1
During the cold war era, conflict between
West and East Block divided Indonesia.
In 1965, the bloodiest political upheaval
in the history of Indonesia happened.
People who were considered leftists
and supporters of Sukarno were removed.
Hundreds of Official Bond students
who had been sent to Czechoslovakia
were forced to acknowledge
a new government called the New Order.
It's been a year since I saw you.
Now you suddenly showed up,
and you want to borrow the house deed.
I even found out
about your divorce from Widya.
Now you know it, that's what matters.
Do you think a divorce is that simple?
Mom, I've made my decision.
It's not difficult to respect
my decision for once, is it?
As simple as your choice of college,
your decision to move out,
and to stop all contact with me.
Have I never respected your decisions?
This is a divorce!
-Larasati--
-Since when did you care?
If you need my house deed,
you need to at least hear me out
until I'm done.
How about this? Let me ask you.
What would you expect from a man
who slept with another woman
when his wife was two months pregnant?
Until I had a miscarriage.
I don't want to be like Dad.
I'd rather get hurt now
than to be tortured for life.
Hello?
I'll be right there.
Mom.
I've never asked anything from you.
Now I need your help.
I need to borrow the house deed.
I need to go now, but I'll be back.
Think about it.
Think of this as your chance
to take part again in my life.
-Good afternoon, Mr. Erik.
-Hi, Ms. Larasati.
How are you?
How's your mom?
-She's still being treated.
-I see.
Like I said before,
this issue would have been easier
if there was a premarital agreement
in the beginning.
So, I have to share all of his debts?
We can take care of the debts.
I have made the legal opinion.
What's certain is now we have to focus
on the issue of justice first.
That's your job.
If not, I would've done it myself.
Anyway, I want this problem
to be solved quickly.
All right then.
Now, let's wait and see
if everything is good.
If there's nothing more,
you may sign the power of attorney.
When can this be registered?
After you fill up the invoice
that we have sent,
we can proceed to the next step.
Ma'am, where's Mom?
-Nurse.
-Yes?
Where's the patient of Room 1352?
-Mrs. Sulastri, isn't it?
-Yes.
She was just taken to the operating room.
If I may ask,
what's your relationship with her?
DEEPEST CONDOLENCES
FOR THE LOSS OF MRS. SULASTRI
Are you okay now, Larasati?
Have you got the money for the lawyer?
My brother said he is willing to help
if you still need it.
Maybe later.
If everything goes smoothly,
it should be done by next month.
Are you sure?
-Really?
-Hold on.
Okay.
DEEPEST CONDOLENCES
Excuse me.
Larasati.
What are you doing here?
Please don't act like that.
No matter what, she was my parent too.
And I want to take her to her grave.
Yes, but I feel uncomfortable
that you are here.
You should go.
Aren't you going to wait for 40 days?
Your mom's funeral was only yesterday.
Now you ask for her will to be read?
What else are we waiting for, Aunt?
I am her only child.
-Please drink.
-Thank you.
All right.
I, the undersigned below,
Sulastri Kusumaningrum,
place and date of birth,
Jakarta, June 20, 1946.
As a biological mother,
consciously and without coercion
made this will
FOR MAHDI JAYASRI
so that when I have passed away,
the house I live in now
with all its contents
will be handed over to my only child,
Kemala Dahayu Larasati.
With an absolute term
that it will be done
after she delivers a box
with the letter in the cupboard
to the address shown,
then proved by a receipt.
So I need to get that person's signature
in order to get this house?
That's how it is.
Is there no other way?
I'm just a notary.
I was only reading what was written.
After all, the legal power was clear.
It can't be avoided.
I'm selling this house.
If you have a friend that wants it,
I'll give you a commission.
That's not the point.
The point is that you need to carry out
your mother's will.
All your trip expenses
have been covered, anyway.
It's Prague.
You can have a holiday at the same time.
Who knows you'll find a soulmate.
Let's go.
That was awesome.
Your evening performance
will be certainly successful.
The audience will be certainly fascinated.
-Thank you, Jaya.
-Thank you, Jaya.
Darn it.
Bagong?
Bagong?
Are you staying for lunch?
No, I am not.
All right. Have a nice day.
You too.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Come on, Bagong.
Wait.
Sit down.
Hey, Bagong.
Hey.
Here.
Here.
Bagong!
Mr. Jaya?
I can't accept this.
What do you mean?
I can't accept these things
and it's best that you leave now.
I can't leave until you sign this letter.
I'll call you a taxi.
You should leave now.
I don't know you.
