God! l love this job! Man!
Can't you go any faster?
Floor this thing!
lt's my wife's. l won't go faster.
You're doing 65 now.
Get your foot off the pedal!
You're killing my corn!
We're eastbound on 4th, in pursuit of
a red BMW, driver Caucasian, blonde.
Plate 2-Boy-Adam-Henry-174.
You are westbound on 2nd.
You're heading straight
toward each other.
-Somebody back off.
-Got it.
-What'd she say?
-We're about to have an accident.
Go! We'll stick with the red bastard.
You chase the blue.
That's confirmed.
You got red, we'll get blue.
-What's the pursuit?
-20 William 15 and 20 William 12.
-That's Riggs, Murtaugh.
-And their squad.
-$20 on Riggs and Murtaugh.
-Who's driving?
Murtaugh, in his wife's wagon.
l knew nothing about the wagon.
Bet's off.
Shut up!
What the hell is that?
What fuckin' language is that?
lt's German.
Japanese?
lt's a Japanese radio.
Maybe they bought the L.A.P.D.
They own everything.
Shotgun!
Shots are being fired.
Thanks for the scoop.
The bastard shot my wife's windshield.
Entering the pursuit.
Oh, shit, man! We're splitting up!
Son-of-a-bitch! Now we're cooking.
Step on it!
Look out!
See you!
l'd like to see your license
and proof of insurance!
We got one. Yours is going up the hill.
So is Riggs, on foot!
Hey, Riggs! Get your slow ass in here!
Get in here, now!
Only if l drive.
Move over. l'll drive.
No, go around. l'm driving.
l'll drive.
Did you get a make on that red Beemer?
Not one scratch, you hear?
-You won't make it.
-l will.
There's not enough room!
You're not going to make it!
Look at my side panel!
Goddamn it, you were right.
There wasn't enough room.
He's turning right!
Get out of the way!
This was a new car, Riggs.
Well, it still is.
On three.
One...
...two...three!
Shit!
You forgot to turn your indicator on.
Where the hell is he?
This guy's Mandrake!
Where were you, man?!
Goddamnit!
Me?! Where did he go?!
-He's fucking gone!
-l can see that!
-You're supposed to come on ''three''.
-l thought you meant, ''three'' then go!
No! We always go on ''three''!
Sometimes we go, ''one, two, three,''
then go!
Go check back there!
lf you see anybody running out,
just pump the shit out of them.
What was that?
-He crawled into the trunk.
-l got you covered.
Holy Christ!
That's a lot of money.
lt's gold!
Gold!
Krugerrands.
lt's illegal. You can't import them
into the country.
You're right.
The damage you caused is coming
out of the department's budget.
-Pay it in Krugerrands.
-Don't make jokes, make arrests.
l want an explanation.
-Things got out of hand.
-You said this was a routine bust.
You didn't mention helicopters,
automatic weapons, Krugerrands...
This was bigger than we thought.
Talk to you later.
l worked psycho ward.
You'll never get out.
One minute, fifteen seconds.
Shapiro, scratch my nose.
Hey! What's going on? ls this
kindergarten or a police station?
Get some work done.
Houdini Jr. bets he can free himself
in 5 minutes.
l will too.
Don't try this at home, kids.
lt's over now. Put your money
on the desk and get back to work.
Suckers.
How the hell did you do that?
l dislocated my shoulder once.
Now l can do it whenever l want.
Doesn't it hurt?
Yeah, it does.
But not as much as...
when l put it back in.
lf it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.
My door is always open, Sergeant.
We should keep this
on a professional level.
Why the hell do you
do this to yourself?
Who else could l do it to?
None of them will let me.
And l need the money.
Cough up!
lt's not all here yet. l want it all.
Where did this come from?
You can't help yourself to this stuff!
lt's evidence. lt's a Krugerrand.
-lt's mine. l won it.
-lt's not yours.
You want to get busted?
Want to get something to eat?
Not tonight.
-Rianne's commercial is on.
-She's in a commercial?
Not so loud!
What's wrong?
l'd be proud if l was you.
l haven't seen it yet.
What if she stinks?
You got to be kidding. She'll be great.
Listen up!
Tonight at...what time?
Come on!
What time?
Eight.
Eight o'clock, on...channel?
Eight. The Sergeant's daughter, Rianne.
Here's a picture of her.
She's going to make
her television debut in a commercial .
With this crowd, baby,
you'd better not stink.
What happened? This is a new car.
Mom's going to be upset!
-lt's still new.
-No, it's not, it's wrecked.
l don't want your mother to know.
Do your homework too.
-Hey! l haven' t read these.
-Rianne put them there.
Why don't you look out for me?
Hey, Ricky! l want to use my driveway
once in a while.
Nice oxygen tent.
-Do l look like Michael Jackson?
-No, but you're bad.
This is a two-car garage,
and this is my hobby room upstairs.
l retire when l'm 52, the whole
nine yards kick in when l'm 55.
