Ah!
- Come on Penny, call it.
Where the fuck are they?
- Uh... there!
- Brains!
- I can shoot through ya!
Right in the kisser.
- You know you don't have
to take such pleasure Max.
That used to be a human being.
- Shut it, Penny! Remember,
Direction is critical. I wanna
hear one o'clock, two o'clock,
three o'clock--
- Ten to ten!
- Whoa!
- Christ, Penny,
little help would be nice.
- OK!
- Old school.
- Nice.
Show off.
- Well?
- Uh...
um... I don't know.
I'm getting
multiple readings.
- Multiple readings,
piece of shit. Soo-eee!
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
zombie, zombie, zombie.
Soo-eee!
Brains.
Brains.
- Looks like this party's
just getting started.
- Brains.
- Brains.- ?
- Eww!
Shh, Tina.
You'll wake Sarah and Craig.
It's just a bug.
- I'm sorry, Steve,
I'm just not really
used to all this...
nature.
- Don't worry, the family
cottage is very modern.
The outhouse is barely
- Ha-ha, very funny.
OK, I need you
to focus.
Think head table. Ready?
A?
Or B?
- Uh... A?
- Oh, my God, I'm so happy
that you said that, 'cause
otherwise I would have
had to order in the yellow
orchids from Thailand, and
I think they almost
look the same.
- Almost.
Why don't you put that away
for now, Tina?
You did promise you were gonna
have fun this weekend.
- You're sweet.
I promise to have fun.
- Good.
- 'Cause I scheduled it
in the itinerary.
- Um...
- I'm just joking.
That's not
the itinerary
for the weekend. This is.
- Tina--
- Look, Steve,
there's still so much to do,
and you've been so busy
with your whole work
human resource thingy.
- Workplace conflict
resolution initiatives.
- Yes,
you've had all that stuff.
I guess I'm just feeling
overwhelmed.
I know that 300 people may seem
like a small guest list.
- 300 people?
- But in my family,
it's tiny.
I've had to make
a lot of compromises
for this wedding,
which I'm happy to do,
but I just want this
to be a special day
for both of us.
- It will be, baby.
I promise you.
- No doubt in my mind.
- Roll over.
- Your sister snores like a man.
- I know. It's cute.
- Yeah.
I never thought my matron
of honour would snore
louder than my husband, but...
- Tina.
- It's just that
your sister and I are...
different.
- I know,
and I'm very happy
that you chose her
to be your maid of honour.
- Matron.
She's married, and older.
- Well, it really means
a lot to me.
- Aw, honey,
you mean a lot to me.
And you mean
a lot to Muffins!
- You mean a lot
to me too, Muffins.
Yes you do.
Yes you do.
- Aww.
So cute!
- Gross, Steve.
Those things eat their own shit.
- What are you talking about?
Germans?
- Tina's rodent.
- Sarah, would you like
to hold him?
- No.
- I would. Gimme
this little shit eater.
Ah. Ahhh.
- Get it away!
- Would you look
at us?
One big happy family
on vacation.
- Yeah,
it's gonna be great.
- Yep.
I spy
with my little eye
something that is...
fluffy.
Ha-ha-ha! You're
talking about the rabbit!
I am talking about
the rabbit! You got it
on the first go!
This is
why we're together!
You're good!
Aaaaaaand...
here we are.
So? What do you think
of the Williams family cottage?
- Uh...
It's... charming.
- Baby, I told you
we're roughing it.
- Sarah!
I need to know
where the cleaning products are.
We really need to give
this place a once over.
- Yes, Miss Tina.
Right aways,
Miss Tina.
- They hate each other.
- Yep.
- I thought asking her
to be her maid of honour would
bring them closer together.
- Well, bitches are crazy.
Even when they like each other,
they hate each other.
- Maybe they
really like each other.
- No, those bitches
really hate each other.
- Well, I deal with conflict
resolution opportunities
like this every day.
I think I can, uh--
- No, listen, buddy, seriously,
your whole corporate Jedi mind
shit, it's not gonna work for
your team-building skills here.
- I got a few activities planned
I think will help mend
this relationship.
- Mmm. And I have
a few activities planned
that'll help us get shit faced!
- Craig, you're family.
I need you on board
this weekend.
You're my best man!
- You are so...
sexy right now.
- Craig,
I'm being serious.
- And our balls are
kinda touching.
It's OK, we're family.
It's OK.
All right, don't mention that.
That one's free.
- Steve, honey, let's see.
Oh, well, look at you.
You're getting there. Craig?
Wow, Craig,
those are perfect.
- Yeah,
can I drink now, please?
- Oh, God, this is brutal!
This is the cottage.
We're supposed to be having fun.
- Its just one more hour,
OK, guys? I mean, we're almost
done the place cards, and then
all we have to do is
pick out the readings,
make the photographer's list,
we're gonna rehearse
the speeches real quick--
- Babe... Sarah's right.
This is our first night here.
Why don't we play a game
or something?
- Yes! I'll grab the beers.
- What kind of game?
- Now, the object of this game
is to untangle ourselves
without letting go
of each other's hands.
- Steve, is this
a team-building exercise?
- It's a team-building GAME.
- So it's like a party game?
- It's kinda like a party game.
- It's kinda like retarded.
- Sarah, we have to work
together as a team.
- Can I get my beer?
- No,
we can't let go of each other's
hands, and we can't talk.
- I can't drink
and I can't talk?
- Non-verbal cues only.
- All right, fine.
- Starting...
- Ow!
- Sorry.
- Just...
go under there.
- Guys! Remember the rules.
There's no talking.
- Oh, God. Time out. Time out.
I can't breath!
Oh, my God!
- I'm sorry. I tried to go
under your arm, but I got stuck
in your underarm fa-
- My what?
- OK, let's play another game,
shall we?
- What, did my matronly
underarm fat get in your way?
- Oh, Sarah,
don't be so dramatic.
- I'm dramatic? You're the one
who's wedding is taking over
our vacation.
- Well, if you really
feel that way, then maybe
I shouldn't have made you
my matron of honour instead of
one of my real friends!
- Hey, let's get drunk!
How does that sound?
- Way ahead of you, buddy.
- Fine! I don't want
to be your god damned matron!
- Fine!
- Fine!
- Calm down!
Let's get a little fresh air.
- Nobody wants fresh air
but you, Steve.
- Ah. Ow.
Will you please just--
What the...?
Ow! Ow!
Ow!
- Steve, what is wrong with you?
- Ow! Jesus! Ow!
- Steve?
- Ow!
Ah! Ah!
- Oh, my God! Steve!
- Holy fuck, dude!
Are you all right?
- It just kept coming at me.
I thought I killed it,
and then it bit me again.
- Whoa! That's a lot of blood.
- Oh, honey, are you all right?
