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Lego DC Comics Superheroes: Justice League - Gotham City Breakout (2016)
BATMAN: Gotham City, my city.
Long ago I began my one-man crusade to protect her from crime and injustice and then along came Robin. Together we were a dynamic duo of justice defending Gotham from villainous rogues until young Robin grew up. He took the name Nightwing and set out to fight crime on his own in Gotham. But that wasn't the end of Robin's story. A new Robin would soon join our ranks, strengthening our team and extending the reach - of our protective cloak of justice - (ALL GRUNTING) over every dark corner of our beloved Gotham City. - (CLEARS THROAT) - Eh? Oh. (CHUCKLING SHEEPISHLY) Don't worry, Commissioner. Batman and Robin are on the case! Thank you, Batman! With Gotham's vilest villains on the loose, it's good to know our city is in the capable hands of heroes like... You two? Gone again. - (MOUSE SQUEAKING) - (CAT MEOWS) (HARLEY GRUNTING) (MEN SCREAMING) That's it. The last of the precious stones. The rest of them are only semi-precious stones. Not even worth the time it'd take us to steal them. (BOTH EXCLAIMING) Time, Penguin, is the one thing you'll have plenty of once you're back in your cell at Arkham Asylum. But first, let's see how you fit in my new Bat-magnet cage. (GASPS) (YELLING INDISTINCTLY) Bull's-eye! I mean, Penguin's-eye! (CHUCKLES) Good shot, Robin. That should keep him grounded until the police arrive. And that's the reason I'm always the designated driver. - Ta-ta, Pengie! - (ENGINE REVVING) You'll be catching a ride back to Arkham together, Harley. Carpooling is vital to a healthy environment. - (MAN EXCLAIMING) - (HARLEY CACKLING) Hey, watch where you're driving! Whoa! Not you, Batman, you're good. Poor Batman, you'll never catch me. But maybe you'll catch a fish. (CHUCKLES) Like shooting fish in a barrel... Without the barrel. (CACKLING) BATMAN: (OVER SPEAKERS) Give it up, Harley! You're wanted for grand theft, receiving stolen goods and egregious prop comedy. What's the matter, Batman? My jokes driving you bananas? (CACKLING) (GRUNTS) - (GRUNTS) - (GAS ESCAPING) Uh-oh. (HARLEY EXCLAIMING) (CAR HORN HONKS) - Betrayed by my own bananas. Huh? - (RUMBLING) I may be going out on a limb here, Batman. No, wait! I'm definitely going out on a limb! (CACKLING) (YAWNS) You're late, Harl. Sorry, traffic in Gotham will drive you batty. (IMITATES DRUM BEAT) (CACKLES) Poison Ivy. Keep your distance from her, Robin. Associating with common jewel thieves now, are we? "Common"? My share of the gems will go to ensuring the well-being of plants everywhere, Batman. (PLANTS SNARLING) A green thumb doesn't make up for your black heart. (BOTH GRUNT) (ALL COUGHING) Weed killer? Who carries weed killer? The Batman. And also the Robin. (PLANTS GROANING) My babies! (HARLEY AND IVY YELLING) (BOTH GROANING) Perhaps another trip to Arkham will teach you the error of your ways. - And help you turn over a new leaf. - (WHOOSHING) Robin, cover these two until the authorities arrive. Looks like there's one last villain to wrangle. I love it when a plan comes together. (HARLEY WHIMPERS) Hey, look at that! Whoa, cool! In Gotham, everybody pays bus fare. Aren't you the agile one? Hmm. What? Batman! But how? Quite simple, really. You uncannily anticipated my every move as you fled. I simply anticipated you anticipating my every move and adjusted accordingly, beating you to the place I would've chased you to. Impressive. You shouldn't be too surprised, Nightwing! Aw. How did you... Oh, I bet it was my circus aerialist moves that gave me away, right? As well as a few special moves that only I could have taught you. Furthermore, I have deduced the reason for your theatrical game of tag. As today marks the anniversary of the first appearance of the Batman, and as most superheroes are a highly emotional, sentimental lot, you have obviously lured me to this location to set me up for some kind of surprise party. ALL: (WEAKLY) Surprise. - You shouldn't have. - (GROANS) I can't believe he guessed our plan. Again! You know, Batman, you take the fun out of being your friend sometimes. How so? Happy Bat-Birthday, Batman! You see what I did there? Because you put "bat" before "mobile" and "cave"? (CHUCKLES) The rest of the League wanted to be here, but duty calls. Hey, look! Most of the Teen Titans showed up! Milkshake-consuming contest begin! (BOTH SLURPING) (BURPS) - I win! - Aw. (STARFIRE AND CYBORG CHEERING) So I see. Happy anniversary, Bruce. It's hardly happy for the criminals of Gotham City, Diana. I mean, thank you. So, I know you don't want presents, but Robin, Nightwing and I all chipped in and got you something, which is not easy, because what do you buy for a guy who literally has one of everything? Batgirl, he can't literally have one of everything. That's true. I've inventoried the Batcave, there are some things he has two of. Boy, you are rich. Am I in your will? Anyway, we realized there's not some thing we can buy you that you can't buy for yourself. So, your present is something even better. Quality time with us! You're suggesting we take a vacation? ALL: Surprise! Very thoughtful. Unfortunately, crime doesn't take vacations. Gotham needs me. Well, of course it does! But you need a break, and I'll be happy to babysit your fair... Fair-ish city while you're gone. I don't know. The villains in Gotham are a bit different than the ones you're used to. Well, sure, they're different. For one thing, most of them don't even have superpowers. (LAUGHS) I don't think they'll be too big a problem for me. Don't underestimate Gotham's... Bruce, Clark really can handle it. And the rest of the Justice League is only a phone call away. Oh, come on, Batman! If there is one hero in this world that deserves and needs a vacay, it is definitely you. (SIGHS) Fine. What? You'll do it? Of course he said the yes. How could one say no to Nightwing's dreamy eyes of the puppy dog? Hmm-hmm. (SIGHS DEEPLY) (BARKS) Periods of rest are