Press Room.
Okay.
Hold everything for a new front page!
We're killing the Allenbury yarn.
Hey, Mack, hold everything.
Wait for a makeover.
- What happened, Allen?
- Don't load anymore.
- Hold it, boys.
- Unload all of them.
We're trying to kill a story.
Have any trucks gone out?
- How about it, Joe?
- Number 7.
Call him back.
But he's gone.
Times Square and Columbus Circle.
Rush a motorcycle after him. Hurry up!
We've got to get those papers back.
Every one.
Pete, get on your machine
and stop truck number 7.
Okay.
Phone all the stands on that route
not to sell any papers.
Are you ringing Haggerty?
All right, all right! Try him again.
- Go to Haggerty's apartment. 52nd Street...
- I know where he lives.
Won't he be at church?
Isn't he getting married at noon?
You grab a taxi to the church.
Bring him here.
- I can't bust up his wedding.
- If we don't, it's our funeral.
Step on it! Keep on ringing him.
Don't answer it. I've had enough gags
pulled on me this morning.
Maybe Miss Benton again. I'm afraid...
You're afraid? I'm marrying her,
and you're afraid.
That's loyalty.
She say before, "If you're late,
she going tear down church. "
Even that won't stop it.
No, Ching, I promised I'd meet her
at the altar at the stroke of 12:00.
And there'll be no reprieve
from the governor this time.
- I hope you'll be very happy.
- Yes, said the spider to the fly.
- Very pretty.
- I'm the groom, not the bride.
Take my advice, Ching.
Don't ever get married.
Maybe not so bad, Mr. Haggerty.
My mother and father, they get married.
You're kidding.
Here's to the last mile.
A merry marriage
and many happy comebacks.
Mr. Haggerty!
- What's wrong?
- You're wanted at the office right away.
Good old governor. Good old office!
Run to the church
and tell Miss Benton I've been delayed.
It's awful to bust up your wedding.
Never mind the wedding.
Something break?
- The story they had to kill.
- What story?
The London correspondent
cabled last night.
A swell story on the Allenbury girl.
Connie Allenbury? What kind of story?
She was mixed up
in some scrape at a garden party.
Tried to steal another girl's husband.
- Not Connie Allenbury?
- Yes, sir.
All right, what happened?
Jackson cabled this morning.
It was all a mistake.
It was somebody else.
She wasn't at the party.
And we printed the story?
Holy mackerel! Come on.
Wait. You said not to stop for anything...
but you've got to have your pants.
Yeah, yeah. I gotta have my pants.
Can't I stay away for one day
without somebody pulling a boner?
You call yourself a newspaperman.
Where's your nose?
- My nose?
- Yes, your nose!
That thing fairly reeks of alcohol!
Jackson was drunk.
You got to smell things like that.
You don't need any brains.
All you need is a nose!
- I knew the boss hated her father...
- And her father hates us!
He'd blow us up,
and you hand him dynamite.
The one girl that we should handle
with kid gloves...
and you spread her name
over the front page! What?
- What'll we use for a headline?
- I don't care.
"War threatens Europe!"
- Which country?
- Flip a nickel!
Yes, sir.
The boss is here. He wants you right away.
Does he want me or my job?
Have you got a drink?
There's a fresh bottle on your desk.
I thought you'd need one.
I'll need it, and how.
I knew I'd find you
with a drink in your hand.
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
What? Didn't Ching tell you?
Yes, Ching told me, and I told him,
and now I'm telling you.
I won't stand for it.
You can't do this to me, Warren Haggerty.
Not to me!
First it was a fire at sea.
Then it was a kidnapping.
- What's the gag this time?
- Darling, there's no gag.
- The newspaper's made a mistake.
- So has little Gladys.
Engaged to a newspaperman.
Joe Simpson never treated me like this.
- Then why did you divorce him?
- I've asked myself that many times.
Gladdie, after all, you got no kick.
I haven't?
First, you said a trip to Bermuda.
- You went to Bermuda.
- But alone. Then it was Europe.
If I wait another year,
it'll be Little America. I won't.
- I tell you, I can't get away.
- It's not Europe. It's the church.
It only takes 20 minutes to get married.
- But, Gladdie, the trip.
- I'll take Battery Park.
I'm going to take you
on the greatest trip a girl ever had...
just as soon as we settle the suit.
Nothing doing. For two years
I played second fiddle to this paper!
But the boss is waiting for me.
The preacher's waiting, too. Get your hat.
I can't go...
the paper's in a jam!
We're facing a libel suit!
You're facing a breach of promise suit!
If you don't want to marry me, say so!
Gladdie, you're getting yourself
all upset, darling.
- A little drinkie, maybe?
- Not today I don't.
Today, I get married!
- Well, I...
- Didn't they say I wanted to see you?
Say, what is this?
Do I own a paper or a lunatic asylum?
- You just took the words out of my mouth.
- Mr. Bane, my future wife.
Nonsense! I'll be in my office!
Get rid of this woman!
Take it easy, that's the owner of the paper.
I don't care who he is. Nobody talks
to me like a house detective.
How do you know
how a house detective talks?
Don't you think I read? Where are you...
No, you don't. If you think that you can...
Gladdie, darling.
Now, you tell the preacher to wait...
and I'll phone you just the minute I'm free,
and we'll get married today.
Now, that's a promise.
Tomorrow at this time,
you'll be a married woman.
I swear to it. Joe, come here.
Will you show Miss Benton to a taxi?
And this is supposed to be
the happiest day of a girl's life.
Yes, ma'am.
Why doesn't London answer?
I want J. B. Allenbury.
This is terrible, Haggerty.
- A mistake like that can ruin...
- What do the lawyers say?
An open-and-shut case. Pure libel
and slander. We haven't a leg to stand on.
And now, I've got to get on my knees
to Jim Allenbury...
a man I fought for 20 years,
never giving an inch.
They're ready with London, Mr. Bane.
Wait a minute. Let me talk to him.
You know how he hates you.
I'll take all the blame.
You know nothing,
not even that I'm phoning.
- Then if I fail...
- You mustn't.
Tell him it was just a mistake.
Maybe he doesn't know anything about it.
Only 50 of those papers got away.
Hello? Hello, London? Yeah, we're ready.
Hello? Hello, Mr. Allenbury?
This is Warren Haggerty of the
New York Evening Star.
You know the Star?
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way
about us, Mr. Allenbury.
Yes. I realize that we've
fought in the past...
but it's always been a good, clean fight.
No. Nothing serious.
But the early edition of the paper
carried a little item about your daughter.
Not that the item was serious at all,
but I just thought I'd phone you...
Yes. Yes, that's it, exactly.
The spirit of fair play.
I appreciate that spirit of fair play,
Mr. Haggerty...
but you see, my office cabled me
a copy of your little item.
What?
Yes, indeed.
Hardly what I'd call innocent...
but typical of Hollis Bane and everything
that his newspaper stands for.
No, I'm not interested, Mr. Haggerty.
You can discuss that with my attorney.
Now, hold on a minute.
This is Charles Archibald,
of Archibald, Davis, and Wingert.
We're filing suit immediately
through our New York office.
- You'll receive the papers tomorrow.
- Just a minute, Mr. Archibald.
Don't forget to mention
the amount we're suing for.
That should interest them.
By the way,
you might inform your Mr. Bane...
Miss Allenbury
is asking damages for $5 million.
$5 million.
She's insane, she's mad.
There never has been
a libel suit for $5 million.
There ain't that much money.
She's got all the money in the world now.
It's not money they're after.
It's the paper. It's me.
For 20 years, I've fought Allenbury.
Kept him out of the senate.
And when they wanted
to make him ambassador, I stopped it.
- $5 million.
- Their chance to strike back, and they are.
The paper will go.
Look what a lawsuit did to
New York Daily last year.
That's not going to happen to us.
We haven't begun to fight yet.
We've been sued before, big suits.
They were after money
and were glad to settle.
Allenbury will settle, too,
when we get through with her.
Remember the Farrell girl?
That was open-and-shut,
till we got busy on her.
You can't do that here.
There's never been a word of scandal
about Connie Allenbury.
Not yet, but she's human
and I'm gonna throw a man at her.
You're not suggesting a frame?
No. But we've got to get to this girl...
and I'm gonna bring in
the best man we ever had.
Who's that?
A guy that will beat
anybody in the world...
from Gandhi to Garbo. Bill Chandler.
Bill Chandler? Yes.
Now, you fired him,
the best man we ever had on libel.
- You admit it, and you fired him.
- Yes, and I'd do it again.
He was a conceited, double-crossing heel.
Tried to run the whole paper.
- Thought he knew more about it than I did.
- And was right.
He's the only man
who can swing this case.
Get him!
I'll have him here in an hour.
Long distance.
New York calling Mr. Adams...
of The Chronicle at Washington, DC.
All right, put Haggerty on.
Hello, Haggerty. This is Adams of
The Washington Chronicle.
Chandler left here over a year ago,
headed for Denver.
Try The Courier.
Sure, I know him.
Chandler left Denver four months ago.
And the boss's wife
almost followed him to San Francisco.
That guy is dynamite.
He worked here, but he wasn't with
The Express two weeks...
when he quit and left San Francisco.
One of the girls here received
a Christmas card from Singapore.
Anyone in this great settlement knowing
the whereabouts of William Chandler...
will please communicate
with station ZHM, Singapore.