You're not retiring, are you?
-l've thought of it, since l met you.
-Thank you.
This is a nice hobby room.
All you need now is a hobby.
Jesus!
What's wrong with you?
l'm sorry. That's very uncool.
You're sorry? Check my shorts!
-Don't you use hammers anymore?
-What's a hammer?
Easy. lt's no Saturday Night Special,
for crying out loud.
Give it back.
A man's not even safe in his own home.
Then stay the hell out of here.
You got any traffic warrants?
Can you fix them?
Almost time. Are we taping this?
Yes, so we can watch it
over and over again.
Take the stairs.
Nick, get your feet off the table.
You too, Martin.
-The color's no good.
-lt's fine. You'll mess it up.
l want you to look good.
Unplug it.
That's your sister!
Picture's perfect.
Yeah?
Do l know you?
Yes, sir.
We had a long talk about a week ago.
About what?
Your new hobby room.
This is George.
Did you sense that l liked you?
Yes, sir.
Sit down and be quiet.
-What are you eating?
-My tuna fish sandwich.
Tuna?
You can't eat tuna!
Dad killed Flipper.
We're boycotting tuna...
...because they kill the dolphins
that get caught in the nets.
Have ham.
Eat Miss Piggy.
-l'm sorry!
-lt's only my eye.
Oh, my God! lt's coming on!
My baby!
Don't she look gorgeous, Martin?
When the time has come...
...and the moment is right...
...remember...
...use Ramses' Extra condoms.
-We do!
-Ramses' Extra.
Because caring means
all the protection you can get.
Take the kids upstairs.
We learn this in Human Development.
ln Human what?!
Human Development what?!
Chill out, Daddy.
Upstairs!
Nick, upstairs.
You know how your father is.
-l looked fat.
-l liked you.
Home. Out!
l got a gun.
What? She looked beautiful.
l liked it. She made me want to buy
rubbers right now.
l thought it was great.
Rianne, that was....
-l thought you were terrific.
-Really?
l think she's got a hell of a future.
George is afraid. He's going home.
Stick around.
He has a gun.
lt's an old gun
and he's not a very good shot.
That's good. l'm going anyway.
Good night.
-l'll buy you a beer.
-You let him buy it.
You're under 21 . Be back by midnight.
Wait and see. Cops never let up.
l'll have rubbers on my desk,
rubbers in the mail, in the coffee....
lf you'd only kept your mouth shut!
l'm going for a walk.
Give the boys some credit.
ln one ear, out the rubber.
How goes it with you, Hans?
Okay. You, Pieter?
That's quite enough of that.
Come on over here, Hans.
Mind the plastic.
l'm having painting done.
The important thing is...
...are you okay?
No bones broken?
l'm fine, thanks.
Just bumps and bruises, eh?
Yeah, that's all.
Good, good.
However, we lost over $1 million
in Krugerrand.
l know. l'm sorry, Mr. Rudd.
lt happens.
lt's not your fault.
Sometimes things do not go as planned.
As you say, they just happen,
Eh, Pieter?
You give a whole new meaning
to the word, ''drop cloth.''
Certain policemen have become
an intolerable nuisance.
They are obviously on to us again.
How do you propose to handle it?
Warn them off.
lt's my experience...
...that a scared cop
is more useful than a dead one.
A warning?
ls that not a bit tame?
Depends on how you do it.
Then you better look at this.
This is the policeman in charge.
A Kaffir.
Lovely.
Remember to take these in order.
There's a packet
for each day of the week.
This yours?
l found it in the wash.
l keep losing this.
Something's wrong.
No, not really.
lt's just a goddamn pen.
What about the pen?
lt reminds me of something.
Of what?
lt reminds me of...
...the night Vicki was killed.
l didn't mean to push.
That's okay.
We never really talked about this.
l was to meet her for dinner.
One of those romantic dinners for two.
l had so much work.
And l forgot about it.
She waited at the restaurant
for an hour before she drove home.
lt was midnight when l got home
to a ringing phone. l answered it.
They said she was killed in a car crash.
lf l'd been driving,
we'd have been all right.
l remember falling down
on my knees and shaking all over.
l remember thinking, ''l'm losing it.''
There l was lying on the floor...
...and l'm seeing under the couch,
and l see this gold pen.
Just lying there. l'd been looking
for it for two months. There it is.
She wasn't a great housekeeper.
This voice goes off in my head,
like a drill instructor.
lt said, ''Get up! Now!''
l didn't feel like it, but l got up.
Muscles were still working.
Then l drove to the hospital...
...identified her, signed her out
with my gold pen.
Trish found a gold pen in the laundry.
Look around you, Sam.
One day, Sam...
...this'll all be yours.
Find a nice bitch,
raise a couple of pups.
A man could be happy here.
Anybody tell you if you sit on
cold rocks too long, you get piles?
Let's go watch TV.
Kaffirs!
Wondering about your kids?