required to operate at peak efficiency. Besides, I'm a fun guy. (ALL CHEERING) - When do we leave? - Right now. Before you change your mind. Oh, man, I wanted one of those freezer pops. (SHRIEKING) (CRUNCHING) Thanks, Beast Boy! Mmm. I usually hate the lime ones. This one's way better. That's because it has my spit on it. - Hmm. - Ugh. Whoa. Now I am feeling the sickness of the stomach. (BAT SQUEAKING) Here on the Bat-refrigerator is a list of emergency numbers, including Commissioner Gordon's cell. If you can't reach me, call him day or night. (CHUCKLES) No problem, worrywart. Just try and have a good time. Also, no video games for Robin after 8:30. It gets him all wound up before his bedtime. What? This whole party was my idea! I'm totally coming, too! - (BAT SQUEAKING) - On a school night? I don't think so. Aw. Positive reinforcement? Self-esteem building? We talked about this. Robin, I think what Batman is saying is that he can't trust Gotham City to an outsider. You know this town and need to look out for Superman. Isn't that right, Batman? Sure. Okay, Batman. Gotcha. Keep the Big Blue Boy Scout out of trouble. (CHUCKLES) Indeed. Hey, are you still here? Because Robin and I really need to get on with our duties. Right, pally? Right, Superman! So long! Farewell! Happy travels! Ready to patrol the city, Superman? I can show you where all the most dangerous criminals like to lurk. No, Robin, I'm afraid your first duty tonight is to complete your homework! - But... - Uh-uh-uh. Butts are for sittin'. Not for sassin'. 'Least that's what my ma used to say. Never understood it. Let's go, youngster. (GROANS) You might as well send me to jail. (CELL DOORS OPENING AND CLOSING) We kept your old cell warm for ya, Harley. Hey, for a girl who likes to play jokes, why is it that Batman always gets the last laugh? (CHUCKLES) Ha! See what you did there. Good one. Ha. Everyone's a comedian. Hey, Mr. J! I'm home! Whoo! (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Huh? Ooh. What's this? Looks like the Bats are leaving the belfry! Well, while the Bats are away, the Joker will play! (CACKLING) (COP CLEARS THROAT) That's really not very funny. No, it's not even a clever twist on the popular idiom involving cats and mice. - (SCOFFS) Agreed. - (HARLEY CALLING) Everyone's a critic. It's you and me now, Spoony. I liberated you from the kitchen. Time to return the favor. Can you do it? Sure thing, loser! Oh, Spoony, you're the greatest. (CACKLING MANIACALLY) BATGIRL: We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! (RAPPING ON GLASS) We're on vacation! Admit it, this was the best idea ever! Yes, and it's been quite refreshing. Time to head back to Gotham. Oh, relax, Batman, you're going to have a great time. You'll never guess what we've got lined up for you. Based on your excessive sentimentality, I theorize that you are taking me on a trip down memory lane, retracing my formative steps with the various mentors who helped me to become the Batman. Ha! Wrong! We're taking you on a trip down memory lane! Retracing your formative steps with the various mentors who... Gah! Don't be too hard on yourself, former Boy Wonder. The only possible destination in this part of the world is this tiny uncharted atoll, the home of my old instructor, the venerable Madame Mantis. We've been exchanging emails with Madame Mantis for weeks now. She seems like such a sweet old lady. You're her all-time favorite student. I just knew you'd want to see her. "Sweet old lady"? What did she teach you, Bats? - Table manners and etiquette? - Ow! I think you could do with a lesson in manners, sonny. Hey! Where'd you come from? I didn't hear you... - Pointing? - Ah! Ooh! Ahhh! Ow! Uncle! Uncle! I couldn't help but hear you clomping around, bird boy. Madame Mantis. Please forgive the brash rudeness of my former apprentice. His youth leads him to foolishness. He is no more brash or foolhardy than you were, my former student. I welcome you back with gladness in my heart, Batface. "Batface"? Madame Mantis, it is so good to... Ow! You lowered your eyes during your bow. Your easy life in Gotham City has made you soft! Forgive me, sensei. "Forgive me"? Madame Mantis, this is Batgirl. Hi, we met online. And you've already hit... Uh, met Nightwing. Allow me to demonstrate to these young ones the art of hospitality. May I offer you some refreshing tea after your long journey? No, no, no. We're fine. We had some on the plane. Really... Why that sounds just lovely, Madame Mantis. Tea? Now that's more like it. I would love some nice, hot... Tea! (BOTH GRUNTING) Please, Madame Mantis! On second thought, I'm more of a coffee person. You want one lump or two? (CACKLING MANIACALLY) - Ow! - (GRUNTS) You must be the space between the teacups. Madame Mantis' unconventional teaching methods instill absolute situational awareness at all times. You're telling me? And I thought you were a tough teacher. I did my best, but my training doesn't hold a candle to the instruction I received here. You wallow in nostalgia, Batface. Nostalgia is the path a fool walks to a pity party. And a pity party is nothing but a stuffed bird in a cage with no door. Or is it? Yes. I see... Wait, what? What are you trying to teach me, Madame Mantis? Only this, a man who does not expect a surprise attack in the middle of hearing wisdom is like a worm who... (YELLS CRY) And you wonder why I never come to class reunions. Come now, student. It will be just like old times. That's what I'm afraid of. (BOTH GRUNTING) Go get her, Batman! - Ow! - (BATGIRL LAUGHS) Ow! No giggling. You have kept much of the skill you learned here, but you still lack the ability to defeat me. Hmm. (GRUNTS) For your final test, you must attack without mercy! Never! Either you destroy me or I destroy you! (YELLS) Madame Mantis, stop this madness! The only way to stop anything is for you to use the forbidden move! (GASPS) "Forbidden move"? Nightwing, what is that? What's the "forbidden move"? I'm not completely sure, but I think it's some kind of move