Keep the lines open. If anything comes in,
let me know. I'll be here.
He left Singapore three months ago.
How about Australia?
I can try Sydney.
He was always crazy about the races.
Okay, but rush it. Send another SOS
to the syndicated press...
and cable London and Berlin.
- Do anything, but find him.
- Maybe that guy's dead.
It would be just like him
to die at a time like this.
Hello.
In case you don't know it, it's 2:00
in the morning, and I've been asleep.
What do I do? Put the dress
in mothballs for another trip?
Change it for a straitjacket
and order one for me.
- You ought to get some sleep, boss.
- No. This coffee will fix me up all right.
I press suit up quick.
Maybe you try him again this afternoon.
- Throw him in the nearest ashcan.
- One trail leads to Sydney.
The other one to Shanghai.
Both report the whereabouts
of Bill Chandler unknown.
Call up that detective agency,
see if they can find him.
Chandler? You mean Mr. Chandler...
- the fellow who used to work here?
- Yes.
- I know where he is.
- What?
Sure, he's a good friend of mine.
Just last week,
he gave me $10 for my mother.
- She's been sick.
- What's his address?
He's at the Grand Plaza.
The Grand...
No, that can't be the Chandler we want.
Don't you mean Bill Chandler...
who was always giving you the raspberry?
Yeah! That's the fellow!
Tell the cable office we found him.
- Right under my nose!
- Shall I get him?
No, I want to talk to him personally,
feel him out a little.
So he's living at the Grand Plaza.
He must be in the money.
Warren Haggerty.
From Brooklyn to Bombay...
a stab in the back spells Haggerty.
I never stabbed you in the back,
Chandler, and I want...
After all, that was a long time ago,
and we should...
Bury the hatchet. Or was it a knife?
- Now get this, Chandler, I didn't knife you.
- You only tried to.
That was two years ago. We should...
- Let bygones be bygones.
- Why, sure. Whatever happened...
Is all over now. Goodbye.
It was nice to see you.
Good morning. Cigarettes, please.
Give my regards to the boys at the office.
You still at the Star? Old
man hasn't gotten wise to you yet.
Soon, you'll be out on your ear...
then the Star will
be a first-class sheet.
Listen here, Chandler. If you're...
By the way, what are you
doing for yourself, Bill?
I just finished writing a book, Warren.
All about my early hardships,
the newspaper business...
and the rats I met running about.
- If you mention me in that book...
- Sue me for libel.
How is the libel these days?
You got a good man on the hush stuff?
Yeah, we get along.
Where did you go when you left us?
The intelligence department, Warren.
I always did like contrast. Cheerio.
- What's your hurry?
- Breakfast time.
- It can wait. I got an idea.
- I'll take breakfast.
I want to talk to you.
Warren, you weren't like that when I left.
- This is a proposition.
- Not before breakfast.
- I haven't got time for breakfast.
- That's too bad. Goodbye.
- Good morning, captain.
- Good morning, sir.
- Table for one.
- Table for two.
Very well, sir. This way, please.
- More coffee, sir?
- No, thanks.
Now, Warren, what's on your mind?
I've been thinking, Bill. After all,
you're a darn good newspaperman.
Maybe I was a little hasty when I...
You don't mean to give me back my job?
- That's it.
- Wait a minute.
You want to talk business?
All right, I'll talk.
You're in a jam over the Allenbury girl.
You printed a hot story
and she's suing you.
- Who told you?
- Elementary, my dear Watson.
I read the story. First edition only,
carried by no other paper.
That, says I,
is the fine Italian hand of Haggerty...
the bull in the china shop.
- What's she asking?
- $5 million.
Who does she think she is?
Just one of the richest girls in America.
Yes, I know all about her.
Title-crazy, with a fatheaded
old father to buy her in and out.
America's international playgirl.
That's her rep...
and she thinks it's worth $5 million.
When I get through with her,
she'll take five cents.
- Done. You're on the payroll.
- No, Warren. No philanthropy.
During the six months that I was on the
Star, I saved you, all told...
some $300,000. What did I get?
$125 a week.
That's the proposition, drawn yesterday.
I've been expecting you for 24 hours.
$5,000 down and $45,000 more
when you... Why, you're crazy.
No other reporter gets
that much money. It's robbery.
All right. Forget it.
You read any good books lately?
- Now, be reasonable, Bill.
- Take it or leave it. Wait a minute.
On second thought,
I don't want the job at any price.
I got all the money I need right now.
Look here.
I just got this from my publisher...
offering to advance me
$5,000 for a second book.
- Let's just forget about this.
- Now, wait a minute.
You ought to be arrested for extortion.
You must have dropped this, sir.
- What is this?
- That is a letter.
I get it.
So your publisher is going to send you
a $5,000 advance?
$700 behind with the hotel, you mean.
- Not now, I'm not.
- I knew I was a sap to believe...
That's right, you were.
But you'll get your money's worth.
Now, here's the plan.
Allenburys are in London.
So I sail for England at once.
But they're coming back in 10 days.
That's why I'm sailing,
to come back with them.
Five days on a boat.
Anything can happen on a boat.
I meet the girl.
Perhaps she comes to my cabin...
- No. Not this girl.
- Only for a cocktail.
Perfectly innocent to her, me,
and everyone on the boat.
Except our private detective,
who radios my wife.
- You got a wife?
- No. This is a setup, not a confession.
But we hire some attractive girl
to marry me...
and when the time comes...
she stages a pretty little scene
over her erring husband...
and sues Connie for alienation of affection.
That's it, that's it.
The Star called Connie a
husband-stealer. She denies it.
We duplicate the situation.
This time, she does steal a husband.
This time, we're right.
Let her go to bat with a libel suit
and see what she collects.
But how about a girl to marry you?
Do you know anybody?
Now, that's tricky.
We've got to find someone we can trust.
I've got the girl, the very girl!
Hello.
What happened to you?
Do I want to get married?
What do you think?
I'll call the preacher right away.
The city hall?
Then I can't wear my wedding gown.
I won't ask any questions.
And don't keep me waiting.
Tiny? Tiny, come here.
I'm so happy. Today is my wedding day.
What, again, Miss Gladys?
You can't do this to me,
Warren Haggerty. Not to me!
Let me out of here.
For two years, you've had me
on a merry-go-round...
waiting for that gold ring,
but this is where I get off...
- and stay off!
- Be quiet.
I won't be quiet!
The things I've taken for that newspaper...
but this gets the blue ribbon,
trying to marry me off...
to that baboon!
Let's not deal in personality.
But, darling, it's only for a month,
maybe less.
Then six weeks in Reno.
And, Miss Benton, they've got
the loveliest place in Reno.
You'd love it.
You can play craps there every night.
That's right, that's right.
I'll come the moment you get divorced.
But I don't want a divorce.
I want to get married and stay married.
If you don't want to marry me, say so.
Of course I want to marry you,
but don't you understand, Gladys?
This comes first. It's our only chance.
I'll get fired.
There isn't a newspaper in the world...
that would hire me as an office boy.
Would they, Bill?
- Not if they know you like I do.
- What do you mean?
You remember poor Ed Glover?
You remember after he lost that libel suit?
They found his car gone over a cliff
and a revolver in his hand.
- Do you want me to kill myself?
- Did you change your insurance?
Would I ask you to do this thing for me...
if I didn't consider you
practically my wife?
Would you ask your wife
to hook up with that ape?
The ape objects.
Darling, you're not marrying him, really.
A wedding ceremony,
six hours in a hotel apartment...
during which time I'll never leave you,
and then he leaves for Europe.
- Don't talk to me. I'm leaving.
- Wait a minute. I'm leaving. The deal is off.
Here's your contract. $50,000.
- I wouldn't hook up with her for $1 million.
- Now, Bill, you know the spot I'm in.
That's your tough luck.
You'll have to get a new boy.
- You mean you're walking out on him?
- That's it, sister.
You know what the Star means to him...
you're a newspaperman. You know.
It'll ruin his life. It'll ruin his career.
A fine friend you are.
- If you put it that way.
- I'm putting it that way.
- Good. I'll get the guy.
- The things I do for that newspaper.
"And I pronounce you man and wife. "
Aren't you going to kiss the bride?
Yes! Sure.
May I?
Why not?
Everybody else seems to be doing it.
Aren't you going to kiss me?
Sure, sure.
An old friend of the family.
Yes.
Darling.
Very old friend.
I hope you'll be very happy...
and don't forget to invite me
to your silver anniversary.
It'll have to be within the next six weeks.
Goodbye, and good luck.
Goodbye. Good luck to you.
- Take his arm.
- I'm taking your arm.
Yes.
Send it up, and send a waiter, please.
Right away? Thanks.
That's the wire you sent me.
There will be a bellboy and a waiter
to witness the very tender scene...
when we learn that I'm called to Europe.
Now, remember, won't you?
You're all broken up.
He is torn from your arms,
the bridegroom of an hour.
- That's too long for me.
- To my little bride.
I hope you choke on it.
- Darling.
- Don't call me that.
You know what my name is.
- Of course, Mrs. William Chandler.
- I'd just as soon have a number.
- Come on, now. You mustn't fight.
- Why not? We're married.
You're supposed to be happily married.
You're supposed to be crazy, in love
with each other.
