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Life Is Sweet (1990)
Alright Suzi
are you ready? Just a little bit that way darling, that's it Ok after four One, two, three, four Stretch Yeah Round, stretch #You make me feel so happy# That's a good girl Lucy #You make me feel so good# #You make me feel like dancing# #And I'm losing control# #You make me feel electric# #You make me feel a babe# #So why don't you invite me# #On a holiday# #Happy happy happy holidays# Get your legs up Stretch right up like you're stretching for sweets on the top shelf #Happy happy holidays why don't you take me on a holiday with you# Come on, enjoy yourself Hands on your hip like that Yeah that's it and the other one Now wave with both hands Right That's it Very good, come on Laura you can be leader now Right out here stick to the edges that's right Let's have a bit of a bum swing from you Above your heads come on hands up Oh swing those bums That's it and you're doing that cleaning your mums windows Alright and then you see your best friend So your shouting out Hi it's me, I'm here Say hi Say it's me I'm here Give me a five pound note I want to go and spend it on sweets I thought that would get you smiling I thought you would like that Come on who's going to be the leader now then Right come on then Time to go home Not too much of a rush now I don't want you tripping over Right get your coats and shoes outside as usual Alright do you want to put your little cardigan on Suzi? Eh put it on 'cause you might get a little chill You've got your sleeves inside out Get your coats now If you can't reach your bags I'll get them down That's it put your cardy on hope your headache's better soon Alright bye darling bye My bags next door Your bags next door? Alright don't worry Who's is the green coat? Come on Isn't it hot? Gorgeous Tell you what Andy, your lucky I'm not in the hospital What? That door swung back an nearly took me head off again It's the hinge isn't it Yeah it's that catch, it's gone I'll have a look at it later It's lethal Oh I wish you would do something with this porch I will do It's embarrasing Just got to get the rest of the timber, that's all Oh And, you've been saying that for two years Take these boards up to here bang a bit of trellis on the outside Slap a coat of white paint on it Get some nice creepers growing up it'll look lovely I don't want trellis Andy, it'll look like a Chinese restaurant It'll be nice Hello Oh shut that door it's freezing Oh you finished have you? Nah I'm still in the bath Wouldn't surprise me Made a mess have you? No No Oh hello Alright Where you been? Town Hello Nat What you been doing? Shopping Want a little sandwich Andy? Yeah what you got? Cheese and toastie? Yeah lovely Still got me glasses on, thought I was going blind Here you are Tadaa chocolate! You're chocoholic you are You are, I could give it up tomorrow no trouble Do you want coffee? No thanks Please Do you want a little sandwich Nat? Yeah Do you want pickle? Course I want pickle Gonna get out there this afternoon finish off that patio Oh don't give me heart attack Andy please I will, make a start What did you get Nat? A shirt Is this it? Yeah Can I have a look? If you want to Oh it's nice Yeah it's alright isn't it Why do you always get a man's? 'cause I like them Suits me thanks alot Nat Funny man It's not for me? No it's not for you Oh shame I thought my luck had changed You should get a nice blouse, short sleeves Show yourself off a bit Shut up Well Don't listen to her Nat - What? Did you get me those fags? No Why not? I told you, if you want to smoke you can get your own fags Well could you lend me some money? How much? A tenner What's it for? Alright, a fiver Well what do you want it for? Mind your own business Suit yourself You'll be charging interest next Yeah it's a good idea Capitalist When did you get that? This morning it's alright isn't it? Nah, it looks like a tea towel Yeah I was quite pleased with it myself Hey Andy guess what What? I woke up this morning, I felt a little bit what's it y'know and I thought to myself Oh blimey don't tell me I'm in the family way Oh Jesus Christ What's the family way supposed to mean? You know what it means No, I know what pregnant means You don't half talk some rubbish Well, silly little sayings Oh shut up You shut up I was lying there Andy I thought to myself Aw I would love another little baby You're too old to have a baby ain't you? Course not You may not be I am You wouldn't see me for dust, I tell you Oh don't Andy don't be rotten Typical, typical man Oh shut up, what do you know about men? Enough Anyway I thought to myself ah nevermind I'll just have to wait till I'm a Grandma You're going to have a long wait Yeah Eh? Who would want them? Oh that's nice Stick a couple of brown paper bags over their heads Might be able to flog them off cheap, sight unseen Anyway I'm not going to waste my life No? What're you doing now then? Contributing a great deal aren't you sitting around on your arse all day Yeah well I'm thinking about it Oh yeah thinking about it that's the easy bit isn't it anyone can do that it's doing it that's difficult Bollocks Nicola Shame though isn't it They were such lovely little dolly what's it's Sitting there in their matching little outfits My little Natalie and my little Nicola and now look at them Oh get a sick bucket and when you have a bath Nicola, don't leave the towels on the bathroom floor stinking wet Here we go Well how many times have I got to tell you? It's just two simple little movements Down and up and pop it on the towel rail Don't be patronising and I won't tell you again about using my cotton wool balls Oh don't be so selfish What do you want two baths a day for anyway? What, are you taking their side now? I'm not taking anyone's side I'm just asking you a simple question Yeah well don't Here you are And Oh cheers Here you are Nat Ta Don't light that cigarette Nicola, we're eating Don't eat It's lunch time, that's what you do at lunchtime eat What's lunchtime anyway? It's only a convention Nicola if you want to smoke while we're eating go up to your room alright Anyway if you smoked less and you ate more you wouldn't be sitting there looking like a skeleton It's better than looking like a beached whale Oh thank you Anyway your Dad likes something to grab hold of of the night What blubber? No Me little love handles We got a set each ain't we Andy Oh you're disgusting Oh shut up Those sandwiches stink Listen Nicola I told you if you don't like it you know what you can do Yeah well I'm going - Good Well go on then In a minute You can't go can you? What's keeping you Nicola? eh? She's bored See you want to be with us so why don't you just act normal Andy What? How about having a little go at the patio today? Please Not today Wen Why not? It's gonna rain ain't it It don't look like rain to me I don't want to get all me sand and cement out and have it piss down on me, do I? Well have a go at the bathroom then finish off me tiling Yeah could do - Really? Hang on hang on - What? Ain't got no grout Oh typical Well I can get you grout Eh? - From work Today? Well no not today it's Sunday, tomorrow Water-proof grout? Of course it's gonna be water-proof grout, it's for a bathroom Yeah there's grout and there's water-proof grout isn't