that, for reasons unknown, has been completely forbidden. Thanks. It is the only way to save yourself, Batface. No, stay back. This is my fight. And it's about to end. Ooh! Batface is finally ready to fight! (BOTH GRUNTING) (GROANS) (PANTING) Do it! Finish me and your training will be complete. (GASPS) Batman, you can't! No! Whoa! Madame Mantis is really a man? A very, very, very, ugly man. "Man"? Hardly! It just so happens that I am a Trogowog, and I'll thank you not to forget it. Obviously, I immediately knew from your clumsy attack that you couldn't be the real Madame Mantis. But I played along to find out what you were up to. But who are you? And why did you impersonate Batman's old master? (GRUNTS) I shan't tell you. I am an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a stifling old woman costume. (GROWLS) What do your powers of deduction tell you, Batman? I know only that he's working for a highly-trained and well-equipped mercenary. How can you possibly know that? From the hi-tech smoke bomb that just landed at our feet. - Uh-oh. - (ALL EXCLAIM) Look! Just as I suspected. Deathstroke. Deathstroke? Here? Isn't he some kind of mercenary? Uh, yeah. He's only the most deadly mercenary in the world. Disguised killers. Deadly mercenaries. I never thought I'd be homesick for the peace and quiet of Gotham City. We mustn't lose them. They're our only hope of finding the real Madame Mantis. Less talk. More Bat-pursuit. I guess I have time to brew a fresh pot of coffee before he gets here. My goodness, Batman, that was faster than... You must be Commissioner Gordon. I'm Superman. Yes, I know who you are. I'm filling in for the Dark Knight while he's away on vacation. Vacation? You know, Batman cannot say enough good things about you. He's practically chatty about it! Well, for Batman, anyway. Are we talking about the same guy? What seems to be the problem, Commissioner? - Robin? I thought you were... - Homework done! Time to fight some crime. It's the Joker. That madcap madman has escaped from Arkham Asylum. Again! The Joker! That's about as serious as it can get. We'd better contact Batman and inform him of... What? And ruin his vacation? Nonsense! The Joker's the guy in the clown makeup, right? He may look like a clown, but he's no joke. Batman has a specific Joker protocol to follow. First we round up his known associate... We are not rounding up anything, Boy Wonder. Hello? It's a school night. A growing boy needs eight hours of sleep. I think I can handle this non-powered clown all by myself, thank you. (GROANS) Well, if Batman must be out of town, it's good to know he left Gotham in the capable hands of a hero like... Oh. - You're still here. - Why wouldn't I be? I don't know, I thought you'd be gone. You were still talking. That'd be incredibly rude. Besides, what if you said something important? Well, I try not to save any important information till the end. Never mind. Just go get the Joker. And good luck! No need for luck, Commissioner. Superman is on the case! I'll have the Joker back in Arkham and Robin off to bed in no time. Come, Boy Wonder. So, that's what it's like to finish a conversation. Hmm. Not bad. Hmm. Deathstroke's tracks lead here. Just as I feared. Holy hole in the wall! Wow. You actually say things like that. I do not say "Holy" all the time. I said it a couple times back when I was Robin and it became a "thing." I really never do it. But, come on, I mean, look at this. We'll need the Bat Hover Boat to follow Deathstroke and his Trogowog accomplice where they're going. Where are we going to get a hovercraft in the middle of, uh, nowhere? Wow. This sort of thing really shouldn't come as a surprise to you by now. Listen carefully. Where we're about to go will test the limits of your mind. What we're about to experience will test the fortitude of your very soul. You will not simply gaze upon the secrets and mysteries that lie beyond these walls. They will gaze into you. There's no dishonor in backing out... - I'm in! - Let's do this! Joker, Joker, Joker. - Where is the Joker? - (CELLPHONE RINGING) Superman's cell phone. Superman speaking, how can I help you? - It's Robin. - Hi, Robin. - Wait. Isn't it your bedtime? - (ROBIN BRUSHING TEETH) (SPITS) Working on it. Have you found the Joker yet? It's not easy. It's so dark and gritty here in Gotham. Metropolis is all clean and white. - It's easier to pick out the criminals. - (JOKER CACKLING MANIACALLY) Bingo! There he is. I'll have him locked up in no time. Be careful, Superman. The Joker is one of Batman's trickiest foes. Yes, I'm sure a non-powered foe can be a challenge for a non-powered hero. Gotta go, bad guy to catch. Oh, Spoony, isn't it wonderful? With Batsy gone, all of Gotham is our own funhouse. There's nothing fun about crime, Joker. (GASPS) Look, Spoony. Batsy decided to leave Little Boy Blue to watch the house while he's away. (MOCK VOICE) This is gonna be fun. Uh, yes, well, the only fun you and your, uh, spoon will be having is back in your cell at Arkham. (NORMAL VOICE) No, you'll never take us back there. Spoony will never allow it. Give up now, Joker. I have superpowers, and all you have is a... - A spoon. - Superpowers? Like what? (MOCK VOICE) Can you grow money from trees? Well, no. Can you make dogs invisible? Spoony, that's not even a real superpower. (NORMAL VOICE) Perhaps a demonstration for Spoony? Well, I can shoot super-hot beams from my eyes with super-accuracy. (MOCK VOICE) Oh, really? Prove it, you big goof. (ALL CACKLING) (SIGHS) - Whoops. - (NORMAL VOICE) Oh, well done, Spoony. - (MOCK VOICE) Thanks, Super-sucker. - (SIGHS) Batman will not be happy about this. All right, Joker, you may have tricked me once or twice. I'm starting to see why the Bat bunch wanted that vacation. How do you like your vacation so far? Beautiful surroundings, a touch of adventure. - Waterfall! - Waterfall? (BATGIRL AND NIGHTWING YELLING) (INHALING DEEPLY) (CONTINUE YELLING) - Come on. - Okay, this thing is bottomless. A bottomless pit is a spatial