I must have been crazy to let you
marry me off to another guy.
But let me tell you this, Warren Haggerty.
From now on, you've got
to forget the paper and take me places.
I can't take you places,
you've got to stay in the apartment.
You can sew, sleep, and play the radio.
- Maybe you could learn to read.
- You're not going to take me out?
Honey, I can't take you out.
You can't be seen running around
with another man.
You're supposed to be married.
You've got to look married.
Maybe twins would help.
Now, remember, remember.
- Yes?
- Telegram for Mr. Chandler.
- Just wait. Clear the table, please.
- Yes, ma'am.
Bill, there's a telegram for you.
Thanks, sweetness.
Would you open it for me, honeykins?
Bill.
- What is it?
- Read it.
- What does it say?
- It's from the office.
"Imperative you sail Queen Anne
tonight for director's meeting in London.
"Reservations arranged.
Anderson will meet you. Bon voyage. "
You can't leave me.
Bill, you mustn't leave me!
Baby, this is terrible,
breaking into our honeymoon like this.
But what am I to do, honey? I'll have to go.
You can't.
It's only for a couple of weeks,
Mrs. Chandler.
But a couple of weeks
are a couple of weeks!
- I'll miss my little Billikins.
- And I'll miss my little fuzzy-face.
I'm afraid you'll have to hurry
if you're gonna make that boat.
Yes, that's right. Here, boy.
Just take my grips here.
These leather ones are mine.
Sure was a lucky thing
that I didn't unpack.
Waiter, thank you very much.
Darling, I'll miss you every minute.
Every second!
Hold it. They've gone.
Save it for the elevator.
- Well, for the...
- Here comes the elevator.
The bride and groom.
Darling, I'll miss you every minute.
Every second.
Goodbye, old man.
He's gone.
The maid.
Why, he'll come back, Mrs. Chandler.
- How do you do, Mr. Chandler?
- Hello.
- Sailing back with us so soon, sir?
- I only came to London for three days.
- If there's anything I can do, sir.
- Thank you.
Everything is set.
Palmer's gonna take the smack.
Fine. Tell the boys to lay it on heavy.
Here they come. Beat it.
I'll see you on the boat.
Boys. Here they come now.
Chandler says lay it on heavy.
Mr. Allenbury, excuse me, sir.
There's been a bit of a mix-up
on your baggage.
- Come with me.
- Shall I attend to it?
I'd better go with you, Graham.
Wait here, Connie.
Will you make a statement for the press?
Are you suing for 1 million?
- What are your chances of winning?
- I've nothing to say.
Miss Allenbury, you must be able to
tell us something.
- No, nothing.
- Surely, you'll make a statement.
Will you please let me go?
- You can't afford to ignore the press.
- Can't I?
Turn her around, Palmer.
Take your hands off of me!
Watch the dicky bird, ducky.
Just a minute.
Obviously, the young lady
doesn't wish to be photographed.
That's none of your affair.
Now, clear out, all of you!
Hello.
Connie, are you all right?
Yes, dear, I'm all right.
This is an outrage.
You men ought to be arrested.
We'll fix him.
That was William Chandler, the author.
- Remember that name, Graham.
- Yes, sir. William Chandler.
I ought to have charged that blighter
10 instead of 5.
Come in.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
Mr. Allenbury's compliments.
Will Mr. Chandler join him
for cocktails before dinner?
- Mr. Allenbury?
- Mr. J.B. Allenbury.
The lady you rescued from those reporters
today is Mr. Allenbury's daughter.
Yes. I'll be delighted to have cocktails
with Mr. Allenbury.
- 7:30, the Grill Room bar.
- 7:30. Thank you.
- You rang, sir?
- Yes. Steward...
do you know if they have any
books in the ship's library on angling?
- Angling, sir?
- Yes. You know, trout fishing?
Yes. We have several.
Shall I fetch you one, sir?
Yes, just bring me all of them.
- All of them, sir?
- Yes.
The best rainbow-trout fishing
is found in Lake...
Taupo. Lake Taupo, New Zealand.
The best rainbow-trout fishing
is found in Lake Taupo, New Zealand.
Lake Taupo.
The best rainbow-trout fishing
is found in Lake Taupo, New Zealand.
Now, the best rainbow-trout fishing
is found in Lake Taupo, New Zealand.
Yes.
Mr. Allenbury has been delayed
by a ship phone call from America...
- but he asked that you order. Do sit down.
- Thank you.
We appreciated what you did
this morning. Most unfortunate.
- Here's Mr. Allenbury.
- Sorry to be late, Mr...
- Chandler.
- Chandler. Have you ordered?
- A dry martini, please.
- The same.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
- Did we hear from the bank?
- Complete accounting.
And Jennings, shall he meet you
in Washington?
No, he'd better come to New York
and fly down with me.
That's the only time that I'll have.
Be sure that the plane is ready.
- It's ordered for noon.
- Good.
Now, young man, I want to thank you...
for what you did this morning,
both for my daughter and myself.
- Quick thought on your part.
- I rather enjoyed it.
As a matter of fact, newspapers and I
are not very good friends.
One time in Chicago,
I sent a reporter to a hospital.
- My publishers never forgave me.
- Publishers?
Yes. I'm a writer.
Indeed?
Just now, I'm doing some fishing yarns.
Really?
Yes.
Well, Father?
Connie, my dear, I wasn't...
- I want you to meet Mr...
- Chandler.
Mr. Chandler.
The man who saved your life.
Yes, indeed. Thank you so much.
I thought you were with
those people from Plymouth.
I ran out on them. I simply can't be
bothered with people you meet on boats.
I'm glad that we met on the dock.
- A mint frapp.
- Yes, miss.
I should apologize for the scene I caused.
Waiter, never mind. I won't have any.
Mr. Charmers...
- Chandler.
- Mr. Chandler is a writer.
How amusing. What do you write?
Father, guess who's with us.
Mrs. Burns-Norvell,
and that dreadful daughter of hers.
We elude them in Europe,
and now we meet them on the same boat.
Now we're in for it.
They'll be asking us to dinner.
Not if we see them first.
I've been ducking them all day.
Are you having fun, Mr...
My plane. Father, did you
cable about my plane?
- Leave it in storage. I've chartered one.
- But I want my own.
I'm dying to feel the stick
in my hands again.
Do you fly, Mr. Charmers?
Chandler. Oh, yes, I've...
I've flown across with Lindbergh
a couple of times.
But my favorite sport is fishing.
Sorry, Mr. Allenbury, it's 7:30.
Thank you for joining us.
If ever we need your help again,
I hope you'll be on hand.
It's been so nice to see you.
Good evening.
Here they are, Mother.
Connie! Connie, my dear!
We've been looking for you
all over the boat.
My dears! It's so nice
to see you both again.
Bert will be so pleased
that we're crossing together.
- How are you, Mrs. Burns-Norvell?
- And you're joining us for dinner.
I won't take no.
It's my birthday, I'll be 21 at midnight.
- I'm very sorry.
- No, no excuses.
We'd love to, but you see, Connie...
I'm sorry if I'm late, J.B.,
but I had to send a very important wire.
Shall we go in to dinner now?
- Yes.
- We're dining with Mr. Charmers.
Mrs. Burns-Norvell
and her daughter, Barbara.
How do you do?
Can't we all have dinner together?
- They're going to talk business.
- Yes.
You see, I'm a writer...
and Mr. Allenbury and I
are doing a book together.
But too wonderful!
You must tell me all about it tomorrow.
- I'm always up for lunch.
- Yes.
Well, we're indebted to you again. Thanks.
That was fast thinking.
I suppose we'll have to have
dinner together now. Shall we?
Three, sir?
Father, you're in luck.
Your favorite fish, brook trout.
Do you care for trout?
Do I care for trout?
The one thing in the world
that I care for is trout...
in any shape or form.
Especially on the end of a line.
You're an angler?
I'm on my way now to Glen Arden...
all set to prove they'll rise
to a Parmacheene Belle.
No, not this early.
A Royal Coachman, perhaps.
Or maybe a Pink Lady by visible,
but not a Parmacheene Belle.
- I've caught them.
- Not at Glen Arden.
I know. I've fished Glen
Arden. I've tried it.
Father...
shall we say trout?
What a sport.
To feel the trout on your line...
to play him, to reel him in.
- There's no thrill in the world like it.
- Just one that beats it.
When you first see him.
Not yet on your hook,
but rising to the bait.
I stand corrected.
I remember once, in the high Sierras,
I was using a Wickham's Fancy.
- No, a grizzly wing.
- Father...
for two hours we've had nothing but fish.
My dear, I was only telling him
about my trip to the Sierras.
Perhaps you'd like to dance? Shall we?
- Did you ever fish the Rockies?
- Have I?
Fisher Falls. Gluckman's Point.
Gluckman's Point?
I'm afraid that dancing
isn't exactly my line.
I should say it was part of your line.
- May I be frank, too?
- Why not?
You dance superbly.
I was hoping for something original.
Dear, life is so full of disappointments.
- Sorry.
- Just the lurch of the boat.
Afraid I wasn't concentrating.
It was your eyes.
Beautiful, aren't they?
They remind me...
Yes, I know.
Sparkling diamonds, deep sapphires.
No, they remind me of angry marbles.
Connie, darling! You must have
luncheon with us tomorrow, promise?
I've a bone to pick with you.