About what we've done to them?
lf l was you, l'd be going nuts now.
l'd be going fucking bananas.
Want to know what we've done?
Shall l tell you?
Just let your imagination run wild.
This has just been a warning.
After this, it gets bloody.
Tell your people to back off.
Don't be a smart Kaffir.
Maybe we let you live, huh?
-You didn't see a face?
-Not one. They had on hoods.
What about a voice?
That crazy motherfucker who did talk
had a strange accent.
Not German, not English.
Kind of guttural. Really shitty accent.
Wait. Anything like what we chased
the other night?
Yeah, kind of like that.
Trish and the kids?
They're at her sister's house
in Bellflower.
Listen up! You heard what happened
to Rog last night?
Forensics get back with anything?
Not yet. They'll keep us posted.
We got to watch each other's
backs and fronts.
You can all watch my back
in poker tomorrow. You in?
-lf we catch these assholes.
-Count me in.
l got something special for you.
Leo Getz has been placed
in protective custody.
You guys are going to baby-sit
until Washington sends the Feds.
-How long?
-Until the red tape is processed.
Couple, three days.
Getz is going to testify
before a commission of inquiry.
Drugs, laundered money, etc.
l'll be there in 10 minutes.
This is not a shit assignment.
-Yes, it is.
-No, it isn't.
lt isn't.
lt is.
Shut up, both of you.
l've guaranteed his safety.
Why us?
You two are the most qualified. And...
...after last night,
you could use the break.
l can handle last night.
What do we do with him?
Take him to Disneyland.
This stinks. This stinks.
l don't give a fuck! l don't have an
ulcer because l know when to say that.
Here's where he's staying.
A nice hotel. The Justice Department
is paying. Enjoy yourselves.
One more thing.
Know what that says?
Yeah. Same thing as that,
but l don't give a fuck.
You're lucky.
l have to live with that.
What room is that for?
This is it. 612.
Police.
How do l know that?
After l shoot you, you can
examine the bullet. Open up.
Don't you want to see a badge?
-Where's your badge?
-Shut up.
l get it. Bad cop, good cop.
Shut up.
Bad cop, bad cop.
l know the routines.
-Are you Leo Getz?
-That's me, Leo Getz.
Whatever you need, Leo gets. Get it?
l use that to break the ice
when l meet people.
l'm Sgt. Murtaugh, this is Sgt. Riggs.
Nice to meet you.
So what do l call you guys?
Sgt. Murtaugh and Sgt. Riggs.
We're going to be your shadow.
That's fine. Hey, an old-fashioned--
Okay. l just ain't seen one
in a long time.
l didn't think anyone used them anymore.
l bet the kid's got an automatic.
Have you?
Yep, a Beretta.
You sure you guys are cops?
Better watch how you treat me.
l'm a state witness.
Star witness.
We'll take that room.
l already have my stuff in this room.
lt's yours, okay?
l'll move it in the small room.
l'm the smallest guy here.
l'll take the small room.
Hey, loosen up, guys!
We're going to be together a long time.
l'll get it.
lt's only room service.
You hungry? l'll call
for anything you want.
See this silk robe? Free.
-lt's not free.
-Yes, it is.
-lt's taxpayers' money.
-Same thing.
Morning, gentlemen.
That's my food. You guys
didn't want anything. Bring it here.
lt's mine.
You could have had something.
l ordered eggs, not hamburger.
Not the window!
Shit!
Where is that son-of-a-bitch?
Somebody stop that guy! Stop him!
Don't leave me! l can't swim!
We're near the edge of the pool.
Now get the fuck off my back!
Clear! Get back! Police!
You okay?
Where were you?
Why didn't you follow me?
-Yeah, why didn't you?
-l was 7 floors up!
-He hit me.
-Good!
This guy took a big chance to pop all of
us. What'd you witness, a murder?
Nothing like that. Honest.
All l did was launder a half a billion
dollars in drug money.
Half a billion dollars?!
More or less.
Who can count that much money?
Could l have some cotton balls
for my nose?
Could you shut the fuck up?
You're supposed to take care of me.
Shut up!
Mr. Getz got away.
Our best opportunity and he gets away.
He slips through our fingers
and into the hands of the police.
What are you doing?
Checking to see
if l was standing on plastic.
Okay, l got it.
l'm who l am. You're a drug dealer.
l work in a bank.
You have money to launder.
What do you do?
Bring it to you.
-He does.
-l don't understand. Why me?
Who am l?
You're a courier. You work for him.
l'm the drug dealer.
Don't you have plates? What is this?
l deposit the cash into the account
of a dummy finance company.
l issue you a cashier's check...
...in his name,
minus a small commission for myself.
-The other end.
-You like breathing?
How much?
Not bad, Leo. Pretty prosperous.
You return it to me as collateral
on a loan l make to you.
But you don't pay back the loan.
You keep the money.
How's that work?
