Yeah
I want it that way
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never want to hear you say
want it that way
Don't look at me when
you sing that part.
Feel it!
Ugh.
That way
Man,
that was pretty fun.
What happened, man?
It's not a solo group. I
needed you up there with me.
That's why none of those
kids had solo careers.
I meant us.
What are you
talking about?
Remember when we
first moved here...
and we said if we didn't make
it by the time we were 30...
we would move
back to Ohio?
Remember that?
Yeah.
We're 30 as shit
right now.
And tomorrow you're
gonna sell your game, J.
That's a guarantee, dude.
And also, they're running
my commercial again.
Why would you want
them to run that?
What do you mean?
It's great exposure.
Is it?
I have.
Wave.
Wave.
Genital herpes.
Dude, I got $11,000
from that commercial.
I've been living
off that for 2 years.
Oh, just go talk to her,
you pussy.
You want me to open for you? I do not.
I'll be happy
to open for you.
The last girl you had
sex with was 55 years old.
Don't bring Jane
into this, dude.
What was I
supposed to say?
"Hi, I'm a 30-year-old assistant
at a video game company.
"Wanna meet my roommate?"
L.A. doesn't work
like that, dude.
Fucking piece
of shit!
Come on, do not do this
to me right now, bro.
Piece of shit!
What the-!
I hear you, dude!
One second!
I don't need the lights
in my face. I hear you!
Should I reverse into
him? Absolutely not.
Just go!
What?
Oh, no, you gotta
be kidding me.
Oh, dude, it's bad.
That's real damage.
Hey,dude!
Don't touch car.
You hit my car.
Are you kidding me?
Ryan, chill.
I'll get proof.
What the fuck?
You need to watch
who you take picture of.
Don't touch
my friend, man!
What? I said get away from my friend.
Ryan.
I need your
insurance information.
Hey! Whoa, whoa!
Hey, get their
plates, man!
They don't have plates!
Damn it.
Hey, nobody move.
You guys are all witnesses.
What's up, guys?
How's everybody doing?
Everybody's good?
Cool. Cool. Um...
This...
is a character-driven
action game.
But don't think
of it as a game.
Think of it as
a real life experience.
You are a cop,
put in real life-
Okay, stop. Stop.
Shut that shit off.
Okay.
Spare me
the corny gimmicks.
What's the game about?
Um, it's called "Patrolman."
Patrol-Man. Huh.
I like that. What kind of
superpowers does he have?
Check out
this girl's pussy.
Oh, no, it's a cop, so he doesn't
have any superpowers or anything.
What does he have?
Is he a vampire,
or anything original?
You know
what's original?
Firefighters.
Yes.
Firefighters? Okay.
Who wants to be a cop?
I wanna shoot at cops.
I don't wanna be one.
Good point.
If I can just show
you guys the game.
Cops are actually
really cool.
No, they're not.
Shut up.
You know what's
really cool?
Zombies.
I want you to start working on
"Firefighters versus Zombies."
That's genius.
Boom!
What if it was a war between
firefighters and zombies?
Post-apocalyptic.
Set it in New York City and destroy
Manhattan. Hey. You writing this down?
All right,
we can win this!
Razor-15! 1-4-5! Hut!
1 Mississippi, 2
Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...
I'm open!
5 Mississippi, 6
Mississippi, 7 Mississippi...
Come on,
I'm wide open!
Rock you like a hurricane
Are you ready, baby?
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Eat shit, Joey.
Rock you like a hurricane
Here I am
Whoa, ho-ho!
Yes!
This is good.
Everybody, huddle up!
Tommy, you gotta
block a little bit.
Use your heart.
You block like a bitch.
You're a ball hog!
Man up!
Joey, did you
see that shit?
Dude, that shit was tight.
Right?
Shut up, Joey.
Hey, don't tell him
to shut up.
Come on.
We're out of here.
Where are you
guys going?
Home!
What the fuck, Ron?
It is a tie game!
You will not go pro
with that attitude, Ron!
You didn't go pro!
I got injured, man!
What's your excuse?
What do you do
all day, anyway?
What do you do all day?
Hang outwith Ron?
Shut up!
Why don't you
shut up, Ron?
Who is that guy?
Some loser.
He shows up every day and
he thinks he's our coach.
Ron's getting in my
fucking head, dude.
Hello?
Ow!
Why would you do that?
Why'd you hit me
in the face?
You don'tjump
out on brothers.
We don't like that,
you know that!
I was just trying to show
you the costume for tonight.
God!
So how did we do today?
They... bought it.
Green light.
Yeah!
Oh, I'm so happy for you!
I knew it! Yeah!
And that's why we're going
to the party tonight in style.
Do you really
wanna do that?
It's gonna be like
a college reunion.
Yes!
I don't know, man.
I mean, they're throwing a costume
party in the middle of June.
That's what the e-vite said.
I don't know.
It doesn't make sense.
I'll tell you
what makes sense.
Us kicking ass and taking
names. We're ghosts.
You look ridiculous.
Then how about those?
My cop stuff?
No.
Why not?
No. Then how about this,
you fucking downer...
Cops or ghosts?
Your choice.
We look ridiculous.
What are you talking
about? We look badass.
I feel like Danny Glover before
he got too old for this shit.
These vests are
really heavy.
Because they're
real bulletproof vests.
They are?
Yeah.
So all this is real?
Everything.
What about the guns?
Are the guns real?
Yeah, but they
don't fire.
What is the point
of that?
The police are here.
You idiot.
Why am I an idiot?
Because this is not a costume
party, it's a masquerade party.
That's the same thing.
Not the same thing.
Not the same thing.
Okay, relax.
Not the same thing.
Where are you going?
Hey, man! Congrats!
Oh, it's Justin!
Hey!
Ryan said you were a big
time video game designer now.
Oh.
I wouldn't say
big time...
but I
definitely work on games.
Come on! He said you just got
done selling some huge game!
What's it called? I'm
gonna tweet that shit out.
Um...
Patrolman versus Zombies...
Patrol-Man
versus Zombies, okay.
Versus Firefighters.
Patrol-Man versus Zombies
versus Firefighters.
Good seeing you.
What a game this has been.
It's been back and
forth the entire game.
Heck of a performance
from this guy...
Senior Quarterback,
Ryan O'Malley...
Hey, who's that
handsome guy?
O'Malley takes the snap,
avoids the blitz.
Nobody's open. O'Malley
is gonna take it himself.
He cuts across the field,
leaving Chandler in the dust.
He's at the twenty.
Two men to beat. Ten.
Five. Touchdown!
He made it! What a run!
O'Malley did it. He made it!
What a run!
Ryan O'Malley has just
delivered one of the greatest-
But I knew I could
beat the outside.
This has been a stellar
performance by O'Malley...
the young player
who we're hoping
to see a lot of
in the future...
O'Malley!
0h. yeah!
Oh! Everybody's here!
Great to see you guys!
I was just
watching the play.
What happened? We all thought
you would have gone pro.
Yeah, definitely.
You know, with the injury...
Didn't I see you in a
herpes commercial, though?
Yeah, you did!
I killed that, right?
So you're an actor now?
No, they found me
in a mall, dude.
No, I've been
mentoring some kids...
teach some football, the
ins and outs of the game.
How to play it right.
You know, just to give back
to the community.
But what's your job?
Yeah, there's
odds and ends.
I told you I did
that commercial.
No, I mean,
what's your career?
I mean, what do you-
Hey, he's O'Malley, right?
That's his job.
Yeah, man.
Right?
You're out of here? Oh,
you guys are going with him?
Oh, you're all going.
What happened
to that guy?
Ryan.
Wait up.
I didn't sell
my game today.
I know, Justin.
L.A.'s not
for me, dude.
I'm moving back
to Ohio.
Are you all right?
Me too, man.
Me too.
This magic moment
So different and so new
Was like any other
Until I met you
And then it happened
Officer!
Officer!
Scavengerhunfl We all
have to kiss a cop!
Everything I want I have
Whenever I hold you tight
This magic moment
That was different.
Yeah.
Freeze!
You guys
over there, freeze!