I'm afraid I...
I'm sorry, but we can't work
on our book without Connie.
She's our inspiration.
I thought that was rather clever.
Yes. I thought you thought so.
Don't I get a vote of thanks?
Oh, by all means.
It just dawned on me
that I seem to have made myself...
a permanent member of your party.
Yes. It's dawned on me, too.
Shall we sit down?
So, you've fished Gluckman's Point?
You're an angler, all right.
I should say Mr. Chandler
is quite an angler.
Will you both excuse me? I'm quite tired.
- See you tomorrow.
- I think not.
I'm staying in for the rest of the trip
with a dozen good books.
- You're not ill, my dear?
- Oh, no.
That'll give you a chance
to talk fish till New York.
I could talk fish from here to Shanghai.
Couldn't you, Mr. Chandler?
Yes, yes, and back again.
- Good night, Dad.
- Good night, dear.
Good night, Mr. Chandler.
Don't keep father up
too late with your fish stories.
Gluckman's Point?
Glasses?
How do I look?
Nobody in the world will know you.
Fine. That's the idea.
Catching up on your reading?
Remember me?
Oh, yes. I just left Father.
He's enjoyed his three-day fish fest.
So have I.
- He's waiting for you.
- He won't mind waiting.
You don't know Father.
You know the man. I know the angler.
It's nice you have so much in common.
I won't detain you.
Goodbye, Mr. Chandler.
Goodbye.
You've got to help me.
I'm in a bit of a jam
with the Burns-Norvells.
I've been trying to duck them,
but they finally caught me.
Cocktails and dinner tonight.
How nice. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
Wait a minute, now.
It's your turn to come through for me.
After all, I inherited them from you.
I'm going to tell them
that you and your father...
will also join me for cocktails
before dinner.
Mr. Chandler, you think of
the sweetest things.
Now when the Burns-Norvells arrive...
- you come in without your father.
- Father gets all the breaks.
And announce that he wants
to see me right away.
A brilliant idea for our book...
and that we'll have to work
the whole evening.
See, could you do that?
Good, then cocktails
in my stateroom at 7:00.
- In your stateroom?
- Yes.
You see, the bar is
too near the dining room.
Oh, I see.
- Your stateroom at 7:00?
- That's right.
- Splendid.
- All right. Until then.
7:00. She'll be alone
with me in my stateroom.
Give us about 10 minutes.
Swell. How did you manage it?
She thinks I've invited
a lot of other people.
How do you do? Are we late?
Late?
So sweet of you to send
a message by Connie...
asking us to have cocktails with you.
She asked you to...
She said that you were
too bashful to ask us yourself.
Where is Miss Connie now?
- We needn't worry about Connie.
- We forgot to tell you.
Connie isn't coming.
She has another headache.
Mr. Chandler? Where are you?
- Hello.
- The inevitable Mr. Chandler.
- How was the cocktail party?
- Delightful.
So sorry I couldn't come.
I trust the Burns-Norvells consoled you.
I found them very charming.
Far superior to many people
one meets on boats.
Yes. Babs is one girl in a million.
And so rich, too.
- Or didn't you know that?
- At least she has good breeding.
Then...
- Everything went off all right?
- Oh, yes.
In fact, I'm glad now that you didn't come.
You are?
Why this change of heart?
You're so fragile.
- Fragile?
- Yes, you damage so easily.
- Damage?
- Sues for $5 million.
That fascinates me.
Asks $5 million damages.
- So the Burns-Norvells told you.
- It gave me a new light on you.
Who is this marvel, I said,
Florence Nightingale? Jeanne d'Arc?
What has she done to earn
such a precious reputation?
- Found a cure for death and taxes?
- Aren't you being a little absurd?
- Aren't you?
- Wait a minute, you don't understand...
Do be careful. It might break.
I'm not accustomed to handling
anything so delicate, so valuable.
That should be touched only by royalty,
dukes or earls.
As a matter of fact,
you should be kept under glass.
And that is the last I saw of Miss Connie
until we reached New York.
Five days on a boat,
and she slaps your face.
- That's fine progress.
- So the wonder boy lays an egg.
- Would you hush your girlfriend?
- Say, listen, nobody's hushing me.
I've got my ticket to Reno,
my reservations at the hotel...
- and even my lawyer.
- Postponed only.
A million-to-1 we'll never see them again.
You lose. He's already invited me
for a weekend of fishing.
Just you and the father?
What do I do, bust in on you
and the old man?
Connie will be there.
I'll take bets on that, too.
That wasn't any farewell slap.
- When?
- We're driving up tomorrow.
Perfect. Alone in the mountains,
away from the world.
The next night, Gladys and I...
No. I'd better stay in the background.
- Just Gladys.
- What, alone?
And a detective.
Connie rushes from her room.
You come from yours, follow her down.
- What'll I wear?
- Flashlights! The case is in the bag.
Nice work. I knew you'd deliver.
I think I'll wear the pink.
I look awful cute in pink.
- There's only one hitch.
- Hitch?
- Fish.
- Fish?
I've told him fish stories
that would curl your hair...
and I've never even had a rod in my hand.
- I'll have an instructor here in the morning.
- In the morning?
Him? Here? Where am I supposed to be?
Now, it'll be all right, Gladys.
- You're gonna leave me here alone?
- I'm here.
It'll be all right.
It's just a business arrangement.
It's mighty funny business, if you ask me.
Where are you going?
To get some bedclothes.
I'm sleeping out here.
You see, it'll be all right.
Bill out here and you in there.
Do you mean to tell me
that you're willing for me, your fiance...
- the girl that you love...
- Please.
I've done plenty for you
and the Star...
but there's a time to draw a line,
and I'm drawing it.
I trust Bill like he was a brother.
Yeah, but he isn't my brother.
He can't even speak politely.
- He insults me with every breath he takes.
- Pipe down. You'll hurt his feelings.
Bill, I'll have that fisherman here
the first thing in the morning.
The first false move, I'll leave.
Unless I'm cuckoo,
I'll be out before midnight.
It'll be all right, darling.
Good night, Bill, good night.
- Good night, darling.
- Good night, old man.
Hello?
Flowers?
On the way up?
Oh, yes. Thanks.
Open the door, will you?
There are some flowers on the way up.
We gotta get these bedclothes out of here.
Hurry up!
I've lost the keys.
Good morning.
Where did you get that key?
The front-door key always fits both doors.
- You mean that key was there all night?
- Naturally.
- For Mrs. Chandler.
- Of course, just wait a minute.
For me, Billikins?
Yes, my little fuzzy-wuzzy.
They're lovely. Thank you, sugar pie.
How did you know white roses
were my favorite flowers?
What?
Haggerty sent those.
Haggerty never sent me flowers before.
No? It's all part of the plan.
I'm gonna get some breakfast.
I thought the plan was to stay here
and look married.
- If you don't mind.
- I don't mind if you don't mind.
I don't mind if you... Who started this?
What do you want for breakfast?
Breakfast. You know, fruit...
Will you have some more coffee, Bill?
No.
This certainly looks married,
a little too married to suit me.
I'm sorry. Here, have a piece.
- Try the funnies.
- No, I wanna talk.
You do?
Well, all right, let's talk.
- Who goes first?
- I'll start.
You are a strange egg.
- I bet you say that to all the boys.
- I'll get it.
- Good morning. Mrs. Chandler?
- Yes.
I'm Evans from
the Angler Supply Company.
- I've bought some supplies.
- Bring them right in.
And this is Mr. Chandler.
Good morning, Mr. Evans.
I've brought everything, a complete outfit.
You'll have no trouble learning
to fish with this equipment.
No, sir. The elbow low and close.
Muscle has nothing to do with it.
It's the natural spring of the rod, sir.
Too bad I'm not fishing for curtains.
I'd be sensational.
Now suppose you break your leg,
then you can stay home.
That's what I call constructive.
I was just trying to help.
Now, a little patience, sir.
Try again. And remember...
- the elbow low and close.
- Low and close.
Bull's eye! Give the gentleman a cigar.
I don't quite seem to get it.
It's your wrist, sir.
Keep it easy and fluid...
like rippling water. This way, sir.
Darling, don't you want
to powder your nose or something?
And miss this?
Not for the world, sweetheart.
Pretend there's a 5-pound beauty
in yonder pool...
just behind the jutting boulder.
Mrs. Chandler, would you mind stepping
down here to the corner of the table...
- and bending over?
- Now I'm a jutting boulder.
I'll be a tall, spreading
tree just behind you.
Don't forget the wrist.
Remember, there's a man on second.
I know I'm never gonna get this.
I was never cut out to be an angler.
Look, this is the way I would do it.
- You did it, sir.
- I'll say he did it. And how.
That cast, sir. Why, not one angler in 50...
can master the underhand stroke.
- Underhand is right.
- You mean it's all right?
It's perfect, sir. Could you do it again?
- Not with this boulder, he can't.
- Like a backhand at tennis.
- Perfect, sir.
- Yeah?
This is what makes life worth living.
A breath of this early morning air
is worth all the medicine in the world.
Certainly is.
We're not keeping you up, are we?
Me? No. I'm always up
at the crack of dawn.
Here we are, Chandler. My favorite spot.
How do you like it?
Fine, splendid.
Very much like the Lake Taupo country,
New Zealand.
Go ahead, we'll give you the first cast.