there Allow me to know Just make sure what you get is water-proof grout Don't panic, I'll get you water-proof grout Great, I'll do it next weekend Can I have that in writing please I have to say Wend this lamb is delicious Oh is it? good and the tiles are in the cupboard under the stairs right Nice and pink, beautiful isn't it - Yeah it's nice Are you eating yours missus What's it to you? She cooked it that's what it is to her Oh shut up goodie two shoes What's it like in the first class dining compartment then? Listen if I choose to eat in my own space that's my perogative, right Hey do you want a glass of low calorie H20? Just leave her alone Oh there she goes It's the year of the horse Eh? Chinese Oh yeah, do you want some more? Yeah Do you want some? Yeah go on then Cut me a nice big juicy slice you know that I like mine nice and juicy Mother No you can't rush him Yeah he's happy going at that speed isn't he Yeah, dead slow and stop It's the door Well answer it It's that Patsy bloke Open the door Nicola No I don't know him Course you know him Go on I've got wet hands - So Tell you what Nicola you're an awkward cow Oh don't be sexist Oh hello Patsy - Hello Wendy Alright Sorry to bother you on a Sunday like but eh... I was wondering if Andy was in - Yeah Only I was hoping to catch him down in the boozer like but I got a bit held up Oh yeah Had to go down and see me old Mum Oh did you Yeah he's down the bottom of the garden Oh - Do you want to see him? Yeah alright Here come in then Thanks very much, terrific Hello girls Hello boys Hang on a minute Patsy's here - What Patsy Ah there he is, I'll just slip out and see him if that's alright Yeah that's alright Patsy go on Just watch yourself on that little step - What? That's the one yeah Andrew - Hello Patsy how are you? He must be in a right state He's had about ten pints Good job he's been banned from driving Nice hairstyle Aw I bet his Wife did those little streaks She must of got one of them what's it's one of them 3.99 kits from the chemists What you let him in for eh? What was I supposed to do? Fascist I tell you what though I wouldn't trust him I wouldn't trust anyone wearing a suit like that They cost about 300 quid them suits y'know What does he do anyway? He doesn't do anything he's unemployed Can have me hands on anything in here, you name it Bit of old rope Christmas tree, guitar Ah the old one armed guitar player eh Yeah I was gonna fix it up put a new neck on it, new set of strings Basically it's a good box Mothers don't let your children grow up to be cowboys Listen Andy eh do you want to get yourself out the house for a while? Hello my friend I love them She can't stand them won't let them through the door We got two of them Car boot sale Twins Here have you got twenty minutes have you? What for? I've got something for you Listen Patsy whatever it is I swear to God I can't afford it, I'm broke Andrew I am advising you to accompany me to a certain place Where I'm going to show you something Where? What is it? I am not prepared to reveal that at this stage Why not? It's a surprise What is this? Come on do us a favour Give us a clue No, shtoom is the word if you don't go you'll never know Be there or be square Nah Alright, suit yourself I'll see you in a minute How long are you going to be We'll be right back - Where you going? I don't know Where're you taking him Patsy? Don't worry Wendy a little magical mystery tour Eh Andy you've still got your hat on Blimey, catch Sure you two haven't got a woman What with my luck? What with a beautiful girl like you? Heard it all before See ya later Dad, get us twenty silk cut Get your own - Selfish pig Oh it's nice and hot It's a bit bright isn't it That's it That's right Come on get in What can't get it in the hole? hahaha shut up Relax Andy relax Oh hi Natalie It's Nicola Oh yeah sorry I brought a pineapple What for? For your Mum, y'know Ah Do you want to come in? Yeah thanks very much Shut the door Oh yeah There you go Nobody in? Nah Do you want to sit down? Yeah yeah thanks very much So Andrew what do you think? I think it's a load of old crap that's what I think What's the matter with it? - Look at the state of it Nah, coat of paint You're looking at the future mate This could be the catalyst that sparks the revolution This is what you've always wanted I want this like I want a hole in the head This is your chance to break out of the rat race We should get a cat Eh? Get another cat like Tigger What a little kitten? - Yeah Nah I don't want a moggy scratching all me furniture Why do you want a cat? No I don't know why I said it really We could get a big Rottweiller then it might eat Nicola That's a good idea That's one way of getting rid of her We should get a crocodile My hair's falling out Yeah well stop pulling it then It still falls out It's really nice hair Are you taking the piss? No I mean it I'm sincere Bollocks You're a really attractive girl y'know No I'm not I'm too fat Fat? What is fat? It's all in the mind Do you want to put it down Yeah I think it's on the turn but I didn't want to waste it I had a few ideas but, y'know Why didn't you eat it? Great knees Look at this rust every where There you go lightning striking a cup of tea It's falling apart the strong winds the roof would come off Here you are have a look inside I'm not going in there mate I value my health to much No no feel free No way Ripe isn't it It's just a bit musty needs a bit of air through it I bet there's something died in here Are you sure this is on the level Patsy? Of course it is it belongs to my brother Look the old griddle Ah there she is, beautiful Haven't seen those in a while Ah she's still in good nick though You must be joking it's fucked isn't it It's got everything you need in here I'm making a tea Nicola do you want one? Oh hello Aubrey - Hello Wendy What're you doing here? I brought you a pineapple Oh did you? Oh isn't it a big one Andy's not here He's just popped out Yeah? How long have you been here? Oh fifteen twenty minutes Oh you haven't Aubrey Straight up Nicola - What? Why didn't you tell me Aubrey was here you knew I was sitting out the back No I never Yes you did Are you calling me a liar? Yes I am calling you a liar I thought you had gone for a walk Don't be so stupid I've never been for a walk in me life have I Sorry about this Aubrey - No sweat Come and have a little seat in the garden Take your coat off get the sun on yourself Well she's a nice girl Yeah nice with her head in a bucket Look at that brilliant Tell you what mate I'll let you have these comestibles for nothing I promise you Andy You go down White Hart Lane on a Saturday for the home games A man of your skills a couple of hundred beef burgers You'll make a fortune I'm telling you Excuse me guvnor I'll have 4 hamburgers 3 egg burgers A sausage roll and onion a bacon egg and cheese roll A tea, a bovril and a large vodka Sold to the man with the beard I have to admit Patsy I am tempted No No regrets No No regret rien Oh yeah that's what I remember yeah She sang it in French Yeah she was from France She was thin She was thin she was French She dead though ain't she Yeah she was a prostitute So Shut up The sparrow Yeah the little sparrow that's right yeah So are you all set then Aubrey? Got all your little menus printed up and