And I don't understand why my mom
made this a condition to her inheritance.
One thing is for sure, is that
I just need you to sign this letter.
One thing is for sure,
is that I can't accept these things.
But what's the reason?
That's your business.
How is it my business?
I came all the way here
for your signature.
And now you're saying
that it's my business?
Just fake my signature.
I'll call you a taxi. Take these with you.
You can leave now. Is that clear?
There's no need.
I can look for one myself.
Good.
I'll be back tomorrow morning.
And I hope you have changed your mind.
Good night.
Hey, lady. Take these with you
or I'll throw them away.
"THE YEARNING WORDS"
Bagong.
Sulastri has passed away.
Sulastri has passed away.
Mr. Jaya.
You're such a mess.
Did you meet Suharto?
Hey, that's enough.
Did you forget what day it is?
Cigarette day.
You're old.
-You're forgetful now.
-Asshole.
I was just testing you.
To see if you pretended to forget.
You war criminal.
Here you go.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
We have so much stock.
Just got it from a friend in Jakarta.
But still, one a day.
I'll give you a bonus sometimes.
Are you an architecture
or a medical student?
You're really good
at deceiving me about health.
You, too. A nuclear science graduate,
but talks like a politician.
Yes.
You're the one who told me.
If you don't smoke, you will die soon.
Right. Here's one more.
You've been looking for this for 11 years.
The one I promised.
You said he is the Indonesian
Nat King Cole.
Life hoards memory.
Celebrating what's there
with what's not there.
In your face
I saw the moon
Hiding behind a smile
Don't leave me
Without company
I miss you
But this is the last one,
or it will be trouble for me.
EMBASSY OF THE REPUBLIC OF INDONESIA,
PRAGUE
POLICE OF THE CZECH REPUBLIC
My goodness.
You can sleep here.
If you need food, there's some over there.
And don't touch anything
that has nothing to do with you.
May I borrow a towel?
Bagong.
Come here.
Why are you late?
It's just five minutes.
Why uphold a wrong tradition?
Bagong. Hey!
Here.
What do you want?
There's a change of ambassador,
so they are closed for now.
I was asked to come back on Monday.
You can ask for one room there.
-Just ask, they'll give you.
-I was told--
I was told to stay at your place.
You're not my relative.
Then you can go in there
and tell them that.
Mr. Jaya!
I need to borrow your phone.
I need to make a call to Indonesia.
I don't understand why
he doesn't want to accept that box.
All right, I'll try to ask
for his bank account.
I'll let you know as soon as possible.
I need to borrow your bank account.
I'll lend it to you later.
I'll return every bit of money I use.
Well, you should.
Bagong.
What was your relationship with my mom?
I need to get back to work.
My apartment is at the end of this block.
-Just walk straight ahead.
-You haven't answered my question.
What was your relationship with my mom?
Why is it so hard for you
to accept the things I've brought?
My apartment is on that block.
Just walk there. It's easy.
Just straight ahead.
Mr. Jaya!
Do you always treat people like this?
Crazy man.
He's more humane to his dog
than to another human.
Here, there is the book
you have been looking for.
What is going on?
I have a little problem.
Can you help me?
Yes, of course I can.
CZECH NATIONAL BANK, MAHDI JAYASRI
Hello? Larasati?
Tata, are you sleeping?
Yes, I'm tucking Rigel to sleep.
Sorry. I just wanted to let you know
I have the bank account number.
All right, just text me the number,
I'll transfer some to you later.
"THE YEARNING WORDS"
Friends with loneliness and darkness
Arranging the heart
In the corner of the room
Dive into the meaning
That greets the heart
For the souls
Thralled by the feeling of yearning
I miss you
It's better to say as it is
If you really yearn
I miss you
Because time won't be able to side
With feelings
That are doubtful
Thank you.
Good night.
I miss you
To my beloved, Sulastri Kusumaningrum.
The old year will soon pass.
The new year will come.
What else haven't I told you?
I guess all has been said.
But I'm convinced
that none of my letters reached you.
I hope what I'm convinced about is wrong.
...the death of her father.
Like Hamlet.
November, 1989.
To my beloved, Sulastri Kusumaningrum.
Revolution has begun here.
The students overflow the streets.
So far, everything went well.
Although sometimes riot happens
between students and security officers.
You're so lucky
that you're just a dog, Bagong.
Dogs never feel lonely.
Because they only give loyalty.
Prague.
The confusing Prague.
To my beloved, Sulastri Kusumaningrum.
I've always wondered
what kind of sadness does a leaf feels
when it falls off its branch.