Yes.
I tell you. I think I'll go on up the way...
where the ripples are faster
and the brush is sparser.
This is going to be good.
I still bet he can't fish.
Nonsense. He's the best-informed man
on angling I've ever met.
- Father, darling, you're a sucker.
- Now listen to me, young lady.
I know a first-class angler when I see one.
Yes, and a first-class man, too.
- If he's first-class, I'll travel steerage.
- What did you come up here for?
You had a weekend all planned in town.
I didn't want to see my favorite father
tossed to a wolf.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about that.
He's after something, and it isn't fish.
Look at those new togs.
A new rod.
Watch this.
Great guns!
I take it all back. He's good.
Good? He's magnificent.
I wish I could master that underhand cast.
I've got one.
A beauty.
So have I. I've got his brother.
Another one!
Not having much luck, are you,
Mr. Chandler?
I'm surprised you're not catching
any fish, Mr. Chandler.
It won't be long now.
I wonder if Mr. Chandler's having any luck.
Don't worry about him.
He's a real outdoor man.
Dad, look!
Walleye! He's hooked Walleye!
But he'll never land him.
He'll never land him.
Reel him. No.
Let him play. Give him some line.
Reel him out. Reel him.
Here, hold his head up.
Don't net him.
Don't net him. You did!
Boy, what a beauty.
- How'd you do it?
- I just followed the book. The hook.
Walleye. You've got Walleye.
- Who?
- Walleye.
The biggest, most elusive trout
in Glen Arden.
We've been fishing him for two years
and you got him.
- It was nothing.
- Nothing, you say?
But I'm ashamed of you, spoiling his sport
with a net.
Nine-tenths of the fun is reeling him in.
I know. I'm sorry. I was so excited.
Unhook him.
- What?
- Yes.
- Unhook him.
- Yes.
That is, no!
You invited me up here,
so you should have some of the glory.
- So you unhook him.
- I don't like to spoil your fun.
No. That's quite the contrary.
There's plenty of glory to go all around.
It's mighty sporting of you
to let me do this.
Not at all.
I think a toast is in order,
if you don't mind.
Hear, hear. To Walleye, king of trout.
How have the mighty fallen.
Undone by a Parmacheene Belle...
and I thought his weakness
was a Pink Lady.
Another batch coming up.
Say, you certainly have a way
with the griddle!
- She's a remarkable girl.
- I'm beginning to think you're right.
- I resent the understatement.
- Just a spoiled brat.
- Service.
- Yes, sir. Coming up.
Bulls eye!
Never miss. Queen of the flapjacks.
- Father?
- I must think of my figure.
A 20-minute walk, if you can spare me,
then eight hours of sleep.
- But we need help, Father.
- No more for me.
Where's my pipe? Alex?
Imagine, you and a flapjack.
How'd you ever get together?
And they laughed at me
when I sat down on the griddle.
I still think it's a trick.
Nothing in my hands.
Nothing up my sleeves.
I know. It's all done with mirrors.
Young man, there are many sides
to my nature.
Depths you'd never dream of.
- I'll make a study.
- Do.
- How'd you like a swim in the moonlight?
- Swim?
Later on. You do swim?
Yes. Almost as well as I dance.
Then you'll drown.
- Isn't it awfully cold?
- Extremely. Do you mind?
What, me mind? My intimates call me
"Polar Bear" Chandler.
We're only 20 miles from the place.
We'll be there in 45 minutes.
But I'm not supposed to show up
until midnight.
What's the difference? You'll bust in
on them a half an hour earlier, that's all.
You'll find cigarettes over there
under the lamp.
Thanks.
- Say, you're pretty palatial up here.
- Like it?
- I think it's grand.
- I always come down for a plunge.
I've even stayed here all night. No, thanks.
- What? Here, alone?
- Yes, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Pretty neat.
I like music with my moonlight.
You know, you're a funny kid.
That's what you seem like up here, a kid.
Very different from
the girl I met on the boat.
I feel different.
This place, it's all tied up
with my childhood.
The trees, the air, the water.
Even the frogs.
I'm mad about frogs.
I love it. We've always
had heavenly times up here.
Every minute completely filled, like today.
- Yes. It's been perfect.
- It has, hasn't it?
Almost too perfect.
And it's costing me a fortune, young man.
What?
I'm paying dearly for this day of fun.
Meaning?
It's my own fault
for daring to bet with Dad on men.
I'm a rotten judge of men.
Well, aren't we all?
I bet him a new plane that you'd
tip your hand in the first 24 hours.
It's rather sporting of your father
to back a dark horse.
Dad's a grand judge of character.
He placed you right away.
Impetuous, friendly,
enthusiastic, guileless.
Guileless?
Not so sure about that.
What's your analysis?
Well, I said it first on the boat.
Just another fortune hunter
chasing $50 million on the hoof.
Then?
And then you told me off
for being fragile...
but I still said, he's got something
up his sleeve he wants to sell.
An oil well, an invention,
or an emerald mine.
The last young man we took on
had an emerald mine.
And will you believe it,
I even bet you didn't fish?
And you lost.
"Live and learn, Connie, my angel," I said.
"Next time, don't bet on men. "
What are you thinking?
I haven't hurt you, have I?
I didn't mean to hurt you.
It was just my way of saying
I hope we can be friends.
That's about the nicest thing
that's been said to me this lifetime.
- Friends?
- Yes, please.
Then you do forgive me?
Don't apologize for suspecting people,
Connie. Keep right on.
Ring every coin you meet.
There are lots of wooden nickels
in circulation.
Come on.
No, I want to talk.
You're the first person in years.
You're in for it, my lad.
The story of my life.
The kitten who died when I was six,
and my great-aunt Matilde...
and all those twisted newspaper stories
you read about my romances...
and why they weren't romances.
There aren't going to be any more
twisted stories.
What do you think a paper
could make of this?
And couldn't they just?
You, me, here alone on a raft?
Single note of the chime
indicates exactly 11:00.
11:00. Lights out.
And who are you, Cinderella's brother?
- What happens at the stroke of 12:00?
- You'll never know. I hope.
- Come on, I'll race you.
- All right.
Connie Allenbury, you've taken from me
the one thing in the world I love...
my husband.
- How is that?
- Great.
- Next week, East Lynne.
- You just don't appreciate art.
- Look, what's that?
- What?
It's a holdup.
- Chandler.
- What the...
Why, Bill.
I had to stop you before
you got to the lodge.
- She's gone.
- What?
You mean we aren't
gonna finish it tonight?
She only came to put the place in order...
- then she went right back to town.
- Why didn't you call?
They don't have telephones
in trout streams.
I'd better go.
Somebody might see you here.
Aren't you going with us? Move over.
I can't disappear
in the middle of the night.
What a lady-killer you are. One look
at you and the gal disappears.
Say, don't worry.
Rome wasn't built in a day.
It didn't cost $5 million, either.
We had a nice, long ride.
What are you talking about?
We can't miss.
- The setup is perfect.
- The setup is crazy. We haven't a chance.
At the end of the 10th round, it's a draw.
The girl was there in the mountains?
- But only for one night.
- One night is enough.
You told your wife you'd been
called to Washington, remember?
Yes, like it was yesterday.
Yeah, but you lied.
You didn't go to Washington.
You went to Allenbury Lodge
for a rendezvous with Connie.
Our private detective
will swear he followed you.
- But her father was there.
- That was a blind.
- She left the following morning.
- Sure. A guilty conscience.
- You're insane.
- What a mind.
Now I know where you get those
stories about working nights.
Then you come home,
you're indifferent to your wife.
You're cold to her, you fight with her.
It's as neat a case
for alienation of affection...
as I've ever seen,
and we slap it on tomorrow!
- No, we don't.
- Why don't we?
Because you can't get away with it.
They'd throw that case out of
any court in the world. You, too.
Not if I wear blue.
I'm awfully appealing in blue.
A: I was Allenbury's guest, not Connie's.
B: I was never alone with her. C...
- I know the alphabet.
- But you haven't got a leg to stand on.
Take it easy, will you?
I'm getting a real in with the family...
and I'm developing an open-and-shut case.
We're gonna file suit tomorrow.
Be at Britton & Britton's office at 9:00,
and I can catch that noon edition.
You'd make your crippled grandmother
do a fan dance for that paper.
Now, Gladdie.
Wait a minute.
Give me one week and I guarantee
to put her in a real spot.
Not a chance. She's walked out
on you twice already.
You know, Bill, I'm beginning to think
you've lost your touch.
- Goodbye, Gladdie. Don't be late.
- Aren't you gonna kiss me goodbye?
Well.
That's Warren for you.
Crazy about me,
but boy, how he conceals it.
- What's the matter with you?
- I just can't make him out.
I can understand
he's tossing me to the dogs for the paper.
- But to do it to the girl he loves...
- Who's tossing whom to what dogs?
If he goes through with this
in the morning...
by tomorrow night, we'll all be in jail.
- Jail?
- Jail.
I don't get you.
It's the plan we've had right along.
Yeah, but we haven't enough evidence
to convince a backward child.
If we spring this, the Allenburys are bound
to smell a frame-up!
- Do you really think so?
- I'm sure of it.
But to think that he'd do this to you.
A beautiful girl who loves him,
who's doing everything in the world...
Believe me, kid. You've put up with a lot.