impossibility. This is just a very, very, very deep hole. (BEEPING) You know, your secrets have gazed into me, enough already. When are you going to tell us what's really going on here? I've not yet deduced the end of this mystery. But the beginning of it began long ago, - when Deathstroke and I were best friends. - BOTH: Huh? It all started when I had just become a student at Madame Mantis' dojo. I remember it so clearly. Our very first class together was Arts and Crafts. Time's up, miserable rookies. Show me your art now. Hmm. Not bad, rich kid. You are a regular Michelangelo in papier-mch. From now on, I'll call you Batface. Show me yours, sourpuss. Ah! Scary. I'm not finished, I only painted half of it. Believe me, it won't help. You'll be the death of me, boy. That's so terrifying, it almost gave me a stroke. From now on, I'll call you Strokedeath. Oh. That sounds weird. How about Deathstroke? - Strokedeath! - Ow! BATMAN: Madame Mantis' preferential treatment of me eventually set the stage for my relationship with Slade. (GROANING) Very good, Batface. You have mastered all the techniques I have given you. There is but one skill left... - The forbidden move. - (GASPS) I would be honored to learn whatever Madame Mantis deems fit. No, I have been here longer. I am the senior student. You have to teach me the technique first. I teach what I teach to those ready to be taught. And you are not ready, Strokedeath. It's Deathstroke and I'm ready for anything. I am Slade Wilson. I am the best at everything I do, and you waste your senile talents on this fool? I don't need you or your stupid forbidden move. I'll become the greatest fighter the world has ever known, and I'll do it on my own. BATMAN: I didn't see Slade again for years. The next time I saw him, he had become Deathstroke, the world's most deadly mercenary. - Okay, wow, you were a kid once? - What about that Trogowog dude? To be continued. (CONTINUE YELLING) (ALL GRUNT) BATMAN: Welcome to the land of the Trogowogs. A secret world protected by Madame Mantis and hidden from the corruptive influence of mankind. (DEATHSTROKE LAUGHING) Welcome, Batman. Don't move, I've got you right where I want you. Huh? - Who's got who? - I've got you. (TROGOWOGS GROWLING) Oh, how I love a surprise party. Wouldn't you agree? Indubitably, they were wonderfully surprised. Good show, Master Deathstroke. (CONTINUE GROWLING) Batman, Batgirl and Nightwing... So nice of you to... If you say, "Nice of you to drop in," you immediately lose all credibility as a supervillain. - That's not what I was going to say. - Oh, what were you going to say? Well, I don't want to tell you now. And as for you, Batface, if you want your junior helpers to survive the next five seconds, you know what to do. Ha! If you think the mighty Dark Knight is about to surrender, - you've got another... - Heh. I stand corrected. (CYBORG WHISTLING) Come to me, my yummy piece of pepperoni. - (COMMUNICATOR RINGING) - (EXCLAIMS) Hey, there... Uh, Cyborg. Wow, Superman, hi. I definitely wasn't eating pizza at the Hall of Justice very special table. - Ah. Good, good. Fantastic. - (HARLEY CACKLING) Superman, is anything... - Wrong? - What? No, no, everything's great. I just thought maybe you might want to uh, hang out a little. - You know, like you kids say. - (CAR ALARM BLARING) (PENGUIN CACKLING) Uh-oh. (BOTH CACKLING) You know what? Maybe a little help around here - wouldn't be completely unwelcome. - Hey, Wonder Woman's here. - You want to ask her? - No! No, no, no. No need to bother her, (CHUCKLES) we got this. No real reason to mention it to anyone in the League, ever. Oh. Okay. Whatever. Happy to help. Just you and me, taking on crime. - We'll be a great team. - Absolutely. Just like Batman and Robin. Fine, see you soon. Very soon. Please hurry. (CHUCKLES GIDDILY) "Just like Batman and Robin." - Ow! - Argh! Quit it, you little cave-monkey-thing. (GASPS) Cave-monkey-thing? - Well, I never. - Dear sir, we are Trogowogs. An ancient species that walked the Earth long before you surface dwellers arrived. (SNORTS) And your brash words have vexed our refined sensibilities. (BOTH GROWLING) What have you done with our sensei, Deathstroke? The old Mantis is fine, Batman. For now. Madame Mantis guarded the secret of the Trogowogs like a pearl inside an oyster, inside a safe, inside a vault, inside a mountain with no door. But somehow you found a way in. Not me, Batman. (LAUGHS SINISTERLY) The mystery is just killing you isn't it? I'm enjoying that. But I'm not the villain who will be monologuing the plot details. You'll meet him soon enough. "Monologuing"? That's not a proper word, is it? Well, I should say not. Surface dwellers seem to have a mania for slang. (SNORTS) (GRUNTING AND SNORTING) - (YELLS) - (GROUP GRUNTING) - (GASPS) - Bane. I think you mean "Lord Bane," Batman. (ROARING) Deathstroke and Bane? Working together? Maybe they met while mask shopping. Welcome to my underground nation. - The newly named Bane-donia. - BATGIRL: Uh... - Bane-landia? - Mmm... - Bane-sylvania. - Blech. - Bane-danistan? - Needs work. Whatever you call it, Bane, your totalitarian occupation of these Trogowogs is destined to fail. Despite your fiendish use of their mind-influencing crystal, the Psyche Stone. You see? I told you. The old Mantis shared all of her secrets with him. Well, I wish would share some secrets with us because I got nothing. I got no idea what's going on here. And cue monologue. - Ooh! I do so love a good story. - Ssh! It's about to begin. - Well, you see... - Bane must be using that Psyche Stone to mentally transform the Trogowogs into assassins infused with his fury and Deathstroke's martial arts skills. - Ah. But that's only part... - Ooh. Of course. He's creating an army to conquer the world, no doubt. And in order to make his army undefeatable he needs them to learn the forbidden move. - But... - So they kidnapped Madame Mantis and tried to extract the forbidden move from her mind using the Psyche Stone. - Yes, and... - But they failed because