Charles sends his greetings to you.
He's the bird I meet every afternoon
at Old Town Square.
Sulastri Kusumaningrum.
This afternoon I ran into
a student from Indonesia.
He told me about the movements
against the New Order government...
I just remembered a story that...
Her voice was beautiful,
but her face was covered in sadness.
I'm not sure if I will keep
sending letters to you after this.
One day, at the end of winter
a dozen of years ago,
I wrote verses like this.
Friends with loneliness and darkness
Arranging the heart
In the corner of the room
Dive into the meaning
That greets the heart
For the souls
Thralled by the feeling of yearning
You really are impolite.
I've warned you.
Don't touch anything
that has nothing to do with you.
I found out who you are,
and the reason why you refused me.
That's good then.
That means I have no need
to explain anything to you, right?
You're that man.
The man who should've been responsible
for the mess in my family.
What do you mean?
You, and these letters
were the reason for my parents' suffering.
You're the cause of my dad's death!
I don't understand
what you're talking about.
Of course you don't.
A selfish person like you
will never understand.
These letters were written
not to harm anyone,
let alone kill your dad.
You've sent 136 letters
after missing for 20 years without a word!
Since I was two years old,
after my parents had been married
for 11 years.
Have you ever thought
that my mom already had another life
and your letters were too late?
They were indeed too late.
But let me emphasize once again
that these letters were not sent
to harm anybody.
She never replied,
so I kept writing again and again.
Eventually I believed,
that these letters never reached her.
"The Yearning Words" was written in 1972.
It was at least two years
before my mom decided to get married.
Why didn't you go back to Indonesia?
You're the one
who should go back to Indonesia.
It was not even my wish to be here.
Do you want to know why I refused?
Because I've already let everything be.
All of my past.
Including Sulastri.
And if I do what you want,
I would be a hypocrite.
Obviously, I love the rest of my life,
more than doing what you want!
And I brought this lunch for you,
not to be forced
to tell you why I have refused!
Did you know
that my mom was never a good mother?
She locked herself in her room every day,
without a care for anyone.
But now I understand
what kind of life my mom and dad
had gone through.
My dad lived with a woman
that never loved him.
A woman that only lived
with letters from her past!
Have you ever thought that my mom
did not reply your letters deliberately?
Not because she didn't know what to write,
but because she knew
that if she replied to you just once,
other letters that she always waited for
wouldn't come.
Don't you corner me.
If you're just forcing me to feel guilty,
I'm used to it.
But that's the truth.
Your letters should never have existed.
You don't need to try and change
the decision that my mom had made.
And your decision to become a communist,
is your business.
I'm not a communist, okay?
I opposed the New Order.
I opposed Suharto.
And because of that decision,
I lost my nationality.
I cannot go back to my homeland.
But I'm not a communist.
There are so many things
that you don't know.
Yes, I don't, indeed.
Actually, I don't care.
But now I know who you are
and what you have done to my family.
I don't feel the need to be responsible.
Opposing Suharto and loving Sulastri
were two different things.
And you tried to have both?
What did you say?
What's your name?
Laras.
Larasati, right?
I do not want to talk about the past
that I have let go.
Your arrival here
has told me many things,
so I need to thank you.
But even leaves
don't fall to the ground without reason.
I have my reasons for why I disappeared
without saying a word.
I had to disappear, to be exact.
I couldn't return to my homeland.
I could not attend my parents' funerals.
A living outcast!
And all those are not bullshit!
I've been trying to be nice to you
after everything you've been through.
You've come here
just to have my signature, right?
To get your mother's inheritance, right?
I'm definitely not happy
that a stranger wants to live at my house.
If you actually had let go of everything,
you wouldn't have refused me.
Since you have already let it go,
you just need to sign that paper,
and I will go.
But now it makes me think.
You've never actually loved my mom.
You only used the love towards my mom
as a reason for you to hide.
Where's that letter that I need to sign?
Bring it here.
You have no right to screw up my life.
Take this letter and get out of here.
Larasati.
Is he still at home?
Indonesia?
Sorry, I thought...
Can I come in?
I heard from the bar's security officer.
Mr. Jaya got drunk last night. Is it true?
If I were there,
I wouldn't allow him to drink like that.
Please tell Mr. Jaya
that I've brought food supplies for him.
Right. I also brought
his favorite coffee, from Jakarta.
I'm a bartender at the place
where he got drunk last night.
But since I had so many tasks,
I couldn't be there.
-I'm Dewa.
-Larasati.
Are you his niece?
No.