You know, you're one girl in a million.
You don't know the tenth of it.
You wouldn't believe the things
what I've stood for.
I know.
The first night I met the guy,
he stood me up for two hours.
For what? A woman in Jersey
had quadruplets...
and it's been that way ever since.
I know. It's tough.
Fine, sensitive girl like you.
That's love for you.
- The things I could tell you...
- I'd like to hear all about them.
- Let's have a bite to eat.
- All right.
- You dance divinely.
- Thanks.
There have been complaints.
Then you must have been out
with amateurs.
I hope Warren won't mind
our dancing like this.
What? Him.
After all, it's perfectly innocent. Just fun.
Sure. Certainly a girl can dance
with her own husband...
- and you are my husband.
- Yes, quite.
Besides, this is our last night.
What do you mean?
If you're going to file suit tomorrow...
I'll have to move out of here
to prove that we're alienated.
- You know, I'm gonna miss you.
- I'll miss you, too.
- You're a swell kid, Gladys.
- You're not such a cluck yourself.
I hate to see you get mixed up
in that mess tomorrow.
Look, you don't want me to file that suit,
do you?
No, I don't. For your own sake.
Then I don't. I don't start anything
until you tell me to.
It'll mean a row with Warren.
It won't be the first one.
Let's dance some more.
It's pretty late. 2:00.
I could dance all night with my Billikins.
My little fuzzy-wuzzy's got to
get some sleep though.
You're kind of cute when you say that.
So I'm going to say good night,
Mrs. Chandler.
- I'm off to get some air.
- Air?
Yes, I haven't been able to sleep
for the last two or three nights.
Must be insomnia.
I can fix that. My father used to have it.
When he did, I'd rub his head
with cologne, like that.
I'll go get the cologne.
It isn't that kind of insomnia.
You know, different people
respond to different things.
Some people respond to rub-a-dub
on the forehead. Others drop off to music.
Now, me...
- I'm a horse's hoof man.
- A what?
A horse's hoof man.
That's what it takes to put me to sleep.
The sound of a horse's hoof. Hoof, hoof.
You know? Hoof, hoof.
Good?
Are you amenable to reason?
Then you will come to my charity bazaar.
No.
You turned me down for the horse show.
But I ride with you every morning.
You scorned my bid to a concert.
But I strum my guitar
'neath thy window each eve.
And now you refuse my invitation
for tomorrow night.
But I'm dining with you and Father
this evening.
It's your last meal, my lad.
I'm beginning to tumble.
I do very well for the back streets...
but you're ashamed
to be seen with me in public.
Certainly. A gal who smears
mustard all over her chin.
Thanks.
- Beautiful now?
- No, just clean.
Stop turning my head.
Now, for the purpose of the record,
what time will you arrive at the bazaar?
Once and for all,
I am not attending the bazaar.
Bill, what is it?
What is it?
It is a horse.
Let's stop clowning.
There's something wrong.
- Tell me. What is it?
- I can't.
Why? Please.
I swore I'd never mention it again.
The libel suit?
What's that got to do
with your coming to my party?
Plenty.
Connie, drop the suit, will you?
I know you feel that the paper
hit you deliberately.
Of course it was deliberate,
to hurt my father.
- So you're striking back.
- And you think I'm heartless.
No, just foolish.
You think you're gonna end all publicity...
but instead, you'll be smeared
over every paper in the country.
And I don't care, because...
Let's not go all over it again.
You asked for it.
That's why I won't be seen with you
in public.
All you need now
is one more good scandal.
Why is there any scandal
in my being seen with you?
Because you're in the public eye
more than ever.
If the gossip columns link your name
with a man's now...
don't you see that it's going
to make you light, cheap?
You're taking this
much too seriously, darling.
- After all, it's my fight.
- And that makes it mine.
You're sweet.
If I had $5 million,
I'd give it to settle this thing.
Shall I drop it, Bill?
- Will you?
- I'll tell you tomorrow at the party.
Now you'll have to come.
How about the Athletic Club? Try the Yale.
Try it again! I've got to get him!
Two hours late.
This guy is driving me mad.
He hasn't seen her in 10 days.
I can't make it out.
It's not the old Chandler.
Hello? Try his apartment.
No use.
Mrs. Chandler was calling from there.
She's looking for him, too.
- Didn't you tell her I was here?
- She wanted him.
She's afraid he's offended at something
she said this morning.
She wanted to apologize.
Gladys wanted to apologize?
He was to meet her at lunch
and didn't come.
She's afraid there was an accident,
wanted us to try the morgue.
She never tried the morgue for me.
- Say, what's going on here?
- Maybe he's working on the wrong girl.
Working on the...
What are you talking about?
After all, she's his wife.
She may be his wife,
but she's engaged to me!
The boss wants to see you right away,
Mr. Haggerty.
Yeah. All right.
His wife.
What about this fellow Chandler?
I thought he was supposed to be clever.
He's clever, all right.
A lot cleverer than I thought he was.
What are you talking about?
He hasn't seen
this Allenbury girl in 10 days.
Do you call that being clever?
Great scott, man.
We've got to do something,
do you realize what this means?
More than you know.
It's your business to find out
what he's been doing.
That's just exactly it.
I'm going to take
the matter into my own hands.
I'm going to see
Connie Allenbury personally.
What makes you think
you'll get in to see her?
Mr. Bane, when I was a reporter,
I'd get into places...
that even a second-story man
couldn't break into.
All right, try it. Make her see.
Appeal to her reason.
She has none. This is Connie Allenbury,
international playgirl...
the spoiled daughter
without a brain in her head!
But I know how to handle her kind.
I'm gonna throw myself on her mercy
and appeal to her heart.
I'm going to give her all the sob stuff!
You know, Miss Allenbury,
this situation has outgrown a petty fight.
We've got to consider
the humanitarian aspect.
I must appeal to your social conscience.
Thanks. I didn't know your paper
thought I had one.
Now, now.
If you go through with this case...
it's going to throw 500 people
out of employment.
Men and women, jobless,
walking the streets...
women like yourself,
tired, cold, and hungry.
- Driven to drink and ruin.
- You write the editorials, don't you?
Yes. Now, I know what you're thinking.
You're saying to yourself,
it's not my fault if people starve.
- It's the fault of the paper.
- Isn't it?
No, it's my fault, it's my mistake.
And all my life I shall be faced
with the knowledge...
that I have wrecked
the lives of 500 people.
That's all I care about, Miss Allenbury.
Those poor, unfortunate souls.
After all, they shouldn't suffer for...
You're right, they shouldn't suffer
for your mistakes.
Miss Allenbury. Thank you.
I knew you'd feel this way.
- They must be taken care of.
- Heaven bless you, Connie. Miss Allenbury.
And you, too, for calling it to my
attention. I shall see to it personally...
that the whole $5 million
goes into a trust fund for them.
You mean you're gonna
go ahead with the case?
I must, to get the $5 million.
Now I shall push it doubly hard.
Now I have a cause.
But the paper will go under. It will fold.
Yes, I know,
but you said that was secondary.
The main thing is to take care of
these poor men and women.
Yes, I know, but there
are other considerations.
Is there anything in this house
for a hungry man?
- Yoo-hoo.
- Hello, my sweet.
Excuse me.
- Hello, darling.
- Hello.
Dear, Mr. Haggerty of
the New York Star.
Mr. Chandler.
Well, not William Chandler, the writer?
Yes, I'm William Chandler.
He writes travel books.
That takes you to a lot
of interesting places, doesn't it?
Yes.
Of course, it's all in the day's work.
I'm just becoming familiar with your work.
Yes?
I thought perhaps
you might do something for our paper.
It'd be a little change
from what you're doing now.
I'm afraid that I'm pretty full up.
- Up to your neck, I suppose.
- I object. No more work.
- Do sit down, Mr. Haggerty.
- Thank you.
I only see him now once a day.
Connie, you mustn't exaggerate.
If we must be factual,
twice a day sometimes, maybe three.
You'll give Mr. Haggerty
the wrong impression.
After all, he's a newspaperman.
- Don't worry about impressing me.
- And besides, he's not a columnist.
He didn't come to discuss gossip.
He came to discuss the case.
Yes, the case. By all means.
- Yeah, that's right.
- And it's all settled.
You mean you're dropping the suit?
No, but thanks to Mr. Haggerty's
social conscience...
all of the employees will be taken care of...
with the $5 million I shall
win from the Star.
That was all he cared about,
wasn't it, Mr. Haggerty?
Absolutely all. And now that you've
been so generous...
I think I'll say thank you and run along.
Please don't hurry.
You spoke of other considerations.
They really don't matter at all.
Just so long as those poor men
and women don't starve.
You've taken a great load off my mind.
- Have I?
- Yes, indeed.
I don't think there's
another thing to discuss.
There certainly is not.
I'm Warren Haggerty, the managing editor
of the New York Evening Star.
I know. The butler told me you were here.
- He'll show you to your car.
- Then I won't keep him waiting.
And you can tell your owner,
Mr. Hollis Bane...
we're not entertaining anyone
from his yellow rag in this house.
I'll make it a point to tell him.
You're entertaining no representatives
of the Evening Star.
Thank you. Good night.
Miss Allenbury, good night.
It's a surprise, Mr. Chandler,
but a great pleasure seeing you here.
Hello? Hello, Gladys?
Yes.