Everybody freeze.
What the fuck?
Carry on.
Everybody be safe.
Carry on.
I got my eyes
on you, Jack.
Carry on.
Goodness.
Justin, you've got
to try it.
Police! Freeze!
Oh!
My bad, dude.
Stupid pigs.
Stay in school.
Yep, they think
we're real.
So, let's be cops.
Well-well-well.
What do we have here?
What you got in
your hand there?
Oh, ajoint.
Officers, this is-
That's some
really good weed, man.
Is this for real?
Go.
Do not exhale, man.
Just keep it in. Be cool.
Be cool, Justin,
we're good.
Even the cops think
we're cops, Justin.
Yeah!
Hey, look who it is.
Look,dude.
I knew we'd see
these dicks again.
Hey, pull over.
Are you serious?
I'm serious.
They're at Georgie's.
Pull over.
This is not right.
I make my payments.
I don't talk. We have
been here 32 years.
This is my whole life.
This is my family.
Georgie, be smart.
When Mossi admires your
business, you make him partner.
Butlnever
asked for a partner.
He no your ask permission.
You realize we're
not real cops, right?
Just watch my 6.
Your 6?
My backup.
Don't use the lingo.
Oh, fuck you. I'm using the
lingo. The lingo's half the fun.
Whoo!
We're here.
We got reports
of a 418.
What? Why don't you
tell them what a 418 is?
I don't know.
Tell them.
And I gotta say,
you look suspicious, buddy.
Hands where I can see them. All of you.
Hands where I can see them!
What's going on
over there? Come on.
Get my 6.
Don't say that.
What the...?
Hey, you two,
get up here. Now.
Do I know you?
You do now.
Everybody outside. Now.
Now!
Outside!
All right, turn around.
Hands against the car.
Now. Hands against the car.
Dude.
Take my photo.
For what?
For Facebook.
Thank you.
All right,
turn around, guys.
Chop chop, guys.
Turn around.
This vehicle was involved in
a hit-and-run the other night.
And the car you hit
was very expensive.
The car was worth anywhere
between $15,000 and $27,000.
27...
$27,000.
Partner-
My bad.
Give them a sobriety test.
I'm gonna 402 the vehicle.
What's a 402?
Search and seizure.
Hey, guys.
How's your
night going?
Hands on
your head, please.
Do a couple of
spins for me.
That's good.
Okay-
You can't drive around...
with bourbon in your-
What else?
Pelvic thrusts. Hands still
up there, pelvic thrusts.
Yeah, like that.
What? What? What?
Ho-ho!
Yeah!
Now...
bust it wide open.
You gotta see what's
going on back there.
What's going on
back there?
Pop that.
Earn that money.
Dance like you just
found out you're pregnant.
That's laundry for a week.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Yeah!
When did you guys
stop dancing?
And that goes there.
Well, I hope we all
learned a lesson here.
Now who are you?
Who are we?
Why don't you tell these men who we are?
We're the law, bitch.
Yeah!
That was cool, man.
t felt so good.
Yeah!
You heard him.
We're the law, bitch.
We're the new
sheriffs in town. Okay?
Now get in your
car and get out.
Now.
Yeah! All right!
This is what
we needed, buddy.
How far are we planning
on taking this, dude?
Why do you ruin everything
by thinking about it?
Just enjoy the night.
Hey, um...
I'm sorry. I had no
idea that you were a cop.
Oh.
No, I'm not really a cop.
What do you mean?
We're more than cops.
Yeah, we help all
the intense units.
SWAT, FBI.
The other day,
we were on a 5150...
and this guy comes off with
a sawed-off shotgun, right?
Bang,bang,bang!
Dude, what are you-
I look behind me
and J-Rock...
puts one in the chest
and two in the balls.
One in each ball.
Wow, really?
No, I don't
shoot testicles.
Do not let that
humble face fool you.
And we all at the force talk about
it. We think he needs a serious...
back massage.
Okay.
Uh, I'm Josie.
Oh, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too...
Chang.
Oh...
Chang. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chang, yeah.
That's my name.
It's a family name.
Chang you very much.
That was racist.
I'm sorry.
You're funny.
I'm sure I will see you
around, Officer Chang.
Oh, my lord!
Ooh!
She likes you, Justin.
You do not mess
with the law!
You don't mess with the law! Yeah, yeah!
Yeah!
We have problem.
Cops stopped us from
getting Georgie to sign.
What kind of cops?
Hie-cops?
Yeah.
Did they buy you
a donut?
Now find me those cops.
Police
hand signals are crucial
in life-threatening
situations.
The most important
hand signal is Code 4.
Code 4 means,
"All clear.
"We're all good here."
Code 4. All clear.
What is Code 387?
Grand The.
What is Code 287?
Kidnapping.
Watch your surroundings.
Control the situation.
Remember the
3 essential steps of self-defense.
Absolutely. It's all the
technique I told you about.
Okay?
Let's may, Joey.
Try to kill me.
You're the bad guy. You're
the crackhead, I'm the cop. Go.
Come at me.
Come at me.
You stabbed me, you
son-of-a-bitch! Sorry.
Whoo!
All right!
What you got going, my dude?
Whatever
we want! We're cops!
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, dude.
I'm getting pulled over.
Play it cool, Chang.
Play it cool? I can't
play it cool. I'm black!
Turn off
the engine and step out of the car.
Okay. I'm getting out.
Hands on top of your head.
Okay-
Are you
wearing an LAPD uniform?
Officer, I can explain-
Turn around!
Spread your legs.
Don't fight it!
Officer,
what are you doing?
Whoo!
Officer!
I'm gonna ride you!
0h, my gosh!
What is wrong with you?
You should have
seen your face, man!
Wow. Where did
you get this?
eBay, dude.
eBay? Yeah,
there's tons of them.
Isn't this so illegal?
No.
Well, I mean, yeah.
Putting the lights on
kind of is.
I had to do that myself.
What about the LAPD shit.
Got it online.
Then I went to Kinko's.
Kinko's?
Plastered it on myself.
This is crazy, dude.
Some next level shit
is what it is, Justin.
Some next level shit.
Load it up and crack a trick
I'm above the law, bitch
Isn't that the guy who
took a shit on our doorstep?
He's a cop.
Everybody get down
Officers,
is there a problem?
Do you want to go
to jail tonight?
Um...
There you guys are!
What are you
talking about?
Somewhere fun.
All right!
Oh, yeah!
Damn!
Oh, no, no, no. We're real
cops. These are our guns and-
We paid $500
for your asses.
Now get up there
and shake those dicks!
WOMAN 23 That's right!
I'm getting
fucked tonight.
Take it off.
Come to mama.
0h. yeah!
Get your dollar
bills ready, girls.
WOMAN 23 Make it flash!
No touching!
Stop, guys!
Can I just dance?
Ew.
What?
Oh, gosh.
You get
what you pay for.
Ugh.
All right, let's do it
again. Roll up the windows.
Here we go! Here we go!
You look really different
without your uniform.
Is that a compliment
or an insult?
All right,
young lady.
I'm the cop here,
so I'll be asking
the remainder of
the questions, ma'am.
Oh, okay.
First off...
How on earth do you
not have a boyfriend?
Honestly, Justin, I have
the worst taste in men.
Thank you.
No, I mean...
I'm a psycho magnet.
I don't know.
Give me an example.
Okay-
Right now, there's this guy who keeps
coming in to my work and bothering me.
And normally, I would just
tell him to get lost...
but he's like
real deal scary.
Next time this guy
shows up at your work
you tell him
I want his number.
Seriously,
he seems like my type.
Whoa, is that real?
Yeah, it happens sometimes.
I like it.
I like you.
Listen, I gotta
tell you something.
What?
And it's gonna sound
crazy.
Officer Chang,
this is the LAPD...
I'm gonna need you to stop creeping
out that girl and get back to work.
All right!
I have to tell her.
She's too good
of a girl, man.
And now she's sitting over here
thinking I'm Denzel in Training Day.
More like Ethan Hawke.
What's that?
What are those?
Oh, this?
You sew those on?
I got promoted
to sergeant.
