and fix this shit okay.
The movie is about to
start in a few minutes.
I'll call you when I
get out alright? Thank you.
Gnat, this is like a
2 day job man. I'd have
to like replace the...
Evening Colette.
(WATER SPLASHING)
Evening Colette.
Evening Colette.
(DOOR OPENS)
Evening Colette.
Evening Colette.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Evening Colette.
Evening Colette.
Hey Davis.
What are you doing?
Um...
Just waiting.
Oh,
I missed the sign
up for tonight's
salsa, did you?
Oh, I didn't get
around to that today.
I don't think it's
my thing really.
Oh.
That's too
bad.
It's fun. I mean,
thanks for being
a good partner.
Yeah.
Well look,
hey if you're not
doing anything right
now would you mind...
I'm seeing
someone so.
Helping me with
soemthing from my car.
Um...
(LAUGHS)
Um...
Um...
I'm a little embarrassed
right now.
Don't be.
I'm really sorry.
I'm just...
What do you need?
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to fix this
for you.
I just have to
cancel some plans.
You're kiddning me
(BEEP)
You're kiddning me.
You're kiddning me
(LAUGHS)
You're kiddning me.
You're kiddning me
(LAUGHS)
Yeah well,
the good thing about
this place is
I don't have to share this
floor with any tenants.
Wow!
I like
Brooklyn.
Look, I got trees out here.
It's nice to see when
you wake up in the mornings.
I was going to put
my bedroom on the
second floor but the problem
is the window is facing
the backyard so I
figured why not here.
Brooklyn's not bad.
It's not bad.
You can have
any 3 of these
you want.
Huh?
You can have
any three you want.
Sorry. Uh...
Thank you.
You okay?
Yeah.
No. Um...
No.
I think someone is
dicking me around here.
I can see that.
I mean look, look.
I bet you thought
your night was going
to turn out a lot different
than it did and I was
just going to stay in,
order in again.
I mean why don't we
finish brining up these flowers.
And go grab some...
I don't
I don't think that's good.
That's okay.
I'll make a good...
You know what
sure, I don't care.
Well, don't sound
too excited.
No...
Yes,
let's go eat.
Sure.
Okay.
I pay for myself though.
This is not a date.
A date.
No.
This is me seriously
making sure so you know
where I'm coming from.
This is one-hundred
and fifty percent
friendly.
Well you know
I was just about to propose
to you but I'm glad
you uh, you
settled that for us.
Sorry.
Just dinner.
Just dinner.
Maybe it's just
Maybe it's just
Maybe it's just
Maybe it's just
Maybe it's just.
Maybe it's just
me but I don't...
Thank you.
I don't know what it is,
I don't know if it's me
being cynical but um, I've
just been finding it really
really hard to connect
with people.
You can't loose faith.
You can't.
It's important to...
keep some kind of
connection with someone
no matter what.
Thank you for this.
It's really hard to find
you know, people to
spend time with.
It's bad luck to
cheers with water.
Sorry, I have
I have to work on the
not drinking thing.
You hungry?
Starving.
Alright.
I never come down here,
(SOGGY SOUNDS)
I never come down here,
I never come down here,
Wall Street.
It's really beautiful
at night.
I could write a
review for every restaurant
in a two mile radius.
I've worked here a decade.
Almost.
Really?
You don't
(LAUGHS)
You don't.
You don't
look that evil.
(LAUGHS)
That's funny.
Yeah.
I've done some things
I regret, if I'm
going to be honest.
Sure.
I've made
compromises.
What changed?
I want to be
a good father
to my son.
He means everything to me.
What about you?
What about me?
Ok...
we're being honest?
Um...
I'm getting over a
disappointment
named Steven,
My ex.
Maybe I'm just...
really afraid to be alone.
(EXHALES)
really afraid to be alone.
Really afraid to be alone.
I can't believe
I just said that.
I think we should
do this again some time.
I can't wait.
Gnat, it's Tom.
I stopped the leak
and I fixed the water.
I have to come back
and fix the ceiling.
Okay.
Okay?
What do you
want a medal?
Gnat, I missed a
very important
date for this.
Why don't I let you
in on a little secret there
Tommy.
And I can talk real
slow because you're
probably high.
You didn't do me any
favors tonight, alright?
In case you haven't figured
it out yet, this is
your job.
You did your job.
Congratulations!
Hello?
Yeah?
I'm responsible for your
fucking fuck up?
How about you give
that girl my address and
tell her where to send her
fucking thank you card
cause you would've just
fucked her over even
worse again. You know,
you talk to me like you're
a big fucking child Tommy.
Are you ever accountable? Huh?
Have you ever been reliable
or responsible? For anything?
Huh?
Wake up and
smell the coffee kiddo.
Am I wrong?
Tell me I'm wrong.
No.
I suppose
you're not.
No.
I'm not.
You know...
you may think I'm
an asshole Tommy
and that's fine
but at least I'm
self aware.
My bike?
(HANGS UP)
My bike?
My bike?
(FOOT STEPS)
My bike?
My bike?
My bike?
My bike?
Thanks again.