That's it! Don't you get it?
lt's your money. You don't pay it back.
And it's clean.
lt is now laundered.
You cops aren't too bright.
This is the best part.
You take a tax deduction...
...on interest payments
you don't even make.
-Am l a genius?
-You're a swindler.
Cheat.
Come on!
Everyone cheats. Look at the Pentagon.
So you got it?
So how come you turned yourself in,
Mr. Big Shot?
l was scamming those guys for months.
Every transaction, l kept a little.
You?
lt was easy. Cash deposits...
...millions of dollars in small bills
changing hands.
Who's going to miss $10,000 here,
$20,000 there?
Drug dealers.
That's right. They did.
That's why l'm living
out of a suitcase now.
You can give that to Nick.
But it's softer.
l put a fabric softener in there.
lt's small, Leroy.
lt's Leo, not Leroy.
l'll buy you another shirt.
Just give me the names
of those drug dealers.
l don't know any.
l just dealt with the couriers.
Where does Trish keep my laundry?
Behind the machine.
You never met anyone except couriers?
No names.
Wait a minute, come to think of it!
Okay, listen.
They took me up in the hills
to a house on stilts.
And l had a job interview with a guy...
...and his name was...
Haynes! Hans!
-Take us there.
-We have to sit on this guy.
lt won't hurt to look.
l know the address.
Let's go.
We shouldn't do this!
Come on, don't be a killjoy!
We're back! You're black, l'm mad.
This is going to be great!
lf we're going, shouldn't l have a gun?
ls my nose still bleeding?
lt's really sore.
Sorry about that.
lt should be coming up soon.
-9856.
-That's it.
-That's another possibility.
-This is the ninth possibility, Leo.
That's it. Nine.
My lucky number. Nine.
Stay in the car.
-Can't l come?
-Stay.
Nice car.
-What are you doing?
-Hooking it up.
You're not being careful!
l know what l'm doing. lt's a car...
...not a baby carriage.
You're chipping the paint.
-You smell what l smell ?
-l smell it.
A rat?
A real stinky one.
Where you going?
l'm a peeping Tom. lt goes
with the badge. lt's fun sometimes.
Bingo!
Lars, look!
What the fuck?!
Where's the pool?
No pool.
-Of course there is.
-This house is built on stilts.
l'm sure there's a pool.
Cuff yourselves.
Move that truck!
Your keys!
You all right?
Where you going?
That was the waiter from the hotel.
Wait for me!
Get the fuck out of here!
What are you doing?!
You can't take my truck!
Sergeant, it's the guy from the hotel!
Where did he go?
Riggs is hanging on the truck!
What are you doing out of the car?
Get in the car!
Get back! lt's police business!
lt's a high-speed chase!
Get out of the way!
l love it! We got to catch him!
Hello, asshole.
Give me that!
There they are! Hurry up!
Can't you go faster?!
Will you shut the fuck up?
Wipe out. lt's under control.
l told you to look out!
-You're too old for this.
-Shut up! Yak-yak-yak.
And stay!
What do you think l am, a dog?
Hands behind your neck!
What are you guys doing here?
We got a lot to talk about.
What is going on?
Freeze!
Get down here!
Come on, it's been a bad day.
Show me your hands.
Take it easy, officer. l'm not armed.
l won't resist.
Put down your guns, gentlemen.
lt's all right. Do as l say!
Hands on your head.
Behind your head!
You have no idea what you're doing.
We're professional police officers.
We do this for a living.
My name is Arjen Rudd.
l'm Minister of Diplomatic Affairs
for the South African consulate.
South Africa. Home of the Krugerrand.
Among other things.
These men also work for the consulate.
We have diplomatic credentials--
Keep your hands out of there.
Everybody, take it easy.
Especially you, Riggs.
Riggs?
You're Martin Riggs?
From Chicago. What's your name?
What's his name?
Pieter Von-- Vor--
l'll just call you Adolf.
Are you Arjen Rudd? Aryan....?
That's you.
lt's official.
They are official.
Under the Diplomatic Relations Act...
...no diplomatic agent
may be detained or arrested...
...once his identity
has been established.
We have a serious
diplomatic situation here...
...which l will take up
with your State Department tomorrow.
l'm quaking in my boots,
but l'll still bring you down.
My dear officer...
...you could not even give me
a parking ticket.
Who is the dickhead now, huh?
The South African government owns
this house. This is South African soil.
Now get out of here.
All of you.
Don't do it.
Don't do it or l'll make you
eat this fucking thing.
Kaffir.
Could you step out of the car, please?
Put them away. l'm sorry.
Sorry. Are you okay?
Don't open that.
That is a diplomatic pouch...
...protected under Article 27
of the Vienna Convention.
ls he serious with this stuff?
These are police officers, Miss
Van den Haas. They were just leaving.
She is a consulate secretary.
Give her back the briefcase.
Give it to her.
l'm sorry, Miss Consulate Secretary.
Don't talk to them! Come here.