everything? Oh yeah - Yeah good No I haven't actually Oh blimey when do you open? Tuesday Well it only gives you a couple of days How's everyone meant to know what they want to eat They might not want to eat Oh here we go Don't be stupid it's a restaurant So It's alright by me if they don't want to eat they can bask in the atmosphere Oh blimey you're not going to make much profit that way Aubrey No manger-e no sweat That's daft No it aint Parisien Why don't they eat in Paris then? Good one Seven Two-fifty I'll come down to six Right three hundred Five-fifty So I'll give you three hundred now and fifty when I've checked out the gear Five hundred Four hundred Four fifty Four twenty five Alright done - right- it's a deal Cheers Hang on hang on drop the wheel Drop the wheel there you go and up Hey how about that sweet as a nut Genius Just get parked up be right back Off you go Oh Andy What do you think? Oh Andy you haven't She loves it Patsy Look at it, mobile goldmine I can feel it in me water Oh Andy you're joking me? I'm not, I promise God's truth, no word of a lie Have you bought it? Yeah good isn't it? No - Great What do you reckon? Not much Andy it's a heap of rubbish What do you mean? Well look at it It's got character isn't it I love it It's disgusting Eh? It's ecologically unsound You're ecologically unsound Bollocks What do you reckon Nat? It's embarrassing Eh? Nah, you and me soon get it licked into shape You must be joking It's all rusty No no Wendy that is just superficial Know what I mean Bit of treatment, nice coat of paint it'll come up lovely This is you isn't it? Eh? Oh Patsy Excuse me mate if you don't mind What? Oh yeah yeah cool Isn't it great Aub? Yeah yeah yeah it's eh The possibilities are eh..y'know Yeah it's all there, the works all you need Where're you going to keep it Andy? 'cause you're not keeping it here Get a lock-up or something Andy I'll be right with you mate just give me what's it's Andy What's going on Patsy? Nothing Well how much is he paying you for it then? Well that is not for me to say Wendy You're behaving like a big kid Don't be cheeky Alright Patsy Andy where're you going? Ten minutes Wend Where're you going I'll be right back - Bye bye Wendy Andy What's he doing? Getting conned As usual Aubrey are you alright? Oh blimey I thought you had copped it then Yeah sorry it went up on me there Yeah I wondered what was happening and... Have a cup of tea Ah jackpot There you go mate Thanks very much Andy Alright mate I'll see you through the week Don't you want a lift? Nah I've got to go and see me old Mum Alright - Y'know what I mean Alright cheers all the best To be honest with you It's worth far more in scrap value alone than what I paid for it So what did you pay for it then? What? Well..what I done I mean I haven't actually.. it depends what you mean by See he's not cracking on Aubrey No no no I know what I'm doing Ha ha could of fooled me Well I hope you didn't pay more than ten quid for it Well I paid more than ten quid for it yeah but look at it, it's an investment Tory So what do you think about it Aubrey? Yeah mate It's.. Now be honest Yeah gilt edged y'know See Aubrey knows the game Can't go wrong Ronald McDonald had to start somewhere didn't he Oh blimey it's old Big Mac sitting here look So when are we going to see your restaurant then Aub Yeah Whenever you like Have a little nose Yeah before you open if you want any advice He wants it to be a success Dad Shut up - Yeah I'd love you to see my restaurant Don't get me wrong I'm confident Infact I'm mega confident Oh are you? I just haven't had any outside input y'know Oh haven't you? We could go now Wend Yeah alright He might want to stay here Well what does he want to stay here for? 'cause He can do what he likes We can go now yeah cool Well yeah yeah yeah great Just give me us minute to powder my nose then Hey Andy have you fell in? What? We've seen it all before y'know He fell in the water Prat - Boring git Shut up You're going to break a leg one of these days Andy You alright Andy? Yeah mate just mucking about Aubrey Oh blimey I thought we were going to take off then I've got no handles I can't get out - Yeah I know that's why I'll have to come around Hey Andy I thought we were going to fly then I can't get it up ooh That's fantastic isn't look look Wend tres exclusive It's nice Andy - Yeah great It's in good nick isn't it - I like the lamps Oh that's where you're going to keep your little menus is it in there? Yeah I can't find the key though Well you need a key Aub What is it? Aw it's a little pet cat look It's a little moggy Aw bless him Yeah it's fantastic isn't it I was going to put this up here Oh you can't No not in a restaurant Aubrey it'll put people off their food No it'll smell - Yeah See what I'm going for here is eh.. The street Eh the War - Yeah and I've got these accordians from a car boot sale and I'm going to stick them up there and eh They are going to represent the eh Music of Paris Do they work Aubrey? No they're knackered I got the three of them for 17.50 y'know They saw you coming mate Yeah well the birdcages I'm going to hang them up all over the ceiling Yeah you've got a load of them ain't you They're going to eh Symbolise The sparrow Oh I like the bike Oh yeah ah isn't it novel It's brilliant isn't it The old onion seller That's in the wrong place Oh blimey Is this the original French article Aubrey? Yeah yeah No it was my Dads actually yeah it was in the shed Aww isn't that nice Andy Aww he would of been proud of you Aubrey No I don't think he would of cared less Wendy y'know He was a nasty old bastard Here look at this Oh you've got a fish tank look That's good isn't it Oh yeah I thought they were real So did I Oh fish look a bit unfit don't they The water's murky isn't it Yeah I'm going to put a couple of lobsters in there So people can choose them and I'm going to cook them in over a minute y'know Nice one Yeah so where are you going to put your prawns then? Prawn Is that all? just one? King prawn Oh sorry Anyway you like Wendy y'know It's all a matter of what picture you want to paint You having all black plates then? Yeah, great canvas What sort of sauce are you using there Aub? Basically jam blended with orange juice Orange juice What's that white stuff? cream? Nah it's fromage frais isn't it - Yoghurt Is it? I think you'll find that fromage frais will bubble on you And It needn't I acheived this effect by eh Gently Easing Teasing and squeezing Oh don't be so dirty Until you've got a nice symmetrical circle and eh Then we eh Chisel in the pattern with the end of a knife and Bob's your Uncle it's ready to set Aw it looks nice though Andy Your grill's in a bit of a state Aubrey Is it? Oh yeah the girl can do all that When they starting then your girls? The dogsbody tommorow then the waitress on Tuesday Oh right - Great team Ah I love your little candles Bistro effect isn't it Yeah they're great ain't they I've been trying to get them all the same length But eh I keep forgetting to blow them out y'know and have to start all over again I've been through 12 boxes this week Ah that'll be your first little booking Here we go Hello the Regret Rien Oh hi Hilary How are you? are you in the starting blocks raring to go? great You what? Hang on a minute Say that again Look at the