You good?
Yeah, I've got
to find a spot.
Bye.
Colette,
I just want to talk
to you for a second.
Just let me
say sorry.
Go away Tom.
I just want to
talk to you
I know I
fucked up. I wanted
to be with you tonight
more than anything
in the world.
I'm sorry.
You sleeping with my
(SMASH)
You sleeping with my
(FIGHTING)
You sleeping with my.
You sleeping with my
girl motherfucker?
Stop it!
Steven,
get off of him.
Oh my god.
Steven,
get off of him.
Steven!
N, no, Davis,
Davis,
please that's my ex.
(SMASH)
That's my ex!
Davis please.
Davis, please?
(FIGHTING SOUNDS)
Davis, please?
Davis, please?
Davis!
Davis!
Davis, stop.
Davis stop.
You're going to kill the guy.
Davis.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
(GRUNTING)
Tommy,
(KNOCKING)
Tommy,
Tommy,
what the fuck!?
Gnat,
I had
nothing to do
with anything.
Don't tell me you
didn't know Tommy.
Don't bullshit me.
I'm an emerging
fucking load right now
because of your friend.
Honey, blood pressure.
Gnat,
He's just some guy.
He deserved it,
most of it.
Deserved what?
What are you
talking about?
Wha...
What are you
talking about?
Your buddy Ray.
That's what I'm talking about.
You don't have too
many buddies, no offense.
What are you
talking about?
Uh. Something else.
What about Ray?
He didn't tell you?
Well, I guess
you don't even know then.
That sucks.
Your friend Ray, your boy,
gave his nights notice
over email, ok?
He's gone,
Adios!
Took all his stuff,
his phones disconnected.
What'd he do?
Murder somebody?
Don't tell me, I don't
want to know.
Alright,
do me a favor.
Make me a couple flyers
like you do that says vacant,
put 'em around the
neighborhood and...
I'll give you
a few dollars, uh...
Fifty dollars
for a a few
hours work.
Oh, and pick up
the rest of that
leak stuff okay?
What's wrong?
You look sad.
Don't be sad.
Let me give you a
little advice that my
father gave to me
and I gave to my son.
Friends, you don't need 'em.
They're not important.
Fuck 'em.
You know what's
important?
Work.
No work,
no dinero.
No dinero,
no chicas.
And no chica,
no chug-a chug-a.
You understand?
Oh,
one last thing.
If you see that
fucking Ray, you tell him
I'm going to bite off
his dick and
stick it in his neck.
Well,
(DOOR CLOSES)
Well,
Well,
he's really
simplified.
Fuck.
He cleaned
the fuck out.
He's with her.
We'd have a hundred
messages from Jackie
by now.
He'll call.
I still remember Ray
wearing underwear on his head,
crowning himself beer pong
king at our house party.
(LAUGHS)
That's Ten years ago.
Yeah, well...
I still remember him
throwing up in a
bathroom at Caesar's
then playing blackjack again
all night.
That was two weeks ago.
I'm happy for him man.
I am.
I can't imagine.
I can't imagine.
I can't even see
you and Gina having kids.
Well...
Christ.
Can you imagine
me in that scenario?
Not really.
(LAUGHS)
Not really.
Not really.
I mean...
I'm just
realizing now what
a fuck up I am.
You're not a fuck up.
No, I am.
It's okay.
You said it yourself.
I'm thirty.
I graduated to fuck up.
My dad was an artist.
A very talented guy.
When I was a kid
I'd watch him at his eisel,
cigar in his mouth.
Just completely absorbed.
There's nothing he
loved more
than painting.
The art world is a
brutal place man.
Somewhere along the way
it broke him.
I watched that
light go out.
I was always afraid
that would happen to me.
Well...
Don't let it.
Easier said
than done, right?
So uh...
Gina wants a divorce.
I'm sorry.
No, it's alright.
I had it coming.
I just didn't see it coming.
When did I
become such a prick?
Colette,
(KNOCKING)
Colette,
Colette,
it's me Tom.
I'm not trying to
scare you here.
Just come out please,
for a moment
so we can talk.
Please?
I know you're there.
This is really awkward.
(DOOR OPENS)
Hi.
Let me help you here.
Okay.
Let me help you here.
I've made a lot of
mistakes in my life
and I am sorry.
Me too!
Listen to me Tom.
Because I am not
trying to be cruel, okay?
I would like to continue
living in this building
with at least one ounce
of normalcy from now on.
Okay, I understand.
Tom, I need you to
listen to me.
I'm done.
I told you, I
couldn't handle anymore
disappointment.
It was
interesting,
it was brief,
but it's over.
I need you
to go away now.
Tom,
do you understand?
Yeah.
It's not your fault,
it's just the way
that it has to be.
I'm not in a place
of giving
second chances
or first chances to anyone
right now.
I'm about me.
You should
be about you.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I thought you were
throwing this out.
Uh...
no.
Actually...
I'm selling it.
How much
you want for it?
What do you say...
a buck?
What do you say
about...
twenty?
It's really
good.
Thank you.
It's really good.
Thanks.