You promoted yourself?
Ifeelhke
I deserved it.
I don't want you getting
too weird with this.
I'm not getting
too weird, Chang!
Stop calling me Chang.
Look at your nametag.
I would love to
meet the 6-foot-1
Chinese guy that
can fit this outfit.
All units, all
units, we have a 2735 in progress...
Stop, I wanna hear this.
A 2735 in progress...
Domestic disturbance.
Sweet. Let's hit that shit.
No. What are you doing?
Yes.
No!
Yes, let's get in the
shit.
No!
Don't!
We're getting in the shit!
We're not getting in the shit!
We're getting in the shit! No!
I'm a sergeant!
Oh, I'm gonna
kill you, Justin.
I'm gonna kill you.
Reported
suspects are 3 females,
early 20's,
possibly intoxicated.
Oh, that's how
it's sweet.
Light them cherries up! Whoo!
What if the real
cops come?
Are you kidding? It'll
take at least an hour.
It's a domestic
disturbance call.
How do you
know that?
Would you shut up and
let me do my job here?
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
What's the plan?
The plan is we
control the situation.
That's what the YouTube
video said. YouTube?
Police! Open up!
I'm gonna wait in the car, bro. Chang!
Get your ass back here
right now. You're my partner-
Thank God you're here!
Oh, yeah,
thank God we are here.
Absolutely. What seems
to be the problem, ma'am?
It's my sorority sisters.
Please hurry and come in.
Sorority sisters.
Oh, I thought you said you were
gonna wait in the car, Chang.
I'm not.
I thought you said you
were gonna wait in the car.
Stand down.
You stand down!
I'm the sergeant, Chang.
I'm going first.
What the hell?
You need
to get out.
Well, I'm out.
Chang.Chang!
We gotta control
the situation.
Are you kidding me?
Hey, hey!
You need to stop!
I'm controlling
the situation!
You need to give me the phone!
You're gonna get your ass whooped!
Help!
I will control
the situation- Ow!
Chang, help!
All right!
Don't touch me!
Calm down, sir!
Excuse me?
That's a ma'am!
Oh.
Oh.
You guys seem like
two classy ladies.
Let's handle this like adults. Yes.
What is your name?
Precious.
She ain't that precious.
What is your real name?
Precious.
Yeah, but when you were
born, what did your-
Not your gang name
or your stripper name.
Precious.
Ma'am, for the last time,
what is your name?
It's Precious.
Precious, okay, that's cool.
That's a very pretty name.
So Precious, great name, why don't
you tell us what's going on here?
I'll tell you what's going on! She's
trying to get with my man behind my back!
I ain't trying shit!
Her man be texting me!
Hell no!
You're a lying-ass bitch!
You call me a bitch again,
bitch, and see what happens!
Just don't call her
a bitch again, okay?
Here's what we're gonna
do. Give me your phone.
What you doing?
Stop!
I'm gonna go home.
Stop it, we're cops.
Act like it.
I will be reading the part of
D'Andre, the man in question.
JaQuandae!
JaQuandae.
You read JaQuanda.
I'm not gonna do that.
"What are you doing?"
Why do you get
to read the boy?
Jusfin!
"What are you doing?"
"Eating soup.
"Trying to lose some
weight and stuff."
And I did.
"Girl, you ain't gotta lose
shit." JaQUANDAE: Thank you.
"'Cause you fine
as wine."
"Look, D'Andre, Don't be
texting me again, okay?"
You see?
"Unless you wanna get
them nuts up in my guts."
Oh, that's sex!
That's sex!
You can win this, J!
What are you crazy?
Oh!
I'm sorry!
Oh no, you didn't!
Oh, ho-ho! I felt it!
I felt the squish!
You hit my girl!
Why would you do that?
J, control
the situation!
No!
That's what you get!
Don't even say it.
That's what you get.
Does this hurt?
Ouch. Yeah.
Ooh.
Still hurts.
How many bad guys were there? Um...
Two, but the little girl,
she could really fight.
She?
What?
You said she.
No, I didn't. Why would
I say she? I fight guys.
VVhoa!VVhoa.
Okay, now that scares the
shit out of me, for real.
Thank you.
Wow.
It's cool that you're a
make-up artist. That's awesome.
Yeah, trying to be.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
I'm not a make-up artist.
I'm a waitress.
When do I face
reality and just...
You can't give up
on a dream.
Look at all this
work you've done.
That's the last
thing you wanna do.
Or else you're gonna regret
it for the rest of your life.
Yeah, I guess so.
It's pretty insightful
for a badass cop.
Okay, Josie, wait.
Um...
I gotta tell
you something.
This...
This is not me.
It's not.
Josie. Please.
Okay, Josie...
lneedto tell you something.
I'm not a cop, okay?
I am a cop.
Holy fuck, I'm a cop!
I'm a motherfucking cop!
Wow.
Wow.
Wait, what?
No, whoa, what I meant
to say is...
I'm not a good cop.
For you, I'm not.
Yeah, put those away.
It's hard
to concentrate.
Oh, my God, I'm so hot.
Oh, my gosh.
Why didn't you tell me?
Oh, no, no, no. I'm
all me. I like ladies.
I'm a lady's man, baby.
You really need
to stop talking.
I'm so proud
of you, Chang.
We just kissed, dude.
But the next time I see her,
I'm telling her the truth.
But tonight we're going big.
Yeah, man!
Because we're cops
Cops
Cops
Trying to earn a living
Hey, hey,
hey, shut up, actually.
Oh, shit!
We're fine. Relax.
Oh, shit!
Pull over! Fuck!
Oh, damn it.
Shit, we're gonna
go to jail.
I don't wanna go to jail.
I don't wanna braid hair.
They hide cell phones
in their butts. Shut up!
We're not going to jail. Just
relax. This will be interesting.
Here's what we're gonna do. On
the count of 3, I'm gonna bolt.
What?
Let's see if they can catch
us. What are you talking about?
Let me handle this. Don't say a
word. Don't do anything stupid.
You don't do anything
stupid. Don't do anything, Ryan.
Honestly, shut up.
Code 4, we're all clear.
Move on.
You don't have any plates
on your vehicle.
We're not sure
what to make of that.
We were on a 288.
While we were inside,
somebody stole our plates.
Is that right?
Mmm-hmm.
That's right.
So I said, Code four.
Move on.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry, Sergeant.
I didn't see the stripes.
We've been getting a lot of
calls about stolen cop cars.
I'm Officer Segars,
this is Officer Jackson.
Sorry, Sergeant, we should
have called it in first.
Well, goddamn it, guys!
Don't let it happen again,
all right? That's amateur hour.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Look, I don't mean
to scold you.
I was young and
hungry once, too.
I get it.
I'm Officer O'Malley.
This is my best friend
and partner, Officer Chang.
Best friend, huh, and partner?
Oh, wish I could
say the same.
Listen, I'm kind of
embarrassed about this.
Is there any way I can make it
up to you? We're about to get off.
How about we take you guys out
and buy you a couple of drinks?
Oh...
To a cool cop bar?
Yeah, it's the coolest.
If you're buying, we're drinking.
I don't have any money on me.
Well, yeah,
the first round.
I'm sorry. Unfortunately,
we're a little tired.
We had a long day,
so we're-
I don't know if you
guys got the memo...
but Chang here is
a bit of a whang.
Hey, let me tell you something.
Jackson here is no peach either.
Non-stop donut farts.
Never a dull moment,
am I right, Sarge?
6- Adam-7. We got a
Code 30 at Ace Hardware.
Dude,no!
We're Code 6. Let's go.
No,no,no.
What are you doing?
We're getting their six.
No, we're not!
Wanna take the lead
on this, Sarge?
Me? No, you guys
go ahead.
I'm gonna evaluate you guys,
individually and as a team.
Go. We got eyes on you.
Holy shit.
LAPD!
Los Angeles
Police Department!
Shh, shh.
Let's go.
No,no,no.
Don't you crawl.
I'm crawling.
Ow.
What?
What did you do?
I don't know.
Two here.
Okay, great.
Copy that.
What is he saying?