state of this place Aww shame isn't it I don't think he'll be ready y'know You want to see the ladies toilet Still, all credit to him - Aw bless him yeah Puts the old caravan in perspective doesn't it Aw Andy please don't remind me What do you mean? Well I don't want it sitting there do I for 2 years blocking my view Nah this has inspired me I want to get back get down to work, get stuck in Pigs might fly Fuck you What's up mate? Nothing Do you want a cigar Andy? No thanks mate I don't use them Wendy would you like a liquor No ta no I'm fine Who's that then? My waitress What the big girl? - yeah The Aussie? - yeah No Kiwi Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Got to laugh ain't you What's the matter then? She's eh let me down y'know How do you mean? She's going away with her boyfriend When? Today She was phoning from Heathrow Where's she going Flipping Prague Aww Oh that's not right No that's not on mate - No sorry It's great isn't it You give someone a break a chance to better themselves An opportunity to enter into brave new venture and what do they do? Piss off to Poland Well that's typical Aussie isn't it, travellers Students It's Czechoslovakia isn't it, Prague? Yeah is it? Yeah It's alright I can cope I can do it on my own - No you can't Yes I can I've come this far so far solo I can go the whole hog I can wait on table I can do that, I'm not proud I can eat in a fucking kitchen Aubrey Aubrey calm down calm down What you got to do you got to get onto an agency Get a waitress over here to cover you til you get yourself sorted out Yeah 'cause you need that little support That's right It's alright Andy Wendy Everything's hunkydory cool I'm in complete control If ever I see her again I'll stick a knife in her guts I'll slice her face off y'know Whoah whoah whoah whoah whoah Jesus Christ don't the neighbours complain? My eardrums please - oh dear Sorry sorry I got over excited I am so grateful thank you Really really from the deepest part of my heart, thank you Aubrey shut up right - No no I'm sincere Now listen You're in trouble, right? and I'm helping you out 'cause that's what friends are for That's right isn't it Andy It's it's it's amazing But you haven't even done bar work Wend, let's be honest No but I'm confident I can have a go Let's face it, have you ever been a waitress? No - No But I've been waiting on you all these years haven't I so To be totally honest Andy I think Wendy will be a natural y'know She's got such grace and charm - Thank you Aubrey Excuse me are we talking about the same girl? Don't be rotten Eh listen, what have I got to wear? Black waitress uniform What? little French maids outfit? Eh Andy look at his face No anything you like Wendy y'know Comme ci comme ca come casual What? skirt and blouse type of thing yeah? Yeah great See if you've got anything in pink Wend Oh shut up you Listen, aren't you going to pay me? Oh yeah How much? 25 a week What? You're joking me Leave it out What time's that flight to Prague? - Yeah we'll be on it No no no No you don't understand That's just a basic for the paperwork, the tax-man y'know How do you mean? Well you get to keep all your tips that's 12 and a half percent and if you don't get at least a 100 a week I'll make up the difference Oh that's not bad Oh that sounds alright yeah that'll go towards the holiday I don't want to talk about money anyway You can have what you like 1000 a week y'know Yeah alright you're on Well y'know what I mean Is this your passion pit then Aub? Oh yeah this is where he brings all the girls Andy This is the only room I've had decorated Oh yeah it's nice though isn't it, this is what I call a proper boys room y'know Yeah Great bed Orthopedic 300 How many does it hold? Oh careful Oh dear me Aubrey You alright mate? What're you doing? coming up for air? Thought I'd lost that What are you looking for fivers down there? No all I'm saying Andy Is I think you made a big mistake That's all Little beauty ain't she I mean if you got yourself a bank loan and bought a really decent van that's one thing But buying this I mean you're throwing good money after bad Have we got any bin bags? I mean look at all this it's rubbish What do you think I want the bin bags for? of course it's rubbish It's all rubbish I know that That's why I want to get this lot cleared out then I can see what I've got Well I'm sorry Andy I can't get any enthusiasm for it I know you can't it's obvious To be honest with you I would appreciate if you could Could do with a bit of moral support You'll have to get a license y'know What? and I tell you what if you park this on someone elses pitch You're going to get yourself duffed over I can look after myself Oh can you? Have you ever seen those hot dog fellas they're all like that Don't know what you're talking about Lipstick's a bit bright Nat Oh very amusing Where're you going? Drink Have one for me Staying in? Yeah Yeah he's got to save up now pay for this heap of what's it So long as he's happy That's right Nat thanks alot much appreciated That's alright Going in I'm freezing Tell you what Andy Hope it don't rain tonight, you'll need your snorkel in here in the morning I think she likes it don't you? Yeah she's over the moon See ya - See ya Have a good time Have another shot then Oh very flash 200? Oh Andy Well you're not paying him anymore alright? Look, do you want me to carry on doing my brain in at that bloody place for the rest of my life? No of course I don't Right So I'll give it a go at the weekends and if it works out I'll jack in the day job Andy you can't jack in your day job before you've got something definite to go to right? On a bank holiday weekend I could make What? Two? two and a half thousand quid Oh Andy You're just a big softy you are Well who's to say, alright it's a risk I admit that but it's a risk worth taking isn't it? I suppose if the worst comes to the worst we could always go on our holidays in it That's right, reconvert it to an ordinary caravan Stick a couple of bunk beds in it Have a little bunk up Oh yes please Eh Eh how about How about Orthopedic five hundred quid y'know Bouncing up and down on his bed Orthopedic y'know Orthopedic y'know Tell you, you want to watch out for Aubrey in that kitchen He'll come up behind you with a cucumber Listen I don't think it'll be a cucumber he'll be coming up behind me with Well maybe you fancy him I don't know Oh you're joking I'm not that desperate Aw bless him I feel sorry for him actually He's not a bad bloke Aubrey What're you doing? What? I like it do it again I'm not doing anything I'm not Go on then Has Nicola come to bed yet? Yeah I think so Oh I tell you what Andy She gets me in a right state that girl I heard myself shouting at her this morning and I thought this isn't me I don't recognise myself y'know it's horrible Good job they're not identical Oh blimey yeah Oh I used to think It'll be so nice to go to discos together and... Bring the boyfriends home I won't let you go Buttered muffins What?? Alright my friend Don't run More colour Chop chop Are you happy in your work Chef? - Over the moon mate Someone's got to do it and at this stage it happens to be you and you've got two little chunky legs and you're lovely yeah and you're going to grow up to be a boxer Be a big boxer or a wrestler and I bet you're