her will is too strong. So they lured me here to try to pry the secret from my mind. (CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) - Brilliant. - Well played. You know, detectives, you take the fun out of being a villain sometimes. But only sometimes. (BOTH GROWLING) - Good day to you. - And you. (BATMAN GROWLING) - I'll never talk. - You won't have to. It's only a matter of time before the Psyche Stone rips the information we want directly from your mind. Come now, Batman. Share and share alike. - Over my dead body. - That can be arranged. The Psyche Stone energy is deadly, and you've been bathing in it for quite some time. (LAUGHS) Yes, show us. Show us what we want to know. Show us the forbidden move. (GRUNTING) Oh... Oh. Oh, it's a motion picture story. (BOTH SLURPING) Mmm. This is such an exciting day. Watch carefully, Batface. I don't go around showing the forbidden move every day. - Is this going to be on the test? - Yes, the test of life! Observe and marvel at the forbidden move. BOTH: Oh! Here it comes. BOTH: Whoa... Amazing. But I told you, Master, I've vowed never to take a life. This move does not kill. It is worse. It splits the body into pieces, but life remains. - Awesome! - Awesome! - That's horrible. - Duh! I know, that's why it's called the forbidden move. - Then why show me it at all? - Hey, who's the master here? Now, it's very simple, you just form your hand into a C-shape and... No! Oh, I say, it was only just arriving at the good part. - Mmm, how very anticlimactic. - Tut-tut. (SNORTS) Get back in that beam. We must have that secret. No, he's barely surviving now. If the beam destroys him before we have our prize, it is lost to us forever. Come now, Deathstroke, where is your spirit of hospitality? Put him in the Presidential Suite. (GRUMBLING) - (WOMAN SCREAMING) - (SIRENS BLARING) (EXPLOSIONS) (CAR ALARM BLARING) (HARLEY CACKLING) (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) Mmm? Holy garbage truck, Gotham City is filthy with criminals. Holy what? Why are you talking like that? Wait, you don't usually wear a cape, do you, Cyborg? Uh. Yes. Yes, I do. And would you please call me Boy Wonder? Mmm. X-ray vision reveals... I believe we've found the lady criminal called Poison Ivy. Holy horticulture, Bat... I mean Superman. - What do we do now? - Follow my lead. We'll have this plant back in her pot before you can say "evergreen." (LAUGHS GIDDILY) Not bad. I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm afraid your thieving days are over. (GASPS) You wouldn't hit a lady, would you, boys? Why, no. Of course not. - But I mean... - Good. (BOTH GRUNT) This may be more difficult than I thought. - Wonder Woman? - Okay. Call Wonder Woman. (MOUSE SQUEAKS) NIGHTWING: With the light of the underworld coming from bioluminescent plants and strange phosphorescent stones, it's a land of perpetual day, impossible to keep time, yet... We must try. - We've been here for about an hour. - That sounds about right. (MADAME MANTIS GROANING) TROGOWOG: Is someone there? Monstrous humans, stay back! Madame Mantis. - It must be the real one. - She's quite real and quite weak. My cane. My cane. Here it is. Are you all right? Ow! Of course I'm not all right, dumbo. I've been tortured by a magic rock for two weeks. - (WHIMPERING) - But I didn't break. I don't know how she endured it. Mantis is so very strong. I, on the other hand, am so very weak. Oh, you're not so bad, kid. You take good care of Madame Mantis. This is Prince Grungle, rightful ruler of this place. (EXCLAIMS) They're coming. Quickly, we must cower. (GRUNTS) - Batman! - (BOTH GRUNT) - (EXCLAIMS) - (GRUNTS) Stay away from her, you brute. - (GROWLING) - (WHIMPERING) (CHUCKLING) Some prince you turned out to be. Yes, all the backbone of a jellyfish. Lucky for us, Bane showed up when he did. (BOTH LAUGHING) Never tell forbidden move. Oh, I'm sorry, but you will, Batface. Madame Mantis. That stone of theirs is strong. Almost too strong, even for me. Oh, this is all my fault. When Bane arrived here, I was too weak to stop him. - Also a little bit chicken. - Nightwing. Prince Grungle is clearly one of the good guys. A little respect? No, no, he's quite right. I am no real prince. A proper prince would've been brave, put up a fight. But I didn't know how. We Trogowogs have always been a peaceful people. We used the sacred stone to spread friendship and love. Until Bane arrived. He had heard whispers of our existence, rumors of our great wealth. Finally, after a long search, he found us and used the Psych Stone to teach our people to hate. He destroyed my father, the king, while I watched, frozen in fear. Now the Trogowogs are a violent mob and follow a king of hate. Don't be too hard on your people, Grungle. Bane is pretty scary. And everyone is afraid sometimes. Bravery is just fighting for what you know is right even when you're afraid. Bane's corruption of the Trogowogs is a travesty of justice. As you know, Batface, my family befriended Trogowogs centuries ago. We perfected our martial arts to protect and defend them. I don't know how Bane discovered the secret of the Trogowogs. Well, maybe you talked in your sleep? Ow! Batman, we've got to find a way to escape so we can liberate the Trogowogs from Bane's rule. Hello, escape-proof cage, confiscated utility belts. - We're all helpless here. - Not quite. Deathstroke was so focused on getting my utility belt, he overlooked the one thing that can get us out of here. - What? - He missed that? (SNORTS) I say, what is that? This, Prince Grungle, is my Bat-brick separator. Observe. Holy crowbar. That titanic tool could topple a tower. I did it again, didn't I? Focus. Once I break through, we'll have to move quickly to stop Bane. Because if we don't, no force on Earth will be able to stop his Trogowog army. Not even the Justice League. - (GROANING) - (LAUGHING) So kind of you gentlemen to provide dinner on our first date, - especially when you're the main course. - WONDER WOMAN: Mighty Aphrodite. It's a good