They're going in
from the west perimeter
and we're going to
the east perimeter.
No, we're not going to
any perimeter. Copy that.
Dude, Ryan!
No,no,no!
Your gun's fake.
Let's go.
Shut the fuck up.
Your gun's not real.
Don't touch
a shooter's arm!
Come on,
pig motherfuckers!
Don't call us pigs!
Where did you get that?
You wanna get weird,
let's get weird.
Oh, my God!
Hold on!
Hold it!
Hold it.
Hold it.
Just take off, all right?
We're not gonna chase you.
Stay right here.
We are gonna chase you.
Do not listen to him.
He's an idiot.
He's an idiot.
You can go.
We are police officers.
I promise you
we won't chase you.
I promise we
will chase you,
and I promise I'll
catch you, you rat.
Don't look at him.
I swear to you...
I pinky swear,
we will not chase you.
I pinky swear.
Just touch it.
He almost did it!
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Let me just
get this straight.
Did you just
pinky-swear with a perp?
Yeah.
That's the most embarrassing
thing I've ever lived through!
What are you talking about?
Did you see how strong he was?
He looked like Pacquiao
and Fabio had a baby!
Take him, Sarge,
take him!
Go ahead. This one's all you. Nope.
Go ahead.
Nope.
You got it, Sarge!
Watch and learn.
I came in like a wrecking ball
Oh, shit!
I never hit so hard at love
AH I wanted was
to break your walls
on, my God!
AH you ever did
was wreck me
Oh, my God!
Yeah, you, you wreck me
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold, hold, hold.
Let me up!
Let me up!
Come here.
There you go!
Way to go, Chang!
Where is the other guy?
What?
What other guy? What
are you talking about?
The other perp.
I think it was
just that guy.
You pinky swear
about that?
There were 2.
Yeah, 2.
Let's find them
then, guys! Come on!
You take the front, we'll
take the back, all right?
Yep, absolutely.
All right.
All right!
Chang. Do not
Tom Cruise run.
Yeah!
Whoo! That is living, man!
I still taste that guy's
sweat in my mouth.
Congratulations. That is
the taste of victory, man.
It's your first
collar, dude.
Dude, that was
way too close.
Seriously. What's the
worst that could happen?
"Simply wearing
a police badge is
"punishable by 1 year
minimum in a federal-"
What the fuck?
"The use of official
police equipment...
"is punishable by up to 2 years
in a federal penitentiary."
"Driving a vehicle with red
or blue lights is punishable...
"by up to 3 years imprisonment
and $200,000 fine."
What about a whole
damn police car?
Everybody get down
Which one of you little pricks
asked me what I do all day?
I'm a cop.
Joey, hop 'm.
Out of my way.
Take a lap, little boys.
He's a cop, Ron!
He ain't shit!
I love it, man.
Look, you had a great
shift. You keep it up...
and I'll give you
that badge I promised you.
What the hell
have you been doing?
Jesus, you scared
the shit out of me.
And who is this?
It's Joey.
He's our intern.
Ryan, are you insane?
No.
We could go to jail
for years for this shit.
And now you have
a little kid involved?
Who's this bitch?
I will slap that little
afro off your head.
You're good. Dude,
this is it, all right?
Take the uniform off.
We're throwing them away.
We are done. Seriously.
You wanna retire?
Shit.
This is Chang.
You're good.
I need you to come down
here right away. I'm at Georgia's.
Wait. What's wrong, Josie?
Please come down as
soon as you can. Hurry.
Yeah, but just
tell- Hello?
Damn it.
Did you hear that?
Looks like we're coming
out of retirement, homeboy.
We gotta go around back
to surprise them.
All right,
here's what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna bum-rush in, I'm
gonna say my killer line...
then you come in and
repeat everything I said.
No.
Ready, and...
Yippee-ki-yay, bitches!
Everyone down!
Yippee-ki-yay, bitches...
Everyone...
So you're the new
sheriffs in town.
Acting all hard
when I'm not here.
Well, I'm here now.
Huh.
Are you the
new boyfriend?
Can I talk to you
for a second, please?
All right, boyfriend.
All right.
My buddy's
gonna handle this.
Okay?
That's real steel. You
don't mess with the Chang.
Listen, you gotta
leave her alone now.
I'm not even talking to you
like a police officer.
This is just me talking
to you like a regular guy.
So this is you
without a badge?
Yeah. It's just
man-to-man.
Okay, let's backtrack a
little bit. So I'm a cop now-
You did it again. Yep.
You think you can
fuck with my business?
Are you threatening me?
I'm a cop, asshole.
You ain't shit.
What? You wanna jump?
Come on, bitch,
let's go.
Let's do it.
Come on, let's go.
Jump.
You're not
worth the paperwork.
I'm the law here.
Back off...
of everything.
Next time you come
to a call like this...
who knows?
Bullets fly.
Cops get hit all the time.
All right, so
we're just gonna come clean
and tell these
guys everything.
Everything except for the fact that
we've been pretending to be cops.
What? No.
It's called
taking responsibility.
This shit has
gone way too far.
It sounds stupid, man.
It's not stupid.
It is stupid.
It's smart. By principle, it's stupid.
Justin, you could still
stop right now. Shut up.
Hi. Listen I don't know
where to begin-
I should probably do the talking here
- Shh.
I guess we want to
file a police report.
Mmm-hmm.
What kind of report?
Uh, he and I have been pretending to
be cops for the past couple of weeks.
Excuse me?
t sounds crazy.
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah. it started out
just as fun...
but now we're in a lot of
trouble and we need help.
From real cops.
Hold on a second
there, Angie.
Don't believe
a word these guys say.
Oh, fuck.
These guys are a couple
of real jokers!
Let me guess.
You guys came down here to help
me fill out all that paperwork...
you ditched us with
the other night, am I right?
That's right, yeah.
No.
Good to see you guys
again. Come on back.
We're gonna go back.
This guy is a rascal.
No, I'm being serious.
We're really not cops.
That's not funny.
George Segars, he said
don't worry about it.
Help me. Please!
See you, Angie.
We're not cops.
It's not funny.
His name's
Mossi Kasic.
He's top of the shitlist.
I'm surprised you guys
haven't heard of him.
I deal with guys like this
on a daily basis, Segars.
I hear you, Sarge
but this guy is different.
He runs a crew,
preys on local shop owners...
and immigrants like himself.
He muscles in...
takes co-ownership
of the businesses...
and then uses it for money
laundering and whatnot.
He's an animal.
Hey, beautiful.
You can't reason
with him, can't talk to him.
He loves to fight.
He lives for it.
He's got this crazy temper.
He can snap,
just like that.
It's all right.
He's taken down
some big scores.
Every time we raid his
place, though... nothing.
We can't find
anything on the inside.
I gotta say,
I want this guy bad.
It's good to hear.
I want him bad, too.
I think about it every night. Me, too.
I just lay awake,
staring at the ceiling...
just thinking about
different ways to nail him.
I'm obsessed with
nailing this dude.
I wanna put him up on the wall, you know, and just
"What's my name?"
That's right.
Anyways, that's probably
never gonna happen.
What's going on, guys?
Nothing. We were just
talking about Mossi.
Nobody in the community's
gonna testify against him...
and without hard evidence,
we got nothing.
So why don't we
do surveillance?
Believe me, I'd love to do that, but
it's a little bit above my pay grade.
Right.
However...
between you and me,
Sarge... Everything is.
This station has
a shitload of equipment.
I'm talking about wiretaps,
pinhole cameras,
anything you want,
I can get for you.
I want all of it.
All right.
Let's do it. Yeah!
Hey, Sarge, Brothers in
Blue, should we sing it?
Sing what? It's the
academy song. Come on.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Fire it up.
Brothers in blue
That's good. This guy
never stops, does he?
There's a police song?
I gotta learn that.
You're a fucking idiot.
We were supposed
to turn ourselves in
and now your
checking out equipment?
Dude, you heard the cop.
It's up to us to get this guy.
He is the devil's nephew.
We're not going
near that guy!
So let me
get this straight.