- No, he's gonna be fine,
all right? Some dudes just can't
take the sight of their own
blood. Like, I was sword fishing
once, and buddy was casting off,
and he catches his buddy's nose,
and, like, rips like half of it
off, there's blood everywhere--
- I think I'm gonna be sick.
- All right, that is it.
Party is over.
We are going to bed.
- Yeah. Definitely.
- Steve, seriously? You're gonna
make me drink alone?
- Groom's mess.
Best man cleans up.
I'm gonna go
set some place cards on fire.
- That's a buzz kill.
Maybe we should go
home in the morning. This may
not have been the best idea.
- Hmm?
- It's just that I get
a lot of work done at home
and, you know,
the salon really needs me.
- No. No, no, no.
I think we should stay.
- It's just that
your sister is
so... Baby, are you OK?
You're as white as a ghost.
- I don't feel so good.
- Ohhh, is my big
strong man scared
of a little bit of blood?
I know what'll
make you feel better.
You haven't had one of these
in a while.
- Oh, yeah?
- A...
foot massage!
- Oh. Yeah!
It's weird. I just...
I just don't feel right.
- You have cold feet.
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
No, I don't. It's, it's...
I'm stressed
about everybody getting along.
- No, Steve,
your feet are like icicles.
- Oh. Sorry.
- That's OK.
Sarah and I...
we just...
we just rub each other
the wrong way sometimes,
that's all.
- I love you, baby.
- You're cute.
OK, I promise
to make more of an effort
to play nice
with your sister.
- And I promise
to make more of an effort
not to get attacked
by killer mosquitoes.
- You can't help it.
They like to suck your blood
because you're so sweet.
Ah-ah.
- Hey, Penny.
- Yeah.
- Come here, get a picture of me
with fat zombie here.
- You're a child, Max.
- Ooh, that'll be a keeper.
- This is weird.
I've never seen the orb--whoa--
flicker like this
- Really? What's it saying?
- What?
- Tactical Bacon is... that way!
- Max.
- Are you hungry, fat zombie?
I want
some Tactical Bacon!
- Max.
- Of course you're hungry,
fat zombie. You're a fat zombie.
- Max, we need
to investigate the area, OK?
- All right. Should we
investigate the area,
fat zombie?
Tactical Bacon
now!
- The orb is
never wrong, OK?
- Yeah, OK, right.
Well, we'll eat and then
we'll check out the area.
But, uh, first, come here,
come over here. Come here.
- Yeah?
I want you to give fat zombie
a little kiss.
- Eww, no!
- Why, is it 'cause he's fat?
- No!
- Jesus!
- Ah!
- My bad.
So much for your magic orb.
Let's eat.
- Uh, it's still flickering.
- Oh, Christ.
Happy?
- No, it's...
it's so strange.
It's a...
- Penny!
- It's as if...
- Tactical Bacon!
- Good morning!
Cory Cortex here,
comin' at your undead heads
with all the brainformation
a hungry mind can handle,
here at AM 640, The...
- ...Brain!
- Where we get into your heads
and sink our teeth
into what really matters--
grey matter, that is! Right now
traffic is a real headache.
In fact, it's a bloody mess!
And before you head out
to work, you--
- Good morning, husband.
Rise and shine.
- Huh.
Hmm!
- Come on, sweetie.
Have some breakfast.
- Did someone say
breakfast?
- Oh, ha-ha!
Muah!
- Oh, hey, Steve.
Oh, that looks good!
You gonna eat all that?
- No, thank you.
Hey, Craig, do you want
to go for a run?
- I would, pal, but the weather
forecast says there could...
be rain.
- Would anyone like a smoothie?
- I would.
Oh, no!
Brain freeeeeeeze!
- Well, let us
help you with that.
- Mmm!
- Mmm! So good! Steve,
you wanna come try this
with us?
- Brains.
- Brains.
- Brains!
- Brains.
- Brains?
- THE brain!
- Oh, come on!
- Ah, brains.
- Brains.
- Brains.
- Brains.
- Brains.
- Are you sure
I can't help, Tina?
- Nope! I'm scheduled
for breakfast.
And then I have
you guys cleaning up,
I have Steve and Sarah
making lunch,
and Craig and I will clean up,
and then I have Steve and Craig
starting dinner. If that's cool
with you guys. AND
I even gave everyone colour-
coded tabs to avoid confusion!
- Vacation itinerary. Yay!
- Good morning!
- Hey,
Pooh bear.
You're up late.
Uh, ooh, no.
- Oh, my God.
You look like shit.
- Nothing a good run won't cure,
right?
Everything OK
with you girls?
Super. OK, shall we?
- Don't be late.
I'm making quiche.
All right!
- You know,
I could teach you how to cook.
- When you get married, man,
it's like a constant battle
to hang on to your manhood.
- You guys seem
to be doing all right.
- Yeah, well,
your sister's pretty cool.
She's like
the female version of you.
That's why I married her.
- That's really disturbing.
- Yeah, well, they always say,
marry your best friend,
and in a weird sort a way
I suppose I did.
- OK, stop.
- To be honest, man, I don't
even recognize you anymore.
You're all... safe.
What's the matter?
- Sorry.
I can't find my pulse.
- You should be looking
for your balls.
- All right, enough.
You're my best man.
You're supposed to be--
- No, a best man is
supposed to be the guy
that's telling you
exactly the way it is.
and that's what I'm doing.
I've known you since college.
Face it, Steve, you're about
to settle into the big sleep...
Steve!
Listen to me, all right?
Men, we're all wired
to be alpha dogs.
Even pussy ones
like you who want to be
Bill fuckin' Cosby, all right?
And women,
they dig alpha dogs.
Even strong-willed bitches
like ours. You want to be happy?
Grow some 'nads, all right?
Don't care about peoples'
feelings
or expectations.
Take what you want, man.
- Take what you want...
Oh, God, that's gross, man!
- Come on!
You know what that was?
- Chimichanga?
- No, that was
a selfish, thoughtless
urge. And I haven't heard
or smelt you fart in like
three years.
And do you know why?
'Cause
you're not allowed to.
Heh! Brutal.
- Do me a favour:
don't tell Sarah I was smoking.
How do I smell?
- You smell like ass!
And Mexican food. Christ!
Eat a salad.
- Jealous.
- Steve, you know
we're gonna eat at least
twice more today, right?
- I can't help it.
I'm starving.
- I'm just happy that you're
feeling better, honey.
- Eww!
Gross! Steve,
you know I don't like that.
- I am so sorry.
I don't know
what just happened.
- Are you OK?
You look really pale.
too fast, didn't you? Did you
eats too fast? Is there too many
- eggies in your little belly?
- Are you not feeling very goo--
- Excuse me.
- Uh... I'm just, um...
I'm just gonna make sure
he's OK. I'll be right back.