Then?
Sorry, but it's not like what you think.
Can I smoke?
Can you not smoke?
Were you at that bar last night?
It's weird. It's been...
around four years since I've known him.
But I never knew he could drink like that.
What does he normally do in the bar?
Well, usually he comes to the bar
and drinks two or three glasses
of cognac at most.
That's it, then we talk until morning.
About politics,
music, books.
Sometimes I confide in him.
I also borrow his money sometimes.
Mr. Jaya.
He's like my dad here in Prague.
Sometimes when he feels like it,
he plays the piano
and jams with the bar's band.
Sometimes he sings
and plays the harmonica.
His voice is...
really cool.
Your friend, Dewa, was just here.
He regretted not being at the bar
last night.
Why are you still here?
I still need your bank account.
When exactly will your money
be transferred?
Should be done by now.
I'll take you there.
Here you go.
Be careful, it's not a small amount.
I'm going to have lunch. You can join me.
From there,
I can call my friend's taxi for you.
I can take you to a hotel near
the Embassy of Indonesia, if you want.
Loretta.
Come on.
There is something that you need to know.
When I departed for Prague,
I made a promise to your mom
that I would be back soon and marry her.
That's the first one.
The second
is that I will love her forever.
And it turns out
fate only allows me
to fulfill the second one.
Jaya!
Your taxi is here.
I was only 21 years old at that time.
At first, it was an emotional choice.
Years went by, the regime changed.
Well, event after event
ensured me that opposing
was the most rational decision.
Well, but there were some,
among the people that opposed,
who betrayed us.
But I couldn't do that. I just couldn't.
My friend, Karsidi said,
we really were
the representatives of suffering people,
because we really were suffering.
So at that time you survived with only
700 crowns from the government here?
That's not possible.
Because you also need to eat.
You need to do laundry and stuff,
even though school is free here.
We used to do all kinds of things
back then.
My friends and I took up
all kinds of jobs.
An electrician, a janitor, a cook.
We did them all.
Since socialism was rising,
you'd go to jail if you don't work.
It was against the law,
so everything had to be done.
Well, it's sad when I think about it.
But that's okay.
A belief must be expensive.
It can't be cheap.
The more expensive, the more valuable.
You shouldn't have waited for 20 years
to tell my mom.
I was afraid...
that I would destroy your mom's life.
I was afraid
that your mom will be put in a bad light.
Put in a bad light? What do you mean?
I was considered
a Class C political prisoner
for opposing the New Order.
If I exchanged letters with your mom,
and they found out that your mom
had contact with us here...
Moreover, your mom was still young.
Involved in a romance.
It was dangerous.
She could've been punished,
sent to jail...
without trial.
I even received the news
about my parents' death
with only two words.
"Dad died."
"Mom died."
Have you ever regretted it?
I have never regretted
refusing the New Order.
I knew what I was doing.
So there's no room for regret.
If there was something to regret,
it would be
the fact that I had let your mom down.
I should've been suspicious when
I found that the box contained letters.
There was never anything
more interesting to Mom
than the sound of the postman arriving.
She was always waiting.
It was more interesting
than her child's first day of school.
My soulmate
Come close to me
I want you to know
That I adore you
You and I
Like a prayer
That ties
In my every step
I call your name
Are you done?
Why did you stop?
No reason.
What's that song called?
It doesn't have a title yet.
But did you write it?
Yes.
But until now,
I haven't managed to finish it.
You inherit the fingers and voice...
of your mom, Sulastri.
Until her death, I think she
still doesn't know I play the piano.
Now, please tell me
about your life.
In your face
I saw the moon
Hiding behind a smile
Don't leave me
Without company
I miss you
It feels so close
And easy to reach
I want to reach out
To you, high up in the clouds
In your face
I saw the moon
Hiding behind a smile
This was also Mom's favorite.
Don't leave me
Without company
I miss you
And now,
I would like to invite my good friend
who was a pianist in the Mata Hari band.
His name is Mahdi Jayasri.
Now, I will play one song,
which I...
wrote for someone
who is here tonight...
He's talking about you.
...in a different person.
Let's start.
Friends with loneliness and darkness
Arranging the heart
In the corner of the room
Dive into the meaning
That greets the heart
For the souls
Thralled by the feeling of yearning
O night, I call you
Not with revenge
Release all of the muted poetry
Then bring the greetings for the antidote
For sadness
I miss you
It's better to say it as it is
If you really yearn
I miss you
Because time won't be able
To side with feelings
That are doubtful
So, there was no other woman
in your life, except for my mom?