You finally meet
a girl that you like...
and she likes you, and then
some douchebag comes around...
and says that you
can't be with her...
and your first
thought is to run away?
Yes. He said
he would kill me.
I'm not gonna let
you run away, man.
You know what?
What?
You wanna know
what people say about you?
I know what they say.
ButlhavenW felt like
this in a long time.
I'm good at this.
I need you, man.
I need you to...
I need you to
believe in me, man.
Please.
I'm in.
Were you about to cry?
Yeah, I don't
wanna talk about it.
I got misty, my heart
started pumping fast.
So how are we
gonna find this guy?
This is it.
God, I'm getting good
at this detective stuff.
Is that why you're
wearing that suit?
Oh, yeah, I got promoted.
You promoted
yourself again?
Yeah. I'm a detective.
What do you think
they're doing in there?
I don't know, man. Something
shady, that's for sure.
Let's see if we can get
inside and open those doors.
Let's see if we
don't do that.
Listen, Chang...
you've gotta stop
being such a pussy, okay?
Yeah, no shit.
Dude...
I will whoop
your little ass.
You will not touch his
ass. I will hit him.
Don't you
fucking hit me.
Don't!
Oh, perfect.
If I wasn't involved in a case
right now, I would light you up.
That right there, that apartment,
that's our vantage point.
But somebody
lives in there.
Justin, then they
better have good food...
becausetheyWe about to be
involved in their first stakeout!
No.
Police business,
open up now.
Hi.
Hi.
You are a fox,
aren't you?
Detective?
Absolutely,
that's my title.
Dude.
Uh, ma'am, we're gonna need to come inside
and talk to you for a minute, please.
Oh.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
It smells like
a fish farted in here.
Look at that bald one.
He looks super racist.
Like he snores
the "N" word at night.
I've seen every
cop show ever.
I'm so excited we're going
to be doing this together.
Yeah.
Just so we're clear, there's
no "we" in this situation.
Don't be a dick.
I can still be a part of
the team though, right?
Absolutely.
No.
Also, I'm not
on ecstasy.
No way.
I've had some very
dramatic relationships.
My therapist says I need
to meet a more stable guy.
I love a man in uniform.
You do?
Sure.
I don't like this.
I did a three-way once
with two paramedics.
Ma'am, I'm going to need
you to go to your room.
All right.
Alone.
You do not know
what vibage is, pal.
Why would you do that?
I think she's an interesting lady and
she's got a lot to offer this team.
We are doing surveillance.
We don't have time.
Ow.
All right,
we got action, people.
Oh, good work, Joe.
Who is that?
I think he's the boss.
Take photos
of his henchmen.
You got good ones?
How fun is this?
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I need some help.
It's my bubble bath.
It's not wet enough.
No.
Yes. That's our
civic duty.
No, it's not. Focus.
We would love to help
you, ma'am, but we can't...
because we're on a case and
we take ourjob seriously.
That is so hot.
You're so hot.
Listen to me very carefully.
I need you to lay low.
Very low.
For now.
The Dominicans are
going to make the delivery.
And you're not going to do
shit with it until I say so.
Understood?
You gonna keep
everything underground.
Underground?
What is he talking about?
Deliver what?
I don't know.
What's this?
This is the shipment.
This is our evidence.
How do you know that?
Because it's a cargo van,
and these are all bad guys.
These guys are
terrible-looking people.
Open it.
Oh...
Shit.
So?
They tell me their badge
numbers don't match up.
Which tells me one thing.
They're not LAPD.
Oh, we're dead.
So, what are they?
Feds, ATF,
maybe a special unit.
What?
Yeah, we're
black ops, dude.
So, you're going to be invisible
until I can figure it out.
Just to be clear...
if that little
guy wasn't here...
some serious weird shit
would be going on right now.
What kind of weird shit?
You are an
acrobatic angel, aren't you?
Ah.
Joey, turn around.
Oh!
Okay.
There she goes.
Boom, we got them.
Now what's
in those crates?
I'm seeing it the same time you're
seeing it. How would I know that?
I need to narrate it, because that's
what you do in these situations.
You see something and one
of the guys says it out loud.
And the other guy, you,
is supposed to go, "Yeah."
Oh, shit, dude. We gotta
know what's inside those crates.
So, what do we do now?
Joey, watch the fort.
Where are you going?
Wait a minute,
actually.
Oh...
That is so hot.
There he is.
This is a terrible idea.
Is it?
Dude, are you kidding?
No.
He's a gang member.
Exactly.
Relax, I'm just
gonna go talk to him.
I will not relax.
You're an idiot.
I got this.
Hello.
You have the right to remain
silent...
Here we go.
Justin, help me now!
Anything you say can be used
against you in a court of law.
You have the right
to an attorney.
If you can't afford an
attorney, one will be appointed-
He's biting my neck!
He's biting my neck!
Ow!
Can I talk
to you for a second?
Sure.
What the fuck!
We've gotta find out
what's in those crates.
Are you kidding me?
I'm not-
No!
Get in!
Get in the car!
Okay-
So we're
kidnapping people now?
No, Justin, it's called
an interrogation.
Where are we going
to interrogate him?
He's just a
friend. He's just a friend.
We gotta get the information out
of him about what's in those crates.
He doesn't even
speak English, dude.
Then we torture him.
You're the mysterious one.
You have to be bad cop.
So now I'm torturing him?
Hey, who said anything
about torture, Your Honor?
You just did 3 seconds
ago. Shut up,dude.
This is
a serious moment.
Make him talk.
You can do it.
All right.
You can do it!
Yeah, born ready!
Listen to me,
you little dick-snatch-
What was that?
He spit in my face.
He's not afraid of me.
You know what, then
make him afraid of you.
Reservoir Dogs, dude.
Gut the ear.
Be realistic for once.
Lift up that side.
I'm trying.
What's in those crates?
What's in those crates?
This is not how
you waterboard.
Yes it is! Have you
seen Zero Dark Thirty?
No, but I know
how to waterboard, though.
Stop drinking it!
What the hell, man?
It's sad what you're trying
to do. It's embarrassing.
All right.
I hate Mossi.
Everybody does. I'll tell
you anything you want to know.
Just stop this shit!
Why didn't you
say that before?
And that you
spoke English.
You didn't ask. You guys
pulled me out of my truck.
You drag me across
the fucking ground.
That's on me.
You throw me in
the back of a cop car.
Point the guns in my face!
Look, maybe we got off
on the wrong foot here.
Yeah, maybe.
You want a beer?
Yeah, beer sounds good.
What's your name?
My name is Pupa.
If we untie you,
do you promise
not to freak out
and kill us?
I promise not
to freak out.
Ah, man!
For real, I don't know
what's in those crates.
But Mossi paid some heavy
cash for whatever's in there.
But how do we find out?
Mossi's having one of his parties
tonight. I hear shit gets crazy.
At least 3 people die,
everytime he has a party.
What?
Those crates will be there...
but if you wait until tomorrow
that shit's going to be gone.
So we gotta do it tonight.
You gotta do it tonight.
Shit, this game
is gangster!
Really? Gangster?
It is, man, I tell you.
Where can I buy this thing?
You see, Pupa,
it's kind of complicated.
There's a lot that goes
into making games these days.
Oh, Justin.
A lot of politics. I'm
talking to a lot of people.
It sounds like you bitched
out, is what it sounds like.
You gotta go in there
and fight for your shit.
Don't you believe
in yourself?
You gotta go in
there and tell them...
"This is my game. We're
going to do it my way.
"Put the game out there now,
for people to buy it."
I gotta say, we have
to get into that party.
We gotta get in
that party tonight.
I don't understand
what you're saying.
When you start getting excited,
your English escapes you...
and you get really
native in your tongue.
How do we get
into that party?
When I'm speaking English but it still
sounds like...
Like that, I don't what you're saying.
You didn't get
any of that?
Que'?
You didn't get any-
Qu?
Holy shit.
What?
What?
This is gonna sound
a little bit weird...
But you two could
pass as brothers.
Ew! No,
this guy's gross!
No offense.
No offense?
You just said, "Ew."
The last person who said,
"Ew" to me, was my mother.