- I know the itinerary says
I'm supposed to clean up...
but...
- It's fine.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You're smoking?
I thought you gave it up
when you moved in with Craig.
- Yeah, I started again
after you proposed to Tina.
- I don't know
what's happening to me.
- You're marrying
a fuckin' bitch?
- Don't start, please.
Why can't you just try
to get along?
- I'm sorry, Steve,
but I don't like her.
And I resent you for guilting me
into being her matron of honour.
- I'm happy with Tina.
- Steve, you look
like shit, OK?
And I think maybe this is
your body's way of telling you
something
that your brain is afraid to.
- OK, I'm giving up
a few things here and there.
That's it.
That's what a relationship is!
I'm not like you, Sarah.
I'm not--
- A bitch?
- No. I'm not...
super strongly
opinionated.
All I want is
to be content.
Satisfied.
Not struggling
or hungry for anything.
- Well, then
you're already dead.
Don't you want more
to live for?
- I'm happy
with the way things are.
Please, just...
just be nice.
- Fine.
If that's what you want.
- It is. Thank you.
- Are you feeling
any better?
- I'm still really hungry,
actually.
- Well, I wouldn't
recommend the quiche.
It was made
by a fucking gutter cunt.
- Whoa!
- Sorry, I'm just getting
my fill while I can.
Don't tell Craig
I was smoking, K?
I'm going to go hose the puke
off your bride to be.
- Max. These readings are like
nothing I've ever seen before.
- That piece o' shit's
a thousand years old, Penny.
The warranty is long gone.
- Max, the orb is fine, OK?
It's these readings--
they're just, uh,
different.
We have to interpret them.
- That's your department,
sweet cheeks.
- Look, I,
I can't be sure, but, um...
I think we might have
a mutation on our hands.
- Mutated zombies?
Bring it!
- No, um, I don't think
it's a zombie, actually.
- I thought that thing only
searched out meat puppets.
- Well, I mean,
it could be, but I also t--
Max? Max... Max!
Max! Jesus Christ!
- OK, where's all the little
lightning bolts?
- Uh, well,
well, that's, that's the thing.
I mean, I mean,
the charges indicate
the presence
of zombie DNA, so when one is
near, it activates.
But this flickering could
indicate a hybrid.
- Hybrid? What, you mean
like a fuckin' hippie car?
- No, Max, like a...
fucking resistant host.
- Oh, Christ, that reminds me
of my ex-girlfriend.
- Max, this could be
exactly what I've been
looking for-- Waaaah!
- Oh, Penny, for Christ's sake,
that's the last time you drive.
- Look Max,
this could be exactly
what I've been looking for, OK?
A person with the genetic
make-up to resist the symptoms!
- I'm tellin' ya, Penny,
the only good zombie is
a dead zombie.
- No, no, no. This could be
why the orb has been acting
so strangely.
And if we can
capture this... person,
we could extract their DNA
and find a vaccine, Max!
- Yeah, well,
dream on.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, buddy!
- Where you guys going?
- Into town. You wanna come?
- No, Steve should stay here
and get some rest.
- Baby, I am so sorry about--
- Ah, it's OK.
It's just... you're not
feeling well. You know?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Ooh! Ugh...
Just... go lie down.
- K.
- Yeah.
- Have fun!
We won't!
- Max! Max! Pull in!
Pull in here!
- Oh, Sarah, it looks
like you're not gonna
get any sun this weekend.
It's OK! I'll book you
a spray tan before the wedding.
Hi. Are you guys lost?
- Oh, uh, no. We, um, are
actually here because--
- Have you kids seen
any zombies.
- Seriously?
- Yeah,
we're looking for, uh,
a, uh, undead
creature. Humanoid-lookin'.
Possibly, uh, droolin'
and, uh,
eatin' people's brains.
- OK, what my associate is
trying to say is that there has
been a Stage 1 outbreak--
- Oh, come on, Penny,
we haven't got time for that.
- I recognize you guys
from somewhere!
- Here we go.
- No, I totally saw you guys
online!
the only good zombie is
a dead zombie.
- That's ridiculous!
- Fuck.
No, fuck you!
- Ahhhhhhhhh!
- Fuck you!
- What were you doing
on a website called
A-Wholes.com, Craig?
- You wanted to experiment!
Never mind that. All right,
no, seriously, you guys are
fucking hilarious!
And you, dude, you've got
some real talent, all right?
"Only good zombie's
a dead zombie!"
So fuckin' cheese,
that is awesome, man!
Eww, gross! What the fuck?!
- What the fuck?
You're the fuck!
- Craig, get in the car!
- Why the fuck do I gotta
get in the car? He should get
in the car. Fucker spit on me!
- Just get in the car, Craig!
- Yeah, Craig get in the car.
- Get in the van, Max.
- Don't tell me
to get in the van, Penny.
- Max, I need you
to trust my judgement
right now and get in the van.
- You want me to get in the van?
I'll get in the fuckin' van.
- Thank you, Max!
I'm sorry. Um, he's been
under a lot of stress lately.
- Right.
- Hey, P!
- Yeah?
- This is what I think
of your fuckin' judgement!
- Whoa! Max! Max, no!
Oh, my God!
- Ha-ha-ha! Fucking hilarious!
- Shut up!
- Max, what did you do?
- Fuck...
- Oh, my God. This is bad.
Uh... do you have
any, uh, crazy glue?
- No. We have to go now.
- OK, no, I understand, um,
but IF you see anything
that's out of the ordinary,
you can give us a call
right there. Penel--
that's me on the bottom there.
And I also have this
for you.
Um... if you could
just help--
It sticks. Can you grab that?
- Yeah, no problem.
- Right here is... this!
- Ah.
- It's complimentary,
and you can just give it a read.
When you have a moment.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh, sorry to bother you.
yeah. OK, Bye.
- OK. Bye-bye.
- Max! Wait!
Wait! Max! Max!
- What a bunch of crazies.
This is not funny!
Max, it's not funny!
- Undead creature?
Humanoid-looking. Yeah.
Probably drooling...
and eating somebody's...
Ohhhh!
Eating somebody's brains.
Ugh!
Ugh!
Brains?
Ah!
Mm!
Mm!
I want brai--
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm!
Mm-mmm! Mm-mmm! Mm-mmm!
No I don't! No I don't!
I want, um...
I want a...!
Pecan pie!
Mmm!
Pecan pie! Mmm!
Mmm! Yeah!
This is so delicious!
Mmm! Mmm!
Damn it!
I want brains.
Ugh!
Oh, God!
I'm a zombie!
I'm a god damned zombie.
Tina's gonna kill me.
No.
Yes.
Groovy.
Ouch!
Ahhhh...
Whew!
All right,
you little bastards.
Food chain ends here.
- ? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
- Ah!
Ah!
- ? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
? Oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh ?
? Whoa oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh ?