No.
Nobody is more beautiful
than your mom in this world.
At least for me.
Time changes many things.
Power changes, politics change.
Science changes.
Only love and music never change.
Music may not change, but love...
Love can still change.
At least in my life.
I was just thinking,
what if...
you had decided to return
to Indonesia back then?
If I had gone back to Indonesia,
most likely, you'd be my daughter.
FOR MAHDI JAYASRI
By the way, tonight I will be a host.
There's a gathering.
I need to prepare something,
if you could help.
But first I need to go
to a travel agent to buy my ticket.
All right, sure.
Hey, my horse
Run, let's run
My horse runs fast, I feel so happy,
My friends are cheerful
My horse runs bravely
Let's run
Come on, my horse, run
-Yes, that's it.
-Your wife is tall, right?
Yes. He's small,
but his girl is tall, so...
-The one that you spin?
-Yes.
And he was like...
-But he was brave.
-Yes.
There were no cowards
among the students in Ikatan Dinas.
You've got so many funny stories.
That's why I told you
that history is a source of power.
You don't need to sort your memory.
So, not all who opposed were communists?
Some were actually communists.
But the number of nationalists
were much larger.
One thing that is certain,
the majority of them
were supporters of Sukarno.
Sukarnoists.
What happened after opposing
and losing your passports?
No nationality.
The point is, we were not evacuated
because at that time,
the Czech government seemed like
they were meddling with Suharto's regime.
And we were under the protection
of the Czech's Red Cross.
At that time, the East Block
offered so many scholarships.
We departed. There were only four of us.
Got on board from Belawan, Medan.
Through the Suez Canal, we sailed
around Europe, until we got here.
-There was the birthplace of mine
-There was the birthplace of mine
-Lulled and raised by Mother
-Lulled and raised by Mother
-A shelter
-A shelter
-In my old days
-In my old days
-Until eventually I closed my eyes
-Until eventually I closed my eyes
-A shelter
-A shelter
-In my old days
-In my old days
-Until eventually
-Until eventually
-I closed my eyes
-I closed my eyes
-Thank you for coming.
-Good night, thank you.
-Bye.
-See you.
Thank you, see you.
Thank you, Sir. See you later.
I'll be seeing you again.
Please forgive those old men.
They've troubled you.
That's fine, it was fun.
I'm trying to remember those notes.
Let me try.
I fall
I fall again
For you
Only with you
I let go
All of my doubts
My heart
My heart falls
For you
My whole spirit
Fall and fall
For you
You are my last courage
My soulmate
Come close to me
I want you to know
That I adore you
You and I
Like a prayer
That ties
In my every step
I call your name
-I fall
-I fall
-I fall again
-I fall again
-For you
-For you
-Only with you
-Only with you
-I let go
-I let go
-All of my doubts
-All of my doubts
-My heart
-My heart
-My heart falls for you
-My heart falls for you
-My whole spirit
-My whole spirit
-Fall and fall
-Fall and fall
-For you
-For you
-You are
-You are
-My last courage
-My last courage
Good morning.
Thank you.
It's time to forgive everything
and return to Indonesia.
What made you think
that I would go back to Indonesia?
-Go home?
-Is there something wrong?
You're so selfish.
Do you think your presence
could change everything
that has been taken from me?
My dreams.
My life, my country, my love.
Do you think it's easy to live
as a nuclear science graduate
but work as a janitor for decades?
And get involved with a woman
whom I didn't know.
Let alone letting go of what happened,
you can't even forgive yourself.
To my beloved, Mahdi Jayasri.
Thank you for your letters
that used to keep coming endlessly.
I'm sorry that I am only replying now.
Sometimes life is full of things
that we don't desire.
And we feel as if we're forced
to get into it.
We feel like we have no choices.
Until the only option left
is our own self.
I'm also sorry to bother you with things
that you've probably forgotten.
I sent you a letter
and someone
whom you've never known before.
Her first name is Kemala Dahayu.
It means "beautiful lotus".
Just like the name you've always wanted
for a daughter.
She is a good girl.
Although sometimes
she is too hard on herself.
I often find myself in her.
One thing will definitely captivate you,
is that she is good at playing the piano,
just like you.
Better than me.
I've always wanted her to meet you.
I don't know what for.
Maybe because I feel like
I've never had a chance to explain
what has really happened.
To end all of her anger.
Larasati!
I just hope that time and journey
could heal wounds
and quell anger.
I hope your meeting with her is memorable.
With love,
Sulastri.
Subtitle translation by Dandi Amirullah