just like your Dad eh? Are you just like your Daddy? Do you have anything in navy? Navy? yeah Oh listen take no notice of me, I get all carried away y'know 'cause mine are grown up now I don't want any pastels - No that's right yeah 'cause you are going to a wedding yeah a little bird told me yeah So lets have a look what we got Now There's that little outfit that's French But that's a little bit girly isn't it - He needs something sophisticated More sophisticated yeah 'cause he's not a girly boy is he Do you know what I mean? He's more a boys boy I mean you couldn't mistake him for a girl could you? No he's a boy - Yeah What's his name? - Nigel Aw bless him Little nidgy Nigel Well lets see what we've got for you then Nigel Lets have a little look That's a bit baby baby Oh a minute That's nice We sell alot of them Oh I don't think so Oh it looks nice on it really does a little sailors outfit How's that old boyfriend then Nat? What old boyfriends that then Steve? Oh come on I'm single and care free thanks Yeah I wish I was You never said you was coming today I'm sorry I'll go shall I? No What's all this? What does it look like? A fucking dump Like the rest of your house Middle class wanker This your old mans? Yeah What? you going on holiday? Nah it's what he wants to be buried in Well come on Oh that's alright I didn't want a coffee anyway Well it's a dump isn't it - Yeah What're you waiting for? Go on So what've you been doing? Working Leave it out I have What sort of work? Writing - Writing? Yeah Writing what? A novel What's so funny? You writing a novel what's it about? Don't know haven't started it yet Am I in it? No Is it auto biographical? - Course it is What're you doing? Get off No Hold on a minute Jesus no What? Not again it's boring Well I'm not doing it then Well don't do it Oh come on Here you go No thanks I've just eaten Haha wise guy Lie down then You pervert Don't stop I've had enough What? I can't eat no more I'm full up It's not a joke I'm going to puke Weak Are you going then? No Well you're not staying Thought I could get in there with you No you won't What's a matter with you? Nothing I don't agree EH? Don't shout you sexist pig Why're you shouting sexist? 'cause that's what men do - You're full of shit Why is it you never want me to stay? What's in this machine Nicola? My bedding Not again Why didn't you peg my washing out? I'll do it later Blimey it could of been dry by now So what've you been doing all morning? Sweet Fanny Adams as usual Anybody ring? Like who? Like your Grandad for instance No No Look at Andy on his picture I still reckon he looks so Tommy Cooper What did you have for you're breakfast? A big fry up No really Toast I don't beleive you Nicola Can you lend us a couple of quid? What for? A packet of fags No chance Mean cow If you're giving your stomach a rest you might as well give your lungs a rest an all So what have you been up to? Nothing Look at the state of you chalk white face Blimey you look like a ghost You'd frighten the birds you would No wonder you didn't peg my washing out Ooh nevermind eh I was like you I started at the bottom y'know I was on the sick for six weeks before I got a look in It's all about keeping your eyes peeled These tongues are a pain in the neck Can't get into the crevices Is it a pigs tongue? Lambs tongue Couldn't get a pigs tongue in your mouth It would stick in your throat Would it? You look quite attractive in white Suits you There's the skins chuck them away Good Hey You got rythym y'know Here have some more You done really well today Have I? Yeah I'm really pleased with you You're quite a tasty little worker y'know That's nice It's a bit old fashioned looking isn't though that one Black skirt, white blouse it's traditional, I like it Oh Andy my legs are like jelly sticks I'm sorry I said I would do it now Just go for it You wore that for Joans wedding didn't you Oh blimey yeah Aw poor Joan Poor Donald What about Tracy? I like this Yeah now you're talking - Yeah that's the one isn't it Yeah I preferred the white Oh blimey I'm going to be late Oh eh Andy do you remember this? You do us any tea Wend? Yeah there's a little chicken casserole in the oven That's nice You hungry? Here I went to this old girls house today right She had her dead dog lying on the sofa She never - Eh? No, the skin spread out like a rug Oh charming - Eww She had arthritic hands couldn't turn her tap on Thought it was bust I went straight to it gave it a good twist and it was perfectly alright So what did you do then? Well I changed the washer for her so she didn't look stupid Oh that's a good girl Did you charge her a call out? Well I had to you know what they're like I didn't want to Where's this then? Off the A10 somewhere She said she would give me some toffee though she couldn't find her ration book Did she? Aww bless her I don't suppose you know what a ration book is do you? Course I do Learn allsorts in your business don't you and she kept calling me a good lad Oh she never? Yeah Well you should of said to her listen I'm a Miss Nah no point More interesting than my job Same every day We had a bloke slice the end off his finger this morning What right off? No there was like a flap No Andy don't Christ - There was alot of blood No it was his own fault I've a very good accident record as it happens Yeah we know No it's true, It's because I drum it into them health and safety, health and safety Still you're always going to get someone showing off ain't you Yeah Oh blimey I haven't done my nails Come on lets leave her in peace she's got to get ready for her big night and shut the door Oh Wendy You look fantastic do you know that Wendy? Oh thanks only I didn't want to let you down y'know You haven't I've had six different blouses on tonight No so as long as you're happy y'know You're superb Eh is that what you're wearing? ?They lend you that for having soup? That's what me Mum used to say Are you hungry? I'll buy you some fish and chips later y'know Will you? I might See you've got tomato souffle - Yeah Kidney vol-au-vent - Oh vol-au-vents yeah We had them on me 21st vol-au-vents they're nice This is the whole kidney King prawn in jam sauce - Oh yeah just the one Chilled brains, they speak for themselves - Oh not brains Prune quiche, that's one for our vegetarian friends Right Black pudding and camembert soup - Oh no don't Boiled bacon consomme - Oh no consomme that's the same as soup isn't it? It's basically the bacon water - Yeah That's like what your Mum gives you when you're ill? and a saveloy on a bit of lychees - Oh I got a little Chinesey one in there That's all your hors-o'deurs and that's your entrees Right so this is me main course type of thing right What's that one there pork what? pork list? Pork cyst Cyst? Yeah Oh you're joking me? No No it's not called cyst? Aw me Dad had one of them - Did he? Yeah underneath Hey cough Aw bless him What is it? It's like a dumpling y'know Oh I couldn't and then we have duck in chocolate sauce yeah Tongues in a rhubarb bouillabaisse - Oh no Liver in lager and clams in ham That's with a pan fried coq au base sauce Yeah Or quails in a bit of spinach with treacle Or my piet de resistance grilled trotters with eggs over easy Oh right what's over easy? State side sunny side up y'know Oh yeah the one I can turn