Hmm.
You guys know
where she is right now?
Heaven?
You got it.
Heaven.
Hopefully from
natural causes?
If me getting angry and doing
something foolish is natural causes...
then yes.
You look handsome.
Thank you.
A great-looking guy.
Now I'm here to play war.
Hey,Chang.
How do I make you...
look like him?
Shit.
How much time we got?
Uh...
Shut up.
I need a water, three bowls and a
lemon peel. Come on, people, let's go!
That's my girl.
She said she'd done a three-way
with a couple of paramedics.
Mmm-hmm I think this the marrying type.
Sounds like it to me.
All right.
Are you ready?
We're ready.
Oh, ho-ho.
That's handsome.
Well...
I look like someone hit me
in the face with Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne!
He made a joke
about Lil Wayne!
Oh, shit! That's funny.
Hey, Josie, I gotta say
you're one heck of an artist.
Thank you.
You're fine, too, girl.
Yeah, she's pretty.
Josie, Josie,
look at me. Look at me.
Don't do intense right now. Okay.
You're crazy fine,
that's all I'm saying.
That's a
compliment, now let it go.
Just gonna
say one more thing.
I wouldn't, though,
is what I'm saying.
I promise it's
going to be okay.
I mean, I would like
to take off your dress...
and put my
penis inside of you.
I'd really like to
get all up in that shit.
No, like in her
vagina, though.
I know, but you can't
say that. Appreciate it.
I wouldn't put
it in your butt.
I gotta go. PUPA: And
a good day to you, madame.
Do you think I could put "Undercover
sting operation for the LAPD" on my resume?
Absolutely.
Did you see when I said
"madame?" That's French.
That was sweet.
Here you go, buddy.
What if I start
sweating, dude?
These tattoos are
gonna run down my face.
Then don't sweat.
What do you mean, "Don't
sweat?" I'm not doing this.
Why you got to
be such a bitch?
Pupa,don%
call me a bitch.
You made such a cool game. If you
make it, then you got to play it.
I've been saying
that this whole time.
You made such a cool game, now you gotta play it.
What are you doing
with your accent?
What are you
doing with your voice?
I was agreeing
with you.
But you have an accent.
I know you are agreeing with me,
but you're saying it like I was.
What I'm saying is, you made a
great game and I believe in you.
So, now, you just gotta
play it.
All right, dude.
Feel free to rob him.
Oh, boy. He can't hear you. I'm
just going to ignore him from now on.
How is this on me?
This is insane.
Listen, Justin,
no matter what happens...
no matter what
anyone says to you,
all you gotta
say to them is...
What does that mean?
It means, "Suck my balls
and cock, you cocksucker."
Yeah, just say that.
Okay.
Good luck, homes. You're
gonna need it.
Look, I'm telling you,
we look a lot alike.
But Mossi is probably gonna
recognize that you're not me...
and then he gonna
cut your face off!
All right. Is that-?
What are you talking about?
Whoo! I'm sorry.
It's not funny.
Wait a second.
What?
One extra
touch for you.
Pretty good,
right here.
Oh God, no.
Just trust him.
Put it in.
You put this in your mouth. Ow. Ryan!
You'll need it.
You need it, man.
Here they come.
Ow. Ow. Aah!
I'm going to die here.
It smells like prison
and bad parenting.
Oh! Oh!
Relax! You'll be in and out.
All we gotta do is find out what's
in those crates and you'll be done.
We'll get footage of it,
and you're out.
That's easy for you to say.
They are all staring at me.
Then stare back at them.
You are a cholo vato killer!
Own that shit!
I suck balls and cock.
Ah.
Con o.
That's what I thought. Ah,
dude, I think it's working!
Hell yeah, Chang!
You tell them!
RYAN". Nice! Okay, we're in!
Dude, those chicks are hot.
Shut
up,dude. I'm freaking out.
Just relax. Be like everybody
else or you'll stand out.
Good.
Dude! What are you doing?
I'm doing my
white girl dance.
Stop doing that shit!
There's got to be some sort
of back room or storage area.
You've got some
balls coming in here.
Come with me.
Mossi's gonna
wanna speak to you.
Been looking for you.
Okay.
Shit, what do I do?
I don't know,
but don't be nervous.
But don't
fuck it up, either.
The fuck are you
doing here?
I best not be finding out
you lost one of my crates.
Make him say
what's in those crates!
Um...
What exactly are we referring
to in those crates, bro?
Hit this shit.
Nah, bro. I'm already
super piped-out.
I was like, this pipe,
that pipe, every pipe.
You know what I'm saying?
You feel me? Cofio.
I didn't ask.
Just do it, dude.
He's testing you.
You just got
cranked up, fool.
Ryan, what did I just smoke?
What does "cranked up" mean?
You just smoked
crystal meth, dude.
Crystal meth?
It's not going to affect you.
It's not going to affect me?
What are you talking about?
Right there! They have a
basement! You gotta go down there.
No way, dude. Frigging
twitching right now.
Do not puss out now!
I'm pussing out.
Listen to me.
You gotta go down there
and see what that was.
You listen to me,
all right?
I'm having a heart
attack right here!
AH right,
just open up that window.
Okay. Okay.
Why'd you hit me
in the face for? It's me!
Move! I've got an
awesome entrance.
Fuck,yeah!
That wasn't cool.
What the fuck are you
wearing? Here's where we're at.
I did some intel, and that's
their safehouse down there.
As the leader
in our situation,
I'm gonna check
that out first.
You're gonna hang out in the
hallway and stand guard, okay?
What? No, dude,
I'm on crystal meth!
I know, it's awesome.
I'm veryjealous of that.
How fun is it? I've
done it 11 times. Eleven?
And I smoked crack once.
Let's go!
No, please.
Don't leave me alone here.
Please, I'm itching.
I've got this post-nasal
drip thing going.
Don't do that!
You're gonna make me-
Don't- Hey!
Think about something else.
Think about apple pie.
I've got to take
my teeth out.
I gotta take the hat off.
I gotta take this thing
off my ear. Wig off.
Okay, come on.
What the hell
are you doing?
Oh, shit.
I can't stop twitching.
Okay, just don't think
about it. It's a mind thing.
Okay-
Come on, J.
I'm so scared.
Hold my hand.
I'm not holding
your hand.
Dude, I think I'm
addicted to crystal meth.
You just
smoked it once.
Oh, my God. I would
suck dick for this high.
You've got
to be kidding.
I wouldn't,
but what if I do?
I don't want
to suck dick.
Because I know I'm gonna get good at it.
Oh!
Shit!
Look at all
these lights!
Not the lights. We're
excited about the guns, right?
Right. Right.
Holy shit.
Justin, it's the crates.
Check it out.
Jackpot, dude.
Jack-motherfucking-pot.
See these tags?
Yeah, man.
You know what these are?
These were confiscated
by the police.
Yeah.
They were supposed to destroy
this shit. He stole all this.
I feel real good
right now.
I want to build a porch.
We should build a porch!
Right now! That'd be great.
Right.
I don't even know if I'm good
at woodwork or anything...
but I feel like
I can do that.
Mmm.
Dude, look at me.
Hey! Hey!
Hey, hey.
You wanna
go crazy, dude?
No.
Neither do I.
Thank you. That makes
me feel like a leader.
Holy shit.
You know what this is?
Clothes.
This is actual
SWAT gear, man.
Let's be real. We're
never gonna build a porch.
We're just lying
to ourselves, man.
I just want
to die, dude.
What the hell is going on with you, man?
Something's going on
inside my heart. It hurts.
Let's go, meth head, now. I'm sorry.
Now!
I'm sorry, man.
I feel so sad!
Stop.
Whoa.
Look at how far
this one goes.
What are you doing?
This is so white trash, I
don't even know what I'm saying.
What is that sound?
Our heroes rise from
the depths of Hades!
Stop, dude. You're getting so scary.
Hey, man, where
are you going? Wait up.
I got it. Mossi looks like
the original General Zod.
Hey!
Aah!
Hey-
You and me, right now.
Wait!
I'll rip your head off!
Timeout, okay?