- Oh, my God,
it's moving.
Oh.
I don't know, Muffins.
Maybe I should just give up,
turn myself in.
I'm a pretty crappy zombie.
Come here.
Come here, big guy.
Ohhhh.
Are you scared?
Sorry I scared you, buddy.
You thought I was going
to eat you, didn't you?
Yeah, you thought
I was going to eat you.
You thought I was going
to eat your brain!
Wooo!
Did you take
your fucking adrenaline?
- Steve.
I don't know how
you think you're gonna eat
an entire watermelon--
- Hi!
- Let me get this straight.
You think
that you are a zombie?
- Little bit.
- Tina, this is ridiculous!
Look at the pressure
that you're putting on him
for this stupid wedding!
- What?!
My rabbit just died!
- Oh, God,
it was a glorified rat!
- Stop it! You heard the guy
in the driveway. They said
they were looking for me.
- Oh, God.
- Steve, this is the real world,
OK? That guy was a psycho.
There are no such thing
as zombies!
- Then how do you explain
the brains? Ugh! Damn it!
- Oh, my God. Gross!
My fianc doesn't eat brains.
- Ugh.
Can we please not say
that word?
- Actually, I think
he does eat... brains.
- Ugh.
- Exhibit fuckin' A.
- Shut up!
Shut up!
Steve,
we are getting married,
and you are
just freaking out.
Lots of men do this
before the big day.
- Honey, I obviously have
a problem here.
- You have a problem?
I have a problem!
Do you know how many people are
coming to our wedding?
How many meals I've skipped
to fit into that $5,000 dress?
And now my fianc tells me
that he doesn't want to marry me
by killing my rabbit!
- Baby, listen to me.
I love you. Of course
I'm going to marry you!
This isn't cold feet. I'm sick!
- Really? Really, Steve?
OK, if you're a zombie,
then how come you're not
trying to eat my face?
- I don't know!
I don't want to.
I couldn't hurt anybody.
But baby, I...
I really need to eat! I am
so freakin' hungry right now!
I can't even eat regular food!
- So what do we do?
- We find me
something I can eat.
- That's it?
- Yes! It's not a big deal!
- I'm sorry, uh,
no big deal?
Dude, you're a fucking zombie!
This is a huge deal.
- All right, everybody,
let's just calm down.
Craig, does that book say
anything about food?
- Page one.
- Mmm! All right!
Just listen.
I feel great.
All right? I feel good,
I really do!
I just need
to find myself some...
Mmm!
You know? So I'm gonna go
to the store and get them.
- We're coming
with you.
- Thank you.
- No!
- I'll go change.
- This is bullshit.
He's not a zombie.
- Of course he's not.
But I'm gonna call him on it.
If he wants brains,
I will get him brains.
I'll even mash them up
and I will spoon feed him
if I have to. But afterwards,
he's gonna tell me
what this is really about.
- So... should I put this
in the freezer?
- Really, Craig?
- Maybe a stew?
Look at this place,
look at this!
This looks great!
Um... OK.
- Creative Meats.
- Gross.
- Ew.
- Don't be rude.
I didn't realize meat
was a medium for expressing
creativity.
- Oh, dude!
What are ya...?
Whoa. This place looks like
a Civil War field hospital
or something.
- Craig, a little
positive thinking.
- Guys, look.
Skunk meat!
- Fresh skunk meat!
- Ah!
- You look like a gal
with an adventurous palate.
You know, raccoon is more subtle
than you might think, despite
it's popular reputation
as a garbage feeder.
Yes, ma'am,
I do love me some 'coon meat!
- Who doesn't?
Ha-ha-ha-ha...
- Actually,
we're looking for something,
a... little off the menu.
- Pardon me, sir,
but this establishment does
not condone the sale
of illegal firearms.
I am but a simple butcher.
But, just out of curiosity,
what type and calibre are
we talking about?
- Ohhh.
No, actually, thank you.
Um, we're actually looking
for some...
brains.
- And maybe
some of that racoon meat.
- Eww!
- What? He made it...
he made it sound kinda good.
- Did I just
hear you right, boy?
Did you just ask me
for... brains?
- Yes.
- Well, hot dog!
I'm a brain man myself!
Wa-hooo! This is
your lucky day, muchacho
I don't get as much call
for brains,
on account of the cholesterol.
But I'll tell ya,
I'll take me a mass
of pan-fried calves' brains
over a rack of ribs
- Ugh!
- Sure. Ha-ha! Me too.
- These just came in
this morning.
- Oh-ho-ho!
This is messed up.
- Yeah,
I'm gonna be in the car.
- Now, these little ones are
appetizer size.
Great
for holiday entertaining.
We got squirrel, muskrat,
and those little ones there,
them's rattlesnake.
Choice eating, those!
- May I?
- I'm not big
on free samples...
but I don't get many chances
to eat brains
with a fellow gourmand,
as it were, so...
Cheers.
- Steve! That's enough.
You're not actually gonna
eat that, are you?
- Oh, yeah.
- I will be in the car.
- Well, I guess it's a table
for two, monsieur! Unless...
- Oh, no.
No, I'm good.
Yeah.
- Mmm!
- Just like a little candy,
right, Stevie?
- They are delicious!
- You like 'em raw, too!
A man after my own heart.
Mmm!
- What are those ones there?
- Oh, these are simply divine!
Here we got
skunk, owl,
Canadian beaver,
and rabbit.
- Oh, rabbit!
Your favourite!
Too soon?
- Mm...
- And this...
is la pice de rsistance.
This is
genuine, Grade A,
all-American
grizzly bear brain.
It is to die for.
- It's beautiful.
- Grill this baby
low and slow for--
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, he's gonna pay
for that.
That's $19.99 a pound.
- Ahh. Ahhh!
- So?
How do you feel?
- OK.
You know what?
I feel OK.
- We'll take it.
We'll take it all.
- Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!
- See that?
Good as new.
You wanna kiss
and make up?
- Pull over there.
- You want
to stay here?
- Uh, listen. Between
the crazy glue and
the painkillers
for your foot, we have gone
way over budget, OK?
So now we are roughing it.
Don't even!
- Fine. I like it rough.
- Then don't moisturize
your hand.
- OK, but you have
to spit on it.
- I will glue that hand
to your face!
Remove your hand.
Kindly remove
your hand right now.
- Give me a little.
- That's real mature, Max.
You have pushed me
to my limit.
- Can you please
not do that
right now?
- What?
- Eat like a fuckin' zombie pig!
- Craig, you're not helping.
- No. I'm not, because I'm not
a zombie collaborator.
- SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
YOU SHUT UP!
YOU SHUT UP!
- Ow! What the fuck?!
- Oh, my God!
- OK.
- Don't touch me right now!
- Look, I know this is a lot
to take in, but it's really
gonna be OK.