Oh blimey Aubrey I'll never remember all this You'll be fine Any problems refer them to me Yeah but you'll be in the kitchen cooking won't you Yeah I'll be in there, I'll be out here I'll be everywhere I'll be chef patron y'know Well you should of had your little menus printed up like I told you, right? Yeah yeah no sweat I want this restaurant to be built on a one to one mouth to mouth reputation y'know Would you like a glass of wine Wendy? Oh no thanks no me stomachs all of a go with me nerves Yeah go on in it might sort you down Oh go on then just half a glass Oh blimey I forgot I've got something for you - Have you? oh great Alright? I want to go for a fag What? Now? We're busy Are we? Yeah go on then, be quick just have half of one With a bit of luck I'll get me fortune told later Feel free Got a little card for you Oh thanks very much - That's from me an Andy and the girls Oh that's fantastic That's really brilliant, that's really marvellous you're a really attractive woman, thanks very much All the best good luck Thank you We are now officially open - blimey sorry sorry As far as I'm concerned Footbal died the day Arsenal won the double That's right yeah What was they? workhorses Boring buggers ain't they Where as the Spurs double team they was artists wasn't they Yeah they was artists Twenty one quid a week they got, can you imagine? What do they get today? millions Then they've got the back handers on top of that ain't they Poncing round the penalty area with their handbags Yeah prima donnas Oh he kicked me, ref Brown Baker Henry Blanchflower Yeah Danny boy Yeah He was the architect of the modern game y'know That's right yeah Norman, McKay Jones, White, Smith Alan Dyson Yeah, come on you Spurs John White what a player eh? Yeah I used to have a little picture of him on my wall Ringed in black - Yeah tragic What a way to go Struck by lightning On a golf course Yeah what a waste eh? Do you want another? Yeah alright Want something with it? Yeah, rum and black Large one? Yeah alright - Yeah See the thing is Is that people don't like to venture out too early do they? No not on a Tuesday no No they like to get home Have a bath Chill out Have their tea and then go out to eat Did you put an advert in the paper? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah No I didn't actually You should of had some little cards printed then I could of given them out in the shop Yeah I didn't want to attract the wrong sort of people y'know Oh charming oh thanks very much Aubrey Would you like another glass of wine Wendy? Oh yeah go on alright I'll keep you company Great hands Do you think you'll ever have kids? No Well you're pretty sure for one so young What? and look like a tank for nine months? give me a break Is that all you're worried about? what you'll look like? I'd make a good Mother Oh would you? Yeah Why? do you want kids? Yeah In the fullness of time Do you? Course You've got to have a boy friend first Yeah one does generally need a bloke this is true Well you're not doing very well then are you? Well I haven't seen your men exactly queuing up in droves You don't know What? they sneak around here in the day time do they when no one's in? Anyway you don't need a bloke to have a kid Well I wouldn't fancy bringing one up on me own Well it's better to be on your own than be with a bastard Well presumably you wouldn't choose a bastard in the first place if you had any sense All men are bastards What? They're all potential rapists That's a bit sweeping All men have got the ability to rape Well they don't all do it do they? If they've got the ability they've got the desire That's paranoid rubbish What do you know about paranoia? Well not half as much as you do I'll give you that You'll find out when you get to America I'm only going on a holiday So? What? you think I'm going to get yanked off the plane at J.F.K. airport and be raped and pillaged do you? You've got to be on your guard Did you hear what I just said? What? Yanked Get it? What? Yanked America Racist There's another bloody couple coming N..Yeahp Yeah they're coming this way Definetly Do you want me to tell Paula again? Yeah action stations No Shit Fucking yuppies They went straight past Oh did they? Oh perhaps they weren't hungry Where's Pauline? She's sitting on your work surface Is she? Yeah she's picking Right Don't sit up there Pauline It's unhygenic Cross infection These stocks are reducing nicely Secret of a great sauce Is a well reduced stock No stock no sauce Keys to the door You're working with a genius Do you know that? I'm not just a wanker y'know I could teach you things You've never even dreamed of I'm a magician I want a drink Well there's plenty of orange juice in there, help yourself I want some wine I can't have you getting drunk Kitchen's a very dangerous place She's got wine Me and Wendy We go back a long way Y'know I'm a friend of the family Classic nose Here you are Here What you think of this? What you got there? Lets have a look A pocket telly Yeah Have a look? Feel free That's good isn't it Yeah neat There we go Leave it out You fool Eh seen these? Give us it, give us back How much do you want for that then? I could Let you have it half price A hundred knicker Yeah nice isn't it Yeah Be tasty on the salad wagon Wouldn't it? Nah can't afford it What about that hundred? What hundred? That hundred you never gave me Y'know If someone had turned up with that twenty five years ago Instead of a bloody martian You would have to beleive them wouldn't you? Yeah yeah So you don't want it? No Patsy I don't want it I don't want anything Mean bastard Come on you bastards I'm open I'm ready, I'm waiting for you this is what you've all been waiting for Come and get it Fish wifes Footballers You English dickhead You can stick to your fish and chips go on, go and get cancer Thousand pounds Ten thousand pounds Go on mate cook him You working class morons Go and eat your own shit go on That is enough No more Right? 'cause you're being a naught boy Marry me Wendy What? I want to marry you Now stop it Aubrey stop it get off I love you Y'know Now don't be stupid, right? I'm already married I'm married to Andy I love Andy he's my best friend Yeah well we're very fond of you now you know that I don't care, I don't care if you're married to Andy You can still marry me you just don't have to tell him Now stop it right now sit down Sit down What're you doing? Get off me Aubrey stop it now I want to fuck you Wendy Now stop talking like that Now just stop it right, because Andy won't let me come here again Do you hear me? he won't I worship the ground you walk on Now look you're bending down that means you're going to be sick I kiss your feet Well there might be a little bit of doggy on me shoes right, and you're not going to like that so get up Nicola What? Oh Nicola Nicola's not here right she's at home saving the world Now look you've got vodka all down you're suit and that's your best suit you've bought for tonight, right? Sit down - I don't want it I don't want it - What? Sit down - I want Andy to have this Andy doesn't want it Yeah he's a poor man - Andy's got a suit No he can wear it in the fucking stupid caravans Now stop that Behave yourself He can have the suit 'cause he's all scruffy What're you doing? I'm going to give him the suit - Leave your trousers on Aubrey Aubrey leave your trousers on Behave yourself and leave your trousers on I love him and Nicky I tell you what What're you doing now? You're going to fall No I'm not drunk right I'm not drunk Aubrey stop it Now behave yourself right you're being silly Aubrey Aubrey will you stop it Now you're behaving like an idiot listen to me #no regrets# No you don't do any more, no #no regret rien no# #no regrets# #no regret# Blimey Shame though isn't it Come on Paula we're going Oh look at me Oh that's alright he'll find them there in the morning Oh what a night I tell you what Never again What a mistake It's alright he's only asleep he's not dead There's no need to be frightened I'm not frightened Eh? Nothing to be frightened of Alright Is this your little coat and here's your bag Now how're you getting home? Eh? Bus Right got you're fare? Where's your little purse?in here? Where's your cigarettes? In the pocket Right come on then What's a matter? eh? We're going for chips Who's going for chips? - Me and Aubrey Aubrey's in a coma he doesn't want any chips Well he'll be hungry when he wakes up won't he It stands to reason Alright I'll buy you chips I don't want no chips Alright well I won't buy you chips Come on Paula Look I tell you what take your hat off and put your coat on we don't want to frighten people do we? Oh Nicola Oh blimey hark at him Look I tell you what I'll run you to the bus-stop, ok? Paula Are you coming with me? Stopping here You can't stop here Please Paula Come on Blinking heck Andy Andy What? Oh blimey what're you doing? Tidying up You're not having no lager Get us a lager Nat You must be joking You've had enough lager for tonight right blooming lager lout, now get up the stairs What're you doing? - There's somebody at the door There's nobody at the door that's you Listen you'll have Irene banging on the wall again - What do you want? who is it Where's the lager? In the fridge Get up the stairs - Alright alright Look at the state of you You've got your best trousers on you've got your new shoes Now what? what're you doing? Can you shut the caravan door? - I've shut the caravan door Are you going to be sick? Don't you be sick on me Andy Nicola shut the caravan door No Brown, Baker Henry How did it go tonight? Terrible if you must know Why? I'll tell you later, no Andy no get in that toilet and do a wee Blimey look this is the seat I don't want me carpet all soaking wet and close the door you've got two daughters What's a matter with you? That's what's a matter with me I've got two daughters Oh shut up - What did I tell you So come on then, what happened at the restaurant? How many tips did you score? Nothing happened at the restaurant right? and keep it out I've had enough for one night I'm up to here with the lot of you No he could be dead this morning y'know Andy I'm not kidding All that broken glass he might of severed an artery Should of called the police shouldn't I? I feel like Princess Margaret I could of killed you last night I'll drop in on him on my way back from work, tell him he was out of order Will you? Yeah Suppose I've lost me hundred quid now haven't I? I'll get it off him, he's not going to get away with that Outrageous behaviour I got to go Wend See you tonight I'll be late Where're you going? I'm meeting Patsy for a drink You're not? Got you! Get out Come on lets go up No What? Not yet I know you want it Do I? Yeah How do you know? Syncronicity Shut up I don't want it What do you mean? I want you Sentimentalist Nah nah nah I come in we go straight upstairs, we do it Bingo you're a pain in the arse I don't want that, I want to see you nice Well what's nice? it's only a boring cliche No nice, nice show me a bit of civility a bit of respect You don't show me no respect I'm trying to respect you now, trying to treat you like a real person Instead of some fucking shag bag Come on talk to me What about? Anything Anything you think anything you know What do you care about? Eh? You got all these fucking books upstairs Women who love men too much men who hate women, women who love and women in love, womens ruin female eunuch Have you read any of that crap? What's it to you? Have you? Course So what have you learnt from it? That I'm a feminist What's a feminist? Oh come on No no no what does it mean? Stop being antagonistic I'm not being antagonistic I'm trying to have an intelligent conversation with you Are you capable of that? Eh? I don't think you are are you? Really Bit vacant aint you Bit of an air-head Nothing going on Bit dumb Bit dizzy Dimbo bimbo dumb blondster ain't you? Eh hello anyone at home hello hello You're a fake I am intelligent Are you coming upstairs? No Well piss off then Alright Blimey days Nicola look at the state of you You're sitting there like there's a grey cloud over you it's like the sun's gone in You've got no energy 'cause you don't eat your dinners and you've got no joy in your soul How do you know? I know because you've given up 'cause your not happy, that's how I know I am happy You've lost all your friends I don't see them knocking on the door anymore I don't want friends they dissapoint you I mean you say you want to change the world You're supposed to be political but I don't see you doing anything about it I am political and shut the door How are you political? I read the paper I watch the news I'm more political than you Oh blimey Nicola We can all watch the telly You should be out there helping the old aged pensioners or going on marches or whatever Marches are a waste of time it's boring If you put your money where your mouth is you should be joining one of these socialist what's it groups Or the nuclear disarmament whatever but you don't All you do is sit here in this room staring at the walls and tweeking and twitching and you're so perfect? No I'm not perfect but I haven't given up I'm still out there fighting and I tell you what Nicola Every time I look out that window and I see that rusty old caravan sitting there Do you know what it says to me? It says to me there's a man who hasn't given up either Who's still out there fighting looking for his dream Well it says to me there's a man who's getting greedy Greedy? You're Dad? He's the most unselfish man I've ever met Do you know he's up at six o'clock every morning Slogging his guts out in a job he hates Which is more than you do and he still comes home at the end of the week with sod all I'm not prepared to be exploited Exploited? You're not prepared to work full stop You've accepted Nat as a plumber and you didn't like that at first No I didn't I didn't like it But I can see now I was wrong because she's happy I don't know what I want to do yet Oh don't you? Well you had your chance Nicola When you were seventeen when you were at the college doing your three A levels You were going great and then suddenly you stopped You stopped eating, you stopped everything you ended up eight weeks in the hospital Well you put me there I didn't want to go Oh for Gods sake Nicola you were at deaths door You were trying to control my life You were dieing - No I wasn't Yes you were I'd know if I was dieing Doctor Harris told us you had two weeks to live You didn't know that did you? Three of us coming home every night crying our eyes out You were lucky Life's not easy