Seriously, guys!
Uh-huh.
Who's next?
Fuck.
Check it out.
It's a jackpot.
What?
Look, with the guns...
with the SWAT, and Mossi's
boss, I got all his guys pinned.
I've got enough evidence to
put this guy away for years.
That's great, man.
Remember that long tunnel?
See where it leads?
t leads to Georgie's.
Oh.
That's why he
wants Georgie's so bad.
It's not about money laundering.
It's about having control...
of both ends
of the tunnel.
Do you see?
Why?
That's the right question.
Do you remember Segars said that
every time that they raid Mossi...
they come up
with nothing.
He's using the tunnel as an escape
route to get rid of all the stuff.
I cracked the case, man.
I'm getting so good
at this that it's scary.
Where are you
going with that?
To the police station,
to turn it in.
No, you're not.
We're mailing it in...
anonymously like we said.
Justin, come on.
This is my collar.
No one can know
this was us.
What is wrong with you?
I worked hard on this.
Why are you
getting so pissed off?
Because I almost
died in there!
All right.
Look at my face!
I smoked crystal meth!
That's not funny!
All right.
And for what? So you could
have some self-worth for once?
Where is this
coming from, man?
I didn't do this for my
self-worth or whatever!
I did it to get a guy like
Mossi off the streets...
and we're going to!
Unlike you,
who runs away...
anytime anything
in your life gets tough!
And maybe that's why
you're still nowhere.
Oh, I'm still nowhere? Me?
Yeah, you.
You've been moping
around for 8 years!
Complaining about, "Oh, life screwed
me. That's why I didn't go pro."
Life did screw me.
That's why I didn't go pro.
You jumped off
a roof at a pool party.
That's how you
injured yourself.
Be careful of where
you're going right now.
Life didn't screw you.
You screwed yourself.
Take some
responsibility for once.
Why don't you act
like a man for once,
because you might
like the way it feels.
You know what?
Everyone was right about you.
About what?
You're a loser.
Be a man.
All right, okay.
I'll show you what a man does.
I'll show you what a man does!
You got Mossi?
I got him.
Wow.
In this envelope,
lgotenough hard evidence...
to put away Mossi Kasic
for a lot of years.
Holy cow!
You and Chang make
a great team, you know?
Yeah.
I gotta get this in the right
hands right away. Can you help?
Detective Brolin.
You've heard of him.
He's in charge of the Organized
Crime Division. He's gonna love this.
Might as well go
straight to the top.
Straight to the top.
Let's do this.
Mmm.
What's up, baby girl?
Carl, park in my spot one more time
and I'm gonna punch you in the dick.
Larry! Fuck you!
Okay. Okay.
Okay!
All right!
There he is.
Detective Brolin.
I would like you to meet
Sergeant O'Malley.
O'Malley, this is
Detective Brolin.
Pleasure.
Yeah.
Have a seat.
Sergeant O'Malley says he's
got some hard evidence...
on Mossi Kasic.
Enough to take him
and his whole crew down.
There's some things
in here I didn't put-
It's okay.
It's okay. I wanna take
a look at it anyway.
Sergeant O'Malley has been
doing some surveillance...
of Mossi and his crew
for quite awhile now.
I think he's got some
good stuff in there, sir.
He seems pretty
excited about it.
Give us a minute alone.
Yes, sir.
Not you.
Relax.
Who are you?
I asked a question.
Who are you?
Before you do anything, I
already made copies of that.
Do you have a family?
Are your parents
still alive?
Yeah, my parents
are alive- No.
I am running a routine
undercover investigation...
to bring down Mossi Kasic...
and you're interfering.
That's not true.
Oh, it's not true?
No.
Well, whoever you are...
I suggest you run,
very far away...
and grow eyes in
the back of your head...
because you're never gonna
know when it's coming.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the guy who's gonna-
Take me down.
You've been
watching too many movies.
Yeah.
But I'm still
gonna take you down.
So I guess we'll see.
I guess we'll see.
Hey, O'Malley,
where are you going?
I forgot something
in my car, Segars.
Wow.
This sucks shit.
This isn't cool.
When I came up
with it, it was cool.
Where are
their superpowers?
We can give the
firefighters superpowers.
It's just...
It's just what?
It's just your
idea sucks shit, Todd.
What was that? I said
your idea sucks shit.
Justin, where are you? Call
me as soon as you get this.
You know that mobster, the guy
we thought was Mossi's boss?
He's a cop.
And he's got all
of our evidence...
which means Mossi
knows everything.
Holy shit, dude!
We're dead! Dead! Dead!
Okay, no.
Everything is
gonna be fine.
Nothing can
trace back to us.
His name is
Ryan O'Malley,
and he currently
lives with this guy...
Justin Miller.
Okay, print everything out
and bring it to my office.
Hold on a second.
I found the problem.
They're not even real cops.
What do you mean
they're not real cops?
Just what I said!
We gotta take care
of this right away.
Get it done!
I want the word on the street,
underground! Anyone who gets them!
You're not even supposed to
be in here, let alone talking.
A bunch of
shirtless firefighters...
spraying zombies
with their hoses?
What kind of game you
trying to make, bro?
I'm gonna give you one second
to get the fuck out of here.
You like that?
This guy is crazy.
Yeah, ese.
Now, a few weeks ago...
I pitched you a game
and you didn't listen.
That really
hurt my feelings.
You were there.
So were you.
Now, I'm going to
pitch my game again
and you're going
to hear me out...
or I'm going to beat the shit
out of everyone in this room.
And I've fought
women before.
I didn't Win...
but I'm down
to redeem myself.
What if we made
a game so visceral...
that it made you feel like
you were in real life danger?
To feel like it's
about to go down?
Don't think of it as a game.
Think of it as
a real life experience.
You are a cop.
My game is about
getting into situations
you wouldn't be in
in your normal life.
Situations that
are dangerous.
Real.
Where it felt like you
could actually get killed.
Aah!
Real violence isn't
like in the movies.
There he is!
Gunfire is terrifying.
Bullets are sick.
They blast and rip
through everything.
But isn't that what
people want, right?
To really feel what it's
like to be in the shit?
That's what I'm
talking about, people.
Excuse me.
Justin, there is a police
officer in the lobby to see you.
No, no. You can tell
Ryan to wait, please.
Justin! Do not go home!
I'm coming to your work!
We are in
a lot of trouble-
No,no,no.
No,no,no!
I can assure you that I will
make this thing more real...
than anything you have
ever seen in your life.
How are you gonna show us
this realistic violence, huh?
Freeze!
Nobody move!
YOuI
That's a presentation!
Let's make this game!
Aah!
What the fuck have
you guys been doing, huh?
Dude, where
the hell are you?
Are you having fun?
Justin Miller.
You wanna be a cop? Average
police response time...
12 minutes.
Average time it takes for a
man to bleed out, 7 minutes.
You do the math.
Ryan.
Ryan!
Don't come, Justin!
Run! Run!
Ryan!
Fuck!
Officer Segars.
Segars, it's Justin.
Who?
It's Chang. I'm Chang.
Chang? What the hell,
you piece of shit!
I'm hearing all kinds of
crazy things! I know, I know.
And what you heard is true.
We're not cops.
It's true? But everything I'm
about to tell you right now is real.
Mossi has got Ryan,
and he is gonna kill him.
He's got him in an underground
tunnel beneath Tirana, Mossi's club.
What underground tunnels
are you talking about?
It's their safehouse.
And there are cops involved.
They tried to shoot me.
Hey, you better watch
what you're saying, Chang.
Just come to Tirana, and
you'll see it for yourself.
Please!
Where are you right now?
How are you
doing, partner?
Long time no see.
Mmm.
You have the vest on.
That's not gonna help.
You're gonna die today.
And so is your friend.
So the best thing you can do
is just tell me everything.
Who did you give
the evidence to?
How many copies
do you have?
Your choice.
You go quick
and painless...
or you're gonna endure
something that is...
unspeakable.
Hey-
What are you doing
down there?
Josie, you gotta
go,okay?
Take Georgie and Lydia and
get out of here right now.
What are you talking about?