- Really? How?
- Yeah, how?
- Here's an idea:
why don't we talk about this
in the cabin?
- Oh, no, I think we should talk
about this on the way home.
- Yeah, I agree.
I'll start packing.
- Guys! Wait!
Great. Thanks, Craig.
- Eat me!
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Would you two just please
stop it!
- OK, damn it!
I know that you're scared,
all right? I am too.
- I'm not afraid.
- There's no reason for us to be
treating each other like this.
Now, I'm starting to feel
better. The hunger's not so bad
anymore.
Now, someone please tell me
where are my snake brains are.
- They're in your hand.
- Which hand?
- The one in the car.
- Oh, oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry, baby!
- That's amazing!
I don't even feel that!
- What do you mean?
- I don't feel it. At all.
- It doesn't hurt?
- Nope!
- Seriously?
- It's fine! I'm OK!
- No pain?
- Uh-uh.
- Let's do that again.
- No!
- This is stupid!
- No, its actually pretty cool.
- OK, you could warn me
next time.
- Oh, look, you, uh, dropped
your little bag of snacks there.
Let me get that for ya.
- What the fuck, Craig!
- That was awesome!
- OK, that was
a good one.
- No, but seriously,
we should get you to a hospital.
- Why? I mean,
aside from the brains
and a little numbness, I'm fine.
Besides, when it comes down
to it, it's really just
a dietary restriction.
- Yeah, it's like that chick
I know, uh, what's her face?
Um, she's allergic
to gluten and shit.
What's her face? Fuck.
- It's me, you idiot! Your wife?
I'm gluten intolerant!
- Steve,
I just want you
to feel like yourself again.
- I do, Tina.
I feel great!
And you know what? I'm happy.
And I'm in love
with you.
- Ugh...
- OK, we can stay.
- Seriously?
Am I the only one
that sees a problem with this?
You can't feel pain!
You eat brains!
- I don't even want
to eat brains...
that much.
Look, I promise,
the first second that I feel
bad, we'll go home. All right?
- Fine.
But for the record,
this is a bad idea.
- Lets just try
to have some fun.
- Oh!?
Woo!
- ? ...go away
? Even though
I didn't want to let go ?
? Why can't you see
that what you're looking for ?
- Oh! Huh?
Hey!
- ? And you're never gonna
let it show ?
- Ah!
- ? ...girl like you
? You you you you
you you you you ?
? No, no,
I don't miss you now ?
? But I will never find
another one ?
? No, no,
you don't miss me now ?
? But you will never...
- Woo!
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah!
- ? ...never find another one
- I feel great!
Oh, my God!
Oh, kill me!
- That's it, we have to get him
to the hospital.
- He's fine. Look at all
the stuff he did today.
- Tina, he's not a superhero;
he's undead!
I think he's getting worse.
- How could this be worse?
- Look. Right here it says:
"The undead host must
consume living
"human cerebral tissue.
Any dead or non-human tissue
will eventually be rejected."
- Wh-Wh-What are
you talking about?
- Animal brains are like junk
food. It's like he's yakking up
zombie mini doughnuts.
- Why didn't you tell us
about this before?
- What? I hadn't gotten
that far. Look at how thick
this bitch is!
- Nooo, my Steve is
gonna be OK.
He's gonna be OK.
He's gonna be OK
just in time for the wedding.
- Tina,
if this keeps up, by next week
we'll be at his funeral.
- Oh, hey, buddy.
You get it all out?
- Oh, my God, Steve.
You look like death!
That's it, Tina.
We have to take him
to the hospital now!
- Enough!
He's fine.
He's fine!
We are not taking him
to some back-water hospital.
He's fine.
You just need some rest,
right, baby?
You just need some rest,
that's all.
- Ahhh... Ah!
- Oh, my God!
- Holy fuck, dude!
That is your ear!
- OK, I draw the line at things
falling off my brother's face.
Craig, get the car.
- Finally. See you guys, later.
- No, they're coming with us.
- Son of a fuck!
- No! We are not going
anywhere!
Craig, go upstairs right now
and get my cosmetic kit.
- Right.
- This is fucked.
- Honey, I see women
that are way worse come
into my salon,
and you know what?
After I'm done with them,
they're like, like new people!
- I'm in pretty bad shape, Tina.
- Look at me.
You and I are going to be doing
the chicken dance with my Nonna
at our wedding
in one week. OK?
But right now
my man looks like shit,
so we have
some work to do.
Sarah, go get me
a paper towel.
- Tina, you're not seri--
- Now!
Craig,
I need you to take Steve's ear
and rinse it off.
- Fuck that noise!
- Craig!
- What's that?
- Oh, it's eyelash adhesive.
Yeah.
- Oh--
- Oh!
- What?
Just say they're piercings.
I'm not fucking touching it.
- Ugh... OK...
Heh-heh...
Now, just...
hold... still.
OK? And...
- Ugh!
- Ahhhhh!
Ahhh, I feel like Frankenstein.
Thank you
for being so sweet.
- Honey, I'm not giving up
on you because of some
eating disorder
or, or a missing ear.
This wouldn't even turn a head
at my family dinner table.
- I love you, baby.
- OK, now, stay straight.
You don't want to have
crooked ears.
No. 'Cause my man has
perfect ears.
- As long as he looks fine
for your fucking wedding.
- Craig, can you come here
for a sec?
- What?
- Hold this.
- Gross!
- Don't move,
either of you.
Sarah, can I talk to you
in the other room for a second?
- You sure can.
- Great.
- Whoa, wait.
Where are you guys going?
We'll be back.
- So, uh... zombie dick?
- Yeah, its pretty bad.
- So, what now, Tina?
You want to talk
about the fringe
on my matron of honour dress?
- All right,
that is... it!
- What the fuck?!
You just punched my tit!
- Come on, tough girl.
You got a problem with me?
Let's see what you-- Oww!
Ow! Jesus!
You punch like a man!
- What the hell is
your problem?!
- I just want us to get this out
of our systems so that we can
work together and help Steve.
- So you punch me in the tit?!
What are you, 12?
- You're kind of a bad ass,
so I... I needed an advantage.
- Yeah? Well, this bad ass is
about to kick your ass!
If you're done playing zombie
makeover with him,
we can actually get him some
god damn professional help.
- What the...?
- Yeah, and those people
that came by,
they seem
like real humanitarians.
- Tina! Sarah!
- Don't move that ear!
- Yeah, Steve. This is hot.
- I'm sick of you and your
Little Miss Perfect bullshit!
- Ugh!
- Girls!
- Just a bit longer.
- Don't you even!
Ah! Stop it!
I hate you!
You!
- Bitch!
- Emo slut!
- Plastic whore!
- Enough! Tina!
Try talking to Sarah!
- Fine! Sarah, you're a bitch!
- Tina!