He's a nice guy.
What's he paying you an hour?
Want to increase your pay?
Better hours?
l'd start getting used
to that sort of view.
lt's the Triangle Trade again.
Don't you know American history?
Molasses to rum to slaves.
Now drugs to dollars to Krugerrands.
l got a dead guy with a surfboard
where his face used to be...
...and the State Department
breathing down our throats.
l'll have to make a formal apology
to the South African consulate.
Apologize? He's a sack of shit!
He's a crook.
lt doesn't matter. He's a diplomat.
He has immunity. We can't touch him,
arrest him, prosecute him.
-Does that spell it out for you?
-Yes, sir.
-Who the hell is this guy?
-Leo Getz. Nice to meet you.
You took a civilian on a bust.
One you're supposed to be protecting!
He's alive, isn't he?
l signed a waiver.
Besides, l usually wait in the car.
Usually?
They're very adamant about that.
-l don't give a fuck.
-They're good cops!
They're the best.
One time, a guy was waiving a gun--!
What did he say?
What did he say?
-''l don't give a fuck.''
-What's that mean?
lt's his mantra. Why is everyone
parked on my desk? Up!
lt's a rubber plant!
lt looks to be about a week's supply.
Go spit.
l forgot. You're too old for that shit.
lf you don't like it,
you can exchange it.
One moment, Miss Van den Haas.
l hope you understood
what happened here today.
l'd rather not jump
to any wrong conclusions.
Why don't you explain it to me?
The policies of our government
are not popular here in America.
The police department here
is overrun with blacks.
They have badges and guns
and they hate us.
Our consulate, its staff...
...and particularly myself will always
be targets for their harassment.
Things are getting out of hand.
There are too many losses. We'll
move the cash in one large shipment.
We'll need more than a suitcase.
l'll worry about that.
You worry about the police.
Your warning did not work.
-Let's go, Leo!
-l'm coming.
Come on! Move!
Okay! Hey, they're cops, okay?
l've got to eat, too.
Give me the food.
Who ordered the super combo?
l get a steak sandwich.
Who gets Leo?
You got a big empty house. l got
a trailer. What will l do with him?
My place is too small. You take him.
l had him last night.
Excuse me, fellows.
This is tuna. l hate tuna.
l refuse to get stuck with tuna.
-Don't eat the tuna.
-l just said that!
l'm not eating tuna. Let's go back.
We're not going back! Shut up!
Sure, don't go back.
Okay, don't go back!
Let me give you
a friendly piece of advice.
Never go through the drive-through.
Always walk up to the counter.
Let me tell you why.
They fuck you at the drive-through!
They know you'll be miles away
before you find out you got fucked.
You won't turn around and come back.
So who gets fucked? Leo Getz.
l'm not eating this tuna!
Shut up! !
Get rid of that man.
You're going to have
to leave the premises right now.
The morning faxes.
What's the matter?
He kick you out of the house?
l want you to bite Leo for me.
What are you doing?
l'm cleaning up this pigsty.
l like this pigsty.
When did you last do the refrigerator?
Or the pan under it?
There's a pan under there?
Where's my phone?
Where's my TV? What have you done?
Everything is outside.
Just stop what you're doing.
-Get the dog out of here!
-You go before the mutt.
Out, out! Oh, man.
lt's Collins.
Has Murtaugh checked in with you?
No. Why?
l haven't heard from him.
He doesn't answer his phone.
l'll be right there.
Stay in the car.
l'm upstairs!
Should l call 999, officer in distress?
l'll cover the back!
-Where are you?
-l'm up here.
ln here.
Good morning.
First time in 20 years...
...l get the bathroom to myself.
No kids banging on the door.
No wife asking me to hurry up.
Just me and my new
Saltwater Sportsman magazine!
The one with the article
on deep-sea fishing?
So l'm reading about marlin
fishing in the Gulf of Mexico...
...when l glanced over.
Oh, Jesus.
ls that all?
You scared the shit out of me.
Scared the shit out of you?
How long you been here?
l've been here all night.
My legs are so numb
l don't know if l can--
Don't move.
l can't.
Just stay that way. Do you mind?
lt's a dirty job,
but someone's got to do it.
Tell me l'm not fucked.
He's fucked.
Okay, but l'd be lying.
You'll be okay if you don't stand up.
That's a relief.
-l have to get help.
-No way!
Why?
l'm on the toilet. Give me a break.
This is serious.
l got to get the bomb squad here.
Bomb squad?
Okay, call them in.
Don't use the open frequency.
Let's try to keep this quiet, okay?
Sure. Trust me.
An escort is really not necessary.
l know you're a psychiatrist,
but it's not a pretty sight.
l have helped policemen
through very traumatic moments.
There is nothing in this room
that l cannot handle.
l was wrong.
Excuse me.
l should've known,
where there's one, there's the other.
You're a psychiatrist?
l have these dreams.
lt's ready to come out.
l got to live in this house!
