1
Fascinating.
A group of Padawans returns from
a field trip to the Outer Rim Territories,
but their real adventure is about to begin.
Check it out!
Look what I can do!
One more visit we have,
my young Padawans,
and most important it is.
A tour of the Galactic Senate.
-But we want excitement!
-But you will have excitement.
The thrill of watching as
a gas mine treaty is negotiated.
Master Yoda, is something wrong?
Leave you, I must.
A grave threat to the Republic, I fear.
Fun have! In your care now
these Padawans are, 3-POC.
-Where are you going? You can't leave us!
-Peace out.
Taking care of younglings
is just not in my programming.
Welcome, Jedi of tomorrow!
We are your tour guides. I am C-3PO,
and this is my counterpart, R2-D2.
Now, I can tell that you are all
most polite and very well behaved.
Now, now.
You should always be respectful to a droid,
especially one like myself,
who does not like to float
or to spin!
Just my destiny again.
Made to serve, made to suffer.
Too much excitement.
-Come along, please.
-Major headache.
Well, I suppose it could be worse.
Hey, this sure beats that orphanage.
Miney... I wonder if that
has jelly in the middle.
Only one way to find out.
Hey, you! What are you doing there?
This is a restricted area.
-A mouse! Where'd it go? Where'd it go?
-Later, man.
-Hey, someone stop that kid!
-Get him!
The Galactic Senate,
also referred to as the Republic...
Cool. All right.
I'll have one of those, one of those.
That should just about do me. All right.
-Hey, hey, where we going?
-Galactic Senate.
-Where did that kid go?
-Awesome.
This is your fault.
I have stolen
the Republic's secret battle plans,
and the bomb is almost in place.
You have done well, Asajj Ventress.
When the device detonates,
that is the signal for the fleet to attack.
Yes, Master.
And then total victory will be ours!
What's he doing here?
Cut!
Darth, you're not in this scene.
Darth, look at me.
-I'm not?
-Nope.
See that? No, do you see your...
Right. Exactly.
Right. Good, good.
Darth, do you want a donut?
Somebody get Darth a donut.
-Darlings, l can't work like this.
-Anyhoo...
Very soon now, the Chancellor will arrive
to begin the session.
Isn't it thrilling?
I said, "Isn't it thrilling?"
His Excellency, Chancellor Palpatine.
That's not the Chancellor, it's a Sith Lord!
Oops, sorry. Hold on.
Senator Yaun of Bureaucratosis,
you have the floor.
Yes! What glorious loquacity.
Wait, I don't remember you
from the Jedi Temple.
Yes, you do.
Jedi mind tricks don't work on Jedis.
-I knew that.
-Hey, did you see that kid?
Where'd that kid go?
Time to be inconspicuous.
Hey, watch it!
Ian, kindly stop that at once.
-Just give me a minute.
-Who's Ian?
Keep your metal pants on, I'll fix it.
Oh, my!
Delegates, such behavior
is simply not protocol.
-Oh, my.
-Marvelous.
A disturbance I feel in the Force.
Mistaken I hope my feelings are.
Tired of being right all the time, I am.
Great.
Give it your best shot.
Surrender, Jedi.
-Negotiate that!
-Bring it on!
Watch meesa ears! Watch out, watch out!
Meesa one lucky Gungan!
Meesa hit!
Poor Jar Jar. Oh, well.
Padawans, please follow me
out of here immediately,
and don't panic!
My stars! To the bus, and no delay!
Totally awesome!
Man, that was close.
Take that disk to the staging base.
Use my ship at the left docking bay.
Roger, roger.
-Your other left.
-Roger, roger.
Get me out of here.
Secret battle plans, that droid has.
I'm on it, bro.
Oh, my gosh. I'm gonna pass out.
Excuse me, sorry.
But where is the driver?
Wait, come back.
I can't fly this thing.
I'm a protocol droid, not a pilot!
Artoo, stop that!
The chances of surviving this flight
are approximately 650 million to one.
Must get plans to staging base.
-Follow him, we must.
-I'm all over it, like green on beans.
That wasn't so hard.
I do believe I could get the hang
of this pilot thing.
Oh, dear.
I suppose I had better exchange
insurance information with him.
Or not. Artoo, get us out of here!
-That is so cool!
-No, not cool.
Now kindly take your seats.
There's nothing to see here. Nothing.
Holy spaceships!
Anakin Skywalker.
-Hey, kids.
-Hello, children.
Awesome!
-I'm watching you, baby.
-When ready, fire.
-Hey, how's it going?
-What?
General Kenobi, preparing to make
the jump to light speed in three, two...
Quickly, children.
Fasten your lap restraints!
Make the jump to light speed,
about to, it is. Track it, we must.
Bingo! Locked on, bro.
Let's do that again.
We are not going again.
We are going straight back to...
I'm going to be sick.
Didn't know I could be sick.
Look out!
Hey.
Must get to staging base.
To recover the battle plans,
track that droid through the snow,
we must.
-I have a bad feeling about this.
-I was gonna say that.
-Well, I said it first.
-I thought it first.
Matters not first said who it!
Sorry. One of those days, it has been.
Tracked the battle droid to Hoth, I have.
Pursue him, l will.
You must not fail, Master Yoda.
Fail, l shall not. Never give up, will l...
-This show's boring. What else is on?
-Touch that button, do not.
Up next, Keeping up with the Calrissians.
...it dices. Finally the power of the Jedi
is in your hands.
-That was fantastic!
-That was rubbish.
Jedi Master, out.