Nicola I could of given up right? Sixteen I was doing me A levels What A levels? English and business studies if you must know Then I got pregnant with twins Well why didn't you have an abortion? Because I didn't want one Because I had two little lives growing inside me I don't beleive in it that's the easy way out You're Dad was only seventeen he was at catering college and he was working in hotels at night trying to get a bit extra We got a little flat together begged and borrowed a couple of cots and when the two of you were born we were thrilled to bits Because we had two lovely little babies We came through laughing Well don't blame me I didn't ask to be born I'm not blaming you Nicola I just want you to be happy that's all, and you're not I wouldn't care what blooming job you did I wouldn't care how scruffy you looked as long as you were happy But you're not something inside you has died You've given up and if one day I could just walk throught that door and you could look at me and you could say look Mum Help me please I don't know what I'm doing I don't know where I'm going Then I'd say great because now we can be honest with each another Now we can start talking But I'm not in a mess Aren't you? You're giving me a problem when I haven't got one Why Nicola If you hate me so much Why don't you throw me out? We don't hate you We love you, right? You stupid girl What've you done you silly sod? I think I've broke me ankle Jesus - Don't touch it lay flat Breathe breathe I am breathing for Christs sake - Lay flat, relax Got to help you I'll be back Nel, where're you going? Nel Nel A spoon! A fucking spoon for Christs sake Who dropped this spoon? Who dropped this spoon? Hello Yeah speaking yeah Oh hello how're you? Oh blimey you're joking me? he hasn't? Aw how did he do it? Oh no sorry Brian I'm sorry I know you shouldn't laugh, but Aw is he alright though? Yeah, no it's alright no I can come over, yeah straight away Alright thanks for phoning me Aw yeah and you alright then Yeah ta ta bye Nicola Oh Christ Hello Nat Look at the state of him Here you are take the bag Take these Wend Go on How're you going to do it? - I don't know Oh blimey Hang on hang on - Take it steady Don't let that door slam - Don't worry I've got it Do you want a hand? - No no I'll do it myself Ok? - Yeah yeah Right There you go - Give us those That's it that's it Right come on take it easy I've got you - Alright It's alright Open the gate Nat - Yeah hold on Go on Now don't rush Andy, right? It's alright - Just take it steady Andy what're you doing? Blimey you're not a greyhound in a race Well take it Wend I'm trying Andy - Well get rid of it Alright? Yeah He needs a little thingy doesn't he Hold on I'll get this table Oh that's it Nat Here we are Right That's the job - Careful careful careful Looks like the Royal leg Aw look at his little face aw poor Andy He's been through alot y'know Hey listen how're you going to get your trousers off? Cut them Well I tell you what I'll get me little scissors right? and I'll come up the inside leg Don't make me laugh Wendy How long you got to have this on for then? I don't know, six or eight weeks something like that Cushy number Yeah I wouldn't mind six weeks holiday Well it's a damn nuisance as a matter of fact I was going to get started on the caravan when I got back from work this evening, it's a pisser Oh blimey what about Aubrey? Oh yeah What about Aubrey? Oh lets leave it Let him stew in his own juice I've got enough on me plate Ain't you going in tonight then? No - Why? Because - Where's Nicola? Upstairs Does she know I had an accident? Well she told me Nicola Here I'll run these things up Andy Oh hang on, give us that give us it here I know what you want You want your little souvenir don't you? Yeah that's the bastard that's the culprit What? Yeah trying to kid us he slipped on a spoon He was still blooming drunk from last night Never I've never known pain like it Nat Ain't you? Searing pain Did you hear it snap? No I didn't actually Oh yeah I did Yeah I did Did you? Yeah It's like when you break a dry stick across your knee Know what I mean? Nicola What? Can I come in? Look at that An ordinary spoon I never noticed it before Here you are Nineteen seventy five This spoon was born when you were seven years old Oh yeah Just sits in a drawer Out of the drawer Into the peas Stir the custard Into the wash out of the wash Up on the hooks with all the other spoons and all the time just waiting for the fatal day When it would drastically alter the course of a mans life It doesn't look dangerous does it? Nah you take my word for it that is an evil spoon Here you are look put it in a place of honour Keep an eye on it Yeah I don't trust it Get us some chocolate Tell you what Go and give your face a little wash make you feel a bit better eh? Nah You don't want your Dad to know you've been sitting here crying do you? He don't want to see me He does I'll make him feel worse Don't be so daft I'm a burden to you Listen We got to turn over a new leaf yeah? Both of us All of us Come on have a little cup of tea Nah I don't want one Come on do it for your Dad He's been asking for you Has he? Yeah Sitting there with his tongue hanging out You know what he's like he wants a bit of tea and sympathy I just want to talk to you Do you? Do you want a hand Nat? - Nah it's alright Here you are Andy give us a little bit of chocolate don't hog it all It's alright there's plenty for everyone Ta Here you are Nic Want a bit? - Nah Go on have a bit Nah it's alright Have a little bit cheer yourself up It's alright don't force her Here you are Nic Thanks Did you go to the travel agent? Yeah I'm going to New York Chicago and New Orleans Ain't you going Disney? No I want to go interesting places Oh blimey fancy going to the States and not going to Disney land Why don't you go Nic? Nah It's too big Well she can go next year Get yourself sorted Save up eh? How's the leg? Oh not too bad throbbing a bit Only one problem I got to go to the toilet in a minute Eh Go and get your Dad a bucket Hey look at that spoon Just take the weight just take the weight That's it that's it Blimey it's heavy isn't it Alright? - Yeah Put the pillow behind me There you go That's it Tell you what Andy Good job you're not a horse Why? They'd of shot you Here you are then There you go It's good you had that chat with Mum isn't it Get things cleared up Eh? Did you tell her? Tell her what? Everything What do you mean? You know what I mean No? I'm not deaf I never said you was I've got the room next to yours, remember I can hear you What? playing my music? You know what I'm talking about At nights Getting sick and everything I'm not sick Oh come on I'm not It's hot isn't it I can't help it I know I think we should do something about it Who's we? You and me Have you told them about it No Why not? Well don't know Suppose I should of Don't know why I didn't Yeah I do know why 'cause I think you should I know what I do is disgusting I am disgusting Yeah it is disgusting Mind you I do some pretty disgusting things myself Do you? Yeah What? Oh I can't tell you What is it? I put my hands down toilets and on a good day I might get bitten by a rat Do you want any money? Yeah Alright Cheers Nah it's ok |
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