Clear this room.
Come on, Riggs.
You, too, Riggs.
No.
Riggs, out.
All right.
Dive into the tub.
Then pull the bomb blanket
over your head.
This cast iron tub
will withstand a hell of a blast.
l can't.
He can't.
He's been on there for 18 hours.
He can't even walk.
l'm gonna have to help him.
All right, you better wear this.
The nitrogen?
Almost there.
He's spraying this thing
with liquid nitrogen...
...to give you 1 or 2 seconds
before detonation.
-Got that?
-2 seconds. Thanks a lot.
Lights out.
Get him up and out.
Good luck.
You got a piece?
-Yeah, a Smith and Wesson.
-Try this one.
Safety's on. l'll collect it later.
Good luck.
Alone at last.
Why didn't they plant the bomb
in Trish's stove?
All the needless suffering
could have ended there.
l'm going to die on a toilet.
Guys like you don't die on toilets.
And l'm here
and l don't plan on going now.
Let's do it.
On three.
Wait, let me get into the tub.
l'm just going to give you--
On three, huh? What do you say?
One...
...two--
Wait.
Do we do it on three, or...
...one, two, three...
-...then do it?
-lt's your ass. lt's up to you.
My ass, yeah.
Three.
We go on three?
One, two and then three!
One....
Martin?
l know.
l mean it, man.
l hear you.
We're not going to die, all right?
On three.
Get off me. l don't want anybody
to see us like this.
Mr. Jones?
Sit down.
What can l do for you today?
l have this problem,
this very delicate matter.
My friend wants to emigrate
to South Africa.
Of course, l can help him do that.
l want you to talk him out of it.
Talk him out of it?
Whatever for?
This is a bad time for him to go,
with all the trouble.
Have him come back later
in the week and we'll sit down...
He's here.
Yeah, he's here now. Alphonse?
There must be some mistake.
Say, what?
Listen to your friend.
He knows what he's talking about.
l don't think you want to go
to South Africa.
Why not?
Because you're black.
You are.
He is.
Of course l am black.
That's why l want to go.
To join my brothers in the struggle...
...against the racist...
...fascist...
...white minority regime!
Fascist regime!
One man, one vote!
Free South Africa, you son-of-a-bitch!
l've heard as much as l want to.
You must leave.
What's happening?
Don't touch me! Back off!
Close the security gate! Quickly!
End apartheid now!
You going to arrest me
if l don't shut up?
One man, one vote!
Free South Africa! Give me that flag!
You can't push me out!
You call this security?
More people come in and out of here
than Grand Central Station.
Wait, gentlemen!
Don't bother to call the police.
l'm here already.
l should have known.
Well, well.
The master race.
l hope you realize
the trouble you are in right now.
As usual, you people have everything
upside down and turned around.
Gentlemen...
...show Officer Riggs into the street.
Fingers off.
Hands off!
Let me see that.
That's a piece of hardware you got.
Where do you get that stuff?
l've never seen it.
Where's it from, South Africa?
Don't move.
You haven't heard about me? l got a
bad reputation. Sometimes l go nuts.
Don't move.
l'll make a deal with you, Arjen.
Or is it Aryan?
Whatever the fuck your name is.
You fold up your tents...
...and get out of my country...
...and l won't do anything to you.
l'll leave you alone.
'Cause if you stick around here,
l'm gonna fuck your ass.
Send you home
with your balls in a sling.
Just get out of here...
...Kaffir lover.
Eenie...
...meenie...
...miney....
Hey, Moe!
Sorry, Adolf.
Pick them up with your hands.
Big smile. Big smile!
Vorstedt, come here.
Vorstedt!
-Hello, Officer...?
-Martin Riggs.
What are you doing here?
l've been with your boss...
shooting the breeze.
Shooting his fish.
The guy goes,
''But, but, but...you're black!''
He's black.
No shit.
He started some shit!
You get into Rudd's office?
l got up there.
Aryan Crud and his Brown Shirts
turned up, but l ripped this off a pad.
''Alba Varden, Thursday.'' Alba Varden?
lsn't that Hitler's girlfriend?
That's Eva Braun.
He has a date with her Thursday.
Her name sounds familiar.
l don't know her.
lt just sounds familiar. Alba Varden.
A deli! Let's eat. l'm starving.
l'll spring.
Let's go. Sounds good.
-Get out the other side, Leo.
-lt's okay!
No cars.
That policeman.
You should pick from the bottom.
They put the old stuff on top.
Officer Riggs!
l followed you from the consulate.
You followed me?
Well, l needed some pork chops
and a toilet brush, too.
l wanted to apologize...
...for the other day,
if we frightened you.
l was a bit startled by all those guns.
l'm sorry.
And l wanted to thank you, too.
Thank me for what?
You don't like your boss
very much, do you?
l don't like many things
about my boss and my country.
But l like my job very much.
lt keeps me here in Los Angeles.