thing you boys called for backup. (GASPS) Now, tell me what you've done to my friends. My special plant pheromones have intoxicated your friends - and placed them under my control. - (GASPS) (GROANS) And now I have you, too. (BURPS) We overheard Cyborg's pathetic call for your help. We've been waiting for you. Now the real fun begins. JOKER: Ladies and gentlemen, Cyborgs, Supermen and Wonder Women. Welcome to Gotham's preeminent party palace, the Joker Fun House. (CACKLING) (ALL CACKLING) (MOCK VOICE) Fun for us, anyway. (LAUGHING) (NORMAL VOICE) Oh, Spoony, you're so bad. (CACKLING) Whoa. Is that a talking spoon? I've had enough of this nonsense, Joker. I'm not falling for any more tricks. Did somebody say "falling"? (LAUGHING) ALL: Whoa! You two need to work on your emergency stops. (PENGUIN LAUGHING) Out of the water and into the frying pan. Give it up, Penguin. Unlike Batman, bullets have no effect on... Ugh. (SPITS) What is that? A fish? (SPITS) I hate Gotham City. Ugh. Its criminals are so weird. Don't worry, Superman, I've activated my internal nose plugs and deactivated my gag reflex. I'll pluck that foul fish-flinging fowl. Whoa! (LAUGHS) Unlike real penguins, this one can fly. Scarecrow, hit 'em with your fear gas. (BOTH LAUGHING) (ALL COUGHING) ALL: Huh? - Look how high up we are. - No, no, no. I'm suddenly afraid of heights. (ALL YELLING) (LAUGHING) (ALL EXCLAIMING) (LAUGHING) (CACKLING) (ALL SCREAMING) (BOTH CACKLING) (YELLING) - (ALL CACKLING) - (YELLING) (EXCLAIMS) (MOCK VOICE) Ha-ha! Looks like you forgot to buckle up. (NORMAL VOICE) Too bad, because the ride's only just beginning. (CACKLING) (ALL YELLING) (COMMUNICATOR RINGING) - Hello. - Hey, Robin. Starfire and I are about to finish off Giganta here in Metropolis. How about you ditch the cave and join us for our next adventure, Pizza Pandemonium. Sorry, Beast Boy, no can do. What? Because it's a school night? Or is it really because you're a... (IMITATES CLUCKING) Chicken, get it? Because I became a chicken? (BUTTON BEEPS) (JUSTICE LEAGUE WHIMPERING) Save some pizza for me. I have to stay here in Gotham and handle a big problem. (BUTTON BEEPS) Ooh. (SNORTS) The air is just electric today, isn't it? It's as though something exciting will happen at any moment. - Scintillating. - I'm all a-tingle. (BEEPING) The coast is clear. Come quickly. Thank you, old friend. What now? Find our way back up the nearly bottomless pit? Once we climb up a few miles, we should be able to signal the rest of the Justice League for help. Ow! What was that for? A book with no pages is never overdue from the library. Right. What? Madame Mantis is saying that Bane is a bully. And the only way to deal with a bully is to stand up to them. - (ALARM BLARING) - (WHIMPERS) Our decampment from that ghastly Gulag has been discovered. What shall we do? Remember, Grungle, bravery isn't what you feel, it's what you do. (BANE CLEARING THROAT) Batman, hear me. There is no escape for you. The tyrant. He's grown to gargantuan proportions. Flee! Calm yourself, Prince Grungle. Bane's merely using the Psyche Stone to project this image of himself. Turn yourself in and I may spare the lives of your friends. (YELLING) Prince Grungle! Wait, it's nothing. Wrong. It is something. - It is a trap. - (BOTH GASP) - DEATHSTROKE: Well, well, well. - (WHIMPERING) The prince. Or should I say, the former prince, future sushi. Ugh. We've been searching forever. We should forget looking for him and get back to the surface world for reinforcements. Grungle is alone and he's frightened. This whole weird underworld plus our world is doomed if Bane gets his hands on Bats again. Now that's frightening. It's too late. Grungle has certainly been recaptured. - Oh, come on, you can't possibly know... - Batman. I have a friend here who'd like to talk to you. (WHIMPERING) On second thought, he's not much of a talker. More of a whimperer. (CHUCKLES) And he won't even be doing that much longer. I will see you soon. You can't go back for him. You're playing right into his hands. But we can't leave Grungle for dead. You go, I'll try to free Grungle. He can't get the secret from me. No one can crack this old nut. No, there's only one way to stop Bane. How? By giving him the secret of the forbidden move. (GASPS) (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING) (ALL CACKLING) (SIGHS) This Kryptonite bathtub is strangely soothing. Must be those vegetables Poison Ivy added to this soup we're sitting in. Despite our certain demise I just feel so calm right now. I blame the spoon. - Why's that? - It's a soup spoon. (LAUGHING) And very soon now, Spoony, they'll be boiled away into vapors. And we'll be rid of half of the world's most annoying superheroes. (MOCK VOICE) Emphasis on the soup. (LAUGHING IN MOCK AND NORMAL VOICE) (BATMAN GRUNTING) He's breaking. Must fight stone. Dance. Dance! He wants to dance? The mind is like a brain-shaped piata, Deathstroke. As we beat it to shreds, the hard candies of random memory spills on the lawn of destiny. Increase the power. (GROANING) This move does not kill. It is worse. It splits the body into pieces, but life remains. - That's horrible. - Duh! I know. That's why it's called the forbidden move. Then why show me it at all? Hey, who's the master here? Now, it's very simple. You just form your hand into a C-shape and will all your chi into one tiny stud of power. (GRUNTING) Incredible. Now, hurl the stud of power toward the dummy of practice. Finally, I have the forbidden move! (CACKLING) (BOTH LAUGHING) What are we laughing at? I don't know, I think he's just creating a fun work environment. It is done. They now know all. Wonder Woman, Cyborg, it was my pleasure to fight alongside you. - Me, too. - (JET ENGINE BOOMING) Oh, no, it's Batman. He's back. Pull yourself together. It's only the Brat Wonder. That's right. And I wonder how you're going to like me shutting down your hot tub of horror. You butting-in bird boy. Wish I could stay and chat, but I have some friends to save. Out of the pool, Justice