Stop using judgemental language,
get to the heart
of your conflict,
and empathize with her point
of view. And Sarah,
stop being
so defensively aggressive
and be an active listener.
- OK. Sarah, I know
how much you love your brother,
and I know that you don't think
that I'm right for him.
But I love him.
Right now,
he's Steve. But if we don't
come up with something,
he's gonna
turn into a monster.
- He already is,
you morons!
Look at him.
He needs...
brains.
- Ugh.
- Ah, gross.
- OK...
Craig is right.
- Of course I'm right.
The book says I'm right.
- And they're gonna have
to be human too.
But maybe I just need a bit.
Just enough so that I can
function.
- What do you have
in mind?
- I'm going to go
into town.
I'm going to find somebody
that won't be missed.
And I'm gonna eat
their fucking brains.
- Come on.
That's rich.
- No, you're not.
- There's no way, Steve.
- What?
- Honey, I just accidentally
pulled your ear off.
You're in no condition
to hunt.
- Well, what then?
- I have an idea.
- Jesus! Fff!
Look what you've done
to our women, Steve.
And who the fuck packs
hooker boots for a weekend
at the cottage?
- I do, and you don't have
to be involved if you're afraid.
- We're just afraid that you
girls are gonna get
into trouble.
- Honey,
everything is gonna be fine.
- Family takes care of family.
- Yeah, and we're family,
all right--the fuckin'
Manson family!
So what are you girls gonna do
Bring back some sorry prick
so he can eat him.
- Wow. Thug life. Great.
- Steve,
if we get someone,
can you go through with this?
- I'm sure my zombie instincts
will just kick in.
But get somebody really old.
Or like a real asshole.
- How about
a really old asshole?
- Do you want a man
or do you want a woman?
- Oh. A man. Definitely. I don't
think I could eat a woman.
- Gay. Way to go, Steve.
You're the first gay-ass zombie.
You're really breaking
a lot of ground this weekend.
- Craig, shut up.
Seriously, we have to...
we have to get someone
that you're gonna hate
so you can...
I dunno, kill them
without remorse.
Like a...
like a pedophile
or a meth dealer.
- Or a hipster.
I really hate hipsters.
- Or a parking cop.
I hate those bastards.
- I hate the Portuguese.
Uh... um, anyways,
you just need to make sure
you're ready to do what you have
to do when we come back.
- Craig'll help you get ready.
- What? Fuck that!
- Come on.
- So, if, uh,
things don't work out
between you and Tina,
and you decide
to marry a gay zombie,
I do support your decision.
But I wont be
at the reception,
because I don't eat
cock or brains.
- Yeah, you're hilarious there!
- Yeah, so I RSVP "no"
to gay zombie wedding.
Yup.
So long, Muffins.
- This place reminds me
of where my parents would
take me camping every summer.
- My father...
sent me
to a survival camp
in the Philippines
when I was nine.
They, uh, dropped me
in the jungle
in the middle of a monsoon.
I had to survive
for seven days.
- Your father did that
to you?
- It was my birthday.
I'm tellin' ya, though,
those seven days...
made me tough.
Tough enough to take anything
that comes my way.
Alive or undead.
- Max, why do you hate zombies
so much?
I mean, what if your mother
turned into a zombie?
What would you do?
- Shoot her in the face.
- You would not shoot
your mother in the face
if she was in a coma.
- No. If she was
in a coma,
she wouldn't be trying to turn
my head into a god damned
fondue pot.
- Right.
Well, if we find
this resistant host,
we could find a vaccine.
You'd be a hero, Max.
- You're right,
I am a god damn hero.
I'm tired of waiting for
your orb to tell us what to do.
We're gonna do this my way!
- Uh, where are we going?
- To get some bait.
- Him? He looks old.
Kinda.
- He looks like
he could have Alzheimer's.
Is that contagious?
- This is just evil!
- Suck it up, Sarah.
Your brother needs us.
- Look. Soul patch.
That guy's a douche for sure.
- He's too fat.
He's like a walking bucket
of chicken.
- I'm gonna throw up.
- Sarah, you need to take that
terrified look off your face,
OK? We're not gonna get
anyone unless you throw
out a certain vibe.
- What kind of vibe?
- Watch and learn.
- Wow. That's sexy.
- I know, right?
OK, now you try.
Relax,
throw your shoulders back,
and wipe that look
off your face.
- OK, how's this look?
- Like you're
having a pap smear.
- Ugh! This isn't going to work!
- We can do this, Sarah!
- I just don't know how
we're gonna pick somebody.
- We'll figure it out. You know,
just keep our eyes open
and eventually somebody'll
just end up in our laps.
- Oh, my God!
- What the fuck! My car!
- Tina.
Look.
Big scary guy is
checking us out. Hi.
- Huh.
That big scary guy...
...is a dead man. Hey.
- Are you crazy?
She's crazy.
- OK. So, apparently,
eight bones make up
the neurocranium.
So it's like a bone vault
for the brain and brain stem.
This part over here
is the parietal.
So, this little sucker is
like a quarter of an inch thick
and hard as shit.
All right, so you're gonna have
to Babe Ruth smash the shit
out of this thing
so you can have access
to the cerebral cortex.
- Got it.
Oh, that smells good.
Mmm!
- What the fuck, dude!
- What?
- You just smelled
my fucking brain!
- No. Let's not jump
to conclusions here.
No, all right,
you're a fucking monster!
- Craig!
- Just stay the fuck
away from me, all right?
Gay-ass zombie!
- God damn!
- Wow!
That is so... hot!
My, uh...
woman parts like you too.
Ha-ha-ha...
Ugh, how is he
still standing?
He's had enough booze
to knock out a rhino!
- Don't worry, it's OK. I have
a plan. Just get him
in the back seat.
- Are you fucking joking me?
No fucking way!
- Don't worry, he's harmless.
- Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
- Oh, my God!
- Come on! I need you
to suck it up,
and be sexy, and get him
in the back seat! Come on!
Go! Get outta here!
- Hey... big man.
So...
so, you wanna,
you wanna go for a ride?
Stud monkey.
You make Mommy so horny!
What?
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Go ahead, get in.
- Hey, there.
Whoa, whoa,
wait, wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa--
- Ahhh!
- You have a pink
stun gun?
- Yeah. It's cute, right?
OK, lets go! I'll drive!
- Wait!
What about me?
- Pizza, pizza, pizza!
Ha-ho! Pizza!
Pizza, pizza!
- Max.
- Pizza, pizza, pizza!
Ha-ha!
Evening, young lady.
- Hello!
Are you, uh, Captain Cletus?
- Where's the pizza?
- The...
No, uh, sorry. We are actually
here for something else.
- Ma'am, if you are implying
I might be in possession
of illegal firearms, I will
kindly ask you to leave--
- No, we don't want guns,
Admiral Redneck.