You like this town?
That's a new one.
-l forgot your first name.
-lt's Rika.
Rika Van Haagen-Dazs.
-lce cream?
-No, Van den Haas. lt's Dutch.
That's real pretty.
You got a rabbit at home?
lt's mine.
Shop one day at a time?
Good police work, officer.
l get paid for that.
l don't shop for the entire week.
Why not?
l never know what l'll be hungry for.
Wait. Have dinner with me.
l got a nice place on the beach.
A good view from every window.
A beautiful sunset. Come on,
be original. Everyone else says no.
Come to my place. l'm a gourmet cook.
Let go of the basket.
l'll scream.
l'll embarrass you in public.
You'll turn red like that apple.
-Come on with me.
-No, no, please.
Let go of my bag! Look what she's
doing! Somebody call a cop!
What are you doing?
Let's go before someone calls a cop.
You are a cop.
You must be an honest cop.
lt ain't much, but it's everything
l said. Look at the view.
l did exaggerate
about one thing, though.
l'm not exactly a gourmet cook.
l can only make chili.
-Like it with crushed Oreos?
-Of course.
A woman after my own heart.
Watch your step.
Sam wants in.
Here, sit down.
Oh, wait a minute. A little filthy.
l have no wine. How about a beer?
That's fine.
She drinks beer.
What's the matter?
You got a dirty glass?
Oh, it's the wedding ring.
l used to be married.
Not any more?
Not any more.
l've got something on the stove.
Rudd's hiding behind
his diplomatic credentials, isn't he?
Rudd's hiding behind
his diplomatic credentials.
He's not a very nice guy.
Whatever he's doing...
...he shouldn't get away with it.
How's it hanging, Wyler?
-What do you want?
-l hope better than Murtaugh.
Easy, easy.
Tell me something. Have your brains
ever seen the light of day?
Who are you?
What do you want? l'm a cop!
No, you were a cop.
Hurry up, honey.
l'm going to take a couple laps
before l go to the station.
Sam, take a hike.
No Stooges tonight. Go on.
Get that beer in here.
Don't worry about it.
Cavanaugh, are you in or out?
l'm out.
Put some music on.
Who's not accounted for?
Riggs and Murtaugh.
Murtaugh's taking the witness
to a new location.
-And Riggs?
-Hasn't checked in yet.
Get on the radio and find them!
We lost Wyler, Collins, Cavanaugh.
How many do we have to lose?
Let's worry about the ones
that are alive, all right? Do it.
Sorry, Captain.
Get me Riggs.
l'll get that.
Wrong number.
Thanks to you, l missed my poker game
and l was feeling real lucky.
Okay, so what l see are nice,
conservative tax returns.
Everything by the book,
black and white.
So you just need to play around
in the gray areas...
...if you want to see some bucks.
On your salary, there's not much
to do but you need deductions.
-My boat.
-You can't deduct it.
No, it's the bill of sale.
l know, but you can't do it.
That's it, my boat! Let's go!
To my house.
Because of my boat.
Look at this commercial.
Look at the body on this kid.
She is so hot.
What are you doing? l want to look
at the girl! Why'd you do that?
l didn't hear you say that.
Say what? She's great.
She makes me want to buy rubbers.
Time for the seventh inning stretch.
That's a baseball expression.
l know.
But we're only up to the fourth inning.
Batter up.
Stay in the car.
l'll only be a minute, okay?
Stay in the car? lt's cold.
You have no door.
You're the reason there's no door.
Turn on the heat.
Don't touch anything.
Nothing. l mean nothing!
Alba Varden. Why do l know the name?
lt's here. lt's got to be.
-Another day, another hobby.
-Yeah, another hobby. What's new?
That's the day on my boat.
lt's not there. Where is it?
My birthday.
l'll be damned.
Alba Varden is a ship, not a woman.
Leo, l told you to stay in the car!
Shit!
Nailed them both.
My car!
Leo!
Get up, get dressed.
Get dressed. Come on.
-l don't understand.
-Just trust me. l got a bad feeling.
Get in the truck.
The keys are under the front seat.
When they stop to reload,
run for the truck!
-What about you?
-l'll be okay.
l'll meet you in the truck. Go on!
Stay out of the light!
The master race.
You shit! Who were those people?
You tell me. Was it your husband?
What are you doing Saturday?
lt's Sam!
Head down!
Come on, Sam!
Come on, Sam.
Shake a leg.
You made it.
Has he got any holes in him?
Oh, you clever dog.
l promised to have you home by 11 .
This is the most incredible first date
l've ever been on.
Wait until the second one.
-No more helicopters, please.
-Okay, l promise.
This is a very nice building.
Any vacancies? l'm between homes.
You can stay right here.
l can?
Yes, there's
a vacant apartment up there.
l'm kidding.
You can stay with me.
Tonight?
Yes, tonight. And tomorrow night.
And the night after that.
And after that?
Don't push your luck.
l better go.