Don't come-
I'm not a cop, okay?
Why d6 you keep
Saying that?
It's complicated.
But what's most important
is that you leave right now.
Then, if you're not a cop,
who the hell are you?
No one you want to know.
Now go.
Sorry to bother you
gentlemen. I need to come in...
and take a look around.
Just don't hurt him.
This was my idea.
Just let him be.
I'm the only one-
Hey-
One of your
pigs is upstairs.
I thought you had
control of your cops.
Uh...
No, no, no, Mossi, listen.
Mossi, listen to me.
You think he's
gonna protect you?
You think a guy like that is gonna
protect you? Think about this.
I've got evidence
to put him away for years.
You don't think he's gonna
cover his tracks with you?
Huh? Think, Mossi!
What is your backup plan?
No, no.
No. No, please.
No, no, no, please.
No,no,no!
No!
Shit!
That's my backup plan.
Ryan! Ryan!
Where do these doors go?
This is gonna be so much
easier if you just hold still.
MOSSII Hold still!
Open. Open. Open.
No!
I'll shoot him!
I'll shoot him!
I swear to God-
Oh...
I had your 6, dude.
Drop your weapons!
Get down!
What are you doing?
Saving your life!
But don't get on top of me
like this! I don't like this!
6- Adam-7. Shots fired.
Request all available units...
Justin, get off!
What the hell was that?
Help get these
off me, quick.
Holy shit.
You all right?
Yeah, are you okay?
Yeah.
Thank you for saving us
- Just shut up!
We didn't mean
to screw you over.
t was never our intention
to pull you into this.
I don't care.
Get upstairs
and get outside!
And take that thing off.
That's a uniform.
You gotta earn it. You
understand that, "Sarge?"
Now get the fuck
out of here.
6- Adam-7.
I need backup, now.
What are you doing?
I can't do this.
He's outmanned, he's
outgunned, and it's my fault.
You were right. I gotta
take responsibility for once.
That's not
what I meant.
Wait!
What, man?
No more
running away, right?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
My bad.
Let's not use these.
What are you doing?
Get the hell out of here!
Go! Now!
Here's what we gotta do. We
gotta pull the fire away from him.
He's stuck, okay?
All right.
On the count of three, we
gotta shoot like crazy, okay?
Ok '2
Okay, ay'
3,2,1.
gems cucxme)
(SHOUT s)
Segars!
They killed Segars, man!
All right, we gotta find
a door. Look back here. Let's go.
We gotta get
the fuck out of here.
Shit, man.
What are we gonna do?
Being in the shit
isn't the shit.
No, it's not the shit.
Look, man,
I'm sorry about everything.
Everything I said.
I didn't mean-
Justin, we're brothers.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, we're brothers-
Get up, get UP!
Are you okay?
Did I just get shot? No, it's just
the spray. You're okay. We gotta go.
I just got shot!
Like I haven't been
shot before. Come on!
What?
Let's go.
Before we die,
I just want to tell you...
If you tell me you love me, I'm
gonna punch you in your face.
But we're about to die!
But you were about to say
that you loved me!
Yeah.
Say something better.
Fuck you.
That's better.
Ryan?
Ryan? Ryan?
Shit.
Chang!
Oh!
Fuck, Chang!
Are you okay?
Beside the fact that you
shot me, I'm great, Chang.
I'm sorry.
Segars, those two
with you?
Yeah, we're good.
Code 4.
All teams, 10-12.
Really too late to call so
We waited for
Morning to wake you
That's all we got
To know me as hardly golden
ls to know me all wrong
They were
At every occasion I'll be
Ready for a funeral
At every occasion...
Life can
get confusing...
and you lose sight of the
person you wanted to be.
The Los Angeles Police
Department is proud to announce...
Mossi Kasic is no longer
a threat to this city.
Fortunately, I did not have
to make this arrest alone.
This was truly a team effort.
RYAN". All right, man.
I'm passing this
gauntlet on to you...
so don't let these streets get
all messed up again, all right?
I got this shit, bro.
Sometimes, you have
to go through hell and back.
Or, we just
blow shit up!
To see that the problems you
thought were so big in your life...
weren't so big after all.
Or not. We could just do
what you want to do.
Right.
The 2 cops have to work together to
get out. I think it could be great.
Are you writing
this down?
Give me that.
Write that down.
And that courage
you always wanted...
you always had it. You just
needed to get in the game.
Hi.
Sorry, we don't
serve liars here.
Can I get you a cup of
bullshit for the road?
Josie, I didn't come
here to win you back.
Or go back to whatever
we were before.
I just came here to tell
you that I am truly sorry.
And this is what I should
have done from the get-go.
Hi, I'm Justin.
Justin Miller.
I'm a 30-year-old video game
designer and I have a roommate.
Nice to meet you.
I'm sorry.
I'm Josie. It's nice to meet you, too.
Officer Nicholas Thomas.
Officer Ryan O'Malley.
And with hard work...
and a little help
from a friend...
you can become that guy you
have always wanted to be.
Thank you.
Yeah!
Aren't you a little
out of yourjurisdiction?
I'm off-duty, civilian.
And get in.
Easy,dude!
What's Pupa doing here?
He's my informant. Now that
I need ears on the street.
I'm the ears and the eyes
on the street for him to know.
All units be advised.
Possible 2-11 Sierra
in progress.
Awesome, a 2-11 Sierra.
Okay, drop me off right here.
Oh, why are you
being such a bitch?
Pupa, stop calling me a bitch!
Dispatch, we are in route.
No, we are not in route.
Yes, we are.
No, we are not.
Yes, we are.
Don't touch that!
We're gonna arrest you!
That is a Code 3, Chang!
We are back!
Whoo!
Pizza boy, freeze!
Put the pizzas down, now.
Put the pizzas down!
Put them down!
And the sodas!
And the sodas, too!
Yeah!
You need to test
drive it for what?
For emissions, sir.
Now step outside.
Hey, Chang, hop in.
This one's you, bud.
Yeah!
Yeah!
I love that car!
How long
is he gonna be?
I don't know. A couple of hours, I bet.
Officers, thank you
so much.
No, thank you
so much.
What is-?
Oh, shit!
Not again, man!
Oh, shit,
the cops!
Go!
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Av, av
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Okay, it's the rula
Nightmare cougar
Keep me a Ruger
Pop me a poo-putt
The East is where I grew up
So it's what I threw up
Sicker than a mothafucka
Might throw my food up
Who cooler, no one losers
You had good brains
I ain't even had to school her
Need me a tutor
I just want to do her
Pass it through the lnC
And let my bro screw her
I'm killer
and I'll be that way
I got a large appetite
for some pussy and weed
I said my money is green
and my thun thun blue
And if! pop that bitch
she gon' pop one too
Okay, she poppin' too
Now she's geeked like me
I said we jerkin'
and we stumpin'
But can't catch the beat
We can't catch the beat
but I'm feelin' my dance
I had one pill left
and it fell out my hand
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Av, av
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Av, av
AH right, oh, my goodness
I'm turned up
I got a bottle
You got a cup
You hit the Dougie
I two-step
You're not with this
I am lnC Rep
Ha, you can make
a chick about us
She know my whole crew
She know the song too
Ratchet boys in this shit
like what it do
Finattic Gang, ho
Now who the fuck are you?
I'm easy
I'm never turned down
Thizz face on
Girl this ain't no frown
Sippin' on lean
Somebody's girl goin' down
Like 3-2-1
Where your girl at now?
Three pills down
That's on me
And it wouldn't be a song
if I didn't say "eeeiii"
So don't drop that thun thun
Girl turn the function up
And we gon' keep it goin'
when the hook come back along
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Av, av
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Av, av
Say if you drop it
What?
Just pick it up
What?
And grab a bad bitch
and head to the cut
What?
Say if you drop it
What?
Just pick it up
What? And grab a bad
bitch and head to the cup
What?
Say you a freak
What?
You're not a freak like me
What? 'Cause I'm a
F- R-E-A-K Yeah, that's me
Ha-ha
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Ay, don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Av, av, av
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Don't drop that thun thun
Av, av