We need brains.
- Uh... Max.
- Ya'll have
a good night, now.
- No wait, OK,
all we want is brains.
- Sorry, Missy, no can do.
Somebody cleaned me out
earlier today.
- Who?
- Bunch of kids. Now beat it.
- No, wait!
Can you tell us
anything else about them?
- Couple o' pretty-looking
ladies was hanging with
some queer-looking feller
and another that couldn't get
enough of my brains! Now, git!
- That's our zombie, Penny.
Come on.
- The cottage!
No, Max, wait!
If the infected one hasn't eaten
the others yet, it must mean
that he's resisting
the infection!
Which is wonderful!
Shit!
Where is that cottage?
- Hey, man, did you order
the Vegetarian Nightmare?
Extra Polish sausage,
German sausage, Belgian Sausage,
Russian sausage--
- Nope.
- Fuckin' hate this job.
- Ugh!
Oh, God. Ugh!
OK.
Oh, God. Ugh!
- What the hell!
- I have been worried sick!
- Shut up, Steve! Oh, baby,
you look kinda better,
that's good, but shut up.
You need to help us
carry this in.
- This is ridiculous.
We need a dolly or something.
Where's Craig?
- Uh...
sleeping, I think.
- Sleeping?!
- What?
- Yeah! I can help.
- OK.
- Come on.
OK, I'll take his legs, or--
- Oh, my God!
How did you get this guy?!
- Oh, God.
Oh, God.
- Holy crap!
- This is ridiculous!
Are you girls pulling?
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God!
- Fuckin' freak family.
- OK, we softened him up
for you.
- That guy is huge!
- I know, honey,
but he's out cold.
Are you ready?
- Oh this is crazy.
You girls just kidnapped a guy!
And now you're gonna
eat him!
- OK, listen to me.
This is very important.
This is
our new lifestyle, OK?
And if we're gonna walk
down the aisle together,
then we both just need
to embrace this.
- OK, all right.
He's all tied up
and he's still out of it.
I wouldn't wait
too long.
- All right. I'm gonna go
downstairs and eat this guy!
- OK.
- Thank you!
You've both have been
so incredible.
I'm so happy to see the two
of you working together so well.
You know, I think if this
weekend has taught us anything--
- Steve, just GO!
- Wah!
- Love you!
- Wait, wait, wait! Here!
- Oh, my God!
Boots are killing me!
- Oof! Ugh!
OK...
- I can smell
his undead ass.
- Max, we haven't gotten
a reading from the orb.
We've been driving around
in circles for hours.
OK, you have all the bells
and whistles in here.
You have this!
Who do you even talk to
in this?
And yet you don't have
a NAV system!
- I don't need
a fucking computer.
I'm a fucking professional!
I can feel when they're
close by.
I don't need a fucking piece
of technology.
You're a stone-cold killer.
- You're a stone-cold killer.
You're a stone-cold killer.
- Get it.
- You're a stone-cold--
- Hello?
- Hey. Uh, y-you guys came by
my place today. It's my friend,
he's turned into a zombie.
- OK, uh, uh,
calm down, and, uh,
where are you?
- Uh, it's
- 42 Clear Lake Drive.
- Who is it?
- Oh, we're close!
- Who is it?!
you're just going to do tests,
you're not gonna hurt him?
Your gonna make him back
to normal again, right?
- Of course.
He's gonna be in good hands--
- You're fucking right
he'll be in good hands.
Who the fuck is this?
- Who the fuck is this?
- Hey, calm the fuck down, pal.
- I don't want to calm the fuck
down. Fuck you, fucker!
You calm the fuck down!
- You fucking relax!
- No, you go fuck yourself
and get the fuck over here,
you fucker!
- No, you fuck yourself,
you fuck!
- Fuck you.
- Fuck! FUUUUUUUCK!
- Max! Max, really?
Those things
practically have feelings.
- Not anymore.
- Ha!
That's stupid.
Mmm... no.
Just do it!
Mmm.
- Hey.
- What the hell are you guys
doing with all those guns?
- Hey there, pumpkin.
Nice of you to call us
about your little friend--
- You promised me
you weren't gonna hurt him.
- No, no, no.
No, no, we won't hurt him, OK?
We promise.
Right, Max?
We won't hurt him.
- You stay here with sugar tits.
I got this one.
- No, wait, Max. Max, this one
is different. OK, we cannot
waste this opportunity. It'd be
like throwing away the cure
for cancer. OK, Max, listen!
- No, you listen! Zombies are
killin'.
- Max, we need this guy, OK?
- No, no!
- Christ.
- No, no, no, no!
- I don't need anybody.
Mmm...
- This orb was
centuries... old.
- Lady, fuck your orb,
all right?
Make sure that maniac
doesn't hurt my friend!
Where is he?
- No, you don't understand!
- Don't you touch my brother!
- Where is he?!
- Sorry, pal.
- Open the door!
Open the door! Open the door!
- No!
- Open the door! Open the door!
- No!
- Open the door!
Open the door! Girls!
Girls!
Open the door!
Ah!
- Is that--
- Yes! It is.
- You promised me
you weren't gonna hurt him!
- Wait! You called them?!
- Uh-oh. Awkward.
Hey!
What the hell is that?
- Oh, just hundreds of years
of mystical antiquity
that you selfishly discar--
- Oh, for Christ's sake, Penny,
get over it!
- I wanna say goodbye to him.
- No, no, no, no, no!
- No, it's...
it's pretty messy.
- Thank you so much
for coming.
I don't know what
we would have done without you.
- Well, luckily, Little
Miss Braveheart over here,
she had the good sense
to give us a call
when she did. Way to go,
pumpkin. Now you can sew
a big, fat "Courage" badge
on your Girl Scout sash.
Great big badge
in the shape of a lion,
giving you two thumbs up.
How about that, huh?
'Cause you are
such a mature young woman.
You may even get asked
to the junior prom
where you can get fingered
in the cafetorium, right next--
- You know what? Fuck you,
asshole! All right?
That was my best friend!
- And we are so sorry for your
loss, and we will personally--
- You know what? Why are you OK
with this? Your brother's dead!
- You're right!
It's, it's, it's horrible!
You, you monsters!
Get the fuck
out of here!
- Yes, yes, yeah, yeah!
You know what?
You guys are animals!
Leave now!
- OK, you're right.
Let's blow, Penny.
I'm sorry.
- What the fuck?!
- Hi.
Ugh!
- Holy fuck, Steve!
You're OK! Did you see me?
I was fucking crying
and everything! Did you see?
- Nice try, zombie.
Now, get read
to say your prayers...
in hell!
- No!
- Get out of the way.
- No! You are not gonna
shoot him, because we are
getting married in six days!
- Don't make me
shoot through ya.
- No! Don't you see?
He's not a complete zombie!