Go inside and lock all the doors
and stay there.
And you're not going to work tomorrow.
There's better ways of staying
in LA than working there.
All right. l've just quit.
l'll just grab a few things--
Hell, l haven't got anything.
Just bring yourself.
l better go.
Go home!
Go get the girl.
l would offer you a drink,
but l understand...
...you're on the wagon.
That stuff will kill you quick.
You know so much about me,
who are you?
l changed the course of your life.
Four years ago...
...when you was a narc at Long Beach...
...you were getting too close,
so we put a contract out on you.
l handled it myself.
Drove your car right off the road,
remember?
But you weren't driving, were you?
You can't imagine the surprise...
...when l pulled back a matted mop of
bloody hair to see this woman's face.
Your wife, right?
She didn't die straight away.
lt took a bit of time.
You don't have much luck
with women, do you?
She's dead. They killed her.
Where are you?
They killed her. She's dead.
They killed them both.
Slow down. Who are you talking about?
Where are you?
She's dead, Roger.
Calm down. We'll take care of it.
Where are you?
l'm not a cop tonight. lt's personal.
You don't know what happened tonight.
There's more.
l'm going to get those bastards.
l'm going to fuck them. l'm going now.
We're not going to the stilt house!
We're under orders!
Then the house will have to come to me.
They killed them both.
They got Rika and they got my wife.
Shit.
What's the deal?
You talk to the Feds,
but you don't talk to me.
That's not fair.
We trusted you.
You betrayed us.
You took our money!
We want it back now...
...you slimy little shit.
Give him more. He likes it.
Don't try and stop me.
l've seen that look
in your eyes before.
They declared war on the police.
You know about that?
l heard it on the radio.
We don't have the authority.
Cavanaugh...
...Wyler, Shapiro...
...Rika, Vicki. How much
fucking authority do you need?
You got a plan?
Drive around the front of the house...
...wait for my signal...
...and then just go in
and shoot those fuckers.
They got Leo.
Be careful.
Wait.
What's your signal?
You'll know when it happens.
Somehow l think l will know.
Feel like talking?
lt's the big one!
Cool it. Watch him.
Move me away from the windows!
Riggs, you crazy mother--!
Holy Christ!
-You all right?
-Yeah, l'm okay.
Thanks.
-Was Adolf in there?
-He got away.
-l'm going to find him.
-What about Leo?
What about Leo?
You're on your own now.
What do you mean?
Take my car to the police station
and wait for the Federal Marshal.
lt's been an experience knowing you.
-l don't want a hug.
-Go on. Lucky if you see him again.
l had a lot of fun.
You do your duty now.
l'm going to really get them now.
Listen. Wait.
ls it okay if l sound the siren?
Loud as you want.
Really? Okay. Really?
Check it out.
Alba Varden is a cargo ship,
not a woman.
The Port Authority said
that the Alba Varden arrived today...
...and heads out tomorrow
to South Africa.
This is the eleventh dock.
lt must be here someplace.
l know l'm right.
The ship!
What did l tell you?
That container there
with three heavy hitters.
Let's have a look.
l'll take 2 of them out, you take 1 .
Better yet, you take 2, l take 1.
Pull over to the side.
-l can't see shit!
-Me, either. What is this shit?
Got a light?
lt's Rudd's, whatever it is.
l still can't see shit.
-You got something?
-l don't know. lt's a car.
Shit! Fort Knox!
Hell, how much is it?
Thousands.
Fucking millions.
Billions of fucking Donald Trump lotto.
Look at this.
These are $1,000 bills!
With what l'm holding in my hand
l could put all my kids through college.
Take it.
Fucking drug money.
Do something good with it.
Rudd won't need it where he's going.
Load the container.
The next time the sun hits
their bodies, they'll be in Cape Town.
-Hey, this thing's moving.
-lt sure as hell is.
-What are we gonna do now?
-l don't know.
Let's shoot our way out.
No, don't. l got a better idea.
Our money.
Make sure they're dead.
-You go first. l'm too old.
-You go first. l'll cover you.
-How do we get out of here?
-l'll go this way.
l'll go this way and check over here.
Oh, shit!
Riggs, you okay?
Drop it, asshole!
Diplomatic immunity!
lt's just been revoked.
You're breathing. You're not dead.
No, don't die.
You're not dead until l tell you.
You got that, Riggs?
You're not dead until l tell you.
You got that?
You' re not dead until l tell you.
Now, breathe with me.
Breathe.
Rog, in my pocket.
l want you to throw those things away.
Those things will kill you.
You son-of-a-bitch.
l thought you were dying.
l didn't die on your toilet,
l'm not going to die in your arms.
You son-of-a-bitch.
Where are they? Are they all gone?
Did you get the bad guys?
They been dekaffirnated.
Don't make me laugh! Jesus!
Did anyone ever tell you...
...you really are a beautiful man?
Give us a kiss.
Where'd that bullet hit you?