Alone, leave me. No time for stowaways,
have I. A ruffian, you are.
At least know how to talk normal, I do.
Yeah, now you're talking.
Find the battle droid, Cody and I will.
-But... But...
-Stay here, you will. Speak to me no more.
-But...
-No more!
I can see my house from here!
I tried to tell you, Yoyo.
This is so not on the itinerary.
Well, this is a minor setback.
But don't be afraid. I'm not afraid.
I'm not at all afraid.
Because I am in charge.
Not now, Artoo.
And I shall find a way.
-I said, not now.
-Utinni!
Look at our ship!
R2-D2, how could you let this happen?
Build another ship?
How exactly do you suggest we do that?
But this is just pictures.
Where are the words?
I may be fluent in over six million forms
of communication, but this is impossible.
I'm afraid we're stranded.
Hey, come on. Hey, aren't you cold
wearing just that cloak?
You got any underwear on under there?
Do to deserve this, what did I?
You know your ears are like
super hairy, right?
Get worse, how can this?
So, Master Yoda, we meet again.
Oh, for the... Darth! Darth!
Darth, would you come here for a second?
Hi. You're not in this scene either.
But imagine the audience's surprise
when my lightsaber comes right off
the screen
-and into their faces.
-This one isn't in 3-D.
Right into their faces.
-You know what I mean?
-Get off my set.
Sorry, George.
We're bound to find someone here
who will take you home.
Follow me and stick together.
And pay attention at all times...
Look, a podracer.
Hello?
Road hog!
This is the best field trip I've ever been on.
You younglings wait out here
while Artoo and I find a pilot
to fly us out of here.
And don't touch anything.
You must have something you can
amuse yourselves with for a few moments?
That is not quite what I meant.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother.
Come along, Artoo.
What are you talking about?
Hey! We don't serve their kind here.
-What?
-Your droids.
They'll have to wait outside.
I remember. Most insensitive.
But what do we do now?
I was just going to suggest that.
Well, I was.
Good heavens, a droid!
Get out, you mechanical monstrosity.
Us non-droids don't want you here.
Thanks, fellow non-droid.
You can call me...
...Seeth Bemos, Oipel of Ekul.
And I want a ride off this pile of...
-Thanks, matey.
-No problem.
My hair!
You, you're late. Get in here.
-Sure, why not?
-Okay.
To keep warm, stick our heads
in this animal's guts, will we.
Gross. And I thought they smelled bad
on the outside.
Your head, his guts. Do.
This one's taken.
What the...
"Secret battle plans." That was easy.
Great is the power of the Force.
It allows me to feel what cannot be seen,
see what is yet to be,
and hear what cannot be heard...
My big mouth and me.
My ship is at docking bay 49.
I'll take your party to Coruscant.
Wonderful. I shall inform the younglings.
Oh, my goodness!
Check me out. Yeah, baby.
Hi, Mr. Three-Pee.
Great Bantha Breath, what are you doing?
That's a droid. We don't serve your kind.
Oh, my. We'll just be on our way.
Oh, my.
I'm terribly sorry, Master Jabba.
Allow me to remove the debris
from your bigness.
NO-ONE INSULTS JABBA THE HUTT!
YOU AND YOUR METAL FRIEND WILL PAY TODAY
Oh, my. This doesn't look good at all.
Impressed I am with your courage,
young one.
Very brave are...
Hold on, Nelly!
Hop on!
Do that, how did you?
I know a thing or two about wiring.
Oh, man. The ship is broken.
What do we do?
To the ship.
Reach the pedals, my legs cannot.
My legs reach just fine.
How hard can this be?
Today, two droids will pay
for insulting the mighty Jabba,
by fighting each other to the death.
To be accurate, droids can't actually die.
Melted down, deactivated perhaps,
but not...
No, I couldn't fight my best friend.
Youve just been waiting for
the chance to do this, haven't you?
Artoo, Artoo, don't you dare...
A good pilot you are.
Sorry for how I treated you, I am.
-Respect you now, I do.
-I know.
Say the same to me, you could.
You're all right, I guess.
For a little green dinosaur.
Master Yoda, the younglings
are on Tatooine.
They are in danger.
Jabba the Hutt is holding them hostage.
He has them captive. You must hurry.
Oh, my gosh.
Then rescue them, we will.
All right!
Stop, stop, stop! That hurt.
I'm so sorry. I've doomed us all.
I am a failure.
Don't say that, Threepio.
You're not a failure.
-I'm not?
-You kept us safe today.
You're very brave.
I am very brave.
You are a great hero
and will lead us to victory.
I will lead us to victory.
You will break those pillars
with your weapon.
I will...
Right.
Excellent!
Say hello to my metal friend.
No, no, no!
Help! Help me! Help!
Oh, my goodness. I am a hero.
That is awesome!
-My hair!
-That's the coolest thing I've ever seen!
I am a hero.
I only wish Master Yoda could see me now.
See you, I could,
if sitting on me, you were not.
Frightfully sorry, sir.
Awesome!
Much heroism in your future have you,
young Ian.
But my name's not Ian.
I'm Han. Han Solo.
A pleasure to meet you, Master Solo.
Yeah, whatever, Goldiepants.
Really, I'm glad
we'll never see him again, Artoo.
Thank you, thank you.
-How's it going?
-Impressive!
It's just what I do, just what I do.
I can't even say it, it's so awesome.
Darth, there are other people
that fit the suit,
-you know what I'm saying?
-No, right, sorry.
It's a wrap!
Rip By Senseman