He's still human!
- Max, you idiot!
Don't you see this is it?
He's resisting the infection.
This is our chance
to find the cure!
- Oh, yeah, sure,
you'd like that, wouldn't ya?
A nice little guinea pig
that you can study
and make everything all better.
Then everybody gets
booster shots and lollipops
and there are no more zombies.
Let me tell you something,
sister. The only shot
that cures a zombie
comes out of the end
of this sweet little baby
right here.
Suck it up,
brain junkie,
'cause you ain't getting
a lolli after this one.
No!
- Get off me, you bitch.
Happy honeymoon.
- Ah!
- Shit!
- Whoa! Hey!
- Do it, Steve!
- Yeah, eat that fucker's head!
- Oh, God,
messy fucker.
- I can't do this.
Ah... it's time
to face the fact
that I'm, uh,
whatever this is.
And whatever this is
is not safe to be around.
- Oh, Steve, dude,
seriously, I am so sorry
I called you a gay-ass zombie
all right? We can put you on
an island somewhere, all right?
Somewhere far away.
We'll come visit, like
at Christmas and shit, right?
- Steve, think about this.
- Sarah, I can't be
this selfish.
I can't go on having people
in my life be accessory
to murder.
- No, Steve!
No!
- You'll take care of her, yeah?
- Steve, please,
give me the gun.
- I am so sorry, Tina.
I really wish
I could be there for all of it--
for the chicken dance
with your Nonna,
eating our wedding cake,
seeing you
in your dress.
I love you.
- I love you, Steve.
- All right.
Where do you wanna do this?
You want to, uh...
go around the back?
Or what do you wanna do?
Max,
let's talk about this!
- Whoa! Here?! Really?!
Now?! Are you sure?!
- I just want you to know,
of all the zombies
I've encountered, you're...
the most human.
- Please.
Not in front of my girl.
- All right.
- Oh!
- The only good zombie...
- is a dead zom--
- Shit...
I was aiming for his leg.
- Holy fuck, lady! You just,
like, totally wasted
your boyfriend!
- He was not my boyfriend.
He was the muscle.
OK, Steve? Steve.
Here's how it is.
Um...
I could put you down
right now, if that's
what you want me to do.
Or, you can come with me,
and we can see if we can't
find a cure for this, uh,
this thing. Now, I-I-I can't
promise any thing, b-b-but
I will use all of my resources,
I will work day and night,
I will use my education
until we find a way
to beat this infection.
Oh, and, and
when we're done with this
and we find a cure...
you'll be a hero.
- Really?
- I'll be a hero.
But, uh,
but you'll be a celebrity,
which is...
pretty much as good.
- Dude, we are
gonna be famous!
- So, what do you say,
Steve?
- All right, I'll--
- Ahh!
- Baby!
Are you all right?
- You fucking moron!
- Ewwww!
- We're safe now.
Everything is gonna be fine!
- You are a fucking moron!
She was gonna help us.
She was gonna help Steve!
You ruined everything!
- She was gonna hurt him, Craig!
OK?! She wanted to use him
for experiments!
- No, we were gonna be
celebrities!
On the internet!
Or at least on fucking TV!
- Everything was
gonna be fine!
- EVERYTHING IS FINE!
FUCK! Look at Steve!
Steve! You're all...
happy!
- Hi, Tina.
- Oh!
Hi, baby.
Everything is gonna be OK.
We are gonna get married,
we are gonna be happy,
and we are
gonna be fine.
I think I may have
fucked up a little bit
at the end there,
but its OK, 'cause we made it!
- Baby.
- I love you.
- I love brains!
- ? Hey, hey, hey!
? Hey, hey, hey!
- ? It was a bad idea
? To give me this kind
of time ?
? When they said
"You're gonna be ?
? In solitary confinement"
? While the other inmates
? Are outside lifting barbells
? I'm in an 8x10
? Prison cell
? But in the night
of the sun ?
- ? Hey, hey, hey!
- ? The night of the sun
- ? Hey, hey, hey!
- ? The night of the sun
- ? Hey, hey, hey!
- ? The night of the sun
- ? New state officials
? Are outside running around
? And they're telling
the public ?
? That I need
to be put down ?
? And Washington's saying
? Emphatically
? That I wasn't doing things
? Democratically
? But in the night
of the sun ?
- ? Hey, hey, hey!
- ? The night of the sun
- ? Hey, hey, hey!
- ? The night of the sun
- ? Hey, hey, hey!
- ? The night of the sun
? The sun!
? It was a bad idea
- ? It was a bad idea
- ? To give me
this kind of time ?
- ? To give me this kind
of time ?
- ? It was a bad idea
- It's worse than horrible
because a zombie has
no will of his own,
walking around blindly
with dead eyes.
- ? I'm a zombie girl
in a zombie world ?
? When I see you, boy,
you make my head twirl ?
? Fall in, fall in,
fall in, fall in ?
? I'm a zombie girl
in a zombie world ?
? When I see you, boy,
you make my head twirl ?
? Fall in, fall in,
fall in, sit down ?
? I might be blonde,
but I'm not dumb ?
? I can make a J sign
with my finger and my thumb ?
? Oh no I got a paper gun
pointed at your shirt ?
? It'll totally stain your rug
and it's probably gonna hurt ?
? You might still be living
and I might be dead ?
? But you're lookin' way dirtier
than me, K, fair ?
? It's a rising of the zombies
and my face is rare ?
? Because that cute little
zombie is risen from the dead ?
? I might have an axe
stuck in my neck ?
? But I still got all my homies'
and my playas' respect ?
? I got the dopest rhymes
goin' through my head ?
? And my playas was right,
yo, hip hop's dead! ?
- ? I'm a zombie girl
in a zombie world ?
? When I see you, boy,
you make my head twirl ?
? Fall in, fall in,
fall in, fall in ?
? I'm a zombie girl
in a zombie world ?
? When I see you, boy,
you make my head twirl ?
? Fall in, fall in,
fall in, sit down ?
- ? A to the D
to the O double G ?
? He used to be a rapper
but he's now a zombie ?
? Gimme a couple boxes
of some Lucky Charms ?
? And maybe some blood,
and both of your arms ?
? 'Cause I'm a zombie
and I need my food ?
? Excuse me if my hand falls
off, I don't mean to be rude ?
? I'm a gangsta
and a zombie too ?
? My head just rolled off,
could you pass me that glue? ?
? I like playing b-ball,
especially with my head ?
? The NBA won't let me join,
I think it's 'cause I'm dead ?
? Knock, knock, who's there?
I got a date with Wolf Man ?
? We're going to this brand new
club to party... ?
? Go, zombie,
it's your birthday ?
? We're gonna party
like it's your birthday ?
? Go, zombie,
it's your birthday ?
? We're gonna party
like it's your birthday... ?