League. Adult swim is over. - (ALL EXCLAIMING) - (CRASHING) (GRUNTS) Come on, before they regroup. (GROANING) Right in the funny bone. (GROANS) I just had the strangest dream. There was a hot tub and Wonder Woman. - Wha...? - No time for that now, Cyborg. Up, up and away. Look, the Justice League is running away. - Gotham is ours. - (ALL CACKLING) Poison Ivy's soup made my servos squeak. - Thanks for coming to save us, Robin. - You really are the Boy Wonder. I wouldn't have had to save you if you had listened to me in the first place. Tell me about it. And when Batman gets back, he's going to give me "the look." Because he loaned me a perfectly good city and I broke it. Oh, yes, I know that look. Okay, I'm going to help you clean up this mess. But just because some of our criminals don't have superpowers doesn't mean they're not super-dangerous. You got that right. They're unpredictable, diabolical, dangerous villains. And there's only one way to stop them. What way is that? The Bat-way. One to a customer. Keep the line moving, please. That's it. Let the Psyche Stone fill your little minds with the deadly forbidden move. (CACKLING) Oh! I say, the forbidden move is jolly easy once you know the secret. Yes, yes, move along. Hmm. Where did Deathstroke sneak off to? - (GASPS) - Deathstroke, what do you want? The only thing he's ever wanted. That's right. To prove she's wrong. - To prove I'm better than you. - (GRUNTS) There was no "better." Only those that are ready to learn. And you are not ready, Strokedeath. - It's Deathstroke. - Wait a minute. Batman said you were best friends at school. - Wait, what? - We were also worst enemies. - There were only two of us in the class. - Grr! This is on your head. You preferred him over me. Just because you thought his mask was better than mine. I never got the purple/orange thing. - It is better. - There's really not much to yours. (GROWLING) It is not me who determined your destiny. It was only ever you, Strokedeath. Argh! I told you, it's Deathstroke. No, you picked him over me. And you were wrong. Now that I know the forbidden move, I'll show you who's really the best. That's hardly fair. Batman is zonked out of his ears and you want to fight him? Enough talk. Come, Batman. Fight me. Prove that you were worthy of Madame Mantis' skills. (SIGHS) (BOTH GRUNTING) Give it up, Deathstroke. True victory only comes when you fight for a good cause. I fight for the best cause of all. Myself. Then you have already lost. Gah! I'll show you who's lost. (BOTH GASP) You've done it. You've bested me. With the power of the forbidden move, the world is yours. You'll never be challenged again. Now, finish it, old friend. Hmm. No, I can't do it. It's just too easy. I envy you, Batman, for being everything I'm not. You could have used the forbidden move against me all these years. But you didn't. You're just too darned honorable. You don't deserve to be destroyed by such a despicable technique. - Thank you, Slade. - MADAME MANTIS: It is done. - Uh, she's free? - Wait a minute. You could have gotten out of those ropes anytime you wanted. Your lesson is completed, Strokedeath. You have now earned the knowledge of the forbidden move. I don't understand. I just failed to use the forbidden move. - I don't think I'll ever use it. - That is how I know you are ready for it. All have the potential to be an honorable warrior, but only through an act of honor could it be attained. You... You're right, Madame Mantis. Ow! MADAME MANTIS: Of course. - Madame Mantis is always right. - But it's too late. I've done everything wrong. Bane's army is ready to invade the world above and there is nothing I can do to stop it. BATMAN: Maybe you can't do it alone. But we can do it together, classmate. It would be an honor. - (CHILDREN EXCLAIMING) - (CACKLING) Huh? Ooh! (CHILDREN CHEERING) (CACKLING) Ha-ha! (GRUNTS) Ow! (GRUNTING) - (GROANING) - (HANDCUFFS CLICK) (EXCLAIMING) (GASPS) Ow! (EXCLAIMING) (GRUNTING) (CACKLING) (GORDON GRUNTING) Whoo-hoo! And now, newly appointed Police Commissioner Spoony shall review my suggestions for the new rules of Gotham City. (CLEARS THROAT) Amnesty for all criminals? - (MOCK VOICE) Approved. - (WHOOPING) (NORMAL VOICE) Imprisonment for all superheroes? (MOCK VOICE) Double approved. Hooray! (NORMAL VOICE) Commissioner Spoony, oh, you're the greatest. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) SUPERMAN: Knock, knock. Who's there? Ima. Ima who? (EXCLAIMING) Ima send you right back to Arkham where you belong, Joker. (HARLEY GRUNTING) Oh, knocked out by a knock-knock joke. From the Big Blue Bore Scout. (CHUCKLES) Now that's a laugh. (EXCLAIMS) Where's Spoony? ROBIN: Spoony won't be joining you back in Arkham, Joker. Hope you enjoy eating the Asylum oatmeal with your hands. (GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY) (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Underlings. It is time for us to take our rightful place as the rulers of the surface world. Frankly, it'll be me doing most of the ruling and you doing most of the oppressing. We all have our jobs to do. C'est la vie. Now, go forth and fulfill your destiny. ALL: (CHANTING) Bane! I must say, I'm so excited to get to the surface world. Because of all the conquering? No, frankly, I'm just looking forward to getting a tan. BANE: For countless millennia your family could have ordered a wave of Trogowog might to sweep the armies of the surface world aside. But you did nothing. It took Bane to make something of you. We were a peaceful people until you poisoned us with your vile destructiveness. Peace is like a stale potato chip left out in the rain and stepped on by a group of schoolgirls. You deserve your fate, you cowering dog. Your people marching on my orders will be the final thing you see before I destroy you. NIGHTWING: Well, better that than you, Bane. You're hard to look at even with the mask on. - Who dares? - We dare. Oh! Do you expect me to lose to two tiny heroes? No, we expect you to lose to one medium-sized