What?
You just saw him there a minute ago?
He's been seeing her every day?
Sure. He's been protecting her.
He's in love with her.
That's why he's stalling us.
But we got him now, and the case, too.
How long will it take you
to get to the Allenburys'?
A half hour? Perfect.
Sure, he'll be there.
He can't get away.
He was just going in to dinner when I left.
Thattagirl. Tear the roof off.
And get in touch with me at the office...
as soon as you've done your stuff.
Right. Bye-bye.
By this time tomorrow,
I'll be dining on shipboard.
- What? Where do you think you're going?
- I'm having dinner with my publisher.
He's sailing on the
Victoria tomorrow, the 8th.
Today is the 8th.
No, tomorrow is the 8th. Friday the 8th.
No, Bill. Today is Friday.
Today?
- What?
- Of course. Friday the 8h.
This is terrible.
He has a contract waiting for me to sign.
I've got to see him.
What time does the ship sail?
- 11:00, from Brooklyn.
- You can make it.
- I'll drive you in.
- No, you finish your dinner.
I have my own car here.
I'm so sorry. This is terrible.
Mr. Chandler's apartment, please.
And would you rush it?
Yes?
Don't you "Hello, Gladdie" me,
Bill Chandler.
So you were having dinner
with your publisher.
You've been handing me a line
of pretty talk for the past 10 days...
and all the time
you've been seeing Connie Allenbury.
You can't do that to me.
Don't forget you're my husband...
and I'm telling that
to Miss Allenbury tonight.
Now, Gladys, that doesn't sound like you.
I don't blame you for being upset,
but I can explain everything.
Will you meet me
at the Paradise Roof in 20 minutes?
All right, I'll meet you.
But nothing you can say will stop me...
from telling that Allenbury gal tonight.
Remember that.
Here's the headline proof
on the Allenbury yarn.
Swell, elegant, magnificent.
We'll write in the gory details
when we hear from Gladys.
What's keeping her? It's after 12:00.
The old man's probably trying to bribe her.
Say, that'll make a swell subhead.
"Rich father tries to bribe wronged wife. "
I wonder where that
skunk Chandler is now.
He probably ducked
to China or Africa or something.
Hello, Warren.
- Where have you been?
- Dancing.
- What did you say?
- Dancing.
You know...
You mean you didn't go
to the Allenburys'? You didn't...
- No, we decided against it.
- Why you...
Self-control, Warren.
Very important for a man your age.
Here. Throw this out. Go on.
Now what have you got
to say for yourselves?
- Don't shout, Warren. We're not used to it.
- Are you going to tell me what happened?
You'd better tell him, Bill.
His blood pressure...
Yes. Perhaps you're right.
Warren, what would you say if I told you...
that I had almost persuaded
Miss Allenbury to drop the case?
I'd say you were a dirty,
double-dealing liar, and I'd be right.
I won't stand here
and listen to you being insulted.
Come on, Bill.
Is that so? Wait. Listen to this.
Not four hours ago,
I heard your two-timing Romeo...
whispering sweet nothings
into the ears of Connie Allenbury.
What do you think of that?
Bill told me all about it. That's technique,
Warren. You wouldn't understand it.
Why didn't you tell me
you were seeing Connie Allenbury?
Sure, and have you spoil
all my good work...
as you did tonight, barging in...
just as I'd about convinced her
to drop the case.
We didn't need any charity from her.
All Gladys had to do
was bust into the house.
As Bill says, and have you
smear our names all over your paper...
you headline hunter.
Believe me, this way is better and cleaner.
Tomorrow evening, the Allenburys
are giving a party. I'll be there.
Go right ahead, Bill. I trust you.
And what's more, I'll get her to drop
this case, once and for all.
That is, unless you decide
to barge in again.
You're so obvious, Warren.
Why can't you be subtle, like Bill?
Are you gonna listen to him or me?
I'm going to listen to Bill. He knows best.
How do I know
that you can get Connie to drop the case?
You'll have to take my word for that.
That's good enough for me.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe this is the best way.
Now you're talking sense.
All right, go ahead.
I'm sorry I blew up, old man.
Think nothing of it.
Now you see how silly it was
to get excited, Warren.
After all, I do want you boys
to be good friends.
- Come on, Bill. Good night, Warren.
- Good night.
- Good night, old man.
- Good night.
What's up?
That low-down, conniving rat...
making Gladys believe
he's in love with her.
- He won't get away with it.
- How are you gonna stop him?
I'm going to wash up the Allenbury case
and Mr. Chandler with it.
Gladys may be eating out of his hand now,
but before I get through, she'll be biting it.
Here, son. Tell Douglas to print up
one copy of the evening edition.
Put that item at the head
of the society column.
- One copy?
- That's what I said.
Our circulation is certainly falling off.
I'll be right back.
Gladdie!
What are you doing here?
Can't a girl have any privacy?
I had to see you. I got great news.
It better be good,
bursting in on me like this.
It's about Bill. Say, I certainly had
that guy all wrong. He's a wonder.
Congratulations. When did you come
out of the ether?
I was a sap to ever doubt him.
He just called me a minute ago.
Told me he's getting Connie
to drop the suit tonight.
Then off he goes on
an around-the-world cruise...
ending up at the altar...
spliced to an eight-figure fortune.
What a man.
What are you talking about?
You know he's got those Allenburys
right in the palm of his hand.
"It seems the charity bazaar
at the Allenbury house tonight...
"is something in the way of
a farewell party.
"J. B. Allenbury and his attractive
daughter, Connie, are sailing...
"for a four-months, around-the-world
cruise on the S.S. San Ramone.
"Accompanying them on this cruise
will be Connie's current favorite...
"William Chandler.
"Do we hear wedding bells?"
- How do you like that?
- Let me see that paper.
I have to run. Just thought
you'd like to hear the good news.
Somebody get me out of here!
Get me out of here!
Have a photographer
at Allenbury's home at 9:00.
- There's gonna be fireworks there tonight.
- Right.
Step this way for the great game of skill.
Darto. Throw a dart
and win a beautiful prize.
$1 a dart, and cheap at half the price.
Woo lady luck at the wheel of chance.
Pick the winning number
and win a priceless prize for the lady.
Come one, come all.
Look, ring the neck of a bottle
and win a baby doll.
No trick, no deception.
Pure, unadulterated skill.
Yes, sir. How many?
Where's Connie? I must see Connie.
I'm so anxious to tell her
about Mr. Chandler's wife.
- Mr. Chandler's wife?
- Yes.
You know Chandler, the fish man
on the boat? We met his wife.
A most amazing creature.
But nonsense. He's not married.
We never dreamed he was married.
He didn't look married
and he certainly didn't act married.
The married ones never do.
I'm sure there's a mistake.
No, there isn't. We saw him this afternoon
coming out of the hotel.
We called him, both of us,
but he was getting into a taxi.
Let's have a drink.
I had to run half a block,
trying to make him see me.
But he'd gone. So we went into the hotel
to leave a message.
The clerk asked
if we wished to speak to his wife.
I said, "Naturally. " He said that
she was in the beauty shop.
We saw her. My dear, she's a case.
A psychopathic case.
She was in a booth, and she kept
screaming, "Let me out of here!"
Before we could speak to her,
she rushed past us.
Look, there's Connie
and Mr. Chandler now.
All ready. Hold still, please.
Why, grandma, what big muscles
you've got.
The better to sock you with, grandpa.
Hold still.
You wait here. I'll get them.
We'll make a party of it.
Waitress. Mary,
champagne cocktails for five, please.
I'll be right back.
Queen of the air.
Now, now. One at a time, please.
Connie, I must see you.
What is it, dear?
I can't talk to you here.
- But Bill...
- He'll keep.
Thank you.
Connie?
I've been robbed.
Driver, can't you go any faster?
I can, lady, but the cab can't.
Now, what is it?
I haven't seen you this worried
since I stole your favorite fishing rod.
Connie, how much does
Chandler mean to you?
- Not jealous, are you?
- Are you in love with him?
Terribly.
More than I ever dreamed
I could care for anyone.
You're sure?
I'm sure. Why? You like him, don't you?
Of course.
Then what are you
being so mysterious about?
What is it, Dad?
The Burns-Norvells say he's married.
I don't believe it.
You know the Burns-Norvells.
I'm afraid it's true, Connie.
They've even met the woman.
No. I don't believe it. I won't.
Now, Connie, please.
And yet it explains so much.
Why we've always had to meet alone...
It's hideous suspecting him...
- and yet...
- We've got to know.
- Roberts?
- Yes, sir.
- Ask Mr. Chandler to come here, please.
- Very good, sir.
- But let me ask him, Dad.
- No, Connie.
Please. It's my problem.
Let me handle it my own way.
You're sure you don't want me to...
You'll ask him point-blank
so that he can't misunderstand?
Yes. I'll ask him
so he can't misunderstand.
Go on, darling. I'm all right.
And so the flying princess,
tired of this Earth...
flew back to her home, the moon.
- There isn't any princess.
- No?
There isn't any moon.
Just Connie. That's all right with me.
Say, I'm glad you ducked out.
It's much nicer here.
Bill, there's something I've got to ask you.
Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
It's just...
I don't know where to begin.
What is it, darling?
We've had such fun together,
such happy times.
But, Connie, darling, what's the matter?
What's happened?
There's a question.