hero. (BOTH YELLING) (ALL GRUNTING) How rude of me. I should have offered you a chair. No. - (BOTH GROANING) - (BANE CACKLING) Time for a little rodent control. - Oh, we're going into a tunnel. - I do hope no one tries to text me. That's far enough. - Oh, look, our first victims. - For the glory of Bane! (SNORTING AND YELLING) This is going to be harder than we thought. (BEEPING) Maybe not as hard as you think. (RUMBLING) (ENGINE REVVING) What? How? I took the liberty of summoning my Bat-drill with this. It's been digging ever since. I suspected it might come in handy. (ALL EXCLAIMING) (ALL YELLING) That ghastly machine gave me a turn. Destroy it! - These little guys don't give up easily. - Neither do we. Ha! As good as we are, we can't defeat an entire army. Not at this rate. (BOTH GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) (WHIMPERING) Oh, emancipated. But what do I do now? That is for you to decide. What? Unhand her, you cur. Oh, so the little prince has grown a backbone? Allow me to help you with that. (GRUNTING) I destroyed your father and I will destroy you. Then I shall die like a king. (YELLING) I have one more card to play. Okay. I'll just be here if you need me. Trogowogs, listen to me. The criminal Bane has altered your minds to use you for his own evil ends. But you can fight it. Assert your free will. I know you can do it. I know you will choose peace. (MURMURING) Thanks awfully. But I think instead we shall obliterate you completely. - Don't you think we should? - You know I do. (SIGHS) Just to show there's no hard feelings, have you any final words? Just one... Batoosie, Batoosie, Batoosie. ALL: Huh? (ALL LAUGHING AND CHEERING) I didn't see this coming. (BANE GRUNTING) - Oh, thank goodness. - Hey, look at Grungle go. He's so small, Bane can't even touch him. Yes, Prince Grungle has passed his test. If only the other Trogowogs could see him now. Yeah, of course. The Psyche Stone. - Nightwing. - Got it, let's do it. (GRUNTING) - Huh? - Huh? - Huh? - Huh? (CLEARS THROAT) Here, kid. Walk softly and carry a big stick. That is a very small stick and I am a very big man. (BOTH GRUNTING) (EXCLAIMING) No! You're finished, Bane. I may no longer be grande but you will find I am still supreme. (YELLING) (GRUNTING) (GROANING) Uh-oh. I say, Prince Grungle is certainly no slouch in the fisticuffs department. Bane, however folded like a cloth napkin. (ALL LAUGHING) Good show. Encore, encore. DEATHSTROKE: Oh, I see. You knew the Psyche Stone would eventually steal the forbidden move from your mind. So you simply added a mental suggestion to dance. Activated when I said the word "Batoosie." Well played, Batface. MADAME MANTIS: Not bad. Not exactly martial arts, but not bad. My only question, why is Strokedeath not dancing? Madame Mantis, even with your incomplete teaching, I have become the world's greatest mercenary. But there is still one thing Deathstroke cannot and will not do. Dance. What? No wonder you're so bad. Dancing is good for the soul. You come back to my dojo. It is also Madame Mantis' dance academy. (GRUNTING) The forbidden move has been erased. Yep, that's the last of them. Back to their little peace-loving lives in their little secret cave. GRUNGLE: (CLEARING THROAT) Batgirl... A moment? Here comes Prince Charming. I've got to go... Do something... Somewhere... You have my eternal gratitude. You saved both my people and myself. Hey, you saved your kingdom, and from the sound of things, I think your people agree. Batgirl, you're beautiful, you're brave, and what's more, you inspire me to be brave. I want nothing more than to go with you and stay by your side forever. Oh, that is so sweet, Prince Grungle. Um, you are really wonderful, but... Unfortunately, I am now king, and my needs are always secondary to those of my subjects. Alas, here I must remain. As for Bane, he will now reside in our dungeon, forever captive. Not unlike my heart. (CHUCKLES) Oh, stop. (KISSES) Ow. Well, Deathstroke, now that your honor has been restored... Look. Batface, our little class reunion has been just great, but we're still not friends. And when next we meet, it will be as true equals. That went well. He may not be a hero, Nightwing, but Deathstroke once again walks the path of honor. And that may be enough. - (COMPUTER BEEPING) - (ALL GROANING) Outsmarted by an oversized boy scout. I'll never live it down. Never, never, never! SUPERMAN: Well, that's the last of them. Behind the walls of a completely reliable mental health facility. And not a moment too soon. Look. Hi, guys. - Robin, listen... - I know. Don't worry. There's really no reason to let Batman know how... How Superman released all the inmates from Arkham Asylum? The Joker outsmarted Superman with a spoon? How the super-criminals almost succeeded in the wrecking of the city? Yes, yes, that's it exactly. Batman. Welcome home, Dark Knight. Any trouble while I was away? No. Well, I mean, you know, I mean, nothing out of the ordinary. I, uh... (STAMMERING) I cannot tell a lie! Joker outsmarted me with a spoon and tricked me into releasing Arkham's criminals who almost succeeded in wrecking Gotham City. It's true, Gotham's criminals are an entirely new level of weird. They almost turned us into soup. Don't worry, I anticipated every part of that, except the spoon. All that matters now is that the city is safe once again thanks to the four of you. Excellent rescue at Joker's Fun House, Robin. Great job, kid. I set a pretty high standard when I was Robin, but you're taking it to a whole new level. Thanks, Nightwing. Thanks, Batman. But how did you know what happened at Joker's Fun House? Because I'm... Batface. - Uh... - Huh? BATMAN: And so ends another heroic adventure. Justice has been served and our beloved Gotham City is once again safe. Thanks to... (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING) (ALL CHEERING) Ahem! (ALL CHUCKLE SHEEPISHLY) (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) Submaster |
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