Well?
It's the most important question
I'll ever ask.
Just answer yes or no, but don't explain.
If it's no, don't explain.
Well, go ahead.
Wait till I catch my breath.
Bill, have you been proposed to much?
Have I been what?
You know, proposed to?
Your hand in marriage.
Well, not enough to turn my head.
- Why?
- I'm asking you to marry me.
What?
- Is that the question?
- Yes.
Will you marry me?
Well, Connie...
Will you?
What do you think?
- When?
- When?
Now?
Now? You mean soon?
I mean now, tonight.
Tonight?
- Will you, Bill?
- Will I?
Is there a preacher in the house?
- Not here. We'll take the car. We'll drive...
- To the moon.
- Awfully glad you've enjoyed it.
- Thanks to you.
- Pardon me, Mr. Allenbury.
- What is it, Roberts?
There's a person here who claims to be
Mrs. William Chandler.
She wants to see
Mr. Chandler immediately.
Where is she?
I took the liberty of asking her
to wait on the terrace, sir.
Thank you, Roberts. I'll see her.
Good evening. I'm Mr. Allenbury.
Yes? I'm Mrs. William Chandler,
and I can prove it, too.
- You'll have every opportunity to do so.
- I'll say I will.
I want my husband. Where is he?
Your husband will be returned
to you intact, Mrs. Chandler.
Just as soon as I can find him.
- I'll go with you.
- No.
I think it would be wiser
if you stayed here.
- So, you're afraid I'll make a scene.
- On the contrary, I'm looking forward to it.
I'll bring your husband to you directly.
- Follow that roadster.
- I got it.
Perfect. Don't lose them,
and try to get pictures.
- Right. I won't lose them.
- I'll be getting the special edition ready.
William Stevens Chandler.
Ever been married before?
Not to speak of.
My wife will be the witness.
She'll be down in a minute.
Here she is now.
- Are they sober?
- I think so.
This is love, not liquor.
Join hands, please.
William, do you take Constance
to be your lawful wife...
to have and to hold, in sickness
and in health...
to love, honor, and cherish...
- Did you get Gladys on the phone?
- Sure.
What did you say?
That I was looking for you
with some important information.
- And?
- She fell like a log.
She asked me what information I had,
so I dropped the bomb.
I told her I was driving by the Grand Plaza
and saw Connie and Bill go in.
On investigating, I found they'd been
assigned to suite 805 and 807...
as man and wife.
- What did she say?
- What didn't she say?
You know, I've been thinking...
that was a justice of the peace
they called on.
- Maybe he really did marry her.
- How could he? He's got a wife already.
- I know, but...
- There's Gladys now.
Okay, buddy.
We're off to the races. You wait here.
So?
- Gladys, this is a surprise.
- I'll bet it is.
I'm sorry to break into your little party,
Miss Connie Allenbury...
but this man happens to be my husband.
This is the lady I told you about,
a Miss Gladys Benton.
- "Mrs. William Chandler" is the name.
- Yes. How do you do?
- I said, "Mrs. William Chandler. "
- I've been looking forward to meeting you.
- Bill's told me so much about you.
- He told you about me?
Yes. Won't you sit down?
No, you don't.
You're not getting out of here!
I'm not leaving.
I just don't want Warren to miss anything.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Could you hear all right,
or shall we start over?
Hello, Mr. Haggerty. Do come in.
So nice to see you. Let's all sit down.
Yes, let's.
What are you doing here?
- Naturally, she didn't expect you.
- I didn't know he was out there.
This has nothing to do with you
or your newspaper, so you keep out of it.
As Mrs. William Chandler, I demand...
There must be some mistake.
You see, this is Mrs. Chandler.
- What?
- What?
Yes. And has been for a whole hour.
- Yes, we were just married.
- Have you gone crazy?
If you think you can excuse this
by pulling a marriage gag...
But we are married. Really.
Yes. I always carry
our marriage certificate right with me.
- They're married, all right.
- But that's arson.
You mean it's bigamy!
What a story.
Connie Allenbury marries bigamist.
Print that in the paper, you'll have
another libel suit on your hands.
- I'm not a bigamist.
- You married me, didn't you?
- That one doesn't count.
- What are you talking about?
About a certain Mr. Joseph Simpson,
your lawfully wedded husband.
What are you trying to hand me?
I've been divorced...
You got your divorce in Yucatn, by mail.
Three years ago,
all Yucatn divorces were declared illegal.
I found that out yesterday
in the Hall of Records.
I also consulted my attorney.
Then you and Gladys
were never really married?
- That's right.
- But I made an honest man of him.
Dear, don't forget the letter.
Yes.
This is from Mrs. Chandler, for you.
Warren, she was so touched by your pity...
- for your 500 starving employees...
- You've dropped the suit!
- But I...
- Connie. Miss Allen... Mrs. Chandler.
How can I ever...
I just can't thank you enough.
Connie Allenbury marries author.
What a story! What a scoop!
Mr. Haggerty, you've forgotten something.
- Yes. My hat. Excuse me.
- Your hat and Mrs. Simpson.
Mrs. Simpson? Gladdie, of course.
That "Mrs. Simpson" gets me, Gladdie.
I've got to run along to the office.
You phone me there in the morning.
Just a minute. You want a real scoop?
I'll give you one!
I found out my Yucatn divorce
was no good...
so I got a second divorce
from Joe Simpson in Reno.
- What?
- What?
- Then, we're not...
- I don't believe it.
Then try the Reno Hall of Records.
- But...
- That's quite right.
Now where do we all stand?
Let's all sit down
and talk things over quietly.
You and I will have plenty of time
to talk this over on our world cruise.
I'm sure Miss Allenbury won't mind
turning her ticket over to me now.
Ticket? World cruise?
What are you talking about?
You're getting all excited.
Now come along...
What about this?
- It's nothing, Bill.
- Yes, what about this?
I can explain that thing.
I had to use it as a little gag...
So it's just one of your little gags
to get me here!
I'm here, all right.
Before I'm through,
you'll all be sorry you ever saw me.
You were all terribly smart, weren't you?
You were all building up
to a nice happy ending.
Haggerty wins his case.
Chandler wins his girl.
Where do I stand?
I'll tell you where,
right behind the eight ball.
You thought it was a lot of fun, didn't you,
making me fall for you?
Well, I did fall.
But I'm picking myself up,
William Chandler.
You can't fool me any more with your
hoof, hoof, hoof...
or your insomnia or your publisher.
You're a pretty poor sample of a husband.
But nobody else is gonna get you,
not if it kills both of us.
- Now look, Gladys...
- You're 10 times worse than he is!
At least he had some excuse
for kicking me around.
He was in love with another woman.
But you double-crossed me
for the sake of a newspaper!
Marry the paper and be the proud father
of a lot of headlines!
That's all you're good for anyway.
I suppose this is all very distasteful
to you, Miss Allenbury.
You're not accustomed
to hearing the truth.
You've had money to protect you
from it all your life!
You spent your entire life
buying anything you want.
My husband isn't for sale.
You can't buy him at any price!
- Will you let me go?
- You can't walk out on me like this!
Gladdie!
Wait a minute. Wait.
Let me handle this.
You two diplomats have done enough.
- I'm afraid it's locked.
- Then please give me the key.
- Not yet. I want to talk to you.
- I've talked enough.
Right. Now it's my turn.
- You can't offer me money...
- I wouldn't think of it.
Pleading won't do you any good.
- I'm sure.
- What else is there to talk about?
- You.
- Me?
I've a pretty fair notion
of what you've been through.
- What do you mean by that?
- Any woman can be starved by neglect.
The little attentions
Bill paid you seemed so much greater...
because you weren't getting them
from Haggerty.
The only time he sent me flowers,
he signed it "Bill. "
Exactly. He probably never noticed
the clothes you wore...
never told you how
lovely you looked, the way Bill did.
That's right. How did you know?
Women can't fool women about men.
- You don't want Bill.
- Oh, no?
I know you've got him now,
in name anyway.
But I have his love.
You can't build a life
on hate, or a marriage on spite.
Marriage is too important.
- Mine only lasted an hour, but I know.
- I'm not gonna listen to you!
A fine mess you made of this,
and all because you tried to steal Gladys!
I wouldn't steal Gladys
if she were the last female on earth.
Female? That does it!
You can't stand there and insult Gladdie.
You've had this coming for a long time.
Yes, and I've been looking forward to it!
- We'll settle it right now!
- With interest.
I don't love Warren Haggerty.
I'll never love him!
I never want to see him.
I never want to hear his name! I hate him!
- They're fighting!
- Warren!
Wait a minute!
Don't be a sucker.
You hear who she is calling?
Now, are you satisfied?
Say, I got an idea.
She'll feel sorrier for you
if I punch you in the nose.
Warren, darling!
Why, Bill!
I treated you terribly
and now you are hurt.
It's my fault, darling.
I'm just a mug, Gladdie, but I love you.
Let me see.
You're bleeding!
You big coward, you must have hit him
when his back was turned.
How dare you?
Are you all right?
What is this? What's going on here?
Hello, Father.
I got your telephone call. What's this?
Now be calm, please.
- I can explain everything.
- You'd better explain fast!
- You mean to tell me you married him?
- Yes, Father.
- Who is this woman?
- That's Bill's wife.
What?
Quiet, will you please be quiet!
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